1
00:00:16,041 --> 00:00:18,208
<i>♪ Me and baby brother ♪</i>

2
00:00:19,125 --> 00:00:21,541
<i>♪ Used to run together ♪</i>

3
00:00:24,708 --> 00:00:26,708
<i>♪ Me and baby brother ♪</i>

4
00:00:27,875 --> 00:00:29,875
<i>♪ Used to run together ♪</i>

5
00:00:30,458 --> 00:00:33,040
<i>♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah ♪</i>

6
00:00:33,041 --> 00:00:35,166
<i>♪ Welcome one another ♪</i>

7
00:00:36,333 --> 00:00:38,458
<i>♪ Headed for the corner ♪</i>

8
00:00:39,041 --> 00:00:41,249
<i>♪ Hey, hey, yeah ♪</i>

9
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:44,999
<i>♪ Shiftin' on his mind
Is like drinking funky wine ♪</i>

10
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,625
{\an8}<i>♪ By the river ♪</i>

11
00:00:49,666 --> 00:00:53,540
<i>♪ Chippin' on his mind
Is like drinking funky wine</i>... <i>♪</i>

12
00:00:53,541 --> 00:00:55,165
Brothers for life.

13
00:00:56,458 --> 00:00:58,416
Marcus?
Mm.

14
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,249
Where are you going?

15
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,999
I'm getting out of here, man.
My brother needs me.

16
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,790
Are you sure that's a good idea?

17
00:01:04,791 --> 00:01:06,874
Look at the last email he sent.

18
00:01:06,875 --> 00:01:08,332
"Wish you were here."

19
00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:10,332
"Hit me up if you're ever in New York."

20
00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:13,540
He's got too much pride to admit it,
but this is a cry for help.

21
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:16,416
It feels like
you're reading too much into this.

22
00:01:17,041 --> 00:01:19,916
Why don't we see what Matilda thinks?

23
00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:24,249
She says to follow your heart.

24
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,541
Thanks, Matilda.

25
00:01:26,291 --> 00:01:27,416
Goodbye, Keith.

26
00:01:27,916 --> 00:01:29,665
Here. You take her.
Oh.

27
00:01:29,666 --> 00:01:32,125
She's a very generous lover.

28
00:01:32,958 --> 00:01:34,541
No, you keep her.

29
00:01:35,583 --> 00:01:36,791
You're <i>her</i> rock.

30
00:02:01,583 --> 00:02:03,541
Shit. Where am I?

31
00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:16,832
Time for plan B.

32
00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:26,040
No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no.

33
00:02:26,041 --> 00:02:27,374
No, no, no, no, no!

34
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:31,250
I know. I'm worried about him too.

35
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,082
Oh shit.

36
00:02:42,083 --> 00:02:43,541
Whoo!

37
00:02:44,166 --> 00:02:45,750
I'm coming for you, big bro.

38
00:02:57,791 --> 00:02:59,415
How do I look?
Hmm?

39
00:02:59,416 --> 00:03:02,165
- I should be standing when they come in.
- Uh... What do you mean?

40
00:03:02,166 --> 00:03:04,790
These are big-time TV people, Mia.
They care about image.

41
00:03:04,791 --> 00:03:07,000
Right.
- What do you think about this?

42
00:03:08,208 --> 00:03:09,416
Coat buttoned.

43
00:03:09,916 --> 00:03:10,790
This.

44
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,290
Oh. Uh...

45
00:03:12,291 --> 00:03:15,457
That... Maybe the legs closer together.

46
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:16,582
It's too much?

47
00:03:16,583 --> 00:03:20,165
Okay, what if I stand, uh... sideways?
You know, head down, thoughtful, solemn.

48
00:03:20,166 --> 00:03:21,874
When they come in, I could--

49
00:03:21,875 --> 00:03:24,207
Rudd... relax.

50
00:03:24,208 --> 00:03:26,915
These people want you on their show
because of who you are,

51
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:27,957
not how you look.

52
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:31,499
'Cause of the real estate business
that you built from the ground up.

53
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:34,832
You don't have to put on a show for them.
You <i>are</i> the show.

54
00:03:34,833 --> 00:03:36,457
- Really?
- Absolutely.

55
00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:39,624
And, as your assistant,
I have the best seat in the house.

56
00:03:39,625 --> 00:03:42,082
Mia, I couldn't do any of this
without you.

57
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:44,249
- Thank you.
- There he is!

58
00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,290
Hey!
There's our superstar.

59
00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:47,957
Great to see you.
Wow.

60
00:03:47,958 --> 00:03:50,540
Rudd, I forgot how humongous
you are in person, brother.

61
00:03:50,541 --> 00:03:52,415
Yeah, he's built like a duplex, isn't he?

62
00:03:52,416 --> 00:03:55,333
Yes. I am terrified of you right now.

63
00:03:55,916 --> 00:03:58,957
- Yeah, you're like a freak from a lab.
- Yeah. Way too big.

64
00:03:58,958 --> 00:03:59,999
Big ol' guy.

65
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,749
Yeah.
- Yeah.

66
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:04,166
So, uh, we gonna do this?
Did I make the cut?

67
00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:06,165
Why tell you when we can show you?

68
00:04:06,166 --> 00:04:07,749
Come on. Have a seat.
Yeah.

69
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,290
<i>This season on</i> NYC Hustlers<i>,</i>

70
00:04:12,291 --> 00:04:15,249
<i>Hayley Boyajian
and Kieran Francis are back.</i>

71
00:04:15,250 --> 00:04:16,665
I have a foot fetish.

72
00:04:16,666 --> 00:04:18,290
{\an8}A square-foot fetish.

73
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:23,458
{\an8}After a battle with brain cancer,
my father tragically passed away.

74
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,707
But on the flip side,
I sold a condo to his radiologist.

75
00:04:26,708 --> 00:04:29,374
<i>But there's a new agent
on the New York scene.</i>

76
00:04:29,375 --> 00:04:31,415
<i>His name is Rudd Landy.</i>

77
00:04:31,416 --> 00:04:35,040
<i>And he didn't come to play nice.
He came to close deals.</i>

78
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:38,665
{\an8}<i>I built my firm from the ground up,
brick by brick, one listing at a time.</i>

79
00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:40,832
<i>Just a chubby kid from New Jersey</i>

80
00:04:40,833 --> 00:04:43,124
<i>with nothing more
than a real estate license and a dream.</i>

81
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:45,999
<i>And if that name
sounds familiar to you, it should.</i>

82
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,540
<i>Rudd is the kid brother</i>

83
00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:50,540
<i>of billionaire hedge fund manager
and man-about-town</i>...

84
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,250
<i>...Josh Landy.</i>

85
00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:56,582
<i>DJ, philanthropist, money mogul.</i>

86
00:04:56,583 --> 00:04:58,374
<i>He does it all.</i>

87
00:04:58,375 --> 00:04:59,624
<i>In other words,</i>

88
00:04:59,625 --> 00:05:02,708
<i>Rudd has a chip on his shoulder
the size of the Big Apple.</i>

89
00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:05,040
I may be the new kid on the block,

90
00:05:05,041 --> 00:05:08,124
but I'll do anything to get out
of my big brother's shadow.

91
00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:11,999
<i>Will Rudd remain
the one Landy with something to prove?</i>

92
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,290
<i>Find out on this season of</i> NYC Hustlers.

93
00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:18,290
So good.

94
00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:19,665
Look at him, speechless.

95
00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:22,040
He's speechless. Pretty exciting, huh?

96
00:05:23,166 --> 00:05:27,207
Yeah. Um... I don't remember saying
that thing about my brother's shadow.

97
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:28,332
Yeah, you didn't.

98
00:05:28,333 --> 00:05:30,749
We, uh... we used AI
to add in some dialogue for you.

99
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:33,874
Isn't that cool? We do it all the time.
It's just temp though. Don't worry.

100
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:35,375
We have options.

101
00:05:36,041 --> 00:05:39,290
<i>I got these big muscles
so I could feel like a big boy,</i>

102
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:41,290
<i>and not my brother's little bitch
for once.</i>

103
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,040
I love that one.
- It's so good. It's <i>so</i> relatable.

104
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:48,415
I mean, my heart...  ...aches for you.

105
00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,415
Always in second place. Always overlooked.

106
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:53,333
But now, here's your chance
to finally shine.

107
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:56,749
- Yeah, um--
- No, hey, hey, please. Don't hold back.

108
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,333
We love feedback. Give us feedback.

109
00:05:58,916 --> 00:06:00,540
Uh...

110
00:06:00,541 --> 00:06:02,958
Maybe less Josh, you know? Maybe more me?

111
00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:06,749
- How much less?
- Yeah, like, what percent less?

112
00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:09,249
Like, zero, maybe? Like, maybe zero Josh?

113
00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:11,207
And then... and then I'd go up to a hundred.

114
00:06:11,208 --> 00:06:14,540
Right, so you don't wanna be
overshadowed by your brother.

115
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,957
Kind of exactly what the intro was saying...

116
00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:19,040
Yep, I'm struggling to see the issue here.

117
00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:22,874
Look, guys... I am super pumped
for this opportunity, okay?

118
00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:25,957
I know what being on your show
could do for me and do for my firm.

119
00:06:25,958 --> 00:06:28,082
I'll tell you this right now.
I will crush this.

120
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,958
Because I am ready
to run with the big dogs.

121
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,040
But if this is the angle we're going with,

122
00:06:34,041 --> 00:06:36,374
I'm sorry,
I just don't think it's a good fit.

123
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:39,040
Wow.

124
00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:41,207
- I think what Rudd means--
- Did you feel that, Lenore?

125
00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:43,082
Oh, I felt that. Mm-hmm.

126
00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:46,124
<i>That's</i>... our angle right there.
Yeah.

127
00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:48,999
That's it. If you can bring
that big dog energy to our show,

128
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,124
we won't even need Josh.

129
00:06:50,125 --> 00:06:51,707
Mm-mm.
- I'll bring that energy.

130
00:06:51,708 --> 00:06:53,374
I will be the big dog.

131
00:06:53,375 --> 00:06:54,540
Ah.

132
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,999
No.

133
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,582
That is a lapdog.
Not what he was trying to give.

134
00:07:00,583 --> 00:07:02,040
Right, big dog?

135
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:03,000
Right.

136
00:07:05,708 --> 00:07:08,165
<i>Hey, brother. I've been thinking.</i>

137
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,290
<i>It's been a while
since we've seen each other,</i>

138
00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:14,957
<i>and I know our schedules
haven't really aligned, like, ever.</i>

139
00:07:14,958 --> 00:07:18,500
<i>But I was reading your last email,
and I had an epiphany.</i>

140
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:22,582
<i>At the end, when you said,
"see you later," it made me think,</i>

141
00:07:22,583 --> 00:07:25,458
{\an8}<i>"What if later was right now?"</i>

142
00:07:27,208 --> 00:07:29,582
{\an8}<i>The thing is,
my life is actually pretty great.</i>

143
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,707
{\an8}<i>-I've been traveling a lot lately.</i>
- Whoa!

144
00:07:31,708 --> 00:07:34,124
{\an8}<i>Spending more time in nature,</i>

145
00:07:34,125 --> 00:07:35,500
{\an8}<i>making new friends.</i>

146
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,832
{\an8}Oh, good morning.

147
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,583
{\an8}You can play through.

148
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:48,582
{\an8}Hey. How's everything tasting?

149
00:07:48,583 --> 00:07:51,250
{\an8}- Oh, are you our waiter?
- No, just curious.

150
00:07:52,416 --> 00:07:56,290
{\an8}<i>Anyway, I know how busy you are,
so I'm doing us both a favor.</i>

151
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:59,207
{\an8}<i>That's right.
I'm coming to see</i> you<i>, big bro!</i>

152
00:07:59,208 --> 00:08:00,457
Whoa!

153
00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:02,790
{\an8}<i>I was gonna surprise you
and show up at your door,</i>

154
00:08:02,791 --> 00:08:04,499
{\an8}<i>but I was just too damn excited.</i>

155
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,124
{\an8}<i>Like when you don't jerk it for a week
and finally see your girl</i>

156
00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:10,249
{\an8}<i>and can't even get it out of your pants
before busting all over the place.</i>

157
00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:11,624
{\an8}What the fuck are you doing?

158
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,957
{\an8}I asked you to watch my laptop
while I was in the bathroom.

159
00:08:13,958 --> 00:08:16,832
{\an8}Hang on one sec, bud.
Just in the middle of a thought here.

160
00:08:16,833 --> 00:08:20,915
{\an8}"Busting all over the place."

161
00:08:20,916 --> 00:08:22,374
{\an8}

162
00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:26,040
<i>Coming to see you, big bro!</i>

163
00:08:27,125 --> 00:08:28,624
{\an8}Shit.

164
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:30,416
Hey, Mia. You coming?

165
00:08:30,916 --> 00:08:33,249
{\an8}From now on,
we put all our focus on this show.

166
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:35,290
{\an8}- Could be a real game changer for us.
- So exciting.

167
00:08:35,291 --> 00:08:38,415
{\an8}And even if an unexpected distraction
were to pop up, we could just--

168
00:08:38,416 --> 00:08:41,499
{\an8}- Mia, you know I don't like surprises.
- Right.

169
00:08:41,500 --> 00:08:43,790
{\an8}Whatever comes up,
I trust you to handle it.

170
00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,874
{\an8}The faster we get going on this thing,

171
00:08:45,875 --> 00:08:48,665
{\an8}the more damage
even the smallest obstacle can present.

172
00:08:48,666 --> 00:08:50,957
{\an8}Did you know if an F1 racer
hits a pebble at full speed,

173
00:08:50,958 --> 00:08:52,832
{\an8}the car will literally explode?

174
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,624
{\an8}- It will?
- Yeah, it will.

175
00:08:54,625 --> 00:08:57,707
{\an8}That's why it's your job to get rid
of all the pebbles. You were saying?

176
00:08:57,708 --> 00:08:59,207
{\an8}Um... I was...

177
00:08:59,208 --> 00:09:01,208
{\an8}I was just saying that, uh,

178
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,083
{\an8}your car is... is waiting for you outside.

179
00:09:05,583 --> 00:09:07,291
{\an8}Thought I heard
something pretty out there.

180
00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:19,499
{\an8}Shit.

181
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:31,874
{\an8}New York City, here I come!

182
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,624
{\an8}<i>-♪ Woo, woo, dee, dee, dee ♪</i>

183
00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:36,165
{\an8}Oh yeah.

184
00:09:36,166 --> 00:09:37,500
{\an8}Oh, look at these cuties.

185
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,166
{\an8}Brothers!

186
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:02,082
Deirdre, this event... Wow. It's incredible.

187
00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:05,083
- I'm so proud of you.
- Aw! Hey, how was your meeting?

188
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:09,249
- We start shooting in two days.
- What? Are you serious?

189
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:10,457
Yes.

190
00:10:10,458 --> 00:10:12,665
I'm finally gonna be
playing in the big leagues.

191
00:10:12,666 --> 00:10:14,124
I just... I want you to know

192
00:10:14,125 --> 00:10:16,915
that all the sacrifices
we've been making as a family,

193
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,582
they are about to pay off big-time.

194
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,375
I am so happy for you.

195
00:10:21,208 --> 00:10:23,999
Okay, better get back to work.
I still have more asses I need to kiss.

196
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,374
- Do your thing. Where am I sitting?
- Table five. Your brother's there already.

197
00:10:27,375 --> 00:10:28,874
Yes!

198
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,874
He goes, "This is the castle
that Castle built."

199
00:10:30,875 --> 00:10:34,374
How do I look? Does my face look puffy?
He always points out if my face is puffy.

200
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:36,499
Rudd, you look great. Okay?
All right? I promise.

201
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:38,249
Clooney and I are drinking buddies.

202
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:39,874
Go get him.

203
00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:42,082
I said,
"Thank you so much for the briefcase."

204
00:10:42,083 --> 00:10:43,832
And he goes, "Did you open it?"

205
00:10:43,833 --> 00:10:46,957
There was a million dollars inside.
I thought the briefcase was the gift!

206
00:10:46,958 --> 00:10:49,332
Oh, there's a gift. Hey! There he is.

207
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:50,749
Get over here, big man.

208
00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:53,249
Oh! Hey, you look tremendous.

209
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:56,040
What happened to your face?
You gain weight? Looks good.

210
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:58,249
Do you work for Josh?
- What? Who, him?

211
00:10:58,250 --> 00:11:01,583
No, this is my baby brother.
Rudd Landy. He's a realtor.

212
00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:03,166
Oh.

213
00:11:03,666 --> 00:11:07,165
<i>And</i> I found out I'm gonna be
on this season of <i>NYC Hustlers</i>.

214
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,124
Oh my God. That is amazing.
Remind me, what is that again?

215
00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:12,540
It's... it's a big reality show.

216
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:16,415
That's perfect for you!
That's exactly what you should be doing.

217
00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:18,374
People love that reality stuff.

218
00:11:18,375 --> 00:11:21,332
It helps them forget
how shitty their lives are.

219
00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:23,333
Hey, congrats. You deserve it.

220
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:26,874
- Thanks.
- So are you selling Josh's house?

221
00:11:26,875 --> 00:11:28,624
- Ah...
- You're selling your house?

222
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:31,457
Yeah, it's time. She's been good to me.
But, you know, yeah, look.

223
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,874
Nah. He doesn't wanna be
listing his older bro's place.

224
00:11:33,875 --> 00:11:36,707
He definitely doesn't wanna be
dealing with Business Josh.

225
00:11:36,708 --> 00:11:37,915
"Below asking?!"

226
00:11:37,916 --> 00:11:40,040
Whoa! "Below" this!

227
00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:41,207
Whoa!

228
00:11:43,958 --> 00:11:45,415
{\an8}Wow.

229
00:11:45,416 --> 00:11:48,207
{\an8}$5,000 from the Blumenfelds.

230
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,749
That is gonna go such a long way.

231
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:51,665
Thank you.

232
00:11:51,666 --> 00:11:54,249
I think we can all sleep
a little easier tonight,

233
00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:57,082
{\an8}knowing <i>they're</i> gonna sleep
a little easier tonight.

234
00:11:57,083 --> 00:12:01,875
And that would not be possible
without your generous, generous donations.

235
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:04,041
Oh.

236
00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:06,165
Rudd Landy, my husband.

237
00:12:06,166 --> 00:12:08,582
$10,000?
Aw!

238
00:12:08,583 --> 00:12:10,332
My God.

239
00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:11,707
Honey, I love you.

240
00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:17,249
{\an8}Well, that looks like
it's all of our donors for this evening,

241
00:12:17,250 --> 00:12:21,165
and I am so grateful
to each and every single one...

242
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:23,082
I have a little video.

243
00:12:23,083 --> 00:12:23,999
Uh...

244
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:28,833
Okay, I guess we have
a special video this evening.

245
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,832
<i>Hey, Deirdre. It's Paris.</i>

246
00:12:31,833 --> 00:12:34,582
<i>When Josh told me about Mattress Miracles,</i>

247
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:36,249
<i>I was obsessed.</i>

248
00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:39,874
<i>Anyone who knows me knows
there's nothing I'm more passionate about</i>

249
00:12:39,875 --> 00:12:42,749
<i>than solving
the homelessness crisis in America.</i>

250
00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:45,874
<i>That's why I'm donating
$100,000 to the cause.</i>

251
00:12:45,875 --> 00:12:48,040
- Oh my God!
- <i>Keep up the great work.</i>

252
00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:51,624
{\an8}<i>-Love you, Josh.</i>
- Oh my goodness!

253
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:53,457
Josh, stand up.
No.

254
00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:55,707
Please. No, I insist.
- No, no, no.

255
00:12:59,083 --> 00:13:00,665
Okay!

256
00:13:08,958 --> 00:13:12,207
Why does he always have to outdo me?
What are you trying to prove, dude?

257
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:15,582
And he lists his 19-million-dollar house,
doesn't even mention it to me?

258
00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:18,290
- Why don't you just tell him?
- I'm not gonna beg for his business.

259
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,957
It's exactly what he wants.
All he ever does is fuck with me.

260
00:13:20,958 --> 00:13:23,249
"Hey, your face.
What happened?"

261
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:26,457
"You gain weight? You look good though."
You <i>do</i> look good.

262
00:13:26,458 --> 00:13:28,832
He meant it in a mean way.

263
00:13:28,833 --> 00:13:31,249
And he acts like
he's never heard of <i>NYC Hustlers</i>.

264
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:34,582
You're friends with all these celebrities,
but you've never heard of Hayley Boyajian?

265
00:13:34,583 --> 00:13:35,707
Not buying it, bro.

266
00:13:35,708 --> 00:13:38,040
At some point,
giving that much money isn't helping.

267
00:13:38,041 --> 00:13:40,290
Think of all the tax issues
you have to untangle now.

268
00:13:40,291 --> 00:13:41,790
I'd hate to be in your shoes.

269
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:43,374
Are we still talking about this?

270
00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:45,875
Nope. You're right. I'm done.

271
00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:50,665
Aw... Maxine.

272
00:13:50,666 --> 00:13:53,207
Aw... Who's a pretty girl?

273
00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:55,374
I thought we agreed
no more random disabled pets.

274
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:57,082
Well, she was on a kill list.

275
00:13:57,083 --> 00:13:59,499
Besides, it's only temporary.
The adoption event is tomorrow.

276
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:00,999
You're spreading yourself too thin.

277
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,665
- Haven't you done enough?
- Not really.

278
00:14:02,666 --> 00:14:04,332
We have to put on all these lavish events

279
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:06,540
to convince these rich assholes
to give us their money.

280
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,999
But when I add up the costs, it feels like
we're barely making an impact.

281
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,707
Hey! Knock it off!

282
00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:13,832
Gosh. You're scaring Maxine.

283
00:14:13,833 --> 00:14:16,540
- I told you not to text her.
- You weren't making a move, bro.

284
00:14:16,541 --> 00:14:18,082
What is going on with you two?

285
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:20,415
Okay, this hot girl just transferred
from Lawrence, and--

286
00:14:20,416 --> 00:14:23,124
I met her first, and we were vibing.
Shane knew I was into her.

287
00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:26,207
The only reason she's talking to you
is to get to me, obviously.

288
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:28,999
Isn't it possible
she likes Cory and not you?

289
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,874
- Dad, Mom's having a stroke.
- Shane, your mother's not having a stroke.

290
00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:33,707
She just has a soft spot for underdogs.

291
00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:35,540
Mm...
- Aw, underdogs.

292
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,582
Enough.

293
00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:38,290
- Okay.
- Cory, come here.

294
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:41,124
As you know, my brother bullied me
a lot too growing up.

295
00:14:41,125 --> 00:14:43,040
I used to bring girls home all the time.

296
00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:45,749
In the morning, I'd see them
tiptoeing out of Josh's bedroom

297
00:14:45,750 --> 00:14:47,249
after a night of expert lovemaking.

298
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:48,749
I know. You talk about it a lot.

299
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:52,624
Yeah, but did I let his antagonism
and innate sexual ability defeat me?

300
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:55,832
No. I used it as fuel
to make myself bigger and stronger.

301
00:14:55,833 --> 00:14:58,915
You wanna punch above your weight,
gotta learn to push beyond your limits.

302
00:14:58,916 --> 00:14:59,832
Okay, pal?

303
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:01,165
- Yeah.
- All right.

304
00:15:02,958 --> 00:15:04,457
Hmm. Hello?

305
00:15:04,458 --> 00:15:05,707
You should be thanking me.

306
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:07,583
This is he.
- I'm helping you out.

307
00:15:08,083 --> 00:15:10,207
- Oh my God. Is he okay?
- Sh! Sh!

308
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:12,749
Of course. I'll be right over.

309
00:15:15,333 --> 00:15:18,207
That was the hospital.
My brother was in a car accident.

310
00:15:18,208 --> 00:15:19,874
<i>Paging Dr. Shaw.</i>

311
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:22,415
It's okay. He's a fighter.
He's gonna pull through.

312
00:15:22,416 --> 00:15:24,582
- Are you Rudd Landy?
- That's me.

313
00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:26,249
- Is my brother okay?
- He will be.

314
00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:28,082
It was quite an accident.
He was very lucky.

315
00:15:28,083 --> 00:15:31,040
- Is he awake? Can we see him?
- He's sedated but should be up shortly.

316
00:15:31,041 --> 00:15:32,082
- Okay.
- Follow me.

317
00:15:35,375 --> 00:15:36,457
Who the fuck is this?

318
00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:38,540
- That's not his brother.
- Are you sure?

319
00:15:38,541 --> 00:15:41,665
I'm sorry. There must be a mistake.
We're looking for Josh Landy.

320
00:15:41,666 --> 00:15:44,040
Not Marcus Pinchel?

321
00:15:44,041 --> 00:15:45,374
Marcus who?

322
00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:49,749
It says right here,
"Please contact Rudd Landy, big brother."

323
00:15:50,791 --> 00:15:52,375
Uh...

324
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:29,499
<i>- ♪ Just the two of us ♪
- ♪ Just the two of us... ♪</i>

325
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:30,499
All right, Marcus.

326
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:33,749
This game is called Horse,
so if you miss a shot, that's an H.

327
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:35,750
- Got it?
- Yeah.

328
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,040
Oh shit.

329
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,625
That looked pretty painful.
Are you sure you're all right?

330
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:47,666
No one's ever asked me that before.

331
00:16:48,291 --> 00:16:49,374
Hey, do me a favor.

332
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:52,374
Don't tell anyone you got hurt with me,
or I could get in trouble.

333
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:54,958
They won't notice. I get hurt a lot.

334
00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:58,582
- Do you want your hat back?
- No, I'm good. You can keep it.

335
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:00,833
We're brothers now, right?

336
00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:02,749
Brothers for life?

337
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:03,874
Brothers for life.

338
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:06,082
<i>- ♪ We can make it if we try ♪
- ♪ Ha-ha! ♪</i>

339
00:17:06,083 --> 00:17:07,915
Rudd.

340
00:17:07,916 --> 00:17:08,999
- Rudd!
- What?

341
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,916
What is going on, and who is this person?

342
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,624
I don't believe it,
but I think that's my Little Brother

343
00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:15,249
from a charity thing in high school.

344
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:18,499
You were a Big Brother?
You never told me you did that.

345
00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,624
I thought it would look good
on a college application.

346
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,124
I think we hung out five times.

347
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,999
You obviously had a big effect on him
if he asked them to contact you.

348
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,332
We barely know each other.
You don't think that's odd?

349
00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:29,958
I haven't spoken to him in 30 years.
Brother?

350
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:31,624
Is that you?

351
00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:33,332
Say something.

352
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:35,166
- What do you want me to say?
- Anything.

353
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:40,999
Hey, bud. How you feeling?

354
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,499
Is that really you,

355
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:46,457
or are you an angel disguising itself
as the person I trusted the most

356
00:17:46,458 --> 00:17:48,499
in order to help me cross over?

357
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,790
I don't wanna die!
- No, no! Whoa! Hey, it's me! It's me!

358
00:17:51,791 --> 00:17:53,832
Oh, of course it is.

359
00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:55,957
And here I was wondering if you'd changed.

360
00:17:56,875 --> 00:18:00,290
So, uh... what have you been up to
all these years?

361
00:18:00,291 --> 00:18:01,207
Well, I...

362
00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:05,290
I've just got out of a long-term gig
and had some free time on my hands.

363
00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:09,707
So, naturally, I came to see big bro.
And to meet your lovely family.

364
00:18:09,708 --> 00:18:11,915
But this lovely I did not expect.

365
00:18:11,916 --> 00:18:13,499
She is beautiful.

366
00:18:13,500 --> 00:18:14,957
Out of your league, dawg.

367
00:18:14,958 --> 00:18:17,083
- Yeah.
- I mean, you fucked up.

368
00:18:17,583 --> 00:18:19,458
You didn't fuck down. You fucked up.

369
00:18:20,166 --> 00:18:22,832
It's nice to finally meet you.
You are one lucky lady.

370
00:18:22,833 --> 00:18:25,332
This man right here, absolute gem.

371
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:28,290
This is the most generous, caring man
I've ever met.

372
00:18:28,291 --> 00:18:31,165
And even with
all those big-ass, rippling muscles,

373
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:33,957
the strongest one is his heart.

374
00:18:33,958 --> 00:18:35,707
Oh my God. He is so sweet.

375
00:18:35,708 --> 00:18:37,540
There he is.

376
00:18:37,541 --> 00:18:40,165
Oh, full house.

377
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:42,582
Don't mind me.
I just have to change his bag and bedpan.

378
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:44,832
And let's get that catheter out.

379
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:47,040
Thank you, Nurse Sonj.
You're too good to me.

380
00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:49,124
Oh, someone's been staying hydrated.

381
00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:50,874
Guilty.
- Okay.

382
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:53,749
Uh, Deirdre, don't we have to
pick the boys up, bring 'em to something?

383
00:18:53,750 --> 00:18:55,165
Oh God. The boys!
- No.

384
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:56,666
How are Shane and Cory?

385
00:18:57,166 --> 00:18:59,124
- You know their names?
- Are you kidding?

386
00:18:59,125 --> 00:19:01,415
Been dying to uncle-down
with those knuckleheads.

387
00:19:01,416 --> 00:19:02,332
Yeah.

388
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:04,124
Too bad you're stuck here.

389
00:19:04,125 --> 00:19:06,457
Not for long.
He'll be discharged this afternoon.

390
00:19:06,458 --> 00:19:09,374
- The doctor said he had skull damage.
- Oh, that was there already.

391
00:19:09,375 --> 00:19:11,415
One of my foster dads
got ripped one night,

392
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:14,249
put me in an old washing machine,
then rolled it down a hill.

393
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:16,915
I got a huge dent up here.
It's like a cupholder.

394
00:19:16,916 --> 00:19:19,833
Oh my God. You have been through so much.

395
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,249
Do you have somewhere you can stay
until you get back on your feet?

396
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:25,249
Not really, but when you're a foster kid,

397
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:27,832
you get used to making a home
out of wherever you can find it.

398
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:30,083
But you're not a foster kid.
You're like 40.

399
00:19:30,666 --> 00:19:32,457
Maybe you can stay with us
for a night or two.

400
00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:34,665
That's a fantastic idea.
- Mm-hmm.

401
00:19:34,666 --> 00:19:36,833
- Could you give us a minute, please?
- Sure.

402
00:19:38,125 --> 00:19:39,499
I love their energy.

403
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:42,332
What are you doing? That's not
a puppy from a kill shelter, okay?

404
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,707
He obviously doesn't have
anyone else to turn to.

405
00:19:44,708 --> 00:19:47,832
- He drove all the way here to see you.
- That's not a red flag for you?

406
00:19:47,833 --> 00:19:50,665
What are we supposed to do?
He's got nowhere else to go.

407
00:19:50,666 --> 00:19:54,540
Before we know it, he'll be renting out
each of his holes to afford a motel room.

408
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,499
I hear you,
but the timing couldn't be worse.

409
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:57,915
I start shooting tomorrow.

410
00:19:57,916 --> 00:20:00,375
Come on. It's only for one night.

411
00:20:00,958 --> 00:20:02,457
Good Lord.
- One night.

412
00:20:02,458 --> 00:20:05,000
Take a deep breath.

413
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:06,499
Oh shit!

414
00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:07,540
Thank God.

415
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:10,749
Ugh!
- That is a wrap on Catheter Zeta-Jones.

416
00:20:10,750 --> 00:20:12,082
Phew!

417
00:20:12,083 --> 00:20:14,082
That actually cleared my sinuses.

418
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,832
Don't worry.
You won't have to mess with all this.

419
00:20:17,833 --> 00:20:21,332
Although, he may need to use a bedpan
for a few days, until his bowels solidify.

420
00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:22,290
- Perfect.
- Right.

421
00:20:22,291 --> 00:20:25,999
- I have a few questions about his care.
- Oh, sure. I'll see you, guys.

422
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,124
Yeah.

423
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:31,082
Nurse Sonj is the best, isn't she?
Between us, I think she wants to hit this.

424
00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:34,290
- Good for you, bud.
- Whoo! Tap this ass like a double IPA.

425
00:20:34,291 --> 00:20:35,957
I heard you the first time.

426
00:20:35,958 --> 00:20:37,999
- I'll let you know if it happens.
- Not necessary.

427
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,832
Oh, I know, but I got you.

428
00:20:39,833 --> 00:20:40,915
Bro code.

429
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:47,415
Man, I can't believe
getting my shit rocked

430
00:20:47,416 --> 00:20:50,249
by a dump truck ended up being
the greatest thing that happened to me.

431
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,832
Aw. We are happy to help.

432
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:53,125
Aren't we, Rudd?

433
00:20:53,833 --> 00:20:57,332
Hold up. This is your ride?
I've never been in one of these before.

434
00:20:57,333 --> 00:20:58,332
Don't touch the glass.

435
00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,207
- Oh.
- Matter of fact, don't touch anything.

436
00:21:00,208 --> 00:21:02,332
I bought this
with my first big commission check.

437
00:21:02,333 --> 00:21:06,625
- So it's more than just a car to me.
- Understood. Let me create some distance.

438
00:21:07,708 --> 00:21:10,165
- No! Hey! What the... Hey!
- Oh no. Sorry about that. Let me just...

439
00:21:10,166 --> 00:21:11,415
Oh!

440
00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:14,540
I got a friend at AutoZone.

441
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:16,083
- He'll buff it right out.
- It's okay.

442
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,958
No way.
This is your neighborhood?

443
00:21:21,458 --> 00:21:24,874
What? Are you shitting me?
Dude, this is your house?

444
00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:26,915
Rudd found it
before it was even listed.

445
00:21:26,916 --> 00:21:29,332
Of course he did. He's a realtor.

446
00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:31,207
The most pimp job there is.

447
00:21:31,208 --> 00:21:33,790
Bus bench ads. Open houses.

448
00:21:33,791 --> 00:21:36,249
Plowing "For Sale" signs into the lawn

449
00:21:36,250 --> 00:21:39,040
with those ballistic missiles
you call arms.

450
00:21:39,041 --> 00:21:42,207
I am so damn proud of you, dude. Ah!

451
00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:46,165
Hey, you think you could teach me?
I wanna learn from you, <i>senpai.</i>

452
00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:49,290
It's not that easy.
It took me years just to pass the exam.

453
00:21:49,291 --> 00:21:52,457
You don't have to do a thing.
Just let me watch and absorb.

454
00:21:52,458 --> 00:21:54,165
- I'm an active learner.
- Yeah.

455
00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:55,750
You could teach him a thing or two.

456
00:21:58,041 --> 00:22:00,250
You know what, D?
I got Marcus. Why don't you go on in?

457
00:22:00,750 --> 00:22:01,582
Okay.

458
00:22:05,875 --> 00:22:10,124
Time to learn real estate
from the master. Limbo!

459
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:14,957
Ouch.

460
00:22:14,958 --> 00:22:16,915
Hurt a little bit.

461
00:22:16,916 --> 00:22:19,208
Beautiful rakes.

462
00:22:20,333 --> 00:22:21,165
Rudd?

463
00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:23,707
You there?

464
00:22:23,708 --> 00:22:24,666
Oh.

465
00:22:31,916 --> 00:22:33,165
Why'd you come here?

466
00:22:33,166 --> 00:22:34,332
What do you mean?

467
00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:36,665
You expect me to believe
you had no one else to call?

468
00:22:36,666 --> 00:22:39,665
What is this, some straight money grab?
If so, name your price.

469
00:22:39,666 --> 00:22:40,790
For what?

470
00:22:40,791 --> 00:22:43,540
For you to jump directly into an Uber
and not come inside.

471
00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:45,999
You can't honestly think
we're brothers, right?

472
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,165
What about our emails?

473
00:22:47,166 --> 00:22:49,707
- What emails?
- Okay, now I know you're fucking with me.

474
00:22:49,708 --> 00:22:51,207
- Listen to me.
- Ah!

475
00:22:51,208 --> 00:22:52,749
- You're gonna go inside, okay?
- Yeah.

476
00:22:52,750 --> 00:22:55,083
You're gonna say,
"Thank you. No, thank you."

477
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,999
You remembered you have to
spend time with your actual family

478
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,541
instead of your pretend one.

479
00:23:00,125 --> 00:23:01,665
Shane! Cory!

480
00:23:01,666 --> 00:23:03,999
There's someone we'd like you to meet.

481
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,374
This is
your dad's Little Brother, Marcus.

482
00:23:06,375 --> 00:23:09,290
The boys. Get in here, you two.

483
00:23:09,291 --> 00:23:10,290
Come on.

484
00:23:15,875 --> 00:23:17,790
- Okay.
- Uh, who is this guy?

485
00:23:17,791 --> 00:23:19,665
I'm so confused.

486
00:23:19,666 --> 00:23:21,499
Yeah, I didn't know
you had a little brother.

487
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:24,165
That term is being used rather loosely,
but that's okay.

488
00:23:24,166 --> 00:23:25,666
How long is he in town for?

489
00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,207
Well, actually, I think I better head out.

490
00:23:31,208 --> 00:23:33,582
Wow. Already? You just got here.

491
00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:36,083
I thought you said
you had nowhere else to go.

492
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:37,707
You're right.

493
00:23:37,708 --> 00:23:39,874
I did say that.

494
00:23:39,875 --> 00:23:41,915
Then I realized
I should be with my real family

495
00:23:41,916 --> 00:23:43,708
instead of my pretend one.

496
00:23:44,416 --> 00:23:47,333
Did Rudd tell you to say that?
How much did he offer you?

497
00:23:47,958 --> 00:23:50,124
To be fair,
we never quite landed on a number.

498
00:23:50,125 --> 00:23:51,457
Yeah, just ignore him.

499
00:23:51,458 --> 00:23:54,707
He's got a lot on his plate right now.
It has nothing to do with you.

500
00:23:54,708 --> 00:23:56,707
You know, I was sensing
a little bit of that.

501
00:23:56,708 --> 00:24:00,374
Boys, grab some spare bedsheets
and a pillow for your uncle Marcus.

502
00:24:00,375 --> 00:24:02,832
Oh my God. I'm Uncle Marcus!

503
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:07,082
Hey. We are gonna get to the bottom
of whatever's bothering you, bro.

504
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,165
I'm starting to think it's no accident
that I showed up when I did.

505
00:24:11,166 --> 00:24:13,957
Ow!

506
00:24:15,125 --> 00:24:16,207
Uh...

507
00:24:16,208 --> 00:24:18,749
That's my boot you're feeling.
I'm not erect.

508
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:20,499
Why is this thing so slippery?

509
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:23,957
Oh, I told Nurse Sonj to go heavy
on the Vaseline for my wounds,

510
00:24:23,958 --> 00:24:25,332
and it got all over the place.

511
00:24:25,333 --> 00:24:26,457
Whoa!

512
00:24:28,416 --> 00:24:30,124
Whoa! Oh shit!

513
00:24:32,333 --> 00:24:33,415
Ow.

514
00:24:33,416 --> 00:24:35,457
We just had to let him
stay in <i>my</i> office.

515
00:24:35,458 --> 00:24:38,832
You couldn't even get him up the stairs.
He'll be safer down there anyway.

516
00:24:38,833 --> 00:24:39,874
Oh, will he?

517
00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:41,290
What happened to the guy I married

518
00:24:41,291 --> 00:24:43,415
who said "the only thing
that matters is family"?

519
00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:46,665
Yeah, family I'm related to.
He's not my actual brother.

520
00:24:46,666 --> 00:24:47,749
Why are you so upset?

521
00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:49,665
Maybe he came back into your life
for a reason.

522
00:24:49,666 --> 00:24:50,790
Or maybe I'm upset

523
00:24:50,791 --> 00:24:52,999
'cause there's a stranger
sleeping in our house.

524
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,249
And when I was carrying him up the stairs,
he said he wasn't erect.

525
00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:59,624
- But he definitely was.
- Well, he's staying. Deal with it.

526
00:24:59,625 --> 00:25:01,082
I can't afford to deal with it.

527
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:03,832
I have to be on camera tomorrow,
and now I'm all stressed out.

528
00:25:03,833 --> 00:25:06,082
- You were already stressed out.
- You think?

529
00:25:06,083 --> 00:25:08,207
I mean, it's only my entire reputation

530
00:25:08,208 --> 00:25:10,457
and everything I've ever worked for
on the line.

531
00:25:10,458 --> 00:25:11,416
Whatever.

532
00:25:12,791 --> 00:25:16,582
Okay, maybe this Marcus stuff
is just dredging up some old feelings.

533
00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:18,749
Like whatever's going on
between you and Josh.

534
00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:20,165
I'm turning on red mode, Deirdre.

535
00:25:20,166 --> 00:25:21,416
Good night.

536
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:42,375
<i>Rudd and Deirdre,</i>

537
00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:45,958
<i>today is the beginning
of a beautiful journey.</i>

538
00:25:46,875 --> 00:25:49,290
<i>You've found in each other not only love,</i>

539
00:25:49,291 --> 00:25:52,915
<i>but trust, respect and joy.</i>

540
00:25:52,916 --> 00:25:55,166
<i>As you step into
this new chapter together,</i>

541
00:25:55,791 --> 00:25:59,749
<i>may your days be filled with laughter,
your hearts with kindness...</i>

542
00:25:59,750 --> 00:26:01,915
Hey. Sorry.

543
00:26:01,916 --> 00:26:04,790
- Am I being too loud?
- No, you're fine. You're fine.

544
00:26:04,791 --> 00:26:07,707
<i>It is my absolute honor...</i>
- You're watching our wedding video.

545
00:26:07,708 --> 00:26:10,999
Yeah, I couldn't sleep.
I hope I'm not overstepping.

546
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,457
I haven't seen this in years.

547
00:26:15,208 --> 00:26:17,332
Look at my hair.

548
00:26:17,333 --> 00:26:18,624
Oh, it's beautiful.

549
00:26:18,625 --> 00:26:20,999
The whole thing is so fucking beautiful.

550
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,749
It was a killer wedding.

551
00:26:22,750 --> 00:26:24,957
No, it's more than that.
It's your love.

552
00:26:24,958 --> 00:26:27,500
It's infectious.
You can see it on everyone's face.

553
00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:31,791
You guys found it,
the thing we're all looking for.

554
00:26:32,916 --> 00:26:34,375
We were so happy then.

555
00:26:34,875 --> 00:26:38,750
Uh-oh. I'm picking up on a past tense.

556
00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:41,666
Now I'm feeling tense.

557
00:26:42,166 --> 00:26:44,749
- Everything okay with you two?
- Oh.

558
00:26:44,750 --> 00:26:48,374
It's... It is late.
You do not wanna hear about this.

559
00:26:48,375 --> 00:26:50,290
Yeah, you're right.
I don't wanna hear about it.

560
00:26:50,291 --> 00:26:52,540
I <i>need</i> to hear about it.

561
00:26:52,541 --> 00:26:55,790
Come on, girl. This is a safe space.

562
00:26:56,875 --> 00:26:58,291
I don't know.

563
00:26:58,791 --> 00:27:01,750
You know, Rudd's just...

564
00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:04,749
He's so focused on this reality show
that he's doing.

565
00:27:04,750 --> 00:27:06,874
- It's all that he ever talks about.
- Uh-huh.

566
00:27:06,875 --> 00:27:09,874
I think growing up in his brother's shadow
really did a number on him.

567
00:27:09,875 --> 00:27:12,665
I see. Complicated dynamic there.

568
00:27:12,666 --> 00:27:14,458
Mm! Yeah, I just...

569
00:27:15,875 --> 00:27:17,874
I want my husband back.

570
00:27:17,875 --> 00:27:20,124
Yeah. And let me guess.

571
00:27:20,125 --> 00:27:23,665
It's been a minute since you and Rudd
have taken a trip down to the boneyard.

572
00:27:23,666 --> 00:27:24,833
Oh.

573
00:27:25,375 --> 00:27:27,082
What makes you say that?

574
00:27:27,083 --> 00:27:28,457
In my experience,

575
00:27:28,458 --> 00:27:31,666
nothing kills a man's libido faster
than feelings of insecurity.

576
00:27:32,916 --> 00:27:33,833
Okay.

577
00:27:34,666 --> 00:27:36,458
I guess it has been a while.

578
00:27:36,958 --> 00:27:39,915
But it's not all his fault.
I have been busy too.

579
00:27:39,916 --> 00:27:41,582
Sure.

580
00:27:41,583 --> 00:27:44,749
But is it possible
that Rudd being so distracted

581
00:27:44,750 --> 00:27:47,832
has left a void that you're trying to fill
with your own projects?

582
00:27:47,833 --> 00:27:51,166
Dedicating yourself to being in service
of everyone but yourself?

583
00:27:52,916 --> 00:27:55,041
I never thought about it that way.

584
00:27:56,791 --> 00:27:58,875
You seem to know a lot about this stuff.

585
00:27:59,625 --> 00:28:01,749
Yeah. Well, the, uh...

586
00:28:01,750 --> 00:28:03,999
...apartment complex
I was living in before this

587
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,624
happened to have a lot of therapists.

588
00:28:05,625 --> 00:28:06,624
Ah.

589
00:28:06,625 --> 00:28:08,999
And when they get home from work,
HIPAA be damned.

590
00:28:10,291 --> 00:28:14,957
But I'm just glad I got here when I did.
Our man is hurting right now.

591
00:28:14,958 --> 00:28:17,665
He feels like he has to pretend
to be something he's not

592
00:28:17,666 --> 00:28:19,040
just to be worthy of our love.

593
00:28:19,041 --> 00:28:21,332
Yeah, he does seem to be in a lot of pain.

594
00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:23,332
I'm gonna get the old Rudd back

595
00:28:23,333 --> 00:28:27,415
and reignite that beautiful spark
if it's the last thing I do, honey.

596
00:28:28,666 --> 00:28:31,666
Now...
...I hope you do not mind.

597
00:28:32,166 --> 00:28:36,249
I looked in the fridge earlier,
and I saw a heavenly white.

598
00:28:36,250 --> 00:28:37,874
- Oh.
- Not unlike yourself.

599
00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:40,083
- Oh.
- Madame?

600
00:28:41,041 --> 00:28:42,415
Yes, please.

601
00:28:42,416 --> 00:28:43,666
As you wish.

602
00:28:47,125 --> 00:28:48,625
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

603
00:28:53,291 --> 00:28:55,915
Mm. This pumpkin quiche is next-level.

604
00:28:55,916 --> 00:28:59,624
Thanks, Cory. It's actually
my third foster dad's recipe.

605
00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:03,415
It's all I have to remember him by
after he died on 9/11

606
00:29:03,416 --> 00:29:05,250
in an unrelated casino fire.

607
00:29:06,666 --> 00:29:08,583
Okay, we gotta go, dipshit.

608
00:29:10,541 --> 00:29:12,457
- Morning, bro.
- Yeah, morning.

609
00:29:12,458 --> 00:29:15,082
I see you helped yourself to my clothes.

610
00:29:15,083 --> 00:29:18,874
Uh, is that okay? You have my word.
I will wash them before I leave.

611
00:29:18,875 --> 00:29:20,207
Oh, that's not necessary.

612
00:29:20,208 --> 00:29:21,957
Oh no, 1,000 percent is.

613
00:29:21,958 --> 00:29:26,415
I have a medical condition
where my sweat smells like cat piss.

614
00:29:26,416 --> 00:29:30,624
You know what? You can keep 'em.
- Thank you, cutie. Go off, queen.

615
00:29:30,625 --> 00:29:32,874
See you boys later.
- Hey, where are you going?

616
00:29:32,875 --> 00:29:33,874
The adoption event.

617
00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:36,040
I told you about it yesterday.
It's on the calendar.

618
00:29:36,041 --> 00:29:38,124
No. What about him?
This is my first day of shooting.

619
00:29:38,125 --> 00:29:41,415
Well, Marcus actually had
a <i>really</i> good idea.

620
00:29:41,416 --> 00:29:44,540
I just figured, since you said
you'd teach me real estate,

621
00:29:44,541 --> 00:29:45,915
I could shadow you today.

622
00:29:45,916 --> 00:29:46,999
No.

623
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,165
No, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

624
00:29:49,166 --> 00:29:52,249
- You're worried I'll get in the way.
- That's one of my many concerns, yeah.

625
00:29:52,250 --> 00:29:55,249
All right, I gotta go.
You guys figure it out. Break a leg.

626
00:29:55,250 --> 00:29:57,457
Nothing to figure out. He's not coming.

627
00:29:57,458 --> 00:29:59,540
If you really don't want me there,
I respect that.

628
00:29:59,541 --> 00:30:02,582
- The last thing I wanna be is a burden.
- So nice of you to understand that.

629
00:30:02,583 --> 00:30:04,790
Yeah, I can just kick it around here.
Not a problem.

630
00:30:04,791 --> 00:30:07,416
I'm sure I can find
something to get into.

631
00:30:08,041 --> 00:30:10,624
Oh shit! I left my quiche in the oven.

632
00:30:10,625 --> 00:30:12,499
Goddamn it! Oh!

633
00:30:13,458 --> 00:30:15,832
Fire in the hole!

634
00:30:15,833 --> 00:30:18,540
Whoa!

635
00:30:19,583 --> 00:30:20,999
Suck it, bitch!

636
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:21,999
Whoo!

637
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:23,999
Almost burned the entire house down.

638
00:30:25,041 --> 00:30:26,082
Could you imagine?

639
00:30:29,541 --> 00:30:31,832
The Big fucking Apple, dawg!

640
00:30:31,833 --> 00:30:34,082
What up, New York City?!

641
00:30:34,083 --> 00:30:36,832
Whoo!

642
00:30:36,833 --> 00:30:38,540
Yeah!

643
00:30:38,541 --> 00:30:39,874
Christ. Get in here!

644
00:30:39,875 --> 00:30:41,707
Holy shit, dude.

645
00:30:41,708 --> 00:30:44,957
- Is this really my life?
- I was wondering the same thing.

646
00:30:44,958 --> 00:30:47,541
Hey! We're near my old neighborhood, bro.

647
00:30:48,041 --> 00:30:51,207
We should swing by the basketball court.
You still owe me a rematch.

648
00:30:51,208 --> 00:30:54,915
- I have no idea what you're talking about.
- Don't pretend you forgot, bitch.

649
00:30:54,916 --> 00:30:56,749
Ow! I'm driving a car!

650
00:30:59,083 --> 00:31:00,707
Hey, I owe you an apology.

651
00:31:00,708 --> 00:31:02,957
I've just been so focused
on my own mental health,

652
00:31:02,958 --> 00:31:04,540
I took my mind off of your needs.

653
00:31:04,541 --> 00:31:06,915
Has something happened recently
that triggered some stress?

654
00:31:06,916 --> 00:31:08,249
Yeah, this.

655
00:31:08,250 --> 00:31:10,665
- You.
- Yeah, but it's more than that, isn't it?

656
00:31:10,666 --> 00:31:13,791
I got the sense from Deirdre
you've been a little distracted lately.

657
00:31:14,291 --> 00:31:15,832
- She told you that?
- No.

658
00:31:15,833 --> 00:31:18,457
She confided in me
because she cares about you.

659
00:31:18,458 --> 00:31:19,374
What'd she say?

660
00:31:19,375 --> 00:31:23,125
She implied you guys might be having
some problems in the sack.

661
00:31:24,041 --> 00:31:25,040
Hey, I get it.

662
00:31:25,041 --> 00:31:28,540
If I had as much going on in my life
as you do, I'd be gummy-worming too.

663
00:31:28,541 --> 00:31:30,582
- Pew.
- Nobody's gummy-worming, all right?

664
00:31:30,583 --> 00:31:32,832
Whatever the problem is,
I promise, it's in your head.

665
00:31:32,833 --> 00:31:34,915
Your penis is probably
a totally normal size

666
00:31:34,916 --> 00:31:37,457
and it just looks tiny
next to your massive body.

667
00:31:37,458 --> 00:31:40,916
You know, even if I was too distracted
to have sex with my wife, which I'm not,

668
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:42,707
but if I was, it's just...

669
00:31:42,708 --> 00:31:45,332
...'cause I want Deirdre
to have the best life possible.

670
00:31:45,333 --> 00:31:46,957
To do that, I gotta work twice as hard.

671
00:31:46,958 --> 00:31:49,540
Rudd, I love you,
but you're a freaking dumbass.

672
00:31:49,541 --> 00:31:52,124
Deirdre doesn't care
about that materialistic shit.

673
00:31:52,125 --> 00:31:56,207
You need to stop being so hard on yourself
and start getting hard for your wife.

674
00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,207
Just set aside some time for a date night

675
00:31:58,208 --> 00:32:00,707
and book her on the first flight
to Poundtown.

676
00:32:00,708 --> 00:32:02,874
Take a cab to Boneville.

677
00:32:02,875 --> 00:32:05,624
Or a rickshaw to Sexburg.

678
00:32:06,916 --> 00:32:09,791
Ah-ha! There he is.
There's the Rudd I remember.

679
00:32:10,291 --> 00:32:12,915
I really appreciate
you opening up to me like that.

680
00:32:12,916 --> 00:32:15,290
I'm not opening up.
That is not what's happening here.

681
00:32:15,291 --> 00:32:16,207
Joshy!

682
00:32:16,208 --> 00:32:18,707
Dude, he's gonna be so surprised I'm here!

683
00:32:18,708 --> 00:32:21,790
- No, we don't... Fuck.
- Bro, what up?

684
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,915
- Rudd?
- Hey, Josh. So that is Marcus.

685
00:32:26,916 --> 00:32:30,082
He's my Little Brother
from a charity thing I did in high school.

686
00:32:30,083 --> 00:32:31,957
And he is here for some reason.

687
00:32:31,958 --> 00:32:34,540
Right. Okay.
Uh, just calling to check in.

688
00:32:34,541 --> 00:32:36,665
<i>You seemed a little off the other night.</i>

689
00:32:36,666 --> 00:32:38,832
I know you're under pressure
with this show and all,

690
00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:41,958
but taking care of your mental health
is really important, okay?

691
00:32:42,458 --> 00:32:45,082
You're getting to be that age
where some guys snap

692
00:32:45,083 --> 00:32:47,832
and annihilate their whole family
or whatever.

693
00:32:47,833 --> 00:32:50,832
You know what? Maybe I can get you
a session with my life coach.

694
00:32:50,833 --> 00:32:52,124
Well, ex-life coach.

695
00:32:52,125 --> 00:32:55,082
I'm basically coaching him now,
and it's been amazing.

696
00:32:55,083 --> 00:32:57,624
Hey, hey. Josh, Josh.
You know what? I'm fine. Okay?

697
00:32:57,625 --> 00:33:00,415
Honestly, all good over here.
You have no idea how good I'm doing.

698
00:33:00,416 --> 00:33:02,915
I'm actually on my way
to go shoot my big reality show.

699
00:33:02,916 --> 00:33:05,540
So everything's fine. Okay, bye.

700
00:33:15,666 --> 00:33:17,749
Ooh-hoo! Here we go.

701
00:33:21,833 --> 00:33:24,040
Hey. Don't worry.

702
00:33:24,041 --> 00:33:26,915
The camera's gonna love you
almost as much as I do.

703
00:33:26,916 --> 00:33:28,957
- Huh?
- Yeah, thanks. Just stay here, okay?

704
00:33:28,958 --> 00:33:30,415
- In the car?
- Yeah.

705
00:33:30,416 --> 00:33:33,041
- Is that even safe in this heat?
- I'll crack a window.

706
00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:35,207
Wh... what if there's an emergency?

707
00:33:35,208 --> 00:33:37,040
No matter what, do not leave this vehicle

708
00:33:37,041 --> 00:33:38,915
or touch anything
inside this vehicle, okay?

709
00:33:38,916 --> 00:33:40,500
Or I'll break your other leg.

710
00:33:41,041 --> 00:33:42,125
Ouch.

711
00:33:42,916 --> 00:33:45,040
Happy shoot day. You ready?

712
00:33:45,041 --> 00:33:47,832
We need to talk.
Uh-oh.

713
00:33:47,833 --> 00:33:48,749
Am I in trouble?

714
00:33:48,750 --> 00:33:49,874
Remember, a few years back,

715
00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:52,249
my Little Brother from that charity
emailed out of the blue.

716
00:33:52,250 --> 00:33:54,165
- And I told you to handle it?
- Yeah.

717
00:33:54,166 --> 00:33:56,540
You sent him the response
we send to all the wackos, right?

718
00:33:56,541 --> 00:33:57,666
I did.

719
00:33:58,333 --> 00:34:00,207
But then he wrote us back.

720
00:34:00,208 --> 00:34:02,416
You followed protocol
and deleted it, right?

721
00:34:04,458 --> 00:34:05,290
It was too sad.

722
00:34:05,291 --> 00:34:08,249
He was all alone, and it seemed like
you two were really close,

723
00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:11,457
so I wrote him back... as you.

724
00:34:11,458 --> 00:34:13,374
- Mia, you realize what you've done?
- I'm sorry.

725
00:34:13,375 --> 00:34:14,457
You were really busy,

726
00:34:14,458 --> 00:34:16,915
and I knew you wouldn't wanna
turn your back on him.

727
00:34:16,916 --> 00:34:19,207
- It seemed like he really needed you.
- Oh Jesus.

728
00:34:19,208 --> 00:34:22,165
He was going through a lot.
At the time, I was going through a lot.

729
00:34:22,166 --> 00:34:25,082
Remember my dad left my mom
for the guy in his Pilates class?

730
00:34:25,083 --> 00:34:28,582
I couldn't sleep for weeks,
and Marcus was there for me.

731
00:34:28,583 --> 00:34:31,749
- He's a really good listener.
- No wonder he thinks we're so close. Fuck!

732
00:34:31,750 --> 00:34:34,457
I didn't tell you 'cause I didn't want it
to interfere with the show.

733
00:34:34,458 --> 00:34:37,165
A little late for that.
He's in my fucking car as we speak.

734
00:34:37,166 --> 00:34:38,875
And I can't fucking get rid of him!

735
00:34:57,583 --> 00:34:59,540
What's up? I'm Kieran.

736
00:34:59,541 --> 00:35:02,207
Oh, hey. Rudd. Honored to meet you.
Big fan of your work.

737
00:35:02,208 --> 00:35:05,082
Aw, thanks, man. I'm excited for you.

738
00:35:05,083 --> 00:35:06,541
Big audition.

739
00:35:07,041 --> 00:35:10,207
Oh. No, I've actually been added
to the main cast already.

740
00:35:10,208 --> 00:35:11,541
Is that what they told you?

741
00:35:12,375 --> 00:35:14,665
Let me guess.
They shot a title sequence for you?

742
00:35:14,666 --> 00:35:15,999
Yeah.

743
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:19,207
Man, if I had a dollar
for every godforsaken soul

744
00:35:19,208 --> 00:35:21,374
that shot a title sequence
that never made it to air

745
00:35:21,375 --> 00:35:23,082
because they crapped out on day one,

746
00:35:23,083 --> 00:35:25,374
I could make an all-cash offer
on this brownstone.

747
00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:27,499
- Did you pick an angle at least?
- Angle?

748
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:30,165
Um, Lenore said she liked
the big dog edit for me.

749
00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:33,832
Unfortunately, we already have a big dog.
That's Hayley.

750
00:35:33,833 --> 00:35:36,624
Oh, you could go with
mysterious outsider

751
00:35:36,625 --> 00:35:38,915
who nobody knows which side they're on.

752
00:35:38,916 --> 00:35:41,624
That spot's been open
since Chase Greer had a mini stroke

753
00:35:41,625 --> 00:35:43,791
and then a regular stroke and then OD'd.

754
00:35:47,791 --> 00:35:49,290
Why did I drink so much coffee?

755
00:35:49,291 --> 00:35:51,833
Hoo! I gotta piss.

756
00:35:52,916 --> 00:35:54,124
It's already going away.

757
00:35:55,916 --> 00:35:57,165
Now it's back.

758
00:35:57,166 --> 00:35:59,415
Okay, everyone.

759
00:35:59,416 --> 00:36:01,124
Okay, so we're gonna start with the scene

760
00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:03,499
where Rudd and Kieran
are competing for this listing.

761
00:36:03,500 --> 00:36:05,624
- All right? Bunch of stars.
- Right. We're doing it--

762
00:36:05,625 --> 00:36:07,624
Excuse me. Um...
I just wanted to ask you guys.

763
00:36:07,625 --> 00:36:10,457
What about a catchphrase,
if I'm lucky enough to close the deal?

764
00:36:10,458 --> 00:36:11,666
I was thinking,

765
00:36:12,250 --> 00:36:13,457
"Mansion accomplished."

766
00:36:13,458 --> 00:36:16,457
"Manson accomplished." Why would you
reference Charles Manson?

767
00:36:16,458 --> 00:36:20,332
No. "Mansion accomplished."
It's usually like "mission accomplished."

768
00:36:20,333 --> 00:36:23,290
Oh. Oh my God. That's way worse.
Yeah.

769
00:36:23,291 --> 00:36:25,957
- I think... holster it.
- Let's just hold off on that for now.

770
00:36:25,958 --> 00:36:27,374
Okay.
Just for now.

771
00:36:27,375 --> 00:36:28,749
Cool, cool. No problem. Uh--

772
00:36:28,750 --> 00:36:30,374
- Let's try one, shall we?
- Rock and roll.

773
00:36:30,375 --> 00:36:32,665
All right, people.
We're making TV magic.

774
00:36:32,666 --> 00:36:33,749
Ready to roll.

775
00:36:33,750 --> 00:36:35,999
Trust me.

776
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,957
The mysterious outsider's the way to go.

777
00:36:37,958 --> 00:36:40,915
- Go for that in the first take?
- It might be the only take you get, man.

778
00:36:40,916 --> 00:36:42,500
And action.

779
00:36:43,083 --> 00:36:43,957
{\an8}Hey there.

780
00:36:43,958 --> 00:36:46,582
{\an8}- I'm Kieran from--
- Oh, I know who you are.

781
00:36:46,583 --> 00:36:47,499
{\an8}Big fan.

782
00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:49,040
Greetings.

783
00:36:49,041 --> 00:36:51,457
Rudd Landy. Big City Realty.

784
00:36:51,458 --> 00:36:55,250
You may not be familiar with me.
That's because I operate in the shadows.

785
00:36:56,250 --> 00:36:57,499
What the fuck?

786
00:36:57,500 --> 00:36:59,041
Life is weird.

787
00:36:59,750 --> 00:37:01,790
I used to pass by this house every day

788
00:37:01,791 --> 00:37:03,957
when I would take my dad
to his chemo treatments.

789
00:37:03,958 --> 00:37:07,249
Just the thought of getting to sell this
one day helped me get through it.

790
00:37:07,250 --> 00:37:09,582
I'm so inspired by the architecture.

791
00:37:09,583 --> 00:37:11,749
I never share information about my family.

792
00:37:11,750 --> 00:37:13,457
Okay. Let's cut there.

793
00:37:13,458 --> 00:37:16,249
- W... what's up? Was that okay?
- Well, it was...

794
00:37:16,250 --> 00:37:18,749
Huh. Well, we love that you tried that.

795
00:37:18,750 --> 00:37:20,499
And it was
definitely something.

796
00:37:20,500 --> 00:37:22,666
Let's do one
where you don't try something.

797
00:37:23,500 --> 00:37:25,874
Now it's coming like a wave.

798
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,665
Don't do it, Marcus. You know the rules.

799
00:37:29,666 --> 00:37:32,124
Don't touch anything.
Don't get out of the car.

800
00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:33,999
Is there a cup in here or something?

801
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,790
Big Gulp cup. Everyone has
a Big Gulp cup in their car.

802
00:37:38,583 --> 00:37:39,749
Fuck!

803
00:37:42,875 --> 00:37:44,832
Aha.

804
00:37:44,833 --> 00:37:48,457
It really was such a blessing
to see this beautiful piece of property.

805
00:37:48,458 --> 00:37:51,916
Yeah. It really is a masterwork
in both design and construction.

806
00:37:52,416 --> 00:37:55,291
That's something I know a lot about. Here.

807
00:37:56,333 --> 00:37:58,165
See my Porsche 911 out there?

808
00:37:58,166 --> 00:37:59,791
It's more than just a car to me.

809
00:38:00,291 --> 00:38:02,750
And I know this place
is more than just a house to you.

810
00:38:03,250 --> 00:38:05,832
All right. This is just
crazy enough to work.

811
00:38:05,833 --> 00:38:08,290
Here we... Oh my God. My neck.

812
00:38:08,291 --> 00:38:12,165
Just gotta get my penis
in the proper position.

813
00:38:14,541 --> 00:38:17,249
Ho-ho! Ho-ho! Ho!

814
00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:19,665
Victory!

815
00:38:19,666 --> 00:38:21,874
A car of that quality,
it's a great investment.

816
00:38:21,875 --> 00:38:25,290
Because anything that has value
truly appreciates over time.

817
00:38:25,291 --> 00:38:26,457
Just like this house.

818
00:38:26,458 --> 00:38:28,582
Ooh. That's a lot.

819
00:38:28,583 --> 00:38:30,582
Whoa! Oh no, no, no, no!

820
00:38:30,583 --> 00:38:31,665
Can't sto...

821
00:38:33,291 --> 00:38:34,707
Ah! It's up my nose!

822
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,540
The point is, you need an agent

823
00:38:39,541 --> 00:38:42,582
who understands
the real value of craftsmanship

824
00:38:42,583 --> 00:38:44,708
and sees your home
as more than just a place to live.

825
00:38:45,291 --> 00:38:47,624
A home is an extension of ourselves.

826
00:38:47,625 --> 00:38:49,874
You put your heart and soul in this place.

827
00:38:49,875 --> 00:38:54,082
Just like I did when I built my company
to be one of the top agencies in New York.

828
00:38:54,083 --> 00:38:55,749
These will be like a giant napkin.

829
00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:57,207
Ow! Okay.

830
00:38:57,208 --> 00:38:58,790
Okay. Nobody saw nothing.

831
00:38:58,791 --> 00:39:01,290
And I just rub like this.

832
00:39:01,291 --> 00:39:03,040
And...

833
00:39:06,125 --> 00:39:08,624
Oh, fuck me. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

834
00:39:08,625 --> 00:39:12,249
I know when you accept an offer, you put
a number on the value of your labor.

835
00:39:12,250 --> 00:39:14,999
And I promise I will--
Sorry. We should cut.

836
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,082
There's a guy pissing
all over the car out there.

837
00:39:17,083 --> 00:39:20,125
And he shattered the window.
A car drove by and ripped the door off.

838
00:39:20,625 --> 00:39:22,207
Oh my fucking God!

839
00:39:22,208 --> 00:39:24,958
Keep rolling. We can use this.

840
00:39:25,541 --> 00:39:26,499
Oh no.

841
00:39:26,500 --> 00:39:29,165
It's okay. Don't mind me.
I'm Rudd's little brother.

842
00:39:29,166 --> 00:39:30,165
Sorry to interrupt.

843
00:39:30,166 --> 00:39:32,749
I had a little emergency,
but we're all good now.

844
00:39:32,750 --> 00:39:34,999
Jesus Christ, Marcus,
what the hell did you do?

845
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,249
Wait. This is your brother?

846
00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:37,790
No, no, it's my Little Brother

847
00:39:37,791 --> 00:39:39,665
from a charity thing
I did a million years ago.

848
00:39:39,666 --> 00:39:41,499
Listen, Rudd, I can explain every--

849
00:39:42,833 --> 00:39:44,999
Fuck you!
- Whoa! Hit-and-run. Okay.

850
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:47,082
Holy shit.
I'm calling the police.

851
00:39:47,083 --> 00:39:49,749
Fucking e-bike.
- Here, put all your weight on me.

852
00:39:49,750 --> 00:39:51,207
I'm sorry. Who are you?

853
00:39:51,208 --> 00:39:53,582
I'm Mia, Rudd's assistant.

854
00:39:53,583 --> 00:39:57,290
Oh. Looks like we got something in common.
We both think Rudd's a fucking boss.

855
00:39:58,500 --> 00:39:59,624
- Oh.
- Ow!

856
00:39:59,625 --> 00:40:01,499
He seems fine. Let's just go back inside.

857
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:03,624
Oh no, wait a second.
Yeah, I'm all good.

858
00:40:03,625 --> 00:40:07,582
I, I could use maybe a Band-Aid
or a couple of napkins.

859
00:40:07,583 --> 00:40:09,207
Ah!
- That is a lot of blood!

860
00:40:09,208 --> 00:40:11,124
Uh, medic. Medic.
Whoa.

861
00:40:11,125 --> 00:40:13,582
This man's brains are exposed.
Enormous gash.

862
00:40:13,583 --> 00:40:14,832
Wow.
Oh no.

863
00:40:14,833 --> 00:40:16,124
My head's killing me.

864
00:40:16,125 --> 00:40:18,624
Are you sure you don't need
an ambulance or anything?

865
00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:21,957
Nah, as long as I got my big bro with me,
I'm all good.

866
00:40:21,958 --> 00:40:23,124
Right.

867
00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:24,999
Now, Marcus,
where did you say you're from?

868
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,457
He's had an accident. We should let him--
Whoo!

869
00:40:27,458 --> 00:40:30,290
I was a foster kid,
and I moved around a ton.

870
00:40:30,291 --> 00:40:32,415
Probably easier to tell you
where I'm not from.

871
00:40:32,416 --> 00:40:35,290
Sixteen foster families. Can you imagine?

872
00:40:35,291 --> 00:40:36,499
How'd you know that?

873
00:40:36,500 --> 00:40:38,957
Oh... I was just guessing.

874
00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:40,957
Uh, based on what Rudd told me.

875
00:40:40,958 --> 00:40:43,874
Anyway, then one day,
my life changes.

876
00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:45,749
The day I walked into the YMCA

877
00:40:45,750 --> 00:40:49,082
and signed up for
the Big Brothers, Little Brothers program

878
00:40:49,083 --> 00:40:51,833
and met this angel prince right here.

879
00:40:52,333 --> 00:40:55,707
And when he looked into my eyes
and told me we'd be brothers for life,

880
00:40:55,708 --> 00:40:58,415
I knew I'd never be alone
in this fucked-up world ever again.

881
00:41:01,791 --> 00:41:03,457
I'm sure it wasn't as bad as you think.

882
00:41:03,458 --> 00:41:05,457
Are you kidding me?
He ruined the whole thing!

883
00:41:05,458 --> 00:41:07,540
Total disaster. It was going great.

884
00:41:07,541 --> 00:41:09,332
Everybody was loving it.
Then he fucked me.

885
00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:11,415
I knew he was gonna fuck me,
and he fucked me.

886
00:41:11,416 --> 00:41:13,333
Okay, I hear you.

887
00:41:13,916 --> 00:41:15,165
- You do?
- Yes.

888
00:41:15,166 --> 00:41:16,124
I mean,

889
00:41:16,125 --> 00:41:19,665
the show is really important to you,
and you need our support right now.

890
00:41:19,666 --> 00:41:21,416
- Yes, I do.
- So come here.

891
00:41:21,916 --> 00:41:24,583
Come here. Come over here.

892
00:41:27,250 --> 00:41:28,250
Okay.

893
00:41:28,750 --> 00:41:32,082
All right, just... try to relax, okay?

894
00:41:32,083 --> 00:41:33,707
That's it.

895
00:41:33,708 --> 00:41:36,291
Look, I know I put a lot into this, okay?
It's just...

896
00:41:37,458 --> 00:41:39,875
You know, my whole life,
I've always felt like I...

897
00:41:41,250 --> 00:41:42,957
Like what?

898
00:41:42,958 --> 00:41:46,207
I don't even know how to say this.
Like... I was less than something.

899
00:41:46,208 --> 00:41:48,499
- Like I always have to prove myself.
- Oh my God.

900
00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:51,416
Rudd, you don't have to prove anything.

901
00:41:58,333 --> 00:42:00,040
Babe...

902
00:42:00,041 --> 00:42:02,290
Babe, just... just not right now, okay?

903
00:42:02,291 --> 00:42:03,333
Please.

904
00:42:04,166 --> 00:42:05,832
Are you sure?

905
00:42:05,833 --> 00:42:09,999
It's been a minute since we've taken
a trip down to the boneyard.

906
00:42:13,666 --> 00:42:15,915
Where'd you pick that one up?

907
00:42:15,916 --> 00:42:18,665
- What do you mean?
- I mean, that was his advice, wasn't it?

908
00:42:18,666 --> 00:42:21,374
From your little therapy session you had
in the middle of the night?

909
00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:23,540
- It doesn't matter whose advice it was.
- This guy.

910
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,582
This fucking maniac has
infiltrated our household!

911
00:42:25,583 --> 00:42:28,707
- Jesus. Calm down.
- What is he, our marriage counselor?

912
00:42:28,708 --> 00:42:31,915
I am not taking relationship advice
from him. You and I are fine.

913
00:42:31,916 --> 00:42:34,582
- Are we?
- Oh, I'm not doing this right now.

914
00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:35,832
I need to sweat this out.

915
00:42:35,833 --> 00:42:37,457
Can't we just talk about this?

916
00:42:37,458 --> 00:42:41,082
Why don't you talk about it with Marcus?
He seems to have it all figured out.

917
00:42:41,083 --> 00:42:43,499
Fuck.

918
00:43:01,875 --> 00:43:03,415
Yeah! Fuck me!

919
00:43:03,416 --> 00:43:05,082
I got ketamine from the doctor.

920
00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:07,624
I wanna try that so badly!
It's pretty good.

921
00:43:07,625 --> 00:43:10,832
Can you tell me I look like
Eva Longoria in <i>Desperate Housewives</i>?

922
00:43:10,833 --> 00:43:13,332
You look like Eva Longoria
in <i>Desperate Housewives</i>.

923
00:43:13,333 --> 00:43:15,166
Fuck! That's so hot!

924
00:43:16,291 --> 00:43:17,915
Hey, bro.

925
00:43:17,916 --> 00:43:19,290
We making too much noise?

926
00:43:19,291 --> 00:43:21,207
Uh... yes.

927
00:43:21,208 --> 00:43:23,249
Sorry. That's all me.
I'm a bit of a squealer.

928
00:43:23,250 --> 00:43:26,999
Oh. Yeah, you are.
Hey, you remember Nurse Sonj, right?

929
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:28,707
Sure do. Hey, Nurse Sonj.

930
00:43:28,708 --> 00:43:31,707
Hi, Rudd. Place is gorgeous.
Thanks for having us.

931
00:43:31,708 --> 00:43:34,624
And I forget.
Did you meet her boyfriend, Yayir?

932
00:43:34,625 --> 00:43:35,874
I don't believe I have.

933
00:43:35,875 --> 00:43:38,624
Hello. I like to watch.

934
00:43:38,625 --> 00:43:42,040
Yayir is being modest. He throws out
some pretty killer suggestions.

935
00:43:42,041 --> 00:43:46,207
If you and Deirdre ever wanna open up,
I'll put you in on an email thread.

936
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:49,790
- We'll try to keep it down.
- Oh, can't make any promises.

937
00:43:49,791 --> 00:43:51,332
Oh shit!

938
00:43:55,041 --> 00:43:56,082
Hon, wake up.

939
00:43:56,083 --> 00:43:58,790
Huh? Oh, now you wanna talk?

940
00:43:58,791 --> 00:44:01,790
Marcus is fucking Nurse Sonj
all over my office.

941
00:44:01,791 --> 00:44:02,707
What?

942
00:44:02,708 --> 00:44:04,499
If that's not enough,
her fucking boyfriend

943
00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:06,999
is just sitting there naked
on my fucking leather chair.

944
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:08,958
It's a threesome, or is he just watching?

945
00:44:09,458 --> 00:44:11,374
- That's your question?
- It's a big difference.

946
00:44:11,375 --> 00:44:13,124
Aren't they equally inappropriate?

947
00:44:13,125 --> 00:44:16,791
Think about what he's been through.
He's just trying to have a little fun.

948
00:44:17,291 --> 00:44:18,875
At least somebody is.

949
00:44:19,375 --> 00:44:20,416
Wow.

950
00:44:21,083 --> 00:44:22,166
Wow!

951
00:44:22,791 --> 00:44:26,290
- Ooh! God, that was fun.
- It was. Your brother's really nice.

952
00:44:26,291 --> 00:44:28,249
- Oh my God. What a sweetheart, right?
- Yeah.

953
00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:32,332
- Yayir!
- Bro, you fucking killed it, man.

954
00:44:32,333 --> 00:44:34,665
- Great meeting you, dawg.
- Abso... Oh, it was my pleasure.

955
00:44:34,666 --> 00:44:35,790
Whoo!

956
00:44:35,791 --> 00:44:37,207
Boo, so fun.

957
00:44:37,208 --> 00:44:38,540
- Boo.
- Mwah!

958
00:44:40,875 --> 00:44:43,165
Okay.  I like that.

959
00:44:43,166 --> 00:44:44,500
I do too.

960
00:44:46,083 --> 00:44:47,124
Mm...

961
00:44:48,916 --> 00:44:50,125
Okay.

962
00:44:50,708 --> 00:44:53,749
Now they're fucking
on the hood of your car, hon. Just FYI.

963
00:44:53,750 --> 00:44:54,749
Hmm?

964
00:44:54,750 --> 00:44:56,707
Ooh, the floodgates are opening!

965
00:44:56,708 --> 00:44:58,207
There goes your car alarm.

966
00:44:58,208 --> 00:45:01,415
Oh, look. Now the Meyersons
are getting a little bit of a show.

967
00:45:01,416 --> 00:45:03,499
We'll get an angry call from them
in the morning.

968
00:45:03,500 --> 00:45:06,249
I'm on this new SSRI.
It takes me forever to come!

969
00:45:06,250 --> 00:45:09,333
It's working for me!
- God. His stroke game is so weak.

970
00:45:09,833 --> 00:45:11,665
He should take a lesson from you.

971
00:45:11,666 --> 00:45:13,790
Oh Jesus!

972
00:45:40,166 --> 00:45:41,332
The fuck?

973
00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:53,666
Gotcha.

974
00:45:59,125 --> 00:46:01,040
- What's going on?
- Yeah, Dad. What the fuck?

975
00:46:01,041 --> 00:46:03,040
I'm about to tell you what the fuck.

976
00:46:03,041 --> 00:46:03,958
Sit down.

977
00:46:07,333 --> 00:46:11,666
Rudd, whatever it is...
we're here for you, and we support you.

978
00:46:12,250 --> 00:46:16,207
Great. Because I found something.
Something rather alarming.

979
00:46:16,208 --> 00:46:17,583
Ah, shit.

980
00:46:18,083 --> 00:46:19,875
Is it on the shaft or the groin area?

981
00:46:20,666 --> 00:46:23,082
It's not on any...

982
00:46:23,083 --> 00:46:24,125
God.

983
00:46:24,875 --> 00:46:25,832
I gotta take this.

984
00:46:27,416 --> 00:46:30,332
Nurse Sonj has
a similar situation.

985
00:46:31,250 --> 00:46:34,124
Hello?
Hey, TV star!

986
00:46:34,125 --> 00:46:35,290
You fucking did it.

987
00:46:35,291 --> 00:46:37,499
Really?  That's amazing.

988
00:46:37,500 --> 00:46:39,790
<i>Yeah, you guys are magic together.</i>

989
00:46:39,791 --> 00:46:41,624
Me and Kieran?
<i>You and Marcus.</i>

990
00:46:41,625 --> 00:46:44,374
<i>The network really responded to him.</i>

991
00:46:46,375 --> 00:46:47,457
Really?
<i>Yeah.</i>

992
00:46:47,458 --> 00:46:50,707
<i>The... the uptight, older, rich, white guy</i>

993
00:46:50,708 --> 00:46:52,915
reuniting with his, uh, underprivileged,

994
00:46:52,916 --> 00:46:56,665
diverse, younger,
arguably hotter, long-lost brother.

995
00:46:56,666 --> 00:46:58,124
It's fucking classic, Rudd.

996
00:46:58,125 --> 00:47:00,332
Yeah, sure.
<i>It has it all.</i>

997
00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:02,665
Rags to riches. Wish fulfillment.

998
00:47:02,666 --> 00:47:05,290
White guy getting his car banged up.
Love to see it.

999
00:47:05,291 --> 00:47:07,457
<i>Let's see him struggle once.</i>

1000
00:47:07,458 --> 00:47:09,624
<i>For once in his life.</i>
<i>Just a little.</i>

1001
00:47:09,625 --> 00:47:11,957
<i>Anyway, we're just gonna need
the two of you to come down</i>

1002
00:47:11,958 --> 00:47:14,540
and shoot a new title sequence
with both of you in it.

1003
00:47:14,541 --> 00:47:16,457
Him in the title sequence?
<i>Yeah.</i>

1004
00:47:16,458 --> 00:47:19,415
Marcus really solidifies
your place in the show.

1005
00:47:19,416 --> 00:47:23,249
Otherwise, you're just another meathead
in a suit selling condos.

1006
00:47:23,250 --> 00:47:25,415
<i>Don't need that.
<i>Don't need any more.</i></i>

1007
00:47:25,416 --> 00:47:28,790
But, hey, look, if you're not feeling it,
we could always just focus on Marcus.

1008
00:47:28,791 --> 00:47:30,665
<i>Do a kind of</i> Fresh Prince <i>thing.</i>

1009
00:47:30,666 --> 00:47:33,749
- Yeah, or we could give it to Hayley.
- Mm! I love that.

1010
00:47:33,750 --> 00:47:35,665
Introduce Marcus as <i>her</i> Little Brother.

1011
00:47:35,666 --> 00:47:37,290
Wait, what?
<i>That's sexy.</i>

1012
00:47:37,291 --> 00:47:40,665
<i>Hey, anyway, we're hoping to make
a decision by this afternoon. Okay.</i>

1013
00:47:40,666 --> 00:47:43,790
- Ciao. Ciao for real.
- Bye, brother. Love you like a brother.

1014
00:47:47,208 --> 00:47:48,500
You were saying?

1015
00:47:51,583 --> 00:47:53,458
Yeah, I... I was saying...

1016
00:47:56,375 --> 00:47:57,874
As you may have noticed, Marcus,

1017
00:47:57,875 --> 00:48:00,582
I wasn't necessarily
100% on board with you being here.

1018
00:48:00,583 --> 00:48:02,041
What?

1019
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,499
Did anyone else pick up on that?

1020
00:48:04,500 --> 00:48:05,708
Regardless...

1021
00:48:07,750 --> 00:48:10,291
...possibly, I have judged you too quickly.

1022
00:48:10,791 --> 00:48:12,082
That's on me.

1023
00:48:12,083 --> 00:48:14,707
Those are just my own insecurities
lashing out.

1024
00:48:14,708 --> 00:48:17,833
I apologize for that, and...
Oh...

1025
00:48:18,875 --> 00:48:21,666
...it's good
to have you back in my life.

1026
00:48:23,083 --> 00:48:24,790
What was that, bro?

1027
00:48:24,791 --> 00:48:26,958
Yeah, Dad,
you kind of mumbled that last part.

1028
00:48:27,791 --> 00:48:31,415
I said, it is good
to have you back in my life.

1029
00:48:32,458 --> 00:48:35,082
Come on, Marcus, keep it together.
Oh...

1030
00:48:35,083 --> 00:48:37,790
Those are only the most beautiful words
you've ever heard.

1031
00:48:37,791 --> 00:48:40,124
I am so proud of you, hon.

1032
00:48:40,125 --> 00:48:42,207
Aw...

1033
00:48:42,208 --> 00:48:44,165
I thought you said
you found something alarming.

1034
00:48:44,166 --> 00:48:45,208
I did.

1035
00:48:46,916 --> 00:48:48,874
Deep within myself.

1036
00:48:48,875 --> 00:48:49,958
Oh, great.

1037
00:48:51,583 --> 00:48:55,208
Well... I have some big news too.

1038
00:48:55,708 --> 00:48:57,832
I reached out
to Big Brothers, Little Brothers,

1039
00:48:57,833 --> 00:49:01,374
and I told them your story,
and they went crazy for it.

1040
00:49:01,375 --> 00:49:05,915
So crazy that they wanna make you
their honorary Big Brother of the Year.

1041
00:49:05,916 --> 00:49:08,457
Big Brother of the Year?

1042
00:49:08,458 --> 00:49:11,374
Yes! More like Big Brother of the Century!

1043
00:49:11,375 --> 00:49:13,415
We can make it a reunion event

1044
00:49:13,416 --> 00:49:15,540
where we reconnect Big Brothers
with Little Brothers

1045
00:49:15,541 --> 00:49:18,374
who haven't seen each other for a while,
just like you and Marcus.

1046
00:49:18,375 --> 00:49:19,500
And guess what.

1047
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,832
They want Marcus
to present you with the award.

1048
00:49:22,833 --> 00:49:24,665
Isn't that amazing?

1049
00:49:25,916 --> 00:49:28,290
Oh, look, D. He's crying.

1050
00:49:28,291 --> 00:49:29,999
Oh my God.

1051
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,707
Let the tears flow.

1052
00:49:32,708 --> 00:49:34,582
Hmm.

1053
00:49:37,375 --> 00:49:40,040
<i>On</i> NYC Hustlers<i>,
there's a new season</i>

1054
00:49:40,041 --> 00:49:42,665
<i>and a new reason for attitude</i>

1055
00:49:42,666 --> 00:49:44,874
<i>when we add two dudes.</i>

1056
00:49:46,291 --> 00:49:50,583
<i>There's never a dull "bro-ment"
when these two guys are around.</i>

1057
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:57,207
{\an8}I don't wanna speak for my big bro here,
but we've been given a gift.

1058
00:49:57,208 --> 00:50:01,375
{\an8}We get to live together, work together,
go home and talk about work together.

1059
00:50:01,958 --> 00:50:03,999
He exhales. I inhale.

1060
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,083
It's like we're one organism.

1061
00:50:06,583 --> 00:50:10,165
Wanted to show you the stage.
We've got a great lighting designer.

1062
00:50:10,166 --> 00:50:12,749
And on the stage,
we could also get a great photo op

1063
00:50:12,750 --> 00:50:15,249
with everyone wearing
their Little Brothers, Big Brothers hats.

1064
00:50:15,250 --> 00:50:16,707
I think it'll be super cute.

1065
00:50:16,708 --> 00:50:19,457
I was a little hesitant about you
at first.

1066
00:50:19,458 --> 00:50:22,415
I thought you were just
another meathead in a suit selling condos,

1067
00:50:22,416 --> 00:50:24,374
but seeing you with your brother,

1068
00:50:24,375 --> 00:50:25,666
you got a heart.

1069
00:50:26,166 --> 00:50:27,291
And I like heart.

1070
00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:29,540
We'll take it.

1071
00:50:29,541 --> 00:50:32,540
And boom! Mansion accomplished.

1072
00:50:35,208 --> 00:50:36,332
Mansion accomplished!

1073
00:50:36,333 --> 00:50:39,999
That's so funny. It's usually "mission,"
but you said "mansion" instead.

1074
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:41,249
Yeah.
Good one.

1075
00:50:42,416 --> 00:50:45,875
Today is actually the anniversary
of my dead father's passing.

1076
00:50:46,666 --> 00:50:48,874
- Oh.
- Okay, I think we got it, everybody.

1077
00:50:48,875 --> 00:50:50,749
Yeah, that's a wrap. Thank you all.

1078
00:50:50,750 --> 00:50:52,082
Great.
Love it.

1079
00:50:52,083 --> 00:50:54,290
Perfect. Great job.
Oh my God, Marcus.

1080
00:50:54,291 --> 00:50:56,457
Yes, chef.
You are so funny.

1081
00:51:00,333 --> 00:51:02,416
Hey!

1082
00:51:04,625 --> 00:51:06,082
We did it!

1083
00:51:08,458 --> 00:51:10,666
We're living the dream.
Wouldn't you say so, bro?

1084
00:51:11,708 --> 00:51:12,583
Yep.

1085
00:51:13,166 --> 00:51:14,207
Living the dream.

1086
00:51:27,416 --> 00:51:28,915
So what's our plan?

1087
00:51:28,916 --> 00:51:29,875
Plan?

1088
00:51:30,833 --> 00:51:32,166
The Marcus problem.

1089
00:51:32,666 --> 00:51:33,500
Problem?

1090
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,457
Do you have eyes?

1091
00:51:35,458 --> 00:51:38,124
I was the inspiring underdog
who everyone was rooting for,

1092
00:51:38,125 --> 00:51:40,332
and now my screen time is in free fall.

1093
00:51:40,333 --> 00:51:43,708
You and me... we're on death row, my man.

1094
00:51:44,583 --> 00:51:46,874
I know it's not ideal,
but I'm his connection to the show.

1095
00:51:46,875 --> 00:51:48,457
Shouldn't that be good for me?

1096
00:51:48,458 --> 00:51:49,874
That's what Jill Zarin thought

1097
00:51:49,875 --> 00:51:51,832
when she invited
her friend Bethenny Frankel

1098
00:51:51,833 --> 00:51:54,125
onto the set
of <i>Real Housewives of New York City</i>.

1099
00:51:54,708 --> 00:51:57,290
Now Bethenny has
the world's leading skinny margarita mix,

1100
00:51:57,291 --> 00:51:59,041
and Jill lives in Boca,

1101
00:51:59,708 --> 00:52:01,958
where they don't even have
a <i>Housewives</i> franchise.

1102
00:52:02,708 --> 00:52:04,791
- What do we do?
- "We"?

1103
00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:07,457
You let the fox into the hen house.

1104
00:52:07,458 --> 00:52:10,125
Now you need to find
a dog big enough to chase him out.

1105
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:13,415
- A ten-and-over.
- A ten-million-dollar listing?

1106
00:52:13,416 --> 00:52:14,708
And over.

1107
00:52:15,375 --> 00:52:17,166
A motherfucking showpiece.

1108
00:52:17,791 --> 00:52:19,790
Something they can
build an episode around,

1109
00:52:19,791 --> 00:52:22,500
that keeps the attention on you
and not Marcus.

1110
00:52:23,083 --> 00:52:25,374
Whatever it is,
you better think of something fast,

1111
00:52:25,375 --> 00:52:28,750
or your little brother is gonna
send us both to Boca.

1112
00:52:29,833 --> 00:52:32,083
And you will never be the big dog.

1113
00:52:42,750 --> 00:52:45,375
Hey. You have a minute to talk?

1114
00:52:47,083 --> 00:52:48,625
Hmm.

1115
00:52:51,416 --> 00:52:52,415
Hey, you.

1116
00:52:52,416 --> 00:52:54,040
Hey!

1117
00:52:54,041 --> 00:52:55,332
Making coffee, huh?

1118
00:52:55,333 --> 00:52:57,083
- Yeah, you want some?
- Sure.

1119
00:52:57,583 --> 00:53:00,999
I actually like mine with honey
and a little cayenne pepper.

1120
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:02,874
- Get out.
- Gives it an extra kick.

1121
00:53:02,875 --> 00:53:04,332
What? That's how I like it.

1122
00:53:04,333 --> 00:53:06,749
- Stop it.
- Yes. I'm making it like that right now.

1123
00:53:06,750 --> 00:53:09,707
- That is so fucking random.
- I love it that way. Yeah.

1124
00:53:09,708 --> 00:53:11,540
Gosh. Crazy.

1125
00:53:11,541 --> 00:53:12,832
Okay, enjoy.

1126
00:53:12,833 --> 00:53:15,166
- Cheers.
- Yeah...

1127
00:53:17,208 --> 00:53:18,624
Do you mind if I play music?

1128
00:53:18,625 --> 00:53:20,250
Oh yeah. Be my guest.

1129
00:53:24,500 --> 00:53:25,416
Hold up.

1130
00:53:25,916 --> 00:53:27,040
Hoobastank?

1131
00:53:27,041 --> 00:53:29,582
Get the fuck outta here, girl.

1132
00:53:29,583 --> 00:53:32,374
You're putting on motherfucking 'stank
in the middle of the day?

1133
00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:34,208
Yeah. It's one of my favorites.

1134
00:53:34,791 --> 00:53:37,249
Really bittersweet, but yet...

1135
00:53:37,250 --> 00:53:40,332
- Uplifting, yes!
- Uplifting. That's what I was gonna say.

1136
00:53:40,333 --> 00:53:42,915
That's, like, kind of
me and Rudd's favorite song.

1137
00:53:43,833 --> 00:53:48,207
We talked about it over email a <i>ton.</i>
I mean, it's kind of our thing, you know?

1138
00:53:48,208 --> 00:53:50,624
Your thing?
Yeah.

1139
00:53:50,625 --> 00:53:52,165
- You and Rudd.
- Yeah.

1140
00:53:52,166 --> 00:53:53,208
Totally.

1141
00:53:53,916 --> 00:53:56,583
Hey, can I ask you something? Um...

1142
00:53:57,166 --> 00:53:59,000
You're Rudd's assistant. Um...

1143
00:53:59,791 --> 00:54:02,624
Do you have any tips
on how to, uh... connect with him?

1144
00:54:02,625 --> 00:54:05,332
We had this magic over email,
but since I've been here,

1145
00:54:05,333 --> 00:54:07,707
it kind of feels like
he doesn't want me around.

1146
00:54:07,708 --> 00:54:10,333
I'm just... trying to get
that old spark back.

1147
00:54:10,916 --> 00:54:13,374
What did you like about his emails?

1148
00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:15,707
Uh, pff, girl,
just about every damn thing.

1149
00:54:15,708 --> 00:54:18,540
So funny and smart.

1150
00:54:18,541 --> 00:54:20,082
Emoji game, tight.

1151
00:54:20,083 --> 00:54:21,207
Yeah.

1152
00:54:21,208 --> 00:54:23,124
We just really connected, you know?

1153
00:54:23,125 --> 00:54:24,790
Listen.

1154
00:54:24,791 --> 00:54:27,624
He's been really focused on the show,

1155
00:54:27,625 --> 00:54:30,374
and he's kind of insecure
about the whole thing.

1156
00:54:30,375 --> 00:54:31,332
Mm!

1157
00:54:31,333 --> 00:54:35,165
So if you could just let him have
the spotlight every once in a while...

1158
00:54:35,166 --> 00:54:36,832
Wait. Was I hogging the spotlight?

1159
00:54:36,833 --> 00:54:39,999
- Just a little bit.
- Ugh! God, I had no idea.

1160
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,915
Thank you, Mia. It's been really nice
working alongside you.

1161
00:54:42,916 --> 00:54:45,083
- Same.
- Yeah.

1162
00:54:45,666 --> 00:54:46,915
'Kay, see you.

1163
00:54:46,916 --> 00:54:47,957
- Bye.
- Bye.

1164
00:54:49,750 --> 00:54:52,040
The way I see it,
great opportunity for you,

1165
00:54:52,041 --> 00:54:54,374
not just financially,
but also professionally.

1166
00:54:54,375 --> 00:54:56,874
Being on the show's gonna get you
top dollar for the house,

1167
00:54:56,875 --> 00:54:59,707
but at the same time,
you can promote your personal brand.

1168
00:54:59,708 --> 00:55:02,707
Ruddy, Ruddy, Ruddy, you gotta relax.

1169
00:55:02,708 --> 00:55:04,790
Selling me so hard,
you're gonna blow out a hammy.

1170
00:55:04,791 --> 00:55:07,665
You wanna list my house
for the show? I'm in.

1171
00:55:07,666 --> 00:55:09,665
- You are?
- Sure. Why not?

1172
00:55:09,666 --> 00:55:11,665
In fact, we should do it this weekend.

1173
00:55:11,666 --> 00:55:15,040
Throw a big bash, invite some VIPs
for the cameras. You bring the family.

1174
00:55:15,041 --> 00:55:16,249
We'll make a day of it.

1175
00:55:16,250 --> 00:55:19,250
Josh... man, you don't know
what this means to me.

1176
00:55:19,875 --> 00:55:22,457
- Anything for my baby bro.
- Ha!

1177
00:55:22,458 --> 00:55:25,125
So I'm gonna tell the producers
you're gonna give me the listing?

1178
00:55:25,791 --> 00:55:27,625
Why don't we save that for the show?

1179
00:55:28,125 --> 00:55:29,375
Make it more interesting.

1180
00:55:29,875 --> 00:55:30,957
Yeah. Yeah.

1181
00:55:30,958 --> 00:55:32,791
Yeah. Of course.

1182
00:55:34,666 --> 00:55:38,041
- You're gonna give me the listing, right?
- Don't even worry about that.

1183
00:55:41,208 --> 00:55:44,624
So... how are things with you and Rudd?

1184
00:55:44,625 --> 00:55:46,290
Mm... I don't know.

1185
00:55:46,291 --> 00:55:48,540
I feel like
he's opening up more emotionally,

1186
00:55:48,541 --> 00:55:52,165
and I've made myself more available,
but it doesn't seem like he's interested.

1187
00:55:52,166 --> 00:55:55,582
- Ah...
- He's just still so in his head.

1188
00:55:57,208 --> 00:55:59,500
Desperate times
call for desperate measures.

1189
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,125
You might wanna think
about eating that ass.

1190
00:56:03,333 --> 00:56:04,166
Excuse me?

1191
00:56:04,833 --> 00:56:06,665
Wait. Have you never done it?

1192
00:56:06,666 --> 00:56:08,374
- No!
- Are you--

1193
00:56:08,375 --> 00:56:10,540
Wait.  Isn't that kind of gross?

1194
00:56:10,541 --> 00:56:13,374
Oh my God. Are you kidding me?

1195
00:56:13,375 --> 00:56:16,082
- It's the oldest form of lovemaking.
- No.

1196
00:56:16,083 --> 00:56:19,332
And getting your flavor cave tongued
is the ultimate hard reset.

1197
00:56:19,333 --> 00:56:20,374
Wait. Hard reset?

1198
00:56:20,375 --> 00:56:23,624
You know when you turn on your phone
and you wipe the drive clean?

1199
00:56:23,625 --> 00:56:26,290
That's what having someone
go Joey Chestnut on your cinnamon ring

1200
00:56:26,291 --> 00:56:27,540
does to the human brain.

1201
00:56:27,541 --> 00:56:30,790
Oh my God.
Restores factory settings.

1202
00:56:30,791 --> 00:56:32,790
- You're serious.
- Oh yeah!

1203
00:56:32,791 --> 00:56:36,458
You wanna get him out of his head,
you gotta get into his ass.

1204
00:56:36,958 --> 00:56:40,207
And personally, I think giving's
even better than receiving.

1205
00:56:40,208 --> 00:56:41,707
Oh my God.

1206
00:56:41,708 --> 00:56:43,624
You are something else.

1207
00:56:43,625 --> 00:56:44,999
Oh my God.

1208
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:46,290
- Bottoms up.
- Whoo!

1209
00:56:51,708 --> 00:56:53,499
And then she baked <i>me</i> cookies.

1210
00:56:53,500 --> 00:56:55,457
How cute is that?

1211
00:56:55,458 --> 00:56:58,124
I mean, everyone
at Big Brothers, Little Brothers

1212
00:56:58,125 --> 00:56:59,874
has just been incredible.

1213
00:56:59,875 --> 00:57:02,083
I feel like I've finally found
my true calling.

1214
00:57:03,625 --> 00:57:04,541
Hmm.

1215
00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:08,124
You okay? You seem quiet.

1216
00:57:08,125 --> 00:57:11,082
I just don't get it.
Why's Josh letting me do this?

1217
00:57:11,083 --> 00:57:12,415
Do what?

1218
00:57:12,416 --> 00:57:13,874
Put his house on the show.

1219
00:57:13,875 --> 00:57:16,041
I mean, like, what's his angle?

1220
00:57:16,541 --> 00:57:19,082
Maybe because you asked him
and he cares about you.

1221
00:57:19,083 --> 00:57:20,707
Definitely not that.

1222
00:57:20,708 --> 00:57:22,750
He wouldn't even tell me
if I got the listing.

1223
00:57:23,333 --> 00:57:25,540
Feel like he's setting me up
for something. But what?

1224
00:57:25,541 --> 00:57:27,749
Okay, I've had it with this shit.
Pull over.

1225
00:57:27,750 --> 00:57:28,665
What? Why?

1226
00:57:28,666 --> 00:57:30,165
I'm sick of you being in your head,

1227
00:57:30,166 --> 00:57:32,707
so stressed about the show
and your fucking brother.

1228
00:57:32,708 --> 00:57:34,790
You're as tight as a fucking teenage nun.

1229
00:57:34,791 --> 00:57:36,750
- Excuse me?
- You heard me. Pull the fuck over!

1230
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:43,916
What?

1231
00:57:54,083 --> 00:57:55,624
We haven't done this in a while.

1232
00:57:59,375 --> 00:58:01,749
The zipper's stuck.
- The belt's a double hook.

1233
00:58:01,750 --> 00:58:02,999
- God!
- Okay, okay.

1234
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,374
- If I can... If I can get...
- Hold on. Put the window down.

1235
00:58:05,375 --> 00:58:07,207
Go out the window,
I can take your pants off.

1236
00:58:07,208 --> 00:58:09,374
- All right. Yeah.
- Go, go, go. That's it.

1237
00:58:09,375 --> 00:58:11,040
- Goddamn it, come on!
- That's it.

1238
00:58:11,041 --> 00:58:13,457
- Okay. I'm gonna... If I can...
- That's it.

1239
00:58:13,458 --> 00:58:15,125
Turn around. Turn around!

1240
00:58:15,708 --> 00:58:16,999
- Okay.
- Like that.

1241
00:58:21,041 --> 00:58:25,457
<i>♪ I wanna do something freaky to you ♪</i>

1242
00:58:25,458 --> 00:58:27,083
<i>♪ Baby ♪</i>

1243
00:58:28,416 --> 00:58:29,833
Is that your dad's car?

1244
00:58:30,833 --> 00:58:33,583
It sure looks like it.
Wait. What are they doing?

1245
00:58:36,375 --> 00:58:37,875
Why is Dad facing that way?

1246
00:58:38,458 --> 00:58:41,041
I can't really make sense
of how they're arranged.

1247
00:58:41,625 --> 00:58:43,499
You will someday, son.

1248
00:58:43,500 --> 00:58:44,791
You will someday.

1249
00:58:45,875 --> 00:58:50,457
<i>♪ I'd love to slide down
Into your canyon ♪</i>

1250
00:58:50,458 --> 00:58:51,707
<i>♪ Slide now ♪</i>

1251
00:58:51,708 --> 00:58:54,374
<i>- ♪ In the valley of love ♪
- ♪ In the valley of love ♪</i>

1252
00:58:54,375 --> 00:58:55,290
Wow.

1253
00:58:55,291 --> 00:58:57,790
Rudd, you look so cool.

1254
00:58:57,791 --> 00:58:59,790
Thank you, Mia. You look lovely.

1255
00:58:59,791 --> 00:59:01,999
They already started filming.
Everyone's ready for you.

1256
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:03,415
Oh no, they're not.

1257
00:59:08,375 --> 00:59:09,416
Wow.

1258
00:59:15,458 --> 00:59:18,291
Oh, hi. Uh, your mintiest drink, please.

1259
00:59:18,791 --> 00:59:19,875
Perfect.

1260
00:59:20,458 --> 00:59:21,790
Hmm. Hmm.

1261
00:59:21,791 --> 00:59:24,374
Uh-huh.

1262
00:59:24,375 --> 00:59:25,665
Oh!

1263
00:59:25,666 --> 00:59:27,540
Wow! Goddamn!

1264
00:59:27,541 --> 00:59:29,415
Look at this majestic silverback.

1265
00:59:29,416 --> 00:59:31,249
Atilla the Hunk.

1266
00:59:31,250 --> 00:59:34,624
I can't wait to hang back
and watch you shine, twin.

1267
00:59:34,625 --> 00:59:35,582
Hang back?

1268
00:59:35,583 --> 00:59:38,374
Yes! That spotlight,
all on you tonight, my man.

1269
00:59:38,375 --> 00:59:41,916
I'm the wingman.
You're the king, man. Come on, now.

1270
00:59:43,625 --> 00:59:46,125
Thanks, Marcus. I really appreciate that.

1271
00:59:48,208 --> 00:59:49,790
- Wow!
- Hey.

1272
00:59:49,791 --> 00:59:50,749
Okay.

1273
00:59:50,750 --> 00:59:52,582
Hey.

1274
00:59:52,583 --> 00:59:54,790
- God. You look gorgeous.
- Thanks.

1275
00:59:54,791 --> 00:59:57,415
I love this. Reminds me of Lil' Kim
in my favorite Missy video.

1276
00:59:57,416 --> 00:59:59,374
- "Supa Dupa Fly."
- "...Fly."

1277
01:00:00,958 --> 01:00:02,665
- How funny.
- Get out of my head.

1278
01:00:02,666 --> 01:00:04,374
Just call me Lil' Kimchi.

1279
01:00:04,375 --> 01:00:05,832
Hello.
- Yeah.

1280
01:00:05,833 --> 01:00:07,957
- I'm kidding. I prefer Mia.
- Okay, yeah.

1281
01:00:07,958 --> 01:00:09,749
I look, and I see land ho. Hey.

1282
01:00:09,750 --> 01:00:11,124
Big bro.
- Hey.

1283
01:00:11,125 --> 01:00:13,999
Man, this place looks more impressive
every time I see it.

1284
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:15,832
Man, that's just your reflection, stud.

1285
01:00:15,833 --> 01:00:18,207
You tell them how you got this?
You guys have to hear this.

1286
01:00:18,208 --> 01:00:21,249
Oh, hey. I wanna thank you for that advice
you gave me about Rudd.

1287
01:00:21,250 --> 01:00:23,832
It was actually a nice, genuine moment
we just had.

1288
01:00:23,833 --> 01:00:25,332
It's paying huge dividends.

1289
01:00:25,333 --> 01:00:27,207
- I mean, look at him.
- One, two, three.

1290
01:00:27,208 --> 01:00:29,082
Ah!

1291
01:00:29,083 --> 01:00:30,707
Oh my God.

1292
01:00:30,708 --> 01:00:33,957
Hey, you wanna hang back with me
and watch the big dog do his thing?

1293
01:00:33,958 --> 01:00:34,875
I'd love that.

1294
01:00:35,458 --> 01:00:36,540
Okay.

1295
01:00:39,958 --> 01:00:43,082
You know, Josh personally designed
every aspect of this house.

1296
01:00:43,083 --> 01:00:46,207
So he had to make sure there was room
for one of his true passions,

1297
01:00:46,208 --> 01:00:47,124
Chinese hot pot.

1298
01:00:47,125 --> 01:00:51,415
And my favorite combination
is fish balls and Napa cabbage,

1299
01:00:51,416 --> 01:00:54,457
until tomorrow,
when I have a new favorite, of course.

1300
01:00:54,458 --> 01:00:56,165
Fish balls, huh?

1301
01:00:56,166 --> 01:00:57,999
I didn't know fish had testicles.

1302
01:01:00,250 --> 01:01:02,165
Sh, sh.

1303
01:01:02,166 --> 01:01:03,374
Shit. My bad.

1304
01:01:03,375 --> 01:01:06,165
I was listening from the next room,
and I couldn't help myself.

1305
01:01:06,166 --> 01:01:08,082
Rudd's timing was...  Mwah!

1306
01:01:08,083 --> 01:01:09,957
The Little Brother
you were telling me about?

1307
01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:11,874
Yeah. He's gonna hang back for tonight.

1308
01:01:11,875 --> 01:01:15,082
No, no. Don't be ridiculous.
Marcus, get down in here. Have a seat.

1309
01:01:15,083 --> 01:01:16,999
In there?
Yeah, come on.

1310
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:19,415
You know what?
I'm doing my thing out here, so--

1311
01:01:19,416 --> 01:01:21,749
Do your thing in here.

1312
01:01:21,750 --> 01:01:22,666
Okay.

1313
01:01:23,666 --> 01:01:25,707
Deirdre told me all about your story,

1314
01:01:25,708 --> 01:01:28,582
and I gotta tell you, man,
it got me right here.

1315
01:01:28,583 --> 01:01:30,415
You've been wronged by so many people,

1316
01:01:30,416 --> 01:01:32,957
and yet, you still have
so much love to give.

1317
01:01:32,958 --> 01:01:34,665
Hmm.
- But you know what they say?

1318
01:01:34,666 --> 01:01:36,916
My brother's brother is my brother.

1319
01:01:38,291 --> 01:01:39,790
My man.

1320
01:01:39,791 --> 01:01:42,207
Oh!
Oh! You.

1321
01:01:44,916 --> 01:01:48,207
- Can I offer you a fish ball, Marcus?
- Yes, of course. I love hot pot.

1322
01:01:48,208 --> 01:01:51,666
I was fostered by
two 95-year-old Chinese sisters for a bit.

1323
01:01:52,250 --> 01:01:53,207
What do you got here?

1324
01:01:53,208 --> 01:01:55,790
<i>Shui zhu rou. Da bai cai.</i>

1325
01:01:55,791 --> 01:01:57,290
<i>- Yu wan!
- Yu wan!</i>

1326
01:01:57,291 --> 01:01:58,749
- Ho!
- Oh!

1327
01:01:58,750 --> 01:01:59,749
<i>Xie xie.</i>

1328
01:02:01,291 --> 01:02:03,874
Am I blushing?
We're gonna get another Emmy.

1329
01:02:06,708 --> 01:02:08,583
Wow. What a spacious master.

1330
01:02:10,416 --> 01:02:12,708
Bro, I think they call it a primary now.

1331
01:02:13,208 --> 01:02:14,790
Oh, I didn't... We should cut.

1332
01:02:14,791 --> 01:02:17,874
- No, just keep on rolling.
- Where the magic happens, huh?

1333
01:02:17,875 --> 01:02:21,041
- What does that mean?
- Oh, you know, like all the sex and stuff.

1334
01:02:25,416 --> 01:02:28,332
Dude is really funny, man.

1335
01:02:28,333 --> 01:02:30,999
Hey, speaking of magic,
let me show you fellas the bathroom.

1336
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,207
Give us a minute.

1337
01:02:32,208 --> 01:02:34,332
This is where the real magic happens.

1338
01:02:38,583 --> 01:02:40,750
Who wants to rim the Grim Reaper?

1339
01:02:45,041 --> 01:02:45,874
What are those?

1340
01:02:45,875 --> 01:02:48,124
I'm not sure.
Justin Timberlake gave them to me.

1341
01:02:48,125 --> 01:02:49,457
Said it's the same shit he took

1342
01:02:49,458 --> 01:02:51,249
when he wrote the song
for that <i>Troll</i> movie,

1343
01:02:51,250 --> 01:02:52,624
so you know it's gotta be good.

1344
01:02:52,625 --> 01:02:55,332
Now, Rudd's a bit of a square,
so he's not gonna indulge.

1345
01:02:55,333 --> 01:02:58,665
- That means, Marcus, it's all yours, baby.
- Um... All right.

1346
01:02:58,666 --> 01:03:00,791
No. "Square."
What?

1347
01:03:01,583 --> 01:03:04,041
Oh my God.

1348
01:03:04,833 --> 01:03:05,708
Yo.

1349
01:03:06,208 --> 01:03:07,416
Woo-hoo!

1350
01:03:08,708 --> 01:03:11,540
- I didn't know you partied like that.
- Every day, bro.

1351
01:03:11,541 --> 01:03:13,666
Well, Justin said only do a tiny bump.

1352
01:03:14,625 --> 01:03:17,332
- You didn't mention that.
- Oh, well, anybody else?

1353
01:03:17,333 --> 01:03:19,999
- No.
- All right, let's get out of here.

1354
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:21,790
- Wait. You're not gonna do any?
- Who, me?

1355
01:03:21,791 --> 01:03:25,666
No, man, I was just being a good host.
The only drug I do is the beat, baby.

1356
01:03:26,250 --> 01:03:27,791
Yeah, I think I'm good too.

1357
01:03:28,666 --> 01:03:29,666
Okay.

1358
01:03:32,250 --> 01:03:34,582
You're fucking us right now.

1359
01:03:34,583 --> 01:03:36,957
You see what's happening here?

1360
01:03:36,958 --> 01:03:39,749
- Joshy!
- My brother's brother is my brother.

1361
01:03:39,750 --> 01:03:43,374
Marcus is gonna steal this listing.
<i>The listing is mine.</i>

1362
01:03:44,500 --> 01:03:47,332
<i>You're just another meathead
in a suit selling condos.</i>

1363
01:03:47,333 --> 01:03:49,665
You'll never be the big dog.

1364
01:03:52,750 --> 01:03:55,415
You need to keep Marcus
away from Josh, you little bitch.

1365
01:03:55,416 --> 01:03:57,124
Bitch.
Rudd.

1366
01:03:57,125 --> 01:03:58,915
Rudd. Hello?

1367
01:03:59,958 --> 01:04:01,708
The fuck is wrong with this guy?

1368
01:04:20,500 --> 01:04:23,624
I can't believe how much me, you,
and Rudd have in common.

1369
01:04:23,625 --> 01:04:24,999
Yeah, it's pretty nuts.

1370
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:28,165
I feel like the universe chewed me up
and spit me in your mouth.

1371
01:04:28,166 --> 01:04:30,707
Yeah, we're like a ménage à trois
without sex.

1372
01:04:30,708 --> 01:04:33,624
A human centipede of commonality.

1373
01:04:33,625 --> 01:04:37,957
And that last beat
goes out to my new bro, Marcus!

1374
01:04:37,958 --> 01:04:39,457
Hey, brother man!

1375
01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:40,915
Huh?

1376
01:04:42,458 --> 01:04:43,707
- It's my--
- Marcus.

1377
01:04:43,708 --> 01:04:45,249
- Huh?
- I need your help.

1378
01:04:45,250 --> 01:04:47,790
You need <i>my</i> help?
Oh jeez. I'm actually nervous.

1379
01:04:47,791 --> 01:04:49,790
Go out on the deck. All right?
Wait for me there.

1380
01:04:49,791 --> 01:04:52,332
No matter what, don't come in
until I give you the signal.

1381
01:04:52,333 --> 01:04:54,999
Okay. Uh, sure.

1382
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:58,332
Rudd, are you okay?
You look like a glazed ham.

1383
01:04:58,333 --> 01:05:01,332
I'm fine. The bass is sucking me off.

1384
01:05:01,333 --> 01:05:02,583
Oh my God.

1385
01:05:03,333 --> 01:05:05,665
There you are, my man.
I've been looking everywhere for you.

1386
01:05:05,666 --> 01:05:09,124
Oh yeah, just putting your amazing view
in my spank bank for later.

1387
01:05:09,125 --> 01:05:12,458
Oh, I get it.
I've pleasured myself to it many times.

1388
01:05:13,166 --> 01:05:14,624
- Brass tacks, my man.
- Yeah.

1389
01:05:14,625 --> 01:05:17,540
I've been playing it cool
with giving Rudd the listing to my place.

1390
01:05:17,541 --> 01:05:20,582
Maybe even acting like
I'm leaning towards giving it to you,

1391
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:21,582
to up the drama.

1392
01:05:21,583 --> 01:05:23,540
I give the TV people what they want.

1393
01:05:23,541 --> 01:05:26,415
But I want the big man to have
a big win tonight. You get me, right?

1394
01:05:26,416 --> 01:05:28,790
Yeah, of course.
That's like my entire thing.

1395
01:05:28,791 --> 01:05:30,457
Rudd, have you seen Shane?

1396
01:05:30,458 --> 01:05:33,457
Ugh, Deirdre, I don't have time for that.
I'm doing something important.

1397
01:05:33,458 --> 01:05:35,082
What?

1398
01:05:35,083 --> 01:05:38,665
- It looks like you're dancing.
- Yeah, very important dancing, okay?

1399
01:05:38,666 --> 01:05:42,083
I'm keeping the camera on me,
and I'm keeping Marcus away from Josh.

1400
01:05:42,666 --> 01:05:44,374
Oh God.
- Where's Josh?

1401
01:05:44,375 --> 01:05:46,916
"Where's Josh?" "Where's Josh?"

1402
01:05:48,125 --> 01:05:50,499
Where's Josh? Where's Josh?!
I don't know.

1403
01:05:50,500 --> 01:05:51,750
Where's Josh?

1404
01:05:52,541 --> 01:05:53,457
Fuck!

1405
01:05:53,458 --> 01:05:54,749
We're gonna go back in.

1406
01:05:54,750 --> 01:05:57,915
We'll gather the people together,
make the announcement.

1407
01:05:57,916 --> 01:05:59,165
Yeah.

1408
01:05:59,166 --> 01:06:00,749
- I just have one request.
- Mm?

1409
01:06:00,750 --> 01:06:02,583
Can I be the one
to give him the good news?

1410
01:06:03,166 --> 01:06:06,999
My brother's brother is my brother.

1411
01:06:07,000 --> 01:06:08,790
- You got it.
- Yes!

1412
01:06:10,208 --> 01:06:12,124
Yes!

1413
01:06:13,833 --> 01:06:17,083
No! No! No! No! No!

1414
01:06:22,583 --> 01:06:23,999
No! No! No!

1415
01:06:25,708 --> 01:06:27,499
Oh shit!

1416
01:06:27,500 --> 01:06:29,540
- Oh my God. Oh my God.
- What? What?

1417
01:06:29,541 --> 01:06:33,875
Um, he's not breathing. Does anyone know
how to do an emergency tracheotomy?

1418
01:06:34,625 --> 01:06:37,165
I do. One of my foster moms was an EMT.

1419
01:06:37,166 --> 01:06:38,374
Uh, excuse me.

1420
01:06:38,375 --> 01:06:39,749
Uh... Shit. Sorry.

1421
01:06:39,750 --> 01:06:41,415
I'm coming down!

1422
01:06:45,916 --> 01:06:48,457
Oh God.
Rudd's got a metal straw in his pocket.

1423
01:06:48,458 --> 01:06:50,916
He did drugs with it.
No time to explain more.

1424
01:06:51,791 --> 01:06:53,207
- Here.
- Yeah. Okay.

1425
01:06:53,208 --> 01:06:54,374
Once I stab his throat,

1426
01:06:54,375 --> 01:06:56,207
you put pressure on it
to slow the bleeding.

1427
01:06:56,208 --> 01:06:57,665
Okay.

1428
01:06:57,666 --> 01:06:59,124
Oh shit!

1429
01:06:59,125 --> 01:07:00,749
Ah!
Oh God.

1430
01:07:00,750 --> 01:07:02,540
Stay with me, buddy.

1431
01:07:05,625 --> 01:07:06,541
Ugh.

1432
01:07:20,833 --> 01:07:23,124
Oh my God. He's breathing!

1433
01:07:23,125 --> 01:07:25,124
Mar... Marcus, you saved him!

1434
01:07:25,125 --> 01:07:26,957
Marcus is a hero!

1435
01:07:28,916 --> 01:07:30,374
Thank you. I didn't... Oh.

1436
01:07:30,375 --> 01:07:31,582
- Incredible.
- Oh my God.

1437
01:07:31,583 --> 01:07:33,707
- No. Please. I mean...
- You are such a star.

1438
01:07:33,708 --> 01:07:36,290
Anyone in my position would have done
the same thing.

1439
01:07:40,250 --> 01:07:41,707
Oh.

1440
01:07:41,708 --> 01:07:43,082
Phew.

1441
01:07:43,083 --> 01:07:45,374
A miracle!
Thank God for this dude.

1442
01:07:45,375 --> 01:07:48,082
Incredible.
It was nothing, really. Oh God.

1443
01:07:48,083 --> 01:07:51,207
You guys are too kind. Thank you.

1444
01:07:51,208 --> 01:07:53,165
You guys would've done the same.
Hero!

1445
01:07:53,166 --> 01:07:55,415
GOAT. Greatest of all time.
Stop.

1446
01:07:55,416 --> 01:07:57,749
I'm just happy he's safe.
- Yeah!

1447
01:07:57,750 --> 01:07:59,832
Let's all clap for Marcus!

1448
01:07:59,833 --> 01:08:01,499
He's a hero, right?

1449
01:08:02,750 --> 01:08:03,707
Wrong!

1450
01:08:03,708 --> 01:08:05,582
Rudd, what are you doing?

1451
01:08:05,583 --> 01:08:06,999
Oh, I don't know, hon.

1452
01:08:07,000 --> 01:08:08,999
Just wondering
when we're gonna cut the shit

1453
01:08:09,000 --> 01:08:12,832
and stop pretending this stranger,
this scam artist, is part of our family.

1454
01:08:12,833 --> 01:08:15,166
Rudd, what are you saying right now, bro?

1455
01:08:15,750 --> 01:08:19,332
Don't "bro" me, all right?
I saw you out on the balcony with Josh.

1456
01:08:19,333 --> 01:08:22,415
You were planning to steal the listing
of this house right from under me.

1457
01:08:22,416 --> 01:08:24,457
What are you talking about?
No, we weren't.

1458
01:08:24,458 --> 01:08:26,207
How can I trust anything you say?

1459
01:08:26,208 --> 01:08:29,750
You've been lying to us the whole time.
Hey, look at this.

1460
01:08:30,750 --> 01:08:31,791
Recognize that?

1461
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:34,207
Oh shit.

1462
01:08:34,208 --> 01:08:39,708
This is Marcus's hospital bracelet
from a fucking psych ward!

1463
01:08:40,208 --> 01:08:42,749
He's an escaped mental patient.

1464
01:08:44,625 --> 01:08:45,624
What's wrong?

1465
01:08:48,250 --> 01:08:49,708
Nothing to say now, huh?

1466
01:08:51,041 --> 01:08:52,415
No way out of this one, pal.

1467
01:08:57,791 --> 01:08:58,958
Uh...

1468
01:09:00,750 --> 01:09:01,750
He's right.

1469
01:09:03,291 --> 01:09:04,500
I did lie to you.

1470
01:09:05,625 --> 01:09:08,583
I was afraid if I told you the truth
that you wouldn't accept me.

1471
01:09:11,291 --> 01:09:14,458
I've been rejected by so many people...

1472
01:09:16,500 --> 01:09:17,791
that, uh...

1473
01:09:19,166 --> 01:09:21,208
...I started to hate myself.

1474
01:09:22,500 --> 01:09:25,374
At one point, I was so... alone

1475
01:09:25,375 --> 01:09:27,708
that I thought
I might do something drastic.

1476
01:09:28,416 --> 01:09:31,624
So I checked myself
into a recovery center, and...

1477
01:09:33,750 --> 01:09:35,083
...it didn't help at all.

1478
01:09:37,458 --> 01:09:39,500
I guess I'm just meant to be alone.

1479
01:09:43,208 --> 01:09:46,832
I'm sorry I lied to you, Rudd.
But I don't understand.

1480
01:09:46,833 --> 01:09:50,000
- Our emails, we had this connection.
- He didn't write those emails.

1481
01:09:50,708 --> 01:09:51,625
I did.

1482
01:09:53,250 --> 01:09:54,457
Oh my f...

1483
01:09:54,458 --> 01:09:56,750
Goddamn it. You were catfishing me?

1484
01:09:57,375 --> 01:09:59,916
I wasn't catfishing you, Marcus.

1485
01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:02,665
- Everything in those emails was true.
- Fuck.

1486
01:10:02,666 --> 01:10:05,165
I was just pretending to be someone else.

1487
01:10:06,083 --> 01:10:08,915
Okay, maybe that's
the technical definition of catfishing.

1488
01:10:08,916 --> 01:10:10,999
- Yeah.
- But why?

1489
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:12,833
'Cause I didn't know you at all!

1490
01:10:15,375 --> 01:10:16,541
You're a stranger.

1491
01:10:19,458 --> 01:10:21,499
I am so sorry, Marcus.

1492
01:10:21,500 --> 01:10:22,874
He didn't mean that.

1493
01:10:22,875 --> 01:10:25,000
Yeah, he does.

1494
01:10:26,500 --> 01:10:27,583
But it's okay.

1495
01:10:30,708 --> 01:10:31,875
Goddamn it.

1496
01:10:32,625 --> 01:10:33,708
Marcus, wait!

1497
01:10:35,208 --> 01:10:36,708
Just leave me alone.

1498
01:10:40,166 --> 01:10:41,582
And cut!

1499
01:10:41,583 --> 01:10:43,957
I think we got it.
Good work, everybody.

1500
01:10:43,958 --> 01:10:47,457
That was phenomenal.
Yeah. Hey, drive safe, okay?

1501
01:10:49,166 --> 01:10:51,791
That was incredible.

1502
01:10:52,500 --> 01:10:53,875
Nice work, big dog.

1503
01:11:00,916 --> 01:11:06,750
<i>♪ You think that you're wise ♪</i>

1504
01:11:07,291 --> 01:11:12,207
<i>♪ And you're really on the ball ♪</i>

1505
01:11:13,458 --> 01:11:16,749
<i>♪ When it comes to love, then winning ♪</i>

1506
01:11:16,750 --> 01:11:19,207
<i>♪ Oh, oh ♪</i>

1507
01:11:19,208 --> 01:11:23,250
<i>♪ You don't know ♪</i>

1508
01:11:24,208 --> 01:11:26,624
<i>♪ Nothing at all ♪</i>

1509
01:11:27,541 --> 01:11:29,915
<i>♪ And you'd better take it ♪</i>

1510
01:11:30,875 --> 01:11:32,457
<i>♪ Take it ♪</i>

1511
01:11:32,458 --> 01:11:36,582
<i>- ♪ From a loser ♪
- ♪ Take it from a loser ♪</i>

1512
01:11:36,583 --> 01:11:40,540
<i>- ♪ Why don't you take it ♪
- ♪ Take it, take it ♪</i>

1513
01:11:40,541 --> 01:11:42,957
<i>- ♪ From a loser ♪
- ♪ Take it from ♪</i>

1514
01:11:42,958 --> 01:11:47,749
<i>- ♪ A loser ♪
- ♪ Take it from someone who knows ♪</i>

1515
01:11:47,750 --> 01:11:51,041
All right, Marcus,
remember, if I make this, you get an H.

1516
01:11:53,666 --> 01:11:54,624
Yo, Rudd!

1517
01:11:54,625 --> 01:11:55,832
No way!

1518
01:11:55,833 --> 01:11:58,749
- Who's that guy?
- Oh, that's my older brother, Josh.

1519
01:11:58,750 --> 01:12:01,415
He's home from college
and interning at Goldman Sachs.

1520
01:12:01,416 --> 01:12:05,665
He can bench press his own body weight
and has sex with girls.

1521
01:12:05,666 --> 01:12:07,665
- He's the coolest.
- Cooler than you?

1522
01:12:07,666 --> 01:12:10,749
Let's go! I need you to help me
get into a high school party.

1523
01:12:10,750 --> 01:12:13,624
- Sorry, Marcus, I gotta go.
- Same time next week?

1524
01:12:13,625 --> 01:12:15,624
Uh, yeah. For sure, dude. I'll call you.

1525
01:12:19,000 --> 01:12:20,208
Who the fuck was that?

1526
01:12:20,708 --> 01:12:23,415
Just some dumb charity thing
I'm doing for college.

1527
01:12:23,416 --> 01:12:27,165
<i>- ♪ Take it from a loser ♪
- ♪ Take it from a loser ♪</i>

1528
01:12:27,166 --> 01:12:29,332
<i>- ♪ Why don't you take it ♪
- ♪ Take it ♪</i>

1529
01:12:29,333 --> 01:12:31,540
<i>- ♪ Why don't you take it ♪
- ♪ Mm-hmm ♪</i>

1530
01:12:31,541 --> 01:12:33,790
<i>- ♪ Take it from a loser ♪
- ♪ Take it from ♪</i>

1531
01:12:33,791 --> 01:12:38,333
<i>- ♪ A loser ♪
- ♪ Take it from someone who knows ♪</i>

1532
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:41,791
<i>♪ Oh yeah ♪</i>

1533
01:12:49,916 --> 01:12:50,749
Yeah?

1534
01:12:50,750 --> 01:12:53,290
Hey, Big Brother of the Year!

1535
01:12:54,583 --> 01:12:57,332
Just checking in,
making sure you're all set for tomorrow.

1536
01:12:57,333 --> 01:12:59,875
You're still coming to that?
I thought I ruined everything.

1537
01:13:00,958 --> 01:13:02,832
- Wha... what do you mean?
- Huh?

1538
01:13:02,833 --> 01:13:05,165
I don't know.
Destroying Marcus in front of everyone?

1539
01:13:05,166 --> 01:13:07,374
Putting my brother in the hospital?
Oh.

1540
01:13:07,375 --> 01:13:09,540
Oh, that. Yeah, hey, you're all good.

1541
01:13:09,541 --> 01:13:12,374
I mean, it's a villain edit for sure.

1542
01:13:12,375 --> 01:13:16,165
- It was giving demonic, sociopath.
- Oof!

1543
01:13:16,166 --> 01:13:18,915
It was like,
"Who raised this monster?" honestly.

1544
01:13:18,916 --> 01:13:19,832
Tough to watch.

1545
01:13:19,833 --> 01:13:23,499
<i>But</i> the network is loving it.
They're eating it up.

1546
01:13:23,500 --> 01:13:26,124
The only problem is,
we don't really have an ending.

1547
01:13:26,125 --> 01:13:27,040
Hmm.

1548
01:13:27,041 --> 01:13:30,624
And the only thing that
audiences love more than an iconic villain

1549
01:13:30,625 --> 01:13:32,040
is a redemption moment.

1550
01:13:32,041 --> 01:13:36,040
<i>And so we think Marcus giving you
the Big Brother of the Year Award</i>

1551
01:13:36,041 --> 01:13:39,624
<i>is the perfect ending
to your season arc, brother.</i>

1552
01:13:39,625 --> 01:13:40,582
Yeah.

1553
01:13:40,583 --> 01:13:42,749
You know,
after what I did the other night,

1554
01:13:42,750 --> 01:13:44,832
I don't think
Marcus is gonna be there, so...

1555
01:13:44,833 --> 01:13:46,624
<i>Let us worry about that.</i>

1556
01:13:46,625 --> 01:13:49,375
<i>Yeah, we...
we've been in this situation before.</i>

1557
01:13:50,208 --> 01:13:51,957
You have? It seems very specific.

1558
01:13:51,958 --> 01:13:53,915
<i>We'll handle
the Marcus of it all.</i>

1559
01:13:53,916 --> 01:13:56,415
<i>You just show up and be your great self.</i>

1560
01:13:56,416 --> 01:13:59,832
- Get excited. All right?
- Okay, we view you as family, for real.

1561
01:13:59,833 --> 01:14:01,249
- For real. We love you.
- Love ya.

1562
01:14:01,250 --> 01:14:03,624
If you need anything, call my assistant.

1563
01:14:16,500 --> 01:14:17,625
Jesus.

1564
01:14:19,625 --> 01:14:21,499
<i>Dear Rudd,
thanks for your last email.</i>

1565
01:14:21,500 --> 01:14:25,624
<i>Your words were super comforting
during the eviction and the trial.</i>

1566
01:14:25,625 --> 01:14:28,124
<i>You're the best big bro
a guy could ask for.</i>

1567
01:14:28,125 --> 01:14:31,790
<i>Rudd, big bro, how you living?
Thanks for the advice you gave me. The</i>...

1568
01:14:31,791 --> 01:14:33,707
<i>Well, I was in another plane crash,</i>

1569
01:14:33,708 --> 01:14:37,707
<i>and I'm once again
having major survivor's guilt. F my life.</i>

1570
01:14:37,708 --> 01:14:39,999
<i>Hey, brother.
I just feel really alone right now.</i>

1571
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:41,415
<i>So grateful I can lean on you.</i>

1572
01:14:41,416 --> 01:14:42,749
<i>Dude! Guess what, Rudd.</i>

1573
01:14:42,750 --> 01:14:44,499
<i>I saw a horse the other day,</i>

1574
01:14:44,500 --> 01:14:47,290
<i>and it reminded me
of when we played Horse.</i>

1575
01:14:47,291 --> 01:14:49,957
<i>Remember how I thought
it was called "Whores"?</i>

1576
01:14:50,875 --> 01:14:54,124
<i>First thing I'm doing next time
I see you is challenge you to a rematch</i>

1577
01:14:54,125 --> 01:14:55,082
<i>on the courts.</i>

1578
01:14:55,083 --> 01:14:58,665
<i>Hey, Rudd. I'm so grateful
to be able to call you my brother,</i>

1579
01:14:58,666 --> 01:15:01,040
<i>the only family that hasn't abandoned me.</i>

1580
01:15:01,041 --> 01:15:03,415
<i>Brothers for life.</i>

1581
01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:06,666
<i>Brothers for life.</i>

1582
01:15:33,625 --> 01:15:36,874
Boys, I really appreciate
you being here for me for my big speech.

1583
01:15:36,875 --> 01:15:39,540
We're not here for you.
We're here for Mom.

1584
01:15:39,541 --> 01:15:42,165
Yeah, to be honest, we're not psyched
about you accepting an award

1585
01:15:42,166 --> 01:15:44,624
for helping a guy
whose life you ruined, so...

1586
01:15:44,625 --> 01:15:46,999
I'll admit, not my finest moment.

1587
01:15:47,000 --> 01:15:48,915
But they say
Marcus is gonna be here today,

1588
01:15:48,916 --> 01:15:51,040
so maybe we patch things up
and move forward.

1589
01:15:51,041 --> 01:15:52,833
We're gonna go find seats.

1590
01:15:58,500 --> 01:15:59,957
And everybody's happy.

1591
01:16:02,041 --> 01:16:04,540
Amazing. Hon, you did such a great job.

1592
01:16:04,541 --> 01:16:05,875
Yeah. Thanks.

1593
01:16:08,958 --> 01:16:10,666
I know you were looking forward to this.

1594
01:16:11,166 --> 01:16:14,500
- If what I did took away from that--
- Oh, I'm... I'm used to it.

1595
01:16:15,000 --> 01:16:18,833
Right back where I started,
throwing a big event for a fake cause.

1596
01:16:19,333 --> 01:16:20,625
Enjoy your night.

1597
01:16:24,625 --> 01:16:26,790
- There you are.
- Hey. You seen Marcus?

1598
01:16:26,791 --> 01:16:30,665
No. I wouldn't be surprised
if he never wants to see me ever again.

1599
01:16:30,666 --> 01:16:32,457
Really? I thought you two hit it off.

1600
01:16:32,458 --> 01:16:36,875
He liked me. But he was
still just getting to know me.

1601
01:16:37,541 --> 01:16:39,249
He <i>loved</i> you.

1602
01:16:40,833 --> 01:16:42,916
Oh, you made it! I'm so happy you're here.

1603
01:16:43,708 --> 01:16:44,708
Marcus?

1604
01:16:49,083 --> 01:16:51,124
Marcus, I'm so glad you're here.

1605
01:16:51,125 --> 01:16:53,540
Of course, big bro.
Wouldn't miss it for the world.

1606
01:16:53,541 --> 01:16:56,165
Oh, look at you two getting along already.
I love it.

1607
01:16:56,166 --> 01:16:57,582
Yeah, but that's not Marcus.

1608
01:16:57,583 --> 01:16:59,665
What are you, the cops?

1609
01:16:59,666 --> 01:17:00,874
No, it's a body double.

1610
01:17:00,875 --> 01:17:03,499
He's gonna hand you your award on stage,

1611
01:17:03,500 --> 01:17:06,124
and then we are going to
paste Marcus's real face

1612
01:17:06,125 --> 01:17:08,082
right onto him using VFX.

1613
01:17:08,083 --> 01:17:10,165
- You can do that?
- "You can do that?"

1614
01:17:11,458 --> 01:17:12,832
Yeah, we can do that.

1615
01:17:12,833 --> 01:17:15,707
Most of the Oscar speeches you see,
people are busy, so it's just that.

1616
01:17:15,708 --> 01:17:18,207
We do that.
So he's going to give you your award.

1617
01:17:18,208 --> 01:17:20,624
You're gonna make your speech,
then Marcus here

1618
01:17:20,625 --> 01:17:22,999
is gonna give you a big ol' hug and say...

1619
01:17:23,000 --> 01:17:24,040
Love you, big bro.

1620
01:17:24,041 --> 01:17:26,749
Aw!
"Love you, big bro." I'm crying.

1621
01:17:26,750 --> 01:17:30,083
- And the Internet goes crazy.
- Talk about a viral moment.

1622
01:17:30,875 --> 01:17:33,915
You know, it's for the best
that Matilda broke up with me,

1623
01:17:33,916 --> 01:17:36,207
'cause dating a rock was so hard.

1624
01:17:36,208 --> 01:17:38,624
But this new relationship,

1625
01:17:38,625 --> 01:17:41,582
it's so much sexually softer,

1626
01:17:41,583 --> 01:17:42,832
and the smell...

1627
01:17:42,833 --> 01:17:46,165
Oh, okay. Okay, Keith.
That's a... that's a great... great share.

1628
01:17:46,166 --> 01:17:49,582
Um, let's hit the pause button on that.
To be continued, yeah?

1629
01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:52,374
Oh Jesus!

1630
01:17:52,375 --> 01:17:54,165
Ow.

1631
01:17:54,166 --> 01:17:55,458
- Ow.
- Marcus?

1632
01:17:55,958 --> 01:17:57,790
We've been over this.

1633
01:17:57,791 --> 01:17:59,874
- We can't readmit you.
- Why not?

1634
01:17:59,875 --> 01:18:02,582
We just finished repairing
the other ceiling you destroyed.

1635
01:18:02,583 --> 01:18:04,707
Why didn't you just
walk through the front door?

1636
01:18:04,708 --> 01:18:07,165
I told you. I was trying to sneak back in.

1637
01:18:07,166 --> 01:18:09,207
You didn't need to sneak out
in the first place.

1638
01:18:09,208 --> 01:18:11,415
You were here voluntarily.

1639
01:18:11,416 --> 01:18:13,249
Doc, I feel like
you're not listening to me.

1640
01:18:13,250 --> 01:18:16,499
No, you're not listening.
Look, I know you've had a hard life.

1641
01:18:16,500 --> 01:18:18,332
But there's nothing
medically wrong with you.

1642
01:18:18,333 --> 01:18:21,249
You're just... kinda weird
and extremely lonely.

1643
01:18:21,250 --> 01:18:23,708
Are you kidding me?
Look at me. I'm a mess.

1644
01:18:24,291 --> 01:18:26,999
I went out, and society chewed me up
and it spit me out.

1645
01:18:27,000 --> 01:18:29,249
I need you, Doc. I need help.

1646
01:18:29,250 --> 01:18:30,415
- I'll suck your dick.
- What?

1647
01:18:30,416 --> 01:18:32,374
I'll suck your dick. Look away!

1648
01:18:32,375 --> 01:18:34,374
- I'll suck it.
- Marcus. Marcus, listen to me.

1649
01:18:34,375 --> 01:18:37,249
Barring some sort of psychotic break...

1650
01:18:37,250 --> 01:18:39,832
...there... there's really nothing I can do.

1651
01:18:39,833 --> 01:18:40,790
- Okay?
- Okay.

1652
01:18:40,791 --> 01:18:43,082
- I want you to stand up.
- Sorry. That was inappropriate.

1653
01:18:43,083 --> 01:18:44,290
- I'm getting up.
- All right.

1654
01:18:44,291 --> 01:18:45,499
I'm okay.

1655
01:18:45,500 --> 01:18:47,457
- Okay.
- And I'm walking away.

1656
01:18:47,458 --> 01:18:48,875
Good. Good.

1657
01:18:51,625 --> 01:18:53,040
No, no, no!

1658
01:18:54,208 --> 01:18:55,457
Not again.

1659
01:18:57,125 --> 01:18:58,207
- How's this, Doc?
- Marcus.

1660
01:18:58,208 --> 01:19:00,290
Is this "psychotic break" enough for you?

1661
01:19:00,291 --> 01:19:03,332
I'm fucking loco, <i>ese</i>!
Fuck me.

1662
01:19:03,333 --> 01:19:06,707
I am honored
to be giving out such a special award,

1663
01:19:06,708 --> 01:19:11,457
one that only goes
to the most deserving of Big Brothers.

1664
01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:17,250
Someone who's dependable, humble,
and always puts his Little Brother first.

1665
01:19:17,750 --> 01:19:21,540
A man who would never turn his back
on someone in need...

1666
01:19:21,541 --> 01:19:24,790
- Hey, looking good, Uncle Josh.
- ...even if doing so would benefit him...

1667
01:19:24,791 --> 01:19:27,665
Doctors say
I'm gonna make a full recovery.

1668
01:19:27,666 --> 01:19:29,082
Oh, what is that thing?

1669
01:19:29,083 --> 01:19:31,166
Electrolarynx.

1670
01:19:31,666 --> 01:19:33,124
Only temporary.

1671
01:19:33,125 --> 01:19:35,790
But it's the same one Michael Douglas used

1672
01:19:35,791 --> 01:19:39,457
after he got throat cancer
from eating his wife's pussy.

1673
01:19:41,041 --> 01:19:43,750
Yeah.
But not my husband, my Rudd.

1674
01:19:44,250 --> 01:19:47,374
So please welcome
our Big Brother of the Year,

1675
01:19:47,375 --> 01:19:49,249
Rudd Landy.

1676
01:20:04,166 --> 01:20:05,541
Love you, big bro.

1677
01:20:07,583 --> 01:20:10,707
Thank you, Deirdre,
for that incredibly gracious introduction.

1678
01:20:10,708 --> 01:20:14,125
Thank you, Big Brothers, Little Brothers,
for honoring me with this award.

1679
01:20:16,041 --> 01:20:19,416
Thank you, Marcus,
for coming into my life.

1680
01:20:20,166 --> 01:20:21,374
And I mean, look at us.

1681
01:20:21,375 --> 01:20:24,124
All these years later
and our bond couldn't be stronger.

1682
01:20:24,125 --> 01:20:27,582
Heck, sometimes I forget
we aren't actual brothers.

1683
01:20:47,416 --> 01:20:48,583
I can't do this.

1684
01:20:51,750 --> 01:20:53,790
Everything I just said was bullshit.

1685
01:20:53,791 --> 01:20:56,875
- What is he doing? What's happening?
- What the fuck is he doing?

1686
01:20:57,916 --> 01:21:01,333
Marcus has been failed
by a lot of people over the years.

1687
01:21:04,416 --> 01:21:06,083
I think I might be the worst of all.

1688
01:21:10,458 --> 01:21:11,665
My whole life,

1689
01:21:11,666 --> 01:21:13,832
I've been obsessed
with earning the respect

1690
01:21:13,833 --> 01:21:15,208
of my own big brother.

1691
01:21:18,125 --> 01:21:19,583
My brother, Josh,

1692
01:21:20,666 --> 01:21:22,874
is one of the most impressive people
I've ever met.

1693
01:21:24,916 --> 01:21:26,500
From the moment I could walk,

1694
01:21:27,875 --> 01:21:30,250
all I just wanted to do
was earn his approval.

1695
01:21:31,833 --> 01:21:34,458
Man, even when I had it,
I couldn't see it.

1696
01:21:35,041 --> 01:21:38,500
That man checked himself out
of the hospital, that I put him in,

1697
01:21:39,375 --> 01:21:41,166
just to be here for me today.

1698
01:21:42,875 --> 01:21:45,875
The truth is, he never cared
about how successful I was.

1699
01:21:47,916 --> 01:21:49,333
Neither did Marcus...

1700
01:21:51,875 --> 01:21:53,083
or my wife, Deirdre...

1701
01:21:55,041 --> 01:21:58,625
who stood by me, even though
I became somebody she didn't recognize.

1702
01:22:00,041 --> 01:22:02,957
And, gosh, that type of love
is easy to take for granted, isn't it?

1703
01:22:04,416 --> 01:22:07,458
But unconditional love
is what being a brother is all about.

1704
01:22:09,500 --> 01:22:11,208
It's what being a family is all about.

1705
01:22:12,250 --> 01:22:13,958
God, Marcus understood that.

1706
01:22:15,625 --> 01:22:16,582
I didn't.

1707
01:22:20,125 --> 01:22:21,582
That's why I can't accept this award.

1708
01:22:25,750 --> 01:22:26,874
Hey, Rudd,

1709
01:22:26,875 --> 01:22:28,624
what the fuck are you doing?

1710
01:22:28,625 --> 01:22:31,415
Something I should've done a long
time ago. Get my car. Meet out front.

1711
01:22:31,416 --> 01:22:33,540
No, you need to get back out there.

1712
01:22:33,541 --> 01:22:36,916
That is not an ending.
You have an obligation to the show.

1713
01:22:38,041 --> 01:22:39,750
Fuck the show. I quit.

1714
01:22:41,083 --> 01:22:44,207
- Hon, I'm sorry I ruined your event.
- Oh, I'm so glad you did.

1715
01:22:48,541 --> 01:22:50,207
Deploy backup Rudd.

1716
01:22:54,916 --> 01:22:56,040
Love you, big bro.

1717
01:22:56,041 --> 01:22:57,750
- Love you too, man.
- Yeah.

1718
01:22:58,541 --> 01:23:02,165
I'd like to thank my wife, Deirdre,
for that incredibly gracious introduction.

1719
01:23:02,166 --> 01:23:04,499
I would also like to thank...

1720
01:23:07,125 --> 01:23:08,500
Rudd.

1721
01:23:09,458 --> 01:23:14,083
Seeing you open up like that in there
has given me the courage to say,

1722
01:23:14,958 --> 01:23:17,790
I've always been a little jealous of you.

1723
01:23:17,791 --> 01:23:21,375
- You, jealous of me?
- Oh, come on. Look at your life.

1724
01:23:21,875 --> 01:23:23,874
Look at this beautiful woman.

1725
01:23:23,875 --> 01:23:26,833
Two kick-ass kids. And what have I got?

1726
01:23:27,666 --> 01:23:30,665
A 19-million-dollar house.
Yeah.

1727
01:23:30,666 --> 01:23:32,457
And a McLaren P1.

1728
01:23:32,458 --> 01:23:35,707
And a different Instagram model
in my bed every night.

1729
01:23:35,708 --> 01:23:36,915
Two vineyards.

1730
01:23:36,916 --> 01:23:40,207
And a group chat
with Robert Downey Jr. and Simone Biles.

1731
01:23:40,208 --> 01:23:43,875
But what's important is what you have.

1732
01:23:44,583 --> 01:23:47,707
Your family, which is your legacy,

1733
01:23:47,708 --> 01:23:50,583
and I'm just glad to be a part of it.

1734
01:23:56,375 --> 01:23:57,540
Oh, hey.

1735
01:23:57,541 --> 01:23:59,165
I gotta go. Don't wait up.

1736
01:23:59,166 --> 01:24:00,416
Wait. Where are you going?

1737
01:24:01,375 --> 01:24:03,041
Going to get my little brother back.

1738
01:24:10,958 --> 01:24:12,915
I can't believe
you're letting me drive this thing.

1739
01:24:12,916 --> 01:24:14,833
Why? It's just a car.

1740
01:24:15,750 --> 01:24:18,291
So what's the plan?
He could literally be anywhere.

1741
01:24:19,875 --> 01:24:21,333
I think I know where he is.

1742
01:24:25,458 --> 01:24:27,625
Hey, roommate. I missed you.

1743
01:24:30,208 --> 01:24:31,250
Whoa. Who's that?

1744
01:24:35,208 --> 01:24:36,374
Jesus!

1745
01:24:36,375 --> 01:24:38,540
It's you, but made from lunch meat.

1746
01:24:38,541 --> 01:24:41,791
I have to do a new one every week,
or it attracts vermin.

1747
01:24:42,958 --> 01:24:47,375
That is the sweetest thing
anyone's ever done for me.

1748
01:24:50,166 --> 01:24:53,791
Man, you feel so much better
than roast beef.

1749
01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:56,624
I gave you a vagina.

1750
01:25:16,541 --> 01:25:17,583
Shit!

1751
01:25:18,166 --> 01:25:19,165
It's locked.

1752
01:25:19,166 --> 01:25:22,416
I guess I'll book us a hotel,
and we'll come back in the morning?

1753
01:25:24,458 --> 01:25:25,457
Rudd?

1754
01:25:27,125 --> 01:25:27,999
Rudd?

1755
01:25:34,958 --> 01:25:36,165
Marcus?

1756
01:25:36,166 --> 01:25:37,166
Marcus?

1757
01:25:39,708 --> 01:25:40,875
Marcus?

1758
01:25:41,625 --> 01:25:43,250
Ah, shit.

1759
01:25:46,791 --> 01:25:49,040
- Sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.

1760
01:25:49,041 --> 01:25:51,375
I'm so territorial about my window.

1761
01:25:51,875 --> 01:25:53,166
It's my toxic trait.

1762
01:25:53,791 --> 01:25:56,499
Who are you looking for?
Marcus Pinchel.

1763
01:25:56,500 --> 01:25:59,249
- Three windows over, one up.
- Thanks.

1764
01:26:02,750 --> 01:26:03,666
Shit.

1765
01:26:08,958 --> 01:26:10,832
Someone's climbing up the wall.

1766
01:26:10,833 --> 01:26:13,582
Mm. Let me guess. It's the Grinch again?

1767
01:26:13,583 --> 01:26:16,624
No, not this time. It's a big, strong guy.

1768
01:26:16,625 --> 01:26:17,540
Rudd?

1769
01:26:20,791 --> 01:26:21,916
What does he want?

1770
01:26:23,958 --> 01:26:25,790
Marcus wants to know
what you want.

1771
01:26:25,791 --> 01:26:26,999
Tell him I wanna talk.

1772
01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:28,957
He wants me to burn down my high school.

1773
01:26:28,958 --> 01:26:29,957
What?

1774
01:26:29,958 --> 01:26:31,832
I'm coming in.

1775
01:26:31,833 --> 01:26:33,457
Whoa.

1776
01:26:33,458 --> 01:26:34,790
Jesus.

1777
01:26:38,166 --> 01:26:39,875
Okay, where are the cameras?

1778
01:26:40,583 --> 01:26:41,583
No cameras.

1779
01:26:42,166 --> 01:26:43,000
Just me.

1780
01:26:43,875 --> 01:26:47,000
S... so, what?
You finally feel bad for me or something?

1781
01:26:47,500 --> 01:26:49,874
Well, don't worry.
I'm right where I belong.

1782
01:26:49,875 --> 01:26:51,249
I don't need your pity.

1783
01:26:51,250 --> 01:26:53,208
I'm not here to pity you, Marcus.

1784
01:26:54,166 --> 01:26:55,500
I just wanna talk.

1785
01:26:57,708 --> 01:27:00,416
Look, I don't know
what came over me with this show.

1786
01:27:01,500 --> 01:27:04,166
I've just always wanted my brother
to look at me a certain way.

1787
01:27:06,791 --> 01:27:10,499
The truth is... and I didn't realize it
until you were gone,

1788
01:27:10,500 --> 01:27:12,541
but the way I want Josh to see me

1789
01:27:14,250 --> 01:27:15,583
is the way you see me.

1790
01:27:17,916 --> 01:27:20,583
I've been looking for it
ever since I was a kid.

1791
01:27:21,083 --> 01:27:23,166
It's been in front of me the whole time.

1792
01:27:25,750 --> 01:27:27,791
You're the brother
I always wanted, Marcus.

1793
01:27:32,791 --> 01:27:35,125
I'm just sorry
I hadn't been there for you.

1794
01:27:36,916 --> 01:27:39,541
And I'm not just talking about
these past few months.

1795
01:27:41,833 --> 01:27:44,250
And-And I'm sorry I wasn't there
when your parents died,

1796
01:27:45,625 --> 01:27:47,958
and you had to move into
that orphanage in Dunbar.

1797
01:27:53,041 --> 01:27:54,541
You read my emails?

1798
01:27:55,291 --> 01:27:56,666
Every single one of 'em.

1799
01:27:59,791 --> 01:28:01,708
I'm sorry you lost your brother, Manny.

1800
01:28:03,416 --> 01:28:05,625
You had to go through
the pain of that all alone.

1801
01:28:06,541 --> 01:28:08,958
Yeah. Manny was my best friend.

1802
01:28:11,000 --> 01:28:13,125
I never got to tell him I loved him.

1803
01:28:15,583 --> 01:28:17,333
Well, I'm not trying to replace him.

1804
01:28:18,666 --> 01:28:21,000
But I want you to know
that from here on out,

1805
01:28:22,458 --> 01:28:23,666
I'm there for you,

1806
01:28:24,875 --> 01:28:25,708
brother.

1807
01:28:27,541 --> 01:28:31,000
- I thought you said we weren't brothers.
- Yeah, I said a lot of stupid shit.

1808
01:28:33,750 --> 01:28:34,750
But you and I,

1809
01:28:36,208 --> 01:28:37,415
we're brothers for life.

1810
01:28:37,416 --> 01:28:39,333
Don't say it if you don't mean it.

1811
01:28:39,958 --> 01:28:41,082
Wouldn't dare.

1812
01:28:41,083 --> 01:28:44,082
Well, then, can you say it again?
'Cause I really liked hearing it.

1813
01:28:46,541 --> 01:28:47,750
Brothers for life.

1814
01:28:53,458 --> 01:28:54,916
Brothers for life.

1815
01:28:57,708 --> 01:28:58,707
All righty.

1816
01:29:01,875 --> 01:29:03,916
- Good luck.
- See you, Doc.

1817
01:29:04,833 --> 01:29:05,874
Hi.

1818
01:29:05,875 --> 01:29:07,708
Hey, Marcus.

1819
01:29:08,375 --> 01:29:10,750
There's something I need to say to you.

1820
01:29:12,291 --> 01:29:13,291
Yeah.

1821
01:29:17,041 --> 01:29:20,082
I'm... not a perfect person.

1822
01:29:21,416 --> 01:29:25,125
There's many things I wish... I didn't do.

1823
01:29:26,791 --> 01:29:28,875
But I continue learning.

1824
01:29:30,166 --> 01:29:32,582
I never meant to do those things to you.

1825
01:29:34,916 --> 01:29:37,582
And so, I have to say before I go...

1826
01:29:39,541 --> 01:29:44,416
<i>♪ That I just want you to know ♪</i>

1827
01:29:44,958 --> 01:29:49,250
<i>♪ I found a reason for me ♪</i>

1828
01:29:50,541 --> 01:29:54,708
<i>♪ To change who I used to be ♪</i>

1829
01:29:56,375 --> 01:30:00,332
<i>♪ A reason to start over new ♪</i>

1830
01:30:03,166 --> 01:30:05,040
<i>♪ And the reason is... ♪</i>

1831
01:30:13,708 --> 01:30:15,374
I'm sorry. I...

1832
01:30:15,375 --> 01:30:17,166
I can't do this right now, Mia.

1833
01:30:17,791 --> 01:30:22,749
I get it. It's gonna take some time
for me to earn back your trust.

1834
01:30:22,750 --> 01:30:24,124
What? No.

1835
01:30:24,125 --> 01:30:26,790
You kidding me?
We just nailed that whole moment.

1836
01:30:26,791 --> 01:30:29,290
We just sang a Hoobastank song together.

1837
01:30:29,291 --> 01:30:30,207
That was so hot.

1838
01:30:30,208 --> 01:30:32,582
We're gonna obliterate
each other's holes tonight.

1839
01:30:32,583 --> 01:30:35,665
Probably again in the morning.
That's gonna be a short session.

1840
01:30:35,666 --> 01:30:38,374
- I wanna walk crooked to work, girl.
- Yes, please.

1841
01:30:39,500 --> 01:30:43,999
It's just that, uh... Rudd and I have
some unfinished business to attend to.

1842
01:30:48,833 --> 01:30:49,999
<i>♪ Me and baby brother ♪</i>

1843
01:30:50,000 --> 01:30:52,415
Okay, we got this, baby. I ain't scared.

1844
01:30:52,416 --> 01:30:53,957
You sure you wanna do this?

1845
01:30:53,958 --> 01:30:55,790
- Absolutely.
- Been waiting for a while, huh?

1846
01:30:55,791 --> 01:30:57,374
- Uh-huh.
- Okay, we'll start easy.

1847
01:30:57,375 --> 01:30:58,666
One foot, left-handed.

1848
01:31:00,833 --> 01:31:02,624
Okay. Beginner's luck.

1849
01:31:02,625 --> 01:31:04,124
It's okay. It's okay.

1850
01:31:04,125 --> 01:31:06,165
Too easy, big dog.
- I'm just warming up.

1851
01:31:06,166 --> 01:31:07,250
Check this out.

1852
01:31:07,958 --> 01:31:08,832
No!

1853
01:31:08,833 --> 01:31:09,874
Oh shit.
Fuck!

1854
01:31:09,875 --> 01:31:11,874
- Jesus. Marcus, you okay?
- Christ!

1855
01:31:11,875 --> 01:31:13,249
Oh my God.

1856
01:31:13,250 --> 01:31:14,457
Walk it off, baby.

1857
01:31:14,458 --> 01:31:16,790
- Redo, please.
- Yeah, yeah. Go ahead.

1858
01:31:16,791 --> 01:31:20,416
I'm not scared. I'm bringing
the thunder and the lightning.

1859
01:31:21,166 --> 01:31:23,457
Oh my God!
Oh shit.

1860
01:31:23,458 --> 01:31:25,165
- Jesus. Are you okay? Let's call it.
- Hoo!

1861
01:31:25,166 --> 01:31:27,124
No. Give me the goddamn ball.

1862
01:31:27,125 --> 01:31:28,249
- Okay.
- Check this out.

1863
01:31:28,250 --> 01:31:29,749
It's probably your concussion.

1864
01:31:29,750 --> 01:31:32,249
- Redo.
- Ah, shit. Redo. That was a warm-up.

1865
01:31:32,250 --> 01:31:34,207
Hee-yah! Dang it. Kobe!

1866
01:31:34,208 --> 01:31:37,332
Hang on. This basket's bad.
Something's up with it.

1867
01:31:37,333 --> 01:31:38,540
Did you notice?

1868
01:31:38,541 --> 01:31:39,874
Yes!

1869
01:31:39,875 --> 01:31:41,707
Oh. Whoo!
Nice!

1870
01:31:41,708 --> 01:31:43,957
C'mon, now. Come on, now.
All right.

1871
01:31:43,958 --> 01:31:46,499
It's all on you. Catch up.
Marcus!

1872
01:31:47,541 --> 01:31:49,458
<i>♪ Me and baby brother ♪</i>

1873
01:31:50,833 --> 01:31:52,750
<i>♪ Used to run together ♪</i>

1874
01:31:53,458 --> 01:31:56,040
<i>♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah ♪</i>

1875
01:31:56,041 --> 01:31:57,957
{\an8}<i>♪ Welcome one another... ♪</i>

1876
01:31:57,958 --> 01:32:00,583
{\an8}<i>Broker Brothers</i> commercial,
scene one, take one.

1877
01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:03,415
{\an8}- Hi. I'm Rudd Landy.
- And I'm Marcus Landy.

1878
01:32:03,416 --> 01:32:06,374
{\an8}And we're the Broker Brothers.
We put the "real" in real estate.

1879
01:32:06,375 --> 01:32:08,374
{\an8}And we can help <i>you</i> find your forever home

1880
01:32:08,375 --> 01:32:10,249
{\an8}or that perfect rental
that suits your needs.

1881
01:32:10,250 --> 01:32:11,707
{\an8}- Right, Marcus?
- That's right, Rudd.

1882
01:32:11,708 --> 01:32:14,957
{\an8}But keep in mind, nothing is forever,
and there's no such thing as perfect.

1883
01:32:14,958 --> 01:32:18,374
{\an8}Inevitably, we all meet our maker
in the end.

1884
01:32:18,375 --> 01:32:20,915
{\an8}Cut. Can we try a more upbeat version?

1885
01:32:20,916 --> 01:32:22,082
{\an8}I was trying to be real.

1886
01:32:22,083 --> 01:32:24,208
{\an8}- No. Let's just go again right away.
- Yeah.

1887
01:32:24,875 --> 01:32:26,125
{\an8}You want a back massage?

1888
01:32:27,458 --> 01:32:28,541
{\an8}Hard pass.

1889
01:32:29,958 --> 01:32:31,790
You could use a back massage.

1890
01:32:31,791 --> 01:32:33,624
And I studied in Bangkok.

1891
01:32:33,625 --> 01:32:35,540
It's gonna hurt for a while.

1892
01:32:35,541 --> 01:32:37,250
But you gotta trust me.

1893
01:32:38,208 --> 01:32:39,624
Whoa!

1894
01:32:42,166 --> 01:32:44,625
I'm sorry. I thought I saw you on fire.

1895
01:32:46,708 --> 01:32:48,040
Get in the fucking...

1896
01:32:51,166 --> 01:32:52,500
Thank... Oh.

1897
01:32:54,208 --> 01:32:57,374
Oh yeah. Call me the Trash Heap
from <i>Fraggle Rock.</i>

1898
01:32:57,375 --> 01:32:58,790
I don't know that reference.

1899
01:32:58,791 --> 01:33:01,749
Oh, well, it's Jim Henson's
lesser-known work!

1900
01:33:01,750 --> 01:33:03,790
Get on your knees, bitch.

1901
01:33:03,791 --> 01:33:05,541
You wanna be my toilet?

1902
01:33:07,333 --> 01:33:09,832
I'm sorry.
What was I... We'll go back into it.

1903
01:33:10,750 --> 01:33:13,249
<i>Broker Brothers</i> commercial,
scene one, take five.

1904
01:33:13,250 --> 01:33:14,874
Hi. I'm Rudd Landy.

1905
01:33:14,875 --> 01:33:18,040
And I'm Marcus Landy.
We are the Broker Brothers.

1906
01:33:18,041 --> 01:33:20,124
And if you don't like
the house we found for you,

1907
01:33:20,125 --> 01:33:21,790
we'll buy it back at double the price.

1908
01:33:21,791 --> 01:33:23,832
- No. Cut. Cut. We're not doing that.
- Why?

1909
01:33:23,833 --> 01:33:26,957
Boom in the shot.
- Oh shit. Sorry. My bad.

1910
01:33:26,958 --> 01:33:29,582
Fuck! Fuck. I'm a fucking idiot.

1911
01:33:29,583 --> 01:33:32,749
- You're doing amazing, okay? Just relax.
- You calling me a liar, bro?

1912
01:33:32,750 --> 01:33:34,457
- Yeah, I guess I am.
- Oh, you...

1913
01:33:34,458 --> 01:33:36,041
Guys...
Easy! Easy!

1914
01:33:36,666 --> 01:33:39,082
Meryl Streep hasn't given
an acceptance speech in 20 years.

1915
01:33:39,083 --> 01:33:41,832
It's a small Filipino man
who stands in for her,

1916
01:33:41,833 --> 01:33:43,665
and we paste her onto him.

1917
01:33:43,666 --> 01:33:44,582
And it works.

1918
01:33:44,583 --> 01:33:46,040
Let me spot you.

1919
01:33:46,041 --> 01:33:47,291
And three.

1920
01:33:48,208 --> 01:33:49,915
And... four.

1921
01:33:49,916 --> 01:33:53,165
And... I didn't brush my teeth.
I'm so sorry.

1922
01:33:53,166 --> 01:33:56,332
You are my rock,
my mountain. You are my everything.

1923
01:33:56,333 --> 01:33:57,499
- And--
- Get off of me!

1924
01:33:57,500 --> 01:33:58,999
Okay, all right. Okay.

1925
01:34:01,041 --> 01:34:02,040
Success!

1926
01:34:02,041 --> 01:34:03,415
Slightly to the left.

1927
01:34:03,416 --> 01:34:06,415
Camera left. Other way.
To your right a little bit.

1928
01:34:06,416 --> 01:34:08,374
God! Oh!
Can you get it in your mouth?

1929
01:34:09,875 --> 01:34:11,832
Ah, it's up my nose! It's in my no...

1930
01:34:13,166 --> 01:34:15,415
This is crude humor.

1931
01:34:15,416 --> 01:34:20,457
And I will not be a part of a project
with such disgusting taste.

1932
01:34:20,458 --> 01:34:22,624
This would pair nicely with Rudd's ass.

1933
01:34:23,958 --> 01:34:25,707
What else do you wanna do,
you little freak?

1934
01:34:25,708 --> 01:34:28,040
69, 72, 83.

1935
01:34:28,041 --> 01:34:29,415
I don't know any of those.

1936
01:34:29,416 --> 01:34:33,499
John Tesh composed
the <i>NBA on NBC</i> theme song on that piano.

1937
01:34:33,500 --> 01:34:35,332
And that song fucks.

1938
01:34:36,791 --> 01:34:39,833
<i>Broker Brothers</i> commercial,
scene one, take 39.

1939
01:34:40,333 --> 01:34:43,332
Broker Brothers
will out-muscle the competition!

1940
01:34:43,333 --> 01:34:46,999
We'll make sure you get
the most ripped, bulging...

1941
01:34:47,000 --> 01:34:49,290
Ah, cut, man. I can't do this.
Oh, really?

1942
01:34:49,291 --> 01:34:51,957
Aw, come on!
Don't be such a stick in the Rudd!

1943
01:34:54,708 --> 01:34:56,749
That was right under our nose
this whole time.

1944
01:34:58,291 --> 01:35:01,624
<i>On</i> NYC Hustlers<i>,
there's a new season</i>

1945
01:35:01,625 --> 01:35:03,999
<i>and a new reason for attitude</i>

1946
01:35:04,000 --> 01:35:05,915
<i>when we add two dudes.</i>

1947
01:35:05,916 --> 01:35:10,541
<i>There's never a dull "bro-ment"
when these two guys are around.</i>