1 00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:04,921 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:08,133 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:11,720 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,389 On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:18,018 Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:21,521 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,106 All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,941 Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:30,113 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,245 {\an8}The usual, fellas? 11 00:00:37,245 --> 00:00:38,455 {\an8}Hey, thanks, Jerome. 12 00:00:38,455 --> 00:00:41,124 {\an8}Whoa, Jerome, what's with the wheelchair? 13 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,752 {\an8}Well, it was date night with my lady friend. 14 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,795 {\an8}I put on some Teddy Pendergrass, 15 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,631 {\an8}one thing led to another, and we started making love 16 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,383 {\an8}halfway up the stairs. 17 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:53,219 {\an8}Then I lost my footing and tumbled down half a flight, 18 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,679 {\an8}buck naked. 19 00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:57,932 {\an8}Well, this is hardly dinner conversation. 20 00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,559 {\an8}Who's Teddy Pendergrass? 21 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:03,313 {\an8}He's America's number one cause of urgent lovemaking injuries. 22 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:06,066 {\an8}If you're not already in bed when Teddy starts singing, 23 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,193 {\an8}somebody's going to the E.R. 24 00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:11,613 {\an8}Anyway, I busted my knee really bad, 25 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,073 {\an8}so here I am. 26 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,991 {\an8}Aw, geez, that stinks, Jerome. 27 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:16,409 {\an8}How long you gonna be in that chair? 28 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,370 {\an8}Well, that's the problem. 29 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,331 {\an8}The doctor said I need surgery if I'm ever gonna walk again, 30 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,291 {\an8}but I can't afford it. 31 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,377 {\an8}Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do. 32 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,462 {\an8}I've got to get up on my feet again. 33 00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:29,005 {\an8}Relax, it's not so bad. 34 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:30,840 {\an8}I bet you're gonna discover some cool new things 35 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:32,676 {\an8}that you couldn't do when you were walking. 36 00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:35,011 {\an8}- Like what? - Well, have you yelled at someone 37 00:01:35,011 --> 00:01:36,846 {\an8}for using the handicapped stall yet? 38 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,974 That stall is for the differently-abled, you know. 39 00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,477 Well, how do you know it's not a handicapped person in there? 40 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:44,896 Look, no chair, no crutches. Whoever's in there 41 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:47,899 definitely shouldn't be! 42 00:01:47,899 --> 00:01:50,402 Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. 43 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:51,736 Yeah, sure you are. 44 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,321 Hey, you mind flushing for me, pal? 45 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:54,531 No arms over here. 46 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,866 Well, I suppose it's the least I could do. 47 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,827 Oh, my God, it's bigger than you. 48 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:06,251 Hey, can you guys hear me all right? 49 00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,627 - Yep. - Loud and clear. 50 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,004 Fr... in the computer. 51 00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,338 What-What'd you, what'd you say, Cleveland? 52 00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:11,423 - You're cutting in and out. - Damn it. 53 00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:12,882 It's his crappy Internet service. 54 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:15,051 - What does he have? - He hoarded a decade's worth 55 00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:18,680 of those "100 Free Hours" CDs AOL would send in the mail. 56 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,348 He's chipping away at 'em one at a time. 57 00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:22,225 Let me... 58 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:24,769 ...other room. 59 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:25,937 All right, we'll fill him in later. 60 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,147 Look, we got to help Jerome 61 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,648 pay for that surgery, you guys. 62 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,400 Yeah, but where are we gonna get that kind of money? 63 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,110 Hello? Hello? 64 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,112 Wait, what if we did some sort of fundraiser? 65 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,947 Donna, unplug everything. 66 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,199 I need the Internet. No, not tha... 67 00:02:38,199 --> 00:02:39,701 You know, the local firehouse made 68 00:02:39,701 --> 00:02:41,244 a sexy men in uniform calendar, 69 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,580 and it raised a ton of money. 70 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,331 Don't tell anybody, but I heard 71 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,834 not all 12 of those guys were from Quahog. 72 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,170 I-- Who-who would we tell that to? 73 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,131 I don't know. I'm just saying... don't. 74 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:54,716 That's actually not a bad idea. 75 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:56,718 We already got three men in uniform. 76 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:58,511 I'm on the roof now. Is that bet... 77 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,138 Bird. Bird. 78 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,849 Bird stole my laptop. 79 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,021 {\an8}All right, now remember, we're going for "sexy," 80 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,314 {\an8}so can you undo your shirt? 81 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,068 {\an8}There. 82 00:03:15,653 --> 00:03:17,113 {\an8}Joe, did you skip your nap? 83 00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,491 {\an8}I don't need a nap! You need a nap! 84 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:21,534 {\an8}I want to be done. 85 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,251 {\an8}Wait, Joe, Joe, look. Look over here. 86 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,837 {\an8} Who's that? 87 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,589 {\an8}This is our friend Leapy. 88 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,008 {\an8}Hey, Joe. Can you do me a favor? 89 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,135 {\an8}Okay. 90 00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:40,804 {\an8}Can you be a big boy 91 00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,764 {\an8}and unbutton your shirt for the picture? 92 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,891 {\an8} Yeah. 93 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,853 {\an8}Great, we're all done. 94 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,105 {\an8}Now take off your pants. 95 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,106 {\an8}What the hell? 96 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,273 {\an8}I said take 'em off. 97 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:54,234 {\an8}Joe, don't listen to Leapy. I was wrong. 98 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,861 {\an8}Leapy is not our friend. 99 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,661 {\an8}Yeah, that's good. 100 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:10,000 Okay, Cleveland, you're mostly out of shape. 101 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,420 Thankfully, all postmen have mountain climber leg muscles. 102 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,213 Those will be our focus here. 103 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,881 They really that strong-looking? 104 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,760 It's like a lady bodybuilder's boob. 105 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,762 I'm disgusted, but I can't look away. 106 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,264 All right, let's get started. 107 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,351 That's it. Now thigh me. 108 00:04:32,313 --> 00:04:35,442 There we go. Now throw that bad boy up on the mailbox. 109 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:38,945 Ah, you're a natural. 110 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:42,198 You're like Gisele, Beyoncé, and Naomi Campbell all in one. 111 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,408 You're Gisonmi. 112 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,286 That's it, Gisonmi. Gisonmi, yes. 113 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,371 - Gisonmi. - Hey, guys, 114 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,582 I'm just gonna go ahead and close this, okay? 115 00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,461 Getting my house assessed. 116 00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,641 - Here you go, fellas. - Hey, Jerome. 117 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:10,310 Great to see you back on your feet already. 118 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,854 You're telling me. That calendar of yours 119 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:15,357 paid for my surgery and then some. 120 00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,943 Consider your tab paid up for the whole month. 121 00:05:18,943 --> 00:05:21,529 Wow, did we really make that much money? 122 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,781 Who's buying all these? 123 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,074 Yeah, I figured just our friends 124 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,241 would buy 'em for a laugh. 125 00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,497 {\an8}Oh, yeah, we're having a laugh, all right. 126 00:05:30,497 --> 00:05:34,501 Might say everybody's having a ball, right, Mr. Brown? 127 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,718 What's going on here? Give me that. 128 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:47,472 All right, let's start at my navel and work down. 129 00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:51,476 Belt buckled at the third notch, per postal code regulation. 130 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,061 Shorts securely zipped. 131 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,979 Neatly-pressed crease running down to-- 132 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,148 my cocoa pebble! 133 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,484 - Let me see that. - Oh, yeah, that's a half-scrote 134 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:01,861 - bad dangle angle right there. - Oh, no, 135 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,698 the whole town's seen it. What am I gonna do? 136 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,199 Damn, Mr. Brown. 137 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,119 Larry Bird ought to be diving through here any second 138 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,037 'cause that's a loose ball. 139 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:14,624 Good job, sweetie. You're doing the work. 140 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,167 Aw, thanks, Dad. 141 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,795 I learned it all by watching YouTube videos of Les Dawson. 142 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,381 Who the hell is that? 143 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,300 Uh, 1960s British comic Les Dawson, 144 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:26,052 famous for his mother-in-law jokes? 145 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,138 Geez, Spencer, do the work. 146 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,776 You wanted to see me, sir? 147 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,987 Cleveland, let me ask you something. 148 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:46,364 Do you have a problem with the carrying capacity 149 00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:49,451 of your standard-issue S-1104 canvas satchel? 150 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:50,535 No, sir. 151 00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:53,121 I see. So then why, may I ask, 152 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,833 do you feel the need to carry around an extra sack?! 153 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,463 Sir, y-you don't understand. It was a mistake. 154 00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:02,881 You're damn right it was. 155 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:05,133 Your little mistake has made a complete mockery 156 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,968 of the United States Postal Service. 157 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:10,722 This is a noble institution that runs on dignity. 158 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:13,266 That's the reason people trusted us to deliver 159 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:17,187 free COVID tests several months after it was relevant. 160 00:07:17,187 --> 00:07:19,481 - But, sir, I... - No buts, Cleveland. 161 00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:22,734 You've left me no choice. You're fired. 162 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,820 Now turn in your safari hat and your ladies' Mace. 163 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,280 This is terrible. 164 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,949 I have such a hard time saying goodbye. 165 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,452 Guh-buh-buh. 166 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,662 Gah-bre-aye. 167 00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,882 Hey, chin up, Cleveland. I know you'll miss being a fireman. 168 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,217 - Mailman. - Mm-hmm. 169 00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,219 That job meant everything to me. 170 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,513 And what about all the people on my route? 171 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:53,431 There's gonna be a riot when my regulars 172 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,100 find out I've been replaced. 173 00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,144 - Hi. - Hi. 174 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,398 Huh. Mail before noon. 175 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,650 So, Cleveland, how's the job hunt going? 176 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:07,237 I can't even start till that damn bird brings my laptop back. 177 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,531 I wonder what he even uses it for. 178 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:17,664 Wow! Is that a third lead guitar? 179 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,666 Let me know in the comments, guys. 180 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:23,003 Oh, who am I kidding? You can't replace 181 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,672 working for the United States Postal Service. 182 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,841 I miss it already. 183 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,676 Oh, I feel useless. 184 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:31,886 Come on, Cleveland. You've been moping around all week. 185 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,179 You know what? Why don't you swing by 186 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,889 the brewery tomorrow? I'll buy you lunch. 187 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,559 Did you say an insensitive joke and now need to prove 188 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,811 to everyone that you have a Black friend? 189 00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:41,354 See you there, buddy. 190 00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,324 Thanks for letting me tag along at the brewery, Peter. 191 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,452 Feels good to have some routine again. 192 00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,454 Ah, crap, look at the line. 193 00:08:57,454 --> 00:08:59,789 Gonna take me forever to get to the microwave. 194 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,708 Peter, you have a salad. 195 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,585 Yeah, now I'm gonna have to eat it cold. 196 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,253 How am I supposed to work all day 197 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,422 without a belly full of hot salad? 198 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,049 Griffin. 199 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,633 What the hell is going on? 200 00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:12,052 We've got a dozen delivery trucks 201 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,720 that are days behind schedule. 202 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,889 I've got distributors lighting up my phone 203 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,390 like a Christmas phone. 204 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,309 I have a twinkly phone for the holidays. 205 00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,727 It's incredibly festive. 206 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,687 You know, I used to deliver the mail, 207 00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:25,565 so I know a thing or two about getting around town. 208 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,276 Mind if this goose takes a gander? 209 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,195 Hmm, well, for starters, 210 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,780 you've got your downtown deliveries 211 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:34,240 scheduled for Wednesday morning, but... 212 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,992 that's when the street sweepers come around 213 00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,494 and hog the right lane. 214 00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:40,455 You switch to the afternoon, you'll be done in half the time. 215 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:43,041 The street sweepers, of course. 216 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,459 What about the other deliveries? 217 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,795 Well, no wonder your eastbound trucks are late. 218 00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,714 That stretch of highway's been under construction for weeks. 219 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,549 That's why all the mail trucks use... 220 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,182 What a beautiful mind. 221 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,017 Oh, I didn't see that movie. 222 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,852 I only go to Spider-Mans. 223 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,023 ...last stop right across the river. 224 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,900 You got the toll bridge in the way, but, 225 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:11,778 nine times out of ten, the bridge guy's watching TikToks. 226 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,697 You just drive around, he don't know. 227 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:17,117 Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. What's your name? 228 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,827 Cleveland Brown, sir. 229 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,829 Mr. Brown, this operation 230 00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,748 could certainly use a man with your expertise. 231 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,251 How would you like a job here at the Pawtucket Brewery? 232 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,128 Really? All right! 233 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:30,422 Excellent. You start tomorrow. 234 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:33,049 - Hey, way to go, Cleveland. - Thanks, Peter. 235 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,802 Tonight, me and Donna are gonna celebrate, 236 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,554 romantically. 237 00:10:37,554 --> 00:10:39,681 And which Teddy Pendergrass song was playing? 238 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,516 "Turn Out the Lights." 239 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,518 Sir, ma'am, 240 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:46,521 you're both lucky to be alive. 241 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,360 All right, working with my best friend. 242 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,778 This is gonna be sweet. 243 00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:56,239 Just a heads up, I chew ice all day long, 244 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,700 and my computer goes "bonk" every three seconds. 245 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,577 I hope that doesn't bother you. 246 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,622 That's the bonk. 247 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:07,083 Yeah, uh, you, you think you could 248 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,668 keep the noise down, Peter? 249 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,670 It is my first day, after all, 250 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,756 and I want to get some work done. 251 00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,632 Tell you what, you can do all the work you want 252 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:18,553 right after we take turns telling scary work stories. 253 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,640 It was a night just like this. 254 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,643 And when the moon is full, if you close your eyes, 255 00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,812 you can still hear her voice. 256 00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,106 "Will you sponsor me 257 00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:32,192 for my 5K?" 258 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,278 Dang it, Peter. This is work, not a sleepover. 259 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,072 Now would you please get out of here? 260 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,282 My 10:00 meeting is about to start. 261 00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:41,951 Your meeting? But I thought we were gonna work together. 262 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,705 Yeah, well, I thought I'd tackle this one on my own. 263 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,833 But maybe you can get us some coffee? 264 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,712 ...touch base... 265 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,547 ...circle back... 266 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,299 ...put a pin in it... 267 00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:58,551 ...but that's Monday's problem. 268 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,559 Wait a minute, 269 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,562 these shipments should have gone out already. Hey, Peter. 270 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,482 All these trucks were supposed to be on the road hours ago. 271 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:14,526 Did you make any changes to my schedule? 272 00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,069 No. Oh, you know what? 273 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,862 Yeah, I added a new rule for safety. 274 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:20,115 The guys were slapping the back of the truck two times 275 00:12:20,115 --> 00:12:21,241 when it was all loaded up, 276 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,867 but then Smitty got his foot run over, 277 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,954 so now I told 'em to do 200 slaps, just to be safe. 278 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,508 - How many was that? - Uh, 35? 40? 279 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,927 I can't tell, we got, like, six other slappers going. 280 00:12:43,847 --> 00:12:45,682 Griffin, what's going on? 281 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,393 All of our weekly shipments are late, again. 282 00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:51,062 Mr. Lloyd, I think we can get back on track 283 00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,897 if we just optimize our load outs. 284 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,983 See, back in my mailman days, 285 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:57,610 we would pre-sort our deliveries by destination. 286 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,696 If we bundle the inventory by invoice 287 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,197 rather than by product type, 288 00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:03,533 it'll expedite the delivery out on the road. 289 00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:06,536 My goodness, why haven't we been doing that all along? 290 00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,580 Cleveland, you've proven yourself 291 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,707 invaluable to this organization. 292 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,543 I'm hereby promoting you to Vice Executive Managing Director 293 00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:15,337 in Charge of Lengthy Titles. 294 00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,339 Wow, thank you, sir. 295 00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,090 Hey, good for you, Cleveland. 296 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:21,426 Good for all of us. Good for this department. 297 00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,886 And as for you, Griffin, 298 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:26,056 I need you to clear your things out of your office. 299 00:13:26,056 --> 00:13:28,016 Cleveland is going to need more room 300 00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,018 to perform his managerial duties. 301 00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:31,436 Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute, 302 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:33,772 you're kicking me out of my own office? 303 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:36,441 You're not, uh, you're not replacing me, are you? 304 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,443 Oh, no, we're just doing 305 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,612 a little... restructuring. 306 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:43,698 Besides, you won't need an office for your new assignment. 307 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:46,159 I'm putting you in charge of kitchen banter. 308 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,828 What you got there? Little jet fuel? 309 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,081 Little java? Little jitter juice? 310 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,916 I'll take a top-off, if you don't mind. 311 00:13:52,916 --> 00:13:55,418 Yeah, don't talk to me till I've had my coffee, right? 312 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,924 Hey, how come you were only pregnant for four months? 313 00:14:00,924 --> 00:14:02,509 - Griffin. - Sorry, it's my first day. 314 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:11,559 Look, I know this is awkward, celebrating Cleveland 315 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,103 getting promoted over you, 316 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,271 so we don't have to stay long if you don't want. 317 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,357 Eh, it's one night, I'll be fine. 318 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,818 Wait, Peter, where's the bottle of wine I told you to bring? 319 00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:22,070 Cleveland makes more money than me now, Lois. 320 00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,406 That means we're sneaking groceries out of this party, 321 00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,782 not bringing 'em in. 322 00:14:25,782 --> 00:14:27,742 Can you fit ketchup in that purse? We're all out. 323 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,744 Damn it. We can't show up to a dinner party 324 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:33,415 without a $14 empty gesture. It's improper. 325 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,166 We need to give them something. 326 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,752 Fine. Here. 327 00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:40,630 We brought these. 328 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,090 - Oh. - What? 329 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:44,801 It's... (sighs) It's nothing. 330 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,804 I guess I just miss being the one handing out the mail. 331 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,932 I'm sorry, they're lovely. 332 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:54,811 Mm. That Lands' End lady-pants catalog 333 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,938 had quite a bloom this year. 334 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:59,190 ♪ ♪ 335 00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:02,318 Then I said, "Ain't that the punch line to an anecdote." 336 00:15:04,362 --> 00:15:05,822 So, what does this promotion mean? 337 00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,198 Are you, like, Peter's boss now? 338 00:15:07,198 --> 00:15:09,075 We're all on the same team. 339 00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:10,702 Ah, that means yes. 340 00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:13,580 Hey, Cleveland, how about a quick speech for our guests? 341 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,790 Yeah, speech, speech! 342 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:18,084 Or maybe just cover it in a group text later. 343 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:20,253 All right, all right, settle down. 344 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,422 I'd like to thank y'all for coming tonight 345 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,841 to celebrate my new job at the brewery. 346 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,926 It ain't as good as delivering bills, 347 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:29,095 but it sure does pay the bills. 348 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:33,850 - What a great speech. - He's so important now. 349 00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:36,436 Do you think it's okay I used the upstairs bathroom? 350 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,608 It was bad enough with Mr. Lloyd thinking 351 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:44,235 Cleveland's better than me. Now it's all our friends, too. 352 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:46,279 Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself. 353 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,656 You think I'm thrilled my husband got demoted? 354 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:50,450 Bonnie's already rented one of those cars 355 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,743 with a loudspeaker on top. 356 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:53,328 She's telling everyone. 357 00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:54,829 People of Spooner Street, 358 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,915 Lois's husband got demoted. 359 00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,541 They're poorer now. 360 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:02,045 Repeat, Lois's family is now poorer. 361 00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:03,963 Use this as motivation. 362 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,507 Think of how good it'll feel 363 00:16:05,507 --> 00:16:08,009 to prove your friends and Mr. Lloyd wrong. 364 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,804 Now I'm gonna take an incredibly quick lady dump. 365 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:12,972 - Prove 'em wrong, huh? - Done. 366 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,726 That's exactly what I'll do. 367 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,812 I bet they won't think Cleveland's so great 368 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:20,188 when I get him fired. 369 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:24,025 Hey, Dad, how's it going? Have fun at the Browns'? 370 00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:26,486 I couldn't steal the ketchup. There were eyes on me all night. 371 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:28,446 - Son of a bitch! - There he is. 372 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,491 - He didn't get the ketchup. - Damn it! 373 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,327 Hey, these chicken nuggies are bone-dry. 374 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,121 What did he say about the ketchup? 375 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:47,048 What's going on? Why'd everything stop? 376 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:50,218 Hello, I'm Inspector Daniels from the Health Department. 377 00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:53,388 That's a backstage pass from a Muse concert. 378 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,724 Huh, I guess it is, isn't it? 379 00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:57,892 I received an anonymous tip that there's a rat 380 00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:00,395 nesting in the main beer tank. I'm here to check it out. 381 00:17:00,395 --> 00:17:02,564 - What's this now? - Well, I sure hope not. 382 00:17:02,564 --> 00:17:05,942 I'd lose my job if there was any filth of that nature going on. 383 00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,787 Hmm, maybe I misheard the tipster. 384 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,665 Yeah, ears haven't really been the same since I saw Muse 385 00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,625 from basically as close as you're allowed to get. 386 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:23,877 I'll try him back. 387 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,547 Rat-a-tat-tat, you've reached Peter the rat. 388 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,509 Well, I'm sorry someone wasted your time, 389 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:34,512 but as you can see, everything here is up to code. 390 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,056 Have a good day. 391 00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:39,601 I found your rat in the tank during my rounds this morning. 392 00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:43,271 - Why'd you do it, Peter? - I'm sorry. 393 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,440 It's just, with you doing so well at the brewery, 394 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,275 I felt like a joke. 395 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,402 I knew I was never gonna be a big shot here, 396 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,864 but I liked playing my small part to help make this beer. 397 00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:55,617 Before you started, that small part felt like enough. 398 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:59,162 Griffin, I was just informed that you tried to sabotage 399 00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:01,664 this operation by putting vermin in the beer tank. 400 00:18:01,664 --> 00:18:04,209 This is the last straw, Griffin. 401 00:18:04,209 --> 00:18:06,002 You are fired. 402 00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:09,714 Fine. I'm not good enough for this place anyway. 403 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,511 Wait. 404 00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,846 You can't fire Peter, sir. 405 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,683 - And why's that? - Because you need him. 406 00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:22,519 Sure, companies need some people to work hard 407 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,896 and go the extra mile, but more than that, 408 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:26,564 they need guys like Peter, 409 00:18:26,564 --> 00:18:29,317 regular guys who are happy to do a thankless job 410 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:32,487 for a mediocre salary, day in and day out, 411 00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,906 so long as that day ends with a cold beer 412 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:37,158 and a best friend to share it with. 413 00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:38,952 If you fire Peter Griffin, 414 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,162 sir, you fire your customer, 415 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:42,914 the beer-loving everyman 416 00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:46,209 that makes up the hunched backbone of this country. 417 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:49,045 Cleveland, you're right. 418 00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:51,381 Griffin here is perfectly mediocre, 419 00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:54,259 and America runs on mediocre. 420 00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:56,261 You know, that's the kind of insight 421 00:18:56,261 --> 00:18:58,263 I need coming from up top. 422 00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:01,057 How'd you like to join me on the executive floor? 423 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:04,728 I appreciate the offer, sir, but I can't accept. 424 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:08,106 In fact, I'm officially "terndering" my resignation, 425 00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,984 and recommending Peter Griffin as my replacement. 426 00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:13,486 There's only one job I was born to do, 427 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,447 and I'm gonna go get it ba... 428 00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:17,741 There's the bird with my laptop! 429 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,923 Just come in. 430 00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,800 Thank you for seeing me, sir. 431 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:39,429 I'm gonna get right to it and say being a postman is who I am, 432 00:19:39,429 --> 00:19:41,348 and I'm here to get my job back. 433 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:44,434 - Well, that's great, but... - Please, sir, let me finish. 434 00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:47,854 With this rubber band, I will cinch the offending testicle 435 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,649 so that it can never dangle nor sway where it does not belong. 436 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:54,361 Here I go. 437 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,407 It's done. 438 00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:02,869 Cleveland, we sent your reinstatement forms a week ago. 439 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,662 I never check my own mail. 440 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,415 You know how Pablo Escobar never did cocaine? 441 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:09,751 - He did a lot of cocaine. - Oh. 442 00:20:09,751 --> 00:20:12,212 Then I fear I've made a terrible mistake. 443 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,672 Turns out, we couldn't fire you 444 00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:16,091 without running it by the union head. 445 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:19,177 Welcome back, Cleveland. 446 00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,846 Thank you, sir. It's good to be back. 447 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,770 And there goes my ball. 448 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:31,272 - Here's your rubber band back. - You-you can keep it. 449 00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,656 So, Cleveland, you happy to be delivering mail again? 450 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:40,907 Oh, yeah. 451 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,702 Yep, sure is nice to have things back to normal. 452 00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:46,204 Say, Cleveland, how about you and me get a quick selfie 453 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:47,831 to remember this crazy week? 454 00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:50,333 Peter, did you make another insensitive joke 455 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:52,502 and need to prove you have a Black friend again? 456 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:53,878 I'm not gonna say it was bad, 457 00:20:53,878 --> 00:20:56,256 but I have to make you my profile picture. 458 00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:57,924 It's my only shot. Oh, hang on, 459 00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:00,260 there's my Jewish friend Mort Goldman. 460 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:03,430 Hey, Mort, what's up, pal? Quick selfie?