1 00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:04,838 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,133 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:11,720 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,723 On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:18,226 Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:21,521 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,106 All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:24,524 Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:30,113 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:43,126 {\an8}Ah, it's so exciting to be back at the Halloween Carnival. 11 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,794 {\an8}Yep. Thanks to the vaccines, 12 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:47,130 {\an8}we can all get back to doing the things we hate. 13 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,757 {\an8}Oh, for God's sakes, Peter, 14 00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,592 {\an8}I am so tired of you not making an effort 15 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,302 {\an8}to be a part of this family. 16 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,637 {\an8}Lois, I drove us here. I bought the tickets. 17 00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:57,015 {\an8}I'm sadly shuffling through this place with you. 18 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,767 {\an8}- What more do you want? - Well, I don't know. 19 00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,393 {\an8}I want you to act like you're happy 20 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,187 {\an8}to be with your family every now and again. 21 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:04,314 {\an8}Look, I'm doing the best I can, but I got to tell you... 22 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,483 {\an8}Whoa! 23 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,151 {\an8}Careful. 24 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,987 {\an8}Oh, and there's my boss. Even better. 25 00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,365 {\an8}Hey, Preston. What's with the hat? 26 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,200 {\an8}This is my Halloween costume. 27 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,869 {\an8}I'm dressed as 1990s comedian Paul Shore. 28 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,038 {\an8}You-you mean Pauly Shore? 29 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,332 {\an8}Perhaps in less formal circumstances. 30 00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,876 {\an8}You may recall he borrowed heavily from surf culture, 31 00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:28,922 {\an8}with phrases such as, "Hey, buddy," and "Grindage". 32 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,757 {\an8}I don't think this costume is working. 33 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,550 {\an8}Neither is Pauly Shore. 34 00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:34,803 {\an8}Ooh! That looks scary. 35 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:38,181 "The House of Unskippable Podcast Ads." 36 00:01:41,226 --> 00:01:43,061 {\an8}Before we get to the thrilling conclusion 37 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,437 {\an8}of Murder at the South Pole, 38 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,022 {\an8}I'd like to tell you about UNTUCKit shirts. 39 00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:48,608 {\an8}I-I'm hitting "skip ahead," 40 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,193 {\an8}but it's not doing anything! 41 00:01:50,193 --> 00:01:52,237 {\an8}Last weekend, I was at a barbecue and thought, 42 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,030 {\an8}"What's with all this excess fabric 43 00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,490 {\an8}at the bottom of my shirt?" 44 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,702 {\an8}Oh, God! A clearly fake personal story! 45 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,245 {\an8}The big game was on the boob tube, 46 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,164 {\an8}but the biggest touchdown was the perfect length 47 00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:06,459 {\an8}of my friend's premium-made, affordably priced shirt. 48 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,628 {\an8}Literally no one talks like that! 49 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,964 {\an8}So, I went right home and Bing-ed "UNTUCKit" 50 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,882 {\an8}on my Microsoft Surface. 51 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:15,885 {\an8}Is this a promotion within a promotion?! 52 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,470 UNTUCKit shirts. 53 00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,724 {\an8}We weren't here for Kevin James, but we're here now. 54 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,439 {\an8}All right, gang, as a mom who planned a family activity, 55 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,357 {\an8}I'm gonna put wild pressure on you guys 56 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,151 {\an8}to say you're having a good time. 57 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:35,155 {\an8}Chris, honey, are you-- are you having a good time? 58 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:39,159 {\an8} Okay, I'm gonna need a verbal response. 59 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,744 {\an8}- Yeah. - Oh, good. 60 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,245 {\an8}Chris is having a good time. 61 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,205 Meg. Meg, are you having a good time 62 00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,041 - just like your brother? - I guess. 63 00:02:46,041 --> 00:02:47,876 Okay, great. 64 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:49,544 Can you sign this form for my Mom Meeting, 65 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,379 acknowledging your merriment? 66 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:54,007 Wow, very good. 67 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,592 I see everyone had a good time. 68 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:58,595 Would you like to spin the wheel of Mom Prizes? 69 00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,065 "Donate spin to mom you wish to belittle." 70 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:12,275 Oh, thank you! But, you know, 71 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,569 Bonnie needs this more than I do. 72 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,366 Her rejuvenation only made things worse. 73 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:28,500 Holography? That's next door to witchcraft, 74 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,919 and down the hall from David-Blaine-ery. 75 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,879 I do not care for his ruses. 76 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,465 Ah, stop being such a wuss. Let's go. 77 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:44,307 The Michael Cera hologram is a weird choice. 78 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:47,394 Oh, i-it's the real me. I'm just kind of translucent. 79 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,312 Oh, hello, Hollywood. 80 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,730 Yes, I would like to star 81 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,482 in an action movie franchise. 82 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:54,109 That's not a Bluetooth. 83 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,152 He just stuck a Tootsie Roll in his ear. 84 00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:58,655 Wow, these holograms are the most amazing thing 85 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,991 I've ever seen, and I've seen, like, a really big horse. 86 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:10,291 Welcome to my hologram laboratory. 87 00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:13,670 Would you like to see how I make my babies? 88 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,588 I mean, I'm already here. 89 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,007 Is that a yes? 90 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,426 - Yes. - Just say that, then. 91 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,971 This machine scans your data, 92 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,974 then creates a virtual hard light version of you 93 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:29,310 that can physically interact with the world. 94 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:30,937 That sounds kind of bogus. 95 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,397 Does the science check out on that? 96 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,274 They used it on Star Trek. 97 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,775 You got a problem with Star Trek? 98 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,236 Okay, take it easy. I accept your explanation. 99 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,572 We all should. It's Halloween. 100 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:43,992 You can command them to perform any human task, 101 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,077 no matter how menial. 102 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,038 So, you're saying I can have something 103 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,873 that looks exactly like me 104 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:52,500 seem like it's enjoying spending time with its family? 105 00:04:52,500 --> 00:04:54,252 Precisely. 106 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,296 - Can I have it? - I'm afraid not. 107 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,131 It's my only one. 108 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:02,677 Maybe there are... other arrangements we can make? 109 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,680 Boy, this is the first button-down shirt 110 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,390 that looks great untucked. 111 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,934 - It's an UNTUCKit. - What's their secret? 112 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:11,853 Oh, they just make shirts a tiny bit shorter. 113 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,605 Genius. 114 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,080 Man, this machine is complicated. 115 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:31,664 I hope I can figure it out. 116 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,959 Here goes nothing. 117 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,840 Thank you for choosing the Holomaker-9000. 118 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,510 Please input personal characteristics. 119 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,095 Do they have to be true? 120 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,931 I have no way of knowing what is true and what is not. 121 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,642 Such is life in the Post-Donald-Trump Era. 122 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,103 Ugh, leave the satire to Garrison Keillor. 123 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,563 Okay, time for some statements about myself 124 00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,440 that are definitely not lies. 125 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,776 Let's see, I'm a black belt in karate, 126 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,820 I can cook an eight-course French meal, 127 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,988 I always enter cars through the window 128 00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:05,657 'cause doors ain't the boss of me, 129 00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,575 and I'm great at remembering names. 130 00:06:07,575 --> 00:06:10,453 Just ask my friends: Joel, Clemson and QuickTime. 131 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:27,345 Hello, Peter Griffin. I am Hologram Peter Griffin. 132 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:29,431 How may I be of service? 133 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:30,890 Come upstairs, Peter! 134 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,976 I need you to put the too-small slip covers 135 00:06:32,976 --> 00:06:35,145 on the hard-to-grip couch pillows. 136 00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,355 You can start by handling that. 137 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,942 I would be happy to help your family with whatever they need. 138 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,944 Aw, sweet! If this works out, 139 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,238 I'll have more time for those QAnon rallies. 140 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,449 - What do we want? - We don't know! 141 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:50,285 - When do we want it? - Also unclear! 142 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,871 - Why do we want it? - Because it was forwarded to us 143 00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:55,248 in an email, so it must be true! 144 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,000 Yeah! 145 00:06:58,043 --> 00:06:59,419 Oh, Peter, there you are. 146 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,629 Listen, I'm trying to clear out my closet, 147 00:07:01,629 --> 00:07:05,050 so I want you to give me your honest opinion of every garment. 148 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:11,473 Perfect. I love working as a team to reduce clutter. 149 00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:15,060 Okay, first, my "7 Up Yours" T-shirt. 150 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:18,271 That was the most provocative thing ever put on television 151 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,524 - at the time, you have to keep that. - Okay, great. 152 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,861 Now my "Skinny Girl Margarita" T-shirt Bethenny Frankel gave me 153 00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,738 after she hit Chris with her car. 154 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,573 That's a fun story. Keep. 155 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,075 Great. Okay. 156 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,243 Under-the-seat studio audience poncho 157 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,953 from The Meredith Vieira Show? 158 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:37,457 Maybe it's time to say goodbye to Miss Vieira. 159 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,626 Oh, man, this is going great! 160 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,673 Aw, crap, I'm stuck. 161 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,716 Let me call my eyehole painting guy. 162 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,718 Hey, it's Peter Griffin. 163 00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,887 Yep, trapped in the painting again. 164 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,555 I know, I know. 165 00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,724 Well, can't you just look up my account? 166 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,685 No, I don't have my ID number. 167 00:07:56,685 --> 00:07:58,895 No, I can't get my ID number! 168 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,022 Because I'm trapped in the painting! 169 00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,233 I'm sorry, I-I'm mad at your company, not you. 170 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,317 You-You're fine. 171 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,325 Okay, yesterday worked out great. 172 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,328 So here's some more dumb family stuff I want you to do for me. 173 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,039 "Teach Stewie what sound the cow makes." 174 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,667 It's "moo." "Quack" is duck. 175 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,335 "Get opiates from John." 176 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,795 Yeah, I'll give you John's number. 177 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,506 Tell him it's Peter calling for opiates from John. 178 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,133 - He'll know what you mean. - Got it. 179 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:29,467 Now that you're doing all that, 180 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,553 I'm going to The Clam with the guys. 181 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:33,972 Oh, man, this hologram thing is the best idea 182 00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:36,224 since the Mayflower hired a cruise director. 183 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:38,518 Okay, everyone, from 8:00 until 9:00, 184 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,854 we'll be trembling before our angry God. 185 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,523 From 9:00 to 10:00, there's yellow fever on the lido deck. 186 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,775 And at 10:00, it's everybody's favorite, 187 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,444 Buckle-Hat Bingo. 188 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,362 What if we lost our buckle hat? 189 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,281 - Well, do you have a plain hat? - Yeah. 190 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,074 - Do you have a belt? - Yeah. 191 00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:55,660 You got a buckle hat. 192 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,705 I just love knowing what's going on. 193 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,960 Oh, Peter, thanks for clearing out 194 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,920 an area for us to start a garden. 195 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,091 Yeah, they say the best day to plant a garden is yesterday. 196 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:12,218 And the next best day is today! 197 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,097 This, this is what I meant 198 00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:18,183 about making an effort with the family. 199 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:22,062 And I can garden, too, 'cause I have a brown thumb. 200 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,023 That's more of a wiping issue, son, but I'm glad you're here. 201 00:09:25,023 --> 00:09:27,442 This is great, but I'm a little hot. 202 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:30,070 No problem, that's why I bought a giant sun hat 203 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,446 that can fit all of us. 204 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:33,948 And now to quote the kitchen towel, 205 00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,201 "Lettuce turnip the beet." 206 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:40,413 Stop it or I'm gonna wet myself. 207 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,791 Me, too. I always wet my plants. 208 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,503 Where do you get all this? 209 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,088 They're all from towels, Lois! 210 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,964 They're all from towels! 211 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,095 Well, what do you think, guys? 212 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,429 Should we wrap it up? 213 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,765 Yeah, but can one of you throw glitter on me? 214 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,267 It's-it's better if Lois thinks I'm at a strip club. 215 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,894 She hates you guys. 216 00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:07,065 Peter, I think you're a little too drunk to walk home. 217 00:10:07,065 --> 00:10:10,193 - Yeah, give us your shoes. - Can we give you a ride? 218 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,195 No, no, it's okay. I'll just black out 219 00:10:12,195 --> 00:10:14,489 and-and never know how I got home. 220 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,368 Works every time. 221 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,537 And it's good for the environment, maybe. 222 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,378 Boy, they look pretty happy. 223 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:31,006 And they're singing Halloween carols. 224 00:10:31,006 --> 00:10:33,633 Halloween has lots of candy ♪ 225 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,386 Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 226 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,097 ♪ Wear a mask and ring a doorbell ♪ 227 00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:41,891 - The perfect rhyme! - Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪ 228 00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,436 ♪ Don't be racist with your costume ♪ 229 00:10:44,436 --> 00:10:47,981 Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ♪ 230 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,234 Ah, that was fun. 231 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,528 And now that we're just about done with Halloween, 232 00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:56,489 maybe it's time to start writing the family Christmas letter. 233 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:59,034 Ah, Peter, that's a great idea! 234 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,618 Good luck, pal. 235 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,287 Our Christmas letter always runs aground 236 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,205 'cause our family has no accomplishments. 237 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:06,791 All right, we need some highlights from our year. 238 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:09,794 Um, I got suspended for setting up a tent 239 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,213 in my Spanish teacher's front yard. 240 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,424 "After several adventurous camping trips, 241 00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,801 "Chris is becoming quite the outdoorsman 242 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,637 and has found a true mentor in Señora Diaz." 243 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:22,015 I was trying to snag a bagel from the school dumpster 244 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,517 and got accidentally hoisted into the garbage truck. 245 00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,145 "This was the year Meg caught the travel bug." 246 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,356 Stewie's first pony ride ended 247 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,025 after he blew out his diaper all over the horse's back. 248 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,985 "Stewie pooped on a horse." 249 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:36,321 Whoa, Pop, where's my razzle-dazzle? 250 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:39,824 "And Lois celebrated her 29th birthday this year." 251 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,410 Oh, Peter. 252 00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:44,079 What the h-- Lois isn't 29... 253 00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,456 Oh, I see what he's doing. 254 00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:48,291 That's-that's very funny. 255 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,506 What the hell? No one kisses my wife 256 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,466 except, begrudgingly, me! 257 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,802 It's time for Hologram Peter to go back 258 00:11:58,802 --> 00:12:00,428 inside the machine where he came from. 259 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,515 I'll be back in a minute. 260 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,016 Don't pray without me. 261 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:07,018 Give me that! You're not the only one 262 00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,603 who can do things for this family. 263 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,190 Can you... can you pick that up? 264 00:12:12,190 --> 00:12:14,442 Listen, I appreciate you covering for me, 265 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,860 but I can take it from here. 266 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,571 Don't be silly. I've got 'em all taken care of. 267 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,282 - Go have fun. - I thought this was gonna be a good idea, 268 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:23,159 and-and these last few hours have been great... 269 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,577 You've been gone three days. 270 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,663 But I'm ready to go back to my family. 271 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,415 Okay, you're the boss. 272 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,041 The hologram machine is in the basement. 273 00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,585 Let's head down there together and sort this out. 274 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:44,848 Where's the machine? I left it right over-- 275 00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,852 As Peter lost consciousness, 276 00:12:48,852 --> 00:12:52,856 he finally saw the folly of his hologram misadventure. 277 00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:57,944 Also, going forward, I'd appreciate 278 00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,363 a bit more warning before having to narrate. 279 00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,866 Even just a few minutes 280 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:05,493 to finish whatever it is I'm doing. 281 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,871 Sir, you're supposed to buy something 282 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,789 if you want to use the restroom. 283 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,042 Well, what's the cheapest thing you got? 284 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,252 Probably a near-the-register cookie? 285 00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:16,087 Well, put me down for one of those. 286 00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:26,681 Wha... what happened? 287 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,351 - I knocked you out and tied you up. - Why? 288 00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:31,853 Because they're my family now. 289 00:13:33,772 --> 00:13:35,440 Well, the joke's on you. 290 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,443 When you first got here, I sent a letter to the FBI 291 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:40,987 because I knew something like this might happen. 292 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,490 Is it bad? 293 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:46,368 It's better than the last one. 294 00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:48,453 You should put it up on the FBI fridge 295 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,038 next to his drawing of Shrek. 296 00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,331 What? 297 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,625 Nothing. It's not supposed to be Shrek. 298 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:55,794 It's supposed to be the Hulk, but that's funny. 299 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,712 You don't deserve your family. 300 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,964 I care about them way more than you ever did. 301 00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:01,299 That's not true! 302 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:04,094 Oh, yeah? Who bought double-decker burial plots 303 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,929 because Lois likes to be on top? 304 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:08,306 Who taught Chris to whisper... "Black" 305 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,433 out of respect for... "Blacks"? 306 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:14,396 Me! And once I finish you, they'll be all mine. 307 00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:17,023 Peter! Can you come upstairs 308 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,609 and tell me if this gray chicken smells funny? 309 00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:20,985 Be right up, babe! 310 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:24,406 Aw, man. This is worse than-- 311 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,912 Wait, what are we supposed to do in this cutaway? 312 00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:32,872 I don't know, I didn-- I didn't understand the setup. 313 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,041 Well, we have to do something. 314 00:14:35,041 --> 00:14:39,462 Um, I mean, you do have a long neck and I have fangs. 315 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:41,423 Maybe something in that area? 316 00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:43,967 Uh, maybe we just wait to hear what the grown men 317 00:14:43,967 --> 00:14:45,802 who write for cartoons say? 318 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:54,519 Cream number 99 and cream 100. 319 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,938 Okay, I'm ready for bed. 320 00:14:56,938 --> 00:14:58,982 Well, we had meatloaf tonight, 321 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:00,942 so I guess I'm in for a Dutch oven. 322 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:02,235 What's a Dutch oven? 323 00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:13,413 Peter, wh-why is there dental floss in this trash can? 324 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:14,956 Because I just flossed. 325 00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:17,000 Death creeps in through the gums, you know. 326 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:21,671 Um, Peter, I-I need to go downstairs. 327 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:25,133 I... I left a lame excuse on the stove. 328 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:28,053 Okay, but be careful, I just mopped the kitchen floor. 329 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:30,847 I love you! 330 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,433 Stewie, wake up! We got to go. 331 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,185 Chris, come on. We got to go. 332 00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:38,021 Meg, can you drag the trash to the curb tomorrow before 9:00? 333 00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:39,314 We won't be here. 334 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,155 Thanks for telling us that whole backstory 335 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:48,865 on the way down the stairs, Mom. 336 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,159 Yeah, now we don't have to waste time hearing about 337 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,244 how a hologram of Peter replaced the real Peter. 338 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:54,788 Although, I don't know why we had to hear about 339 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:57,082 Bonnie not inviting you to Rosé Game Night. 340 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,793 Well, I just thought it was weird, 'cause it was my idea. 341 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,718 Going somewhere, family? 342 00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,854 I didn't want to have to tie you up. 343 00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,773 I did everything for you. 344 00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:24,359 And people think holograms don't have feelings. 345 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:25,777 Well, we don't. 346 00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:28,029 And then I watched one episode of This Is Us, 347 00:16:28,029 --> 00:16:30,323 and now I'm all feelings. 348 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,952 Don't mention This is Us. Aw, great. Now I'm gonna cry. 349 00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,995 Save your crocodile tears. 350 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,747 None of you appreciated me. 351 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:40,834 And if I can't have you, no one will. 352 00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:43,461 I hate This is Us. 353 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,131 Let my family go. 354 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:48,133 I'm impressed. 355 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,260 How did you free yourself from the bindings? 356 00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:53,513 I found a hacksaw and sawed through my hands. 357 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,473 Why didn't you saw through the ropes? 358 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,851 Hacksaw hindsight is twenty-twenty, Lois. 359 00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:00,562 The important thing is, I stitched my hands back on 360 00:17:00,562 --> 00:17:01,980 with Twizzlers. 361 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,610 All right, fat guy fight rules: 362 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,821 We grab at each other's shirts until we're out of breath 363 00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:12,157 - and then a three-minute break. - Got it. 364 00:17:12,157 --> 00:17:14,034 Should we just take a three-minute break now? 365 00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,243 Agreed. 366 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,582 It turned into a pudding break. 367 00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:21,916 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 368 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,335 I didn't get to lick the lid. 369 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:32,135 Now for the final download. 370 00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,554 Everything in your mind. 371 00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:41,436 Joke's on you. There's nothing in there. 372 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,407 Guys, Dad needs help! 373 00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:01,956 We have to short-circuit the hologram. 374 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:04,167 Can anyone shoot lightning from their fingers? 375 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,669 I can, 376 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:09,130 but I have to be very angry. 377 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:14,302 Wait, Brian, there are other kinds of electricity. 378 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,304 By simply rubbing my feet on the carpet, 379 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,890 I may be able to generate enough static electricity 380 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,059 - to do the job. - Stewie, that's a great idea! 381 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,227 What can I do to help? 382 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:23,728 I need something to get my feet going. 383 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,397 Can you sing "I Got Rhythm"? 384 00:18:25,397 --> 00:18:28,608 Um, I-I... Can I, can I just say "da da" 385 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,609 for the words I don't know? 386 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,985 We have no choice. Go! 387 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:32,696 Da da rhythm ♪ 388 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:34,197 Wait, wait, wait. 389 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:36,449 We're starting with the "da das" already? 390 00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,702 You don't know "I got rhythm"? It's in the name! 391 00:18:38,702 --> 00:18:40,078 Okay, I got it. Got it, got it. 392 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:42,288 - I got da da ♪ - Rhythm! 393 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:43,873 You said that the first time! 394 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:46,751 Okay, now I'm starting to get angry. 395 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,253 I'll do it myself. 396 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:49,713 I got rhythm ♪ 397 00:18:49,713 --> 00:18:51,339 Da da music. ♪ 398 00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,716 Oh-ho! The expert. 399 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,300 Well, I got through the title at least. 400 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,059 It's working! 401 00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:04,310 Quick, everyone, hold hands. 402 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,687 We have to reach Peter. 403 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:13,778 We can't reach him! 404 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,113 Lois, use your toe! 405 00:19:15,113 --> 00:19:17,449 I haven't had a pedicure in four weeks! 406 00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:19,367 Just do it. We won't look. 407 00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:22,996 Ew. 408 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,873 Peter! Touch my toe! 409 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:26,833 - Ew. - Do it! 410 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,086 That's usually my line, but whatever. 411 00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,229 Wilma! 412 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:59,407 You saved us, Peter. 413 00:20:00,408 --> 00:20:02,494 Yeah, glad you thought of it. 414 00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:04,037 I hate this place. 415 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,580 Of course I did. 416 00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:06,831 I love you guys. 417 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,209 And from now on, I'll try to be half as good 418 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,794 as Hologram Me was. 419 00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:12,504 Oh, but don't you see, Peter? 420 00:20:12,504 --> 00:20:14,673 The hologram was you. 421 00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:16,299 He was just the best version of you. 422 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,718 You can get there, it'll just take work. 423 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,513 No, the deal was I promise to be half as good 424 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:22,722 as a fake thing. 425 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,432 - All right, just do that. - No promises. 426 00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:32,607 Well, Peter, I'm glad you're safe, 427 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,192 and everything's back to normal. 428 00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:36,486 Yeah. Me, too. And you know what? 429 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,738 I realized how much I missed you guys. 430 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,615 What do you say we turn off that TV 431 00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:42,200 and do something as a family? 432 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,660 Damn it. 433 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:45,453 He created another hologram. 434 00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,455 I'll get my feet started. 435 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:50,166 - Brian, little "Camptown Races"? - You got it. 436 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:52,043 Da da ladies sing this song ♪ 437 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:54,462 - I just gave you the title! - Sorry, uh... 438 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:56,339 ♪ Camptown ladies sing this song ♪ 439 00:20:56,339 --> 00:20:58,258 - Da da-- ♪ - It's "Doo-dah"! 440 00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,342 At least I got one of 'em. 441 00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,927 The second one doesn't count!