1 00:00:01,626 --> 00:00:04,838 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:08,216 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:11,177 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:14,389 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:18,059 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,059 --> 00:00:21,521 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,064 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,441 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:31,031 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,873 {\an8}Ah, the office party. 11 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:42,000 {\an8}Raw broccoli and sheet cake. 12 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,961 {\an8}I like when the universe gives me easy choices. 13 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:48,798 {\an8}Thank you for coming. If you haven't already, 14 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:51,259 {\an8}please don't forget to Venmo four dollars to James 15 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:52,635 {\an8}for the broccoli and sheet cake. 16 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:54,763 {\an8}And I want to thank Paula from HR for saving us 17 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,348 {\an8}a little money by squeeze-farting 18 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:59,309 {\an8}the last three bottles of ranch dressing onto a paper plate. 19 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,395 {\an8}Now, to the man of the hour: Moses Beauford. 20 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:03,897 {\an8}Moses has been our night watchman 21 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,523 {\an8}for the last 40 years. 22 00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,277 {\an8}Paula, I think we're good. 23 00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:11,029 {\an8}Today, he is retiring. 24 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:14,866 {\an8}So, please meet and say goodbye to Moses Beauford. 25 00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:19,662 {\an8}Now, I've looked through all y'all desks. 26 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:21,331 {\an8}Where's Dave Lapoff? 27 00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:24,709 {\an8}My man. 28 00:01:24,709 --> 00:01:26,378 {\an8}Of course, with Moses' departure, 29 00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,130 {\an8}we'll need to begin our search for a new night watchman. 30 00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,216 {\an8}And what does the job entail? 31 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,801 {\an8}- Sitting. - And? 32 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,135 {\an8}Watching. 33 00:01:34,135 --> 00:01:36,429 {\an8}Interesting, but I don't know. 34 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:38,264 {\an8}Hey, what was in Dave's desk anyway? 35 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,892 {\an8}I'll do it. 36 00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:46,106 {\an8}You enjoying your walk there, Brian? 37 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,108 {\an8}Good boy, good boy. 38 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,402 {\an8}What? I'm walking you, you're not walking me. 39 00:01:50,402 --> 00:01:52,737 {\an8}I'm not the one wearing a leash, my friend. 40 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:59,661 {\an8}Lot of information on the base of the pole today. 41 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,372 {\an8}That rottweiler up the street has a UTI. 42 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,915 {\an8}Oh, Luna's pregnant! 43 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,501 {\an8}Oh, good for her, I know she's been trying. 44 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:09,713 {\an8}Brian, this pole is AT&T, not AT&Pee. 45 00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:15,927 {\an8}"This pole is AT&T, not AT&Pee. Potential tweet." 46 00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,345 {\an8}Hey, check it out: 47 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:20,432 {\an8}a flyer for a missing dog with a thousand dollar reward. 48 00:02:20,432 --> 00:02:21,808 {\an8}All right, so? 49 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:24,394 {\an8}Well, it's just... this dog kind of looks like me. 50 00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:29,357 {\an8}Boy, imagine you paint a couple spots on my face, 51 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,901 {\an8}return me to the owner and walk off with a thousand bucks. 52 00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,280 {\an8}Wait. That might actually work. 53 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,740 {\an8}Oh, because then you're just going to live 54 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,034 {\an8}with the missing dog's owner for the rest of your life? 55 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,577 {\an8}Come on, use your head, Brian. 56 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:43,121 {\an8}I wouldn't live with the missing dog's owner, Stewie. 57 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,331 {\an8}I'd sneak out while they're asleep and come home. 58 00:02:45,331 --> 00:02:47,250 {\an8}Then we could split the money 50-50. 59 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:50,337 {\an8}You know, you may be on to something here, Brian. 60 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,671 {\an8}Damn right I am. 61 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,508 {\an8}Ooh, some poor bastard's got a drinking problem. 62 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,634 {\an8}That's your pee. 63 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,678 {\an8}Some cool guy knows how to party. 64 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,642 {\an8}Hey, thanks for showing me around, Moses. 65 00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:06,019 {\an8}No problem, Peter. 66 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,395 {\an8}First thing's first: 67 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:09,814 {\an8}being a night watchman is about integrity, 68 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,233 {\an8}dedication and muttering things you wish you'd said 69 00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,444 {\an8}to your wife during a fight earlier that day. 70 00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:17,155 Who buys a quart of mint chip ice cream? You buy a pint. 71 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,783 Mutter, Peter. We mutter. 72 00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,451 Sorry, this is all so new. 73 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:22,660 Hey, what's that? 74 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,623 Oh, every night watchman has a six-inch portable TV 75 00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:28,124 broadcasting a middle-of-the-night, 76 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,585 sparsely attended Oakland A's game. 77 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:33,046 Welcome back to A's baseball: 78 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,590 "The biggest 'who cares' of professional sports." 79 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,008 Bottom of the fourth now, Tim. 80 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,260 Which Oakland A is batting next? 81 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,805 I've said it before and I'll say it again, Greg... 82 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,098 who cares. 83 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,642 Oh, a couple more things, Peter. 84 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,976 And these are very important. 85 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:50,063 First, these are the giant vats 86 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,940 that hold all of the brewery's beer. 87 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:54,526 You must protect them at all costs. 88 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:55,819 Whoa. 89 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:59,489 Yep, I spent many nights fantasizing about throwing 90 00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:01,908 the world's biggest keg party in here. 91 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,494 So, Peter, you ready to become a night watchman? 92 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:07,789 Does Dave Lapoff like giant Latina butts? 93 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,124 You know he do! 94 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,673 So I said, Denise, it's your wedding, 95 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,009 if you want to have it outdoors, have it outdoors. 96 00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:21,052 Did I miss the memo where the mother of the groom 97 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,804 is now in charge of the wedding? 98 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,180 Okay, now just sit tight for a minute, 99 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,057 I got to go check on Doris. 100 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,937 That Doris is a riot. 101 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,232 81, she still gets her hair permed every month. 102 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,775 Do you know she walks here? 103 00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:39,696 And she plays golf twice a week with her sister, who's 90. 104 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,698 Sharp as a tack, still drives. 105 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:42,991 Stewie, are we almost done here? 106 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,200 I just needed a quick touch-up 107 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,827 so I can look like that missing dog. 108 00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,245 We are completely done. 109 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,831 Brian, say hello to $1,000. 110 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,459 Wow, Stewie, this is actually pretty good. 111 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,669 At cosmetology school, I was the only one 112 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:56,171 who came back after lunch. 113 00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,881 Cosmetology school: 114 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:01,217 we spell "school" with a "U" for legal reasons. 115 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,806 And a big hello to all our night watchman viewers 116 00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,350 on the East Coast. 117 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:11,311 Time for you guys to unwrap that six-hour sandwich 118 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,521 and listen to me call foul balls. 119 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,149 Fouled off. Oh and one. 120 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,652 Bad guys. 121 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,324 This is it, Peter. Remember your training. 122 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:28,411 Ah! Take whatever you want! 123 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:31,164 Good evening, my good sir. 124 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,166 We are an all-principal drinking group 125 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:35,543 called "Principals with Vices." 126 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:36,795 "Vice Principals"? 127 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,505 Ah, so you got it! 128 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,256 Leonard said no one would get it. 129 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,341 You hear that, Leonard? 130 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,592 Yeah, I heard it. 131 00:05:42,592 --> 00:05:46,179 Leonard's the principal of an elementary school, 132 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,682 which in our world makes him my "beyotch." 133 00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,101 Anyway, like most principals, 134 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:52,686 we stole the driver's ed car 135 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,688 and have been cruising around town asking women 136 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:56,648 if we can have their attention, please. 137 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:57,899 They have not given it. 138 00:05:57,899 --> 00:06:00,151 No, they have not, other Leonard. 139 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:02,404 Two-thirds of all principals are named Leonard. 140 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,823 So now it's 2:00 a.m., the bars are closed, 141 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,991 and we are all still quite divorced. 142 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:09,202 Can you provide us with more alcohol? 143 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,496 Uh, I don't know, let me check the rules. 144 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:15,917 Oh. 145 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,794 Aw. 146 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,879 I don't know why they wrote the card that way. 147 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,881 Are you sure you can't let us in? 148 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:24,092 I'll show you a picture of a naked student. 149 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,218 That's my son! 150 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,970 Oh, well, I have others. 151 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:28,763 No, that's him again. 152 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,765 Nope, well, that's also him. 153 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:32,267 Okay, these are all Chris. 154 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:35,395 How about instead we give you $20 per beer? 155 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,730 Whoa, hang on. 156 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,273 Are you saying you'll give me cash 157 00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:40,734 just to let you come in here and drink after hours? 158 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,776 You betcha. 159 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,653 Holy crap, I'm gonna be rich. 160 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,321 Come on in! 161 00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:49,451 That was the night a secret after-hours bar 162 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,411 opened up in the back of the brewery. 163 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,038 I'm Chris Griffin. 164 00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,498 Naked photos were taken of me without my consent, 165 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:56,875 and my dad doesn't care. 166 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,509 Place is packed, Peter. 167 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:07,635 Word's really gotten around 168 00:07:07,635 --> 00:07:09,471 about your after-hours beer operation. 169 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:10,638 Thanks, Quagmire. 170 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:11,806 It's only the second night, 171 00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,099 and I'm already raking it in. 172 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,809 Peter, what if you get caught? 173 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:17,729 Impossible. I know where all the security cameras are, 174 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,981 and we got a massive supply of beer. 175 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,692 The only problem is running this place all by myself. 176 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,110 You know, we could probably help out. 177 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,820 Really? That'll be great. 178 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:28,406 - I could even cut you in on the action. - I'm down. 179 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,825 Look, I'm a cop and this is technically illegal, 180 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,078 but I suppose I could turn a blind eye 181 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:35,914 if I were to be put in charge of the music. 182 00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,540 Done. What kind of music you thinking? 183 00:07:37,540 --> 00:07:41,044 My favorite genre: songs that yell the name of places. 184 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:43,171 You want to see a guy lose his mind? 185 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,715 Put on Huey Lewis' "Heart of Rock And Roll." 186 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,550 That little baby wastes no time. 187 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,260 It's like, "Oh, let's just hit play 188 00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,303 on this fun little song." 189 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,888 "New York! New York!" 190 00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:53,181 It's sick. 191 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,557 "Free Fallin'" is a good one. 192 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,059 That song names a lot of places. 193 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,728 Oh, sure. If your definition of "a lot" is three. 194 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:01,648 Reseda, Ventura Boulevard, Mulholland Drive. 195 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,734 Yeah, not exactly moving this guy's needle. 196 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,194 Isn't there four in that song? 197 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,862 "America" is in the second line. 198 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,155 Doesn't count. Too general. 199 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,366 But the chorus in "Kokomo" where The Beach Boys 200 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,451 list all the islands near Kokomo? 201 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,037 The one where they mention the singular Bahama? 202 00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:20,000 You know, not all the Bahamas, just the one Bahama? 203 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,086 Oh, baby. Huge needle mover. 204 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:33,847 Wow, who knew running a speakeasy would be so lucrative? 205 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,182 Yeah, but you guys, now that we're secretly raking in 206 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,101 all this cash, let's promise each other 207 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,562 we're not gonna blow it on mistresses and drug habits. 208 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,563 Agreed. 209 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,815 Hey, so quick update... 210 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:46,443 Okay, the glory hole kissing booth is up and running. 211 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,695 I think that thing's gonna be a big money-maker! 212 00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:51,156 Everything in this place is a big money-maker. 213 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,158 I know, it's all going perfectly. 214 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,868 Well, except Keith from accounting 215 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,703 keeps talking about the guitar in his office, 216 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,080 hoping somebody'll ask him to-- uhp, he went and got it. 217 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,417 Yeah, I kind of mess around a little bit... 218 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:04,336 You know, it's not even so much his singing, 219 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,088 it's that every song has a tedious backstory. 220 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,675 I'll be honest, this next one I wrote 221 00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:13,470 during a pretty dark period in my life 222 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:14,763 when I was out in the desert, 223 00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:17,223 staring up at that star-filled sky. 224 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,059 This one's called "Big Blue Marble." 225 00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:21,686 See, the thing about the desert is... 226 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:25,106 Ugh, God, go home and be with your newborn, Keith. 227 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:30,904 All right, Brian, now remember: I'm the one who found you, 228 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,697 and I'm taking you back to your family. 229 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,157 Why are you dressed like that? 230 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,450 People aren't just going to give a baby 231 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,118 a thousand dollars, Brian. 232 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,828 So, I've created a character. 233 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,623 I'm a construction worker from "around the way" 234 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,291 named Bobby Beccorino. 235 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,128 Yeah, what's up, chief? 236 00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,130 Bobby Beccorino from around the way. 237 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:52,217 How's it hangin'? Me? Probably stuck to my frickin' thigh 238 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,761 right now 'cause I sweat so much during construction, 239 00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:55,762 know what I'm sayin'? 240 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,764 I'm sorry. Who are you? 241 00:09:57,764 --> 00:10:00,266 Oh, I'm a whole plate of pancakes, pal. 242 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,726 Name's Bobby Beccorino. 243 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:02,894 You know, from around the way? 244 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,856 Oh, my God! Rover! 245 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,483 Yeah, he was wanderin' around the site 246 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,443 where I do all my construction stuff. 247 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,362 Maybe you've seen it, it's around the way. 248 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,572 I haven't heard of a construction site nearby. 249 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:15,824 Oh, yeah. It's there. 250 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,701 Just hop in your car, drive around the road, 251 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,619 and when you get to the way? Go around it. 252 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,995 Okay, well, thanks for... 253 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,498 Yeah, ol' Bobby Beccorino was layin' drywall 254 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,542 with the boys when he spotted this idiot 255 00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,752 takin' a big dump near my bandsaw. 256 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:31,548 Okay, sorry, but... don't you hang drywall? 257 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,966 Listen up, you little cranberry. 258 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,634 Bobby Beccorino's been layin' drywall 259 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,969 since you were in Pampers! 260 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,847 Okay! I'm sorry! Here's your money. 261 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,896 Nice place you got here... 262 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,732 Whoa. 263 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,358 What the hell? 264 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:51,901 So, Rover Four, 265 00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,988 you thought you could escape from Chase's TikTok house? 266 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,198 Rover Four? TikTok house? 267 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,868 This weekend I'll use you for my most dangerous 268 00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:02,120 and humiliating viral stunt yet. 269 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,165 And your fate will be that of Rovers One through Three. 270 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,125 Then, it'll be time to find Rover Five. 271 00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,461 Enjoy your last couple of days alive. 272 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:11,087 Last couple days alive? 273 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,922 Wait, no, no. This is a mix-up. 274 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,299 Oh, God. 275 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:15,759 Coming here was a mistake. 276 00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,719 Like buying that German plunger. 277 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:20,889 Ah, das gut! Yah! Yah! Yah! 278 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,933 I am vurthless! I am vurthless rubber boy! 279 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,061 Punish me now! 280 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:33,902 We got a problem! We're out of beer! 281 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,570 Crap. What are we gonna do? 282 00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:38,698 Why don't you just use the money you made to buy more beer? 283 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,201 Hey, so quick update about the money... 284 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,209 Well, that's the last of 'em. 285 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,920 I can't believe I used up all the beer, you guys. 286 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,546 I am in so much trouble. 287 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,257 Well, well, well... 288 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,676 Surprised to see me? 289 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,052 We can't actually see you. 290 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,387 Yeah, you're still in the shadows. 291 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,430 Damn it. Hold on. 292 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,058 Well, well, well. 293 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,185 Yeah, still not seeing you, bud. 294 00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:08,520 Maybe walk forward more? 295 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,523 I did that, man. H-How about now? 296 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:13,483 Yeah, I think I can see you now. 297 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,568 - Are your shoes black? - Brown. 298 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,195 Okay, yeah, I can't see you. 299 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,906 Oh, for the love of Luther Vandross! 300 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,909 Peter, the truth is, every night watchman steals beer. 301 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,078 The key is only stealing a single bottle a week 302 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:26,454 over 30 years. 303 00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:28,832 Course, I'm man enough to admit I ran out of beer 304 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,834 from a party once when I first started. 305 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:34,546 My plan was to replace it by robbing a beer truck. 306 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:36,798 But I could never find the right team to pull it off. 307 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,592 You also didn't have Smash Mouth's "Walkin' on the Sun." 308 00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,136 I'm sorry. Smash what now? 309 00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,888 Every successful heist after 1998 310 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,266 began with Smash Mouth's "Walkin' on the Sun." 311 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:50,520 Yours didn't have it. Hence, unsuccessful heist. 312 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,188 Well, that makes no sense. 313 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,235 - I'm in. - I'm in. - I'm in. 314 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,445 I'm in. 315 00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:00,780 Well, all right. Maybe this crew could pull off 316 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,699 the beer truck heist I never could. 317 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,702 Let's do it. Joe's got access to a police helicopter. 318 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:08,455 - And I know how to fly. - I'll bring the snacks! 319 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,165 That's the guy we never got. 320 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:12,083 We never got the snack guy. 321 00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:17,339 Chris, have you seen Brian? 322 00:13:17,339 --> 00:13:19,466 "How are you today, Chris?" 323 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:22,427 is a nice way to begin a conversation. 324 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,721 I'm sorry. It's just that he and I had this plan 325 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,306 to make him look like a missing dog 326 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,557 and collect reward money. 327 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:28,767 But I can't find him anywhere 328 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,518 and his cell phone is going to voice mail. 329 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:32,437 Chris, you've got to help me find Brian. 330 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:36,441 Hang on, let me get out my rude little boy translator. 331 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:39,819 Oh, you said, "Will you please help me find Brian?" 332 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,697 Why, yes, that sounds lovely, Stewie. 333 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:46,076 Okay, Chris. Your agent said you wanted more scenes. 334 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,285 These are the scenes. 335 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,462 Mint Milano? Mint Milano? 336 00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,048 I can't eat those without milk. 337 00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,050 The mother-lovin' Snack Guy. 338 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,094 This is it, fellas. Everyone ready? 339 00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,345 Wait... 340 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,223 Now we're ready. 341 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:12,185 ♪ It ain't no joke, I'd like to buy the world a toke ♪ 342 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,897 ♪ And teach the world to sing in perfect harmony ♪ 343 00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:20,443 ♪ And teach the world to snuff the fires and the liars ♪ 344 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,655 ♪ Hey, I know it's just a song, but it's spice for the recipe ♪ 345 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:27,492 ♪ This is a love attack, I know it went out, but it's back... ♪ 346 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:28,660 What do I do now? 347 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:30,412 We call the Weekapaug Brewery 348 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:32,997 and redirect the truck to our brewery. 349 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:36,251 Then why the hell did I have to be on the roof of the-- Ah! 350 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:40,255 Ah! 351 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:44,551 Ah...! 352 00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,348 Way to go, Peter. 353 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:53,977 This whole thing was a big waste of time thanks to you. 354 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,146 Hey, did anyone unstrap Joe? 355 00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,736 No. We did not. 356 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,325 Wait, this is where you dropped Brian off? 357 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,037 - This is a TikTok house. - How do you know that? 358 00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,873 Every room in the house is glowing from ring lights. 359 00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,378 Can I help you? 360 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,130 We're looking for our dog. 361 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,465 Dog? 362 00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:26,134 I think Chase brought a dog to Dangerous Stunt Beach 363 00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,469 to do a dangerous stunt. 364 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:29,471 Oh, no. We got to help him. 365 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,805 Did you hear that, Stewie? 366 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:33,516 Already on your phone? 367 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:35,226 The world's up here, Stewie. 368 00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:38,772 Your mind's a prison, and only you hold the key. 369 00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:45,820 All right, Chris. We don't have much time to find Brian. 370 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:48,531 - Maybe we split... - Oh, my God. Stewie, look! 371 00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:55,246 Don't worry, Brian! We're here to save you! 372 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:57,207 Stewie! Chris! Help! 373 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,958 The guy's right over there with the remote! 374 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:02,629 We got you, buddy! 375 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,255 All right, Chris. Here's the plan: 376 00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,132 When I give you the signal, grab the remote, 377 00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:07,592 take control of the drone, 378 00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:10,303 and I'll be here to safely guide Brian ashore. Got it? 379 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,222 Got it. Wait. What's the signal? 380 00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:13,473 What? 381 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,392 The signal. You said you'd give me a signal. 382 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:16,434 What is it? 383 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,435 You'll know the signal when you see it. 384 00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:18,770 Now go! 385 00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,523 Yeah, look. I hate to be getting into the weeds here, 386 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:23,400 but I'm just saying if I was aware 387 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,526 of the signal going in, I might... 388 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:25,902 Chris! I don't understand 389 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,904 why you're making this into such an issue. 390 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,114 I mean, it's-it's a signal! 391 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,533 It-It'll be an unmistakable signal. 392 00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:35,704 Okay, see, even you classifying the signal as "unmistakable" 393 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:38,707 presumes there to be various categories of signals, 394 00:16:38,707 --> 00:16:41,001 of which I am not at all aware, mind you... 395 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,627 Hey! Shut up and get me down! 396 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:43,753 Just go. 397 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,590 Everybody, look! Up in the sky! 398 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:49,676 It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... 399 00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,929 "The Lubed-Up Butt Mutt." 400 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,187 ALL Butt Mutt! Butt Mutt! Butt Mutt! 401 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,149 Oh, my God. I'm sponsored content. 402 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,443 Stewie! Give Chris the signal! 403 00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:10,947 What's wrong with you people? 404 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:13,742 I am a hardworking, accomplished author! 405 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,118 Brian... 406 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,619 I am an accomplished author! 407 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,787 Brian... 408 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,040 I am an author! Brian... 409 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,043 I mostly use my computer for Bella Thorne's OnlyFans. 410 00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:24,878 There you go. Proud of you, man. 411 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:25,879 Hey, Chris! 412 00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:28,506 A thumbs-up? 413 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:31,176 That's the signal you couldn't tell me about? 414 00:17:31,176 --> 00:17:33,094 This is bush league, man. 415 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,638 Ah! 416 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,686 Ah! 417 00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,981 Ah! Ah! 418 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,697 Ah! 419 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,823 What the deuce? 420 00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:16,262 We're gonna crash! 421 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,519 What the hell is this stuff? 422 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,771 X-Y "Fire and Ice" Jelly. 423 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,272 Ooh, 'cause it feels really goo-- 424 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,565 Oh! Too hot! Too hot! 425 00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:28,692 Ooh, it feels really goo-- 426 00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:30,318 Oh! Too hot! Too hot! 427 00:18:35,365 --> 00:18:38,118 That's Preston. He's waiting for me in my office. 428 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:40,245 Time to fess up and admit I'm the reason 429 00:18:40,245 --> 00:18:41,955 the brewery's out of beer. 430 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,206 Well, it's been fun. 431 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:45,875 Peter, this is all our faults. 432 00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:48,003 Let us come with you and share the blame. 433 00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:50,338 No, Cleveland. For once in my life, 434 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,007 I got to be a man about something 435 00:18:52,007 --> 00:18:54,843 and take full and total responsibility. 436 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,180 Preston! There's a Black guy outside 437 00:18:59,180 --> 00:19:00,640 and he stole all the beer. 438 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,142 What are you talking about, Griffin? 439 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,686 The brewery has plenty of beer. 440 00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:05,687 How'd it go? 441 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,731 Well, well, well... 442 00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:08,773 Moses? 443 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:10,108 Surprised to see me? 444 00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,943 Yeah, again, we cannot see you. 445 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:15,196 You're really bad at this whole "emerging from darkness" thing. 446 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,198 Oh, sweet Patti LaBelle. 447 00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:20,702 Peter, the brewery has beer again because I put it there. 448 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:23,329 Wait! Are you one of those magical Black guys 449 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,248 who helps white people with their problems 450 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,416 and then disappears? 451 00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:28,418 The kind Hollywood had no problem making 452 00:19:28,418 --> 00:19:31,463 many movies about until a shockingly recent time? 453 00:19:31,463 --> 00:19:34,758 No, Peter. I just used every bottle of beer I stole 454 00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,135 over the last 30 years to refill the vats. 455 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,136 You did? 456 00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:39,721 I always thought my retirement dream 457 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,181 would be to move to Oakland. 458 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:44,684 But man, there's a buttload of homeless people there. 459 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,395 But what do you expect given the laissez-faire politics 460 00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,689 of a California Democrat like Gavin Newsom? 461 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,149 Hey, hey, buddy? Buddy? 462 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,942 I only talk about one politician, 463 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:54,611 and that's Mayor McCheese. 464 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,904 Oh, I'm sorry. 465 00:19:55,904 --> 00:19:57,947 So, I returned, refilled the beer, 466 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,949 and I'm taking my old job back. 467 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,244 Wow. 30 years' worth of beer in one night? 468 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,662 That must have taken a while. 469 00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:07,540 You know, that works out 470 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:11,086 to over 1,500 bottles of beer on the wall. 471 00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:13,338 Which reminds me of a song. 472 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:14,589 A-one, a-two... 473 00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,174 Damn it, Keith. Go home to your wife. 474 00:20:16,174 --> 00:20:17,759 She's totally overwhelmed. Go on! 475 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,184 Well, we learned a lot this week. 476 00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:28,353 But unfortunately, we all then died 477 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,188 of carbon monoxide poisoning. 478 00:20:30,188 --> 00:20:32,482 Probably because I took the batteries out of the detector 479 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:35,610 and put them in an old Star Tours visor that lights up. 480 00:20:35,610 --> 00:20:37,445 Was it worth it? I don't know. 481 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:38,988 It wasn't so great indoors, 482 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,324 but it was pretty cool to wear outside at night. 483 00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,034 Lot of head nods. 484 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:46,204 No conversations, but people are wicked timid after COVID. 485 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:47,747 Joe's the one who found us. 486 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,333 I think he grabbed some stuff before he called it in. 487 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,795 I'm gonna miss you, pal. 488 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,340 - Nice. Star Tours? - Yeah. 489 00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,550 - When did you... - Hey, I'd love to chat, 490 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,927 but I'm a little timid after COVID.