1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,836 Ted: And so, after six months apart, 2 00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:07,272 Aunt lily and uncle marshall were finally back together. 3 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,008 Oh, my god. 4 00:00:09,010 --> 00:00:11,143 These pancakes are delicious! 5 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,644 Yes. Thank you. 6 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,780 Um, I learned how to cook while you were gone this summer. 7 00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:17,282 Oh. Do you want to cook dinner tonight? 8 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:18,951 Yeah, sure. 9 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,987 How about pancakes? 10 00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:24,857 And things were back to normal... Almost. 11 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:27,726 You may not have much range, but at least I'm marrying a guy 12 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:28,968 Who knows how to make pancakes. 13 00:00:32,565 --> 00:00:34,733 Oh, um... 14 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,335 I mean, um... 15 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,469 Well, I realize 16 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:40,672 That we haven't really discussed 17 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:43,042 Whether us getting back together 18 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,144 Means us getting married, but... 19 00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,212 I still wanna. 20 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:48,547 Do you still wanna? 21 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:51,183 Really? 22 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,919 Of course, I love you. 23 00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:56,255 No, I mean, that's how you're gonna do it? 24 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:57,589 "Do you still wanna?" 25 00:00:57,591 --> 00:01:00,092 That's like the lamest proposal ever. 26 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,260 When I did it, 27 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:02,694 I got down on my knees... 28 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,563 I don't know, I'm just saying. 29 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:11,103 Marshall eriksen, will you ma... 30 00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:12,671 No, no, no, no, no, no. 31 00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:13,605 What?! You can't lead with that. 32 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:14,940 You got to... 33 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:16,241 Build up to that. 34 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,610 You got to have, like, a little speech. 35 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,613 Do you remember your proposal to me? 36 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:23,916 I had a speech prepared. 37 00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:25,851 What do you want to hear? 38 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:27,419 I don't know. 39 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,788 I mean, you could tell me, like, about how good-looking 40 00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:33,092 And funny and smart I am 41 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:34,426 And I've been working out lately. 42 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:39,031 It might be nice for you to mention something... About that. 43 00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:40,265 Hmm. 44 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:43,769 Marshall, you are good-looking... 45 00:01:43,771 --> 00:01:44,903 Thank you. 46 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:45,637 You're funny. Oh, thanks. 47 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,972 You're smart. 48 00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,307 And a few tears wouldn't hurt. 49 00:01:48,309 --> 00:01:49,641 Okay, would you freakin' marry me already? 50 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:50,542 Of course I'll marry you. 51 00:01:50,544 --> 00:01:52,044 Of course. 52 00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:55,080 But, um, until you see a ring on this finger, 53 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,615 Don't expect me to put out. 54 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,117 Yeah, right. 55 00:01:58,141 --> 00:02:08,141 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 56 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,506 I'll give you this. 57 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:22,975 That was a very creative use of syrup. 58 00:02:24,512 --> 00:02:27,746 I can't even look mrs. Butterworth in the eye. 59 00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,984 Oh, my god. 60 00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,452 We're getting married! 61 00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:34,686 I know, I know. 62 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,789 Ted: It was a moment of happiness, 63 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,459 Followed of course by a moment of total panic. 64 00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:42,494 See, when they called off their first wedding, 65 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,364 Aunt lily took off for san francisco 66 00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,466 Leaving uncle marshall with the unfortunate task 67 00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,201 Of telling his entire family. 68 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,937 Yeah, so now she's gone and the wedding's off. 69 00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:53,705 What do you call someone 70 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,207 Who just takes off and leaves like that? 71 00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:57,009 What do you call that? 72 00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:58,977 I think that that's a little strong. 73 00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,145 I can't even believe 74 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,514 You would use a word like that. 75 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,950 Geez, grandma. 76 00:03:06,152 --> 00:03:08,053 Man, I made a big mess 77 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,688 By canceling this wedding, didn't I? 78 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,691 It's okay, baby. 79 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,127 You're not just realizing that now, are you? 80 00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:18,497 God, the idea of standing 81 00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:22,334 Up there in front of all those people who hate my guts... 82 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,736 Just makes me want to run off to atlantic city 83 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,238 And get married today. 84 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,940 Yeah. 85 00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,644 Coming up at 11:00: 86 00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:34,646 Are there piranhas in the east river? 87 00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:38,650 What you don't know... Could eat you. 88 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,852 Robin! Stop the news! 89 00:03:40,854 --> 00:03:42,988 What the hell? It's okay. They're my friends. 90 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,656 We're going to atlantic city to elope. 91 00:03:44,658 --> 00:03:45,658 You got to come with us. 92 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,859 Oh, my god, that is so fantastic! 93 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,728 I-I don't know if I can just leave work. 94 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,810 It's okay; mike can read the news tonight. 95 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,566 Hey, mike... You can read, right? 96 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:57,903 Yeah, I'm the best at reading. 97 00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:00,105 Let's go to atlantic city! 98 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:02,547 Yeah! Yeah! 99 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,109 You guys are eloping! 100 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:06,245 Oh, that's fantastic. 101 00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:07,613 Wait, is this because there's a time crunch 102 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,248 Uncle ted should know about? 103 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,551 I hope not because I plan on getting hammered. 104 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,785 Guys, this sounds like so much fun, 105 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,287 But I can't really take off work. 106 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:16,855 I'm kind of important around here, you know? 107 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,123 I'm the project manager. 108 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,758 Ted, for the rest of our lives, 109 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,760 We are going to be telling the amazing story 110 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,763 Of how we went to atlantic city and got married. 111 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,732 Don't you want to be in that story? 112 00:04:26,734 --> 00:04:28,734 Of course I do. 113 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,402 Let's go to atlantic city! 114 00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:32,404 Yeah! Yeah! Oh, but when we tell the story, 115 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,739 Can you leave out the part where I hesitate? 116 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:35,874 You got it. 117 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,544 Hey, guys. 118 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,880 Wow. A pedicure. 119 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:44,383 Uh, if there were any shame in a dude getting a pedicure, 120 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,585 I don't think there would have been a feature 121 00:04:46,587 --> 00:04:49,755 About it in details magazine. 122 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,557 We're going to atlantic city to elope right now! 123 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,893 Oh, congratulations, lily. 124 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,261 Marshall, you're getting married? 125 00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:57,729 What the hell? 126 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,798 So are you in or not? 127 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,500 Hell, yeah, I'm in! 128 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,068 Just... I'm almost done. 129 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,670 No, we got to get going to the... 130 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:05,837 Well, actually, I mean... 131 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:09,007 It is my wedding day, and since we're here... 132 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:13,011 Ted: So we all got a pedicure and then headed down... 133 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,747 To atlantic city. 134 00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:26,024 Wow. Look at this place. 135 00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,826 I guess I'll have my pick of something old. 136 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,027 And something blue. 137 00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:31,589 Somebody should really check on this lady. 138 00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:34,666 Ah, a.C., always in decline, 139 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,169 Never hitting bottom. 140 00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:39,604 It's good to be back, old friend. 141 00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:40,472 You been here before? 142 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,708 Oh, uh, once or twice. 143 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,542 Man: Barney! 144 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,878 Ah, good to see you, too. 145 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,780 Three times, maybe. 146 00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,883 The wedding chapel... This is it. 147 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,185 Are you ready to do this? 148 00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:54,786 I'm ready. 149 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,789 Let's get married. Ted: Yeah. 150 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:58,690 Oh, crap. 151 00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,958 I don't have a veil. 152 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,394 I'm a bride; I can't get married without a veil. 153 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:04,329 And a bouquet. 154 00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,797 I need a veil and a bouquet. 155 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:07,966 Oh, my god, we're getting married. 156 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,134 Robin: Don't worry. Relax. 157 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,135 We'll get you a veil, honey. 158 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:12,671 Oh, robin, that's a really cute outfit. 159 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:14,239 Oh, really? Thanks. 160 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,808 Yeah, it has to go. I'm the bride; you can't look 161 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,543 Better than me. Done. 162 00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,745 I'm going to get the bouquet. 163 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:20,979 You guys get the veil. 164 00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,848 We'll meet in the chapel in 20 minutes. 165 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,950 Ready, break. 166 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,754 You guys want to go gamble? 167 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,055 No, we got to go get the veil. 168 00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,923 Or we looked everywhere, and we couldn't find one. 169 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,358 Yeah, okay. 170 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,760 No, you guys go ahead. 171 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,795 I'm going to find the veil. 172 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,232 So this is it, right? 173 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,767 The last 20 minutes of your single life. 174 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:42,868 I'm proud of you, buddy. 175 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,703 Thanks. How are you feeling? 176 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,171 Great, a little nervous. Yeah? Craps? 177 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,073 Not that nervous. No, I mean do you want to play craps. 178 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,841 Oh, yeah, definitely. 179 00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:50,942 Okay, I got the veil. 180 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,878 She wasn't ready to be married. 181 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:54,112 All right, let's talk bachelor party. 182 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,447 Are we thinking full-on strip club, 183 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:56,882 Or should we rent a room 184 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,784 And have a private toy show... Whew. 185 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,352 What did you just say? 186 00:07:00,354 --> 00:07:01,953 Barney, no. 187 00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,789 Marshall, I'm your best man. 188 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,290 You're not my best man. Right here. 189 00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,926 And as your best man, I have to throw you a bachelor party. 190 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,761 That's part of being a best friend. 191 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,096 You're not my best friend. Right here. 192 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,131 Barney, I don't have any time for a bachelor party. 193 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:15,267 I've got, like, 18 minutes. 194 00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,637 18 minutes. 195 00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:21,873 Oh, good. Did you get the veil? 196 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:22,875 Of course. 197 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,811 And it took us exactly 18 minutes. 198 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,779 We went to a strip club. 199 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:28,713 Dude! Unbelievable! 200 00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,148 We weren't there for very long. 201 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,083 It's not like I had time to have a lap dance or anything. 202 00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,052 I got a lap dance. You...! 203 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,587 Aw, your last lap dance ever. 204 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,255 Right... What? 205 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,057 Okay, I'm here. 206 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,159 Right? Ooh. 207 00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:44,396 Oh, god, the things people waste money on in atlantic city. 208 00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:45,831 Does it smell like strippers in here? 209 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,098 That's weird, right? 210 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,401 Marshall and lily are getting married! 211 00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:51,236 Yeah. Whoo! Hell, yeah, look at this. 212 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,142 Oh, baby, this is it. 213 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,410 Let's do this thing. 214 00:07:58,412 --> 00:07:59,911 All right. All right. 215 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:00,946 Hi. 216 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,514 We're here to get married. 217 00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,015 Congratulations. 218 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,985 We offer a variety of packages to give you the special day 219 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,687 You've always dreamed about. 220 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,856 We don't want any of that. 221 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,657 Just your basic quickie wedding will be fine. 222 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,893 Yeah. 223 00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:18,597 You know this isn't vegas, right? 224 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,599 Robin: Well, sure. 225 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,800 In vegas, the casinos pump in oxygen. 226 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,870 Here, it looks like everyone brought their own. 227 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,671 What? 228 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,707 It also takes three days 229 00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,842 To get a marriage license in new jersey. 230 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,777 The earliest I could book you for is Monday. 231 00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,779 No, no, no, it has to be today. 232 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,047 That's the whole point. 233 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,682 Look, I don't know what to say, 234 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,385 But if you guys don't want to book a wedding for Monday 235 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,621 Or play a round of keno, I can't help you. 236 00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,024 Thirty-five. 237 00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,833 Wait, wait, wait, I don't understand. 238 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:56,368 People get married in atlantic city all the time. 239 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,537 Yes, they do, but they don't elope. 240 00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:01,339 They choose atlantic city for its white-sand beaches, 241 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:05,243 World-class amenities, and exotic riviera feel. 242 00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,845 Have you been outside? 243 00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,380 There is half an orca whale 244 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:10,549 Rotting not 20 feet from the cabana. 245 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,017 You guys, take it easy, guys. 246 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,051 Are you sure about this? 247 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,853 About the marriage laws of the state 248 00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:16,588 Where I work in a wedding chapel? 249 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,590 Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 250 00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,993 Bright side: The bachelor party continues! 251 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,395 Yes! 252 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,397 Continues? You mean "start." he means "start." 253 00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,933 We went to a strip club. 254 00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:30,168 Twenty-seven. 255 00:09:32,038 --> 00:09:34,739 Is there any way that we could get a license today? 256 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,441 You could go to the courthouse. 257 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:39,344 In some extreme circumstances, the waiting period 258 00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,913 Can be waived, but you have to have a good reason. 259 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,448 Well, we're in love. 260 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,383 What better reason could there be? 261 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:48,019 The last one I heard was, "I'm going to iraq tomorrow 262 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:51,957 "To defend my country," but, you know, give yours a whirl. 263 00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:55,760 Ted: So, we went to the courthouse. 264 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:58,964 God, this is taking forever. 265 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,933 Can't believe they're getting married. 266 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,101 I know. 267 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,436 I am so proud of these two. 268 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:05,704 After all they've been through. 269 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:08,873 In fact, that crazy road has led them 270 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,609 All the way here to atlantic city. 271 00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:12,077 Ted, up here. 272 00:10:12,079 --> 00:10:13,244 Huh? 273 00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:16,548 You were just staring at my shirt boobs. 274 00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:17,582 No! I wasn't. 275 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:19,150 I-I was checking out the hot bod 276 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,386 Underneath the shirt. 277 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:24,456 Okay, look, maybe I was looking at your shirt, 278 00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:28,226 But it's a, it's a funny, funny shirt. 279 00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,395 Hey, it's barney! 280 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,497 Barney! Hi. 281 00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:38,036 Suit up. 282 00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:47,178 Legend. 283 00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:49,781 Daddy. 284 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,583 Ah! American daddy. 285 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,923 What the hell was that? 286 00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:01,660 A... Chinese guy? 287 00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,429 Hi. Hello. 288 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,597 Uh, we need a marriage license, 289 00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:08,366 But we need to skip the waiting period because... 290 00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,601 We're in love. 291 00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,336 Aw. I'm gonna waive 292 00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,438 This waiting period right now. 293 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,939 Oh, really?! 294 00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:17,809 Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period, 295 00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,711 But, unfortunately, only a judge can do that. 296 00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:22,480 Oh. Well, so can we see a judge? 297 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:23,381 Absolutely. 298 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,649 Really?! 299 00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:27,185 Is what I would say if there was any chance 300 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,521 Of you seeing a judge today, which there isn't. 301 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,323 Why are you doing this to us?! 302 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:35,560 'Cause you're on candid camera! 303 00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,528 Really?! 304 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:37,729 Is what I would say... 305 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:40,065 You know what? We get it. 306 00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:44,235 Okay, this is a good plan b. 307 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,970 Judges are people. 308 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:49,040 People go to the bathroom. A judge is bound to come by eventually, 309 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,341 And we'll get married. 310 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:53,478 I'm sure we won't be waiting long. 311 00:11:59,018 --> 00:12:02,353 Geez, you go to a vending machine for 30 seconds. 312 00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:04,489 Vultures. 313 00:12:05,524 --> 00:12:07,158 Psst. 314 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,430 What? 315 00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:15,100 Here? 316 00:12:15,102 --> 00:12:18,336 Yeah. Got a little time to kill. 317 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:21,372 Oh, my god, it's the t-shirt, isn't it? 318 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,440 No. 319 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,842 A little. 320 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,511 Something is seriously wrong with you. 321 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,012 So what, is that a no? 322 00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:30,715 All right, let's do it. 323 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,917 All right. Um, also...? 324 00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,052 Yes, I'll leave it on. 325 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,253 Sweet. 326 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,421 Guys, let's bail. 327 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,957 This is never gonna happen. Look, 328 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,392 I know this turning into a bit of a disaster, 329 00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:44,129 But believe me, it's better than the alternative. 330 00:12:44,131 --> 00:12:46,064 You throwing a big, free party 331 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:48,099 With lots of booze and food and all your single, 332 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,701 Desperate girlfriends from college? 333 00:12:49,703 --> 00:12:52,470 Yeah, glad we dodged that bullet. 334 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,873 : Judge! Judge, come on. 335 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,435 Come on, come on, come on! 336 00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:06,076 Turn it off. Okay. 337 00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:09,621 May we please get married today? 338 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,756 Now, normally I would say no 339 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:14,492 To a request like that, but you two impress me. 340 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,127 Hmm, just the fact that you've 341 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,296 Been together for ten years, 342 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:21,666 Standing by each other's side through thick and thin, 343 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:23,301 Never wavering. 344 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:26,004 What was that? 345 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,438 What was what? 346 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,407 That little look. What was that? 347 00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:32,410 A look of love. Mmm. 348 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,312 You two have stood together 349 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,014 Through thick and thin, right? 350 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,315 You know, man, listen, yeah, I mean, 351 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,983 What's thick, what's thin? All... Yeah. 352 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:41,019 I have. 353 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:42,520 All right, what was that look? 354 00:13:43,622 --> 00:13:44,856 What's going on? 355 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:46,324 They broke up over the summer. 356 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,426 Lily totally ran off to san francisco 357 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,508 And these two just had sex in the closet. 358 00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:53,364 What? We're under oath. 359 00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,133 No, we're not. 360 00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:56,701 Yeah, we are. 361 00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:58,336 He's a judge. 362 00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:00,205 Wh... did we take an oath? 363 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:02,373 Do you even know what an oath is? 364 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,342 Uh, yeah. 365 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,445 Courthouse. Oath. We're under it. 366 00:14:12,318 --> 00:14:13,685 Guys. 367 00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,320 It's looking like this isn't gonna happen. 368 00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:18,189 No, marshall, we are gonna get married today. 369 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,692 Baby, anyplace we go, we're gonna need a marriage license. 370 00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,962 Except international waters. 371 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,130 So-so let's find a ship captain. 372 00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,665 A ship captain can marry us. 373 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,034 There's boats all over this place. 374 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,469 Oh, is that what those wooden things are 375 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,637 Floating between the garbage? 376 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,505 This is a great idea. 377 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,067 This is gonna work. Let's go. 378 00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,477 Excuse me. 379 00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,712 Are you a ship captain? 380 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,780 This is my machine. 381 00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:46,351 I should go talk to her. 382 00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,052 No, let me. 383 00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:51,422 Blackjack? Yeah. 384 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,494 Well, I found a guy who said he'd be willing 385 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:59,364 To put his boat in my slip, so we're getting closer. 386 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:00,999 Okay, lil, 387 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,534 Why is it so important to do this today? 388 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,770 Because... 389 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:08,840 If we don't do it today, I just know we're gonna wind up 390 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:11,542 Having a huge wedding with a huge crowd 391 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,012 Full of huge midwestern people 392 00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,847 Looking all disapproving and judging me 393 00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,749 While sipping little cups of mayonnaise 394 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,585 And-and cracking runaway bride jokes all night long. 395 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,786 Nobody's gonna do that. 396 00:15:21,788 --> 00:15:23,021 No, they're not because 397 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,255 I'm not gonna give them the chance. 398 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,523 I'm gonna find a ship captain 399 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,258 And we're gonna be married tonight. 400 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,760 Sweetie, this is crazy. 401 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:31,029 You're never gonna find a ship capt... Hey, lily. 402 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:33,131 Found a ship captain. What? 403 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,866 Yeah. First guy we talked to. 404 00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:35,767 Ship captain. 405 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,602 How great is that? 406 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,571 See? See, this is destiny. 407 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,407 So, captain, can you take us out 408 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,575 To international waters and marry us? 409 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:46,644 I sure can. If there's two things I love, 410 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:48,746 It's bringing people together in marriage 411 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,648 And making $5,000. 412 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,283 What? Deal. 413 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,585 $5,000, okay, we can do that. Come on, everybody. 414 00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,387 Fork over your cash. Don't think. 415 00:15:56,389 --> 00:15:57,389 Just do it. 416 00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,958 I can get us that money. How? 417 00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,093 Have you noticed that all day today 418 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,462 Chinese guys have been coming up and saying hi to me? 419 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:07,332 Yes. Have you noticed I haven't asked about it 420 00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,334 Because I'm too scared of the answer? 421 00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,469 Well, those are my old gambling buddies. 422 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,172 Truth is... I used to come here all the time. 423 00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:15,773 Play an old chinese game called 424 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,742 "shing hasabu shing". 425 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,578 Had a small gambling problem. 426 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,413 Actually, it wasn't so small. 427 00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,583 I... Kind of lost my entire life savings. 428 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,705 But tonight, I don't know, I'm feeling hot. 429 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,355 I think I can win us that money. 430 00:16:30,357 --> 00:16:31,956 No, we're not letting you gamble 431 00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:33,324 All our money away. 432 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,525 Uh, it's not gambling 433 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,828 If you absolutely know you're going to win. 434 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:40,298 I'll get us that money. 435 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,467 I swear it... nay... 436 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,836 I oath it. 437 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,637 Now, I had been to a lot 438 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:49,340 Of casinos before that night, and I've been to a lot 439 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,775 Of casinos since, 440 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:53,044 But in all that time I've never seen a game 441 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,645 Quite like this one. 442 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,148 To this day, I have no idea how it was played. 443 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,549 But luckily, barney did. 444 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,953 Do you understand what's happening? 445 00:17:01,955 --> 00:17:03,287 Not a clue. 446 00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:25,410 Do you think he's winning? 447 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,112 I don't even know if he's playing. 448 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:35,753 Wait, I get it. I understand this game. 449 00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:37,422 No, you don't. 450 00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:38,756 I totally understand the game, theodore. 451 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,091 Barney, split your tiles. 452 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,859 You can triple your money if you find the jellybean. 453 00:17:41,861 --> 00:17:43,327 Marshall, please. 454 00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:45,496 Don't you think I know what I'm... 455 00:17:46,532 --> 00:17:48,599 My god, you're right. 456 00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,574 Wow. 457 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:30,741 It's beautiful. 458 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:32,877 Thanks, barney. Did you guys see me? 459 00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,278 I was on fire tonight. 460 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,379 Man, I can't wait to get back to the shore. 461 00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:36,914 God, I love gambling! 462 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,382 When we get home, we're gonna go 463 00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:39,984 To a little meeting. Okay? 464 00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:41,953 Why can't I do it just a little? 465 00:18:43,155 --> 00:18:45,156 Okay. 466 00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:48,392 Let's get this started. 467 00:18:48,394 --> 00:18:50,128 All right. 468 00:18:50,130 --> 00:18:51,562 Okay, uh... 469 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,565 You guys want the serious one or the funny one? 470 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:57,502 Oh, I think... Serious would be best. 471 00:18:57,504 --> 00:18:58,936 You sure? 472 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,506 I got a lot of great nautical jokes in there. 473 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:04,842 Like how you two float each other's boat, stuff like that. 474 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,345 Yeah, serious is probably good. 475 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,547 All right. 476 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,118 "We stand witness today 477 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,854 "to celebrate the union of lily 478 00:19:16,856 --> 00:19:18,956 "and marshall. 479 00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:21,025 "Today, you two will become one, 480 00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,361 "sharing your lives, 481 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:25,530 "the happiness, the sadness, 482 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,632 The frustrations and the joy..." 483 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:30,101 This is pretty cool. 484 00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:32,470 I can't believe you never want to get married. 485 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,372 I never said "never." 486 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,340 "To declare your love 487 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:38,476 "and devotion to each other 488 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,645 "in front of friends and family, 489 00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:44,549 All the people who matter most to you." 490 00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:45,983 What was that? 491 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,486 What was what? 492 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:49,987 That little look. 493 00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,556 You two just shared a look. 494 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:57,562 We don't want to do this. 495 00:19:57,564 --> 00:19:59,330 We don't. 496 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,165 Are you kidding me? 497 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:03,167 You guys are calling off another wedding? 498 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:04,669 After I spent all this money 499 00:20:04,671 --> 00:20:07,471 On a bridesmaid shirt? 500 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:08,673 Did I bet someone that they'd call it off? 501 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,641 I did, didn't I? Who'd I bet? 502 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,176 You actually expect any of us are gonna 503 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,477 Come to your third wedding? 504 00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:16,981 Yes. 'cause it's gonna be amazing. 505 00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,684 Look, before I was afraid 506 00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:22,019 To face marshall's family and-and I didn't 507 00:20:22,021 --> 00:20:24,055 Want to do all that work, 508 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:26,357 But now that we're here... 509 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,260 I realize that I have to face marshall's family 510 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:31,862 And I really want to do all that work. 511 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,364 So do I. 512 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,665 And yeah... 513 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,767 My family might still be upset with you. 514 00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,703 But when they see us up there, 515 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:40,605 They're gonna see how much we love each other 516 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,573 And none of that other stuff is gonna matter. 517 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,208 I love you, marshmallow. 518 00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,510 I love you, too, lily pad. 519 00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:48,212 I now pronounce you man and wife. 520 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,547 What?! What?! 521 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:50,881 What, is that not right? 522 00:20:50,883 --> 00:20:52,583 Are... We married? 523 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,552 Did you just marry us? Weren't you listening? 524 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:55,686 We don't want to be married. 525 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,788 Uh... I-I suppose 526 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,690 I could unpronounce you. 527 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,426 Both: Unpronounce us. Unpronounce us! 528 00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,729 All right, I unpronounce you man and wife. 529 00:21:04,731 --> 00:21:06,597 Oh, whew... That was close. 530 00:21:07,467 --> 00:21:11,969 Uncle marshall and aunt lily got married for 12 seconds 531 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,805 Somewhere off the coast of atlantic city. 532 00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:22,546 Hey, guys. Both: Hey. 533 00:21:22,548 --> 00:21:24,715 Ted. Ted. 534 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:34,725 Is robin here? 535 00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:36,961 Man, I hope so.