1 00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:04,770 Ted: Some kids dream of being astronauts. 2 00:00:04,772 --> 00:00:07,006 Some kids dream of playing baseball. 3 00:00:07,008 --> 00:00:09,274 When I was a kid, I had only one dream. 4 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,210 To build a skyscraper. 5 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,112 That's stupid. 6 00:00:14,447 --> 00:00:16,548 There were some obstacles along the way. 7 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,617 But eventually my dream came true. 8 00:00:18,619 --> 00:00:21,687 I became an architect. 9 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:22,955 Morning, everyone! 10 00:00:22,957 --> 00:00:27,860 So, I had an idea for the atrium. 11 00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,061 Ready? 12 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,763 Columns. 13 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:33,799 That's stupid. 14 00:00:33,823 --> 00:00:41,823 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 15 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,686 I... I can't believe 16 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,355 You knocked over my model. 17 00:00:56,357 --> 00:01:00,492 Well, it's just... It's not exactly new is it... columns? 18 00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:03,529 I mean, what's your next groundbreaking idea... ceilings? 19 00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:04,997 Floors? 20 00:01:04,999 --> 00:01:06,031 Windows? 21 00:01:06,033 --> 00:01:07,766 Ted: I know what you're thinking: 22 00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:09,101 Who's this jerk? 23 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,670 Well, this jerk was hammond druthers, 24 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:14,039 A legend in the architecture community. 25 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:16,842 Very big in the '80s. 26 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:19,912 He was also far and away the worst boss I ever had. 27 00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:23,048 Then I designed the spokane national bank building. 28 00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,249 And suddenly... 29 00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,918 I was his boss. 30 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,719 And he didn't like it. Stairs? 31 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:31,190 And to be honest, I wasn't sure I liked it either. 32 00:01:31,192 --> 00:01:34,593 See, before, when I was just another employee, 33 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,528 I was happy, carefree. 34 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,530 The guy who hung out in the break room 35 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:39,765 Making fun of the boss. 36 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,300 Did you see what he was wearing today? 37 00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,402 It was like his pants were being held up by his nipples. 38 00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,806 Yeah, and that shirt with the flowers, 39 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:49,274 I get hay fever just looking at it. 40 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,412 But suddenly I was a different guy. 41 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,281 Hey, guys. 42 00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,317 What's so funny? 43 00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,085 Nothing. 44 00:02:00,087 --> 00:02:02,788 Um... Nice shirt. 45 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,256 Thanks. 46 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,924 The hours were insane. 47 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:09,394 I was always working even when I wasn't at work. 48 00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,096 Oh, robin... 49 00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,798 I just had a great idea. 50 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:16,201 Oh, do whatever you want to me just don't wake me up. 51 00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:21,974 Before, I used to be this guy. 52 00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:24,309 Dude, of course you should take the day off 53 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,644 For the foo fighters concert. 54 00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:26,411 Just say you're sick. 55 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:27,746 But now... 56 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,148 I was this guy. 57 00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,150 Sick, huh? 58 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,218 Unbutton your shirt. 59 00:02:35,188 --> 00:02:38,524 Hmm... "foo fighters." 60 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:41,193 Get back to work. 61 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:44,129 But still, the worst part was druthers. 62 00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:45,131 Well, I was thinking... 63 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:46,098 Ceilings? 64 00:02:46,100 --> 00:02:46,832 Oops. 65 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,133 Said that already. 66 00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:51,803 Then again, you seem to like rehashing old ideas. 67 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,772 I'm kidding, of course. 68 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,307 Another hole in one, boss. 69 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,945 Oh, wow, he must be really good-looking. 70 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:01,213 Why would you say that? 71 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,648 Well, 'cause only good-looking people can get away 72 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:03,715 With saying things like that. 73 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,617 I have found that to be true. 74 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,539 It's a blessing and a curse really. 75 00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:10,155 Ted, you can't let him treat you like that. 76 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,290 Yeah, you gotta ask yourself, 77 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:12,191 Who's the boss? 78 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,193 Tony. 79 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:14,826 Angela. Mona. 80 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:15,694 Mona? 81 00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:16,862 Watch it more closely. 82 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:18,197 Rock your world. 83 00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:20,165 So, what are you gonna do? 84 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,733 Well... 85 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,802 It's awkward, I mean, the guy used to be my boss. 86 00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,737 So, I went to talk to the managing partner. 87 00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,972 Fire him. 88 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,840 Well, sir, I was thinking 89 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,475 He could just be put on a different project. 90 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:31,643 Fire him. 91 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:33,745 He's an arrogant, washed-up, 92 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:34,913 Pain in the ass. 93 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,081 In fact, 94 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,050 Fire everyone on that project. 95 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,985 Druthers, mosby, 96 00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,353 The whole lot of them. 97 00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,754 Mosby, sir? 98 00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,856 I, I... I hear mosby's doing some great work. 99 00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,692 Fine, mosby can stay. 100 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:48,994 But tell him he's on thin ice. 101 00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:52,931 Come here. 102 00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:57,603 I like you, crosby. 103 00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:00,606 You mind if I charge my phone? 104 00:04:00,608 --> 00:04:01,740 Knock yourself out. 105 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,376 Well, ted, if you do fire druthers, 106 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,577 The key is timing. 107 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,080 Remember when I had to fire my makeup artist? 108 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,581 Vicki, um... 109 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,850 I'm so sorry about this, 110 00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:14,786 But there's been some budget cuts and, um, 111 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,521 We have to let you go. 112 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,024 I mean, after tonight. 113 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:22,060 I still need my makeup for the broadcast. 114 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:23,695 So... 115 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:29,468 Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims. 116 00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:30,869 You know what? I'm gonna do it. 117 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,638 I'm gonna fire druthers tomorrow. 118 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,477 Oh, my god! What? 119 00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:39,544 Do you know about this? 120 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,713 No. What is that? 121 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:44,216 Only the greatest thing ever. 122 00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:47,619 Wait, wait, wait... That's not enough buildup. 123 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:50,155 If they were to cure cancer tomorrow, 124 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:52,624 This would still be the greatest thing to happen all week. 125 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,925 Okay. 126 00:04:53,927 --> 00:04:57,996 Now you're ready for naked marshall. 127 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,197 Oh, my god. 128 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,167 This is awesome times awesome. 129 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,335 It's awesome squared. 130 00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,970 I know, right? 131 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,638 Behind the piano this whole time. Wait. 132 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,840 If marshall went to all this trouble to hide it, 133 00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,609 He clearly doesn't want us to find it. 134 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,011 Oh, come on, robin. No, 135 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,573 I'm saying that he must be really embarrassed by this. 136 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,684 We are gonna have so much fun. 137 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,485 I know! We're gonna have so much fun! 138 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,155 Oh, sorry I'm late; lunch ran a little long. 139 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,623 You wanted to see me, mosby? 140 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,591 Uh, yeah, like four hours ago. 141 00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,827 Well, excuse me, 142 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:30,762 For spending the last four hours 143 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,831 Drawing designs for your building. 144 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,367 This is a cocktail napkin. 145 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:38,070 Covered in profanity. 146 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,505 Look, hammond, 147 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,208 Um, there's no easy way to say this, 148 00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,676 So... 149 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,345 Why don't we just, um, 150 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:48,113 Step into your office. 151 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,149 Group: ♪ happy birthday 152 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,452 Oh... ♪ to you 153 00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:56,154 ♪ happy birthday to you oh, you had me. 154 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,823 You so had me. 155 00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:01,026 ♪ Happy birthday, dear hammond ♪ 156 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:04,663 Oh! ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ 157 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,831 Robin: So, you 158 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:06,833 Didn't fire him? 159 00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,468 I can't fire a guy on his birthday. 160 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:10,402 Everyone would hate me. 161 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,337 Besides, they put a party hat on me. 162 00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,772 My authority was compromised. 163 00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,141 Oh, hey, marshall. 164 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,642 Have a seat. 165 00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:21,313 I know how much you love stools. 166 00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:23,014 Mm, thanks. 167 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,549 Yeah, stools are better for your posture. 168 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:25,817 And, uh... 169 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:29,187 I... Got you a rose. 170 00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:30,322 Thank you. 171 00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:31,523 That's so sweet. 172 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:32,758 You guys are being... 173 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,259 So sweet. 174 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,360 Hey, guys. 175 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,595 Guess what I got. 176 00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:37,829 A new dart. 177 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,598 Oh, wow, a new dart. Ted: Oh. 178 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,366 Hey, that new dart is great. 179 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,835 I did not know you were such a fan of new dart, barney. 180 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:46,037 Oh, yes, robin, I just love new dart. 181 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,206 Nude art. 182 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:49,341 Nude art. Nude art. 183 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,565 Okay, all right, so what, you guys found the painting, huh? 184 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,680 I knew this day would come. 185 00:06:55,682 --> 00:06:56,782 How did you know that? 186 00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:59,618 Because I didn't hide it very well. 187 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,287 Ted: So the story on the painting is that, back in college, 188 00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:04,689 Lily wanted to do a nude study for her art class. 189 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,591 Marshall wasn't so into the idea. 190 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,626 Well, I just... 191 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:08,927 Don't think that some dude 192 00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,630 Should drop trou just to pose for you. 193 00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,465 It's for class, 194 00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:16,134 And it's just that weird kid hunter from my freshman hall. 195 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:17,869 The frisbee dude with the soul patch? 196 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,771 He's like the hottest guy in school! 197 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,373 No, he's actually a little husky... Oh, 198 00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:22,641 He's just huggable! 199 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,409 And complicated... 200 00:07:24,411 --> 00:07:26,211 And a little bit of a jerk. 201 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,780 Just enough so you think maybe you can change him. 202 00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,949 Okay, just forget it. 203 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:35,153 Call me old-fashioned, 204 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:38,390 I just think that I'm the only guy you should see naked. 205 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:40,625 Well, then you'll have to do it. 206 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,761 Are you kidding me? 207 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,629 What if somebody sees it? 208 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,765 We're not in high school anymore. 209 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:50,068 People don't make fun of you for posing nude for a painting. 210 00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:52,571 We're adults now. 211 00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:53,905 We totally saw your butt. 212 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,612 This painting has caused too much grief already. 213 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:03,148 I'm destroying it right now. 214 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,283 : Oh, no, what's the matter, marshall? 215 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,451 Where is it? 216 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,153 I'll tell you where it is 217 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,955 If you'll answer these riddles three. 218 00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:11,490 You hung it up in the bar, didn't you? 219 00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,258 Yo, why you gotta ruin my riddles? 220 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,126 Oh...! 221 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,361 Field trip! 222 00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,000 Barney: Oh, no. 223 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,135 Someone put your painting up behind the bar. 224 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,770 Classic! 225 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:27,205 What a memorable prank. 226 00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:29,941 Hey, marshall. 227 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:30,976 What'll you have? 228 00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,477 What'll I have? 229 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,479 Um, I don't know, maybe a beer 230 00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,982 And that nude painting of me hanging behind the bar! 231 00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,950 Ooh, I'm sorry, that painting's property of the bar. 232 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,318 I know that barney gave you that painting. 233 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:41,720 I don't know what you're talking about. 234 00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:42,954 Whatever he's paying you, I'll pay you double. 235 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:43,722 I doubt it. 236 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,789 Whatever he's paying you, 237 00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:46,024 I'll give you that plus ten bucks. 238 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:46,858 I doubt it. 239 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:47,993 All right, you know what, carl, 240 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,060 You just lost yourself a regular customer. 241 00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:50,795 I doubt it. 242 00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:57,107 This painting is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. 243 00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:01,907 Okay, where should we put it up next? 244 00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,141 In his law school? 245 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,643 Ooh on the side of a bus. 246 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,077 Oh, oh! How much do billboards cost? 247 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:08,747 Easy, scherbatsky. Finesse. 248 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,348 I've got a five-year rollout plan. 249 00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,983 I'll have you know that painting's 250 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,652 Got commitments all over the city. 251 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,020 Then, after new york... 252 00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,321 I'm thinking. 253 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,756 Heh-yah! 254 00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:20,825 Hey! 255 00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,896 One of my worst fears has come true... 256 00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,998 I just saw marshall grabbing himself naked. 257 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,200 Well, I gotta go. 258 00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,368 Believe it or not, 259 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,703 I have to go back to the office. 260 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:32,571 Oh, I'll go out with you. 261 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,638 Bye, guys. 262 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,342 You know, I wish everyone didn't have to make fun 263 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,443 Of that painting. 264 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,178 Eh, we're not making fun of the painting, 265 00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,680 We're just making fun of marshall. 266 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,781 The painting's actually really great. 267 00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,282 Are you serious? 268 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:45,417 Yeah. 269 00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:47,252 Well, thank you. 270 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,689 You know, seeing it again makes me miss painting nudes. 271 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:54,392 What? 272 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:57,062 Paint me. 273 00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:58,496 What? 274 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,833 Paint me. 275 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:08,273 Who's that? 276 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:09,708 Who's out there? 277 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,543 Hammond, is that you? 278 00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,878 Mosby? 279 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,581 Druthers and I were alone in the office. 280 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:18,249 If I was gonna fire him, 281 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,151 This would be the best chance I'd ever have. 282 00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,920 Uh, look, just a second, ted. 283 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,389 Uh, no, I, I really need to talk to you. 284 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,324 Look, there's no easy way to say... 285 00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,626 What, what are you doing? 286 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,228 What are you doing? 287 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,564 I'm standing here wearing pants. 288 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,933 Are you sleeping here? 289 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,334 What's going on? 290 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:37,769 Okay, fine, yes. 291 00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,471 Not that it's any of your business 292 00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:42,240 But my wife had a little spat a few weeks ago, 293 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,110 And I've been sleeping here until she cools off. 294 00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:47,812 Okay, well, uh, you're right... That is none of my business. 295 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,948 Uh, look, there's no easy way to say this... I... 296 00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,583 Who am I kidding? 297 00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:54,152 She's never gonna take me back. 298 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,588 Uh... 299 00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,926 it's okay. 300 00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:09,859 What did you want to say to me? 301 00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,972 Happy birthday, buddy. 302 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,874 Oh... 303 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,549 So, you've been living at the office? 304 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:26,618 Yes. 305 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,521 I'm an architect without a home. 306 00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:31,990 You see the tragic irony in that? 307 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,125 Yeah, I do. 'cause I design homes. 308 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,226 I see it. But I don't have a home. 309 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,062 Not lost on me at all. 310 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:40,198 But I don't understand... why don't you just go to a hotel? 311 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,068 You could be sleeping on a mattress instead of... 312 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:46,705 What appears to be torn-up drawings of my building. 313 00:11:46,707 --> 00:11:48,173 The minute I go to a hotel, in any second, 314 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,295 She's going to call and tell me to come home. 315 00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:55,046 She's a very special lady, ted. 316 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:58,750 She's quite... Mannish. 317 00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:02,053 She gives me what I need. 318 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,221 Do you understand that? 319 00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:06,658 Uh, no, I don't. 320 00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:09,327 If you were lost in the wilderness, 321 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,730 She can provide for me. 322 00:12:11,732 --> 00:12:14,499 Well, that's the dream. 323 00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:17,902 I'm glad you came here tonight, ted. 324 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,070 Me too, hammond. 325 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:19,938 Call me ham. 326 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:20,371 No, thanks. 327 00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,406 Hammy d? 328 00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,528 No, I think just hammond. 329 00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:26,111 So, I'm guessing you didn't fire him. 330 00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:31,716 I was this close. 331 00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:34,119 Ted: Meanwhile, lily had been up all night 332 00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,920 In the grips of a dilemma. 333 00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:48,199 Oh honey, you're awake? I'm awake. 334 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,601 Uh-huh. 335 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,536 I everything okay? Yeah. 336 00:12:51,538 --> 00:12:55,273 I've kind of been wrestling with something. 337 00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,408 What if I told you I had a way to pay for our honeymoon? 338 00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,644 Baby, our honeymoon's already paid for. 339 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,813 We're going to howe caverns. 340 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,449 Well yeah, but... but what if we didn't want to spend 341 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,751 Our honeymoon in a cave? 342 00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:10,622 It's not just a cave, it's a whole labyrinth of caves. 343 00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:11,890 It's an underground adventure. 344 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,491 There's a cave 345 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,460 That's so dark that you don't even know you're in there. 346 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,561 I mean, we're going to experience 347 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,563 A whole new kind of dark. 348 00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,965 Well, what if I found a way 349 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,734 To make a little extra money 350 00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:24,435 So that we spend our honeymoon 351 00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:27,806 Not in howe caverns, but in scotland? 352 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,607 Loch ness? 353 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,576 Yeah. And you know, edinburgh 354 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,511 And the highlands and glasgow... 355 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:37,315 Loch ness. Nessy. 356 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,251 Baby, I would love to search for the enchanted creature 357 00:13:40,253 --> 00:13:41,753 Of the emerald loch, but... 358 00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:43,288 We can't afford that. 359 00:13:43,290 --> 00:13:45,523 Maybe we can. 360 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:49,494 Paint me. 361 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,162 Okay, I don't get this. 362 00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,431 You've been making fun of that painting all this time 363 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:54,933 And now you want me to paint you? 364 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:57,635 We knew we could torture marshall because he has shame. 365 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:58,770 I do not. 366 00:13:58,772 --> 00:14:01,506 In my body, where the shame gland should be, 367 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,942 There's a second awesome gland. 368 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,677 True story. 369 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,213 Yeah, that's not the gland I'm worried about painting. 370 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,381 Yeah. 371 00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:13,184 A nude barney is a challenge. 372 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,855 But I think you're talented enough to immortalize this. 373 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:19,724 Now is the time... I'm 31. 374 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,393 I'm at the peak of my physical beauty. 375 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,728 If I were a woman, 376 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:26,564 I'd have passed it long, long ago. 377 00:14:27,132 --> 00:14:29,300 Long ago. 378 00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:31,069 Forget it. 379 00:14:31,071 --> 00:14:33,905 I promised marshall he was the only guy I would ever see naked. 380 00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:35,974 Aww... 381 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:38,910 I'll give you $5,000. 382 00:14:38,912 --> 00:14:40,812 We're going to loch ness! 383 00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:41,814 Yeah! 384 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,584 That cabby would not shut up. 385 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:48,319 Yeah, we should call him a gabby. 386 00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,455 I think it, you say it. 387 00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:52,924 Hey, uh... 388 00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:54,993 Thanks for putting me up last night, buddy. 389 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,761 Give 'em hell. 390 00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:01,032 Morning, team. 391 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:03,334 So, I have given it some thought, 392 00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:07,272 And I say we revisit columns. 393 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:09,874 Oh, god, not this again. 394 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,743 Ted, a man in a toga 395 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,678 Just arrived and delivered a parchment. 396 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,847 Let me read it: 397 00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:17,515 Oh! It's from ancient greece. 398 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,018 They want their basic architectural elements back. 399 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:21,920 Oh, geez. 400 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:22,587 What? 401 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,022 You didn't hear me? 402 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,290 Toga, parchment... 403 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,859 Can I see you for one second? 404 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:30,929 Ooh, I'm in trouble now. 405 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,133 What are you doing? 406 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,634 I thought we were friends. 407 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,870 You slept on my couch, you ate my cereal. 408 00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,405 I tossed you more toilet paper. 409 00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,640 We ar friends. 410 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:46,577 But that doesn't magically make your bad ideas good. 411 00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:48,379 What? I don't believe this! 412 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,448 You're, you're, you're wearing my clothes! 413 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,916 And my girlfriend's... 414 00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:54,953 Sneakers... man, you have weirdly small feet. 415 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:57,288 Ted, I hope that you're not going to let 416 00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,792 Our professional woes interfere with our friendship, 417 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:04,128 Because I really kind of need you right now. 418 00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,599 Okay, let's get this over with. 419 00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:11,169 Hey, hey! I don't want you phoning this in. 420 00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:14,072 This painting could, someday, become a serious work of art. 421 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,140 I mean, you have been blessed with an amazing gift. 422 00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,942 Thank you. 423 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,711 I meant me. 424 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,614 Now, I like how you captured marshall's essence. 425 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,850 Goofy and unburdened, with wit. 426 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,453 But me, I want something more regal. 427 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,855 Something my progeny could look at and say, 428 00:16:30,857 --> 00:16:33,491 "there's stands barnabus stinson." 429 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,793 He was wise... 430 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:38,596 And strong. 431 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,366 I don't think your sword will fit. 432 00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:43,167 I get that a lot. 433 00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:46,838 Ted: And so, as lily began painting, 434 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,940 Marshall thought about the $5,000 435 00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:51,376 And what his fiancée was doing to earn it. 436 00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,945 This isn't right. 437 00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:55,947 This isn't right at all. 438 00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:58,383 Finally, he could take it no more. 439 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,955 Hold still. 440 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,257 Hold still. 441 00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:10,028 Hold still! 442 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,729 Paint faster! 443 00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:16,601 Okay, I guess it's time. 444 00:17:17,403 --> 00:17:18,703 Drop your shorts. 445 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:21,372 Yeah. 446 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,673 Wait, wait! 447 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,242 That wasn't enough buildup. 448 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:25,209 I need... 449 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,744 Uh... Ah! 450 00:17:26,746 --> 00:17:29,247 In a world without justice, one man... 451 00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,782 Oh, just drop them! All right. 452 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:33,518 Oh! 453 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,887 No! No, this is not right! 454 00:17:35,889 --> 00:17:38,222 We had a deal! Well, I'm going back on the deal. 455 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,357 Barney, get out! You...! 456 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,125 It's over! 457 00:17:43,862 --> 00:17:46,564 Lily, I can't let you go through with this! 458 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:49,867 : I found a castle we can stay in, but it's an extra two grand. 459 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,903 It's just not right! 460 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:55,173 It's beautiful and they say it's haunted. 461 00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,276 I can't let the woman I love compromise her values for money! 462 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:01,579 I totally think we can get some more money out of him. 463 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,848 I'm never letting my fiancée, ever...! 464 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,383 Oh, you're still here? 465 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:06,884 Before you say anything, 466 00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:09,486 I'll give you an extra five grand. We accept. 467 00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:13,424 You people are so easy to control. 468 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,060 Dance for me, puppets, dance. 469 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,728 Ted: And that's how uncle barney 470 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,797 Paid for lily and marshall's honeymoon. 471 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:24,402 Come on, ted, listen, why don't we get back 472 00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,270 And finish drawing the plans for a building 473 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,539 Which, in my opinion, is never going to get built, 474 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,209 So you and I can get out of here and grab a couple of beers. 475 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,076 No. 476 00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:33,377 Look, hammond, 477 00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,746 There's no easy way to say this but... 478 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:36,914 Messenger: Looking for hammond druthers. 479 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,876 Oh, that's me. I'm hammond druthers. 480 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,686 These are divorce papers. 481 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,388 You've been served. 482 00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:46,090 Oh, god. 483 00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,493 She's really going through with this. 484 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:51,429 So that's it. It's over. 485 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,332 There is no easy way to say this, but... 486 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,868 She's giving me the remains of wolfie? 487 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,270 My dog is dead? 488 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,439 Oh, my god. 489 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:02,640 I can't believe this. 490 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:06,611 She always played too rough with him. 491 00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:09,647 Believe me, there is no easy way to say this... 492 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:12,250 Group: ♪ happy birthday to you... 493 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,417 You've got to be kidding me! 494 00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:14,685 Guys, you have no idea 495 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,687 How much this means to me right now. 496 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,122 Wait, his birthday was yesterday! 497 00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,790 Yeah, but a bunch of us were up at the conference 498 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,159 In montreal, so we thought... 499 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,361 No! No birthday! No! 500 00:19:23,363 --> 00:19:24,462 I got something to say 501 00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,030 And I'm gonna get it out. 502 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,798 Hammond, listen to me. 503 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,300 I am sorry that your dog died, 504 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:31,435 And that your wife is divorcing you and that... 505 00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:35,306 Your life is falling apart and that these guys missed your birthday. 506 00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:36,374 And there is no easy way to say... 507 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,375 What are you doing? What's going on? 508 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:40,011 Oh, god... 509 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:41,646 Oh, come on, you're not going to pull that, are you? 510 00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:44,949 Oh! Look, yeah, right. 511 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,351 Now we're falling onto the ground. 512 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:50,354 Well, nice try, but guess what? 513 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:52,056 You're fired! 514 00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:55,193 You're fired... you get it? You hear me? 515 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,794 You're gone! You're fired! 516 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,515 In my defense, I think we all suspected hammond 517 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,283 Might have been faking. 518 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,588 On the plus side, the emts seem to think 519 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:26,023 He's going to be just fine and, as you saw, 520 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:28,926 They did admit that I did not cause the heart attack, 521 00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,862 Even if they said it a bit begrudgingly. 522 00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:35,266 And there it was, rock bottom: 523 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,368 They all hated me. 524 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:39,904 But just when all seemed lost, 525 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,840 I had the greatest idea of my entire career. 526 00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:49,380 Margarita fridays... Great idea, boss. 527 00:20:59,791 --> 00:21:01,726 Okay, it's done. 528 00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:03,194 I'm gonna 529 00:21:03,196 --> 00:21:04,462 Step out, so you can admire it. 530 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:07,131 Thank you very much, lily. 531 00:21:10,302 --> 00:21:11,736 Marshall, do you have the money? 532 00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:12,637 Yeah. 533 00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,071 Let's get out of here! 534 00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:14,939 Barney: A smooth area?! 535 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,942 You gave me the ken doll?! 536 00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,511 You gave...! 537 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,714 She left out little barney. 538 00:21:24,650 --> 00:21:27,218 Barnacle junior. 539 00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:30,421 My barnana is... 540 00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:31,889 Barnito supreme.