1 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:03,002 Ted: Kids, in the spring of 2007, 2 00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:05,004 Everything was great between me and robin. 3 00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:07,039 So we decided to try and make it even better. 4 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,308 We decided to move in together. 5 00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,210 So, I can have the moving truck here by 8:00 am. 6 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,277 Does that sound good to everybody? 7 00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,447 By the way, what are you guys doing with ted's room? 8 00:00:15,449 --> 00:00:17,282 'Cause if you need help with the rent, I'll take it. 9 00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:19,451 Why would you want to live with us? 10 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:22,154 I don't call what you guys do "living." 11 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,389 Barney: Here's the deal, 12 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,991 I need a room closer to the bar. 13 00:00:25,993 --> 00:00:27,159 It takes me 14 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,128 Exactly 23 minutes to get a girl 15 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,063 From the bar back to my apartment. 16 00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:34,133 A lot can go wrong in 23 minutes. 17 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:38,604 This is going to be so hot. 18 00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,073 Mm. 19 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,645 She's paying. 20 00:00:48,314 --> 00:00:49,515 I swear, 21 00:00:49,517 --> 00:00:51,316 If he doesn't call me back, 22 00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:52,584 I'm going to go through with this. 23 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,319 Please hurry, sir. 24 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,321 I want to do dirty stuff with you. 25 00:00:56,323 --> 00:00:58,524 Stuff I won't let him do. 26 00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,392 Every red light run is an extra $20. 27 00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,062 Baby? 28 00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:04,930 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 29 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,065 It was all my fault. 30 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,335 I am so drunk. 31 00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:16,075 When I'm this drunk, I go crazy! 32 00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:17,543 I bet you do. 33 00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:19,344 Check this out. 34 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,346 Woo-hoo! 35 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,282 What up nypd? 36 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,019 So close. 37 00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:28,520 See? If I had a room here 38 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,522 All I have to do is get them upstairs. 39 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:32,558 Come on, guys. It'll be great! 40 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,593 We'll come in after you guys are asleep 41 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,361 And I'll be gone before you wake up. 42 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,130 So, you get to have sex 43 00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:40,199 And we get to wake some skanky girl up 44 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,533 In the morning and kick her out? 45 00:01:41,535 --> 00:01:43,035 God, lily. 46 00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:44,703 Some guy just told her that he loved her 47 00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:47,139 Then pretended to go to the bathroom and never came back 48 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:50,309 You can't make her a cup of coffee? Real nice. 49 00:01:50,333 --> 00:01:58,333 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 50 00:02:06,426 --> 00:02:09,628 I put all your heavy jackets in this box marked "winter." 51 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:12,397 And all your colorful sweaters in this box 52 00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:14,566 Marked "bill cosby." 53 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:17,402 Make fun, but america loved that guy for a reason. 54 00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,339 Wow! 55 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:21,406 Almost done. 56 00:02:21,408 --> 00:02:23,408 Not so fast. 57 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,412 Take your sword. 58 00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,348 Wow. 59 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,016 End of an era. Yeah. 60 00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,152 It's a bummer to break up the set, 61 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:35,287 But you're going to need that sword. 62 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:38,457 It's true... my building is infested with dragons. 63 00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:39,758 Aw, ma. 64 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,593 Looks like our little boy is finally moving out. 65 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,695 It seems like just yesterday 66 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,764 He was a cute little freshmen. 67 00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,299 Discovering 68 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,034 Reggae and ultimate frisbee. 69 00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:50,702 He did it later than the other kids 70 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,104 But we never pushed him. No. 71 00:02:52,106 --> 00:02:53,772 We knew he'd get there. 72 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,307 You haven't moved in yet, have you? 73 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,608 Good. 74 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,043 You guys have to take this quiz. 75 00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,478 I found it in a magazine. 76 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:02,214 It's called the "are you ready to move in together?" quiz. 77 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:03,315 Well, if it's anything like you're 78 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:05,617 "are you wearing panties" quiz, I'm out. 79 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,120 Question one, 80 00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:11,156 Ted, "do you want to move in with robin?" 81 00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,124 Mm. Yes. 82 00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:13,458 Oh, you got the first one wrong. 83 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,460 The answer is "no", 84 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,196 "you secretly want to be single 85 00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,164 And hang out with your awesome friend barney." 86 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,200 Question two, robin. 87 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:24,269 "Do you think you can score a hotter guy than ted?" 88 00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:28,273 Correct. The answer was awkward silence. 89 00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,577 Question three, 90 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:34,213 "did I just make up this quiz to prove a point?" 91 00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,380 Yes. 92 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:36,481 Yes, I did. 93 00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:38,483 Really? You mean 94 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:41,353 It's not from old yellow legal pad magazine? 95 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,690 So? We all agree? 96 00:03:44,692 --> 00:03:46,491 We move ted's stuff back up here? 97 00:03:46,493 --> 00:03:48,193 Mm... No. We're still moving in together. 98 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,361 Why? 99 00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,562 This is crazy. 100 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,663 Ted you're throwing your life away. 101 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:53,332 This girl is blinding you. 102 00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,834 With her shiny hair and her boobed shaped boobs. 103 00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,704 This is bad for you, too, you know. 104 00:03:58,706 --> 00:04:00,105 How are you going to feel 105 00:04:00,107 --> 00:04:01,773 When he sees you without any makeup? 106 00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,243 I'm not wearing makeup right now. 107 00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:06,678 Holy crap, you're beautiful. 108 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,781 All right then, how will you feel 109 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,750 When you can't sneak the occasional cigarette? 110 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:13,919 Oh, come on, robin doesn't smoke. 111 00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:16,855 Wait, do you? Of course not. 112 00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,423 Why? 113 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,692 Don't tell me how to live my life! 114 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,861 Ted, I can't let you do this. 115 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:23,795 Come on. 116 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,397 This is happening. 117 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,599 So instead of fighting it why, why don't you just help? 118 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,735 You want me to help you? 119 00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,536 Yeah. 120 00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:33,472 Okay, ted. 121 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,774 I'll help you. 122 00:04:37,377 --> 00:04:39,544 Can't believe we actually got him to take a box down. 123 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:40,646 Mm. Maybe he's 124 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:41,580 Finally getting on board. 125 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:44,383 Where's the truck? 126 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,152 Where's barney? 127 00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,820 Wait for it. 128 00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:51,256 I can't believe this! 129 00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:52,658 Everything I own in the world is in there. 130 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,761 Except for this box of pot lids. 131 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,396 And the sword. 132 00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:59,164 I'm going to kill him. 133 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:01,600 I swear to god I'm going to kill him! 134 00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,402 Right. Maybe I'll just hold on to that. 135 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,570 For now. 136 00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:12,511 Marshall, we live alone. 137 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,747 This is so great! 138 00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,516 We can finally do all the things 139 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,751 We always said we wanted to do if we lived alone. 140 00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:22,654 Oh, I know what I want to start with. 141 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,262 So, here we are, right? 142 00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:32,931 Sitting around the apartment naked. 143 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,934 Awesome. Yep. 144 00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,940 It's not as awesome as I thought it would be. 145 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,809 My butt itches. 146 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:45,944 I'm cold. I noticed. 147 00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,949 Yeah, like you're one to talk, pointy. 148 00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,786 Barney, I don't know if you got my other 47 messages, 149 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,521 But if my stuff isn't here within the hour 150 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:57,789 I'm calling the cops. 151 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,958 This is the last time I'm calling you. 152 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,361 Because my charger's in the back of the truck. 153 00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,363 Don't worry, it's barney. 154 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:05,397 He'll bring the stuff back. 155 00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:06,865 No, it's just... 156 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:07,899 I was really looking forward 157 00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,334 To settling in, you know? 158 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:10,469 Maybe setting up my tv. 159 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,371 Watching a movie in bed. 160 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,307 What? 161 00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,642 Do we really want a tv in the bedroom? 162 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,911 I thought we did. 163 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,646 I'm not sure that we do. 164 00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,749 Well, where else would we put my tv? 165 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,984 We could just put it in our storage unit 166 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,319 In the basement. 167 00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:29,654 But wouldn't we miss my tv? 168 00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:30,822 Would we? 169 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,824 Yes, we would. 170 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,726 We've had that tv for a long time 171 00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,528 And we would feel more at home 172 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,830 If it were setup in our bedroom. 173 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,667 We need wine, don't we? 174 00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:45,036 Yes, we do. 175 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,677 Should we, um, move this to the bedroom? 176 00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,546 Why? 177 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:56,348 Ted doesn't live here anymore. 178 00:06:56,350 --> 00:06:58,417 We can do it wherever we want. 179 00:06:58,419 --> 00:07:00,519 You know what else? Hmm? 180 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:02,687 We don't have to be quiet anymore. 181 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:05,424 We can be as loud as we want. 182 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,428 Okay, I think we need 183 00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:11,463 To lay down some ground rules. 184 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:15,367 Just because we can be loud doesn't mean we have to be loud. 185 00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:17,869 And although it might turn you on, 186 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:20,939 You screaming, "I'm the best," doesn't do much for me. 187 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,874 Well, it's a lot better than yelling, 188 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,977 "ted's not here," over and over again. 189 00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:28,880 Well, at least what I said is true. 190 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,617 Well, that was unnecessary. 191 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,321 Well, since I only have one box 192 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:38,390 I figure I might as well unpack it. 193 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:39,724 Mm, where do you think we should put it? 194 00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:40,759 Well, unless you have a separate pot lid room, 195 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:41,726 I was thinking the cupboard. 196 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:44,763 What? 197 00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:47,098 Uh, the thing is my kitchen is kind of small. 198 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:49,734 And, um, I already have a bunch of pot lids 199 00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:52,637 And mine come with pots, so... 200 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,773 You're saying there's no way to make room 201 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,742 For the single box of stuff I try to move into our place? 202 00:07:57,744 --> 00:07:59,744 Well, why don't you just take it down to the... 203 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:01,413 Do not say storage space. 204 00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:03,815 I was going to say dumpster. 205 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,017 Damn it, robin, this is all I have left 206 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,420 In the world... eight pot lids and a sword. 207 00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,489 Yeah, about the sword. 208 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:15,927 Hello. 209 00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:17,629 Put on the suit, mr. Mosby. 210 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,364 Barney, I know it's you. 211 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:20,499 Where's my stuff? 212 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:21,633 It's not me. 213 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,034 If you want to see 214 00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:25,370 Your precious possessions again, put on the suit. 215 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:27,105 What suit? Ding-dong. 216 00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:29,441 Oh, what's that? The doorbell. 217 00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:32,944 That's the suit I'm talking about. 218 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,045 I haven't gotten to the door yet. 219 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,047 Oh, okay, let me know when you get there. 220 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,650 Okay, I opened it. 221 00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,018 And there's a suit there. 222 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,953 That's the suit I'm talking about. 223 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,955 Barney... This isn't barney. 224 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,790 But I hear that guy's awesome. 225 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,392 All right. 226 00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:49,127 Listen very carefully. 227 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,662 You will get your stuff back 228 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:53,064 If you are able to complete a series of challenges. 229 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,066 Number one, 230 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:55,800 Put on the suit. 231 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,837 Number two, meet me at mcclaren's in an hour. 232 00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,740 How will I know who to look for since we've never met? 233 00:09:04,810 --> 00:09:07,045 I look like barney. 234 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:15,754 Oh, hey, ted. 235 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,822 Suit and sneakers. 236 00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:20,091 A little ellen degeneres but you pull it off. 237 00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,826 I don't have any other shoes 238 00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:22,994 Because you stole them along 239 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,663 With everything else I own in the world. 240 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,697 Where's the truck, barney? 241 00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:27,098 Barney. 242 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,768 People's whose trucks I'm not holding for ransom 243 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,002 Call me barney. 244 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,838 I think you should call me the commodore. 245 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,840 I'm not calling you... 246 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,176 Then you're not getting your stuff back. 247 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,712 Can I please have my stuff back... 248 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,447 The commodore? 249 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,682 No. 250 00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:45,116 Here's the deal, 251 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,751 Ted, you're my bro. 252 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,687 And you're about to become a henpecked, 253 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,055 Beaten down, shell of a man. 254 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:51,189 So tonight, 255 00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,691 We are going to have 256 00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:55,760 One last awesome night together as bros. 257 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,163 It's a bro-ing away party. 258 00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,198 A special bro-casion. 259 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,033 A bro-choice rally. 260 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:04,202 Bro-time at the apollo. 261 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,237 Oh, bro me. 262 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,473 Well, so what do I have to do? 263 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,742 No, it's not what you have to do, 264 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,778 It's what you want to do, and you want to have a good time 265 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,947 Before you go take fun ted out back and shoot him. 266 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,148 So... 267 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,951 First thing on the docket... 268 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,920 Get me that girl's number. Absolutely not. 269 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,221 Mm. That's too bad. 270 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,789 Hey, hypothetical question: 271 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,158 If I was all your stuff, would I rather be 272 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,128 At the bottom of the east river or the hudson? 273 00:10:33,799 --> 00:10:35,734 Hey, look, world's strongest man is on. 274 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,736 Ooh, it's the one 275 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:39,004 Where lou ferrigno pulls the bus 276 00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,772 From the partridge family with his teeth. 277 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,007 It's the best one. 278 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,742 Hey, ted, get in... 279 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:49,814 We live alone. 280 00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,336 Yay. 281 00:10:53,085 --> 00:10:54,919 Well, I win. 282 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,921 You need to give my friend your phone number. 283 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,690 Wow, I really 284 00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,859 Didn't think lou ferrigno could pull that bus. 285 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:02,127 Are you sure this is live? 286 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,862 It looks pretty old. 287 00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,197 Yeah, that's 'cause the, uh, tv is old. 288 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,667 Oh. Oh. 289 00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:10,935 So, I'll, uh, call you tomorrow? 290 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,872 Yeah. Um, not too early. I have church. 291 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,977 You were impressive, buddy. 292 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,112 Nice work. All right, next challenge. 293 00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,213 No. No next challenge. 294 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:23,948 Look, this is my first night living with robin. 295 00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,190 She's probably pissed I'm spending it out with you. 296 00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:31,623 This might be our last hurrah, my little friend. 297 00:11:32,558 --> 00:11:34,325 Marshall, I am gonna cook you 298 00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:36,294 The best dinner of your life. 299 00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,863 How would you like a... 300 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:44,969 One-egg omelet with some ketchup and film? 301 00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,839 Guess ted's the one who did the shopping. 302 00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:50,775 Ooh, look, a microwave pizza! 303 00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:55,980 Guess the microwave was ted's, too. 304 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,716 Yeah. 305 00:11:57,718 --> 00:11:59,084 So were all the towels. 306 00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:01,352 Turns out that everything that was useful 307 00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:02,654 In this apartment was ted's. 308 00:12:02,656 --> 00:12:03,988 Everything that was 309 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:07,659 A foghat poster we bought ironically in college was mine. 310 00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:09,260 Marshall. 311 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:10,729 Yeah, baby? 312 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,731 I miss ted. 313 00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:14,999 Is it too soon to call him? 314 00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,601 No, we shouldn't. 315 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,871 I don't want to interrupt his first night living with robin. 316 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:22,607 Ha, nice shooting. 317 00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:24,209 You know, if we win this one 318 00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,211 It's free onion rings at the intergalactic snack shack. 319 00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:27,378 Oh, what a bargain. 320 00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:29,280 We only had to spend 20 bucks a game. 321 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,915 Admit it, you're having fun. 322 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,183 Ah, maybe. 323 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,385 I mean, it was pretty funny when that little girl 324 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,887 Fell over that space barrel. 325 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,057 Nice... 326 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:40,792 We win. 327 00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,694 Oh, walk of shame, 328 00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:44,963 Walk of game... what up? 329 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,731 Okay. Let's go one more. 330 00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,067 I don't know. You know you want to. 331 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,369 All right, let's do it... I just got to call robin real quick. 332 00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:54,973 Oh, so that's what it's gonna be like from now on? 333 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,375 No. Okay, okay. You call your old lady 334 00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,244 And ask permission to have fun. 335 00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:00,979 Me, I will be at the snack shack 336 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:03,848 Eating our victory onion rings han style. 337 00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:06,217 Solo. 338 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,390 Hey, ted. 339 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,992 Hey, sweetie listen, I'm really sorry 340 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,894 But I'm gonna be pretty late, so don't wait up. 341 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,929 Oh, it's totally fine. You do what you got to do. 342 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:20,665 Thanks. You're the best. I love you. 343 00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,434 I love you, too. Bye. 344 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,770 Hey, sorry about that. Thanks for holding. 345 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,740 Um, so if you could go ahead and cancel my subscription 346 00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:31,009 To guns and ammo, that would be great. 347 00:13:31,011 --> 00:13:33,845 No, it's a great magazine. Really great. 348 00:13:33,847 --> 00:13:35,747 They've printed three of my letters. 349 00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,348 It's just that my boyfriend is moving in 350 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,884 And he kind of doesn't approve of the whole gun thing. 351 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,688 A free hand grenade phone? 352 00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,356 You know what? 353 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,926 Let me give you my work address. 354 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,262 I did it, baby! 355 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,831 I got beer. 356 00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,098 I got food. 357 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,100 We don't need ted anymore. 358 00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,369 I am the provider of this apartment now, 359 00:13:58,371 --> 00:13:59,838 And I have provided! 360 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:02,040 "Provode"? Provided. 361 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,275 Anyway, I got us everything we need. 362 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,845 Could you toss me the toilet paper? 363 00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:13,017 Be right back, baby. Sit tight. 364 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,888 Hey, I got to admit, um... 365 00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,723 I didn't think I would, but, uh... 366 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,645 I had a really good time tonight. 367 00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:22,894 You're a good friend, barney. 368 00:14:26,498 --> 00:14:28,499 Hey, man, why don't you, uh... 369 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,541 Why don't you tell me where my truck is. 370 00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:32,871 No, I don't think so. 371 00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,372 Where's my truck?! 372 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,374 Do you know why 373 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,877 I haven't given you any of your possessions back yet? 374 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:42,413 Uh, because you're admiral jerk of the british royal douchery? 375 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:45,149 Because you don't want them back. 376 00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,985 Oh. You could've left at any time tonight 377 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,853 But you didn't, ted. Why is that? 378 00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:51,155 Because I didn't want to go back to robin's without my stuff. 379 00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,424 False. You know what I think? 380 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,326 I think you spent one day with her 381 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,895 And it already sucked. 382 00:14:56,897 --> 00:14:58,363 I think you didn't like being there, 383 00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,764 She didn't like having you there 384 00:14:59,766 --> 00:15:01,032 And you both realized 385 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:02,367 That you made a huge mistake. 386 00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:03,902 And that's why 387 00:15:03,904 --> 00:15:05,436 You spent your first night living with robin 388 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,405 Out playing laser tag with me. 389 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,774 And that's why three seconds ago 390 00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:11,276 You didn't call it "my place" 391 00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,344 Or "our place" or "home," 392 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,179 You called it "robin's." 393 00:15:18,117 --> 00:15:19,384 You know what? 394 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:20,985 You can keep my stuff. 395 00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,557 Hey. Hey, did you get the truck back? 396 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:29,394 No. Why not? What happened? 397 00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:32,063 Oh, he pissed me off so much, I left. 398 00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,531 Anyway, 399 00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,233 I just wanted to come back here, space out 400 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,902 And watch a movie. 401 00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:39,570 Do you anything that wasn't made by john woo? 402 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:42,040 Why, do you? 403 00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:44,475 You know, forget the movie. 404 00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,144 I just want to sit. 405 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,215 What? 406 00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:53,584 It's just I eat at that table. 407 00:15:53,586 --> 00:15:56,921 Fine, I'll take my shoes off. 408 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:58,256 You know, why don't you just throw me down 409 00:15:58,258 --> 00:15:59,457 In the storage space where you have room for me. 410 00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:01,426 Ted, come on. No, you come on. 411 00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,962 I had to jump through hoops all night for barney 412 00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:06,064 And then it took me an hour to get home 413 00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:07,966 Because his place is so far away from the bar. 414 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,567 Oh, my god. What? 415 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:12,537 I know where barney put my truck. 416 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:16,274 Mm. 417 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:17,976 Let's go back to my place. 418 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,179 I bet you my place is closer. 419 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,415 Here we are. 420 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,284 You live in the loading dock 421 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:27,986 Behind the bar? 422 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,355 I don't live here, baby. This is just my ride. 423 00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:35,526 No, no, no, no. I'm not getting into any van, 424 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,928 I've seen silence of the lambs. 425 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,140 Oh, my god. 426 00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,342 We're drinking champagne in the back of a moving van. 427 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,378 Why, yes, sara. Yes, we are. 428 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:55,113 Those other rockettes 429 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,582 Who called you slow are crazy. 430 00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,295 Oh, my god. I knew it. 431 00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,031 You're kidnapping me. Help! 432 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,132 No, no, no, no. Help! 433 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:15,633 I can explain. 434 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,040 Hello? 435 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,575 Enjoying the ride? 436 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:26,144 Ted? Ted, you let us out of here. 437 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,512 You let us out of here this instant! 438 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,313 This isn't ted. 439 00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,249 But I hear that guy's awesome. 440 00:17:37,322 --> 00:17:39,057 So I took sara home 441 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,159 And I took barney to a bar near his apartment. 442 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,194 Apparently, that strategy had never occurred to him. 443 00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:46,931 That poor girl must've been so confused. Yeah. 444 00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:48,599 Well, at least barney learned a valuable lesson. 445 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:51,761 You do not want to get scissor kicked in the groin by a rockette. 446 00:17:57,042 --> 00:17:59,210 So, uh, I guess we should get you unpacked. 447 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:00,511 Yeah. 448 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,747 Yeah, I guess we should. 449 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:07,118 Lily... 450 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,519 Deep within the amazonian rainforest, 451 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,421 There is a type of tree that only grows 452 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,957 Around the body of an existing tree. 453 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,626 It cannot survive without this tree. 454 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:20,598 It is supported... By this tree. 455 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,700 Lily, we are that tree. 456 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,635 The inside tree or the outside tree? 457 00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,570 The outside tree. 458 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,205 Shouldn't there be three trees? 459 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,040 You and I are one tree. Okay, look, lily, 460 00:18:29,042 --> 00:18:31,542 The point is that we grew around ted 461 00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,078 And without him, we're slowly dying. 462 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:36,614 What do we do? 463 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:40,551 I think we can marry each other. 464 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:44,422 But we also have to marry ted. 465 00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:47,058 I'll tell you right now, my dad 466 00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,980 Is not gonna pay for that wedding. 467 00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,230 Ted! What are you doing here? 468 00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,399 Robin and I aren't gonna move in together after all. 469 00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:57,301 What happened? 470 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:02,073 I thought we decided we were ready? I know. 471 00:19:02,075 --> 00:19:03,774 How did we come to that again? 472 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,309 I don't remember. 473 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,345 We were fighting? 474 00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:09,413 It's all so blurry. Yeah. 475 00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:11,282 The "let's move in together" sex 476 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,151 Was pretty amazing. I know. 477 00:19:13,153 --> 00:19:14,418 I did that thing with no hands 478 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,340 I normally need both to do. Mm-hmm. 479 00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:20,191 You know... 480 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:21,592 I'm really happy with you. 481 00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:24,328 I really happy with you. The way things are. 482 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,430 Yeah. Maybe we shouldn't mess with that. 483 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,666 I don't know that we should. 484 00:19:31,436 --> 00:19:33,704 Hey... 485 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,040 I hear the "let's not move in together" sex 486 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,708 Is pretty incredible. 487 00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:40,178 Let's go back to my place. 488 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,512 Mm... 489 00:19:52,157 --> 00:19:53,624 Thank you. You're welcome. 490 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,693 No, thank you. You'll be very happy. 491 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,464 Uh, look, I-I know you guys are really excited 492 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,300 About having the place to yourself. 493 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,202 Until after the wedding, I mean, if it's not 494 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:05,536 Too much of an imposition... 495 00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:12,476 Um... God, this feels so right. 496 00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:15,413 Mm... Never leave us again. 497 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:20,484 Guys, robin's down in the truck and there's actually 498 00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:21,752 A lot of boxes, so maybe we should... 499 00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,554 Shh... 500 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,760 Do we have time for this? 501 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,229 Ladies and gentlemen, 502 00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,497 I have in my hand a copy of tonight's top ten list. 503 00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:36,500 The category: Top ten things I would've called my truck... 504 00:20:36,502 --> 00:20:37,502 It was never your truck. 505 00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:38,769 If ted hadn't been a jerk 506 00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,338 And given it back. 507 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:41,340 It was a rental. 508 00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:42,341 Number ten, 509 00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,841 "the winne-bango." 510 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,164 Number nine, "the pick-up truck." 511 00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:50,414 Number eight, "the ford explore her." 512 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:54,585 Number seven, "the you scream truck." 513 00:20:55,621 --> 00:20:57,355 You scream. 514 00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,892 Number six, "feels on wheels." hello! 515 00:21:01,894 --> 00:21:04,595 Number five, "the ride her truck." 516 00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:07,698 Number four, "the 18-squeeler." 517 00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:11,469 Number three, "the esca-laid." 518 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:17,408 Number two, "the slam-boney." 519 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,743 And... 520 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:20,544 The number one thing I would've called my truck 521 00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:22,647 If ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... 522 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,316 "the '69 chevy." 523 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,555 Sorry.