1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:03,435
Ted: In the weeks leading up to aunt
lily and uncle marshall's wedding,

2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:05,337
Some weird stuff
started happening.

3
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,939
Why does my stomach hurt?

4
00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:10,776
I'm sorry, baby. I ate a bunch
of ice cream earlier today.

5
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,312
Oh, baby, you know
we're lactose-intolerant.

6
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,180
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

7
00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:16,382
Are you suggesting that

8
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,884
When one of you feels something,
the other feels it, too?

9
00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,386
Barney: Oh, god,

10
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:21,954
You guys are so codependent.

11
00:00:21,956 --> 00:00:23,622
No, we're not.

12
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:24,624
Oh, really?

13
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,657
What about the other day?

14
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,793
Oh, I need to get some eggs.

15
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,895
Oh, I'll come with you.

16
00:00:37,404 --> 00:00:39,405
Just because we like
spending time together

17
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,839
Doesn't mean we're codependent.

18
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,307
Really?

19
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:44,309
Then whatever happened
to your plan of spending

20
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:46,678
The last two weeks before
your wedding sleeping apart?

21
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,248
Okay, we decided

22
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:52,151
Not to do that because of...

23
00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:53,218
Logistics.

24
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,220
Wedding logistics.

25
00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,320
Frickin' logistics, man.

26
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:56,755
They mess everything up.

27
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,657
You didn't do it
because you couldn't do it.

28
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,159
Sure we could.

29
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,093
Then why don't you?

30
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,655
You can stay with me.

31
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:08,734
It would make our wedding
night more special.

32
00:01:08,736 --> 00:01:10,502
Okay, let's do it.

33
00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:11,504
Done.

34
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:12,738
I'm gonna go grab a beer.

35
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,473
I'll come with you.

36
00:01:15,708 --> 00:01:18,844
No. I'll stay.

37
00:01:18,868 --> 00:01:24,868
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com

38
00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,062
Okay, I know. You know
what? I got to go.

39
00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,097
Good-bye.

40
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,231
My mom's driving me cra...

41
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,899
God, you guys are

42
00:01:40,901 --> 00:01:41,867
Covered in sauce.

43
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:42,935
We'll get to that. Me first.

44
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:45,938
My mom is driving me crazy
about the wedding music.

45
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:46,805
The woman takes

46
00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:48,474
One cruise to jamaica,

47
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:51,643
And suddenly, it's "not a party
without steel drums."

48
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,812
Doesn't everybody know you're
not supposed to stress out

49
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,734
A bride right
before her wedding?!

50
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,784
Okay, sauce, go.

51
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,486
Long story.

52
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,954
I'll tell you later. Yeah.

53
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,255
It's a dirty story, isn't it?

54
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,923
You guys went out to dinner,

55
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,259
Did it in the kitchen
and got caught.

56
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:10,129
Scherbatsky reeks of someone
who likes to get caught.

57
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:13,065
Okay, now I have to wash up
for two reasons.

58
00:02:15,635 --> 00:02:16,635
Oh, you didn't. Uh-huh.

59
00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:17,736
That's right.

60
00:02:19,439 --> 00:02:22,307
So you and lily really think
you can spend two weeks apart?

61
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,942
You know what, barney?

62
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:26,512
Lily and I are a lot less cheesy
than you make us out to be.

63
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:29,948
Marshmallow, don't forget
to pack my night-night tape.

64
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:30,950
Oh!

65
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:31,951
Night-night tape?

66
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,919
Did you make a tape

67
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:36,755
Of you saying
"night-night" to her?

68
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,423
No.

69
00:02:38,425 --> 00:02:39,958
He doesn't say it. He sings it.

70
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,961
Oh, that is so sweet.

71
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,029
Why don't you kiss?

72
00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,831
I love it
when two chicks make out.

73
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,833
Damn it.

74
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,669
Nobody's bought us anything
cool yet off our registry.

75
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,770
What's on there?

76
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:52,971
Ooh, lots of stuff.

77
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:56,542
Kitchen aide artisan series
tilt-head stand mixer...

78
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,876
Retail price:

79
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,878
$319.99. What else?

80
00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:04,683
Um, the dyson dc17
animal vacuum.

81
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,352
Ah, $549.99.

82
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,274
A little greedy,
don't you think?

83
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:11,957
Did you memorize our registry?

84
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,959
No, I'm training.

85
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:15,827
Training? For what?

86
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:16,829
I'm glad you asked.

87
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,964
Ted, robin, get in here!

88
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,499
You guys know how

89
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,468
It's hard to be friends with me
'cause I'm so awesome?

90
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,836
Yes, it's hard to be
friends with you.

91
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,305
Go on.

92
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:29,141
Well, this isn't going
to make it any easier.

93
00:03:29,143 --> 00:03:31,810
I am going to be on...

94
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:33,745
The price is right.

95
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:34,846
No way! What?!

96
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,081
Yes, in a couple days,

97
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,684
Rich fields is going
to call out my name,

98
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:40,219
And I will come on down.

99
00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:41,753
Oh...

100
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:42,755
Whoa, that is so awesome.

101
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:43,822
Barney, I didn't know you were

102
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:44,856
Such a fan of
the price is right.

103
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,992
Are you kidding?

104
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,827
T.P.I.R. Is not just

105
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,563
An indescribably entertaining
hour of television,

106
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,731
It's a microcosm

107
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,567
Of our entire economic system...

108
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,404
A capitalist utopia,
where consumers are rewarded

109
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,840
For their persistence,
market acumen

110
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:04,076
And intrepid spirit.

111
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:08,080
I gaze upon the glory
of the price is right,

112
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:11,783
And I see the face of america.

113
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,786
And it is divine.

114
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,089
Plus, you know,
hot chicks on sports cars.

115
00:04:18,958 --> 00:04:20,926
Ted:
Then lily headed out to robin's

116
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,694
For her first night
away from marshall.

117
00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:23,862
Lily: I'm ready!

118
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:32,738
Wow, lily, you look
so beautiful.

119
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,740
I know! I'm beautiful!

120
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:36,842
I'm a fairy princess!

121
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,346
I'm too skinny for my dress!

122
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,550
Ted: Meanwhile, I was testing out
my best man toast on marshall.

123
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:46,652
Here goes.

124
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,622
Hello, everyone, I'm ted
mosby, marshall's best man.

125
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,224
Strong opening, right?
That's fantastic.

126
00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:55,394
When marshall graduates
this spring, he'll be a lawyer.

127
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,463
But did you know that marshall
has a criminal record?

128
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:01,833
That's right, on a road trip
up to cape cod,

129
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,636
Marshall was pulled over
for driving by himself

130
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:05,671
In a car pool lane.

131
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:09,074
Oh, crap.

132
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:11,310
Oh, crap.

133
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:12,444
Marshall: Are you crazy?

134
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:15,447
You cannot tell that story
at my wedding.

135
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,481
My entire family's

136
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:17,649
Gonna be there.

137
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,185
My little cousins,
my mom, my grandma,

138
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:21,353
My grandpa the minister.

139
00:05:21,355 --> 00:05:23,355
That grandpa died
three years ago.

140
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,425
His favorite grandson
is getting married, ted.

141
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:27,826
I think he can take a day off

142
00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:29,988
From haunting the barn
to make an appearance.

143
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,031
Whoo!

144
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,467
Whoo-whoo!

145
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:36,535
Whoo!

146
00:05:36,537 --> 00:05:38,337
Whoo-hoo-whoo!

147
00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:42,541
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

148
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:46,645
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

149
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:47,746
Oh, yeah!

150
00:05:49,315 --> 00:05:50,482
So which one, "a" or "b"?

151
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:51,550
What was that?

152
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:52,884
I have to decide

153
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,486
How to run to contestant's row

154
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,888
When they say,
"barney stinson, come on down!"

155
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,223
Oh, oh, I didn't realize
that's what it was.

156
00:05:58,225 --> 00:05:59,225
Can you do them again?

157
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,059
Yeah, of course.

158
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,864
Barney: Ow!

159
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,132
Hey!

160
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,500
Very funny.

161
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,136
Just for that,
when I win all the prizes.

162
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,504
The only thing
you guys are getting

163
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:14,439
Is rice-a-roni and turtle wax.

164
00:06:16,142 --> 00:06:19,511
It's $300 just to take
the bust in?

165
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:22,547
Oh, please, you have to have
some sympathy for me.

166
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,549
I'm getting married
next Saturday,

167
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,518
And I'm too skinny for my dress.

168
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,488
I lost all this weight
without even trying.

169
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,556
Hello? Hello?

170
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,591
What happened?

171
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,513
She called me a bitch
and hung up.

172
00:06:35,161 --> 00:06:36,561
Oh, I don't know what to do.

173
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,196
I guess I'll just
have to pay the $300.

174
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,498
Pay the $300?

175
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,665
Lily, are you crazy?

176
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,367
This isn't a problem.

177
00:06:42,369 --> 00:06:43,735
It's a license to eat.

178
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,370
Look, what have you always

179
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,538
Wanted to eat but didn't

180
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,507
Because it was
too ridiculously decadent?

181
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,942
Ooh, a valrhona
chocolate soufflé

182
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,378
With a raspberry brandy sauce,

183
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:57,582
Topped with caramelized bananas
and hazelnut gelato.

184
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:00,585
I have cool whip
and half a bag of fritos.

185
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:01,587
Done!

186
00:07:03,556 --> 00:07:06,625
Okay, think you're gonna be
happy with my new toast.

187
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:08,527
There's nothing sexual.

188
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,694
It's, uh, it's just the story

189
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:11,563
Of an important moment
in your relationship.

190
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:15,467
Hello, everyone, I'm ted mosby,
marshall's best man.

191
00:07:15,469 --> 00:07:16,201
Nice.

192
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,569
Right? That's great.

193
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,304
Back when we were all freshman
and marshall and lily

194
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,640
Were just a few short weeks
into their relationship...

195
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:23,542
It was 4:00 in the morning,

196
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,644
And I'm not gonna lie,
we were a wee bit wasted.

197
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:32,217
So I'd gone out to get us some
snacks, and when I got back...

198
00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:37,055
I... Love you.

199
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,924
I love you, too.

200
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,125
I know it's soon

201
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,159
To say it,

202
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:43,662
But I'm so glad you did.

203
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:44,729
Oh.

204
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:45,831
Lily: Mm...

205
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,365
Yeah.

206
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,502
So here's what you
want to talk about

207
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,671
In front of my entire family:

208
00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:56,241
Drinking, having a girl
in my room, eating junk food.

209
00:07:56,243 --> 00:07:57,642
Dude, you're almost 30.

210
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,344
Your mom would be mad at you
for eating junk food?

211
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:02,347
Yeah, ted, 'cause nutrition's
not important.

212
00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:04,983
Also, lily's never
heard that story before.

213
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,852
How's she going to react
when she finds out

214
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,087
The first time I said
"I love you" to her,

215
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,656
I was actually saying it to you
and a bag of funyuns?

216
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,525
But who cares? You did love her.

217
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:14,626
And you still do.

218
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:17,095
And you're totally over funyuns,
so it's not weird.

219
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,332
Hey, lil.

220
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:21,500
Hey.

221
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:22,534
Hey?

222
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:23,536
That's it?

223
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:26,204
What are you talking about?

224
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,506
Well, you guys
have been spending

225
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:30,509
I figured there'd be
a lot of giggling, crying,

226
00:08:30,511 --> 00:08:33,345
Jumping up and down, and then
whatever lily would do.

227
00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:37,516
About the bar menu at
mcclaren's is that there were

228
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,552
No fewer than 11 different
deep-fried appetizers.

229
00:08:40,554 --> 00:08:41,453
That night,

230
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:43,421
Aunt lily ordered all of them.

231
00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:47,517
Barney: Check it out.

232
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:50,662
Okay, imagine...
Imagine, if you will,

233
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:53,565
That this is the $1 space

234
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,966
On the price is right wheel.

235
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:56,968
Ready?

236
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,545
Oh, wow, that was pretty close.

237
00:09:06,547 --> 00:09:09,080
Close? Close?!

238
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,150
It's called the price is right,
not the price is close!

239
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,718
Oh, man, this is bad.

240
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:14,753
If I don't win

241
00:09:14,755 --> 00:09:16,087
The spin-off, and I can't get

242
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,522
Into the showcase showdown;
everything's ruined!

243
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,024
It's all ruined!

244
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:19,891
What is ruined?

245
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,493
Why, why is this
such a big deal?

246
00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:24,262
Okay, guys...

247
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:26,731
Sit down. I've got
to tell you something.

248
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:32,070
The reason I'm going
on the price is right

249
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,371
Is because I've decided

250
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,841
That it's time for me
to meet my real father.

251
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:38,209
Your father?

252
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:41,112
That's right.

253
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,515
My father...

254
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:45,517
Is bob barker.

255
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,192
Your dad...

256
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,594
Is bob barker?

257
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:57,028
That's right.

258
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,863
The host of the price is right,
bob barker?

259
00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,932
That's pops.

260
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:01,600
Barney?

261
00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:02,901
Yes, robin?

262
00:10:02,903 --> 00:10:04,069
Why in the world do you think

263
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,637
Bob barker is your father?

264
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,640
Uh, because my mother
told me he was,

265
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,808
That's why.

266
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,310
Mom, who's my dad?

267
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:15,413
All the other kids at school
know who their dad is.

268
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:16,548
Who's mine?

269
00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:19,284
Oh, I don't know.

270
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,819
That guy.

271
00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:26,491
Look, dad, I got straight a's!

272
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:28,827
Hey, dad,

273
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,930
Guess who I'm going as
for Halloween?

274
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,498
Want to play some catch, pop?

275
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:40,839
So now I'm gonna go to l.A.,
be on the show,

276
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,641
Win the showcase showdown,

277
00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,342
Make him proud of me,

278
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,744
And then tell him who I am.

279
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,346
You're gonna tell bob barker

280
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,515
That you're his son
on national television?

281
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:53,652
Why is this so hard
for you people to believe?

282
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,587
Drop the popper!

283
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:56,988
Lily has to gain

284
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,523
Five pounds in a
week and a half,

285
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,425
And it is my job to
help her get there.

286
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:04,029
This is the best
wedding diet ever.

287
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:06,297
I lost a pound.

288
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,599
That is impossible.

289
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,300
You ate mcdonald's every meal
for three days.

290
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,870
I knew that super size me guy
was full of it.

291
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,505
Well, it must be
the wedding stress.

292
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,040
We just got to up the intake.

293
00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:18,176
Lily aldrin, drop and give me
20 bites of fudge!

294
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:19,377
Okay.

295
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,179
Okay?

296
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,480
Don't nibble at it. Attack it!

297
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,282
Come on, lily.

298
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:25,283
You can do better than that!

299
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:26,384
I can't.

300
00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:27,318
Well, eat faster,

301
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,054
Before your body
figures out it's full.

302
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:30,722
I'm trying.

303
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:31,956
Oh, are you gonna cry?

304
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,291
You gonna cry?

305
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:34,292
Skinny little baby's gonna cry?

306
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:36,294
Well, eat, damn it, eat!

307
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:38,563
Okay!

308
00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,868
Hey, so I think I figured out

309
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:45,170
How to do your toast

310
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,638
In a completely appropriate way.
Finally.

311
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:47,839
Huh. Yeah.

312
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,543
Good evening. I'm ted mosby,
marshall's best man.

313
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,344
Still strong, right?
Great, yeah.

314
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,547
I'd like to share
with you all a story

315
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,082
About the momentous evening
last fall

316
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,517
When marshall and lily
got back together.

317
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:03,254
Afterward, we stayed up
till 10:00 at night,

318
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:05,724
Doing shots of chocolate milk.

319
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:08,159
Man, I'm well nourished
right now!

320
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:11,029
Calcium promotes healthy teeth
and bones.

321
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,097
Thanks, marshall,

322
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,698
For teaching us
you don't need alcohol

323
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,033
To have fun.

324
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,267
Oh, don't thank me.

325
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,503
Thank my parents for
teaching me good values.

326
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:20,004
Aww.

327
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:21,706
Now, I wasn't supposed
to hear this next part,

328
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:24,042
But marshall leaned over
to lily and whispered.

329
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:26,745
You know what I'd like
to do to you right now?

330
00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:29,881
I'd like to hold your hand.

331
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,951
I'd like to hold
your hand so hard

332
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,287
That you're not able to
shake hands for a week.

333
00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:37,555
Oh.

334
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,958
Are you just going to talk
about holding my hand

335
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,393
Or are you going to hold it?

336
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:47,465
Then a little later,
robin caught them...

337
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,633
Oh, um...

338
00:12:48,635 --> 00:12:51,703
Holding hands.

339
00:12:51,705 --> 00:12:54,439
It was a lovely
and responsible night.

340
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,509
To marshall and lily.

341
00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,712
That's the worst toast
I've ever heard, dude.

342
00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:01,913
It's totally boring.

343
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:03,548
Exactly.

344
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:04,983
It's impossible
to write a good toast

345
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,284
With you censoring me, man.

346
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,385
I give up.

347
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,053
I'm just going
to read that thing

348
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:10,321
About Jesus and the footprints.

349
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,656
I give up, too.

350
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,925
I don't care
if my dress doesn't fit.

351
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,260
I can't eat anymore.

352
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,562
I-I feel like my stomach's
going to explode.

353
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:18,997
I know.

354
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:22,000
And so, lily and I were both
about to give up,

355
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,835
But as you can all see,

356
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,770
Lily does look beautiful
in that dress,

357
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,505
And here I am

358
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,807
Giving a toast.

359
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,442
You know, all this time,

360
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,644
I'd been racking my brain,

361
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,979
Trying to pick out
the perfect moment

362
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,248
To capture lily and marshall
as a couple.

363
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,117
But then I realized

364
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:41,419
The perfect moment wasn't
some needle lost in the haystack

365
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,954
Of their ten years together.

366
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,589
The perfect

367
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:47,992
Lily and marshall moment
happened two nights ago.

368
00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:54,299
Marshall, what are you doing?

369
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,701
Going to the bathroom.

370
00:13:56,703 --> 00:13:57,836
In the hall?

371
00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,604
Sleepwalking?

372
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,339
You're wide awake.

373
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,674
Robbing us?

374
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:03,474
Dude.

375
00:14:03,476 --> 00:14:04,709
Turns out,

376
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:06,277
All week long,

377
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:08,546
He'd been sneaking out
to a hotel on 72nd,

378
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,848
To meet lily.

379
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:12,016
God, I missed you.

380
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,118
I can't sleep without you. Mm.

381
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,055
Hey, baby?

382
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,190
Would you be the big spoon
for a while?

383
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,692
Sure, baby.

384
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:27,232
How's the weight gaining going?

385
00:14:27,234 --> 00:14:29,367
Ugh, terribly.

386
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,569
I'm too stressed out
without you around.

387
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,004
Mm.

388
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,106
Well, I'm here now.

389
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,862
Mmm. Mmm!

390
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:41,145
In their experiment
with apartness,

391
00:14:41,147 --> 00:14:43,648
But they succeeded in getting
lily into her dress.

392
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,384
You know, there really are

393
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:48,586
A million things I could tell
you about lily and marshall,

394
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,356
But really, the only thing
you need to know is

395
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:54,525
That ten years
into their relationship,

396
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,929
They still couldn't spend
a single night apart.

397
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:02,000
May they never have to again.

398
00:15:03,068 --> 00:15:04,669
To lily and marshall.

399
00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:06,337
All: To lily and marshall.

400
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:07,939
Now, kids, the story

401
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,741
Of aunt lily and uncle
marshall's wedding

402
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,175
Is a good one.

403
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:12,543
No matter how perfectly
you plan your...

404
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,678
You know what,
wait a second, guys.

405
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,246
I'm going to get to that.

406
00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:17,181
First, I gotta tell you
what happened with barney.

407
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:20,518
Rich, what is the name
of our next participant?

408
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,453
Rich: Bob, it's barney stinson!

409
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,055
Come on down!

410
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,524
You're the next contestant
on the price is right.

411
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:27,759
No! Oh, my god!

412
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,861
Bob barker: Working his way out.

413
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:32,597
High-five here, high-five there.

414
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,198
A big old hug here.

415
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,767
Oh, my god! Yeah, I know,

416
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,368
The camera loves me.

417
00:15:37,370 --> 00:15:39,971
Welcome to contestant's
row, barney.

418
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:40,738
Nice suit.

419
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,073
Thanks, da... Bob.

420
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,541
Here is the next item up

421
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,076
For bid!

422
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:48,746
Rich: Bob, the stylish
his and her watches

423
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,615
Feature an 18-carat gold bezel
and crown

424
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,550
And stainless steel bands.

425
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:55,119
Bob: And barney, what
do you bid on that?

426
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:56,587
Um...

427
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,123
Wrong.

428
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,491
Wrong.

429
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:01,592
Wrong.

430
00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:02,727
Wrong.

431
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:05,797
Retail price is $1,349.99,

432
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,999
So, since you round off,
I'll say $1,350, bob.

433
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,767
$1,350 for barney.

434
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,970
So, was it $1,350?

435
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:12,770
I don't know.

436
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,505
Was it?

437
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,074
Oh, my god!

438
00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:16,908
Happy wedding.

439
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:20,611
Barney, you won that camcorder

440
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:23,581
In just one second!

441
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:24,682
That is impressive.

442
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:26,150
I mean impressive.

443
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,919
Thank you, bob. Now,

444
00:16:27,921 --> 00:16:29,854
To win the computer,

445
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:31,289
You're going to
have to bid again.

446
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:34,258
And again I will say
higher or lower.

447
00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,594
And let's show the
audience the price

448
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,796
Of the computer, and audience,

449
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,431
Please, do not try to help us.

450
00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:43,434
And the clock will start
with your first bid.

451
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,603
$1 billion.

452
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,038
Lower. So, I brought some photos

453
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,706
That I thought
you might like to see.

454
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,141
This is me on my first birthday.

455
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,110
Yes, barney. This is...

456
00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,444
What are you doing?

457
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:56,714
Uh, spending some quality time
with my dad.

458
00:16:57,983 --> 00:17:00,618
That's very nice, but look,
the clock is moving.

459
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:01,986
You have only about 16 seconds.

460
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,554
Right. Keep bidding.

461
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,023
No, no, I want you to see this.
This is great. Keep bidding.

462
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,357
This is me at my graduation.

463
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,526
I know, the hair. That,
no, that's nice.

464
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,794
That's nice. You have only

465
00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:13,631
Five, four, three, two, one...
Right, oh, look.

466
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:14,465
$999.

467
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:15,800
Nine...

468
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:19,070
Barney, you got it
exactly right!

469
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:21,339
Happy wedding again! Oh, my...

470
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,641
Oh, my god!

471
00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,043
I have to be honest, bob.

472
00:17:25,045 --> 00:17:27,378
The big wheel is the only
weak part of my game.

473
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,347
I'm sure you'll do
just fine, son.

474
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,549
Did you just...

475
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,852
I'm ready, bob.

476
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,487
Do it! Do it!

477
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,422
Here we go!

478
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,223
He's looking for the dollar.

479
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,893
It's going 'round, and 'round...

480
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,394
Oh, no, you spun it too hard.

481
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,029
No, he didn't spin it
hard enough.

482
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,497
Here it comes, barney.

483
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,733
It's coming on down.

484
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,234
You've got it!

485
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:51,402
You won...

486
00:17:53,506 --> 00:17:55,740
Beautiful. But barney...

487
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:57,742
Barney, you're not through.

488
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,510
You're not through.

489
00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:01,446
You've won $1,000.

490
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,348
You've won a place
in the showcase.

491
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:06,717
You are doing splendidly so far.

492
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,953
Thank you. Would you, would
you say you're proud of me?

493
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,621
Sure.

494
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,526
That was kind of a weird moment.

495
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:17,795
Very well, barney,

496
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,097
You have seen
the first showcase.

497
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,065
Do you want to bid on it,

498
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,900
Or do you want to
pass it to millie?

499
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:24,969
Please, no car
and an above-ground spa?

500
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:26,404
Pass.

501
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:30,141
Bob: Millie, he has passed
this showcase to you.

502
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,409
What do you bid on it? Uh...

503
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:34,879
$17,640.

504
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:37,381
Bob: $17,640.

505
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:38,583
Barney: Overbid!

506
00:18:38,585 --> 00:18:42,220
Now, let's see showcase ♪2.

507
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,822
Rich: Barney, your showcase
begins with a mystery.

508
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,991
Oh, I love this.

509
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,793
I can't believe how excited
I am right now.

510
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:50,595
Shh! Shh! Shh!

511
00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,430
Barney, you have seen
your showcase.

512
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:53,598
What do you bid on it?

513
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,601
Please, please.

514
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:58,936
Please.

515
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,005
Let me.

516
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:09,313
1-8-4-2-1.

517
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:11,149
I don't even know
what we're going to do

518
00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,817
With a dune buggy,
but I want it!

519
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,285
Yeah. Please.

520
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,787
And the actual retail price

521
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,589
Of your showcase is...

522
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:19,790
$14,628.

523
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:22,493
Bob: $14,628.

524
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,595
Millie, you are over.

525
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:26,130
Too bad.

526
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:31,002
Barney, you bid $18,421
on your showcase.

527
00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:33,304
And the actual retail price

528
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,306
Of barney's showcase is...

529
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:41,212
$18,421, exactly right!

530
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:44,949
You win both showcases, barney.

531
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,817
Oh, my god! Oh, my god.

532
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:51,689
Bob barker, reminding you,

533
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:52,990
Help control the pet...

534
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,125
Bob, bob, excuse me. Yeah.

535
00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:55,293
Before, before you
wrap up the show,

536
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,135
There's just something I
want to say to you. Yes?

537
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,400
Congratulations

538
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,869
On 35 wonderful years
hosting the price is right.

539
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,004
Well, thank you, barney.

540
00:20:07,006 --> 00:20:08,673
Thank you ver... Have your
pets spayed or neutered.

541
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,708
Good-bye, everybody.

542
00:20:13,512 --> 00:20:14,879
Why didn't you tell him?

543
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:18,082
Well, it's just...

544
00:20:19,484 --> 00:20:22,486
If you lived your whole life
thinking one thing,

545
00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:26,357
It would be pretty devastating
to find out that wasn't true.

546
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,994
I just don't think
bob could have handled it.

547
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,862
Bob. Yeah.

548
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:33,397
Probably a good choice.

549
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,699
Yeah, he's really sensitive.

550
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:38,269
Anyway, on the bright side.

551
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:40,371
Happy wedding again!

552
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:42,273
And that's the story

553
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,775
Of how uncle barney gave
marshall and lily a dune buggy

554
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:47,011
For their wedding.

555
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,082
Hey, lily.

556
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,018
Um, I thought since we're going
to be apart for two whole weeks,

557
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,754
I would sing you
your night-night song.

558
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:00,057
Mm.

559
00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:03,094
♪ Night-night, lily

560
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:06,264
♪ night-night, lily ♪

561
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:10,067
♪ It's time to go to bed,
oh, my silly, little lily ♪

562
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,036
♪ Time to rest
your little head ♪

563
00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:14,939
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la

564
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:18,075
♪ sha-la-la-la-la.

565
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:19,777
Come on, ted.

566
00:21:19,779 --> 00:21:21,045
Ted: No, it's weird.

567
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:22,380
You promised.

568
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,618
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la
♪ sha-la-la-la-la

569
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:31,055
♪ sha-la-la-la-la
♪ sha-la-la-la-la

570
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:33,157
♪ sha-la-la-la-la.
♪ Sha-la-la-la-la.