1 00:00:01,601 --> 00:00:03,836 So, being married... Different, not different? 2 00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:05,371 It's the same. Mostly. 3 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:07,272 Except I think I might be getting carpal tunnel. 4 00:00:07,274 --> 00:00:09,174 My hand keeps cramping up. 5 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,143 I thought the whole point of getting married was 6 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:12,678 That you didn't have to do that anymore. 7 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,514 No, it's from writing all the thank you notes. 8 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,349 Mostly. Yeah. 9 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,184 You're writing constantly. 10 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,153 There's forms we have to sign, 11 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,187 Our death folders, 12 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:23,288 Thank you notes. Whoa, whoa. 13 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,524 What are death folders? 14 00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,026 It's this thing they recommend you do 15 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,994 In case one spouse dies unexpectedly. 16 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,129 It's all the information 17 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,230 Your spouse might need 18 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,998 All in one convenient location. 19 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,033 Lily: Yeah. 20 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:36,068 Account info, important addresses, 21 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,836 A letter to the other person. 22 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:38,838 All that stuff. 23 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,005 I'll get the next round. 24 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:43,008 Thanks. 25 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,543 I am such a jerk. 26 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,677 Yeah. 27 00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:46,812 Wait, why? 28 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:49,148 I didn't know that I was supposed to write a letter. 29 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:52,017 In that folder are a bunch of bank statements 30 00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,986 And a funny list of things to do with my ashes. 31 00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:54,820 Marshall brownies. 32 00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:55,988 Number six. Yeah. 33 00:00:55,990 --> 00:00:58,190 Oh, god, I am a bad husband. 34 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,225 No, uh, no, I'll just write, 35 00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:02,528 I'll write lily a letter tonight, everything'll be fine. 36 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,662 That's right. 37 00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,197 Unless... 38 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,699 You die between now and then. Ooh. 39 00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,202 Come on, that's never gonna happen. Yes! 40 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:11,870 If there's one thing we can state 41 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,105 With absolute certainty 42 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,841 It's that marshall eriksen is not going to die 43 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:16,875 Before writing that letter. 44 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,544 Barney: No way at all. 45 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:21,180 In fact, I dare god 46 00:01:21,182 --> 00:01:23,215 To smite down this perfectly healthy... 47 00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:24,550 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 48 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:26,051 I get it. 49 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:27,553 Okay, you guys know I'm a little superstitious, 50 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:29,254 And you guys are trying to freak me out. 51 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,789 Well, guess what? It didn't work. 52 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,191 So, there. 53 00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:44,269 You guys are jerks! 54 00:01:44,293 --> 00:01:52,293 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 55 00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,252 Ted: Kids, after robin and I broke up, 56 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,587 She needed some time away. 57 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:04,323 Away from her normal home, her normal life, 58 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:06,992 And it turns out, her normal self. 59 00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:09,995 I was just so uptight in new york, you know? 60 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:12,998 I mean down here everybody shares everything. 61 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,768 It's like we're all one big shimmering ball 62 00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,504 Of positive energy. 63 00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:22,508 I wonder if anyone's ever thought that before. 64 00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:23,609 Here. 65 00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,244 Eat. 66 00:02:25,246 --> 00:02:26,478 If we run out of fish, 67 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,480 I will catch more with my hands. 68 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,850 A drum circle! 69 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:32,951 They're different every time. 70 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:35,187 Let's go watch! 71 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:37,122 And here I am at the drum circle. 72 00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:38,657 Whoa, are you topless? 73 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:39,825 Ted, check this out. 74 00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,193 Seen 'em. 75 00:02:41,195 --> 00:02:43,095 Wow, it seems like a great trip. 76 00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,296 Oh, it was. 77 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,532 I feel like the robin who left 78 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:49,201 Is not the same robin who came back, you know. 79 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,004 Wow, there's a lot of nude people in here. 80 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:54,106 You haven't changed, scherbatsky. 81 00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:56,275 You're a sophisticated, scotch-swilling, 82 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,210 Cigar-smoking, red-meat-eating, 83 00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,811 Gun-toting new yorker. 84 00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:01,513 Just shoes and a shirt. 85 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,681 That's a look. 86 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,850 What you are not is a massage-giving, 87 00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,451 Windsurfing, bongo-playing, 88 00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:08,554 Teetotaling, vegan, peacenik, hippy 89 00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,622 Like you soon to be ex-boyfriend, gael. 90 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,957 Back me up here, ted. 91 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:14,393 I'm just happy robin's happy. 92 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,961 Thank you. Lily: Man, 93 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,229 This is like a "where's waldo" 94 00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,630 Of exposed genitalia. 95 00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:22,968 Except that it's really easy to find waldo. 96 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:24,002 I'm evolved... 97 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,304 And I'm enjoying living my life 98 00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,005 A little bit closer to the way gael 99 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,007 And I did in argentina. Please. 100 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:32,144 Vacation romances have an expiration date. 101 00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:35,247 Gael's got a "best if banged by" sticker on him. 102 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,381 Once your romance 103 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,483 Starts to stink, you'll dump his ass 104 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,219 Down the drain like sour milk 105 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:42,254 And go back to being "unevolved robin," 106 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:43,922 The one we actually like. 107 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,157 Back me up here, ted. 108 00:03:45,159 --> 00:03:47,993 I'm just happy robin's happy. 109 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,995 I'm telling you, within three days... 110 00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,196 Ooh, here he comes. Switched to big words. 111 00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:54,333 Within a triad of solar periods, 112 00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:56,001 You'll recognize your dearth 113 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,936 Of compatibility with your paramour 114 00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,172 And conclude your association. 115 00:04:00,174 --> 00:04:01,374 My journey was transformative. 116 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,608 And I reassert my commitment 117 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,443 To both the aforementioned paramour 118 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,845 And the philosophies he espouses. 119 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,080 What are we talking of? 120 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:09,581 Baseball? 121 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:13,252 This is all gonna return to masticate you in the gluteals. 122 00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,621 Support my hypothesis, ted. 123 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:19,524 I'm just jubilant my former paramour's jubilant. 124 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:24,730 That night marshall sat down to write the letter 125 00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:27,099 He hoped lily would never have to read. 126 00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:31,069 "My dearest, sweetest, lily pad. 127 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:34,206 "Let this letter be a small beacon, 128 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:38,110 "a tiny firefly to help light your way 129 00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:40,445 "through the years ahead. 130 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:44,383 "My love for you persists 131 00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:46,418 "higher than the himalayas. 132 00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:49,621 Deeper than a scottish loch." 133 00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:54,893 "if I died under suspicious circumstances, 134 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:56,728 "then beware. 135 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:58,497 "Trust no one. 136 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,666 Not even ted." 137 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,271 "especially not ted." 138 00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,740 "know that I'll always be there in your heart 139 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,575 "whenever you need me, 140 00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:13,779 "and that my love for you will never die. 141 00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:15,681 "Love... 142 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,883 Your marshmallow." 143 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:40,105 "m. 144 00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:43,842 "Atm pin code: 5-4-5-9. 145 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,711 "Teacher's pension account: 146 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,713 "a-3-9-3-2. 147 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:49,014 "Cancel vogue. 148 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,283 L." 149 00:05:52,318 --> 00:05:53,885 My windsurfing board... 150 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:55,687 It had floated away. 151 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,222 And the shark... 152 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,958 He was getting closer. 153 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,226 They say to escape 154 00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:02,861 You punch a shark in the nose. 155 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,062 But I said, 156 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,664 "brother shark," 157 00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,199 We are both children 158 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,501 "From the same earth mother." 159 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,938 And that's all I remember until the hospital. 160 00:06:13,906 --> 00:06:15,907 That guy. Yeah. 161 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,909 That guy. 162 00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:19,311 Look at how easy he has it. 163 00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:21,413 You and me, we have to bend over backwards 164 00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:24,916 To get a woman to, well, bend over backwards. 165 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,918 But that guy... 166 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,754 Every woman in the bar is hanging 167 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:31,656 On his every slightly mispronounced word. 168 00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,325 And why? 169 00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:35,527 He's better looking than us. 170 00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,862 No. 171 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,563 Because he's from out of town. 172 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,533 With and accent and an innocent smile, 173 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,735 You don't even have to try. Yeah. 174 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,771 You're leaving in a couple of days. 175 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,907 God, I wish we were tourists. Yeah. 176 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,843 Actually... 177 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:54,679 You know where I've been meaning to visit? 178 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,383 Okay, okay, we're from a small town 179 00:06:58,385 --> 00:06:59,451 In the south of France. 180 00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,520 Our plane leaves Sunday morning. 181 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,189 Uh, hey, uh, howdy, ladies. 182 00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,191 Hate to bother you. 183 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:06,425 We seem to be a little bit lost. 184 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:07,859 Would you happen to know which street 185 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,294 The statue of liberty's on? 186 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:12,130 Actually, it's on its own island. 187 00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:13,965 Oh! Oh, it's right... 188 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,734 Ah. Thank you very... 189 00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:19,404 Uh, my name is, uh, ignatius peabody nobel. 190 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:22,307 From east westerton, missouri. 191 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:25,444 And this is my friend, ted. 192 00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:26,945 Hi, um, I'm colleen. 193 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,113 Hi, colleen. This is lindsay. 194 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,648 Hi, lindsay. 195 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:32,784 You-you-you ladies, been awful nice to us. 196 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,885 What do you say... 197 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,253 Ah, never mind. No... 198 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,087 No, what is it? 199 00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:37,122 Well... 200 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,390 It's just we're leaving Sunday morning. 201 00:07:38,392 --> 00:07:40,425 It sure would be nice to have some real new yorkers 202 00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:41,960 Show us around. Yeah. 203 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:45,163 Well, we're busy tonight, but... 204 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,832 Maybe tomorrow afternoon? 205 00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:47,966 After lunch? 206 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,301 Well, hotdog! 207 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:50,469 Should we... 208 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:51,570 You want to just meet here 209 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,772 In front of mac... Maclaren's pub? 210 00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,640 It's kind of a lame bar, but sure. 211 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,776 Really? It doesn't seem that lame to me. 212 00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:58,410 It's pretty lame. 213 00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:00,512 I think it's cool. 214 00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,247 We'll see you tomorrow. Barney: All right. 215 00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:03,849 I'm just saying it seems like a kind of bar 216 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,317 A lot of cool people would hang out at. 217 00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:06,319 Okay, all right. 218 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,986 So, gael, huh? Mmm. 219 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,187 Still going strong? 220 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,589 Yeah, it's great. 221 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:13,458 Amazing, fantastic, awesome. 222 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:14,659 Ooh, that's one too many. 223 00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,527 What's going on? 224 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,496 Well, now that I'm home, 225 00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:18,497 I'm finding myself getting annoyed 226 00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,999 At things that I loved on vacation. 227 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,601 Here, taste. 228 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,870 Experience your food. 229 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,706 Oh. 230 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,708 So good. 231 00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,343 Here, taste. 232 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,044 Experience your food. 233 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,980 Ooh, sofa, ooh, sofa. 234 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,314 Sofa, sofa, oh. 235 00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,451 Ooh. We're alone now. 236 00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,720 I must have you. 237 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:47,826 Ooh. I must have you. 238 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,861 Laptop, laptop, laptop! 239 00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:53,198 And you know what else? 240 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,000 I'm still finding sand everywhere. 241 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:57,369 I mean, we haven't been to the beach since argentina. 242 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:59,070 Where is all coming from? 243 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,872 Well, maybe you're just going back 244 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,074 To the person you were before the trip. 245 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:04,242 But I don't want to. 246 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,244 I was so happy down there. 247 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,546 No, you know what? 248 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,014 I'm done complaining. 249 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,715 I'm evolving. 250 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,017 Just gonna 251 00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,085 Go with the flow. 252 00:09:17,323 --> 00:09:18,557 Wow. 253 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,826 Gael, you're peeing while I'm in the shower. 254 00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:23,562 Okay. 255 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:27,365 Okay, old robin would have been like, dude, ocupado. 256 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:30,335 But now, you know what, I'm cool with it. 257 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,037 Pee it up. 258 00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,538 In fact, 259 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:36,041 When you're done, why don't you come in here and join me? 260 00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,610 Don't mind if I do, love. 261 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,747 Gael, there's some weird du... 262 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,049 Hello. Hey! 263 00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,718 I made some new traveling friends today, 264 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,054 And they'll be staying with us, how do you say... 265 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,722 Indefinitely! 266 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,490 All: G'day! 267 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,129 Ooh, here. 268 00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:00,051 Will you sign this thank you note? 269 00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:03,368 Wow. 270 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,302 Both sides. 271 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,570 You wrote on 272 00:10:05,572 --> 00:10:08,940 Both sides of a thank you note to my third cousin 273 00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:11,743 For a blender that you haven't even taken out of the box. 274 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,079 It's a really nice blender. Well, if you love 275 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,481 That blender so much, why don't you just marry it. 276 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,483 I can't. I married you. 277 00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,485 That's how we go the blender. 278 00:10:21,053 --> 00:10:22,120 What's wrong? 279 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,722 Nothing. 280 00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:24,889 Nothing's wrong. 281 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:25,957 What could be wrong? 282 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,093 Except that when you die I'm gonna find out 283 00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:30,428 That your parting words to comfort me for all eternity 284 00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:31,730 Were "cancel vogue." 285 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,065 How can you open my letter? 286 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:35,333 That was not a letter. 287 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:36,735 It was barely even a text message. 288 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:40,071 That short, at least have the courtesy to make it rhyme. 289 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:43,008 Marshall, wait. 290 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,111 This was our first fight as a married couple. 291 00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,245 Oh, baby. 292 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,514 Oh... Oh. 293 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,185 Kids, there are a thousand amazing places you can find 294 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:55,453 Only in new york city. 295 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,655 Instead of any of those, 296 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,957 Colleen and lindsay took us here. 297 00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:00,925 Colleen: This is our favorite restaurant 298 00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,160 In the city. 299 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,762 Yes, I'm sure this is the best 300 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:08,233 Of their 57 "spudtacular" east coast locations. 301 00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,602 I'm going to run to the restroom. 302 00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:13,772 I'm gonna go, too. 303 00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,543 This is the easiest date ever. 304 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:20,111 You know what I'm gonna try next? 305 00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,446 A knock, knock joke. 306 00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:23,448 Easiest? Somehow we have managed 307 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:26,518 To find the two lamest new yorkers of all time. 308 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,353 Ted, ted, ted. Dude, I am looking at you. 309 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,854 What? Right. 310 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,122 Stay with me. 311 00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:34,659 We are on the cusp of moving from out-of-towners 312 00:11:34,661 --> 00:11:36,394 To in-their-pantsers. 313 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,296 Ay-o. 314 00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,298 All right, ignatius, 315 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:40,965 One more hour. Nice. 316 00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,668 Nice. Hey, nice. Hey... 317 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,737 Hey, our friends invited us to a party. 318 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,306 You guys want to come along? Knock, knock. 319 00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:49,574 Who's there? Yes, we do. 320 00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:53,978 Quick announcement. 321 00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,013 I am 322 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:58,383 So glad that you're here, fellow travelers. 323 00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,218 A couple rules... 324 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,519 Not even rules. 325 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:05,824 Let's call them guidelines for harmonious living. 326 00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,826 Guideline for harmonious living 327 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,661 Number one... 328 00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:13,431 The kitchen sink is for dishes, the toilet is for pee-pee. 329 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:14,766 G.F.H.L. 330 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:15,768 Number two... 331 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,703 Marijuana is illegal in the United States, 332 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,839 Even when baked into a blueberry muffin 333 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,675 That someone might mistakenly eat for breakfast 334 00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:27,112 Right before they leave for their job as a tv newscaster. 335 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,246 "This just in: 336 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:32,417 Look at my hand, how weird is my hand?" 337 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,386 Is not an appropriate thing to say on the air. 338 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,921 And number three, I... 339 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:44,262 And number three is please keep the noise to a minimum. 340 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,264 I have to take a nap. 341 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,800 I'm still pretty baked. 342 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:56,141 Everything's so bright, even at night. 343 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,642 No wonder the city never sleeps. 344 00:12:58,645 --> 00:12:59,644 Hey, if we're going north, 345 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,412 Why did we cross over the fdr? 346 00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:02,614 We should have taken the hudson. 347 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:04,649 : Now he knows all the streets. 348 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,951 Someone's been watching too many steinfeld reruns. 349 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,455 Where are we even going anyway? 350 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,923 148th and brook avenue. 351 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:15,493 A hundred... in the south bronx at this time of night? 352 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,628 We're going to get killed. 353 00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,997 Ted, I think these local new yorkers 354 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:22,667 Know more about the city than we do, so relax. 355 00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,637 We're in very capable hands. 356 00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:29,240 There were three of them, at least two guns... 357 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:30,475 They took all our money. 358 00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,745 Well, I only had traveler's checks. 359 00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:36,681 Hey, babe. 360 00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:39,350 I've been thinking about our fight. 361 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,618 Yes? 362 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,855 I'm really, really... 363 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,891 Surprised that you haven't apologized to me yet. 364 00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:50,762 Wow, you really want to open this up again. 365 00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:53,765 Oh, I forgot, you open everything up, 366 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,667 Even if you're not supposed to until I'm dead. 367 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,669 You know that this is important to me. 368 00:13:57,671 --> 00:13:59,037 Why won't you just write the letter? 369 00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:02,140 Because I can't bear the thought of not being with you, 370 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:05,510 Not even for long enough to write you a stupid letter. 371 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,145 Really? 372 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:08,713 Yes, really. 373 00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,648 Plus, I know as soon as I write it, 374 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,817 You're just going to open it up and read it again. 375 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:15,854 Lily, I won't, I promise. 376 00:14:15,856 --> 00:14:17,689 Okay. 377 00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:19,724 I'll write you a letter for my death folder. 378 00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,993 Do you mind, um, maybe slipping 379 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,529 In a little bit of dirty stuff, too? 380 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,031 I tell you what. 381 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,234 How about I make it all dirty stuff 382 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:32,036 And slip in a little clean stuff? 383 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,371 You're the best. 384 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:37,208 And maybe a couple polaroids? 385 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,744 Come on, let's get out of here. 386 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:41,479 This night's a disaster. What?! 387 00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:44,415 This night couldn't have gone any better. 388 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:45,583 We just survived a mugging. 389 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:46,851 You know what that means. 390 00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:47,919 "Thank god we're alive" sex. 391 00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,088 "Thank god we're alive" sex. 392 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,656 It's even better 393 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,725 Than "I can't believe you just proposed to me" sex, 394 00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:55,727 Which I've only had, like, four or five times. 395 00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,329 Ted, please, we are so close. 396 00:14:58,331 --> 00:14:59,898 All right, I'm in. 397 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,300 I've never worked this hard for anything in my life. 398 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:04,168 Whew! 399 00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:05,436 Wow, I think we all need 400 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,172 To go back to our place and recover. 401 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,107 Yeah. 402 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,575 I just want to celebrate 403 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,377 The fact that we survived. 404 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:13,379 You know? 405 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,445 Mm-hmm. 406 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,747 Me, too. 407 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:17,749 So where do you live? 408 00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,450 What, west village? Close. 409 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,653 West orange. 410 00:15:22,388 --> 00:15:25,056 West orange, new jersey? Yeah. 411 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,259 You guys live in new jersey, not new york? 412 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,460 Theodore. Yep. 413 00:15:29,462 --> 00:15:31,629 New jersey? Teddy. Yeah, but don't worry, 414 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,431 It's pretty much new york. Ted: Oh. 415 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,433 No. 416 00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,700 Oh, no. 417 00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,603 Oh, no. New jersey is not "pretty much new york." 418 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:41,906 You are not "pretty much new yorkers." 419 00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:43,908 And how would you know? Because I live here. 420 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,476 That's right, I live here. 421 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:46,778 Yes, we're full of crap. 422 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,746 Yes, we pretended to be from out of town 423 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,281 So we could sleep with you and leave in the morning. 424 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,050 But you know what's even worse than that? 425 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:55,086 Saying you're a new yorker when you're not. 426 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,955 Because this is the greatest city in the world 427 00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:59,924 And you have to earn the right to call yourself a new yorker. 428 00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,659 So why don't you girls crawl 429 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,929 Into the open sewer pipe you call the holland tunnel 430 00:16:04,931 --> 00:16:08,433 And flush yourselves back to "pretty much new york"? 431 00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,400 Because I will do a lot 432 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,935 To get laid, 433 00:16:10,937 --> 00:16:14,973 But I am not going to new jersey! 434 00:16:16,810 --> 00:16:21,879 You're not from missouri? 435 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:26,517 Well, I will be a monkey's unc... 436 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:28,453 Ew. Right. 437 00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,755 Can we get a ride? 438 00:16:32,124 --> 00:16:33,858 Hey, um, sir, 439 00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,660 Can we get a ride, too? 440 00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,196 Newark, born and raised. 441 00:16:49,641 --> 00:16:52,477 Can you please keep it down? 442 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:55,947 What happened to you, man? 443 00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:58,883 You said you wouldn't change, but look at you. 444 00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:03,054 No more tan, no more beaded braids, 445 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,188 No more lush, 446 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:08,159 Untamed forest of leg and armpit hair. 447 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,327 You're back at work. 448 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:10,495 What gives? 449 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,530 Well, I have to have a job. 450 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,899 "I have to have a job." 451 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,402 God, that's so american. 452 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,337 I'm canadian. You know that. 453 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:23,541 What about the important things like making your own jewelry 454 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,976 And lying on the beach 455 00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:27,245 And thinking about peace? 456 00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,346 God, don't you care 457 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:31,849 About thinking about peace? 458 00:17:31,851 --> 00:17:33,551 Wow. 459 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,986 I just realized something. 460 00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,988 That you've lost your way. 461 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:37,755 No, 462 00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,257 That you really suck. 463 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:41,025 You're boring and lame 464 00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,326 And you're getting sand everywhere. 465 00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:45,129 Seriously, where is all the sand coming from? 466 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:47,031 You're not the real me. 467 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,567 All you are is me on vacation 468 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,536 Trying to get away from a break-up. 469 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:54,005 Don't you remember argentina? 470 00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:00,845 Don't you want to go back? 471 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,180 What are you doing? 472 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,462 Shh... 473 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,253 Let this happen. 474 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:26,404 All right, everyone out. 475 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,773 I said everyone out! 476 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,819 All right, we're leaving, we're leaving, okay. 477 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,222 Michael moore was so right about americans. 478 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,791 I'm canadian! 479 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:51,095 Robin, 480 00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,563 You okay? 481 00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,732 No, I'm not. 482 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:57,135 Listen, gael, 483 00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,569 I need to talk to you about something. 484 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,072 After they broke up, robin went back to being robin. 485 00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,242 Welcome home, scherbatsky. 486 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,144 Oh, good to be back. 487 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:10,148 Vacation robin popped into my dream again last night. 488 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,749 Listening. 489 00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,451 This time we went all the way. 490 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:14,752 Tell you one thing. 491 00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:18,156 She may be sandy, but that chick knows what I like. 492 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,031 Okay, I'm done. 493 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,534 But I really don't want you reading this unless... 494 00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:31,836 You know, something happens. 495 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,539 Can you swear to me you won't open it? 496 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,440 Totally. What does it say? 497 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:39,010 Marshall, I'm serious. 498 00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,378 Okay. 499 00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:43,714 I promise I won't, I won't open that until you're dead. 500 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:46,884 And through 22 wonderful years of marriage, 501 00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:49,187 Marshall kept his promise 502 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:54,025 Until November 1 of last year when, sadly... 503 00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:10,841 "busted! I knew you'd read this. 504 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:14,111 You suck, marshall, you totally suck." 505 00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,349 That's it? 506 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:20,651 I suck? 507 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,686 Lily. Yes, you suck. 508 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:24,922 And you did. Well, you didn't keep your promise either. 509 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,091 I don't see any dirty pictures in here. 510 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:27,892 Oh, fine, 511 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,361 I'll take the dirty pictures. 512 00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,730 I don't want 'em now. 513 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:33,998 What is that supposed to mean? 514 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000 What?! 515 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,200 Nothing. 516 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:37,235 Nothing. 517 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,035 You're beautiful. 518 00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:39,170 I would love the photos. 519 00:20:39,172 --> 00:20:41,732 Have I told you how beautiful you look?