1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,470 Ted: Back when we were dating, robin and I had this running joke. 2 00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,939 We were the only two people in the world who found it funny. 3 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:08,140 No way. 4 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,142 March does not have 31 days. 5 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,010 Yes, it does. 6 00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:12,344 Everyone knows that. 7 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,046 It's like general knowledge. 8 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:15,381 General knowledge. General knowledge. 9 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:17,950 And we did it all the time. 10 00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:19,284 Isn't it sad? 11 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:20,819 I mean in 2007, 12 00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,889 Some countries actually still condone corporal punishment. 13 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,657 Corporal punishment. Corporal punishment. 14 00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,292 Because once you start, 15 00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:28,994 It's surprisingly hard to stop. 16 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:31,830 Oh, man, I got a kernel stuck in my teeth. 17 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,298 Colonel stuck-in-my-teeth. 18 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,402 Please stop! I hate you! You're killing me! 19 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,570 But now, we were broken up, so when marshall said... 20 00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:41,673 But after the first year, I get a major pay raise. 21 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:44,143 We just let it slide. 22 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:45,711 You see, on the surface, robin and I looked like 23 00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:46,812 We were doing great. 24 00:00:46,814 --> 00:00:48,414 But the truth is, 25 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,149 Trying to be friends with your ex 26 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,550 Is a lot harder than it looks. 27 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,185 You can't be as candid as you used to be. 28 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,154 So then hot intern leans over my desk, 29 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:57,423 I can totally see she has a pierced... 30 00:00:58,024 --> 00:00:59,391 Brosnan. 31 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,227 Pierce brosnan is my favorite of all the bonds. 32 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:05,831 But most importantly, you can never, ever be alone together. 33 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,199 I gotta go. 34 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,501 I'm gonna go pay. Peeing. 35 00:01:13,873 --> 00:01:15,074 I'm gonna help marshall pay. 36 00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:16,575 I'm gonna help lily pee. 37 00:01:16,599 --> 00:01:22,599 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 38 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:32,091 All right, we have a turkey. 39 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,425 Yeah, we do. 40 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,793 Isn't this exciting? 41 00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:37,096 Our first thanksgiving together as a group. 42 00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:39,565 Yeah, this is gonna be the best slapsgiving ever. 43 00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:40,299 What? 44 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,934 I said this is going to be 45 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:43,602 The best thanksgiving ever. 46 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,404 Yeah, this is going to be great. 47 00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,272 Just the five of us, right? 48 00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,740 Oh, uh, that reminds me: I invited bob. 49 00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,075 Bob? 50 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,077 You've been on, like, three dates with that guy. 51 00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:53,579 We haven't even met him. 52 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,881 Well, he didn't have anywhere else to go, 53 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:57,416 And I didn't know what to say. 54 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,917 Is it really that big a deal? 55 00:01:58,919 --> 00:01:59,919 Yes. 56 00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,620 This is our first thanksgiving. 57 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,822 30 years from now, we're going to look at the photos 58 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:08,393 And say, "oh, there's the four people I love most in the world." 59 00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,761 And bob." 60 00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,730 I'm sorry, sometimes I forget 61 00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,899 How seriously you guys take american thanksgiving. 62 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,801 Real thanksgiving happened over a month ago. 63 00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,803 I'm sorry. 64 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,439 Did you just say canadian thanksgiving was, 65 00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:23,308 And I'm quoting, "the real thanksgiving"? 66 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:27,946 What do canadians even have to celebrate about? 67 00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:29,648 Canadian thanksgiving 68 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,584 Celebrates explorer martin frobisher's valiant 69 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,820 Yet ultimately unsuccessful attempt 70 00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,622 To find the northwest passage. 71 00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:39,291 Why are you guys even a country? 72 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:40,792 Oh, hey, by the way, 73 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,761 If anyone wants to come over early Thursday, 74 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,029 We can watch the slapsgiving day parade. 75 00:02:44,031 --> 00:02:45,664 Well, there, you said it again. 76 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:46,365 Said what? 77 00:02:46,367 --> 00:02:47,299 Slapsgiving. 78 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,535 Oh, I guess I did. 79 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:53,539 You know why? I've invented a new holiday: Slapsgiving. 80 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,307 It's the one day we set aside each year 81 00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:58,143 To gather together and give slaps. 82 00:02:58,145 --> 00:02:59,678 Ted: I should explain. 83 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,180 Kids, you remember the slap bet. 84 00:03:01,182 --> 00:03:03,682 A year earlier, marshall made a bet with barney 85 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,651 And won the right to slap him five times. 86 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:07,686 He had already used the first. 87 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:11,123 And the second. 88 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,725 But marshall had something special in store for the third. 89 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,294 Slapcountdown.Com. 90 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,029 No. 91 00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:17,863 No, no. 92 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:20,499 The countdown ends at 3:00 p.M., 93 00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:22,000 The day after thanksgiving. 94 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,168 I counted it out. 95 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,836 How many days are in October? 96 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:27,005 Uh, thirty. 97 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:30,509 Dude, I thought we cleared this up last year. 98 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:33,011 I like Halloween very much. 99 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,314 Is nice. 100 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,548 Is also tomorrow. 101 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,983 Damn it! 102 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:42,221 Wait, you're gonna slap me on thanksgiving? 103 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,223 Slapsgiving. 104 00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:44,890 That's not allowed. 105 00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:47,726 Lily, you're the slap bet commissioner, is that allowed? 106 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,062 The hostess in me who's using her wedding china 107 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,531 For the first time wants to say hell, no, 108 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,733 But yeah, I'm going to allow it. 109 00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,401 Well, you know what? 110 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,203 If you're trying to freak me out 111 00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,405 About spending thanksgiving... 112 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,572 Slapsgiving. 113 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,708 At your place, then you failed. 114 00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,576 Truth is, I'm not scared. 115 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,912 Really? Right. 'cause you blew it. 116 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,747 Hmm. The worst part about getting slapped 117 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,616 Is not knowing when it's going to happen. 118 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,751 But now I know exactly when I'm gonna get slapped. 119 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,053 So, you took all the suspense out. 120 00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:17,256 You showed your hand. 121 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:19,725 And Thursday at 3:01 p.M., 122 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,794 Your face is going to show my hand. 123 00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,864 Oh, there's bob! 124 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,366 By the way, heads up, he's a little bit older than us. 125 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:28,400 How old is he? 126 00:04:28,402 --> 00:04:29,568 He's forty-one. 127 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:30,269 Hey, bob! 128 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:32,037 Over here! 129 00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:35,107 Ted: Okay, kids, the truth is, bob probably looked like this. 130 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:36,608 Hey, sweetie. Hi. 131 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,745 But when your ex is dating someone new, 132 00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:42,080 Your mind tends to accentuate their flaws. 133 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:43,749 This is how I saw bob. 134 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,784 Hey, dudes, what's crackin'? 135 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,419 Hey... Hey, man, how are you? 136 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:48,420 Marshall: Good to meet you. 137 00:04:48,422 --> 00:04:49,388 Sorry I'm late. 138 00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,656 I just got off the phone with my parents. 139 00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:51,923 Parents? 140 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:53,825 They were totally on my case: 141 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:56,061 "what are you gonna do with your life? You're forty-one." 142 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:59,965 And I'm like, "chillax, snowboarding is a legit career." 143 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:03,268 You ought to be stoked I found my bliss." 144 00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:06,171 And speaking of bliss, sugar me, baby. 145 00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,506 Ooh. 146 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:08,440 Robin: Mm... 147 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,741 Let's go get a drink. 148 00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:14,012 Wow! 149 00:05:14,014 --> 00:05:15,247 Unbelievable. 150 00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:17,749 Robin is dating orville redenbacher. 151 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,686 What are you talking about? 152 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,921 He's forty-one. He looks great. 153 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,456 Yeah, dude he's in pretty good shape. 154 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,657 He could kick your ass. 155 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,459 How are you guys not seeing this? 156 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,328 He's 150; robin's 27. 157 00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:31,129 Barney, come on, what do you got? 158 00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,332 Nothing but respect for that man. 159 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:36,668 Oh, by the way, we're all baking pies at robin's tomorrow. 160 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,205 Marshall can't be trusted in the apartment with pies overnight. 161 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,940 For the millionth time, 162 00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:47,112 Sleep-eating is a very serious and delicious medical condition. 163 00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:49,948 Hey, uh, what time are you guys going to robin's? 164 00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:50,849 7:30. 165 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:52,351 Perfect. 166 00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:54,519 Just to be safe, I'll get there like 8:00, 8:30. 167 00:05:55,221 --> 00:05:56,355 Hey. Hey. 168 00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,522 Sorry I'm late. 169 00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:58,957 Where are marshall and lily? 170 00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,359 Uh, they just called. 171 00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,794 They're both super swamped preparing for tomorrow. 172 00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,336 Is bob coming? 173 00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,205 No, he went to see green day. 174 00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:16,074 So it's... 175 00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,509 Just the two of us. Just the two of us. 176 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:18,977 Making pies. 177 00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,479 Pies. They're things that friends make together. 178 00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:21,580 Yeah, they do. 179 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:22,848 Yeah. Yeah. 180 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:24,049 Great. Yeah. 181 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,884 Great. Well, this is great. 182 00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:28,653 It'll give us a chance to catch up. Yeah. 183 00:06:31,424 --> 00:06:35,144 I'm going to make a phone call. I'll put it in the oven. 184 00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,362 Hey, it's me. 185 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,231 Listen, you have to come over here and make pies. 186 00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:41,233 Yeah, I'll be there, absolutely. 187 00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,101 Oh, awesome, you're a lifesaver. 188 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,703 It's still kind of weird being alone with robin, 189 00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,104 But if you were here... 190 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,506 Hey, say no more. 191 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:48,874 I mean, when I pulled 192 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,275 You out of that burning wreckage, 193 00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,077 I wasn't doing it to have a battleship named after me. 194 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,578 But if you insist, 195 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,614 Yes, I'll be there for the christening. 196 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,283 You're hitting on someone right now, aren't you? 197 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,385 No, I'm not going to wear the medal of honor. 198 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,587 That would just be tacky. 199 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,855 So you're not coming to make pies. 200 00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:04,956 No, no. 201 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,558 Thank you, mr. President. 202 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,593 Sorry. 203 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,730 After a very long night, it was finally the big holiday. 204 00:07:11,732 --> 00:07:13,899 Sorry, the two big holidays. 205 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,233 Oh, marshall, 206 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,902 Are you working on the cranberry sauce? 207 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,638 In a minute, baby. I've only got so many hands. 208 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,807 You see what I got going on here? 209 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,575 They're turkeys, but they're also hands, 210 00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:26,077 Because later, we're going to eat turkey... 211 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:28,580 And then I'm going to slap you in your face. 212 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:32,083 Please, you took out all the suspense. 213 00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:33,618 In a horror movie, 214 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,487 The killer does not grab a bullhorn and announce, 215 00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:38,457 "attention unsupervised teens here at the lake house: 216 00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,258 "at precisely 3:00 a.M., 217 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,327 "I'm gonna jump out of that closet right there 218 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:43,895 "and hack you all up with a machete. 219 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:45,831 P.S. Fire is my one weakness." 220 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,270 Hey, ted. 221 00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,972 Hey, happy thanksgiving. You, too. 222 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,240 Is lily in the kitchen? 223 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,808 Yep. Great. 224 00:07:59,278 --> 00:08:00,345 Marshall? Lily? 225 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,080 Yeah? Uh-huh? 226 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,882 Both: Something really weird happened last night. 227 00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,187 What do you mean something weird happened last night? 228 00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,822 You may not realize this, but since we broke up, 229 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,491 Robin and I have never really been alone together. 230 00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:14,192 So we're in the kitchen, 231 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,161 Starting on the pies, and we realize, 232 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,129 We don't have a damn thing to say to each other. 233 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,798 I mean, you can't talk about 234 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,366 How close you used to be. 235 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:22,634 You can't talk about how close 236 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,169 You're not now. 237 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,704 You just feel like everything you say 238 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:26,771 Is gonna make things worse. 239 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,940 Exactly. And you know why? 240 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:31,343 Because you don't want to hurt someone you really care about, 241 00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,345 Especially around the holidays. 242 00:08:33,347 --> 00:08:35,814 I mean, what decent human being would want to cause 243 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:38,483 Any kind of emotional or physical pain... 244 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,518 You're still getting slapped. 245 00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:42,654 I wanted to leave, but I couldn't stick her 246 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:44,022 With making all the pies by herself. 247 00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,857 She was exhausted. 248 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,493 I yawned like a million times trying to get him to leave. 249 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,829 Yeah, some people just can't take a hint. 250 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,731 By the way, I'm really swamped in here. 251 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,232 I kept looking at the clock and sighing... 252 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:56,001 Totally clueless. 253 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,969 Uh-huh. I'm not sure I have time to mash 254 00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,671 Those potatoes, you're standing right next to. 255 00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,306 And then ted does the thing that he always does 256 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,974 When there's an awkward silence. 257 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,709 Yep. Masher's right there, next to the pot. 258 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:07,412 He panics and says the first thing that pops into his head. 259 00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:09,247 Hey, did you know that 260 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:12,951 The first pies in recorded history came from ancient egypt? 261 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:17,222 Remember last year's thanksgiving, 262 00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,991 When we had sex seven times? 263 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,328 Ooh. Terrible. What?! 264 00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:25,196 I thought it would break the ice. 265 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,399 I'd already broken the ice with my cool pie fact. 266 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,201 Then he makes it ten times more awkward. 267 00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,604 How do you respond to something like that? 268 00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,907 Did you know that the egyptian pyramids can be seen from space? 269 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:37,409 Probably? 270 00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:41,046 Ooh, the oven's pre-heated! 271 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,280 Okay, um... 272 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,916 The pecan pie is gonna take the longest. 273 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,085 Why don't we put that one in first? 274 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,254 Pecan pie? Why are we making that? 275 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:50,922 Um, it's my favorite. 276 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,591 You're allergic. 277 00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:55,093 I know. I just like smelling it. 278 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,962 It's like eating with your nose. 279 00:09:56,964 --> 00:10:00,599 So we're making a pie for bob. 280 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,367 Well... 281 00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:03,602 Yeah. 282 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,271 She's got you making pies for this guy? 283 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:08,039 Yeah. Wow. 284 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,375 That is a real slap in the face. 285 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,746 You know, you could have just told me it was for bob. 286 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,048 Yeah, I-I just thought it might upset you. 287 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,950 Upset me? Wait a second. 288 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,418 Do you think that... 289 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,423 Do you think that I'm jealous of bob? 290 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,791 I don't know. 291 00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:28,627 Is it so ridiculous to think that you might be? 292 00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:30,462 Yes. Why? 293 00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:32,731 Because he's a thousand years old. 294 00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:35,500 No, ted, what are you doing? 295 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:36,635 Right? 296 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,670 The only reason I'm jealous of bob 297 00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:39,904 Is that we can only talk about the first thanksgiving, 298 00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,306 But he was actually there. 299 00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:42,308 Come on. 300 00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,441 The only reason 301 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,976 I'm jealous of bob is because 302 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,144 I heard noah gave him shotgun in the ark. 303 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:46,945 Ted... 304 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:47,812 The only reason 305 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,514 I'm jealous of bob 306 00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,282 Is that I'm just an architect, but he discovered fire. 307 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:52,917 How do you top that? 308 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:55,820 He's 41! Why are you bashing on him so hard? 309 00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,656 I'm not. I'm just joking around. 310 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,491 That's what friends do. 311 00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,126 It's mean. 312 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,994 Well, how come we're all allowed to bust on barney 313 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,629 When he dates some skanktron, 314 00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,331 But when you sleep with the crypt keeper's dad, 315 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,033 I'm not allowed to say a word? 316 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,702 First of all, bob and I are not sleeping together. 317 00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,103 We're just dating. 318 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,672 Secondly, have I said one word 319 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,940 About the parade of dubious conquests 320 00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:18,109 You've been marching past me the last few months? 321 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,178 One of whom got you a butterfly tattoo? 322 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,480 Hey, that is... And if you and I are such good friends... 323 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,116 Why is baking a pie for bob so weird? 324 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,285 Yeah, if you and I are such good friends, 325 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,607 Why couldn't you just tell me that's what we were doing? 326 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,157 Okay, maybe we should talk about this later. 327 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,458 I-I should get going. 328 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,228 Well, what are we doing? It's thanksgiving. 329 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,496 I don't know. I'm sorry. 330 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:39,664 This is stupid. 331 00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:40,699 I'm sorry, too. 332 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:41,966 Of course we're friends. 333 00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:42,867 I'm glad we're friends. 334 00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,202 Me, too. 335 00:11:53,913 --> 00:11:56,681 : You guys slept together last night? 336 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,850 That is a terrible idea! 337 00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,552 Horrible idea. 338 00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:02,587 Relapse five! 339 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,222 That's where we high-five, 340 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,491 Then it's awkward for a little bit... 341 00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:08,860 And then we high-five again! 342 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,195 What the hell were you doing? 343 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,396 Let's review: 344 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,431 You and ted broke up six months ago, 345 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,366 Yep. You're dating another man... 346 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:16,935 You are correct, sir. 347 00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,369 Who's coming to my thanksgiving today... 348 00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,871 That is a truth-fact. 349 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,240 An event ted is also attending. Ka-blammo. 350 00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,743 Why are you trying to destroy american thanksgiving?! 351 00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,578 Oh, lily, it's not as bad as it sounds. 352 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:28,413 Bob and I aren't that serious, 353 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,382 And what happened last night with ted was a fluke. 354 00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:34,018 Well, did you guys at least talk about it? 355 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:40,492 There's office material... I hear something burning... 356 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,394 Clearly, we need to ignore this. 357 00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,930 Clearly, we need to talk about this. 358 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,399 : You know? To save the friendship. 359 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,535 Hi. Hi. 360 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,437 We need to talk. Stuffed mushroom? 361 00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,239 We need to talk about last night. 362 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,641 Did you know that some mushrooms are carnivorous? 363 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,544 Probably... Not? 364 00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,480 Ted, can we please just deal with this? 365 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,282 Look, I'm, I'm not mad. 366 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,084 I just think... Wait, wait, wait, wait. 367 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,318 Why would you be mad... You started it? 368 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,787 What?! You're crazy! 369 00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,722 We called a truce, we hugged, 370 00:13:10,724 --> 00:13:13,158 And when I tried to pull away, you kept your hand on my neck. 371 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,426 Only because your hand was still around my waist. 372 00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,428 Oh, come on! You leaned into it. 373 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,464 I... Leaned into it? Yeah. 374 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,332 You're like the crappy kid in little league 375 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,168 Who knows he's not going to make contact, 376 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,103 So he just... "oops, I got hit by the pitch. 377 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,504 Better take my base." 378 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,606 Oh, that was you in little league, wasn't it? 379 00:13:28,608 --> 00:13:30,008 My on-base percentage was off the charts! 380 00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:32,977 Marshall: Oh, no! 381 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,146 The slap-petizers. 382 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:36,948 You know what? That's it! 383 00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:39,651 This is thanksgiving. Solve this right now. 384 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:44,155 And if you have sex again, neither of you gets dessert! 385 00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,759 : Oh, what the hell kind of thanksgiving is this anyway? 386 00:13:47,761 --> 00:13:49,794 Um, most thanksgivings. 387 00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,129 Don't stress, baby. 388 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:52,597 I'll try to find us something relaxing. 389 00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,332 Thanks, baby. 390 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,035 Ooh, some classical music, maybe. 391 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,137 Oh, my! 392 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,505 Look at that. 393 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:03,308 That means we're in the final hour of the countdown. 394 00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,677 I'm not scared. 395 00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,012 Then why is your right cheek twitching? 396 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,480 It's not... 397 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,617 Maybe it's because future me slaps future you so hard, 398 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,452 It reverberates back to the present, 399 00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,821 Shattering the time-slap continuum. 400 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:18,523 Please don't slap me. 401 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,958 I'm sorry, what? 402 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,659 Oh, god! Don't slap me again! 403 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,127 I don't want to get slapped again, 404 00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:24,562 And the first two times hurt so bad, I don't like it! 405 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,398 I don't like it one bit! 406 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:30,468 Well, I thought I ruined it by putting a clock on it, barney. 407 00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:32,737 Well, you didn't ruin it; you made it so much worse! 408 00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,038 I can't eat. 409 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,506 I can't sleep. 410 00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:38,009 I've lost ten pounds; my suits are wearing me. 411 00:14:38,011 --> 00:14:39,811 You know what? I'm outta here. 412 00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:41,646 Well, no, no, no. You can't leave. 413 00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:43,181 Why can't I?! 414 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,016 Nowhere in the rules does it say that I have to sit 415 00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,684 Through sort of mental torture! 416 00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,353 You are allowed to slap my face, sir, 417 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:49,921 But you are not allowed to slap my mind! 418 00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,256 Good day! 419 00:14:51,258 --> 00:14:53,591 But it's slapsgiving. No! It's not! 420 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:55,159 It's thanksgiving! 421 00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:58,096 Our first one as a married couple, 422 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,864 As grownups... 423 00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,833 And you're not even trying to be a part of it! 424 00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,701 None of you are! 425 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,870 So... 426 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,939 As slap bet commissioner, I'm issuing a ruling. 427 00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,841 Thanksgiving is a day of peace. 428 00:15:09,843 --> 00:15:11,442 There will be no slaps today! 429 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:13,544 What?! Yes! 430 00:15:13,546 --> 00:15:15,046 In your face! 431 00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:17,415 Not my face... Your face! 432 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,350 What's up, dudes? All: Hey, bob. 433 00:15:19,352 --> 00:15:20,952 Baby, please... No! 434 00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,720 The slap bet commissioner's word is final, 435 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:26,057 So get in the kitchen and mash some potatoes, now. 436 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,726 And for the rest of the day, 437 00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:32,931 We are going to enjoy a civilized, grownup holiday. 438 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,532 Not too grownup. 439 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,034 I made jell-o shots. 440 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,770 We's gonna get silly, bitches. 441 00:15:40,406 --> 00:15:42,407 Robin: Look at us! 442 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:45,410 We can't be alone together, can we? 443 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,545 Apparently not. 444 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,081 What does that mean? 445 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,983 We're supposed to be friends. 446 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,217 Well... 447 00:15:53,219 --> 00:15:55,920 We aren't friends, are we? 448 00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,622 Not really. 449 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,290 We avoid each other. 450 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,392 We smile politely. 451 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,295 We're two people who pretend to be friends 452 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,698 Because it would be inconvenient not to. 453 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:11,469 Well, maybe we should stop pretending. 454 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,739 Maybe we should. 455 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,847 So... 456 00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:25,016 Oh, what do we do now? 457 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,852 I suppose... 458 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,954 We eat dinner. 459 00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:32,156 Yeah. 460 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:36,294 And then that's it. 461 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:39,998 Okay. 462 00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,911 Happy thanksgiving. 463 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:59,217 So we sat down to our first thanksgiving 464 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:01,386 Together as a group... And, apparently, our last. 465 00:17:01,388 --> 00:17:03,521 Marshall, you're not eating. 466 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:05,390 Did something spoil 467 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,358 Your slap-petite? 468 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,562 No. I just thought... Before we eat, 469 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,531 Maybe the chef would like to say a few words. 470 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,634 Nope. This sucks. Eat up and leave. 471 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:23,374 Well, then, I'd like to say something. 472 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:24,709 If that's cool? 473 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:29,213 Um... Today, lily did something great. 474 00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:31,883 Not only did she gather us all here together 475 00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,584 And cook a delicious meal, 476 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,820 But she also started a new tradition. 477 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,189 We're gonna do this again next year, 478 00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:41,159 And the year after that... maybe for the rest of our lives. 479 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:43,761 I think that's pretty amazing if you think about it. 480 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:47,231 And it's all thanks to you, lily. 481 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,566 I love you. 482 00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:51,235 So, to the first of many thanksgivings together. 483 00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:00,278 This is rad! 484 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:04,749 A nice, small, simple thanksgiving. 485 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,284 I'm the youngest of ten in my family, 486 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,920 So our thanksgiving is a mess. 487 00:18:09,855 --> 00:18:11,756 All the yelling and the screaming... 488 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,292 Ted and then a funny thing happened... 489 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,961 It's really a major buzz-kill. 490 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,883 Major buzz-kill. Major buzz-kill. 491 00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:23,634 Oh, no... 492 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,670 I thought we were done with that? 493 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,706 I guess we're not. 494 00:18:28,708 --> 00:18:31,843 Guess we're not. 495 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,214 You see, kids, friendship is an involuntary reflex... 496 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,483 It just happens, you can't help it. 497 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:41,419 That first thanksgiving turned out to be a wonderful dinner 498 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:43,721 With the four people I love most in the world... 499 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,957 And bob. 500 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,625 And it did become a tradition. 501 00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:49,260 That's why every year, we go to aunt lily 502 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:50,828 And uncle marshall's for thanksgiving. 503 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,463 Hey, check it out! 504 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,965 We're in the last 20 seconds 505 00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:56,300 Of marshall's countdown to nothing. 506 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,002 Barney, put it away. 507 00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:00,505 How does it feel, marshall, to sit there, impotently... 508 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:04,142 Your large, flaccid hand, just dangling in the wind? 509 00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:06,911 The slap will occur in ten... 510 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,646 Ooh, classy touch, dude. 511 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,014 Too bad! 512 00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,649 Barney, put it away. Six... 513 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,484 I will in... Five... Five, four... 514 00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,952 You can slap him. Three... 515 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:15,686 What?! Wait, you... Two... 516 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,448 One. 517 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,390 That's three! 518 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,027 Thanks, baby, you're the best. 519 00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:24,829 And as a special, added bonus, I've composed a song 520 00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,097 Just for this occasion. 521 00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:27,298 Ted, lights! 522 00:19:40,479 --> 00:19:43,814 ♪ What is this feelin' 523 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:46,284 ♪ that's put you in your place? ♪ 524 00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:53,291 ♪ A hot, red burnin' on the side of your face ♪ 525 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:57,295 ♪ You feel the blood rush to your cheek ♪ 526 00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,731 ♪ Tears start to fill your eyes ♪ 527 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,366 ♪ And your lips are tremblin' 528 00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:05,536 ♪ but you can't speak, you're tryin' ♪ 529 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,704 ♪ Oh, you're tryin' 530 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,640 ♪ not to cry! 531 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:13,878 ♪ Ya just got sla-apped ♪ ♪ oh, oh! 532 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,847 ♪ Across the face, my friend ♪ ♪ oh, oh, oh 533 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,516 ♪ you just got slapped 534 00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,418 ♪ whoa-oh-oh-oh! ♪ Yes, that really ♪ 535 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,753 ♪ Just happened 536 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:23,921 ♪ oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! 537 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:26,757 ♪ Everybody saw it 538 00:20:26,759 --> 00:20:30,561 ♪ and everybody laughed and clapped ♪ 539 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,330 ♪ It was awesome 540 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:35,166 ♪ wait, you just got... ♪ 541 00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:36,500 ♪ Slapped. 542 00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:51,582 Happy slapsgiving, everybody. 543 00:20:56,054 --> 00:20:58,256 Well, guys, have fun. 544 00:20:58,258 --> 00:21:00,625 Whoa, this is gonna be a major cleanup. 545 00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,126 Major cleanup. Major cleanup. Major cleanup. 546 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:03,928 Oh, man. 547 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,264 We're going to be doing this all the time now, aren't we? 548 00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:07,932 That's the general idea. 549 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,066 General idea. General idea. General idea. 550 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:10,701 Oh, god.