1 00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:03,135 Narrator: Kids, in the spring of 2008, 2 00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:04,937 Something kinda strange had been happening 3 00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:06,271 To your uncle barney. 4 00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:08,107 He'd be doing great with a woman... 5 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:10,109 So I throw the pressurized oxygen tank in his mouth, 6 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,710 I shoot the tank, boom! 7 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:12,978 No more shark. 8 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:15,614 Mr. Holland and I swim back to shore. 9 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,016 Let me freshen your drink. 10 00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,618 He'd only be gone a few moments, 11 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:20,853 But when he returned... 12 00:00:20,855 --> 00:00:21,787 So where were we? 13 00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:23,889 He'd get slapped. 14 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,457 It kept happening. 15 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:26,759 Jerk! 16 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:30,529 Until finally, lily was approached 17 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,064 By a mysterious woman 18 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,366 Who warned her to stay away from barney. 19 00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:36,668 So when it happened once more... 20 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,470 Again?! 21 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,372 Really?! Wait... 22 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,141 Barney knew who to look for. 23 00:00:59,759 --> 00:01:02,428 Hey, hey. 24 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:03,729 Hey, excuse me. 25 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,764 Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over? 26 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,566 No. 27 00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,803 What are you doing on Friday? 28 00:01:12,873 --> 00:01:14,039 Hey! 29 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,774 Uh... No. 30 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:16,875 Stop! 31 00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:20,913 Amy? 32 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:22,915 Abby. 33 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:26,151 Right. 34 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,901 Narrator: Kids, sometimes you can do something right 35 00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,570 A thousand times in a row... 36 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:46,738 A rainbow! 37 00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:49,441 That's beautiful! 38 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,476 What a beautiful 39 00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,044 Rainbow! 40 00:01:52,046 --> 00:01:55,447 Another rainbow? 41 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,282 It's beautiful! 42 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:59,985 But then, that thousand-and-first time... 43 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,620 You're kidding me. 44 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,456 Seriously, aren't you sick of these things? 45 00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:06,725 Uh-oh. 46 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:09,128 Hey, how was your day? 47 00:02:09,130 --> 00:02:12,397 Today, I yelled at a little girl for painting a rainbow. 48 00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,399 A rainbow? 49 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,400 Sounds like that bitch had it coming. 50 00:02:16,002 --> 00:02:18,637 Hey. 51 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,074 So, uh, I just met with the contractor. 52 00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,275 And it turns out, 53 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:25,177 That fixing the floors of the new apartment 54 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,012 Is going to cost a lot more than the estimate. 55 00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:29,581 But we can barely afford that to begin with. 56 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,483 I hate to say this, 57 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,253 But I think you're going to have to sell your stuff. 58 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:35,521 Whoa! Marshall, 59 00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,689 That's just a game we play in the bedroom. 60 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,591 I mean your clothes. 61 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,760 All those designer pieces and everything. 62 00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:42,694 What? 63 00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,962 Why just my clothes? 64 00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:45,430 We can sell my stuff, too, 65 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:46,932 But I got to tell you, 66 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,033 I think your marc jacobs cocktail dress 67 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,301 Is going to go for a lot more 68 00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,270 Than my "split happens" bowling shirt. 69 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:54,033 Dude.: I'm not selling that. 70 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,642 I've already made the website. 71 00:02:56,644 --> 00:02:58,043 You made a website? 72 00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,611 Yeah, it's called 73 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:03,682 "lily-and-marshall-sell- their-stuff-dot-com." 74 00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:07,219 No, you know what would be a better name for the site? 75 00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:11,356 Guy-forces-his-wife- to-dress-in-a-garbage-bag- 76 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:15,460 For-the-next- three-years-dot-com. 77 00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:16,728 Whoa. 78 00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,463 That's real. 79 00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:19,531 My word. 80 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,367 That woman is actually wearing a-a garbage bag. 81 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,902 Hmm, but, girlfriend, 82 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,371 You cannot pull off a tall kitchen. 83 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:29,541 Why are you trying to ruin my life? 84 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,344 Well, you slept with me and then you never called me again. 85 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:33,812 And? 86 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:34,814 That's it. 87 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,215 That's it? 88 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,549 As far as I'm concerned, 89 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,650 If I leave you safe on dry land 90 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,152 With adequate transportation home, 91 00:03:40,154 --> 00:03:41,153 You've got nothing to complain about. 92 00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:42,588 Well, it hurt, okay? 93 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,356 And then ted, the love of my life, 94 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,158 Started dating my boss instead of me. 95 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,392 Do you know how that feels? 96 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:51,096 Oh, boo-hoo, poor little ashley. 97 00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:53,065 Abby! Abby. 98 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,199 A few weeks ago, 99 00:03:54,201 --> 00:03:56,435 Ted dumped me as his wingman. 100 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,170 You had a crush on him for a couple weeks? 101 00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:00,672 I was ted's best friend for seven years. 102 00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,608 Ted said marshall was his best friend. 103 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,009 Seven years! 104 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,677 Sorry. 105 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,845 Ted. 106 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,046 What an idiot. 107 00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,948 With his stupid 108 00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,784 "meaningful relationship" with stella. 109 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:13,786 Ted. 110 00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,120 Ted. 111 00:04:15,122 --> 00:04:16,054 I hate ted. 112 00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,222 I hate ted more. 113 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,191 Are you as turned on as I am? 114 00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,560 Probably not quite as much. 115 00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,530 I'm sorry I yelled out "ted." 116 00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:28,367 I'm sorry I yelled out "abby." 117 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,869 I am abby. 118 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,871 Oh, cool. 119 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,473 This is insane. 120 00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:36,441 Has lily even worn half this stuff? 121 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,210 Oh, yeah, like there's nothing in your closet 122 00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:39,478 You've never worn? 123 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,246 As a matter of fact, no, there isn't. 124 00:04:41,248 --> 00:04:44,049 Whatever, red cowboy boots. Hey, 125 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,384 Those are nice boots. 126 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,918 I totally pull those off. 127 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,320 Hey, lil, 128 00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,454 If I were to say 129 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,590 "ted could never pull them off." 130 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,059 What would I be talking about? His red cowboy boots. 131 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,394 I totally pull them off! 132 00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:57,162 It's a classic western look. 133 00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:59,765 Oh, okay, uh, today's category: 134 00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:03,402 Classic westerns that involve red cowboy boots. 135 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,736 Ooh, ooh! Robin. 136 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,506 "The good, the bad, and the fabulous." 137 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:08,240 Ooh! 138 00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:10,976 "The magnificent kevin." 139 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,745 "no country for straight men." 140 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,450 I don't want to sell my clothes! 141 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:19,785 Oh, I know, sweetie. 142 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:20,919 Come here. 143 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,087 Yeah. 144 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,089 Mmm. Is this a hundred percent silk? 145 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:25,624 Lily, 146 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:27,459 Listen, we really need the money. 147 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,428 I have some leads on a job, but until then, 148 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:32,364 I just... I don't know what else we can do. 149 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:35,600 I'll sell my paintings! 150 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:36,935 What? 151 00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:38,670 Yeah, I'll sell my paintings. 152 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,640 Good oil paintings go for, like, $500. 153 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:42,607 Yeah. 154 00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:43,709 Totally. 155 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:46,712 Kids, sometimes you can do something right 156 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,780 A thousand times in a row... 157 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,048 I love it. 158 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,883 It's a masterpiece. 159 00:05:53,619 --> 00:05:55,620 That's it. We're selling the tv. 160 00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,222 I just want to come home and stare at this 161 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,291 All day. Aw. 162 00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:01,360 Somebody call the cops! 163 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:04,196 My wife stole an awesome painting from the museum! 164 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,630 Aw. 165 00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:09,334 But then, that thousand-and-first time... 166 00:06:09,336 --> 00:06:11,703 That kind of money only goes for real paintings. 167 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,138 Uh-oh. 168 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:15,307 What does that mean? 169 00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:17,809 Look, it just, it just means 170 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:19,711 That-that we need money right now 171 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:22,047 And I'm not sure that selling your paintings 172 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,415 Is-is how we're going to get it. 173 00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:25,717 You don't believe in me. 174 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,220 What? No, wait, wait! 175 00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,254 Of c... 176 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,822 Of course I believe in you! 177 00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,258 Marshall, I am proud of my work as an artist. 178 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,026 My paintings are good. 179 00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,995 I bet robin would buy one. 180 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,463 What now? 181 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,665 I love your painting, 182 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,734 I just... I'm trying to be realistic. 183 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,270 Well, how much money do we need 184 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:47,005 For the contractor to finish the job? 185 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,673 About 1,500 bucks. 186 00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:53,412 So, if I sell three of my paintings at 500 bucks a pop, 187 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,814 Then I get to keep all my clothes. 188 00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:58,216 We need money fast. 189 00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,684 Well, give me a week. 190 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:03,188 Okay, a-a week. 191 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,689 Fine. Fine. 192 00:07:04,691 --> 00:07:06,158 Fine. 193 00:07:16,969 --> 00:07:19,070 Pulling. 194 00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,272 Them. 195 00:07:20,274 --> 00:07:22,707 Off. 196 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:30,148 Lily's first move in the great art challenge of 2008 197 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,250 Was to display one of her favorite paintings 198 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,552 At her friend's gallery. 199 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,920 The night didn't go so well. 200 00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,154 ♪ I'm just a painter 201 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:37,923 ♪ I do my crappy art 202 00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:40,759 ♪ but I see what's in your eyes and I know... ♪ 203 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,994 But then at the last minute... 204 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,830 I love it. 205 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,998 Your top. It's gorgeous. 206 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,433 Is that 100% silk? 207 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:51,136 It's not for sale! My clothes are not for sale! 208 00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,604 So the next day, 209 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,439 Lily took her painting to a coffee house 210 00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:55,740 That displayed local artists. 211 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:57,909 We've been sitting here for hours 212 00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,345 And nobody's even glanced at my painting. 213 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:01,279 Come on. 214 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,914 Let's start talking it up. 215 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:04,282 Wow! 216 00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:07,018 I really like that painting! 217 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,587 It's neat! 218 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:11,423 The-the colors are neat. 219 00:08:11,425 --> 00:08:12,924 The-the shapes are neat. 220 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,926 It's really just... 221 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,728 Neat. 222 00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:18,597 What? 223 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,932 Observe. 224 00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:24,636 I think there's a dynamic quality to the brushwork 225 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,938 That, combined with the fluid composition, 226 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:30,442 Creates an almost kandinsky-like emotional resonance. 227 00:08:30,444 --> 00:08:33,945 Yes, and you can still enjoy it 228 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,114 Even if you're not a pretentious douche. 229 00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:39,851 Can you clarify something for me about your critique? 230 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,488 Are the colors "neat" or are they more "neato burrito?" 231 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,357 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 232 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,893 Uh, then again, red cowboy boots. 233 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:48,895 I pull these off! 234 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,230 I pull these off! 235 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,699 You know what I hate most about ted? 236 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,967 What? 237 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,869 His stupid hair. 238 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,539 His stupid, lame awesome hair. 239 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,942 It's so stupid and awesome. 240 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,312 You know what I hate most about ted? What? 241 00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:08,813 How he's always, like, 242 00:09:08,815 --> 00:09:11,650 "oh, I want to fall in love and have a relationship. 243 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,985 I care about the people I have sex with." 244 00:09:13,987 --> 00:09:15,353 He's so lame. 245 00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,556 He's so lame and awesome. 246 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,392 You know what he needs? 247 00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:21,359 He needs 248 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,194 To see just how horrible he is 249 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,763 When he's in a relationship. 250 00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:28,366 Yeah, and I need to show ted that I'm over him. 251 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,602 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 252 00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,537 I think so. 253 00:09:32,539 --> 00:09:35,106 You're thinking of having sex with ted? 254 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,911 After four days without selling a single painting, 255 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,346 Lily was getting desperate. 256 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,014 Painting for sale! 257 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,849 $500! 258 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:48,019 Lifelong dream hanging in the balance! 259 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,588 It's like 260 00:09:49,590 --> 00:09:51,690 They don't even see us. 261 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,858 Yeah, we're dirt to them. 262 00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,527 What do you need money for? 263 00:09:55,529 --> 00:09:57,696 Oh, I'm trying to fix the hardwood floors 264 00:09:57,698 --> 00:09:59,064 In my new apartment. 265 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,265 You? 266 00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,900 Heroin. 267 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:04,202 Oh. 268 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,137 Do you like heroin? 269 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,205 Love it. 270 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,873 In fact, if you sell that, 271 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,809 I'm going to take your money and go buy some more heroin. 272 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,946 Thanks for your honesty, crazy sock guy. 273 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,050 Oh, I'm never gonna sell this... 274 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:20,619 It's not very good. 275 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:24,255 And just as she was about to lose all hope, 276 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:27,058 Something amazing happened. 277 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,060 Oh, my god! 278 00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:29,961 Ha! 279 00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,062 500 bucks! 280 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,231 Who's a real painter now, marshall? 281 00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,400 Honey, I never said you weren't a real painter. 282 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,668 Oh, I know, sweetie. 283 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,638 And since I'm a professional artist now, 284 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,641 I'm going to sketch you an aldrin original, 285 00:10:42,643 --> 00:10:44,009 You know, to say thanks 286 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,910 For being such a supportive husband. 287 00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:48,013 I'm thinking about calling it... 288 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,614 "suck it!" 289 00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,449 Lily, come on. 290 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,484 I'm proud of you. 291 00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:53,585 Who-who bought it? 292 00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:55,120 Well, that's the best part. 293 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:57,155 A gay couple without kids. 294 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,590 A g-cwok! 295 00:10:58,592 --> 00:11:00,759 You bagged a g-cwok?! 296 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,093 Yeah, that's right. 297 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,529 They are the heart and soul of the art-buying community. 298 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:05,930 You know what you should do? 299 00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,465 You should call up the g-cwoks 300 00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:08,667 And offer them a free painting 301 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:09,834 If they throw a private art party 302 00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,202 For all their g-cwok friends. 303 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,270 That's an amazing idea. 304 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:14,105 I'm going to go call them. 305 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:17,442 : I can probably sell two more paintings with time to spare. 306 00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:18,677 Oh, wait, marshall. 307 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:20,378 There was something I had to tell you. 308 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,113 What was it? 309 00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:23,181 Oh, that's right. 310 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,916 Suck it. 311 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,124 Hey. 312 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,994 Ted, fancy bumping into you here. 313 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,630 Have you guys met my girlfriend abby? 314 00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:39,632 Uh, yeah. 315 00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:41,132 Hi, abby. Hello, 316 00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,534 Abby. So, uh, 317 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,235 S-so you guys are dating now? 318 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,237 That's right. 319 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:47,806 I am done with this whole being awesome thing. 320 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,741 Now I'm all about farmers' markets 321 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,677 And day hikes in matching khaki cargo shorts. 322 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,012 Isn't that right, sweetie? 323 00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:54,846 That's right. 324 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:56,181 Girlfriends are lame. 325 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,549 Unless they're me. 326 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,317 I miss you, ted. 327 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,019 Barney: Abby and I 328 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,587 Are in love. 329 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,656 Not hot passionate love. 330 00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:06,091 Couple love. 331 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:08,526 You know, movie night with my girlfriend, 332 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,161 Then waiting for her to go to bed 333 00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:13,198 So I can steal one pitiful moment of hollow ecstasy 334 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:16,234 By the cold, blue light of my computer monitor. 335 00:12:17,002 --> 00:12:19,370 We're showing ted how lame he is. 336 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:22,006 You don't have to say it, though. 337 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:25,043 Uh, okay, barney, you can stop. 338 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:25,844 Stop what, ted? 339 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,011 Stop being in love? 340 00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,546 Next he'll ask us to stop breathing. 341 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,916 We can't stop breathing, ted. 342 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,852 Your hair looks amazing. 343 00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:37,422 Um, barney, I, I see what you're doing. 344 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,690 Please stop. 345 00:12:38,692 --> 00:12:40,024 Not before I share with you 346 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:43,061 What being in a relationship leads to, ted. 347 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:43,762 Abby, 348 00:12:43,764 --> 00:12:45,930 Pookie bear... 349 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:49,934 I am so pathetically desperate for you that... 350 00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:53,271 Aw, heck, I'll just say it. 351 00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:57,075 Will you marry me? 352 00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,043 Wait, really? 353 00:12:59,045 --> 00:13:02,814 I would never joke about true love. 354 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,549 Yes, I'll marry you. 355 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:05,583 Okay. 356 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,621 Thank you, thank you. 357 00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,389 I have to call my mom. 358 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,392 That's you. 359 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:18,263 Uh, yeah, I don't think abby knows you're kidding. 360 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:19,898 Uh, yes, she does. 361 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,933 It finally happened, mama. 362 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,303 I just wish daddy were alive to walk me down the aisle. 363 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:28,807 Totally committed to the bit. 364 00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:30,608 Yes, lily aldrin. 365 00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,644 I sold you the painting earlier today. 366 00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:34,312 Oh, honey, hello. 367 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,814 You sound happy. 368 00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:37,916 Are you kidding? We're popping the champagne right now. 369 00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:41,820 Well, I just wanted to offer you an exclusive chance 370 00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,122 To view some of my other paintings. 371 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:48,159 Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, oh, I guess I should have told you. 372 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,495 We just bought that for the frame. 373 00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:51,796 What? 374 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,765 Yeah, it's an original anton kreutzer, 375 00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:55,767 A very rare frame from the turn of the century. 376 00:13:55,769 --> 00:13:59,604 So... Y-you didn't like my painting? 377 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:02,774 Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, no, not at all. 378 00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:04,142 But you know, 379 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,277 Good for you. 380 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,545 Okay. 381 00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,780 Wow. 382 00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:12,684 Well, if you didn't want the painting, can I... 383 00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,185 Can I at least get it back? 384 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:17,522 Yeah, no, we don't have it anymore. 385 00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,290 Where is it? 386 00:14:21,061 --> 00:14:23,695 I see. 387 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,964 H-he threw out my painting. 388 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,534 Champagne for everyone on me, 389 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:32,203 The happiest guy in the world. 390 00:14:34,506 --> 00:14:36,186 Ginger ale. It's a bit. 391 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:41,846 This is great. 392 00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:44,148 My dream of becoming an artist is dead, 393 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,484 And now I'm watching my wardrobe disappear 394 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:47,486 Piece by piece. 395 00:14:48,889 --> 00:14:51,589 There goes my favorite dress. 396 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,324 This dress meant a lot to me. 397 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,326 Really? 398 00:14:54,327 --> 00:15:00,632 It was spring of 2004 and I had been having a hard few months. 399 00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:04,936 Day-am. 400 00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:08,406 I got a two-syllable "damn" in this dress. 401 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,575 A two-syllable "damn." 402 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,844 That's the dream. Yeah. 403 00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:14,212 Now she belongs to... 404 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:19,117 Canadagirl@metronewsone.Com. 405 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,252 It's still in the family. 406 00:15:21,787 --> 00:15:22,854 Lily, 407 00:15:22,856 --> 00:15:24,722 You're not going to believe this. 408 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,557 Something amazing happened. What? 409 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,559 I went to the g-cwok's apartment. 410 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:29,961 Really? Why? 411 00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,496 Because I felt guilty. 412 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,431 This auction was my idea 413 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,066 And now you've had to sit around all day 414 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,602 While a bunch of vultures ruthlessly pick apart 415 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,537 The carcass of your wardrobe. 416 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,541 It's still in the family. 417 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:44,876 And more importantly, 418 00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:46,277 I honestly love that painting 419 00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,979 And I couldn't stand to think of it 420 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,881 In a trashcan someplace. 421 00:15:49,883 --> 00:15:51,382 Well, what happened? 422 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:53,885 Well, hello. 423 00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,720 Hi, um... Lawrence. 424 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,556 I-I'm here about the painting my wife lily sold you... 425 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,091 The one in the nice frame. 426 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,393 Talk about a nice frame. 427 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:04,395 My, my, you are a big one, aren't you? 428 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,431 And you're married to that little bit of a thing. 429 00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,732 How does that work? 430 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,001 I'd like to find out. 431 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,003 Yeah, we get it. 432 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,403 Gay guys like you. 433 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,139 No, lily, they love me, 434 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,741 But that's not the important part. 435 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,910 Here's the important part. 436 00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,078 Since you're clearly a man 437 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,846 Of impeccable taste and style, 438 00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:24,282 I-I came down here to ask you: 439 00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,517 What do you think of the boots? 440 00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,520 Walter. 441 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:33,725 Boots. 442 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:39,597 Pulling. 443 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:40,498 Them. 444 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,200 Off. 445 00:16:44,803 --> 00:16:47,605 I'll be in the cab. 446 00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,044 G-cwok-approved. 447 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,212 The painting. 448 00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,781 Right, so, um, they told me they threw it 449 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,116 In the building's dumpster. 450 00:16:58,118 --> 00:16:59,550 It wasn't in there, 451 00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:01,786 But the super told me that he'd seen one dr. Greer... 452 00:17:01,788 --> 00:17:03,955 A veterinarian who works in the building... 453 00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:05,323 Take the painting out of the trash. 454 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,457 Dr. Greer? 455 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:09,060 Who's dr. Greer a-and why did he take my painting? 456 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,362 You're about to find out. 457 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,999 Long story short, I had to make a trash run. 458 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:17,402 Been a busy day... Lots of neuterings. 459 00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:19,070 Ooh, we don't need the details. 460 00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:20,738 Oh, n-n-no, it's not what you think. 461 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,540 Oh, thank god. Yeah, yeah, yeah, mostly just dog testicles. 462 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,341 Anyway... 463 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:26,010 I noticed your painting 464 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,512 Just sitting right there on top 465 00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:30,681 And I thought, "hey, free painting," 466 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:33,051 So I brought it upstairs 467 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,053 And hung it up in exam room 3, 468 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,321 And then the strangest thing happened. 469 00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:40,691 Hey, muffin. 470 00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:44,195 Whoa, I think he remembers me 471 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,264 From the last time he was here. 472 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,000 Take muffin to exam room 3. 473 00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:50,401 I'll meet you there. 474 00:17:51,703 --> 00:17:54,572 I went in, expecting the worst. 475 00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:59,844 I'd never seen muffin that calm, 476 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,180 And then a little later the same thing happened again 477 00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,615 With tidbit... 478 00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:07,385 And king larry... 479 00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:10,822 And again with the weinstein triplets. 480 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:16,561 Something about your art speaks to the canine sensibility 481 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,296 On a very primal level. 482 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,230 Really? 483 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,698 Dogs like my paintings? 484 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:21,732 Yeah. 485 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,267 But you know who it bums out? 486 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:24,569 Birds. 487 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,636 Yeah. 488 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,138 Had a parrot in there today. 489 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,107 He took one look at it, pried open his cage, 490 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,642 Flew right into the ceiling fan. 491 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:37,548 Anyway, because your first painting worked so well, 492 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,884 I convinced dr. Greer to buy four more. 493 00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,886 Really? Mm-hmm, at $500 apiece. 494 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,554 That's two grand. 495 00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,456 That's more than we need for the contractor. 496 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,059 Yeah, but I was actually thinking we could reinvest it. 497 00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:49,927 In what? In you. 498 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:53,731 ♪ Don't give up on your dreams, boy ♪ 499 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,567 Narrator: Marshall explained that he was building a fancy new web site 500 00:18:56,569 --> 00:19:00,371 Specifically to sell lily's artwork to veterinarians. 501 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,275 Well, it's not exactly the clientele 502 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:05,476 I had in mind, but... 503 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,212 Thank you for believing in me. 504 00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:17,688 Man, birds do not get you. 505 00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,169 Hi, sweetie. Hey, 506 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,470 I think I left my tie here. Have you seen it? 507 00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:35,373 No, I'm in wedding-planning mode. 508 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:37,108 Stressville. Population: Me. 509 00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,509 Okay, big decision. 510 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,044 What do you think the cake should be: 511 00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,879 Fudgie the whale or cookie puss? 512 00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:44,115 Yeah, that was a bit. 513 00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:45,449 We were doing a bit. 514 00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,118 So I'm thinking labor day. 515 00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:48,786 I was going to say fourth of July, 516 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,389 But I didn't want to steal any attention away from america. 517 00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:56,961 Abby, I've... I've got some bad news. 518 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:59,997 I can't marry you. What? 519 00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,300 Ted begged me not to. 520 00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:03,901 I think he's in love with you. 521 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:07,638 Yes, our plan worked better than we ever dreamed. 522 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,874 You have to go to him. 523 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:12,243 Here's his home address. 524 00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,245 But you know what? He works late, 525 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,147 So I wouldn't go before 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. 526 00:20:16,149 --> 00:20:18,015 Oh, my god, thank you. 527 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,917 But now I feel wrong keeping this. 528 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,086 Oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that. 529 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:24,388 That's made of candy. 530 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,290 Later.