1
00:00:01,112 --> 00:00:02,340
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
2
00:00:02,446 --> 00:00:04,073
It's freezing out there. Where's your coat?
3
00:00:04,181 --> 00:00:07,877
Ted, I'm Canadian. I don't need a coat.
This kind of weather is nothing for me.
4
00:00:07,984 --> 00:00:10,316
Yeah. This is like a spring day
back in Minnesota,
5
00:00:10,420 --> 00:00:13,912
if it weren't for all the taxis
and the skyscrapers and non-white people.
6
00:00:14,024 --> 00:00:15,490
There aren't any black people
in Minnesota?
7
00:00:15,591 --> 00:00:17,582
Not if Prince is on tour.
8
00:00:17,606 --> 00:00:23,606
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com
9
00:00:30,805 --> 00:00:33,602
Well, my sister's plane got in an hour ago,
10
00:00:33,707 --> 00:00:37,803
or as a meteorologist might say,
"Hurricane Heather has just made landfall."
11
00:00:37,911 --> 00:00:39,845
Come on. She's not that bad.
12
00:00:39,946 --> 00:00:41,936
Here's the back of Heather's baseball card.
13
00:00:42,048 --> 00:00:44,539
It took her six years to graduate
from three different colleges,
14
00:00:44,650 --> 00:00:48,416
during which time she wrecked two cars,
got married for five days,
15
00:00:48,521 --> 00:00:49,919
and lived in a tree for nine weeks,
16
00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:52,512
only to realize that no one had
any intention of cutting it down.
17
00:00:52,624 --> 00:00:53,852
(LAUGHS)
18
00:00:53,958 --> 00:00:56,392
And now,
Heather says she's moving to New York.
19
00:00:56,494 --> 00:00:59,257
- Wow, that's big news.
- She's never gonna go through with it.
20
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:02,127
Remember a few years back when
she talked about transferring to NYU?
21
00:01:02,232 --> 00:01:04,598
And then,
on the day of the admissions interview...
22
00:01:05,302 --> 00:01:08,532
Heather? Where's my couch and my TV?
23
00:01:09,972 --> 00:01:13,032
I sold them for Nine Inch Nails tickets.
24
00:01:14,143 --> 00:01:15,633
The TV alone is worth two grand.
25
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:19,136
Well, a last-minute plane ticket
is expensive.
26
00:01:20,148 --> 00:01:22,912
- Wait. Where are you?
- Somewhere in Spain.
27
00:01:24,219 --> 00:01:26,618
Oh! Gotta go. Slow song.
28
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:30,245
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
29
00:01:30,357 --> 00:01:33,450
- Oh, crap. It's Barney.
- So?
30
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,085
For all the years
Heather's been visiting New York,
31
00:01:36,196 --> 00:01:39,188
- Ted's never let Barney meet her.
- And I never will.
32
00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,927
Every year when the Mosby family
Christmas card shows up...
33
00:01:43,602 --> 00:01:45,797
(SINGING) Pulling down her pants
34
00:01:45,904 --> 00:01:48,202
Yanking off my own
35
00:01:48,307 --> 00:01:51,707
Underneath the mistletoe
I'll make your sister moan
36
00:01:51,809 --> 00:01:55,245
Oh! Heather's hot, Heather's hot
We'll go all the way...
37
00:01:55,680 --> 00:02:00,013
(SINGING) I wish I could see her naked
I wish I could see her naked
38
00:02:00,117 --> 00:02:02,176
I wish I could see her naked
39
00:02:02,285 --> 00:02:04,276
And down on all fours
40
00:02:05,789 --> 00:02:08,985
(SINGING) Ted has a little sister
Gets hotter every day
41
00:02:09,091 --> 00:02:11,685
And if I ever meet her
with her boobies I will play
42
00:02:11,794 --> 00:02:14,524
Everybody! Sister, sister, sister, I...
43
00:02:15,431 --> 00:02:17,921
What? I can celebrate Hanukkah, too.
44
00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:19,222
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
45
00:02:19,334 --> 00:02:22,030
It's him again. I should probably get it.
46
00:02:22,137 --> 00:02:24,537
- Hey, Barney.
- BARNEY: Hey. What's on tap for tonight?
47
00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,801
Oh, we're heading over to Marshall and
Lily's for a Kathy Bates movie marathon,
48
00:02:27,908 --> 00:02:30,206
but not Misery. You want to join us?
49
00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:31,942
Oh! He hung up.
50
00:02:32,045 --> 00:02:33,012
(MARSHALL LAUGHING)
51
00:02:33,981 --> 00:02:35,743
- Hey.
- Hey.
52
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:39,810
- Hey.
- Hey. Great to see you.
53
00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:41,887
Hey, kiddo. You look great.
54
00:02:41,988 --> 00:02:45,286
- How are things back home?
- Well, I moved into your old room.
55
00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:46,448
Did you know that you can see
56
00:02:46,558 --> 00:02:48,583
straight into Mrs. Gottwald's bedroom
across the street?
57
00:02:48,693 --> 00:02:51,423
(LAUGHING) Oh, yes. I am aware of that.
58
00:02:51,530 --> 00:02:53,827
- How's she looking?
- Ted, she's 62.
59
00:02:53,931 --> 00:02:56,729
- Answer the question.
- Surprisingly perky.
60
00:02:57,001 --> 00:02:57,968
Mmm.
61
00:02:58,969 --> 00:03:02,927
HEATHER: Man, it is cold out there.
BARNEY: Why, hello.
62
00:03:05,041 --> 00:03:07,373
I've been waiting for you.
63
00:03:08,211 --> 00:03:12,442
Wait a second. That's not our chair.
Did you bring that chair yourself?
64
00:03:12,548 --> 00:03:14,675
I needed one that swivels.
65
00:03:17,319 --> 00:03:18,876
Heather Mosby.
66
00:03:20,321 --> 00:03:22,016
Barney. Stinson.
67
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:33,361
How did you even know
Heather was coming into town?
68
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,267
Never tell me anything.
69
00:03:35,368 --> 00:03:38,063
You know I can't keep secrets
around Christmas.
70
00:03:38,170 --> 00:03:40,365
Robin's giving you an iPod.
71
00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:45,032
Ted, can I chat with you for a sec
in the kitchen?
72
00:03:45,143 --> 00:03:47,737
No one touch the chair. It's a rental.
73
00:03:48,580 --> 00:03:51,572
I can't believe you've been hiding
your sister from me all these years.
74
00:03:51,683 --> 00:03:54,173
Do you blame me?
You're like Weird Al Yankovic
75
00:03:54,284 --> 00:03:58,015
if he only wrote Christmas songs
about banging my sister.
76
00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,222
Okay. First of all, I'm flattered.
77
00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:06,422
Secondly, they're just jokes.
A bro can joke about another bro's sister.
78
00:04:06,529 --> 00:04:08,929
It doesn't mean I'm ever gonna act on it.
79
00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:11,124
Look, I love my sister,
and as her older brother,
80
00:04:11,234 --> 00:04:13,963
it's my job to protect her
from guys like you.
81
00:04:14,069 --> 00:04:17,368
- You don't trust me, do you?
- No. And I don't trust her, either.
82
00:04:17,472 --> 00:04:18,837
Fine. Great.
83
00:04:19,975 --> 00:04:22,408
I guess I'll just take my chair and go.
84
00:04:27,481 --> 00:04:29,573
Wait. Stop. Come back.
85
00:04:31,618 --> 00:04:34,917
Lily and I are taking Heather out for dinner
on Sunday. Do you want to come?
86
00:04:35,021 --> 00:04:37,046
I already called Hurley's
and added a fourth.
87
00:04:37,156 --> 00:04:39,953
- You really can't tell Lily anything. Jeez.
- No, you can't tell her a thing.
88
00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:41,650
OLDER TED: That year, the holidays
89
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,751
were really making
Aunt Robin miss Canada,
90
00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:45,420
so Marshall brought her
to the spot he went
91
00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:49,295
whenever he got homesick for Minnesota.
The Walleye Saloon.
92
00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:50,560
Evening, everybody.
93
00:04:50,668 --> 00:04:51,999
- Marshall!
- Marshall!
94
00:04:52,103 --> 00:04:53,127
Meet Robin.
95
00:04:53,271 --> 00:04:54,295
- Robin!
- Robin!
96
00:04:54,405 --> 00:04:55,530
Go back to drinking.
97
00:04:55,639 --> 00:04:57,334
- Drinking!
- Drinking!
98
00:04:57,741 --> 00:05:00,301
- What's up, Marshall?
- Hey, what's up... Whoa, Bud!
99
00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:03,436
- What's with the hitch in your giddyup?
- I was playing some hockey today.
100
00:05:03,546 --> 00:05:05,672
- Tore up something in my knee.
- Did you go to the hospital?
101
00:05:05,781 --> 00:05:08,579
Nah. I just poured some beer on it.
Can't miss the Vikes game.
102
00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:11,551
- Twin Cities!
- Oh, yeah!
103
00:05:12,987 --> 00:05:18,425
I love the guys here. They're real men.
No hair products or manicures.
104
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:22,962
- All New York guys are like 10% girl.
- Well, come on. That seems a little unfair.
105
00:05:23,263 --> 00:05:26,528
I'll have the vichyssoise
with just a soupçon of crème fraîche.
106
00:05:26,633 --> 00:05:29,101
Too much dairy and I tend to bloat.
107
00:05:30,137 --> 00:05:33,435
So, I found an apartment today.
108
00:05:33,539 --> 00:05:34,767
- Really?
- Yeah.
109
00:05:34,874 --> 00:05:36,466
And I was hoping you'd have
110
00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:40,169
a little more wine in you
before I asked you this, but...
111
00:05:40,612 --> 00:05:42,910
I need you to co-sign the lease.
112
00:05:43,648 --> 00:05:44,615
Hmm.
113
00:05:45,350 --> 00:05:47,215
Let me think about it.
114
00:05:47,319 --> 00:05:49,616
(STAGE WHISPERING) That means
he's not going to do it.
115
00:05:50,287 --> 00:05:52,551
I could really use your help on this.
116
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:56,490
- Let's talk about this later, okay?
- Don't hold your breath.
117
00:05:57,060 --> 00:06:00,325
What is it? You don't trust me?
118
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:04,025
- You're my sister.
- Now he's just stating a fact.
119
00:06:04,767 --> 00:06:08,725
Look, Ted, I am serious
about a career in finance,
120
00:06:08,837 --> 00:06:11,635
but you just keep looking at me
like I'm a 4-year-old
121
00:06:11,740 --> 00:06:13,435
who says she wants to be an astronaut.
122
00:06:13,542 --> 00:06:14,803
I just don't think you have any idea
123
00:06:15,309 --> 00:06:16,776
how tough it is to make it in New York.
124
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:19,368
Exactly. You need connections.
125
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,779
If only Ted knew someone
who worked at, say,
126
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,045
Goliath National Bank, then... Wait.
127
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,444
What?
128
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:32,048
I work at Goliath National Bank.
How about that?
129
00:06:34,159 --> 00:06:35,285
All right.
130
00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:38,830
We got two Bemidji Pale Ales
and, who ordered the mini-burgers?
131
00:06:38,931 --> 00:06:40,523
- Me.
- All right.
132
00:06:40,832 --> 00:06:41,821
(ROBIN EX CLAIMING HAPPILY)
133
00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:42,900
Nice.
134
00:06:43,701 --> 00:06:46,363
- Oh, my God. Is that Fisherman's Quest?
- Mmm-hmm.
135
00:06:46,471 --> 00:06:50,600
- I used to play FQ all the time back home!
- Oh, yeah? I kind of have high score.
136
00:06:50,707 --> 00:06:55,542
Not to brag,
but I caught a 35-inch northern pike.
137
00:06:56,079 --> 00:06:59,013
The biggest video fish
anyone's ever reeled in.
138
00:06:59,115 --> 00:07:00,878
I mean, freshwater.
139
00:07:02,218 --> 00:07:04,778
A tip of the angler's cap, my friend.
140
00:07:05,354 --> 00:07:07,617
Thank you for bringing me here.
141
00:07:08,857 --> 00:07:10,381
Those are mine.
142
00:07:11,659 --> 00:07:16,220
This is not a good idea.
Heather and Barney, alone in his office?
143
00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:18,389
And I certainly don't want
to be on the hook for her lease.
144
00:07:18,499 --> 00:07:21,525
She is growing up.
You just can't see it yet.
145
00:07:21,635 --> 00:07:25,627
We're talking about a girl who was busted
for shoplifting eight months ago.
146
00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:29,333
Ted, a lot of women
go through a shoplifting phase.
147
00:07:29,442 --> 00:07:31,637
And sure, maybe to this day,
148
00:07:31,744 --> 00:07:33,836
they swipe the occasional smaller item
149
00:07:33,945 --> 00:07:38,143
because it turns them on in a weird way
that they can't quite explain.
150
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:42,811
But, if it'll make you feel better,
I'll tag along to GNB tomorrow.
151
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,820
I'll say I'm having lunch with Marshall,
152
00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:48,050
but actually,
I'll be spying on her and Barney.
153
00:07:48,159 --> 00:07:51,025
Okay. Okay, I'm good with that.
154
00:07:52,328 --> 00:07:55,263
Heather!
Heather, good luck tomorrow at GNB.
155
00:07:55,365 --> 00:07:58,596
- I'm sure you'll knock them dead.
- And I'll be spying on you guys.
156
00:07:58,701 --> 00:07:59,928
Damn it!
157
00:08:02,638 --> 00:08:06,870
"I'm drinking till I forget the
1999 NFC Championship"?
158
00:08:07,276 --> 00:08:08,572
That game.
159
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:11,335
The Vikings were two minutes away
from going to the Super Bowl,
160
00:08:11,446 --> 00:08:14,643
when our kicker, who hadn't missed
all year, shanked a field goal,
161
00:08:14,749 --> 00:08:16,944
and we lost in overtime. Damn!
162
00:08:17,651 --> 00:08:19,175
'99 NFC championship game?
163
00:08:19,286 --> 00:08:20,685
- Yeah.
- Damn!
164
00:08:22,189 --> 00:08:24,714
My dad,
who I'd never seen cry my whole life,
165
00:08:24,825 --> 00:08:26,451
wiped away a tear.
166
00:08:26,826 --> 00:08:30,387
He said, "A little part of me just died, son."
167
00:08:31,096 --> 00:08:35,589
Wow. I love how intense you guys are
about your Vikings.
168
00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:37,292
It's like when we watch
Hockey Night in Canada, when we...
169
00:08:37,402 --> 00:08:38,892
(SHUSHING)
170
00:08:40,371 --> 00:08:41,497
What?
171
00:08:41,606 --> 00:08:46,167
Don't let anyone in here know
that you're not from Minnesota.
172
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,766
Why? What are they gonna do
if they find out I'm from...
173
00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:49,368
(EX CLAIMING)
174
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,243
Does this look like a Dallas bar to you, pal?
175
00:08:51,348 --> 00:08:54,908
It's weird, but there's something
comforting about being carried like this.
176
00:08:55,017 --> 00:08:55,984
(MAN SCREAMS)
177
00:08:56,486 --> 00:08:57,680
(ALL CHEERING)
178
00:08:57,787 --> 00:08:59,880
- See you later, buddy!
- Right?
179
00:08:59,989 --> 00:09:05,187
Man, can you believe that guy?
So, Robin, where are you from?
180
00:09:07,028 --> 00:09:07,995
Uh...
181
00:09:09,965 --> 00:09:13,525
Bemidji. Bemidji, Minnesota.
182
00:09:13,834 --> 00:09:16,394
- Go Vikes!
- ALL: Yeah!
183
00:09:17,338 --> 00:09:20,238
OLDER TED: Kids, for what happened next,
I'm gonna jump ahead a couple days.
184
00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:24,174
- Wow! That is a pretty sweet briefcase.
- Hmm.
185
00:09:24,277 --> 00:09:26,575
That's a pretty sweet
security camera, too.
186
00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,112
Oh, and there's another one. And a guard.
187
00:09:29,214 --> 00:09:33,913
- I'm planning on paying for it, Ted.
- Yeah. Well, you don't have the job yet.
188
00:09:34,019 --> 00:09:37,419
That door's a push, not a pull.
There you go.
189
00:09:38,523 --> 00:09:40,684
Hey, thanks again
for keeping an eye on her yesterday.
190
00:09:40,791 --> 00:09:43,589
Look, maybe I was wrong. She sounds
like she handled Barney just fine.
191
00:09:43,694 --> 00:09:45,354
Maybe she'll be able to handle New York.
192
00:09:45,462 --> 00:09:47,157
(NERVOUSLY) No thanks necessary!
193
00:09:48,498 --> 00:09:50,022
- Why not?
- I have a secret.
194
00:09:50,133 --> 00:09:53,261
No, I don't. Nothing happened.
Something happened.
195
00:09:53,370 --> 00:09:55,360
- What happened?
- Nothing.
196
00:09:55,471 --> 00:09:58,929
After Heather's interview, I went to say hi
to Marshall for a few minutes,
197
00:09:59,475 --> 00:10:01,375
and when I came back...
198
00:10:02,111 --> 00:10:03,702
Oh, my God!
199
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:07,838
Lily, Lily, before you say or do anything,
I beg you one favor.
200
00:10:07,949 --> 00:10:10,247
- What?
- Get off that. It's Prada.
201
00:10:12,219 --> 00:10:15,518
- I am so sorry.
- I knew it. I knew it all along.
202
00:10:15,622 --> 00:10:18,557
She is still the same irresponsible
train wreck that she always was,
203
00:10:18,659 --> 00:10:21,149
- and when I see Barney...
- You won't say a word.
204
00:10:21,260 --> 00:10:23,524
Ted, Heather begged me not to tell you.
205
00:10:23,629 --> 00:10:26,655
She will hate my guts
if she knows that I blabbed.
206
00:10:26,766 --> 00:10:32,397
Oh, I love that briefcase,
but I can't afford it. You were right, Ted.
207
00:10:33,371 --> 00:10:37,239
- I certainly was.
- See? She didn't get the briefcase.
208
00:10:37,342 --> 00:10:38,899
That's responsible.
209
00:10:39,009 --> 00:10:42,501
And there's almost no way
she had sex with anyone in there.
210
00:10:42,613 --> 00:10:44,774
Turning over a new leaf.
211
00:10:50,219 --> 00:10:51,413
Evening, everybody!
212
00:10:51,521 --> 00:10:54,922
So my dad and I are at
the '99 NFC championship game.
213
00:10:55,724 --> 00:10:57,419
I say evening, everybody.
214
00:10:57,526 --> 00:10:59,517
And when we missed that field goal
and lost...
215
00:10:59,628 --> 00:11:02,563
- Damn!
- Damn! Damn.
216
00:11:04,099 --> 00:11:08,159
My dad,
who I had never seen cry in my entire life,
217
00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:11,396
wiped away a tear and said,
218
00:11:12,707 --> 00:11:15,869
- "A little part of me just died, son."
- Son?
219
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,177
Oh!
220
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:24,980
I told it the way I'm gonna tell my son.
If I'm ever lucky enough to have a son,
221
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:29,487
and name him Rashad Tarkenton.
222
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:33,587
- Robin, great story.
- Great story!
223
00:11:34,892 --> 00:11:39,828
- But it does sound a little bit familiar.
- I know. They totally ate it up.
224
00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:41,921
- I see what you're doing here.
- What?
225
00:11:42,032 --> 00:11:46,799
I brought you here as a favor
because I felt sorry for you, okay?
226
00:11:46,903 --> 00:11:49,336
And now it's like
you're trying to steal my bar.
227
00:11:49,438 --> 00:11:52,498
You think I'm trying to steal your bar?
228
00:11:52,608 --> 00:11:56,169
- Get out.
- "Get oot"? What, are you Canadian?
229
00:11:56,278 --> 00:11:58,768
- No, I...
- You want to impersonate a Canadian,
230
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,142
just turn off the lights
231
00:12:00,749 --> 00:12:02,478
and get all scared!
232
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:08,887
- What was that?
- Well, with Canada right across the border,
233
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:11,981
we Minnesotans sometimes
like to make jokes at your guys' expense,
234
00:12:12,092 --> 00:12:14,117
and they're all
sort of along the same theme.
235
00:12:14,228 --> 00:12:17,856
- That we're afraid of the dark?
- Yeah. For example.
236
00:12:17,964 --> 00:12:22,230
Hey, everyone, how many Canadians
does it take to change a light bulb?
237
00:12:23,069 --> 00:12:25,662
"What? Oh, no, the light bulb's out?
I'm scared!"
238
00:12:25,771 --> 00:12:27,033
(ALL LAUGHING)
239
00:12:27,906 --> 00:12:31,137
That is insane. Why do you think
that Canadians are afraid of the dark?
240
00:12:31,243 --> 00:12:33,176
Well, where does any prejudice
come from, Robin?
241
00:12:33,277 --> 00:12:36,212
A stereotype starts,
then all of a sudden it spreads like wildfire.
242
00:12:36,313 --> 00:12:38,645
Like Asians can't drive,
Scotsmen are cheap,
243
00:12:38,749 --> 00:12:41,239
Brazilians always put on
way too much postage.
244
00:12:41,351 --> 00:12:43,581
I just don't think
this is gonna work out, Robin.
245
00:12:43,687 --> 00:12:47,248
You can't be hanging out with people
who belittle your beloved homeland,
246
00:12:47,357 --> 00:12:51,486
- so I'll walk you out.
- No, wait, I have something to say.
247
00:12:53,228 --> 00:12:54,889
Hey, everybody.
248
00:12:54,997 --> 00:12:57,659
Let me tell you something
about people from Canada.
249
00:12:57,766 --> 00:13:00,495
- Hey, Robin, please don't make a scene.
- Shh!
250
00:13:01,135 --> 00:13:04,195
Do you know why Canadians
never get a birthday wish?
251
00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:06,773
Because they're too afraid
to blow out the candles.
252
00:13:06,874 --> 00:13:08,101
(ALL LAUGHING)
253
00:13:08,308 --> 00:13:09,275
(EX CLAIMS)
254
00:13:09,776 --> 00:13:11,937
Oh, God, I love it here. God.
255
00:13:13,714 --> 00:13:16,409
I think your prospects at GNB are good.
256
00:13:16,515 --> 00:13:19,143
You've certainly made it clear
you're willing to take any position.
257
00:13:19,251 --> 00:13:22,812
- Are these new coasters?
- Well, I hope you get the job.
258
00:13:22,922 --> 00:13:26,152
Nothing gives me more pleasure
than filling an opening.
259
00:13:26,257 --> 00:13:28,418
I swear to God these coasters are thicker.
260
00:13:28,526 --> 00:13:32,155
- Well, I am willing to bend over backwards.
- Okay, that's it.
261
00:13:32,263 --> 00:13:35,163
I cannot believe
you had sex with my sister.
262
00:13:35,599 --> 00:13:37,897
- You blabbed?
- Do you know what?
263
00:13:38,001 --> 00:13:41,095
This is a new batch of the old coasters.
264
00:13:41,205 --> 00:13:43,069
I'm just gonna confirm that
with the bartender.
265
00:13:43,172 --> 00:13:45,504
And you,
you're mature and responsible now?
266
00:13:45,608 --> 00:13:49,135
Is it mature and responsible to go to your
first big job interview in New York City
267
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,235
and nail a total stranger?
268
00:13:51,346 --> 00:13:52,973
You've always been
immature and irresponsible.
269
00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:55,242
You will always be
immature and irresponsible.
270
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:58,979
And I wouldn't co-sign
a library card for you, let alone a lease.
271
00:13:59,087 --> 00:14:01,714
- Barney and I didn't have sex.
- Save it. Lily saw you.
272
00:14:01,822 --> 00:14:03,119
Or did she?
273
00:14:03,557 --> 00:14:07,254
BARNEY: You see, Ted, you had so little
faith in Heather and me...
274
00:14:07,361 --> 00:14:10,261
HEA THER: We decided to give you
exactly what you expected of us.
275
00:14:10,363 --> 00:14:12,490
BARNEY: And I knew
we could count on Lily to blab.
276
00:14:12,599 --> 00:14:13,793
Oh, my God.
277
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:17,163
- What? Why would you do that?
- Because you deserved it.
278
00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:19,669
Ted, you know I'm no saint.
279
00:14:19,772 --> 00:14:24,141
And yes, it's true that time
I drove your mother to the airport...
280
00:14:24,243 --> 00:14:27,405
Well, let's just say
there was a very confusing,
281
00:14:27,512 --> 00:14:30,913
sexually charged moment
in short-term parking,
282
00:14:31,015 --> 00:14:35,508
but I said I would never go
near your sister, and I meant it.
283
00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:36,881
You should have trusted me.
284
00:14:36,987 --> 00:14:40,514
You're so convinced I'm still
some out-of-control teenager,
285
00:14:40,624 --> 00:14:43,491
you missed the fact I grew up.
286
00:14:43,593 --> 00:14:46,755
I'm gonna find a hotel.
I'll get my things later.
287
00:14:47,363 --> 00:14:48,921
Merry Christmas.
288
00:14:54,202 --> 00:14:56,136
Your mom and I kissed.
289
00:14:58,039 --> 00:15:00,803
Better get a move on. You've got five
seconds to catch two more sturgeon.
290
00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:03,637
Hey, we got a possible gill screen.
291
00:15:03,744 --> 00:15:06,577
Forget it.
You can't catch two fish with one hook.
292
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:13,482
No, but I can catch one fish
and use that fish to catch the other one.
293
00:15:13,986 --> 00:15:15,078
(ALL EX CLAIMING)
294
00:15:16,122 --> 00:15:18,647
High score! You beat Marshall!
295
00:15:19,858 --> 00:15:24,352
She's Canadian! Robin's Canadian!
296
00:15:25,497 --> 00:15:27,226
She's Canadian.
297
00:15:27,332 --> 00:15:30,926
She's not from Bemidji and she doesn't
know a darn thing about the Vikings.
298
00:15:31,035 --> 00:15:33,663
You're just mad 'cause she got high score.
299
00:15:33,771 --> 00:15:37,900
Robin, in the '99 NFC championship game
300
00:15:38,007 --> 00:15:39,872
- when the Vikings lost...
- Damn!
301
00:15:39,976 --> 00:15:41,307
Oh, damn!
302
00:15:42,345 --> 00:15:45,836
Who was the kicker
who missed the field goal?
303
00:15:46,982 --> 00:15:47,949
Uh...
304
00:15:49,718 --> 00:15:50,685
Uh...
305
00:15:53,322 --> 00:15:54,913
Rashad Tarkenton.
306
00:15:55,923 --> 00:15:56,890
(SIGHS)
307
00:15:57,692 --> 00:16:00,286
Gary Anderson.
308
00:16:00,394 --> 00:16:04,830
He's now retired.
Owns a fly-fishing business in Canada.
309
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,691
Goodbye, Robin.
310
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:20,503
No. You know what?
311
00:16:21,546 --> 00:16:26,381
I'm glad you found out
because I'm proud to be Canadian.
312
00:16:26,484 --> 00:16:30,977
We may not have a fancy NFL team
or Prince,
313
00:16:31,088 --> 00:16:35,081
but we invented Trivial Pursuit.
You're welcome, Earth!
314
00:16:36,393 --> 00:16:41,853
Plus in Canada, you can go
to an all-nude strip club and order alcohol.
315
00:16:41,964 --> 00:16:44,956
That's right.
From Moose Jaw to the Bay of Fundy,
316
00:16:45,067 --> 00:16:47,466
you can suck down a 20-ounce Pilsner
317
00:16:47,569 --> 00:16:51,505
while watching some coal miner's
daughter strip down to her pelt.
318
00:16:51,606 --> 00:16:52,834
Jealous?
319
00:16:53,942 --> 00:16:57,104
In Canada,
people don't care where you're from,
320
00:16:57,211 --> 00:17:00,374
as long as you're friendly
and maybe loan them a smoke
321
00:17:00,481 --> 00:17:02,244
or hand over a donut.
322
00:17:02,950 --> 00:17:06,316
I'm proud to be
from the Great White North.
323
00:17:06,419 --> 00:17:08,785
And I wish I was there right now.
324
00:17:11,491 --> 00:17:13,856
And we're not afraid of the dark.
325
00:17:15,761 --> 00:17:18,753
I mean, we don't love it, but who does?
326
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:31,731
TED: Merry Christmas.
327
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:34,769
- Ted...
- Look inside.
328
00:17:38,248 --> 00:17:41,478
You just... If you push it towards the...
Not down, towards the middle.
329
00:17:41,583 --> 00:17:43,949
- Don't need your help.
- Got it.
330
00:17:51,726 --> 00:17:55,355
- You signed the lease.
- Yeah. You know why?
331
00:17:56,364 --> 00:17:59,526
Because you trust me
and think it's a great idea?
332
00:17:59,633 --> 00:18:03,592
Because I want to get to know you.
The new you.
333
00:18:04,538 --> 00:18:05,698
Thanks.
334
00:18:06,939 --> 00:18:09,032
(BOTH EX CLAIMING)
335
00:18:10,109 --> 00:18:11,736
By the way, in your new neighborhood,
336
00:18:11,844 --> 00:18:15,335
you really should get
a good solid deadbolt for the door.
337
00:18:15,447 --> 00:18:18,245
If you want. To live.
338
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:24,743
Hey.
339
00:18:24,855 --> 00:18:26,254
- Hey. Hey.
- Hey.
340
00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:33,357
I'm so sorry for what happened back there.
I acted like a total jerk.
341
00:18:33,463 --> 00:18:37,194
- I shouldn't have said anything.
- No, look, I'm sorry.
342
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:40,996
That was your place.
I shouldn't have tried to make it mine.
343
00:18:41,103 --> 00:18:44,095
It's just every year at the holidays,
I get homesick.
344
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,697
And so far,
every year I've had a reason to stay.
345
00:18:46,808 --> 00:18:50,334
A boyfriend, a job, or something.
346
00:18:51,445 --> 00:18:54,278
But this year for the first time, I don't.
347
00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:57,714
- Yes, you do.
- What?
348
00:18:58,885 --> 00:19:01,080
We all love you, okay?
349
00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:03,683
If you ever moved back to Canada,
350
00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:06,486
we would hop on a plane,
we would track you down,
351
00:19:06,593 --> 00:19:10,028
and after Barney dragged us to a few
of those strip clubs you talked about...
352
00:19:10,129 --> 00:19:11,289
(LAUGHS)
353
00:19:11,397 --> 00:19:15,333
...we would bring you back right here
where you're supposed to be.
354
00:19:16,034 --> 00:19:19,333
It's not New York
without Robin Scherbatsky.
355
00:19:19,437 --> 00:19:20,904
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
356
00:19:22,573 --> 00:19:25,200
I just miss it there sometimes.
357
00:19:25,308 --> 00:19:29,745
I wish I could blink my eyes and be back
in Canada for an hour, you know?
358
00:19:31,081 --> 00:19:33,481
I was hoping you would say that.
359
00:19:34,683 --> 00:19:39,120
(SINGING) Once there was this girl who
360
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:42,883
Wouldn't go and change
with the girls in the change room
361
00:19:42,991 --> 00:19:44,720
How did you find this place?
362
00:19:44,826 --> 00:19:48,262
- Feels like home, right?
- There's one way to find out.
363
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:50,197
Oh!
364
00:19:50,365 --> 00:19:52,559
Well, sorry there. Didn't see you.
Are you okay?
365
00:19:52,666 --> 00:19:55,829
- I'm fine.
- Okay, sorry about that.
366
00:19:56,603 --> 00:19:58,161
Have a donut on the house.
367
00:19:58,272 --> 00:19:59,796
- Thanks.
- Okay.
368
00:20:00,973 --> 00:20:02,770
Okay, you bumped into him,
369
00:20:02,875 --> 00:20:05,742
and he apologized
and gave you a donut on the house?
370
00:20:05,845 --> 00:20:07,938
Oh, it's just like home.
371
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:10,038
(ALL SCREAMING)
372
00:20:10,148 --> 00:20:13,948
Sorry! It's gonna be fine! Sorry.
373
00:20:15,754 --> 00:20:17,584
- No one likes the dark.
- Mmm-hmm.
374
00:20:24,695 --> 00:20:28,357
Next up, from Ontario, Marshall Eriksen.
375
00:20:28,665 --> 00:20:30,565
I didn't know you signed up.
What are you gonna sing?
376
00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:32,157
Oh, I think you'll recognize it.
377
00:20:32,268 --> 00:20:35,998
(SINGING) That's okay
I'm going to rock your body anyway
378
00:20:36,105 --> 00:20:38,130
I'm going to rock your body
till Canada Day
379
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:40,470
Buddy, you can turn off the screen.
We know the lyrics.
380
00:20:40,576 --> 00:20:44,375
- Everybody come and play
- Everybody come and play
381
00:20:44,479 --> 00:20:48,381
- Throw every last care away
- Throw every last care away
382
00:20:48,483 --> 00:20:53,317
- Let's go to the mall today
- Let's go to the mall today