1
00:00:01,305 --> 00:00:05,036
<i>OLDER TED: Every architect can point to
that one design that changed their career.</i>

2
00:00:05,142 --> 00:00:07,906
<i>For me, it was around the time
of my 31st birthday.</i>

3
00:00:08,012 --> 00:00:12,176
<i>It wasn't a museum or a concert hall
or a skyscraper.</i>

4
00:00:12,583 --> 00:00:13,743
<i>It was something else.</i>

5
00:00:13,851 --> 00:00:17,651
We're opening a restaurant called
Rib Town, and we want it to be shaped...

6
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,187
Like a cowboy hat.

7
00:00:22,159 --> 00:00:24,593
Look, I need the work.
I don't have any other options.

8
00:00:24,695 --> 00:00:26,060
Well, there's always that teaching job.

9
00:00:26,163 --> 00:00:30,327
Yeah, I didn't work this hard to be stuck
in some crappy, dead-end teaching job.

10
00:00:30,434 --> 00:00:33,369
- No offense, Lily.
- I got peed on three times today.

11
00:00:33,471 --> 00:00:34,698
No arguments here.

12
00:00:34,804 --> 00:00:39,104
I just gotta nail this hat building,
so I'll see you all in three days.

13
00:00:39,809 --> 00:00:41,208
<i>OLDER TED: For the next three days,
I worked harder</i>

14
00:00:41,311 --> 00:00:44,212
<i>than I'd ever worked in my life.</i>

15
00:00:44,714 --> 00:00:47,706
<i>And I got nowhere.</i>

16
00:00:51,554 --> 00:00:55,513
- Hey, Ted, what're you doing?
- Designing a building shaped like a hat.

17
00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,559
- Now a good time to chat?
- No.

18
00:00:57,660 --> 00:01:01,858
- So, what do you think of Robin?
- Barney, I really need to get to work, so...

19
00:01:01,965 --> 00:01:04,832
Great. Say you and I went suit-shopping,

20
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:10,167
and you happened upon a beautiful suit,
a beautiful Canadian suit.

21
00:01:11,074 --> 00:01:12,063
Double-breasted.

22
00:01:12,175 --> 00:01:13,540
Mmm!

23
00:01:13,810 --> 00:01:16,904
You try it on,
but it's not exactly the right fit for you.

24
00:01:17,013 --> 00:01:19,675
So, you put it back. Then I try it on.

25
00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:22,042
I don't really want

26
00:01:22,151 --> 00:01:25,552
to take the same suit that you had
your eye on, but at the same time,

27
00:01:25,655 --> 00:01:27,919
I really like that suit.

28
00:01:29,425 --> 00:01:32,519
Buy the suit, Barney.
You clearly care about it.

29
00:01:32,829 --> 00:01:36,196
- Tell the suit how you feel.
- Okay.

30
00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:41,269
But, Ted, remember that
that was your answer because...

31
00:01:44,339 --> 00:01:45,966
The suit is Robin.

32
00:01:46,408 --> 00:01:47,375
I know!

33
00:01:47,476 --> 00:01:48,443
(MIMICKING EXPLOSION)

34
00:01:48,544 --> 00:01:49,841
Right?

35
00:01:50,412 --> 00:01:53,108
- I'm with you, buddy.
- You are now.

36
00:01:54,082 --> 00:01:56,880
- Because I explained it to you.
- What are you...

37
00:01:56,904 --> 00:02:02,904
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com

38
00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:15,660
Come on, dude, you've been at this
for three days without a break.

39
00:02:15,771 --> 00:02:18,262
Now, it's your birthday. Come up
to the roof and have a beer with me.

40
00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:22,139
No can do. Presentation is tomorrow.
Hat buildings don't design themselves.

41
00:02:22,244 --> 00:02:24,508
It's a rib joint for fat tourists.

42
00:02:24,613 --> 00:02:27,081
Just make sure the doors are wide
and the chairs are reinforced.

43
00:02:27,182 --> 00:02:30,208
Now, birthday beer on the roof. Let's go!

44
00:02:30,319 --> 00:02:32,344
Why do you want me to come up
to the roof so bad?

45
00:02:32,454 --> 00:02:34,046
What, are you throwing me
a surprise party?

46
00:02:34,156 --> 00:02:35,919
(SCOFFING) What? Come on.

47
00:02:36,024 --> 00:02:38,857
Ted, we threw you a surprise party
last year, okay?

48
00:02:38,961 --> 00:02:41,429
You don't get two surprise parties in a row.

49
00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:44,294
The fact that anyone showed up
to the first one was surprise enough.

50
00:02:44,399 --> 00:02:48,596
Right? Two surprise parties in a row!
That is rich!

51
00:02:48,703 --> 00:02:50,603
(LAUGHING) That is rich!

52
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:54,132
(LAUGHING) Classic! Classic...

53
00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:55,538
(WHISPERING) He still won't come up.

54
00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,610
(ALL EX CLAIMING IN DISAPPOINTMENT)

55
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:58,371
Come on. What the crap?

56
00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:01,471
I knew having a second surprise party
was a bad idea.

57
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:06,417
Yes, Robin, I know.
This party is... It's a disaster.

58
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:09,882
It was my idea. I take responsibility.

59
00:03:11,726 --> 00:03:14,889
And there's really only one thing
to do about it.

60
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:22,498
- Oh, Marshall, no.
- (SHOUTING) Lily, I have to do this!

61
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,037
(VOICE BREAKING) There's no point
in putting it off any longer.

62
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:27,869
<i>OLDER TED: I should explain.
You see, a few years earlier...</i>

63
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,074
No.

64
00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:34,306
Uh-uh. Forget it. This is so not pimped out.

65
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:36,981
If anything, this is pimped in.

66
00:03:38,219 --> 00:03:41,211
You know who knows how to live?
Those people.

67
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:44,951
<i>OLDER TED: Ah. The rooftop patio
one building over from ours.</i>

68
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:49,257
<i>Across a chasm of just six or seven feet
awaited a landscaped paradise.</i>

69
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:50,352
<i>And best of all...</i>

70
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:55,298
That looks to be one hot tub.

71
00:03:56,102 --> 00:03:58,935
Great. How do we get over there?
What are we gonna do? Jump?

72
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,597
(CHORTLING)

73
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,612
I can jump that far.

74
00:04:13,319 --> 00:04:16,288
Marshall, lately it takes you two tries
to get off the sofa.

75
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:18,016
You can't jump that far.

76
00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:21,321
- Oh, really?
- Really.

77
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,223
Watch me.

78
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:30,760
(INHALING)

79
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:31,837
<i>OLDER TED: But he didn't jump.</i>

80
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,910
- This actually is kind of nice.
- Right? Right?

81
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:41,243
(SOFTLY) Okay. Okay.

82
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:44,612
<i>And in the years that followed,
he kept almost jumping.</i>

83
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:45,810
Okay.

84
00:04:46,252 --> 00:04:47,446
Okay!

85
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,853
<i>But each time, without fail...</i>

86
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,595
(SHIVERING) Okay. Here we go.

87
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,027
<i>... he didn't jump.</i>

88
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:02,227
But don't worry.
'Cause if I can make this jump tonight,

89
00:05:02,334 --> 00:05:04,302
it's totally gonna save the party.

90
00:05:04,403 --> 00:05:07,770
- Honey, please get down from there.
- Lily!

91
00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:11,104
When Evel Knievel sat astride
his star-spangled rocket

92
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,178
on the rim of Snake River Canyon,

93
00:05:13,278 --> 00:05:16,509
do you think his wife said,
"Honey, get down from there"?

94
00:05:16,615 --> 00:05:22,451
For the last time, I am not Linda Knievel!
I will never be Linda Knievel!

95
00:05:23,989 --> 00:05:26,116
You don't need to remind me.

96
00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:38,501
Marshall, please, don't do this.
Please, don't jump.

97
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,572
I'm sorry, Lily, but I gotta do this.

98
00:05:40,672 --> 00:05:42,697
- You can't do this.
- Why?

99
00:05:43,408 --> 00:05:46,844
You want a reason? I'll give you a reason.

100
00:05:46,945 --> 00:05:48,378
I'm pregnant.

101
00:05:49,414 --> 00:05:52,508
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, really?

102
00:05:53,018 --> 00:05:55,953
Lily, I mean, I noticed that you gained
some weight lately, but I didn't...

103
00:05:56,054 --> 00:05:58,921
(GASPS) I was lying, you jerk!

104
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:02,526
Oh, go ahead and jump. I hope you die!

105
00:06:05,597 --> 00:06:07,427
That's all the permission I need.

106
00:06:12,904 --> 00:06:14,064
Listen, Robin.

107
00:06:14,172 --> 00:06:15,434
(SCRAPING)

108
00:06:19,110 --> 00:06:21,271
- There's something I have to tell you.
- But wait.

109
00:06:21,379 --> 00:06:23,973
Before you do,
I have to tell you something first.

110
00:06:25,883 --> 00:06:29,114
- What is it?
- I think I'm in love with you.

111
00:06:30,521 --> 00:06:31,488
(SCREAMS)

112
00:06:32,723 --> 00:06:33,951
(GOAT BLEATING)

113
00:06:38,362 --> 00:06:39,329
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

114
00:06:41,732 --> 00:06:45,600
- It's Ted. Everybody, shh!
- Shh! Shh!

115
00:06:45,937 --> 00:06:49,065
- Hey, Ted, what's up?
- It's here, Lily.

116
00:06:50,708 --> 00:06:52,699
It's looking at me.

117
00:06:53,244 --> 00:06:55,678
- What is?
- The goat.

118
00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:58,614
<i>OLDER TED: Now, I've told you
some of the story of the goat already.</i>

119
00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:02,319
<i>How Aunt Lily invited a local farmer
to come talk to her class,</i>

120
00:07:02,420 --> 00:07:03,853
<i>and how he brought a goat,</i>

121
00:07:03,955 --> 00:07:07,891
<i>and how he told the whole class what he
was gonna do to the goat later that day.</i>

122
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:10,256
<i>And how Aunt Lily, in a fit of mercy,</i>

123
00:07:10,361 --> 00:07:13,090
<i>bought the goat off the guy
in order to commute its sentence.</i>

124
00:07:13,597 --> 00:07:15,462
Lily, something amazing has happened.

125
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,693
I was talking to Robin,
I was all set to tell her how I feel,

126
00:07:18,802 --> 00:07:21,498
but before I could,
you'll never believe what she said.

127
00:07:22,138 --> 00:07:23,127
I think I'm in love with you.

128
00:07:23,306 --> 00:07:26,070
- Aw! What did you say?
- What do you think I said?

129
00:07:26,176 --> 00:07:28,110
What would anyone say
to something like that?

130
00:07:29,112 --> 00:07:32,912
Yeah, Robin, listen.

131
00:07:33,817 --> 00:07:35,079
You're great.

132
00:07:35,185 --> 00:07:38,712
I mean, you're really awesome,
but, I mean, we're friends.

133
00:07:38,855 --> 00:07:42,814
- It's probably a bad idea.
- I guess you're right.

134
00:07:44,995 --> 00:07:47,520
- Have a good party.
- (CHUCKLING) You, too, kiddo.

135
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,691
- What?
- It's like, as soon as she said that,

136
00:07:52,802 --> 00:07:55,464
no more feelings.
I'm not in love with her anymore.

137
00:07:55,572 --> 00:07:58,632
So, you've been in love with this girl
for the past year,

138
00:07:58,742 --> 00:08:01,609
and the second
she reciprocates those feelings,

139
00:08:01,711 --> 00:08:05,044
- just like that, you're over her.
- (HAPPILY) How great is that?

140
00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:16,152
No. No! This is a washcloth. Not food.

141
00:08:17,727 --> 00:08:18,694
(SIGHS)

142
00:08:27,937 --> 00:08:28,904
(SIGHS)

143
00:08:33,642 --> 00:08:34,700
What the...

144
00:08:35,010 --> 00:08:38,741
Okay. This is it.

145
00:08:39,949 --> 00:08:41,007
Here

146
00:08:41,116 --> 00:08:42,276
we

147
00:08:42,384 --> 00:08:43,351
go!

148
00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:46,686
This is it.

149
00:08:47,089 --> 00:08:49,580
Tracey, Tracey,
tell Lily what you just told me.

150
00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:53,150
- Um, that I just moved to New York?
- No, no, but tell her how you got here.

151
00:08:53,262 --> 00:08:54,957
I just got off the bus from lowa.

152
00:08:55,064 --> 00:08:58,431
(ENUNCIATING)
Just got off the bus from lowa!

153
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:03,068
How lucky is it that an aspiring dancer

154
00:09:03,605 --> 00:09:05,436
just off the bus from lowa

155
00:09:05,574 --> 00:09:09,738
runs into the producer of the Rockettes?

156
00:09:09,845 --> 00:09:12,473
I feel like I'm in one of those
classic show-biz stories.

157
00:09:12,581 --> 00:09:15,414
Oh, honey, you are. You really are.

158
00:09:16,285 --> 00:09:18,685
Hey, Tracey, why don't you make me
one of those rum and beers

159
00:09:18,787 --> 00:09:21,620
- that your dad loves so much?
- Sure thing.

160
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:22,746
(LAUGHING)

161
00:09:23,359 --> 00:09:25,384
- Damn it.
- What?

162
00:09:26,561 --> 00:09:30,156
Everybody always says,
"Don't tell Lily. Lily can't keep a secret."

163
00:09:30,264 --> 00:09:31,788
And, usually, they're right.

164
00:09:31,899 --> 00:09:34,333
But this time, I kept the secret.

165
00:09:34,702 --> 00:09:36,795
And then you come along with this crap

166
00:09:36,904 --> 00:09:41,170
and you force me to pull
an old classic Lily and spill the beans!

167
00:09:41,676 --> 00:09:43,507
What beans? There's beans?

168
00:09:43,611 --> 00:09:45,772
(SIGHS) There's beans.

169
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:47,907
The suit is Robin.

170
00:09:48,316 --> 00:09:49,283
I know!

171
00:09:49,384 --> 00:09:50,373
(MIMICKING EXPLOSION)

172
00:09:50,485 --> 00:09:51,782
Right?

173
00:09:52,387 --> 00:09:55,015
- I'm with you, buddy.
- You are now.

174
00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,558
- Because I explained it to you.
- What are you...

175
00:10:00,461 --> 00:10:02,053
BARNEY: There you go.

176
00:10:07,602 --> 00:10:08,899
(SIGHS) Oh, crap.

177
00:10:09,337 --> 00:10:11,669
- He said that? Oh, my God!
- Whoa!

178
00:10:11,773 --> 00:10:14,674
What a tremendous,
groundbreaking surprise!

179
00:10:14,776 --> 00:10:16,300
- How long have you known?
- Eight months.

180
00:10:16,411 --> 00:10:19,039
And you've kept it a secret since then?
Good for you.

181
00:10:19,147 --> 00:10:22,014
Yeah. Wow. Good for you, Lily.

182
00:10:22,116 --> 00:10:24,516
I mean, what a bombshell.
Who saw that coming?

183
00:10:24,619 --> 00:10:27,019
- How long have you known?
- Seven months, 29 days.

184
00:10:27,155 --> 00:10:31,888
- (SIGHS) What am I going to do?
- I don't know. What are you going to do?

185
00:10:32,592 --> 00:10:35,322
I'm going to marry Barney
in a big church wedding.

186
00:10:35,429 --> 00:10:37,397
And we're going to move
to some sleepy New Hampshire town

187
00:10:37,497 --> 00:10:38,657
and open a bed-and-breakfast.

188
00:10:38,765 --> 00:10:40,130
- Aw!
- Oh!

189
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:42,929
- Really?
- No! It's Barney!

190
00:10:43,236 --> 00:10:46,228
(IN MORE NEUTRAL VOICE)
I mean, it's Barney.

191
00:10:47,107 --> 00:10:50,270
But it's Barney. I gotta tell him no.

192
00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:53,672
Oh, man, you're going to break his...

193
00:10:53,947 --> 00:10:57,747
Whatever it is that pumps
that black sludge through his veins.

194
00:10:57,884 --> 00:10:59,351
Crap. You're right.

195
00:10:59,453 --> 00:11:03,651
The first time Barney expresses feelings
for a girl, and she rejects him?

196
00:11:03,757 --> 00:11:06,351
(SIGHS) And not just any girl. I mean...

197
00:11:07,461 --> 00:11:09,190
It will destroy him.

198
00:11:10,230 --> 00:11:12,323
Okay, well, first of all...

199
00:11:15,268 --> 00:11:16,235
(GRUNTS)

200
00:11:16,703 --> 00:11:19,001
Second of all,
there is a maneuver you can try.

201
00:11:19,106 --> 00:11:21,336
It's high-risk, but it's also high-reward.

202
00:11:21,441 --> 00:11:24,604
For lack of a better term, I'm going to call it

203
00:11:25,278 --> 00:11:27,109
- "The Mosby."
- The Mosby?

204
00:11:27,214 --> 00:11:29,205
No, she couldn't Mosby him.

205
00:11:29,316 --> 00:11:32,615
- She could Mosby the crap out of him.
- What's the Mosby?

206
00:11:32,719 --> 00:11:34,744
Robin, you remember
your first date with Ted?

207
00:11:34,855 --> 00:11:38,188
You wanted to hop on the T-train,
take a ride downtown.

208
00:11:38,291 --> 00:11:42,454
- I was ready to jump that turnstile.
- What changed all that?

209
00:11:43,696 --> 00:11:46,096
- I think I'm in love with you.
- What?

210
00:11:46,966 --> 00:11:49,662
Oh! The Mosby!

211
00:11:49,768 --> 00:11:51,998
- That is genius.
- Thank you.

212
00:11:52,104 --> 00:11:54,834
And, excuse me.

213
00:11:55,374 --> 00:11:56,341
(GRUNTS)

214
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:59,239
Oh, I mean, you're very pretty,
but you're freakishly tall,

215
00:11:59,345 --> 00:12:01,973
and you don't believe in ghosts.

216
00:12:02,615 --> 00:12:05,379
So, when she said she thinks
she's in love with me,

217
00:12:05,484 --> 00:12:08,647
- she meant the opposite.
- Exactly.

218
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:10,949
And look how well it worked.
You're back to normal.

219
00:12:11,056 --> 00:12:15,584
Yes. Yes, I am.
And it is great. It's awesome.

220
00:12:17,496 --> 00:12:20,158
- So, Robin's not in love with me.
- Nope.

221
00:12:21,534 --> 00:12:22,728
(WHINING) Why not?

222
00:12:26,105 --> 00:12:27,333
Mr. Goat?

223
00:12:42,922 --> 00:12:43,911
Mr. Goat?

224
00:12:44,023 --> 00:12:44,989
(BLEATING)

225
00:12:46,090 --> 00:12:47,955
Okay. That's it.

226
00:12:51,262 --> 00:12:52,752
Stupid goat.

227
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:56,928
I do not understand your fascination
with this washcloth.

228
00:12:57,035 --> 00:12:59,094
I guess that's what happens
when you have a brain the size of a...

229
00:12:59,204 --> 00:13:00,296
(SCREAMING)

230
00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:01,804
No! No! No!

231
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:09,012
(PANTING) Okay. Okay. Okay.

232
00:13:09,113 --> 00:13:10,876
Marshall, can you just go get Ted?

233
00:13:10,982 --> 00:13:14,440
(ENUNCIATING) Lily,
I was just about to jump.

234
00:13:14,552 --> 00:13:17,385
Didn't you hear me saying "Okay"
over and over again?

235
00:13:17,488 --> 00:13:20,685
- I'm sorry. Go ahead and jump.
- (SIGHS) No, it's fine.

236
00:13:20,792 --> 00:13:24,091
Sorry, everybody. Lily won't let me jump.

237
00:13:24,195 --> 00:13:25,219
(ALL GROANING DISAPPOINTEDLY)

238
00:13:25,330 --> 00:13:26,456
Yeah.

239
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,258
(WHIMPERING) Thank God.

240
00:13:41,045 --> 00:13:42,034
(GASPS)

241
00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:43,113
Hospital!

242
00:13:45,216 --> 00:13:47,047
What happened, exactly?

243
00:13:47,819 --> 00:13:49,013
What happened

244
00:13:49,487 --> 00:13:53,479
is you let a freaking wild animal
into our apartment.

245
00:13:53,590 --> 00:13:55,023
I was savaged.

246
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:59,061
That is the sweetest,
cutest little goat in the whole world.

247
00:13:59,162 --> 00:14:02,825
Sweetest, cutest little goat
in the whole world?

248
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,692
<i>OLDER TED: I was pretty
sleep-deprived at this point,</i>

249
00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:06,735
<i>so this probably isn't how
it really happened,</i>

250
00:14:06,837 --> 00:14:08,065
<i>but here's how I remember it.</i>

251
00:14:10,107 --> 00:14:11,074
(BLEATING)

252
00:14:18,815 --> 00:14:19,782
(GOAT GRUNTS)

253
00:14:24,187 --> 00:14:25,347
(CHOKING)

254
00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:29,615
So, you're the guy
who tried to make it with a goat?

255
00:14:30,827 --> 00:14:32,988
Hey, if anything,
that goat tried to make it with me.

256
00:14:33,096 --> 00:14:34,120
(BARNEY STIFLING LAUGHTER)

257
00:14:34,231 --> 00:14:36,461
- Can I go, please?
- Sure, you can go.

258
00:14:36,566 --> 00:14:39,433
But remember, buddy, "baa" means "baa."

259
00:14:39,703 --> 00:14:42,137
(LAUGHING)

260
00:14:42,939 --> 00:14:46,102
Great. Great. Now I'm going to be late
for my presentation.

261
00:14:46,209 --> 00:14:47,642
Thanks a lot, Mr. Goat.

262
00:14:47,744 --> 00:14:50,508
(CHUCKLES) Mr. Goat?
Ted, that goat's a girl.

263
00:14:50,881 --> 00:14:53,850
- Her name's Missy.
- You got beat up by a girl.

264
00:14:59,055 --> 00:15:00,022
(LAUGHING)

265
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:04,225
- So. You're in love with me.
- What?

266
00:15:04,327 --> 00:15:05,851
Oh, yeah. Very much.

267
00:15:06,829 --> 00:15:09,161
Okay, you can knock it off. Lily told me.

268
00:15:09,265 --> 00:15:12,792
- Oh, damn it, Lily!
- I can't believe you would do that.

269
00:15:13,035 --> 00:15:16,436
(SIGHS) It's just...
Like, I care about you, Barney.

270
00:15:16,539 --> 00:15:19,906
And this kind of stuff, the emotional stuff?

271
00:15:20,409 --> 00:15:23,435
It's not your thing.
I thought I'd save you the trouble.

272
00:15:23,546 --> 00:15:25,810
Maybe I don't want to be saved the trouble.

273
00:15:25,915 --> 00:15:27,883
Maybe I want the trouble.

274
00:15:28,351 --> 00:15:30,410
I haven't wanted the trouble in a long time.

275
00:15:30,519 --> 00:15:32,646
But with you, the trouble doesn't seem so

276
00:15:33,823 --> 00:15:34,790
troubling.

277
00:15:36,359 --> 00:15:38,384
I don't know. I thought...

278
00:15:38,961 --> 00:15:40,758
I guess I thought you felt the same way.

279
00:15:42,331 --> 00:15:43,821
Maybe I do.

280
00:15:44,467 --> 00:15:45,991
(SIGHS) I don't know.

281
00:15:46,335 --> 00:15:49,702
I'm not exactly the biggest
confronter of feelings.

282
00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:53,508
I mean, clearly,
there's something between us.

283
00:15:54,009 --> 00:15:56,534
Maybe my head was saying,
"Nip it in the bud,"

284
00:15:56,645 --> 00:16:00,411
because my heart was
saying something else.

285
00:16:02,351 --> 00:16:05,717
Look, I have feelings for you, Barney.

286
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:06,787
(SIGHS)

287
00:16:07,188 --> 00:16:08,951
Maybe I even love you.

288
00:16:09,057 --> 00:16:11,548
Whoa! This is going pretty fast,
don't you think?

289
00:16:11,659 --> 00:16:14,457
- What?
- We have a really good friendship going.

290
00:16:14,562 --> 00:16:17,759
Why screw up a good thing? Friends?

291
00:16:18,867 --> 00:16:20,061
Friends.

292
00:16:21,069 --> 00:16:23,401
Oh, my God. You just did it again.
You just Mosby'd me.

293
00:16:23,505 --> 00:16:25,735
- I did not!
- You did. You little minx.

294
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:28,070
(SIGHING) Okay, you're right.
I did just Mosby you.

295
00:16:28,176 --> 00:16:30,110
Why are you so afraid
of giving this a chance?

296
00:16:30,211 --> 00:16:33,009
Because I am scared
of how much I like you.

297
00:16:33,114 --> 00:16:36,311
- Whoa! This is a bad idea.
- You're right. This is a mistake.

298
00:16:36,418 --> 00:16:38,181
- Yes. No.
- I love you.

299
00:16:38,286 --> 00:16:40,015
- Let's be friends.
- Okay. Friends, then.

300
00:16:40,121 --> 00:16:41,486
- I love you.
- Let's get married.

301
00:16:41,589 --> 00:16:43,580
- No, you're smothering me.
- Okay, forget it.

302
00:16:43,691 --> 00:16:44,749
(BOTH EX CLAIMING IN FRUSTRATION)

303
00:16:49,864 --> 00:16:51,058
You know what? We can sort this out later.

304
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:53,691
- Yeah. That sounds good.
- That sounds good. Let's go.

305
00:16:55,403 --> 00:16:57,462
<i>OLDER TED: It had been a long
and crazy night,</i>

306
00:16:57,572 --> 00:16:59,563
<i>but that morning, against all odds,</i>

307
00:17:00,008 --> 00:17:01,441
<i>I made it to my presentation.</i>

308
00:17:01,543 --> 00:17:05,741
Here you have it, gentlemen.
Rib Town. Right?

309
00:17:06,247 --> 00:17:09,444
- (CHUCKLING) Right?
- (EQUIVOCALLY) Yeah.

310
00:17:10,617 --> 00:17:16,419
Ted, listen. You're great,
and you've done a real special job here.

311
00:17:16,523 --> 00:17:20,152
And you're going to make some
other restaurant very happy someday,

312
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:25,288
but we have decided to go
another direction here.

313
00:17:25,866 --> 00:17:28,994
- What?
- Feast your eyes on

314
00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:32,270
- Rib Town!
- Rib Town!

315
00:17:32,372 --> 00:17:34,033
(BOTH LAUGHING)

316
00:17:34,775 --> 00:17:35,935
Sven.

317
00:17:39,379 --> 00:17:42,212
I'll tell you one thing.
I'm never eating ribs again.

318
00:17:42,316 --> 00:17:43,681
(SNORTS) Yeah, right.

319
00:17:44,485 --> 00:17:48,649
(EMPHATICALLY) I am never
eating ribs again!

320
00:17:50,257 --> 00:17:51,849
In front of Ted!

321
00:17:52,559 --> 00:17:55,824
This is a disaster.
How am I going to come back from this?

322
00:17:57,397 --> 00:17:59,490
Okay, I'm just going to ask this.

323
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,761
Do you really want to come back from this?

324
00:18:01,869 --> 00:18:05,305
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Architecture is killing you, Ted,

325
00:18:05,405 --> 00:18:08,374
and it's killing us to watch it killing you.

326
00:18:08,475 --> 00:18:12,536
You're like that goat with the washcloth.
You want it so bad,

327
00:18:12,646 --> 00:18:14,944
and every time the world
tries to take it away from you,

328
00:18:15,048 --> 00:18:17,743
you keep grabbing it. But you know what?

329
00:18:17,850 --> 00:18:20,876
It's just a washcloth.
Why do you even want it?

330
00:18:21,254 --> 00:18:24,519
Because I have to be an architect. That's...

331
00:18:25,525 --> 00:18:26,492
That's the plan.

332
00:18:26,592 --> 00:18:30,289
Oh, screw the plan.
I planned on being a famous artist.

333
00:18:30,396 --> 00:18:32,887
Marshall planned on being
an environmental lawyer.

334
00:18:32,999 --> 00:18:35,559
Robin planned on being a TV reporter.

335
00:18:35,668 --> 00:18:40,298
Uh, I am a TV reporter.
I'm on every morning at 4:00 a.m.

336
00:18:40,406 --> 00:18:43,000
Is that still on? Good for you.

337
00:18:43,109 --> 00:18:45,475
Okay, somebody watch it, please.

338
00:18:45,578 --> 00:18:47,637
Barney planned on being a violinist.

339
00:18:47,747 --> 00:18:50,307
- Lily?
- Don't tell me things.

340
00:18:50,416 --> 00:18:54,147
Look, you can't design your life
like a building.

341
00:18:54,253 --> 00:18:59,156
It doesn't work that way. You just have to
live it, and it will design itself.

342
00:18:59,492 --> 00:19:01,517
So, what, I should just do nothing?

343
00:19:01,627 --> 00:19:06,257
No. Listen to what the world
is telling you to do and take the leap.

344
00:19:14,674 --> 00:19:15,800
You're right.

345
00:19:16,409 --> 00:19:17,933
You're absolutely right.

346
00:19:19,612 --> 00:19:21,204
(VOICE BREAKING) I love you, Lily.

347
00:19:21,747 --> 00:19:26,240
Oh, no. Metaphorical leap.
Metaphorical leap!

348
00:19:27,118 --> 00:19:29,586
BARNEY: Not cool. Not cool.
LILY: Don't do it. Don't do it. No!

349
00:19:29,688 --> 00:19:30,814
ROBIN: Oh, God.

350
00:19:30,922 --> 00:19:32,048
(ALL SCREAMING)

351
00:19:38,296 --> 00:19:40,594
- I did it!
- Baby, you did it.

352
00:19:40,699 --> 00:19:43,395
- I can do anything!
- Yes, you can.

353
00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:46,334
- I'm getting a motorcycle!
- You absolutely are not!

354
00:19:46,438 --> 00:19:48,429
Okay, sorry. Guys, come on over.

355
00:20:25,744 --> 00:20:28,406
<i>OLDER TED: That was the year
I got left at the altar.</i>

356
00:20:28,513 --> 00:20:31,310
<i>It was the year I got knocked out
by a crazy bartender.</i>

357
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:33,577
<i>The year I got fired.</i>

358
00:20:34,184 --> 00:20:35,845
<i>The year I got beat up by a goat.</i>

359
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,787
<i>A girl goat, at that.</i>

360
00:20:38,756 --> 00:20:41,554
<i>And damn it
if it wasn't the best year of my life.</i>

361
00:20:46,296 --> 00:20:48,924
<i>Because, if any one of those things
hadn't happened,</i>

362
00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:53,231
<i>I never would have ended up in what
turned out to be the best job I ever had.</i>

363
00:20:53,337 --> 00:20:56,829
<i>But more importantly,
I wouldn't have met your mother,</i>

364
00:20:58,075 --> 00:21:01,636
<i>because, as you know,
she was in that class.</i>

365
00:21:02,980 --> 00:21:05,972
<i>Of course, that story's only just beginning.</i>