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ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com

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OLDER TED: <i>Kids, on my first day</i>
<i>as a college professor,</i>

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<i>there were two things I didn't know</i>
<i>that I wish I did.</i>

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<i>The first thing was</i>
<i>that your mother was in that classroom.</i>

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<i>The second thing?</i>

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<i>Well, to explain that, we have to go back</i>
<i>to the beginning of the summer,</i>

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<i>when, after a year of wrestling</i>
<i>with their feelings for each other,</i>

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<i>Barney and Robin finally, well...</i>

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Whoo!

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- Lily, volume. Use your indoor "whoo."
- Sorry. (SOFTLY) Whoo.

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It's just they kissed!
They're finally a couple.

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(GASPING) Oh, my God, you guys.
This is our first double date!

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First of millions!
What if our kids get married?

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- Oh, I love this!
- Yeah.

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- Lily, listen.
- Barney's awesome.

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Robin's more than just awe "some."
She's awe "quite a bit."

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She's awe "a whole darn lot."

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Wait, what are you saying?

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(BARNEY MUTTERING)

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We're just not feeling it right now,
but we'll totally still be friends.

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Oh, yeah.

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Is it something I did?

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Oh, no. No, no, no. God, no.
Lily, it's not you. It's us.

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Yeah. It's us. You understand, right?

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Sure, of course.

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As long as you're happy, I'm happy.

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(CRYING)

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We were gonna take
cooking lessons together,

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and we were gonna go
on camping trips together,

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and then we were gonna sit around
telling funny stories

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about our cooking lessons
and our camping trips.

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I know. I know.

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So, has the boat sailed on sex tonight or...

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OLDER TED: <i>After that,</i>
<i>the summer went by way too fast.</i>

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<i>Until, all of a sudden, it was the Friday</i>
<i>before my first day as a college professor.</i>

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Whoa!

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- Oh, boy.
- What's this?

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It's just a little something
that we got for you

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that used to belong
to my favorite professor of all time.

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- A fedora.
- Mmm.

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(GASPS)

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I'm Indiana Jones! I'm Indiana Jones!

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That, my friend, is the Dominator 8000,

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the best bullwhip on the market,
according to my whip guy.

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Yeah, I have a whip guy.

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(IMITATES WHIP CRACKING)

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You know what we should do?
We should...

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Finish our drinks,
go out in the alley and whip stuff.

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God, you just get me.

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(MARSHALL SIGHS)

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(LAUGHING) Okay, I should get going.
I got a date.

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BARNEY: Oh, you're still seeing that guy?

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Even better, seeing him naked. What!

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(BOTH EX CLAIM)

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I should go, too. I hooked up
with this Chinese girl last night,

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and I don't know, it's weird.
I already feel like seconds.

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(BOTH EX CLAIM)

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Okay, Ted, you got first whip!

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All right.

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Hey, dummy.
What did I tell you about smoking in here?

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Make him whip the habit!

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I'm so excited about this whip!
I got whip fever!

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Just whip him, Ted! Don't even aim!
Just whip him!

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- I'm so sorry.
- It's just the whip's not a toy, Ted.

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There's such a thing as common sense,
you know?

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- Hey, you can whip me if you want.
- I will, some other time.

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(WHOOPS)

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So, how long has this been going on?

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- (SIGHING) All summer.
- I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

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You guys are boyfriend and girlfriend.

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- (STAMMERING) Hey. Wait... Girlfriend?
- (STAMMERING) Wow...

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- Lily, slow your roll there, lily pad. Okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.

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You've been together all summer.
I don't get it.

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Okay, it's like this. After we kissed,
we sat down to have the talk.

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- We should figure out what this is.
- Yes, we should.

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- Yeah.
- Or... Or...

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- Okay, now, we have to figure this out.
- (BREATHING HEAVILY) Yes, we do.

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Or... Or...

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We kept trying to have the talk
and then we realized we hate the talk.

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Yeah, the talk sucks.
You have to, like, talk,

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(ROBIN SCOFFS)

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and be all, " I don't know.
It's not that I don't like you.

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"It's just that I haven't had a girlfriend
in a really long time.

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"I hope it doesn't make you mad."

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- (GROANS IN DISGUST) Who needs it?
- You "needs" it.

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Guys, you can't just keep hooking up

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and not at least try and figure out
what you mean to each other.

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Yeah, we knew you would say that.
That's why we kept it a secret.

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Well, that and the fact
that elaborate lies really turn us on.

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No, no, no. No.

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You need to define the relationship.
You need to have the talk.

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Or... Or...

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(BOTH MOANING)

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I know what you're all thinking.

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"Who's this cool peer of mine
up in front of the class?"

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Well, I know the board says
"Professor Mosby," but to you,

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I'm Ted.

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Question. Awesome. Hit it.

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Yeah, here's my question, Ted,
who the hell do you think you are?

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Yeah, "Ted."

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We're supposed to learn from you?
You failed as an architect.

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- Well...
- And if you're a professor,

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- where's your hat and your whip?
- They're at home. I...

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And where are your pants?

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(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

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(EX CLAIMING)

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(PANTING) Oh, God. Barney, it was awful.
I was teaching...

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Shh! Ted, now's not a good time.
Where do you keep your condoms?

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I am freaking out.
I don't think I can do this.

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Okay, look, mistake number one
was taking that girl's question.

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You don't take questions on the first day.
It shows weakness.

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Mistake number two was
you should've hit that.

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Dude, your pants were already off,

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you had a classroom full of people
to cheer you on

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and you can't knock her up
'cause it's a dream.

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Class dismissed.

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Mistake number three,
dude, where was the hat?

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Because if you're not going to wear it,
I'm taking it back.

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I think what Barney's saying
is that definitions are important.

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- You're their teacher, not their friend.
- Exactly.

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If people don't know their place,
nobody's happy.

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Amen.

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- You have to make things clear.
- Run, tell that!

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- Define the relationship.
- Yes! No!

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Lily, private convo time.

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- Lily, can't you just let us be happy?
- You're not happy.

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You just think you're happy
because you feel happy.

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- And that's not happy?
- Of course not.

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You and Robin need to have the talk.

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- Why? Give me one good reason.
- I'll give you 20.

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Wow, you can't even think of one.
Headlights. Deer.

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Lily, for the last time,

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things with me and Robin
are as good as they can possibly be.

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Hey, look, Brad's here.

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I've got two tickets to the
Rangers-Canucks game tomorrow night.

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I know you're a hockey fan,
so I was thinking...

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(STAMMERING)

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What do I have to do?
Put a gun to your head?

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- Buy you a six-pack?
- Come on, Brad, that's...

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Wow, there's really six of them.

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- Uh, but I can't.
- Why not? You have a boyfriend?

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- No. No, no boyfriend.
- BRAD: Great! It's a date.

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- Hey, Barn.
- Hey...

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I just thought of a reason.

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OLDER TED: <i>The next night,</i>
<i>Robin and Brad went to a hockey game.</i>

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You're probably wondering
why I've been quiet all night.

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Um...

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Damn it, Hordichuk!
You miss another gimme like that,

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I'm gonna come down there
and put a slapper right up your beerhole!

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Come on!

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Not really.

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The truth is, I feel kind of weird
being out with you.

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Oh, man.

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- Is this the talk?
- What?

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No, this is good.
Let's get it all out of the way.

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- Robin, I'm looking for something serious.
- No, Brad, no, it's...

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But before we go any further,

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you should know something
about my stuff below the belt.

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- I was born a little different.
- God, no. Brad, no.

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- This is about me and Barney.
- You and...

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- Oh! So, you guys are...
- Well, we don't know what we are.

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I mean, my heart says, "Leap into it."
My brain says, "It's a bad idea."

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Sounds like you guys need to
have the talk.

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We're not gonna have the talk!

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Would you just have the talk, okay?

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It's a five-minute conversation,
and then you get to have sex afterwards.

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It's great! Back me up, Ted.

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- I don't think the talk is necessary.
- (HIGH-PITCHED) What?

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Thank you, Ted.

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Because Robin is already his girlfriend.

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(HIGH-PITCHED) What?

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MacLaren's Bar, four years ago.

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How do you keep a girl
from becoming your girlfriend?

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Simple, the rules for girls
are the same as the rules for Gremlins.

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- Gremlins?
- Gremlins.

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Rule number one, never get them wet.

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00:09:03,142 --> 00:09:05,633
In other words, don't let her
take a shower at your place.

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Number two,
keep them away from sunlight,

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i.e. don't ever see them during the day.

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And rule number three,
never feed them after midnight,

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meaning she doesn't sleep over
and you don't have breakfast with her.

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Ever.

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What about brunch? Is brunch cool?

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00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:25,128
No, Ted, brunch is not cool.

185
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,232
Okay, new topic. How do I pick a tie?

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00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,600
Simple.
Remember in the movie, <i>Predator...</i>

187
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:35,338
I've done all three of those things
with Robin.

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Is she my girlfriend?

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Just once, I wish you guys
would call me on Tuxedo Night.

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ANNOUNCER: <i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

191
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<i>time to pucker up</i>
<i>for the New York Rangers Kiss Cam!</i>

192
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- CROWD: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
- Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

193
00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,324
Okay, how about this?

194
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If you kiss me and you feel bad about it,
you're meant to be with Barney.

195
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(SIGHS) Why not? Lay it on me.

196
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,929
Hey, Brad.

197
00:10:09,375 --> 00:10:11,400
Brad, we can't fight like this all night!

198
00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:14,503
We both got some good shots in.
Let's call a truce!

199
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,074
It's okay, dude.

200
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,146
I shouldn't go kissing
some other guy's girlfriend.

201
00:10:18,217 --> 00:10:21,653
BARNEY: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Girlfriend? Hey, come on.

202
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:24,747
- That's putting it a bit strongly. Okay.
- A bit strongly. She's not my girlfriend.

203
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:28,191
Yeah. A girlfriend's a bit much, Brad,
okay? We...

204
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:32,759
Okay, seriously.
We're at the point of physical violence.

205
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,857
Now, will you please have the talk?

206
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Because of that? Come on.
That's my thing.

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00:10:38,437 --> 00:10:42,669
I'm always punching guys, girls.
I'll punch a baby. I don't care.

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OLDER TED: <i>Finally,</i>
<i>my first class had arrived.</i>

209
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,708
<i>For real this time.</i>

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<i>I knew I had to make a strong impression.</i>
<i>I had thought of everything. Except...</i>

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TED: <i>Wait. Does professor have</i>
<i>one "F" or two?</i>

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00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:58,013
<i>Oh, my God. Oh, my God!</i>

213
00:10:58,090 --> 00:11:02,424
<i>Professor. Professor.</i>
<i>They're all staring at me.</i>

214
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,692
<i>Professor. I don't know.</i>
<i>Just do something!</i>

215
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,259
<i>Two "F's".</i>

216
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,701
<i>That looks right. I think that's right.</i>

217
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:30,420
- Hey, sorry I went a little too far last night.
- Look, we've been over this.

218
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,957
Unless I say "flügelhorn,"
you haven't gone too far.

219
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:36,291
No, I meant punching Brad.

220
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Right. Look,
don't even worry about it. It's... Oh!

221
00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:41,725
God. The doorknob's broken off.

222
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:44,566
We're locked in here. Did you do this?

223
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- No.
- Flügelhorn. Did you do this?

224
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,207
No.

225
00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:51,832
Ted.

226
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:54,812
- Ted, are you out there?
- Ted's not here, Robin.

227
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,244
- Lily, let us out of here.
- I'd be glad to.

228
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:00,842
Just as soon as you and Barney
have the talk.

229
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:09,019
Lily! Come on. Let us out!

230
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:12,223
No. Sit down, define the relationship,

231
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:14,926
write down that definition
on a piece of paper,

232
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:18,766
slip it under the door
and if I like what I read, you can go.

233
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:20,430
We are not having the talk!

234
00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:22,133
Then you'll die in there.

235
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:24,005
You're gonna lock us in here?
Well, guess what?

236
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,136
Maybe we'll spend the whole day
having sex!

237
00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:28,703
Well, guess what?

238
00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:31,716
I brought Marshall with me,
so maybe we'll do the same.

239
00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:33,818
Hey, guys.

240
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,623
OLDER TED: <i>I still hadn't decided</i>
<i>what kind of professor I wanted to be.</i>

241
00:12:38,691 --> 00:12:41,251
<i>Authoritative or cool guy.</i>

242
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:45,457
<i>I thought I would decide in the moment.</i>
<i>And I did, about 20 times.</i>

243
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,089
Good morning.

244
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,294
S'up, dudes? Silence!

245
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:56,032
This is Architecture 101.
I am Professor Mosby,

246
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,301
but you can call me Ted.

247
00:13:00,012 --> 00:13:01,673
Professor Mosby.

248
00:13:02,882 --> 00:13:04,645
T-Dawg.

249
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,582
Do not call me T-Dawg.

250
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:13,322
Never take questions on the first day.
It shows weakness.

251
00:13:14,093 --> 00:13:17,358
Also, don't look right here.

252
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,122
(CHUCKLING)

253
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:21,189
Okay, good luck. Byesies.

254
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,297
OLDER TED: <i>This was it,</i>
<i>my crossroads moment.</i>

255
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:28,136
<i>What kind of professor was I gonna be?</i>

256
00:13:28,207 --> 00:13:29,765
<i>I had to decide.</i>

257
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:33,676
Please save all your questions
until the end of the lecture. Thank you!

258
00:13:34,380 --> 00:13:35,369
Now...

259
00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,415
OLDER TED: <i>Professor Mosby had arrived.</i>

260
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,815
<i>Of course,</i>
<i>if I had taken that girl's question,</i>

261
00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:43,446
<i>who, by the way, was not your mom.</i>
<i>Your mom was sitting...</i>

262
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,490
<i>Wait, let me finish this real quick.</i>

263
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,651
<i>Here's what that girl would have said.</i>

264
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:52,589
I'm sorry to bother you, Professor Mosby,
but this isn't Architecture 101.

265
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,192
This is Economics 305.
You're in the wrong classroom.

266
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,066
OLDER TED: <i>Yes,</i>
<i>I was in the wrong classroom.</i>

267
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:02,301
<i>And thus began the most humiliating</i>
<i>seven minutes of my life.</i>

268
00:14:02,374 --> 00:14:04,365
Here's your think-about-it for the day.

269
00:14:04,443 --> 00:14:08,573
Every single person in this room
is already an architect.

270
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:10,547
Architect?

271
00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:16,681
(SIGHS)

272
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:19,054
"We're just hanging out."

273
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:21,024
Just hanging out?

274
00:14:21,627 --> 00:14:24,391
- Not good enough.
- Not good enough!

275
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:31,893
Can anyone here tell me
what this class is really all about?

276
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,599
Economics?

277
00:14:33,672 --> 00:14:34,934
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

278
00:14:35,007 --> 00:14:39,068
Now, now... Don't laugh. He's not...
He's not entirely wrong.

279
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:44,773
An architect must be economical
in his use of space, so...

280
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:47,012
Well done.

281
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:52,149
Looks like someone's building
towards an A. Huh?

282
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:55,992
"We're seeing where things are going."

283
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,050
(LAUGHING)

284
00:14:57,796 --> 00:15:02,130
I'll tell you where things aren't going.
Out of that bedroom.

285
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:04,669
- Not good enough.
- Not good enough!

286
00:15:07,172 --> 00:15:08,503
You.

287
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,132
Why do you want to be an architect?

288
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:12,836
I don't want to be an architect.

289
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,546
Yes. Yes, exactly.

290
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:19,614
It's not something you want to be.
It's something you need to be.

291
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:23,955
You don't have a choice, right?
None of you has a choice.

292
00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,456
No questions!

293
00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:30,254
"We're Barnman and Robin."

294
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:34,296
Come on, you got to admit,
that's kind of funny, Lily.

295
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:38,234
- Not good enough.
- Not good enough!

296
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,469
So if any of you

297
00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,805
have even the slightest inclination
to do anything with your life

298
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:49,473
other than become an architect,
you're wasting my time and yours.

299
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:52,016
There's the door. You can go.

300
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:55,885
I'm serious. Get out, now.

301
00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,887
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.

302
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,985
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Don't all leave!

303
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,428
Architecture's fun! Look!
I brought a Hacky Sack!

304
00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:07,021
CALZONETTl: Sorry I'm late, everyone.

305
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:10,193
My name is Professor Calzonetti.
This is Economics 305.

306
00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:11,827
You may return to your seats.

307
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,098
(TED LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

308
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:16,335
Sorry, sir. This is Architecture 101.

309
00:16:16,942 --> 00:16:19,240
Who invited their dad, right?

310
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,336
Young man, for the last 28 years,

311
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:26,282
Economics 305 has been taught right here
in Building 14, Room 7.

312
00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:29,953
Yeah, buddy,
I'm sure 200 architecture students

313
00:16:30,022 --> 00:16:32,320
and their professor
all got the room wrong.

314
00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:34,621
T-Dawg, you're in the wrong room, bro.

315
00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:41,228
TED: College kids, out of my way!

316
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,631
Sorry. Coming through.

317
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:46,597
(GRUNTING)

318
00:16:48,474 --> 00:16:50,499
Excuse me. Coming through.

319
00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:57,476
Twenty minutes late on your first day?

320
00:16:57,549 --> 00:17:00,143
- That's rough.
- Yeah, but here's the funny thing.

321
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,248
<i>By that point, I didn't have time to think</i>

322
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:03,686
<i>about what kind of teacher</i>
<i>I was going to be.</i>

323
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:07,453
<i>I just got up there</i>
<i>and talked about architecture.</i>

324
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,587
- And it was kind of great.
- That's awesome, Ted.

325
00:17:10,662 --> 00:17:12,152
- Congratulations, buddy.
- Thanks.

326
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:14,699
ROBIN: Nice job, Ted.
BARNEY: Hey, Ted, Door 5!

327
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:15,893
(BANGING ON DOOR)

328
00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:18,299
- BARNEY: Were you there?
- I got you, buddy.

329
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:20,868
They still haven't had the talk, huh?

330
00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:24,033
I think I know how to speed things up.

331
00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,366
(ROBIN SIGHS)

332
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:27,776
(BARNEY SNIFFING)

333
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,271
Oh! Not cool!

334
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:36,946
Pancakes, fresh bacon. It is so yummy.

335
00:17:38,157 --> 00:17:40,557
(EX CLAIMS) Dude, I'm starving. Let's...

336
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,321
Let's just have the stupid talk.

337
00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:44,328
- Come on.
- (SIGHING) Fine.

338
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:47,794
But how do these things even work?
What do we say?

339
00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:49,265
(LILY CLEARING THROAT)

340
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,938
"Where do you see
this relationship going?"

341
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,805
Oh, my God, that sounds so cheesy.

342
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,606
- (LAUGHING) I know, right?
- (LAUGHING) Totally.

343
00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,112
But...

344
00:18:02,181 --> 00:18:04,411
Where do you see this relationship going?

345
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,347
I don't know.

346
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:09,720
I mean, it's not like I don't like you.

347
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:12,916
I just haven't had a girlfriend
for a long time.

348
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:16,052
- I hope that doesn't make you mad.
- Mad?

349
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,756
I feel the same way.
I suck at relationships.

350
00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:23,458
I mean, except with Ted. Man.
He really got it right.

351
00:18:23,535 --> 00:18:27,596
I know it's a cliché,
but he really ruined me for other men.

352
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:30,200
OLDER TED: <i>Of course, I wasn't in the room</i>
<i>for this conversation,</i>

353
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:33,608
<i>but I have to imagine</i>
<i>Robin said something like that.</i>

354
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,713
Maybe we should go back
to being just friends.

355
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:38,147
Maybe.

356
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,517
But...

357
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,316
- I don't want to stop having sex.
- Oh, good. Me, neither.

358
00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:47,224
- Yeah, friends isn't gonna work.
- Nope.

359
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,089
We're not good at being friends.
We're not good at being

360
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,856
in a relationship. What are we good at?

361
00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,731
- I know something we're good at.
- I don't know.

362
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,596
If we're gonna do it again,
I'm gonna need some Gatorade...

363
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,726
No. No, not that.

364
00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,497
Lying. Think about it.

365
00:18:59,571 --> 00:19:01,630
We spent the whole summer lying
about being just friends.

366
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,834
Why not just keep lying?

367
00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,414
- Really?
- Yeah. Really.

368
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:16,318
We sat down. We had the talk.

369
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:19,084
- Barney's my boyfriend now.
- And Robin's my girlfriend.

370
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,922
I know it sounds nuts,
but it feels good to say.

371
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,791
We're both afraid of commitment,

372
00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:26,922
but the fact is,
we also can't live without each other.

373
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,523
And if the alternative is
not being together,

374
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,898
then it's worth taking this risk 'cause

375
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,299
she's awesome.

376
00:19:34,373 --> 00:19:36,307
And he's awesome.

377
00:19:36,775 --> 00:19:39,903
- He looks nice in a suit.
- She can handle her scotch.

378
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:43,809
- He's my boyfriend.
- And she's my girlfriend.

379
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,042
(DOOR KNOB RATTLING)

380
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:54,083
Good enough!

381
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:56,918
(BARNEY AND ROBIN LAUGHING)

382
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:59,657
- She bought it.
- Hook, line and sinker.

383
00:19:59,731 --> 00:20:01,665
- We are good.
- Totally.

384
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:04,298
So, you want to get some breakfast?

385
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,735
You know, brunch actually
does sound kind of good.

386
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:09,569
Hmm. Well, lead the way, sweetie pie.

387
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,070
- Whoa! Flügelhorn.
- Yeah, that felt wrong.

388
00:20:12,744 --> 00:20:14,268
(BARNEY CHUCKLING)

389
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,751
You do realize they were lying, right?

390
00:20:26,825 --> 00:20:28,224
No, Ted.

391
00:20:28,293 --> 00:20:30,693
They don't realize they weren't lying.

392
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:32,024
(BOTH CHATTERING)

393
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,498
Oh! Hello.

394
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,099
Hello. Good evening.

395
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,644
Hello. Don't get up.

396
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,509
Didn't we meet on a yacht?

397
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,740
Hello.

398
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:54,751
What? Oh, no.

399
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:58,079
Did I not tell you guys
that it was Tuxedo Night?

400
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:00,324
Doesn't feel very good, does it?

401
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:29,709
ENGLISH - US- SDH

