1
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OLDER TED: <i>Kids,</i>
<i>on a warm March evening in 2010,</i>

2
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<i>a New York City Police boat</i>

3
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<i>pulled a 34-year-old white male</i>
<i>out of the Hudson River,</i>

4
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<i>your Uncle Barney.</i>

5
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All right, kid, let's hear the story,
from the beginning.

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Well, it all started a week ago.

7
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<i>I was making time</i>
<i>at the local watering hole.</i>

8
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<i>Enter, a dame.</i>

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Nothing sexier than a man in a fine cravat.

10
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:35,964
Except for a woman
who appreciates a fine cravat.

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How about we just call it a tie?

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(BOTH LAUGHING)

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(LAUGHING)

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- You see, a cravat is a kind of tie.
- I get it.

15
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:51,476
Anyway, next thing you know,
I get her back to my place.

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Barney, when I get in bed with a man,
my body becomes a machine,

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fueled by desire and lust

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and a singular hunger to satisfy
my lover's every carnal need.

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Good thing
the cleaning lady's coming tomorrow.

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- Well, good night.
- What? Wait, what?

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I thought your body was gonna
become a machine,

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fueled by desire, lust,

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and a singular hunger to satisfy
my every carnal need?

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No.

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ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com

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(ALL LAUGHING)

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You know, I really think that Don and I
are hitting our stride as a news team.

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MARSHALL: Yeah.
DON: Well, all credit goes

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to this lady on my left.

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- Well, come on.
- That story you did on which rodents

31
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- to avoid on the subway...
- The answer may surprise you.

32
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It's all of them.

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- I got to run, okay?
- Okay.

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- LILY: Well, bye.
- I'll see you. It's good to meet you.

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Yeah, you too. Okay. Bye, Don.

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(LILY SIGHS)

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Okay, Robin, that guy is awesome.

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He's funny. He's smart. He's handsome.

39
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You got to scoop him up
before someone else does.

40
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I hope you're not talking about you?

41
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:11,022
It has been four months
since you broke up with Barney.

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Maybe it's time
to put yourself back out there.

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Yeah, exactly. Barney's dating again,
and he couldn't be happier.

44
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I couldn't be more unhappy.

45
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All night long, she's hot and heavy for me.

46
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:23,366
I get her back to my place,
and she just bolts?

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I mean, at least, when I run out on a girl,

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I have the common courtesy
to sleep with her first.

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- It's called manners.
- Sounds like she read that book,

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<i>Of Course You're Still Single.</i>
<i>Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut.</i>

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Well, it... It's this book that helps
single girls find a husband.

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It's Robin's copy. I've just...
I've leafed through it a little bit.

53
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- Is that right? Well...
- LILY: Really?

54
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<i>- Men Are From Mars...</i>
- Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine!

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Barney, when you were with this girl,

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did she suddenly slip the word "sex"
into the conversation?

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I'm in the inter-sex-tion,
and I only have a couple of sex,

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before the light changes.
Anyway, everyone's honking at me.

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And it totally sex. But, I can't turn around,
because a jogger slipped

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and fell in horse sex-crement.

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Go on. Go on.

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Did she make excuses to establish
physical contact with you?

63
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- Is this cashmere?
- Cashmere?

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(SCOFFS) This is handspun virgin Merino.

65
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The fibers in this suit
are less than 12 microns thick.

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Twelve microns?

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I love a tiny fiber.

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Well, you're in luck.
'Cause mine's the tiniest.

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And the more you touch it,
the softer it gets.

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(MOANS)

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- She did that, too!
- Now, here's the final test.

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Next time you see her,
ask her out for the following night.

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The book says that's forbidden.

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So, she'll probably give you
some lame excuse,

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like this, " Oh, I can't do anything
tomorrow tonight,

76
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"I've already made plans
to clean my garbage disposal

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"and treat myself to a bubble bath.

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"But how about next week some time?"

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Aha! You're trying that,
<i>Of Course You're Still Single.</i>

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<i>Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut</i>
crap on me!

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It's not crap!

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<i>Of Course You're Still Single.</i>
<i>Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut</i>

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is a brilliant book.

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And, it scares away guys
who are only interested in getting laid.

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Why not just say you have a kid?

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You'd be surprised
how many jerks there are out there.

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That's why the book says,
"Never sleep with a guy on the first date."

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- Totally.
- "Or the second date."

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- Of course.
- "Or the third date."

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- Well...
- "Or the fourth date."

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- Would you tell me how many dates?
- Seventeen.

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(STUTTERS)

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Excuse me, is anyone using this?

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(EXHALES)

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Yep. Here it is.
"No sex until after 17 dates."

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Barney, if you're not gonna take her out
on 17 dates,

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- I think you should just give it up.
- ROBIN: Hmm.

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Oh, no. I'm not the one
who's gonna give it up, she is.

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- Because thanks to Ted's book...
- That's Robin's. It's Robin's book.

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...I can stay two steps
ahead of her at all times.

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There's a loophole in here somewhere,
and I'm gonna find it.

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(TELEPHONE RINGING)

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- Hello?
- Hey, Robin.

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00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:14,505
Oh, hey, Don.

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Listen, do you want to go out
Saturday night?

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- Saturday night?
- Is he asking you out?

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- Say yes! Say yes!
- Look, Don, listen,

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it's really sweet of you to ask.

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- And you're a great guy.
- Yes, I'll go out with you.

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Robin, are you okay?

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Um, I just have a little cold.

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That's probably what you're hearing.
But Saturday night sounds great.

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We can even go to a steak house.

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And you can bring home some prime rib
for my friend Marshall.

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Okay, got to go. Love you, bye.

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- What the hell are you thinking?
- Robin, you've got to do this, okay?

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A great guy like Don is rare.

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And speaking of rare, prime rib.
Don't forget. Thank you.

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Oh, my God. I don't believe it!

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Guys, this is her! She wrote the book!

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Huh. Her name must be Anita.
Okay, my plan was to sleep with her.

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But this changes everything.

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New plan, I'm going to sleep with her.

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Boy, this girl that Barney's going after,
she kind of sounds like the anti-Barney.

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I love how the universe decided
to bring those two together.

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Actually, Anita's going after Barney
because I told her to.

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Wait, you sicced Anita on Barney?

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- How do you even know her?
- She was on my show.

129
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:50,766
But, um, if you had to summarize
your book, in 30 words or less.

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I'll summarize it in one word, Robin.

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And that word is "no."

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By saying "no" constantly
and consistently,

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you empower yourself
while simultaneously turning any jerk

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into a submissive, sniveling,
puddle of a man.

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Hmm. And isn't that every girl's dream.

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(CHUCKLES) After the break,
we're gonna talk about your new book,

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<i>Of Course You Don't Have</i>
<i>a Retirement Plan Yet.</i>

138
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<i>Take a Look at Yourself, You Dumb Slut.</i>

139
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Due out in June. We'll be right back.

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MIKE: We're clear.

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- You guys want any coffee?
- Thank you.

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- Oh, you know what, Mike, that'd be great.
- You?

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No.

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What about you, Robin?
You dating anyone?

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Oh. Dating's not really my bag right now.

146
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,487
Uh-oh. Did somebody break your heart?

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And then, I told her everything.
It just came pouring out.

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And by the end of it, she said...

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This Barney needs to be taught a lesson.

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You say the word and I will destroy him.

151
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- What do you mean?
- I can use the power of no

152
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to break your friend Barney.
Just say the word.

153
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Come on.
That stuff doesn't really work, does it?

154
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,337
I didn't know what you wanted,
so I got you a cappuccino,

155
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an espresso, a latte, a decaf...
Oh, hi, Robin.

156
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:05,281
- And this is a Turkish coffee.
- Thank you, Mike.

157
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Think about it.

158
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ROBIN: <i>I didn't think I was gonna</i>
<i>think about it, but then,</i>

159
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:13,020
<i>- I thought about it.</i>
- Oh, this pilates instructor

160
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was off the charts.

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Picture Robin, but younger.
And bigger boobs.

162
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Maybe not bigger,
but more shapely, and bigger.

163
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- Hello?
- I get her up against the StairMaster,

164
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- and we...
- Do it.

165
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Spoilers! Anyway, we do it.

166
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It's done.

167
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Thank you, Michael.

168
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:46,251
Look, I know, it was stupid.

169
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:49,227
But you have to understand,
back then I was still really upset

170
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:52,026
about the breakup.
I was going through my mourning period.

171
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:55,332
There was a lot of Scotch and a lot
of long nights at the shooting range.

172
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:58,337
Hmm. I hope those weren't
the same nights.

173
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Geez, Lily, it's not
like I remember all of them.

174
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:06,073
Hey, babe, did you know that Robin
was going through a mourning period?

175
00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,704
I mean, she seemed fine after the breakup.

176
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Oh, you know how she is.
She tries to keep her emotions to herself.

177
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:13,583
But, yeah, I caught her crying
a couple times.

178
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,782
She cried? Like real tears?

179
00:09:17,658 --> 00:09:18,955
But that means...

180
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,058
Oh, no.

181
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OLDER TED: <i>And then Marshall realized</i>
<i>what a jackass he'd been to Robin.</i>

182
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,532
Exactly. Barney's dating again
and he couldn't be happier.

183
00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:35,097
I mean, that guy has been active sexually.

184
00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:40,213
All right, he's just been like,
bang, bang, bang!

185
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,614
You know, it's like,
bang, bang, bang, bang.

186
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,674
(SINGING)

187
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<i>Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang,</i>
<i>bangity bang</i>

188
00:09:49,156 --> 00:09:51,590
<i>I said a bang, bang, bang, bangity bang</i>
<i>bang, bang, bang</i>

189
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,991
<i>Bang, bang, bangity bang</i>
<i>I said a bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

190
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,320
How could you let me do that?

191
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,297
You're my wife.
You're supposed to stop me

192
00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:01,027
from embarrassing myself in public.

193
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:03,592
I know. But that song's kind of catchy.

194
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:04,659
(SINGING)

195
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:06,228
<i>Bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

196
00:10:06,306 --> 00:10:07,796
<i>Bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

197
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:11,173
<i>I said, bang, bang, bangity bang</i>
<i>Bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

198
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:16,078
Damn it! I've read the thing cover to cover
and I can't find a loophole.

199
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:20,108
- What am I gonna do?
- Well, there is one other option,

200
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,052
- but you're not ready.
- Tell me.

201
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,355
Well, if you have to seal the deal
in just one date,

202
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,417
it's got to be one doozy of a date, right?

203
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,326
I'm not talking dinner and a movie.

204
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,092
I'm not talking mini-golf.

205
00:10:32,165 --> 00:10:38,035
I'm talking 17 dates' worth of romance
wrapped up into one incredible night.

206
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:41,769
I'm talking about a superdate.

207
00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,540
- A superdate?
- Mmm-hmm.

208
00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:48,138
That sounds kind of lame.
What if we call it a megadate?

209
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,910
If you want my help, it's a superdate.

210
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,247
- All right.
- Leave it to me.

211
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,479
I'll plan the whole thing.

212
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,817
- You're gonna plan the whole thing?
- Mmm-hmm.

213
00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:59,484
- I bet it'll be all gooey and romantic, huh?
- Gooey and romantic?

214
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,590
Gooey and romantic?

215
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,119
Barney.

216
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,219
(SINGING)

217
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:08,700
<i>You don't have to take her to Paris or Peru</i>

218
00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:11,260
Uh, Ted, what are you doing?

219
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:16,069
<i>You just have to make her understand</i>

220
00:11:16,143 --> 00:11:18,008
Ted, people are looking at us.

221
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:21,980
<i>What she means to you</i>

222
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,609
Oh, God, really?
You're really gonna do this right now?

223
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:29,145
<i>On your superdate</i>

224
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:35,183
<i>Troubles of the world</i>
<i>will simply have to wait</i>

225
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:42,526
<i>For wonders and amazement</i>
<i>served up on a silver plate</i>

226
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:46,431
<i>Hurry up now, don't be late</i>

227
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:50,408
<i>'Cause hand in hand</i>
<i>You'll find a land</i>

228
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:57,314
<i>Where paradise awaits</i>

229
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,379
And then, boom!

230
00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:05,482
Fireworks over the Manhattan skyline,
you kiss her...

231
00:12:06,493 --> 00:12:13,422
<i>And that's your superdate</i>

232
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:25,372
- That sounds gooey and romantic.
- Yeah.

233
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,140
- Strip club?
- Strip club.

234
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,206
(BARNEY CLEARS THROAT)

235
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,511
OLDER TED: <i>Finally,</i>
<i>the night of the big dates arrived.</i>

236
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:37,853
So, tonight's the big night.
Where's the D-bag taking you?

237
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,222
That's not a good nickname for Don.
I'll think of a better one.

238
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,784
You know, that, I just... I cancelled.

239
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,995
- What do you mean you... Wait... Hey...
- Hey, what's wrong?

240
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,195
- Robin cancelled her date.
- What?

241
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,261
She was totally psyched for it,
like an hour ago.

242
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,440
Robin Scherbatsky,

243
00:12:55,509 --> 00:13:00,242
you look like the classiest,
most expensive prostitute ever.

244
00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:02,372
Oh, thank you.

245
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,974
I take it you're excited to go out with Don?

246
00:13:05,051 --> 00:13:07,952
You know what, I kind of am.
Don't tell Marshall.

247
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,251
I won't.
I bet you'll have a nice time tonight.

248
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,450
- Yeah.
- Not, however, a super time.

249
00:13:12,526 --> 00:13:16,656
A super time will be had by Barney
on his date with Anita.

250
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:21,190
Yep. Carriage ride,
dinner at Le Tombeur des Culottes.

251
00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,564
They're calling it a superdate. So...

252
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:31,133
Ted! How could you do that?
Robin just got over her mourning period.

253
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:35,642
- She seemed so happy after the breakup.
- Oh, Ted. So unobservant.

254
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:38,980
Such a guy. She was obviously crushed.

255
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:43,613
Wait, but that would mean... Oh, no.

256
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:46,420
OLDER TED: <i>And then I realized</i>
<i>what a jackass I'd been to Robin.</i>

257
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,421
<i>I said a bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

258
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,395
- Hey, what you singing?
- Just a little ditty I wrote

259
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,260
about how many girls
Barney's been banging lately.

260
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,357
- Well, count me in for a verse.
- Great!

261
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,527
<i>Bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

262
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:59,128
<i>- I said, a bang, bang, bangity bang</i>
<i>- Bang, bang, bang</i>

263
00:13:59,206 --> 00:14:01,970
<i>Bang, bang, bangity bang</i>
<i>I said a bang bang...</i>

264
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:06,807
- No! Oh, God. Where is she?
- I think she's in the restroom.

265
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:07,904
(CRYING)

266
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:08,970
ALL: Oh.

267
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,916
No, guys, guys, I'm fine.

268
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,411
(WHISTLING)

269
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,014
Hey.

270
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,659
Dude, why would you do that?

271
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:28,026
Because I'm angry at you! I'm angry at me!
I'm angry at Ted!

272
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,399
And frankly, I'm still angry at the Empire.

273
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,465
Why are you angry at me?

274
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,235
Dude, you've been a real jerk
in front of Robin

275
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,003
while she's been going
through her mourning period.

276
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:39,839
Mourning period? She hasn't been
going through any mourning period.

277
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:42,780
- So unobservant.
- Such a guy.

278
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:46,285
Ugh, Barney, sit down.
You need to hear some stuff.

279
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:49,982
- What, what? Is she upset or something?
- Of course she's upset.

280
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,990
Take a look at yourself, you dumb slut.

281
00:14:52,759 --> 00:14:55,990
OLDER TED: <i>And then Aunt Lily told Barney</i>
<i>every excruciating detail</i>

282
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,053
<i>of what he hadn't been seeing</i>
<i>since the breakup.</i>

283
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:02,424
You should've seen this girl.
Bang, ping, pawdau, gu-dunk.

284
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,764
Okay, I'm leaving.

285
00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,768
So, we get up to my place.

286
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:11,405
(SOBBING)

287
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,911
(CROWD CHEERING ON TV)

288
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:21,752
(SNIFFLING)

289
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:25,522
<i>...bang, bangity bang,</i>
<i>bang, bang, bang</i>

290
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:27,389
<i>Bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

291
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,088
<i>I said bang, bang, bangity bang,</i>
<i>bang, bang, bang</i>

292
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:36,332
(VOMITING)

293
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,868
I can't believe Robin's been so upset.

294
00:15:44,177 --> 00:15:46,543
I can't believe you threw up
in your Stormtrooper helmet.

295
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,372
Eh. I did something worse in it
after <i>The Phantom Menace</i> premiere.

296
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,877
So she's been this way
ever since we broke up?

297
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,786
Actually, she was doing much better

298
00:15:56,856 --> 00:16:00,223
until you decided to go
on this stupid superdate with Anita.

299
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:04,185
And now, she's off sulking
God knows where.

300
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:06,020
I know where.

301
00:16:09,035 --> 00:16:10,229
(SIGHS)

302
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,331
- Hey.
- Hey, Barney. What's up?

303
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:19,867
(SNIFFLING) I thought you were going
on some big date.

304
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:24,005
- Robin, I know you're upset.
- What? No.

305
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:29,078
I have never been happier.
And this Anita sounds lovely.

306
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:33,592
I am so glad that you two just randomly
happened to find each other.

307
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,322
It just warms my freaking heart!

308
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:38,594
(EX CLAIMS)

309
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,521
(GUN CLICKING)

310
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,726
(GRUNTS)

311
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,132
(EXHALING)

312
00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:48,832
- So, are you sure you're not upset?
- Well, of course I'm upset, Barney!

313
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,843
Don't you see how constantly
talking about your conquests

314
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:54,311
makes me feel like
I'm just another number to you?

315
00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:55,871
But you're not just another number to me.

316
00:16:55,949 --> 00:16:58,543
You know, and now you're taking Anita,

317
00:16:58,618 --> 00:17:01,178
who you barely know,
on this amazing date,

318
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,722
when I never got treated that way.

319
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:08,650
It just...
It just sucks, that's all. It just sucks.

320
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,389
(SIGHS)

321
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,570
Wow. I knew
I was bad at being a boyfriend,

322
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:22,802
but I had no idea I'd be so much worse
at being an ex-boyfriend.

323
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,710
I'm sorry.

324
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,241
What can I do to make it up to you?

325
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,342
Nothing, Barney.

326
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:35,550
You've already proven
that I'm not important to you.

327
00:17:35,622 --> 00:17:38,352
Oh, stop that. I'm serious.
Ask me for anything.

328
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,687
Uh, okay, don't sleep with Anita.

329
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,559
- Done.
- Barney,

330
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:46,121
of course you're gonna sleep with her.

331
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,599
Why else would you be taking her
on this superdate?

332
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:53,471
She's not going on the superdate, Robin.
You are.

333
00:17:55,341 --> 00:17:57,639
OLDER TED: <i>Your Uncle Barney</i>
<i>finally gave Aunt Robin</i>

334
00:17:57,710 --> 00:18:00,201
<i>the superdate she truly deserved.</i>

335
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,544
<i>With a guy she truly deserved.</i>

336
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:07,013
<i>Of course, there was still one loose end.</i>

337
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:09,715
- Barney.
- Oh, hey, Anita.

338
00:18:09,789 --> 00:18:11,256
I totally meant to call you.

339
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:14,657
Well, I'm breaking all my rules
coming down here,

340
00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:18,094
but nobody stands me up like that,
so, are we going out or what?

341
00:18:19,566 --> 00:18:22,592
I'm sorry, I made a promise to a friend.

342
00:18:23,303 --> 00:18:24,531
I have to say no.

343
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,037
Oh. Oh, I see.

344
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:33,978
(SCOFFING) You're trying the "no" thing
on me. You really think that's gonna work?

345
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:36,438
'Cause it won't!

346
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:39,212
Okay, how about this, I'll cut you a deal.

347
00:18:39,385 --> 00:18:42,013
Maybe you might

348
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:46,123
get lucky after the 12th date.

349
00:18:46,192 --> 00:18:47,352
- No.
- The 11th date.

350
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,416
- No.
- Fifth date.

351
00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:49,484
- No.
- Tonight.

352
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,893
- No.
- Tonight before dinner.

353
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:53,455
- No.
- How about you? You interested?

354
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,559
- Yeah.
- Come on, Barney!

355
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:00,003
I'm sorry, Anita. The answer is no.

356
00:19:00,874 --> 00:19:04,605
Well, good! Because my answer is no, too!

357
00:19:06,946 --> 00:19:08,243
Okay, here's my final offer.

358
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,356
Barney!

359
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,980
And that's my story.

360
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:43,948
Well, here's a $500 ticket
for jumping in the river.

361
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,414
I hope it was worth it.

362
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:50,118
(FIREWORKS EXPLODING)

363
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:03,467
I hope so, too.

364
00:20:21,955 --> 00:20:23,786
It's not true.
It's an old wives' tale.

365
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,824
- Oh, hey, Robin.
- Hey.

366
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:29,157
- How'd the big date go?
- Uh, pretty well.

367
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:33,428
- Pretty, pretty well.
- Like, how pretty well?

368
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:37,799
Oh, guys, guys, come on. It was fine.

369
00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:41,067
You know, it was nice.
We had a good time.

370
00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:45,209
Let's just... Let's just leave it at that, okay?

371
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:51,307
Although, one interesting thing
did happen.

372
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:54,842
<i>I said a bang, bang, bangity bang</i>
<i>I said a bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

373
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:57,219
<i>A bang, bang, bang, bang</i>
<i>bang, bangity bang</i>

374
00:20:57,290 --> 00:20:59,087
<i>I said a bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

375
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:02,924
<i>Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang</i>
<i>bang, bang, bangity bang</i>

376
00:21:29,022 --> 00:21:30,011
ENGLISH - US - SDH

