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OLDER TED: Kids, your Aunt Lily
has always been one of those people
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who loves their birthday. Loves it.
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(BEEPING)
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It's my birthday!
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So it's a good thing she married Marshall.
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(BEEPING)
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It's still my birthday!
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Because he loves planning birthdays.
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Feliz Cumpleaños, baby.
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The theme of today's birthday
breakfast in bed is Spanish Interlude.
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(SPANISH MUSIC PLAYING)
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Yay!
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It's, uh...
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How on Earth did we end up in
the lyrical rolling hills of Northern Spain?
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Yay!
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Baby, tonight is gonna be so much fun.
Just the five of us, black-tie dinner,
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and Ted is picking up your favorite
cognac pumpkin cheesecake from Edgar's.
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Yay!
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Okay. I am off to run
your super secret birthday errand.
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Yay!
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And I'm taking this guy with me,
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because I don't like the way
he's looking at you.
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Yay.
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A new camera. Oh, thank you, Marshall!
I love it!
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(CLEARS THROAT) Well, a little bonus.
I took some naked pictures of myself
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before I wrapped it, put a bow on it.
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- There wasn't a bow on it.
- Wrong "it."
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(LILY GASPS)
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Thank you, honey. I'm gonna get some
great shots of our little group with this.
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(BOTH GROAN)
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OLDER TED: Now, kids, you've seen
your Aunt Lily's photo albums:
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leather bound, acid-free paper,
adorable handwritten captions.
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And most importantly, the group shot.
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Cute photo, right, kids?
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But what you don't see
is what happened 10 seconds
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before this picture was taken.
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Okay, I wanna get the perfect group shot.
Marshall, sit between Robin and Barney.
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Why?
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Oh, you know,
light, color balance, aperture.
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You're just saying camera words.
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Wait. You don't want Barney and me
to look like a couple in this picture,
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- do you?
- Of course I don't!
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You two aren't gonna last.
I'm going for timeless here.
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- How dare you!
- That is so rude!
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- It's true.
- Totally true.
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We're running on fumes here.
But still rude.
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(CAMERA CLICKS)
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OLDER TED: We hated Lily's group shots.
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Okay, maybe I get a little bossy,
but I just wanna remember those times.
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Like tonight.
I can't imagine a better birthday
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than being here,
with just my four best friends.
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- Yay!
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
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And Ted's here now. Yay!
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Happy birthday! This is Amanda.
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(SHAKILY) And Amanda. Yay.
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ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com
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Ted, you were supposed
to bring a cheesecake,
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but instead you brought two grocery bags
and a woman we've never seen before.
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Hi, I'm Marshall. Welcome to our home.
Start talking.
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Well, Amanda's gonna make Lily a cake.
She's a chef.
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We met when I was at a restaurant
last week, and I sent some soup back.
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Luckily she's got such pretty hair,
I didn't mind eating a little bit of it.
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They call me The Shedder at work.
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(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY) I'm so glad
you're making my birthday cake.
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In honor of Lily's 32nd birthday,
I've got a lot of great games planned,
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- starting with Lilial Pursuit.
- Ah, clever.
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- Okay, who's got number one?
- I do.
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Of course you do. Okay, Amanda goes first.
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Thirty-two seconds on the clock
to answer as many questions as possible.
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And, go!
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- Question one, what is Lily's favorite color?
- (TICKING)
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Well, she's wearing pink,
so I'm gonna say pink.
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Yeah, that's Robin.
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Oh. Uh...
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- Her favorite color is elbow.
- (MOUTHING) Yellow.
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I believe Ted
was mouthing the word "yellow."
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Which also would've been wrong.
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This game is called Gilding The Lily.
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- Nice.
- Thank you.
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Okay, you've all written down your favorite
things about the birthday girl,
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and, Lily-pad, you guess who wrote what.
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"Lily makes everyone in her life,
from her friends to her students..."
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(WHISPERING)
Lily's a kindergarten teacher.
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That's what he means by students.
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"...feel loved. She makes the best
oatmeal raisin cookies ever,
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"can recite every line from Goonies..."
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Lily saw Goonies in the theater
right after her parents separated.
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For a long time after that,
she had real trouble trusting people.
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Ted!
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"...and she's the strongest person
I've ever met.
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"I can't imagine my life without her.
I love you, Lily."
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- Aw! Robin.
- Of course it was me.
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- Come on.
- So sweet. Okay.
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(ROBIN AND LILY EX CLAIMING)
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Lily, you try to guess who wrote this.
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(AMANDA GULPING)
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"You seem really nice."
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Oh.
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- I'm gonna guess Amanda.
- No, that was me.
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And I meant every word.
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Well, I should get back to that cake.
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Okay, let me know if you need anything.
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All right, quick, let's do the group photo.
Everybody gather around the fireplace.
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Wait, hang on. I'll let Amanda know.
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Oh, no, that's okay.
She's busy in the kitchen.
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Let's not bother her. Come on.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
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Wait, hang on a second.
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You don't want Amanda
in the photo, do you?
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No, no. It's just, you know,
auto focus, shutter speed, zoom.
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- Lily, what's going on?
- Who wants a party hat?
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Hey, look. Look, I'm a bird!
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- Let's all be birds!
- Lily! Tell me the truth!
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No, of course not! I'm not gonna let
another one of your dumb skanks
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ruin my precious memories!
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(CLICKS)
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- Lily, what are you talking about?
- Ted, you always do this.
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You bring girls that we barely know
to all our big group events.
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- I do not!
- Oh, really?
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Oh. Well, let's just take a little walk
down Random Skank Lane.
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Or we could just keep on strolling down
Best Birthday Ever Avenue.
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Do I get a vote? Skank Lane. Skank Lane!
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Hey, hey, guys,
I've composed a song for the evening.
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Follow along. The chorus goes like this.
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(SINGING) Happy, Happy Lily Day
Happy, Happy...
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Christmas morning, four years ago.
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Our first Christmas together,
just the five of us.
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Oh, Ted,
here's another fun little trivia game.
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It's called Name That Bitch.
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It's... It is... Sa... San...
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Wrong. You're thinking of Santa,
'cause it was Christmas.
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Fun fact, each year, my mother
has Easter tea with her friend Bunny.
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(CHUCKLING) Okay, not that fun.
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Yeah, I remember her name. It's Sara.
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Close. It's Lailanie.
She just had to come to Christmas
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because you said,
"Guys, she might be the one."
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And she's not the only "might be the one."
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New Year's Eve, 2007.
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Barney, Lily, Robin, Ted, Marshall,
and "she's the one" Emily.
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Robin's Uncle Cecil's funeral.
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Marshall, Lily, Robin, Barney, Ted,
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and "this-just-proves-you-find-the-one-
when-you're-not-Iooking" Isabelle.
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My appendix surgery.
Robin, Marshall, Barney, Lily, Ted, and...
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Well, this one you admitted,
you were just trying to bang.
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Respect.
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Oh, hey, remember this yoga instructor
you brought to my birthday last year?
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ALL: (SINGING) ... you
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Thank you. Oh, my God.
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You guys are not gonna believe
who just came in.
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Don't look, don't look!
Why aren't you looking?
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- It's Slash from Guns N' Roses.
- ALL: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
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Okay, okay. Group shot. Group shot!
Come on!
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And we got it! We got a picture
with Slash on my birthday.
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Awesome, right? Right?
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- We were there. We know how this ends.
- Wrong!
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ROBIN: You know what's funny
about this picture?
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- He was grabbing my ass.
- LILY: Really? He was grabbing my ass, too.
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He was grabbing my ass, too.
How many hands does that guy have?
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No wonder he's such a good guitarist.
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Actually, sorry, dude.
I thought that you were Lily.
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Wait a second,
look at these pictures again.
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Barney has the same pose in each shot,
and these are, like, years apart.
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Ah, yes, about that.
I never take a bad picture.
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Never have. Never will.
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(SCOFFS) Dude, there has to be
a bad picture of you.
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- Nope! Not one.
- What about from elementary school?
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- Everyone has bad pictures from school.
- Not the Barnacle.
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I always look drop-dead,
stone-cold amazing.
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Unlike Marshall, who just looks
dead, stoned, and cold.
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OLDER TED: He was right, kids.
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Your Uncle Marshall
does a lot of things well,
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but he does not take a good picture.
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They're not all bad, okay? Like, here.
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Here, look at this one, my eyes are open.
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- Marshall, no!
- You did put a bow on it!
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- Chip and dip, Barney?
- Sure.
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- A-ha!
- (CLICKS)
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Got it! A bad picture.
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Is it, though?
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No, wait. You were eating a chip!
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- Where's the chip?
- It is physically impossible
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for me to take a bad picture.
I don't know why. Ask God.
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Look, Lily, I'm sorry about Amanda,
but I'm just gonna say it.
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You are being a birthday brat.
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(GASPS)
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You're all bent out of shape
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just 'cause you think
I ruined a couple of pictures?
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(CHUCKLING) Oh, Ted, these girls
have ruined so many events.
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- Or are you forgetting Paris?
- What happened in Paris?
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It was junior year,
and I was studying abroad in Paris,
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- and hadn't seen Marshall for two months.
- Two months!
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And I had just started having sex.
I wasn't ready to stop for two months.
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00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:06,172
And Marshall was coming to visit
over spring break.
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00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,572
And at the last minute,
Ted decided to come
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with the girl he had just
gotten back together with, Karen.
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00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:15,542
Karen.
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00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:19,745
- I am so excited you're here.
- I'm so excited to go to Paris.
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00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:22,118
I'm so excited to have sex again.
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00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,590
LILY: But just before the plane took off...
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00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:29,254
- Wait, I wanna tell you something.
- Really?
200
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,926
'Cause I think I wanna
tell you the same thing.
201
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,900
Is your thing, "I had sex with
my philosophy professor last night"?
202
00:10:36,169 --> 00:10:37,534
'Cause that's my thing.
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00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:42,906
LILY: And thus began the longest
seven-and-a-half hours of Marshall's life.
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00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,466
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:45,909
(INAUDIBLE)
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00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,278
When I picked them up at the airport...
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00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:59,689
Ted broke up with me.
I need to sleep in your room this week.
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00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,125
Marshall can bunk with Ted.
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00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,458
(INAUDIBLE)
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00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:11,095
Two months!
My balls were bleues! Bleues!
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00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:15,734
This will come as no shock,
but the rest of the trip was terrible.
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00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,538
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:28,949
And all I wanted was a romantic kiss
picture in front of the Eiffel Tower,
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00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:31,252
which I actually did get.
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00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:34,454
It just happened to be
between Karen and François,
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00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,826
our waiter from the day before.
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00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:39,593
Wow, that's just awful. Just, just, just...
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(CLATTERS)
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00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,166
Oh, whoopsie, hey, I dropped my phone.
You mind picking it up for me?
220
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,670
- Oh, sure.
- Smile, you son-of-a-bitch!
221
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,731
- Got it!
- Did you, though?
222
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,075
What? How do you do that?
You weren't even standing up.
223
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,513
The camera loves me, Robin.
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00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,778
More than loves me.
The camera lusts after me.
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00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:02,879
The camera wants to put on
some nice lingerie, pop in an Al Green CD,
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00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:06,119
dim the lights, and do all the work,
while I just lie there with my eyes closed.
227
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,217
(CLICKS TONGUE)
228
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:10,559
Look, I'm sorry about Paris,
and all the ruined group shots.
229
00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:14,862
But when you're single, you gotta hope
that each next new girl is the one.
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00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,266
- I mean, Erin.
- Emily.
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00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,360
- Irene.
- Isabelle.
232
00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:20,429
- And Sara.
- It's Lailanie. What is wrong with you?
233
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:23,700
At the time, yes. I thought each
of these girls could be the one.
234
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:26,211
But I gotta stay hopeful.
I mean, what's the alternative?
235
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:30,613
Here's the alternative. How about
no more random skanks at my birthday?
236
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:32,812
Hey, sweetie.
237
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,385
- Uh, do you guys have a cooling rack?
- Oh, drawer under the oven.
238
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:38,390
Can't wait. You're just the best.
239
00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:42,756
And, Ted, I'm sorry. I'm gonna
have to agree with Lily on this.
240
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:45,457
I mean, these kind of events
are hard for a new person.
241
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:49,525
That's why I didn't bring Don tonight.
I mean, when I lived in Japan,
242
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:53,039
this guy, for our third date,
brought me to his brother's wedding.
243
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,142
Now I, a total stranger,
244
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,303
am in that Japanese couple's
wedding picture for all eternity.
245
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,471
(CLICKS)
246
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:02,810
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
247
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:07,284
Yeah, Ted,
I think you should listen to Robin.
248
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:10,221
Right. Right.
'Cause Robin's your best friend.
249
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:12,485
- Exactly.
- Your best friend in the whole world.
250
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:15,323
- Absolutely.
- (WHISPERING) Careful, Lily. It's a trap.
251
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,795
TED: And before she was your best friend,
what was she?
252
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:20,890
Oh, that's right, one of my random skanks.
253
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,629
- Hey!
- Okay, yes, Ted.
254
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,432
- This particular skank...
- Hey!
255
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,372
...happened to work out.
But she's the skanky exception,
256
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:30,909
- not the skanky rule.
- Hey, I'm crying a little bit.
257
00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:34,845
Okay. Hey, guys, that about wraps up
this whole skank conversation.
258
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:38,112
Let's get back to the birthday song.
259
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:41,450
Okay, Barney, your part goes like this.
260
00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,721
(SINGING) She's cute
261
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,752
She's cute
262
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:50,388
She's cute
263
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:55,126
Lily, I bring girls to these events
because you guys are important to me.
264
00:13:55,202 --> 00:13:57,693
- You're my family.
- And, hey, Robin. Hey, Robin.
265
00:13:57,771 --> 00:14:00,239
Robin. Your part goes like this.
266
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:02,366
(SINGING IN FALSETTO) And nice
267
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,376
And nice
268
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:07,641
And oh, so nice
269
00:14:08,582 --> 00:14:10,447
Yes, we're a family.
270
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:13,509
So, why can't these events
ever just be us?
271
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,478
Like the time we celebrated
Marshall passing the bar exam.
272
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:21,288
Hey, guys. This is the disgusting,
smelly hippie I'm dating.
273
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:22,555
ALL: Hey.
274
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:25,723
- I did not say that.
- Well, you might as well have.
275
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,259
Hey, guys. This is Strawberry.
276
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:29,734
- Hey.
- Hey.
277
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:33,932
- Um, should we order some more food?
- Oh, no, Strawberry's not eating.
278
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:37,306
- I'm a vegetarian.
- Okay.
279
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,435
Well, let's all raise a glass.
280
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:45,779
For the last three years,
Marshall has been working so hard,
281
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,912
- and I am so proud of you.
- Meat is murder!
282
00:14:49,155 --> 00:14:52,022
(SCREAMING) Meat is murder!
283
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,691
Okay, I admit it.
Strawberry was a mistake.
284
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,389
But how could I have known that going in?
285
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,661
ALL: Her name was Strawberry!
286
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:01,996
Look, if it's such a big deal,
287
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,501
Amanda doesn't have to be
in the group photo.
288
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,765
But I promise,
she's not gonna ruin your birthday.
289
00:15:05,839 --> 00:15:07,739
- Just give her a chance.
- See, look, guys,
290
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:11,504
we're all friends again!
Now let's work on those harmonies.
291
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:14,012
(SINGING) Happy, Happy Lily Day
292
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,514
Happy, Happy Lily Day
293
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:20,747
All done! I hope you like it.
294
00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:28,425
"Happy 42nd birthday, Lori."
295
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,131
OLDER TED: Kids, you know how I've told
you about Lily's you're-dead-to-me look?
296
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,897
That expression she gets just
before she explodes in white-hot rage?
297
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,996
Well, this wasn't it.
298
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,404
(CHUCKLES)
299
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,605
But this was Marshall's.
300
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:52,846
Forty-second?
Does this hot piece of ass look 42 to you?
301
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:57,481
Or does she look like her name is Lori?
302
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,025
- Oh, Marshall, it's okay.
- No, Lily, it's not okay!
303
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:04,223
- Ted, get this stranger out of my house.
- I am so sorry.
304
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,389
Out!
305
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:18,010
(DOOR CLOSES)
306
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:25,612
(SINGING) Happy, Happy Lily Day
Happy, Happy Lily Day
307
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:35,759
Well, Amanda refused to come back.
She thinks you guys hate her.
308
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,524
Marshall, you have to go apologize.
309
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:41,995
You ruined Lily's birthday,
and you want me to apologize.
310
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:44,628
If anything, you should apologize to me.
311
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,365
What are you talking about?
312
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,703
Ted, you bring girls
to these intimate events,
313
00:16:48,775 --> 00:16:50,868
and it makes them think
that things are really serious.
314
00:16:50,944 --> 00:16:54,380
And then, when you break up with them,
you know who they turn to? Me.
315
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,972
I've been your girlfriend clean-up crew
for years.
316
00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:01,551
February, 2005. I had just come back
from a marathon study session
317
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:02,883
at the law library.
318
00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:05,481
Hey, hey, Natalie. Where's Ted?
319
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:09,291
We broke up. Again.
320
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,159
Uh-oh.
321
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:16,396
Won't you sit with me for a little while?
Just sit.
322
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,267
Oh, man. You know what?
I've been up for, like, 36 hours.
323
00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:22,433
(SOBBING INCOHERENTLY) Yeah,
but I don't have anyone else to talk to.
324
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,243
- Just for a few minutes.
- Thanks.
325
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,174
(MARSHALL SIGHS)
326
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:29,681
(WEEPING)
327
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:33,548
And, at first,
I was completely sympathetic.
328
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,783
But, damn it, Ted, over the years,
you've made me cynical.
329
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,215
You know what?
I'm gonna go get us some Rocky Road,
330
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:42,989
and we're just gonna sit here
and talk it out until it makes sense.
331
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:46,960
I just thought we had something
so special, you know?
332
00:17:47,967 --> 00:17:52,370
Me, too. Yeah, but, you know,
life goes on, sweetheart.
333
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:56,303
I don't know how I'm gonna put
my life back together after this.
334
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,071
Oh, shut up.
335
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:04,072
Well, I'm sorry my search for true love has
been such an inconvenience to you guys.
336
00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:06,482
You know what?
Maybe your precious pictures
337
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:08,145
would look a lot better if I wasn't in them.
338
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,688
They'd look a lot better
if Marshall weren't in them.
339
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,156
Cheap shot, cheap shot.
340
00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,817
You know what these pictures are, Lily?
341
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:17,158
They're a big, fat lie. They're posed.
They're touched up.
342
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,198
They're what you want our life to be,
not what it is.
343
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,199
- That's not true.
- Oh, yeah?
344
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:24,395
Okay. Look at this one.
Halloween, two years ago.
345
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,836
You and Marshall got in a huge fight
346
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,338
because you didn't wanna
dress up as penguins.
347
00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,170
No, no, no.
It's not just that she didn't want to.
348
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:31,710
It's that she called
penguins lame. Penguins.
349
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,906
And yet, here you are,
smiling like nothing's wrong.
350
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,608
Completely phony.
351
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:41,213
Oh! Robin's birthday, three years ago.
Robin had a cold,
352
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,585
and you made her change
out of her pajamas for the picture.
353
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:46,352
And then you pinched my cheeks
really hard to get some color in them.
354
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:48,360
Yeah, but you looked pretty.
355
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,592
And then we all ate chocolate cake
in my bed.
356
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:55,193
- Actually, that was a really nice night.
- Yeah, it was.
357
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:59,329
- Yeah, I guess it was.
- Hey, look at this one.
358
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,266
This is the first picture the three of us
ever took together.
359
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,708
That's right. It was.
360
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,874
Hey, you remember how it happened?
361
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:09,709
- Okay, ready?
- Wait, wait, wait.
362
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,615
What pose should we do?
Buddy cop picture?
363
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,722
Oh, no, no. What about an '80s sitcom
about two roommates
364
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:18,916
- who never agree on anything?
- Mmm-hmm.
365
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:21,757
Nice. Okay, one, two...
366
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,352
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
367
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,627
Hi, Marshall. Ready for the movie?
368
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:29,668
Um, yeah. Just a second, though, okay?
We're about to make history.
369
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,931
We're about to take
our first ever roommate picture.
370
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,473
Yeah. Hey, why don't you get
in the picture, too?
371
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,441
- Really?
- Yeah.
372
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,137
Wait. What are you doing, Ted?
What if we break up?
373
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:40,873
What if you don't?
374
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,776
- Come on.
- Come on.
375
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,243
(CLICKS)
376
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,413
I forgot all about that.
377
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,185
Marshall and I had just
been dating a few weeks,
378
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,419
and you invited me into the picture.
379
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:57,729
Well, I liked you.
380
00:19:57,797 --> 00:19:59,856
- We have to get Amanda back.
- Really?
381
00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:03,232
Ted, you believed in me.
It's my turn to believe in you.
382
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,737
For all I know, she's the one.
383
00:20:06,272 --> 00:20:07,534
Thanks, Lil.
384
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:10,474
I think Lori's age has made her very wise.
385
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:13,444
They say your 40s are
when you really get to know yourself.
386
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:14,537
Mmm.
387
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,242
OLDER TED: So, your Aunt Lily
called Amanda.
388
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:20,680
All right, people, gather around.
Let's make a memory.
389
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,881
- Okay.
- Okay, Marshall. No, Marshall, try this.
390
00:20:23,957 --> 00:20:25,788
Keep your eyes closed
until the last second,
391
00:20:25,858 --> 00:20:28,349
- and when I say so, open them. Okay?
- Okay, Ted.
392
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,793
Hey, Barney, is that a hole
in your suit jacket?
393
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,386
What? Where?
394
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,189
Now, Marshall.
395
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:34,324
(CLICKS)
396
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,458
ROBIN: Damn it!
397
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,603
Ted, name that bitch.
398
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:47,645
- Bertha... Bertha?
- No. It was my birthday.
399
00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:50,740
Your brain makes associations
in a very obvious way.
400
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:54,843
All right, people, gather around.
Let's make a memory.
401
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,682
Hey, Robin,
what's in this dip that you made?
402
00:20:57,757 --> 00:21:00,817
It tastes like cilantro,
403
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:04,351
and you know that cilantro makes me...
404
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,022
- (SNEEZING)
- (CLICKS)
405
00:21:06,099 --> 00:21:07,157
ROBIN: Yes!
406
00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:34,982
ENGLISH - US - SDH