1 00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,270 Kids, if there's one big theme to this story-- 2 00:00:04,324 --> 00:00:06,425 and I swear, we're totally, almost, 3 00:00:06,427 --> 00:00:08,927 not really all that close to the end-- it's timing. 4 00:00:09,441 --> 00:00:10,738 Timing is everything. 5 00:00:10,763 --> 00:00:12,846 For example, I never would met your mother 6 00:00:12,847 --> 00:00:14,279 if it weren't for a wedding. 7 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:17,199 The last wedding I ever thought I'd be at. 8 00:00:17,201 --> 00:00:19,868 What do you think of this tie? 9 00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:21,119 Oh, thank God. 10 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:22,905 Barney Stinson needs you right before his wedding, 11 00:00:22,907 --> 00:00:25,490 you assume there's at least one dead hooker in the closet, 12 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:26,524 right? 13 00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:33,081 Is this one better? 14 00:00:33,083 --> 00:00:35,584 Look, the tie is great, and, you know, it's perfectly normal 15 00:00:35,586 --> 00:00:37,369 to have some pre-wedding jitters. 16 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,037 I'm not having jitters. 17 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:40,556 It just occurs to me 18 00:00:40,558 --> 00:00:43,508 that once I put this tie on, I can never take it off. 19 00:00:43,510 --> 00:00:46,345 I have to wear this tie forever and ever. 20 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,930 And sure, this tie's skinny now, 21 00:00:47,932 --> 00:00:50,649 but what happens if it gets fat and starts bossing me around? 22 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,184 Did I make a mistake? 23 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,686 Would I have been happier with the other tie? 24 00:00:56,239 --> 00:00:59,608 Ted, can I tell you a big secret? 25 00:00:59,610 --> 00:01:01,577 Yeah, of course. 26 00:01:02,561 --> 00:01:04,947 I'm not really talking about the tie. 27 00:01:04,949 --> 00:01:06,415 No, I got that, Barney. 28 00:01:06,417 --> 00:01:09,918 I wonder if this whole thing's a disaster. 29 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,704 What if this is the worst wedding ever? 30 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:13,872 Not possible. 31 00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,591 We've already been to the worst wedding ever. 32 00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:17,709 Punchy's wedding. 33 00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:20,379 Marshall really took a two flusher on that one. 34 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,397 The story of how Uncle Marshall ruined 35 00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:23,966 my friend Punchy's wedding 36 00:01:23,968 --> 00:01:26,018 starts in September, 2011. 37 00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,553 Punchy had asked me to be his best man. 38 00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:29,605 Hey. Hey. 39 00:01:29,607 --> 00:01:31,223 Guys, before we go, would you mind 40 00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,557 reading my wedding toast? 41 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:33,558 Oh, yeah, no problem. Sure. 42 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,893 Um, all right, if I have to. 43 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,112 All right. Whoa. 44 00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:40,565 There's a few different versions. 45 00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,951 Ted, why are you working so hard on this toast? 46 00:01:42,953 --> 00:01:44,453 Punchy belched his proposal 47 00:01:44,455 --> 00:01:46,455 through a karaoke mic at a bowling alley. 48 00:01:46,457 --> 00:01:48,407 Okay, look, I've never told you guys this, 49 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,910 but over the years, a few of my old high school buddies 50 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,162 have asked me to give wedding toasts, 51 00:01:54,164 --> 00:01:58,467 and they haven't gone great. 52 00:01:58,469 --> 00:02:01,303 Somehow those weddings all fell smack-dab 53 00:02:01,305 --> 00:02:03,472 in the worst moments of my life. 54 00:02:03,474 --> 00:02:06,508 Joel and Mora's love is a beautiful thing. 55 00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:09,611 I thought I had that... 56 00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:13,482 till my fiancée left me at the altar last week. 57 00:02:13,484 --> 00:02:16,551 I was asked not to talk about this, so I won't. 58 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:23,091 I sit outside her house at night sometimes. 59 00:02:23,093 --> 00:02:26,295 She got a haircut. 60 00:02:26,297 --> 00:02:28,530 After I lost my job last week, 61 00:02:28,532 --> 00:02:30,866 uh, I was asked not to give this toast... 62 00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:32,334 No, no, no! 63 00:02:32,336 --> 00:02:34,202 The happy couple needs to hear this. 64 00:02:34,204 --> 00:02:36,238 Things end. 65 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,875 But from the ashes of your statistically probable divorce, 66 00:02:39,877 --> 00:02:42,878 hope can rise anew. 67 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:47,049 That is why I'm starting my own architecture firm-- 68 00:02:47,051 --> 00:02:48,950 Mosbius Designs. 69 00:02:48,952 --> 00:02:52,154 Mosbius Designs has failed. 70 00:02:52,156 --> 00:02:56,425 But Alex and Jessica's love reminds us that... 71 00:02:58,061 --> 00:03:00,696 Oh, God! 72 00:03:02,648 --> 00:03:05,150 Classic Schmosby. 73 00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:08,904 Whoa. Punchy posted the low points of your life online? 74 00:03:08,906 --> 00:03:10,489 Oh, not just that. 75 00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:13,691 ? Mosbius Designs has failed ? 76 00:03:13,693 --> 00:03:16,244 ? But Alex and Jessica's love reminds us that... ? 77 00:03:16,246 --> 00:03:19,030 ? Tha-tha-tha-tha-tha... ? 78 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:21,900 Oh, God! 79 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:24,836 So now I seem like a total train wreck 80 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,871 to all my old high school friends. 81 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,473 And a bunch of people in Finland. 82 00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:31,510 The auto-tune thing got kind of big over there. 83 00:03:31,512 --> 00:03:34,596 That's why I have to nail this toast. 84 00:03:34,598 --> 00:03:37,482 Ted, you want to nail something at this wedding-- 85 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,568 lose the Trapper Keeper. 86 00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:41,719 The only thing you need to bring to Cleveland 87 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,488 is this. 88 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,806 That fall I became 89 00:03:44,808 --> 00:03:47,559 the youngest architect in the history of New York 90 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,194 to break ground on a skyscraper. 91 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:51,847 Which led to a glowing magazine feature. 92 00:03:51,849 --> 00:03:53,331 I planned on having it framed-- 93 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,083 Uncle Barney had different plans. 94 00:03:55,085 --> 00:03:56,535 Here's your toast-- 95 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,954 "Single file, ladies. No fatties"" 96 00:03:58,956 --> 00:04:00,455 That's ridiculous. 97 00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:01,838 Yeah, you're right. It's Cleveland. 98 00:04:01,839 --> 00:04:04,740 "Single file, ladies"" 99 00:04:04,764 --> 00:04:12,764 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 100 00:04:18,257 --> 00:04:20,091 I'm not going to Punchy's wedding 101 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,277 to brag about a magazine... 102 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,279 cover. 103 00:04:24,281 --> 00:04:26,764 Barney, he doesn't need dating advice from you. 104 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,784 You never even called Nora. 105 00:04:28,786 --> 00:04:30,435 Kids, you remember Nora. 106 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,904 But just the other day... 107 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,074 I'll call you. It's never too late, Barney. 108 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,793 Or did you call her? 109 00:04:37,795 --> 00:04:39,611 Not that I care. Did you? 110 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,213 I don't care. Did you? 111 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,415 I haven't called her. 112 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,417 Buddy. Damn it, Barney. 113 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,118 I was really, really, really rooting for you two. 114 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,336 Who wants hot wings? 115 00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:49,554 I'm in. 116 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,756 Or maybe we should just pour hot sauce on Barney, 117 00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:53,141 since he's a total chicken. 118 00:04:53,143 --> 00:04:54,843 I did not chicken out. 119 00:04:54,845 --> 00:04:56,812 Nora is looking for something serious. 120 00:04:56,814 --> 00:04:57,878 I'm not. End of story. 121 00:04:57,879 --> 00:04:59,855 And yes, Robin, I would love some wings. 122 00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:01,080 Cannibal. 123 00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,901 Okay, next round's on me. 124 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,336 Oh, no, we got it. No, no... 125 00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,138 Now Lily and Marshall had just found out 126 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,639 they were having a baby. 127 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:10,492 I can't wait to tell everyone. Baby, no, 128 00:05:10,494 --> 00:05:12,911 we can't tell anyone. Not until three months. 129 00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,312 I don't want to jinx it. 130 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,498 That's a bit superstitious, don't you think? 131 00:05:16,500 --> 00:05:19,451 Whenever we board a flight, you lick the plane. 132 00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,036 Have we crashed even once? 133 00:05:21,038 --> 00:05:24,339 Don't say a word until we know everything's okay. Deal? 134 00:05:24,341 --> 00:05:27,292 Deal. But everything's just going to be great. 135 00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:29,294 I promise. 136 00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,463 How can you guarantee that? 137 00:05:33,432 --> 00:05:35,884 Come here. 138 00:05:39,004 --> 00:05:40,939 I'm just so happy. I don't know how 139 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,608 we're going to keep this secret for three months. 140 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,976 Relax. It'll be easy. 141 00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,011 What'll you have? 142 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,114 Four beers, plus one non-alcoholic. 143 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:52,767 You're pregnant! Get in here! 144 00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,619 And so we all headed to my hometown 145 00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,020 where we planned to celebrate 146 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,289 Punchy's big day. 147 00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:58,940 Uncle Barney had different plans. 148 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,325 Get ready, Cleveland. 149 00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:02,160 The last man to screw you this hard 150 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,129 then disappear was LeBron James. 151 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:07,249 You're trying to get laid here? 152 00:06:07,251 --> 00:06:09,551 What? God, Barney, 153 00:06:09,553 --> 00:06:10,919 tonight is a magical night 154 00:06:10,921 --> 00:06:12,888 between Ted's annoying friend and what's-her-face. 155 00:06:12,890 --> 00:06:14,089 Have some respect. 156 00:06:14,091 --> 00:06:16,040 This isn't just getting laid. 157 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,709 This is market research. 158 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:22,046 You see, my legendary success rate of 83%... 159 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,182 17-- it's always the inverse. 160 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,984 ...doesn't happen by accident. 161 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,069 Every single play I run on women 162 00:06:28,071 --> 00:06:29,604 has been meticulously field-tested. 163 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:30,939 By weeding out 164 00:06:30,941 --> 00:06:33,891 the bad plays in smaller markets like Cleveland, 165 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:36,060 I know which ones will work in New York. 166 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,028 For example, 167 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:39,397 tonight marks the inaugural flight 168 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,750 of the escaped manslaughterer. 169 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,786 Are escaped manslaughterers sexy? 170 00:06:44,788 --> 00:06:45,903 Not even remotely. No. No. 171 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,573 Exactly. We'll never know unless 172 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,791 I try it out tonight. 173 00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:51,459 Schmosby! Oh! 174 00:06:51,461 --> 00:06:54,179 Turd-faces! What's up?! 175 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:55,931 You really feel that ring now. 176 00:06:55,933 --> 00:06:57,415 So glad you all made it. 177 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,684 Open bar. Drink up, turd-faces, 178 00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:01,853 'cause Kelly's dad's paying for all this, 179 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,139 and he hates my guts. 180 00:07:04,141 --> 00:07:05,557 It's true. 181 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,642 Who's doing shots? Come on, let's go. 182 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:08,926 Oh, no, thank you. 183 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,178 What are you pregnant or something? 184 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,479 Let's get hammered! 185 00:07:13,116 --> 00:07:14,766 You're drinking for two tonight, baby. 186 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:18,203 I will do this for the child. 187 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,271 - Go Browns! - Go Browns! 188 00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,824 In AFC regular season play, 189 00:07:22,826 --> 00:07:25,293 but if they mean the Super Bowl, go Vikings. 190 00:07:25,295 --> 00:07:26,795 Yowza! 191 00:07:27,998 --> 00:07:30,665 Escaped manslaughterers-- not sexy. 192 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,500 Although in hindsight, 193 00:07:32,502 --> 00:07:35,003 that was kind of a flawed concept. 194 00:07:35,005 --> 00:07:37,455 Next up, patient zero. 195 00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:43,728 Lily, we are getting sloshed tonight. 196 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:45,797 That's all you, baby. 197 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,732 I'll be four shots in with no food. 198 00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,397 In nine months, I'll be pushing a pumpkin-headed Eriksen baby 199 00:07:50,422 --> 00:07:51,622 out of my hoo-ha. 200 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,356 I think Papa can manage a few extra cocktails. 201 00:07:54,358 --> 00:07:56,157 Well played. 202 00:08:00,913 --> 00:08:02,497 Hakuna Matata! 203 00:08:02,499 --> 00:08:05,750 I, uh, I got to get some air. 204 00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,821 Kids, remember how I told you 205 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,073 Marshall ruined Punchy's wedding? 206 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,341 That wasn't it. 207 00:08:13,343 --> 00:08:15,644 God, will you look at that guy. 208 00:08:15,646 --> 00:08:18,013 I wish Barney 209 00:08:18,015 --> 00:08:19,381 were my boyfriend again. 210 00:08:19,383 --> 00:08:20,715 No, thanks. 211 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,557 Wait a minute. That's your truth voice. 212 00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:23,782 My what? 213 00:08:24,354 --> 00:08:26,771 Whenever you're trying to pass something off as a joke 214 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:30,125 but it's actually profoundly true, you use that voice. 215 00:08:30,127 --> 00:08:33,010 I wish the Spice Girls would get back together. 216 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,646 They were awesome. 217 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,448 The worst. 218 00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,871 That was me. 219 00:08:42,873 --> 00:08:45,356 I totally cut one. 220 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,359 That guy. 221 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,745 Birthday present from my dad. 222 00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:51,991 All I really want is for him 223 00:08:52,016 --> 00:08:53,816 to tell me that he loves me. 224 00:08:54,751 --> 00:08:56,084 Just kidding. 225 00:08:56,086 --> 00:08:57,419 This pen's enough. 226 00:08:57,421 --> 00:08:59,203 It's not enough. 227 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,372 It's totally enough. 228 00:09:04,374 --> 00:09:06,309 Oh, my God. 229 00:09:06,311 --> 00:09:09,762 You still have feelings for Barney. 230 00:09:12,179 --> 00:09:15,446 Admit it, you still have feelings for Barney. 231 00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:18,376 You are drunker than I thought. 232 00:09:18,378 --> 00:09:19,344 I mean, 233 00:09:19,346 --> 00:09:21,563 look at the guy. Wait, wait, wait. 234 00:09:21,565 --> 00:09:24,215 Before you go, please answer the following survey 235 00:09:24,217 --> 00:09:26,268 to help me better bang you in the future. 236 00:09:26,270 --> 00:09:29,437 What didn't work for you about this play? 237 00:09:29,439 --> 00:09:30,939 Did you A) not believe 238 00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:33,692 I was a Guinness Book world record holder? 239 00:09:33,694 --> 00:09:37,329 or B) did the fingernails gross you out? 240 00:09:37,331 --> 00:09:39,364 Th... 241 00:09:39,366 --> 00:09:41,616 I can't wait for your toast, Schmosby. 242 00:09:41,618 --> 00:09:44,068 Yeah, here come the waterworks. 243 00:09:44,070 --> 00:09:46,705 Wait. You're rooting for me to melt down at your own wedding? 244 00:09:46,707 --> 00:09:48,089 Yeah, everyone is. 245 00:09:48,091 --> 00:09:50,175 Plus a few new friends from Finland. 246 00:09:53,579 --> 00:09:54,963 Hey, good luck, Schmos. 247 00:09:54,965 --> 00:09:56,798 Good luck, good luck. 248 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,934 Take it. 249 00:09:58,936 --> 00:10:01,186 Show them how awesome you are. 250 00:10:01,188 --> 00:10:05,857 Shamelessly plug yourself, so you can shamelessly plug, 251 00:10:05,859 --> 00:10:07,976 let's say that. I told you, 252 00:10:07,978 --> 00:10:09,694 I'm not here to brag, okay? 253 00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,029 That's it. 254 00:10:11,031 --> 00:10:13,114 You're too polite to brag. 255 00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:14,866 Well, fine. 256 00:10:14,868 --> 00:10:16,401 Let me. 257 00:10:16,403 --> 00:10:19,537 Because the only person on Earth 258 00:10:19,539 --> 00:10:21,790 who loves Ted Mosby more than Marshall Eriksen, 259 00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:24,242 is drunk Marshall Eriksen. 260 00:10:24,244 --> 00:10:25,994 So game on. 261 00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,652 Kids, remember how I told you 262 00:10:33,654 --> 00:10:36,187 Marshall ruined Punchy and Kelly's wedding? 263 00:10:37,673 --> 00:10:39,791 That wasn't it either. 264 00:10:39,793 --> 00:10:42,978 Barney and I tried and failed. 265 00:10:42,980 --> 00:10:44,295 That was two years ago. 266 00:10:44,297 --> 00:10:46,464 Why would I ever go down that road again? 267 00:10:46,466 --> 00:10:47,899 It wouldn't even make sense. 268 00:10:47,901 --> 00:10:50,318 It doesn't have to make sense. It's chemistry. 269 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:54,272 Look, I've always had a sixth sense about these things. 270 00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:56,157 And now that I'm pregnant... 271 00:10:56,159 --> 00:10:58,994 with this idea in my mind-uterus, 272 00:10:58,996 --> 00:11:00,311 I see things even clearer. 273 00:11:00,313 --> 00:11:03,248 You and Barney have the kind of chemistry 274 00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:05,583 that just doesn't go away. 275 00:11:05,585 --> 00:11:10,455 Really? Then why is he trying to LeBron anything that moves? 276 00:11:10,457 --> 00:11:11,673 Did this not work for you 277 00:11:11,675 --> 00:11:13,491 because A) vampires are played out, 278 00:11:13,493 --> 00:11:16,461 or B) claiming that I also invented Facebook 279 00:11:16,463 --> 00:11:19,214 was kind of a hat on a hat? 280 00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:22,667 You're the reason 281 00:11:22,669 --> 00:11:24,168 he never called Nora. 282 00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:26,504 You're the reason he's only test-marketing tonight. 283 00:11:26,506 --> 00:11:28,273 And you're the reason he keeps 284 00:11:28,275 --> 00:11:30,058 striking out on purpose. 285 00:11:30,060 --> 00:11:31,493 Chemistry. 286 00:11:32,361 --> 00:11:34,896 Whoa! Ted! 287 00:11:34,898 --> 00:11:36,698 Is that really you 288 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:39,684 on the cover of New York magazine? 289 00:11:39,686 --> 00:11:41,202 Now, you say "yes"" 290 00:11:41,204 --> 00:11:43,321 Please stop. Schmosby. 291 00:11:43,323 --> 00:11:44,372 What's this about a magazine? 292 00:11:44,374 --> 00:11:46,324 You know what, Clay? It's no big deal. 293 00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:48,460 You know what? It is a big deal. 294 00:11:48,462 --> 00:11:53,248 Clay, my friend Ted is designing a skyscraper, Clay. 295 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:54,883 What have you been up to, Clay? 296 00:11:54,885 --> 00:11:57,385 Well, I'm still working at the rental car company... 297 00:11:57,387 --> 00:11:59,003 Bravo, bravo, Clay. 298 00:11:59,005 --> 00:12:02,039 Any major publications want to write an article 299 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:04,059 on your sweet rental car gig? 300 00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:05,510 No, no articles. 301 00:12:05,512 --> 00:12:06,511 My life's pretty dull. 302 00:12:06,513 --> 00:12:10,715 I guess the only news is this little gal. 303 00:12:10,717 --> 00:12:13,101 Oh, my God, wook at the wittle baby. 304 00:12:13,103 --> 00:12:14,853 She is so cute. 305 00:12:14,855 --> 00:12:17,722 All I want to do is put her little feet 306 00:12:17,724 --> 00:12:20,391 in my mouth. 307 00:12:20,393 --> 00:12:22,560 You've created something truly beautiful. 308 00:12:22,562 --> 00:12:24,579 She is my everything. 309 00:12:24,581 --> 00:12:28,399 I mean, it's kind of a big deal... 310 00:12:28,401 --> 00:12:29,734 the building, you know? 311 00:12:29,736 --> 00:12:31,236 Hey, little one. 312 00:12:31,238 --> 00:12:32,871 So, this little angel's already sleeping 313 00:12:32,873 --> 00:12:33,905 through the night? 314 00:12:33,907 --> 00:12:35,790 I've had some sleepless nights... 315 00:12:35,792 --> 00:12:38,676 designing this building. 316 00:12:38,678 --> 00:12:41,179 Aw... 317 00:12:41,181 --> 00:12:43,465 Nothing symbolic about that. 318 00:12:44,467 --> 00:12:46,050 Let it go. 319 00:12:46,052 --> 00:12:48,636 There is no chemistry left between me and Barney. 320 00:12:48,638 --> 00:12:49,754 We're done. 321 00:12:49,756 --> 00:12:52,640 Oh really? Prove it. Go tell him. 322 00:12:52,642 --> 00:12:54,058 Why would I go tell him that? 323 00:12:54,060 --> 00:12:57,562 Because deep down, even if he isn't aware of it himself, 324 00:12:57,564 --> 00:12:59,714 Barney wants to be with you. 325 00:12:59,716 --> 00:13:01,149 And if it's not gonna happen, 326 00:13:01,151 --> 00:13:02,767 he deserves to know. 327 00:13:02,769 --> 00:13:04,085 Fine. 328 00:13:07,189 --> 00:13:10,241 Barney, just so everything is crystal clear... 329 00:13:10,243 --> 00:13:11,793 I know what you're gonna say. 330 00:13:11,795 --> 00:13:14,796 Let's show Cleveland how it's done. 331 00:13:15,831 --> 00:13:18,633 ? The chills that you spill up my back ? 332 00:13:18,635 --> 00:13:20,251 ? Leave me filled with satisfaction ? 333 00:13:20,253 --> 00:13:23,087 ? When we're done, satisfaction of what's to come ? 334 00:13:23,089 --> 00:13:27,242 ? I couldn't ask for another ? ? Uh-huh, uh-huh ? 335 00:13:31,463 --> 00:13:35,350 ? Now I couldn't ask for another ? 336 00:13:39,555 --> 00:13:41,606 ? Groove is in the heart ? 337 00:13:42,858 --> 00:13:46,110 ? Groove is in the heart ? 338 00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:51,282 ? Groove is in the heart ? ? Ask your mama ? 339 00:13:51,284 --> 00:13:54,151 ? Groove is in the heart ? 340 00:14:00,676 --> 00:14:03,511 ? One, two, three ? 341 00:14:09,885 --> 00:14:11,419 ? Groove is in your heart ? 342 00:14:11,421 --> 00:14:14,022 ? Groove is in the heart ? 343 00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:19,110 ? Groove is in the heart ? 344 00:14:19,112 --> 00:14:21,863 ? Groove is in the heart ? 345 00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:26,401 ? Groove is in the heart. ? 346 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:40,331 Barney... I... 347 00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:44,752 Sorry. 348 00:14:46,722 --> 00:14:49,190 Oh, my God, it's Nora. 349 00:14:54,408 --> 00:14:55,942 Nora's finally calling me back. 350 00:14:55,944 --> 00:14:57,360 Wait, you said you never called her. 351 00:14:57,362 --> 00:14:59,579 I lied. I called her, like, five times. 352 00:14:59,581 --> 00:15:01,164 Wait, wait! 353 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,116 You of all people know how much 354 00:15:03,118 --> 00:15:06,002 I suck at these things. You gotta help me. Please? 355 00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:07,203 Just once I would like 356 00:15:07,205 --> 00:15:09,038 to see what it feels like to not screw things up. 357 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,207 Yeah, mm-hmm. 358 00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:12,658 Okay. 359 00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:15,295 Hey, Nora. Thanks for calling me back. 360 00:15:15,297 --> 00:15:19,665 Um, hey, hi. The-the-the reason that, um, 361 00:15:19,667 --> 00:15:21,167 I called is, uh... 362 00:15:21,169 --> 00:15:22,935 To tell you how I feel about you. 363 00:15:22,937 --> 00:15:24,337 ...to tell you how I feel about you. 364 00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:25,972 I know we didn't work out the first time... 365 00:15:25,974 --> 00:15:27,807 I know we didn't work out the first time... 366 00:15:27,809 --> 00:15:29,442 ...and I know it doesn't make any sense... 367 00:15:29,444 --> 00:15:31,227 ...and I know it doesn't make any sense... 368 00:15:31,229 --> 00:15:33,730 ...but I can't shake the feeling that we belong together. 369 00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,148 ...but I can't shake this feeling 370 00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:36,232 that we belong together. 371 00:15:36,234 --> 00:15:38,985 Is there any part of you that wants to try again? 372 00:15:38,987 --> 00:15:41,520 Is there any part of you that wants to try again? 373 00:15:48,962 --> 00:15:51,280 Baby, I can't take it anymore. 374 00:15:51,282 --> 00:15:53,032 I've gotta tell somebody that we're pregnant. 375 00:15:53,034 --> 00:15:54,300 Eriksen, stay strong. 376 00:15:54,302 --> 00:15:55,885 We're keeping this secret. 377 00:15:55,887 --> 00:15:57,387 There's babies everywhere. 378 00:15:57,389 --> 00:15:58,971 It's like a minefield of cuteness. 379 00:15:58,973 --> 00:16:00,473 Look at this little bastard. 380 00:16:00,475 --> 00:16:02,809 Marshall, stop it. Stay strong. 381 00:16:02,811 --> 00:16:06,212 You can't let holding some, some little baby... 382 00:16:06,214 --> 00:16:09,315 oh, with the cute little cheeks 383 00:16:09,317 --> 00:16:11,484 and the... the little arms 384 00:16:11,486 --> 00:16:13,019 and little legs... 385 00:16:13,021 --> 00:16:16,072 This son of a bitch has knee dimples. 386 00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:17,740 Let's go tell everyone I'm pregnant. 387 00:16:17,742 --> 00:16:19,192 Yeah! 388 00:16:39,246 --> 00:16:40,346 You okay? 389 00:16:40,348 --> 00:16:41,631 Nope. You? 390 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,800 Not excessively. 391 00:16:43,802 --> 00:16:44,934 You want to talk about it? 392 00:16:44,936 --> 00:16:46,419 Not even a little. 393 00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:49,555 Might make you feel better. 394 00:16:49,557 --> 00:16:52,442 Okay, fine, I'll make you a deal: 395 00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:55,945 you go first, and then I'll stick with my thing 396 00:16:55,947 --> 00:16:57,447 about not talking about it. 397 00:16:57,449 --> 00:16:59,799 Okay. 398 00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:02,068 All my friends from high school, 399 00:17:02,070 --> 00:17:03,870 they're here with their wives, their kids. 400 00:17:03,872 --> 00:17:07,606 Me? My date for the night is a sticky magazine. 401 00:17:07,608 --> 00:17:10,159 Sounds like high school all over again. 402 00:17:10,161 --> 00:17:11,794 Sorry, it was right there. 403 00:17:13,764 --> 00:17:16,666 I used to believe in destiny, you know? 404 00:17:16,668 --> 00:17:20,586 I'd go to the bagel place, see a pretty girl in line 405 00:17:20,588 --> 00:17:23,556 reading my favorite novel, whistling the song 406 00:17:23,558 --> 00:17:25,975 that's been stuck in my head all week and I'd think, 407 00:17:25,977 --> 00:17:29,262 "Wow. Hey, maybe she's the one." 408 00:17:29,947 --> 00:17:31,647 Now I think, "I just know 409 00:17:31,649 --> 00:17:32,965 "that bitch is gonna take 410 00:17:32,967 --> 00:17:34,684 the last whole-wheat everything bagel." 411 00:17:34,686 --> 00:17:37,019 You've just been focused on work. 412 00:17:37,021 --> 00:17:41,073 No, it's more than that. 413 00:17:41,075 --> 00:17:43,476 I've stopped believing. 414 00:17:44,278 --> 00:17:45,695 Not in some depressed, 415 00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:48,164 "I'm gonna cry during my toast" way. 416 00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:50,666 Not in a way I even noticed until tonight. 417 00:17:50,668 --> 00:17:57,156 It's just, every day, I think I believe a little less 418 00:17:57,158 --> 00:17:59,492 and a little less and a little less. 419 00:17:59,494 --> 00:18:02,478 And that... sucks. 420 00:18:04,664 --> 00:18:07,633 What do I do about that, Scherbatsky? 421 00:18:07,635 --> 00:18:09,335 You're Ted Mosby. 422 00:18:09,337 --> 00:18:11,354 You start believing again. 423 00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:14,140 In what, destiny? 424 00:18:14,142 --> 00:18:16,859 Chemistry. 425 00:18:17,961 --> 00:18:20,313 If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing. 426 00:18:20,315 --> 00:18:21,531 What's that? 427 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,015 Timing. 428 00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,685 But timing's a bitch. 429 00:18:28,172 --> 00:18:31,624 Hey, we still have our 40 deal, right? 430 00:18:31,626 --> 00:18:33,159 If we're both still single at 40... 431 00:18:33,161 --> 00:18:35,027 I'm all yours. Hmm 432 00:18:35,029 --> 00:18:38,080 Unrelated, do architects make big money? 433 00:18:38,082 --> 00:18:40,666 Aggressively medium money. 434 00:18:40,668 --> 00:18:43,719 Damn it. 435 00:18:43,721 --> 00:18:45,521 Schmosby, you're up in two minutes. 436 00:18:47,207 --> 00:18:48,558 Okay, promise me two things, 437 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,510 one) you start believing again, 438 00:18:50,512 --> 00:18:54,614 and two) don't cry during the toast, Schmosby. 439 00:18:54,616 --> 00:18:57,049 I promise. 440 00:18:57,051 --> 00:18:58,818 Good. 441 00:19:01,555 --> 00:19:03,739 We're having a baby. 442 00:19:03,741 --> 00:19:05,408 What, for real? 443 00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:06,526 For real. 444 00:19:06,528 --> 00:19:07,577 Oh! Oh! 445 00:19:09,697 --> 00:19:11,230 Attention, everyone! 446 00:19:11,232 --> 00:19:13,082 It's time for the reason we're all here tonight. 447 00:19:13,084 --> 00:19:15,835 Schmosby's toast! 448 00:19:15,837 --> 00:19:18,387 We're here tonight to celebrate love. 449 00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:23,793 Love brings us new life... 450 00:19:25,263 --> 00:19:26,929 Hey! 451 00:19:30,851 --> 00:19:32,785 This isn't a meltdown. 452 00:19:33,604 --> 00:19:35,638 These are tears of joy. 453 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:40,092 Ted is happy for his friends 454 00:19:40,094 --> 00:19:43,145 'cause he's the best guy that I know. 455 00:19:43,147 --> 00:19:44,447 And do you know why he's happy? 456 00:19:44,449 --> 00:19:47,266 Because this beautiful lady right here is pregnant. 457 00:19:47,268 --> 00:19:48,701 How did you know that?! 458 00:19:48,703 --> 00:19:50,903 That was supposed to be a secret! 459 00:19:50,905 --> 00:19:53,005 Turns out... 460 00:19:53,007 --> 00:19:53,956 Go Browns! 461 00:19:53,958 --> 00:19:56,325 Go Browns! Whoo! 462 00:19:56,327 --> 00:19:57,776 In AFC regular season play, 463 00:19:57,778 --> 00:19:59,795 but if they mean the Super Bowl, go Vikings. 464 00:19:59,797 --> 00:20:01,447 How dare you. 465 00:20:01,449 --> 00:20:03,799 That's my daughter, you piece of garbage. 466 00:20:03,801 --> 00:20:05,768 You're still gonna pay for all this, right? 467 00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:08,671 "Piece of garbage"? That's my son. 468 00:20:08,673 --> 00:20:12,108 And that is how Marshall destroyed Punchy's wedding. 469 00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:15,461 But we didn't care. 470 00:20:15,463 --> 00:20:19,515 There was gonna be a sixth member of our little family. 471 00:20:21,368 --> 00:20:23,486 No wedding will ever, ever be as bad 472 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,771 as that one, right? 473 00:20:25,773 --> 00:20:28,824 I picked the right tie, didn't I? 474 00:20:28,826 --> 00:20:31,327 You nailed it. 475 00:20:31,329 --> 00:20:34,847 And hey, just be glad it's not the ducky tie. 476 00:20:34,849 --> 00:20:36,265 Ooh, the ducky tie. 477 00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:38,467 That's a good story kids. I'll get to that. 478 00:20:38,469 --> 00:20:41,203 Man, we are not even close to the end. 479 00:20:43,491 --> 00:20:46,058 You're a good best man, Ted. 480 00:20:47,044 --> 00:20:49,095 You're gonna cry during the toast, aren't you? 481 00:20:49,097 --> 00:20:49,995 Oh, I'm totally gonna cry. 482 00:20:49,997 --> 00:20:51,881 Come in. 483 00:20:53,717 --> 00:20:55,384 Ted, the bride wants to see you. 484 00:20:56,687 --> 00:20:58,604 Okay. 485 00:21:00,941 --> 00:21:02,608 Really? You're gonna go with that tie?