1 00:00:01,195 --> 00:00:05,080 Kids, in October 2011, your Aunt Robin was in therapy. 2 00:00:05,081 --> 00:00:07,614 And against all logic, it was actually going well. 3 00:00:07,971 --> 00:00:09,337 But why? 4 00:00:09,339 --> 00:00:12,140 Why-why am I constantly looking for reasons not to be happy? 5 00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:15,227 Maybe because the idea of finally being happy... 6 00:00:15,229 --> 00:00:16,928 terrifies you. 7 00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:20,115 Bro, you are killing it today. 8 00:00:20,117 --> 00:00:21,766 Pshh! 9 00:00:22,952 --> 00:00:24,319 We got something good here. 10 00:00:24,321 --> 00:00:26,771 We are totes gonna conquer my fear of abandonment! 11 00:00:26,773 --> 00:00:28,206 I can't see you anymore. 12 00:00:28,208 --> 00:00:30,375 Nice. 13 00:00:30,377 --> 00:00:32,410 "Oh, no! You're abandoning me!" 14 00:00:33,246 --> 00:00:35,446 Oh, no. You're abandoning me? 15 00:00:35,448 --> 00:00:38,383 I'm sorry. I'm moving to Alaska. 16 00:00:38,385 --> 00:00:41,837 And that might have been the end of it. 17 00:00:41,839 --> 00:00:43,088 But a week later... 18 00:00:43,090 --> 00:00:45,140 Kevin?! 19 00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:47,309 What are you doing here? 20 00:00:47,311 --> 00:00:51,596 Okay, look, I lied to you about moving to Alaska. 21 00:00:51,598 --> 00:00:53,765 I-I had to stop seeing you. 22 00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:55,050 Why? 23 00:00:55,052 --> 00:00:57,369 'Cause I think you're cute. 24 00:00:57,371 --> 00:00:59,204 And ethically, I can't be your therapist 25 00:00:59,206 --> 00:01:01,039 if I'm attracted to you. 26 00:01:01,041 --> 00:01:03,641 Oh, I get it. You dump me as a patient 27 00:01:03,643 --> 00:01:05,327 just so you can ask me out? 28 00:01:05,329 --> 00:01:06,461 I'm not gonna ask you out. 29 00:01:06,463 --> 00:01:07,796 You're not? 30 00:01:07,798 --> 00:01:10,632 No. We met in therapy. 31 00:01:10,634 --> 00:01:13,401 It's inappropriate for me to date a patient. 32 00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,521 Anyway, it was nice seeing you. 33 00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:20,325 Hey, wait. 34 00:01:20,327 --> 00:01:21,826 How do you define "date"? 35 00:01:21,828 --> 00:01:24,963 Two people having a meal together, 36 00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:26,014 sitting across the table 37 00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:27,465 making googly eyes at each other... 38 00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:31,803 What about two people eating alone, sitting side by side, 39 00:01:31,805 --> 00:01:35,006 making googly eyes at the coffee maker? 40 00:01:35,008 --> 00:01:37,526 Okay, it's not a date. 41 00:01:37,528 --> 00:01:38,944 Exactly. Not a date. 42 00:01:38,946 --> 00:01:41,813 And so Robin and Kevin had breakfast alone, 43 00:01:41,815 --> 00:01:46,234 side by side every day that week. 44 00:01:47,770 --> 00:01:49,204 Until finally... 45 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:55,527 Oh, hey! 46 00:01:55,529 --> 00:01:57,329 Sorry. No cabs. 47 00:01:57,331 --> 00:01:59,030 Ran 40 blocks all the way here. 48 00:01:59,032 --> 00:02:00,382 May have knocked an old lady 49 00:02:00,384 --> 00:02:02,033 into the street, don't know, I didn't look back. 50 00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:03,084 Let's just go on a real date. 51 00:02:03,086 --> 00:02:04,753 Yeah, that might be a good idea. 52 00:02:04,755 --> 00:02:06,221 Finally! 53 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:21,300 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 54 00:02:21,424 --> 00:02:23,408 Oh, I can't wait to see that movie. 55 00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:24,376 Is it good? 56 00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:25,594 Awesome. Wait, totally hypothetically, 57 00:02:25,596 --> 00:02:28,046 do you like movies with a shocking twist where all 58 00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,765 the main characters die at the end? 59 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:30,883 Yes. 60 00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,184 You will love this movie. 61 00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,519 Hey, guys. 62 00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,770 Hey, Marshall. What's up? 63 00:02:34,772 --> 00:02:36,438 Well, I'll tell you what's up. 64 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,624 You know how my boss, Garrison Cootes, is, 65 00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,559 like, the most famous environmental lawyer 66 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,376 in the world? 67 00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,028 Yeah... 68 00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:46,398 I mean, it's him or the other guy. 69 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,733 Sir Anthony Howel? 70 00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,119 Yeah... 71 00:02:50,121 --> 00:02:52,237 Anyway, he's an important guy, okay? 72 00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,806 And so today at work, 73 00:02:53,808 --> 00:02:55,958 I was trying to show him that I'm tough. 74 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,793 I've been thinking about this 75 00:02:57,795 --> 00:02:59,044 settlement offer we're about 76 00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,130 to get from Gruber Pharmaceuticals. 77 00:03:01,132 --> 00:03:03,048 If it's anything less than $20 million, 78 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,115 then I'm gonna grab 79 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,885 those corporate Earth rapists by their... 80 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,887 Okay, I'm just gonna say something. 81 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,806 I'm growing a child in my belly, 82 00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:12,724 a child that just developed ears. 83 00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,394 This is a very thin sweater. 84 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,146 So please, if you must tell your story... 85 00:03:17,148 --> 00:03:18,764 just make it cheerful. 86 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,382 Cheerful. 87 00:03:20,384 --> 00:03:22,518 Okay... 88 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,236 Then I'm gonna grab those corporate... 89 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,671 employees... 90 00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,639 by their sweaty, dangling... 91 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,657 hands... 92 00:03:28,659 --> 00:03:31,309 and squeeze until those greedy sons of... 93 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,612 parents... realize that I'm the baddest mother... 94 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:36,498 nature lover around. 95 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,334 It's like watching The Breakfast Club on TBS. 96 00:03:39,336 --> 00:03:41,253 So what did he say? 97 00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:45,924 Marshall, bend down so I can put my arm around you. 98 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,043 That's all the way down. That's good. 99 00:03:48,045 --> 00:03:50,012 Gruber Pharmaceuticals is a company full 100 00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:51,964 of well-meaning people doing their jobs, 101 00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:54,049 just like you and me. 102 00:03:54,051 --> 00:03:56,802 Guys, I'm afraid that Garrison Cootes has gone soft! 103 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,804 He's like a teddy bear! 104 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,390 A teddy bear or an Ewok? 105 00:04:01,392 --> 00:04:03,559 You know, cute and cuddly around the village, 106 00:04:03,561 --> 00:04:05,477 but once the battle starts... 107 00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,864 He'll smash in your metal skull with giant swinging logs. 108 00:04:08,866 --> 00:04:09,982 Marshall! 109 00:04:09,984 --> 00:04:11,233 Okay, he'll hug you 110 00:04:11,235 --> 00:04:13,652 until you agree to peaceably shut down the Death Star. 111 00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:14,853 Hi, sweetie. 112 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:15,971 Hey. 113 00:04:15,973 --> 00:04:17,689 What are we all talking about? 114 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:18,807 Ewoks. 115 00:04:18,809 --> 00:04:20,075 Ugh, I hate the Ewoks. 116 00:04:20,077 --> 00:04:22,294 The only good thing about Ewoks in that movie? 117 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,195 You got to see some of them die. 118 00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,832 Well, I fancy a pint. 119 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,801 Nora hates Ewoks. 120 00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,703 Well, I have to break up with her. 121 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,739 Be gentle when you tell her, guys. 122 00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,341 I'll call you from Vegas. Tell me how it went. Okay. 123 00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:37,309 Okay, Barney! 124 00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,376 Sit down! 125 00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,711 Not liking Ewoks 126 00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,231 is no reason not to date somebody. 127 00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:44,816 Yeah, I mean, who knows what the rules are, ya know? 128 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,486 I mean, you're dating a girl who doesn't like Ewoks, 129 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,387 I'm dating my former therapist. 130 00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:50,439 - Oh! - Eww! 131 00:04:50,441 --> 00:04:52,274 We are gentlemen of Harvard! 132 00:04:52,276 --> 00:04:53,708 It's not a big deal! 133 00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:55,521 Robin, if you asked a hundred people, 134 00:04:55,522 --> 00:04:57,365 "Who's the worst person you could possibly date?" 135 00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:58,947 they'd all say, "Your therapist." 136 00:04:58,949 --> 00:05:00,699 Except the ones saying "Barney." 137 00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,085 Hey! Yeah, that tracks. 138 00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:04,903 Well, I should get going. 139 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,755 I got the big field trip tomorrow. 140 00:05:06,757 --> 00:05:07,623 Field trip? 141 00:05:07,625 --> 00:05:08,457 Yeah. I'm taking 142 00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:09,625 my Intro to Architecture class 143 00:05:09,627 --> 00:05:11,176 to the GNB Tower construction site. 144 00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,594 I'm trying to get them interested 145 00:05:12,596 --> 00:05:14,179 in architecture as a career. 146 00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,247 Why? Are we running out of buildings? 147 00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,716 Are we running out of boring people? 148 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,468 Guys, this is a big deal, okay? 149 00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:21,603 If I can get just one kid interested in 150 00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:22,754 becoming an architect... 151 00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,274 Okay, I'm just gonna stop you right there. 152 00:05:25,276 --> 00:05:27,309 Ted, it's an Intro class. 153 00:05:27,311 --> 00:05:29,513 Yeah, don't try to Stand and Deliver 154 00:05:29,514 --> 00:05:30,262 an Intro class. 155 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,315 Nobody takes an Intro class to get on any other path 156 00:05:33,317 --> 00:05:36,068 but the path to not being hungover anymore. 157 00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:40,155 I learned that in my Intro to something-ology class. 158 00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:42,574 Well that's fine for something-ology, 159 00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,876 but tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. sharp 160 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:48,080 Intro to Architecture is going on a field trip! 161 00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:49,464 All 200 of 'em. 162 00:05:49,466 --> 00:05:50,482 Well, it's 9:45. 163 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,051 I guess the other 170 of you got lost, 164 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,419 so we'll just start. 165 00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:57,923 Now, some might say you guys are just taking this class 166 00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:01,393 because it's easy or because you've confused architecture 167 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,178 with archaeology and think we're gonna do 168 00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,963 some cool Indiana Jones stuff today. 169 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,765 But I think that... 170 00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:13,488 I think just maybe, we got some future architects in the house. 171 00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:18,110 Show of hands: who's thinking about a career in architecture? 172 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:23,031 Well, today, all that's gonna change. 173 00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:24,983 Follow me. 174 00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,370 Hey. Uh, sorry, 175 00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:30,272 nobody gets in here without a site pass. 176 00:06:30,274 --> 00:06:33,875 It's okay, I'm Ted Mosby, the architect of this building. 177 00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:36,294 I don't care if you're the archaeologist of this building. 178 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,429 Site's closed. 179 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:44,653 Moving on! 180 00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:47,622 That morning, Marshall's firm 181 00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,274 was getting the settlement offer 182 00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,727 from Gruber Pharmaceuticals, and Marshall couldn't wait 183 00:06:51,729 --> 00:06:54,780 to see the teddy bear turn into an Ewok. 184 00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:58,683 Gruber Pharmaceuticals dumped toxic waste into Frog Creek, 185 00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:01,370 a tributary of the Trout River that feeds into Clearwater Lake. 186 00:07:01,372 --> 00:07:04,539 All three of which now need new names. 187 00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:10,361 So it's time to win one for Mother Earth. 188 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,581 Let's take out the trash, shall we?! 189 00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:14,833 - Yes! - All right, everyone grab a bag. 190 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,635 Blue is recycling, green, compost. 191 00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,637 There we go. 192 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,706 Sheila... 193 00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,825 we're ready to hear your offer. 194 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:37,489 $24,000? 195 00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:45,279 Yeah , that seems reasonable. 196 00:07:48,478 --> 00:07:50,342 Kids, I was wandering the city 197 00:07:50,343 --> 00:07:52,324 with 25 Intro to Architecture students 198 00:07:52,325 --> 00:07:54,359 when your Uncle Barney came to my rescue. 199 00:07:54,361 --> 00:07:57,996 Okay, guys, seeing a building get built, not that exciting. 200 00:07:57,998 --> 00:08:00,698 What's really exciting is the financial side of... 201 00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,166 Sit down, Ted, I got this. 202 00:08:02,168 --> 00:08:05,420 Hey, Weird Beard, lights! 203 00:08:05,422 --> 00:08:07,705 College... it's a confusing time. 204 00:08:07,707 --> 00:08:08,806 Oh, no. 205 00:08:08,808 --> 00:08:12,527 Studies show that 83% of all college students 206 00:08:12,529 --> 00:08:14,562 desperately need... 207 00:08:14,564 --> 00:08:16,548 sex lessons! 208 00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:18,433 Lights! 209 00:08:18,435 --> 00:08:20,585 Barney, these are 18-year-olds! 210 00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,921 Ted, these are 18-year-olds! 211 00:08:23,923 --> 00:08:26,257 You have a girlfriend. 212 00:08:26,259 --> 00:08:27,475 But she doesn't like Ewoks! 213 00:08:27,477 --> 00:08:28,359 So what? 214 00:08:28,361 --> 00:08:32,447 So what?! Bieber, lights! 215 00:08:32,449 --> 00:08:37,986 In 1983, George Lucas introduced the world to the Ewoks, 216 00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:41,723 a race of creatures indigenous to the second moon of Endor. 217 00:08:41,725 --> 00:08:43,725 Now, the Ewoks have a rich back-story 218 00:08:43,727 --> 00:08:45,126 that the movie didn't really go into. 219 00:08:45,128 --> 00:08:46,294 Barney, why don't you just skip 220 00:08:46,296 --> 00:08:48,379 to the part about you and Nora? 221 00:08:48,381 --> 00:08:50,131 Fine. 222 00:08:59,558 --> 00:09:00,958 Ah, yes. 223 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:05,229 Ultimately, Ewoks split Star Wars fandom into two camps: 224 00:09:05,231 --> 00:09:10,318 those born before, and those born after May 25, 1973: 225 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,521 the Ewok Line. 226 00:09:13,523 --> 00:09:16,608 Anyone born on this side of the Ewok Line was 227 00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:19,010 at least ten years old when Jedi came out, 228 00:09:19,012 --> 00:09:23,314 and thus too old for something so cloying and cute. 229 00:09:23,316 --> 00:09:30,254 Anyone born on this side loved the Ewoks because, why? 230 00:09:31,373 --> 00:09:33,291 They reminded you of... 231 00:09:33,293 --> 00:09:34,375 Our teddies? 232 00:09:34,377 --> 00:09:36,844 They reminded you of your teddies. 233 00:09:36,846 --> 00:09:38,680 Thank you, Gina. 234 00:09:38,682 --> 00:09:40,465 How do you know her name? 235 00:09:40,467 --> 00:09:45,002 And so... by the immutable laws of the Ewok Line, 236 00:09:45,004 --> 00:09:49,474 my 29-year-old girlfriend who hates Ewoks 237 00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:55,196 must in fact be no younger than... 37. 238 00:09:55,198 --> 00:09:57,482 That's only a year younger than Will's mom. 239 00:09:57,484 --> 00:09:59,701 How do you know my mom? Class dismissed! 240 00:09:59,703 --> 00:10:01,202 I need to be alone. 241 00:10:01,204 --> 00:10:02,687 All right, we're moving on. 242 00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,072 Ooh, can I come? 243 00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:06,157 Hey, baby. 244 00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:09,661 Hey, I just want to remind you we have Dr. Sonya at 4:00. 245 00:10:09,663 --> 00:10:12,363 I'll be there. I'm sorry. I'm just... I'm bummed. 246 00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,916 We got our settlement offer today: 247 00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:18,202 $24,000 from a billion-dollar company. 248 00:10:18,204 --> 00:10:20,655 Wow. I take it people aren't happy about that. 249 00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:23,708 We won! Champagne and cake for everybody! 250 00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,842 They're celebrating. 251 00:10:24,844 --> 00:10:25,843 I mean, it's crazy. 252 00:10:25,845 --> 00:10:28,312 We have no right to be eating cake. 253 00:10:28,314 --> 00:10:30,732 There's cake?! I'm on my way! 254 00:10:30,734 --> 00:10:34,218 Meanwhile, the worst field trip of all time was still trucking. 255 00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:37,188 All right, this, this is exciting, okay? 256 00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:38,573 This is the very room 257 00:10:38,575 --> 00:10:41,025 where I had the idea for the GNB Tower. 258 00:10:41,027 --> 00:10:43,894 Now, Webster's defines "inspiration" as... 259 00:10:43,896 --> 00:10:46,581 Hold on. It's still loading. 260 00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:47,582 Uh, hey, roomie. 261 00:10:47,584 --> 00:10:50,284 Robin! Hey, what are you doing here? 262 00:10:50,286 --> 00:10:53,037 Well, I was about to get my swerve on. 263 00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:54,922 You were? 264 00:10:54,924 --> 00:10:57,341 So you're the therapist. 265 00:10:57,343 --> 00:11:00,461 You know, it's one thing to pretend to be a shrink 266 00:11:00,463 --> 00:11:02,513 and bang your patients. That's normal. 267 00:11:02,515 --> 00:11:06,217 But to do it for real? A little creepy, bro. 268 00:11:06,219 --> 00:11:07,802 Okay, it's not creepy. 269 00:11:07,804 --> 00:11:09,887 Ehhhh... it's creepy. 270 00:11:09,889 --> 00:11:11,723 Class, show of hands: 271 00:11:11,725 --> 00:11:14,592 Who thinks it's creepy to date your therapist? 272 00:11:14,594 --> 00:11:16,227 - Pollstered. - Get out! 273 00:11:16,229 --> 00:11:18,262 All right. We're moving on! 274 00:11:18,264 --> 00:11:19,597 So, class, to your left, 275 00:11:19,599 --> 00:11:22,283 you will see some excellent examples of 276 00:11:22,285 --> 00:11:25,953 what we'd call windows. 277 00:11:25,955 --> 00:11:27,789 So where are we going now? 278 00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:28,790 I have no idea. 279 00:11:28,792 --> 00:11:30,291 This is a disaster. 280 00:11:30,293 --> 00:11:32,276 Some of them are already starting to go home. 281 00:11:32,278 --> 00:11:34,962 Although we seem to have picked up a German family. 282 00:11:34,964 --> 00:11:36,881 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 283 00:11:36,883 --> 00:11:39,617 That thing with Robin and her creepy therapist 284 00:11:39,619 --> 00:11:40,618 gave me an idea. 285 00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:42,587 Ted, we have here a way 286 00:11:42,589 --> 00:11:45,456 to solve every single debate we've ever had! 287 00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:47,291 I mean, just look at the sample: 288 00:11:47,293 --> 00:11:50,344 guys, girls, blacks, Asians, a German family. 289 00:11:50,346 --> 00:11:52,930 You can't pay for that kind of focus group! 290 00:11:52,932 --> 00:11:55,633 Is macaroni salad really a salad? 291 00:11:55,635 --> 00:11:57,134 Hands up if you say "no." 292 00:11:58,136 --> 00:11:59,153 Ha! 293 00:11:59,155 --> 00:12:00,154 Jacob or Edward? 294 00:12:00,156 --> 00:12:01,138 Who says Edward? 295 00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:03,107 Ha, ha. See? I told you. 296 00:12:03,109 --> 00:12:05,493 It's Edward James Olmos. 297 00:12:05,495 --> 00:12:09,163 Would you rather have sex with a dead human being 298 00:12:09,165 --> 00:12:11,916 or a live an...? Dude. 299 00:12:11,918 --> 00:12:13,484 What? Find the line. 300 00:12:13,486 --> 00:12:15,953 Who thinks David Hasselhoff is awesome? 301 00:12:16,922 --> 00:12:18,623 Hmm. It's true. 302 00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:20,341 Okay. I've got one. If you're dating a girl, 303 00:12:20,343 --> 00:12:21,843 and she lies about her age, 304 00:12:21,845 --> 00:12:23,811 who says break up with her? 305 00:12:23,813 --> 00:12:26,047 Yes, yes, but what if the person she's lying to 306 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,165 is notoriously shallow about age? 307 00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:30,518 Okay, but what if early in our relationship, 308 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,853 she made a really big deal 309 00:12:31,855 --> 00:12:33,471 about wanting to not lie to each other? 310 00:12:34,356 --> 00:12:35,523 What if she's hot? 311 00:12:36,391 --> 00:12:37,558 Who wants five bucks? 312 00:12:38,477 --> 00:12:40,144 Pollstered! 313 00:12:40,146 --> 00:12:41,646 Let's do this. 314 00:12:46,034 --> 00:12:47,852 Hmm? Yeah. 315 00:12:48,872 --> 00:12:49,871 Mm... 316 00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:51,372 Okay, this is creepy. 317 00:12:51,374 --> 00:12:52,874 It's Crispin Glover creepy. 318 00:12:52,876 --> 00:12:54,292 You were my patient. 319 00:12:54,294 --> 00:12:55,576 You shared intimate stuff. 320 00:12:55,578 --> 00:12:57,378 It would be like dating your gynecologist. 321 00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:59,497 You were vulnerable. 322 00:12:59,499 --> 00:13:01,999 That's not something we can move past. 323 00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:04,168 Guess not. 324 00:13:05,087 --> 00:13:08,389 So, dating your gyno, that's bad, too? 325 00:13:08,391 --> 00:13:09,557 Oh, Robin. 326 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:11,259 Kidding! 327 00:13:11,261 --> 00:13:12,960 Look, we've got another one! 328 00:13:14,981 --> 00:13:16,380 Come on, have a bite. 329 00:13:16,382 --> 00:13:18,266 No, it's a matter of principle. 330 00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:19,734 I don't care how good it is, 331 00:13:19,736 --> 00:13:21,352 I'm not gonna have a third piece of cake! 332 00:13:21,354 --> 00:13:25,389 Okay, guys, you all had a lot of fun today, 333 00:13:25,391 --> 00:13:28,276 but now it's time... to have even more fun! 334 00:13:28,278 --> 00:13:30,478 Another cake! 335 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,246 Another cake?! 336 00:13:32,248 --> 00:13:34,198 What is the matter with you people?! 337 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:38,736 That settlement today was a flaming pile of... 338 00:13:38,738 --> 00:13:40,638 puppies... 339 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,423 that aren't on fire! 340 00:13:42,425 --> 00:13:44,592 Look at what's happening to the environment, 341 00:13:44,594 --> 00:13:46,294 and we're here doing the limbo? 342 00:13:46,296 --> 00:13:49,380 I mean, we should be ashamed of ourselves! 343 00:13:57,723 --> 00:14:00,391 Sir, all I meant was... 344 00:14:00,393 --> 00:14:02,777 Ten years from right now, 345 00:14:02,779 --> 00:14:05,930 everyone outside in that bullpen will be dead. 346 00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,398 What? 347 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,317 I've seen the latest research, Marsh. 348 00:14:09,319 --> 00:14:10,885 You know how I'm always saying 349 00:14:10,887 --> 00:14:12,904 it's not too late to save the planet? 350 00:14:12,906 --> 00:14:14,939 It's too late to save the planet. 351 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:18,125 There's nothing to do but sit back 352 00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:21,812 and await our inevitable doom. 353 00:14:23,216 --> 00:14:24,782 Oh, my goodness, a piñata! 354 00:14:24,784 --> 00:14:26,217 Just give me one minute, Larry. 355 00:14:26,219 --> 00:14:27,785 Thank you. 356 00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:31,138 Our grotesque, inevitable doom! 357 00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:33,925 Now, of course, you can't go around 358 00:14:33,927 --> 00:14:34,976 telling all the people 359 00:14:34,978 --> 00:14:36,727 that the good ship Environmentalism 360 00:14:36,729 --> 00:14:38,295 has sailed off into the sunset. 361 00:14:38,297 --> 00:14:39,931 There would cause a panic. 362 00:14:39,933 --> 00:14:41,782 So, instead, what we do is, 363 00:14:41,784 --> 00:14:44,235 we come to work, we put on a happy face, 364 00:14:44,237 --> 00:14:46,487 and we sue the big guys 365 00:14:46,489 --> 00:14:48,973 for just enough money for some cake 366 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:53,444 before the unfiltered rays of the sun fry us like chalupas, 367 00:14:53,446 --> 00:14:56,414 and our lungs fill up with salt water, 368 00:14:56,416 --> 00:14:58,833 and we all die! 369 00:14:58,835 --> 00:15:01,419 Mmm. This cake is delicious. Everything's fine. 370 00:15:05,595 --> 00:15:06,645 Ugh, this day sucks. 371 00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,203 Kevin and I are kaputski. 372 00:15:09,205 --> 00:15:10,821 You think that's bad? 373 00:15:10,823 --> 00:15:13,157 The world is coming to an end. 374 00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:15,059 You think that's bad? 375 00:15:15,061 --> 00:15:19,196 My girlfriend is 37! 376 00:15:19,198 --> 00:15:22,500 And my field trip is not going as well as I'd hoped. 377 00:15:22,502 --> 00:15:24,652 Hmm. 378 00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:26,554 This day sucks. 379 00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:29,173 Professor Mosby, is the field trip over? 380 00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:31,008 We'd like to go home. 381 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,593 Yeah, it's over. 382 00:15:32,595 --> 00:15:34,762 Auf wiedersehen. 383 00:15:34,764 --> 00:15:36,430 I just wanted to inspire them, 384 00:15:36,432 --> 00:15:39,883 you know, like my professors inspired me. 385 00:15:39,885 --> 00:15:43,104 But here we are, at the end of the day... 386 00:15:43,106 --> 00:15:44,655 Hey, class, quick question. 387 00:15:44,657 --> 00:15:47,408 Uh, is anyone here thinking of becoming an architect? 388 00:15:52,614 --> 00:15:54,749 Really? 389 00:15:54,751 --> 00:15:56,918 Yeah, dude. I mean, 390 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,569 all jobs suck, 391 00:15:58,571 --> 00:16:00,571 but it's 4:00 in the afternoon, 392 00:16:00,573 --> 00:16:02,540 and you're out at a bar with your friends, 393 00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,759 so the hours can't be that bad. 394 00:16:04,761 --> 00:16:06,377 So... 395 00:16:06,379 --> 00:16:08,763 yeah, I don't know, I'd think about it. 396 00:16:08,765 --> 00:16:12,082 I got through to you. Oh! 397 00:16:12,084 --> 00:16:15,753 I mean, that is, if becoming a deejay doesn't pan out. 398 00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:18,973 You are gonna be a great architect. 399 00:16:18,975 --> 00:16:21,091 He became a deejay. 400 00:16:23,762 --> 00:16:25,062 Robin, what are you doing here? 401 00:16:25,064 --> 00:16:26,604 I told you I can't be your therapist. 402 00:16:26,629 --> 00:16:27,449 I know. 403 00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:29,933 Today, I am your therapist. 404 00:16:29,935 --> 00:16:30,934 What? 405 00:16:30,936 --> 00:16:32,153 You said yourself, 406 00:16:32,155 --> 00:16:34,405 I'm always looking for reasons not to be happy. 407 00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:36,324 Well, I'm trying to change that. 408 00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:38,442 So, if the only reason we can't be together 409 00:16:38,444 --> 00:16:40,444 is because I was in a vulnerable place 410 00:16:40,446 --> 00:16:42,129 for the first two hours we knew each other 411 00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:46,417 then that is two hours of vulnerability you owe me. 412 00:16:47,302 --> 00:16:48,336 Sit down. 413 00:16:48,338 --> 00:16:50,287 Okay. 414 00:16:50,289 --> 00:16:54,809 Okay, but I must warn you, as a professional, I'm immune to... 415 00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:55,776 Tell me about your mother. 416 00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:57,924 Everything she says is a manipulation! 417 00:16:57,963 --> 00:16:59,263 When I was seven years old... 418 00:16:59,265 --> 00:17:00,931 Mr. Cootes. 419 00:17:00,933 --> 00:17:02,817 - Hey. - Listen, I've been thinking 420 00:17:02,819 --> 00:17:04,735 a lot about what you said yesterday, 421 00:17:04,737 --> 00:17:06,270 about how we're all gonna die. 422 00:17:06,272 --> 00:17:07,571 Oh, I'm not gonna die. 423 00:17:07,573 --> 00:17:10,691 I bought an old mine shaft in Colorado. 424 00:17:10,693 --> 00:17:13,728 I've spent the last six months filling it with canned goods, 425 00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:16,864 assault rifles and all five seasons of Friday Night Lights. 426 00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:19,750 Okay, first of all, you can skip season two. 427 00:17:19,752 --> 00:17:23,153 Second of all, after our talk... 428 00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:26,741 I came pretty close to giving up myself. 429 00:17:26,743 --> 00:17:30,294 But then I went to the doctor with my wife... 430 00:17:30,296 --> 00:17:31,295 and... 431 00:17:32,632 --> 00:17:34,932 I saw this. 432 00:17:36,935 --> 00:17:39,370 Boy or girl? 433 00:17:39,372 --> 00:17:41,505 I don't know. 434 00:17:41,507 --> 00:17:44,275 But I know I sure as hell can't give up now. 435 00:17:44,277 --> 00:17:46,727 So, if you're just looking for someone 436 00:17:46,729 --> 00:17:49,113 to hold the other end of the limbo stick, 437 00:17:49,115 --> 00:17:52,199 you got the wrong guy for the job, and you know why? 438 00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:54,952 'Cause you're three feet taller than everyone in this office? 439 00:17:54,954 --> 00:17:57,955 No. Because if I am gonna work here, 440 00:17:57,957 --> 00:17:59,790 then first thing tomorrow morning, 441 00:17:59,792 --> 00:18:01,859 I'm walking down to Gruber Pharmaceuticals, 442 00:18:01,861 --> 00:18:03,828 and I'm rejecting their offer. 443 00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:06,163 Even if I have to do it myself. 444 00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:12,670 Listen, I want you to know... I know. 445 00:18:12,672 --> 00:18:13,671 Know what? 446 00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:15,272 Nora. 447 00:18:15,274 --> 00:18:16,674 Barney. 448 00:18:16,676 --> 00:18:17,708 Nora. 449 00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:19,209 Just say what you're gonna say! 450 00:18:19,211 --> 00:18:20,594 I know you're old! 451 00:18:20,596 --> 00:18:23,147 And I've been struggling with it, 452 00:18:23,149 --> 00:18:26,049 but when I look at you... 453 00:18:26,051 --> 00:18:28,385 I don't care, because I really like you. 454 00:18:28,387 --> 00:18:33,557 And because for 37, you are keeping it toit! 455 00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:35,860 You think I'm 37? 456 00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:37,812 Well, if you were really 29, 457 00:18:37,837 --> 00:18:39,107 then you would have been a little kid 458 00:18:39,115 --> 00:18:41,999 the first time you saw the Ewoks and you would have loved them. 459 00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:43,464 Barney, I didn't see any of the Star Wars 460 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:44,934 movies until last year. 461 00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:49,874 You... you're 29! 462 00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,076 You still have one good year left. 463 00:18:53,078 --> 00:18:55,262 - What? - Nothing. 464 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,797 Mm... 465 00:18:56,799 --> 00:18:58,466 But Naveen's the neurosurgeon, 466 00:18:58,468 --> 00:19:00,584 so of course he gets all the attention! 467 00:19:00,586 --> 00:19:01,886 Oh, Naveen is so smart, 468 00:19:01,888 --> 00:19:04,805 he operates on people's brains! 469 00:19:04,807 --> 00:19:06,891 Well, guess what, Mom?! 470 00:19:06,893 --> 00:19:09,610 I treat the human mind! 471 00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:11,612 Our time is up. 472 00:19:12,932 --> 00:19:14,698 I don't think this is gonna work. 473 00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:16,400 I scared you off, didn't I? 474 00:19:16,402 --> 00:19:20,154 No, I mean, I don't think I can be your therapist. 475 00:19:20,156 --> 00:19:22,790 You're really cute. 476 00:19:24,059 --> 00:19:25,476 The next day, 477 00:19:25,478 --> 00:19:27,661 Marshall returned to Gruber Pharmaceuticals alone. 478 00:19:27,663 --> 00:19:30,781 I mean, you admit that you polluted the lake. 479 00:19:30,783 --> 00:19:31,949 We got the evidence. 480 00:19:31,951 --> 00:19:33,951 We got the charts. 481 00:19:33,953 --> 00:19:36,137 The fish... 482 00:19:37,556 --> 00:19:39,673 Fish, huh? 483 00:19:39,675 --> 00:19:41,559 Fish are weird. 484 00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:44,195 You ever think about the names of fish? 485 00:19:44,197 --> 00:19:45,679 I mean, come on. 486 00:19:45,681 --> 00:19:46,964 Carp. 487 00:19:46,966 --> 00:19:49,900 Garrison, what a nice surprise. 488 00:19:49,902 --> 00:19:52,403 Your star apprentice was just, uh... 489 00:19:52,405 --> 00:19:54,071 "Floundering." 490 00:19:54,073 --> 00:19:56,073 Little, little fish humor 491 00:19:56,075 --> 00:19:57,408 for you guys. 492 00:19:57,410 --> 00:19:58,742 It was not going well. 493 00:19:58,744 --> 00:20:01,445 I'm here to turn down the 24,000. 494 00:20:01,447 --> 00:20:05,332 Well, I can maybe get you 24,500. 495 00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:10,871 Not... good... enough. 496 00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:17,160 Where are we going? 497 00:20:17,162 --> 00:20:19,430 To war, son. 498 00:20:19,432 --> 00:20:22,216 We're going to war. 499 00:20:23,668 --> 00:20:26,387 We're going to save the planet. 500 00:20:26,389 --> 00:20:31,475 And kids, as we now know, they did. 501 00:20:34,364 --> 00:20:35,831 Hey, you know what was on last night? 502 00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:37,203 - Stand and Deliver. - Mm. 503 00:20:37,228 --> 00:20:38,428 - So good. - Mm-hmm. 504 00:20:38,752 --> 00:20:41,403 Whatever happened to Jacob James Olmos? 505 00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:42,604 Who? 506 00:20:42,606 --> 00:20:45,574 Jacob James Olmos. Whatever happened to that guy? 507 00:20:45,576 --> 00:20:47,275 He never existed. 508 00:20:47,277 --> 00:20:48,543 It's Edward James Olmos. 509 00:20:48,545 --> 00:20:50,245 You're Olmos correct. 510 00:20:50,247 --> 00:20:52,614 It's Jacob James Olmos. 511 00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:54,666 - It's Edward James Olmos. - Jacob James Olmos. 512 00:20:54,668 --> 00:20:56,337 Edward James Olmos. 513 00:20:56,362 --> 00:20:57,379 - You're joking, right...? - Are you serious...? 514 00:20:57,404 --> 00:20:59,165 - Seriously. - Jacob James Olmos.