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00:00:01,555 --> 00:00:03,372
Kids, in the fall of 2011,
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00:00:03,374 --> 00:00:05,424
all of my friends
were in relationships.
3
00:00:05,897 --> 00:00:07,630
So when Barney's brother James
came to visit,
4
00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:10,166
it created
a slight logistical problem.
5
00:00:12,002 --> 00:00:14,120
We're gonna need a bigger booth.
6
00:00:14,122 --> 00:00:15,972
I'm gonna go
to the loo.
7
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,173
I don't actually
have to go,
8
00:00:17,175 --> 00:00:19,175
I just want a seat
all to myself.
9
00:00:22,146 --> 00:00:24,814
So, would anyone care
to ask me where
10
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,516
Nora and I are
going tonight?
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00:00:26,518 --> 00:00:27,984
Don't ask him.
It's a trap.
12
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,487
- Where you going?
- Come on, man, for God's sake!
13
00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:32,856
Bootytown, Kevin!
14
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,640
We are finally going
to Bootytown.
15
00:00:34,642 --> 00:00:36,826
And that's why
we don't ask him.
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00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:39,863
I'm thinking I'm gonna hop on
the Long Thighland Expressway,
17
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:42,749
stop off for a nibble
in Breastport,
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00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,701
and then, with any luck,
19
00:00:44,703 --> 00:00:48,137
I'll be pulling into
the Pork Authority by midnight.
20
00:00:48,139 --> 00:00:50,507
Wait. You're finally
going to Bootytown?
21
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:52,258
Look, we just don't want
to rush anything, okay?
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00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:55,428
So we decided to wait
until she decides
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00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,130
to let me have sex
with her.
24
00:00:57,132 --> 00:00:59,165
And that's
gonna be tonight!
25
00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:00,850
How do you
know for sure?
26
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,886
Ah, something
she said earlier.
27
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:05,522
Guess what, my sweet boy,
28
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:08,841
I've got a special treat
for you tonight.
29
00:01:11,679 --> 00:01:13,512
Oh, yeah, you're going
to Bootytown.
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00:01:13,514 --> 00:01:14,781
Hello again, my darlings.
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00:01:15,783 --> 00:01:17,367
Barney, I hope you're ready
for tonight.
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00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,018
Because you're gonna have
to use muscles
33
00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:20,236
you haven't used in years.
34
00:01:20,238 --> 00:01:21,654
I am?
35
00:01:21,656 --> 00:01:23,289
Yes.
36
00:01:23,291 --> 00:01:25,375
And I hope you have
some aspirin at home,
37
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,377
because your arse is gonna be
killing you tomorrow.
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00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:28,912
It is?
39
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:29,746
Indeed.
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00:01:29,748 --> 00:01:30,797
Because tonight...
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00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,866
I'm strapping on this.
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00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:35,301
We're going skating!
43
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:37,253
The Pork Authority's
closed.
44
00:01:37,255 --> 00:01:38,871
Looks like it's Hand
Central Station
45
00:01:38,873 --> 00:01:40,039
for you, little buddy.
46
00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:43,726
So that's your special treat?
47
00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:45,094
Ice skating?
48
00:01:45,096 --> 00:01:46,763
Of course.
49
00:01:46,765 --> 00:01:48,715
And after that,
we're gonna shag.
50
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,100
We're going ice skating,
everybody!
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00:01:51,124 --> 00:01:57,124
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com
52
00:02:06,218 --> 00:02:08,352
Ask me what
I think of Nora.
53
00:02:08,354 --> 00:02:09,821
What do you think of Nora?
54
00:02:09,823 --> 00:02:10,988
Lovely girl.
55
00:02:10,990 --> 00:02:12,907
Ask me what
I really think of her.
56
00:02:12,909 --> 00:02:14,225
What do you really
think of her?
57
00:02:14,227 --> 00:02:16,027
Guys, she's great, seriously.
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00:02:16,029 --> 00:02:17,662
Just drop it.
59
00:02:17,664 --> 00:02:18,946
Ask me one more time.
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00:02:18,948 --> 00:02:20,448
What do you really think?
61
00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,083
Fine! If you really must know,
62
00:02:22,085 --> 00:02:24,168
I do not like Barney
with that woman!
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00:02:24,170 --> 00:02:26,087
Happy?
64
00:02:26,089 --> 00:02:28,756
What could you possibly
not like about Nora?
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00:02:28,758 --> 00:02:30,842
Her hair?
Her mousy little nose?
66
00:02:30,844 --> 00:02:33,094
The way she does
everything perfectly?
67
00:02:33,096 --> 00:02:35,046
I mean, what's not to like?
68
00:02:35,048 --> 00:02:38,800
It's not that I don't like her.
It's just...
69
00:02:38,802 --> 00:02:40,268
She's our mom.
70
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,086
What do you mean,
she's your mom?
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00:02:42,088 --> 00:02:45,690
Everything about her
is vaguely our mom-like.
72
00:02:45,692 --> 00:02:46,691
The British accent...
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00:02:46,693 --> 00:02:48,226
Hello again, my darlings.
74
00:02:48,228 --> 00:02:50,111
Mom's obsessed
with Julie Andrews,
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00:02:50,113 --> 00:02:51,562
so when we were growing up...
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00:02:51,564 --> 00:02:54,315
Hello again, my darlings.
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00:02:54,317 --> 00:02:55,316
- Come here, you.
- Hey.
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00:02:55,318 --> 00:02:56,451
And the way she hugs him.
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00:02:56,453 --> 00:02:58,453
Left hand on the nape
of the neck,
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00:02:58,455 --> 00:03:00,655
three gentle strokes on
the back with the right?
81
00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:02,206
Come here, you.
82
00:03:02,208 --> 00:03:04,325
Trademark Loretta Stinson.
83
00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:05,793
But here's the clincher...
84
00:03:05,795 --> 00:03:07,078
Guess what, my sweet boy.
85
00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,963
Guess what
my sweet boy.
86
00:03:08,965 --> 00:03:11,782
I've got a special treat
for you tonight.
87
00:03:11,784 --> 00:03:15,303
I've got a special
treat for you tonight.
88
00:03:15,305 --> 00:03:16,504
Ice cream!
89
00:03:19,342 --> 00:03:21,008
They're coming.
Be cool.
90
00:03:21,010 --> 00:03:22,793
Forgot my raincoat.
91
00:03:22,795 --> 00:03:24,979
That makes one of us.
92
00:03:26,982 --> 00:03:28,483
Well, shall we?
93
00:03:28,485 --> 00:03:29,901
We shall.
94
00:03:34,323 --> 00:03:38,242
Ooh, don't wear out
that tongue, Barney.
95
00:03:39,161 --> 00:03:41,078
Don't wait up.
96
00:03:43,749 --> 00:03:46,334
I mean, sure, Barney has slept
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00:03:46,336 --> 00:03:49,003
with plenty
of other people's mothers.
98
00:03:50,672 --> 00:03:52,089
But now he's gonna sleep
with ours?
99
00:03:52,091 --> 00:03:54,458
Psychologically speaking,
it's perfectly normal
100
00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:56,644
to wind up with someone
like your parents.
101
00:03:56,646 --> 00:03:59,997
Thanks to my mom, I'll probably
wind up with someone
102
00:03:59,999 --> 00:04:02,066
who loves my brother
more than me.
103
00:04:02,068 --> 00:04:03,334
Well, psychologically
speaking,
104
00:04:03,336 --> 00:04:04,752
I'm gonna go
throw up now.
105
00:04:04,754 --> 00:04:06,854
Oh...
106
00:04:06,856 --> 00:04:08,672
Ugh! This baby
is making it
107
00:04:08,674 --> 00:04:10,858
so I can't button
my pants anymore.
108
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,977
Big whoop.
In 55 years,
109
00:04:12,979 --> 00:04:15,363
I don't think my dad
buttoned his pants even once.
110
00:04:15,365 --> 00:04:16,981
And somehow, despite
sweet talk like that,
111
00:04:16,983 --> 00:04:19,317
I don't feel sexy anymore.
112
00:04:19,319 --> 00:04:20,851
Are you kidding?
113
00:04:20,853 --> 00:04:23,371
I mean, you're-you're
even sexier now
114
00:04:23,373 --> 00:04:25,206
that you're rounding out.
115
00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:28,793
I mean, you're even
more sexy simply
116
00:04:28,795 --> 00:04:30,545
because there's so
much more of you.
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00:04:32,048 --> 00:04:33,798
I'm never gonna get
in the mood while
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00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,050
your mammoth Eriksen seed
is muffin-topping
119
00:04:36,052 --> 00:04:38,586
the bodiddly out of me.
120
00:04:38,588 --> 00:04:40,922
Are you saying,
"No erky-erky
121
00:04:40,924 --> 00:04:42,557
until this baby
pops out"?
122
00:04:42,559 --> 00:04:44,926
Okay, that's it.
123
00:04:44,928 --> 00:04:47,511
I-I am making it my mission
to help you feel sexy again.
124
00:04:47,513 --> 00:04:49,597
I don't care how much
more bloated you get.
125
00:04:49,599 --> 00:04:51,182
I'll get the
next round!
126
00:04:51,184 --> 00:04:53,100
Kevin!
Yay, Kevin, thank you!
127
00:04:53,102 --> 00:04:54,551
So, Ted, you're cool
128
00:04:54,553 --> 00:04:55,570
with Kevin, right?
129
00:04:55,572 --> 00:04:57,488
I know he's been
over a lot lately.
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00:04:57,490 --> 00:05:00,557
Oh, yeah, yeah, Kevin's great.
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00:05:00,559 --> 00:05:04,495
I mean, there was, like,
one weird thing the other day...
132
00:05:08,884 --> 00:05:10,484
He was just standing
there in his boxers?
133
00:05:10,486 --> 00:05:11,485
Yeah.
134
00:05:11,487 --> 00:05:13,087
I'll talk to him.
135
00:05:14,756 --> 00:05:15,923
Ted...
136
00:05:16,574 --> 00:05:19,176
be honest.
137
00:05:19,178 --> 00:05:20,845
You'd bang Lily, right?
138
00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:23,381
So, later that night,
139
00:05:23,383 --> 00:05:25,349
Barney and Nora went skating.
140
00:05:25,351 --> 00:05:27,718
Hey, kid, you know
how your mom won't
141
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,937
let you have ice cream
till after dinner?
142
00:05:29,939 --> 00:05:33,224
But then the waiting
kind of makes it taste better?
143
00:05:33,226 --> 00:05:35,276
Well, I've been waiting
two months
144
00:05:35,278 --> 00:05:37,728
for that bowl
of ice cream.
145
00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:41,098
And tonight,
I'm gonna have sex with it.
146
00:05:46,405 --> 00:05:48,072
Look, Barney,
one foot!
147
00:05:48,074 --> 00:05:49,606
Oh!
148
00:05:49,608 --> 00:05:51,575
Now, kids, for most guys,
149
00:05:51,577 --> 00:05:54,795
this would have meant
the end of the date.
150
00:05:54,797 --> 00:05:58,466
But your Uncle Barney
is not most guys.
151
00:05:58,468 --> 00:06:00,451
I can turn this around.
152
00:06:07,008 --> 00:06:08,118
Well, I'm impressed
that you know
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00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:09,252
a 24-hour dentist.
154
00:06:09,254 --> 00:06:10,670
Oh, yeah.
155
00:06:10,672 --> 00:06:12,255
He can also give you tattoos,
156
00:06:12,257 --> 00:06:14,340
do your taxes
and alter a suit.
157
00:06:14,342 --> 00:06:16,676
But I wouldn't trust him
with a suit 'cause...
158
00:06:18,797 --> 00:06:21,180
Speaking of drinking,
you want to...?
159
00:06:21,182 --> 00:06:22,432
No, Barney.
160
00:06:22,434 --> 00:06:23,916
Tonight's been
a disaster.
161
00:06:23,918 --> 00:06:26,185
I think we should just
call it a night.
162
00:06:26,187 --> 00:06:27,887
No! Come on, Nora,
163
00:06:27,889 --> 00:06:31,441
your tooth can't be that bad.
Let me see.
164
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:37,113
W-Which is the fake one again?
165
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:39,598
You look beautiful.
166
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,600
Mmm.
167
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,737
All right, maybe I could go
for one more drink.
168
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:46,272
Great.
169
00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:49,826
It's funny.
170
00:06:49,828 --> 00:06:52,629
Sometimes the most
romantic moments
171
00:06:52,631 --> 00:06:54,380
can just creep up on you...
172
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:06,142
I can turn this around.
173
00:07:06,144 --> 00:07:07,760
Hey, um,
174
00:07:07,762 --> 00:07:10,430
should've mentioned this before,
but, um, Ted and I prefer
175
00:07:10,432 --> 00:07:12,131
that our guests remain
fully clothed in
176
00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:14,467
the public areas
of the apartment.
177
00:07:14,469 --> 00:07:15,801
Been some complaints.
178
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,770
Did Ted say something?
179
00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:19,072
Oh, th-there's been
some complaints.
180
00:07:19,074 --> 00:07:20,473
Not pointing any fingers
or anything,
181
00:07:20,475 --> 00:07:22,942
but let's just keep
those pants on, okay? Good talk.
182
00:07:22,944 --> 00:07:24,810
Well, if Ted said that,
183
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:28,314
I've got something to complain
Ted's nuts.
184
00:07:28,316 --> 00:07:31,534
Okay, yes, Ted is a little
neurotic, but I wouldn't say...
185
00:07:31,536 --> 00:07:34,871
No, no, no, I mean Ted's nuts.
186
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,874
Hi.
187
00:07:37,876 --> 00:07:40,710
Hey.
188
00:07:52,723 --> 00:07:54,691
So what? It's his apartment.
189
00:07:54,693 --> 00:07:56,893
You're taking his side?
190
00:07:56,895 --> 00:07:58,644
Wait, this isn't
one of those classic
191
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,346
"You still have feelings
for your ex-boyfriend,
192
00:08:00,348 --> 00:08:01,948
"who's oddly also your roommate,
193
00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:03,149
"which for the record
I'm totally cool with,
194
00:08:03,151 --> 00:08:04,850
"even though everybody
tells me I've walked
195
00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,452
into a bear trap" things, is it?
196
00:08:06,454 --> 00:08:08,738
No, I just, I feel bad.
197
00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:11,023
Ted's going through
some stuff right now.
198
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:14,410
You eyeballing his deal
is the most action
199
00:08:14,412 --> 00:08:15,795
he's gotten in months.
200
00:08:15,797 --> 00:08:18,081
I'll be nice to him.
201
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,417
So, I was trying
to think of how
202
00:08:21,419 --> 00:08:24,387
to best express
how sexy you are to me.
203
00:08:24,389 --> 00:08:26,005
A song? A poem?
204
00:08:26,007 --> 00:08:28,841
a board game!
205
00:08:28,843 --> 00:08:30,643
You just get women.
206
00:08:30,645 --> 00:08:32,044
No, no, no, you'll like this.
207
00:08:32,046 --> 00:08:35,565
We answer risqué questions
and perform spicy dares
208
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:38,267
to slowly move up
your shapely legs.
209
00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:40,520
I call it Chutes and Lilies.
210
00:08:40,522 --> 00:08:42,522
I would've guessed Monopo-Lily.
211
00:08:42,524 --> 00:08:44,073
Yeah, that would've been better.
212
00:08:44,075 --> 00:08:45,057
Okay, game play.
213
00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:47,226
Roll the die to see
who goes first,
214
00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:50,246
forfeit a turn on a pass--
intended for two-to-six players.
215
00:08:50,248 --> 00:08:53,065
As Marshall explained the many
rules of Chutes and Lilies,
216
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:55,918
Lily thought back
to what Kevin said in the bar.
217
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,838
It's perfectly normal to wind up
with someone like your parents.
218
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,457
And then she thought of
the only other man she knew
219
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:03,326
who loved board games
that much.
220
00:09:03,328 --> 00:09:05,011
I brought Diseases!
221
00:09:05,013 --> 00:09:06,295
Marshgammon.
222
00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:07,880
Dog Fight Promoter!
223
00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:09,632
Lilial Pursuit.
224
00:09:13,137 --> 00:09:15,438
And that's how you play
the game.
225
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:16,556
Oh, wait.
226
00:09:16,558 --> 00:09:18,474
I forgot to tell you
what happens
227
00:09:18,476 --> 00:09:20,643
if I land on "community chest."
228
00:09:20,645 --> 00:09:21,944
Honk-honk.
229
00:09:25,066 --> 00:09:26,432
I just want to go home,
230
00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:28,601
take a long bath
and go to bed.
231
00:09:28,603 --> 00:09:29,619
No!
232
00:09:29,621 --> 00:09:31,937
I mean, come on.
233
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:34,624
My place is so much closer.
234
00:09:34,626 --> 00:09:36,242
I'll-I'll draw you a bath,
235
00:09:36,244 --> 00:09:39,778
pour you some champagne,
we can forget all about this.
236
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:43,082
All right,
that sounds good.
237
00:09:47,505 --> 00:09:48,721
That bath was
wonderful.
238
00:09:48,723 --> 00:09:50,089
- Thank you.
- Of course.
239
00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:52,141
What do you say we go
out on the balcony,
240
00:09:52,143 --> 00:09:53,176
get some fresh air?
241
00:09:53,178 --> 00:09:55,144
Ooh, that sounds lovely.
242
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,232
What a beautiful view.
243
00:09:59,234 --> 00:10:02,151
I couldn't agree more.
244
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,740
Good-bye, cruel world!
245
00:10:07,742 --> 00:10:09,108
Oh, my God!
246
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:11,244
I can turn this around.
247
00:10:11,246 --> 00:10:12,161
Shh.
248
00:10:12,163 --> 00:10:14,080
Ooh!
249
00:10:14,082 --> 00:10:16,999
Ooh! Date night.
250
00:10:17,001 --> 00:10:20,369
You know what? I'll just,
just watch this in my room.
251
00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:22,872
Already had dinner in there,
why not a movie?
252
00:10:22,874 --> 00:10:24,957
You should join us.
253
00:10:24,959 --> 00:10:27,226
Yeah, join us.
254
00:10:27,228 --> 00:10:29,545
No! No, no, no, no, no.
Three's a crowd.
255
00:10:29,547 --> 00:10:31,964
Besides, you guys wouldn't
want to watch this anyway.
256
00:10:31,966 --> 00:10:33,049
Try us.
257
00:10:33,051 --> 00:10:34,267
Well, have you seen Die Hard?
258
00:10:34,269 --> 00:10:35,935
Um, yes.
259
00:10:35,937 --> 00:10:37,336
Okay, the guy who played Argyle
260
00:10:37,338 --> 00:10:40,806
produced this documentary
about coin collecting.
261
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:46,646
Now, I know my sexy
little lady can't resist
262
00:10:46,648 --> 00:10:49,232
a bubble bath,
especially one
263
00:10:49,234 --> 00:10:51,150
with rose petals.
264
00:10:51,152 --> 00:10:53,786
Oh, thanks, baby.
265
00:10:58,409 --> 00:10:59,642
How about a sensual backrub?
266
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,028
Mm.
267
00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,297
- Oh.
- What's the matter, Lilypad?
268
00:11:04,299 --> 00:11:06,082
You love my backrubs.
269
00:11:06,084 --> 00:11:09,418
Ah. I-I do... very much.
270
00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:12,871
Good, because I got you
a brand-
271
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,590
new...
272
00:11:14,592 --> 00:11:16,175
loofah!
273
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,982
Oh, yeah!
274
00:11:22,984 --> 00:11:25,484
Rubs... oh, yeah!
275
00:11:25,486 --> 00:11:28,738
Trying to watch the coin
documentary over here.
276
00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:32,391
Hey, Ted, ever figure out who
you're taking to that concert?
277
00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:33,659
No.
278
00:11:33,661 --> 00:11:35,244
- You want to go?
- Sure.
279
00:11:35,246 --> 00:11:36,712
- Really?
- Awesome!
280
00:11:36,714 --> 00:11:37,947
It's a date!
281
00:11:37,949 --> 00:11:40,416
Now, Kevin,
as a trained psychologist,
282
00:11:40,418 --> 00:11:43,052
knew the appropriate way
to voice his displeasure.
283
00:11:43,054 --> 00:11:45,454
I think we need
to calmly discuss
284
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:48,124
the relationship dynamics
at play here.
285
00:11:48,126 --> 00:11:50,626
I'm uncomfortable
with how close you two are
286
00:11:50,628 --> 00:11:54,130
as roommates, given your
particular romantic history.
287
00:11:54,132 --> 00:11:56,299
Instead, he took
a different approach.
288
00:11:56,301 --> 00:11:58,083
Aw, hell no!
289
00:11:58,085 --> 00:12:00,102
If you can go on a date
with my girlfriend,
290
00:12:00,104 --> 00:12:02,438
I don't have to wear pants
in your apartment!
291
00:12:03,273 --> 00:12:05,274
I can't wait till
this baby comes out
292
00:12:05,276 --> 00:12:07,360
so we can get started
on another one.
293
00:12:07,362 --> 00:12:09,145
Then again,
294
00:12:09,147 --> 00:12:10,479
why wait?
Ew, wait...
295
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:11,930
Get off of me!
296
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:12,898
Damn it!
297
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,200
Ever since Kevin said
298
00:12:14,202 --> 00:12:16,335
it's normal to wind up
with your parents,
299
00:12:16,337 --> 00:12:19,071
I... I keep picturing yo
as my dad.
300
00:12:19,073 --> 00:12:22,274
Lily, that theory is crazy-town.
301
00:12:22,276 --> 00:12:23,209
How do you know?
302
00:12:23,211 --> 00:12:25,411
Because my mother is
six-foot-three,
303
00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:27,463
she buys her clothes
at the drugstore,
304
00:12:27,465 --> 00:12:30,132
and she prefers
to trap her own dinner.
305
00:12:31,134 --> 00:12:32,752
I love you more than anything,
306
00:12:32,754 --> 00:12:34,253
and you're nothing like her.
307
00:12:34,255 --> 00:12:36,339
Aw.
308
00:12:36,341 --> 00:12:38,808
Now, that's how
you turn a girl on.
309
00:12:38,810 --> 00:12:40,393
- Mm...
- Mm...
310
00:12:40,395 --> 00:12:43,312
But then Marshall
really started thinking
311
00:12:43,314 --> 00:12:45,064
about Kevin's theory.
312
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:48,567
Midnight snack.
313
00:12:48,569 --> 00:12:50,353
Midnight snack.
314
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:51,404
Mmm.
315
00:12:51,406 --> 00:12:54,190
Oh, yeah.
316
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:58,411
Oh, yeah...!
317
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:01,947
I am gonna rock...
318
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,366
your...
319
00:13:03,368 --> 00:13:05,584
world.
320
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,623
Yay.
321
00:13:10,625 --> 00:13:12,591
If it's any consolation,
322
00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:16,962
the, uh... the guy stole my
Wall Street Journal once.
323
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:21,684
So... guess the world's kind
of a better place without...
324
00:13:21,686 --> 00:13:25,504
Oh, God, this
night's ruined.
325
00:13:25,506 --> 00:13:27,273
Oh, come here, you.
326
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:33,729
Yes, it's been
a very tough night,
327
00:13:33,731 --> 00:13:36,782
but I still think
we can turn this around.
328
00:13:36,784 --> 00:13:38,401
Really?
329
00:13:38,403 --> 00:13:39,652
Why not?
330
00:13:39,654 --> 00:13:42,121
No sense in letting things
get us down.
331
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,957
How does that song
go again?
332
00:13:44,959 --> 00:13:49,912
♪ Raindrops on roses
and whiskers on kittens ♪
333
00:13:49,914 --> 00:13:53,833
♪ Bright copper kettles
and warm woolen mittens ♪
334
00:13:53,835 --> 00:13:58,537
♪ Brown paper packages tied up
with strings ♪
335
00:13:58,539 --> 00:14:02,875
♪ These are a few
of my favorite things ♪
336
00:14:02,877 --> 00:14:05,010
♪ When the dog bites ♪
337
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,063
♪ When the bee stings ♪
338
00:14:07,065 --> 00:14:11,267
♪ When I'm feeling sad ♪
339
00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:14,770
♪ I simply remember
my favorite things ♪
340
00:14:14,772 --> 00:14:17,890
♪ And then I don't feel ♪
341
00:14:17,892 --> 00:14:21,827
♪ So bad. ♪
342
00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:27,166
Mommy, no.
343
00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:34,302
I want to thank you,
baby, for reminding me of
344
00:14:34,303 --> 00:14:36,370
what a vivacious woman I am.
345
00:14:36,372 --> 00:14:37,371
Yeah.
346
00:14:37,373 --> 00:14:39,623
No, uh, no need really.
347
00:14:39,625 --> 00:14:42,643
Whoa, but I've been
such a naughty girl.
348
00:14:42,645 --> 00:14:45,396
Maybe I need a spanking.
349
00:14:45,398 --> 00:14:48,098
Great. We'll...
350
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:51,035
we'll just skip
the board games
351
00:14:51,037 --> 00:14:56,156
and get right down to me
making love to you.
352
00:14:56,158 --> 00:14:58,325
Oh...
353
00:14:58,327 --> 00:14:59,660
Okay, good, 'cause
354
00:14:59,662 --> 00:15:05,165
I'm gonna ride you
like an unbroken stallion.
355
00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:07,885
Okay.
356
00:15:07,887 --> 00:15:10,554
Giddyup, cowgirl.
357
00:15:15,427 --> 00:15:17,011
No, I can't go
through with this!
358
00:15:17,013 --> 00:15:18,128
Thank God, me neither!
359
00:15:18,130 --> 00:15:19,296
You're too much
like my dad.
360
00:15:19,298 --> 00:15:20,764
You're too much
like my dad.
361
00:15:20,766 --> 00:15:22,933
Your dad?!
362
00:15:22,935 --> 00:15:25,969
Okay, dropping trou--
bad idea.
363
00:15:25,971 --> 00:15:27,655
We're moving on from that.
364
00:15:27,657 --> 00:15:29,323
This guy is a snake.
365
00:15:29,325 --> 00:15:31,025
What?! No.
366
00:15:31,027 --> 00:15:32,526
Ted? He's a nice guy.
367
00:15:32,528 --> 00:15:34,328
A really, really nice guy.
368
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,580
You should be more like him.
369
00:15:36,582 --> 00:15:38,299
Mom, right on schedule.
370
00:15:38,301 --> 00:15:40,334
- What?
- Nothing.
371
00:15:40,336 --> 00:15:41,835
I'm just saying,
you think he's so fragile,
372
00:15:41,837 --> 00:15:43,754
and yet...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, fragile?
373
00:15:43,756 --> 00:15:44,872
You think I'm fragile?
374
00:15:44,874 --> 00:15:46,957
Yeah, fragile like a fox.
375
00:15:46,959 --> 00:15:48,175
First, he tries
376
00:15:48,177 --> 00:15:50,327
scaring me off
with his little peep show.
377
00:15:50,329 --> 00:15:51,762
Then he crashes our movie.
378
00:15:51,764 --> 00:15:55,182
Now, he's got tickets to
some super romantic concert.
379
00:15:55,184 --> 00:15:56,684
It's Weird Al Yankovic.
380
00:15:56,686 --> 00:16:00,504
Okay. But still, who's the first
person he asked to go with him?
381
00:16:00,506 --> 00:16:01,889
My girlfriend.
382
00:16:01,891 --> 00:16:03,507
Oh, man. Okay.
383
00:16:03,509 --> 00:16:06,009
You think I'm the first
person Ted asked?
384
00:16:07,146 --> 00:16:09,780
Ted, am I the first person
you asked?
385
00:16:10,615 --> 00:16:12,316
Marshall...!
386
00:16:12,318 --> 00:16:13,817
You, me, Weird Al.
387
00:16:13,819 --> 00:16:14,768
No thanks, Ted.
388
00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:15,869
Barney...!
389
00:16:15,871 --> 00:16:17,488
I got two tickets
to Weird Al Yan...
390
00:16:18,524 --> 00:16:19,573
Barney?
391
00:16:19,575 --> 00:16:21,458
Lily...!
392
00:16:21,460 --> 00:16:24,128
Come on! You'll be
the hottest girl there!
393
00:16:24,130 --> 00:16:26,080
Okay, you'll be
the only girl there.
394
00:16:26,716 --> 00:16:28,582
Stuart...!
395
00:16:28,584 --> 00:16:30,668
Claudia...!
396
00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:31,885
Brad...!
397
00:16:31,887 --> 00:16:34,054
Nat-alie...!
398
00:16:34,056 --> 00:16:36,223
Trudy...!
399
00:16:36,225 --> 00:16:38,175
Ranjit...!
400
00:16:38,177 --> 00:16:40,711
Carl the bartender...!
401
00:16:40,713 --> 00:16:43,397
Dude from my bodega...!
402
00:16:43,399 --> 00:16:45,983
Steam cleaning coupon guy...!
403
00:16:45,985 --> 00:16:48,085
Mom...!
404
00:16:48,087 --> 00:16:49,737
Please? I'll fly you out.
405
00:16:49,739 --> 00:16:51,739
I don't think so.
406
00:16:51,741 --> 00:16:53,056
I'm sorry, sweet pea.
407
00:16:53,058 --> 00:16:54,975
Is Clint there?
408
00:16:56,811 --> 00:16:58,412
No.
409
00:16:59,214 --> 00:17:01,782
Wow. You really
are pretty fragile.
410
00:17:01,784 --> 00:17:06,236
Look, I'm trying to explain
to you guys that I'm...
411
00:17:06,238 --> 00:17:08,756
Well, how do you
expect me to feel?!
412
00:17:08,758 --> 00:17:10,040
I mean, all I want
413
00:17:10,042 --> 00:17:12,876
is for someone to go
to a Weird Al concert with me,
414
00:17:12,878 --> 00:17:15,379
and I'm stuck going
with my roommate.
415
00:17:15,381 --> 00:17:18,015
Yeah, I might have to
rain-check you there, buddy.
416
00:17:18,017 --> 00:17:19,750
I'm not a Weird Al fan.
417
00:17:19,752 --> 00:17:22,102
He's just a rip-off
of Peculiar Jacques.
418
00:17:25,725 --> 00:17:28,092
Guess I'm going to
this concert alone.
419
00:17:28,094 --> 00:17:29,860
I'll be that weird guy.
420
00:17:29,862 --> 00:17:32,613
I mean, that
other weird guy.
421
00:17:32,615 --> 00:17:34,815
You know, there is one guy
you didn't ask yet.
422
00:17:34,817 --> 00:17:37,534
Someone who happens to be
the biggest Weird Al fan
423
00:17:37,536 --> 00:17:39,319
in the whole world.
424
00:17:39,321 --> 00:17:42,239
Kevin...?
425
00:17:42,241 --> 00:17:43,907
Ted...!
426
00:17:43,909 --> 00:17:46,943
Oh! Oh, you are gonna flip
when you see our tickets.
427
00:17:46,945 --> 00:17:48,495
They're in the shape
of an accordion.
428
00:17:48,497 --> 00:17:49,830
What?!
429
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,052
So, uh, you
like Weird Al?
430
00:17:55,054 --> 00:17:56,587
Not in the slightest.
431
00:18:02,093 --> 00:18:03,927
No, dude, I'm the biggest
Weird Al fan.
432
00:18:03,929 --> 00:18:05,562
I know,
I'm agreeing with you.
433
00:18:05,564 --> 00:18:09,016
Do you know that I gave him the
idea for "Like a Surgeon." Yeah.
434
00:18:09,018 --> 00:18:11,602
Yeah. I wrote him a fan letter,
and then a few months later...
435
00:18:11,604 --> 00:18:14,037
Bam!
Top of the charts!
436
00:18:14,039 --> 00:18:15,989
You guys can eat it.
437
00:18:15,991 --> 00:18:18,575
Just... eat it.
438
00:18:18,577 --> 00:18:19,576
- Hey.
- Hey.
439
00:18:19,578 --> 00:18:21,078
How'd it go with Nora?
440
00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:22,362
Well, among other things,
441
00:18:22,364 --> 00:18:24,665
I realized
Nora's a lot like my mom.
442
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:27,034
I'll bet that
ruined things, huh?
443
00:18:28,504 --> 00:18:31,755
Come on. Barney Stinson
always turns it around.
444
00:18:31,757 --> 00:18:33,323
- How?
- Simple.
445
00:18:33,325 --> 00:18:37,561
I turned...
it... around.
446
00:18:37,563 --> 00:18:40,163
Oh...
Uh-huh? Uh-huh?
447
00:18:40,165 --> 00:18:43,684
So the mom thing wasn't
a total deal breaker, huh?
448
00:18:43,686 --> 00:18:44,752
No!
449
00:18:44,754 --> 00:18:46,937
Guys, my mom is
the best person I know.
450
00:18:46,939 --> 00:18:51,358
If Nora's even the tiniest bit
like her, I'm a lucky guy.
451
00:18:52,610 --> 00:18:54,528
Hey, you know what?
452
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:57,364
I'm a real lucky guy.
453
00:18:57,366 --> 00:18:59,566
'Cause I married my dad.
454
00:18:59,568 --> 00:19:01,068
Aw.
455
00:19:01,070 --> 00:19:05,205
So, uh, you want
to go get luckier?
456
00:19:07,592 --> 00:19:08,909
Bye, guys.
457
00:19:08,911 --> 00:19:10,544
See ya.
458
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:13,964
So, what should
we do now?
459
00:19:13,966 --> 00:19:15,499
"We" should do nothing.
460
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:18,836
You guys get out of here,
go watch your movie.
461
00:19:18,838 --> 00:19:20,254
I'm fine. Really.
462
00:19:20,256 --> 00:19:21,922
- You sure?
- Yeah.
463
00:19:21,924 --> 00:19:23,974
Thanks, buddy.
464
00:19:26,895 --> 00:19:29,980
Uh, hey... hey, Kevin.
465
00:19:29,982 --> 00:19:31,932
I think I'm a clone now.
466
00:19:35,436 --> 00:19:37,204
I'm sorry.
467
00:19:37,206 --> 00:19:38,822
Were you just quoting Weird Al?
468
00:19:38,824 --> 00:19:40,657
I was indeed.
469
00:19:40,659 --> 00:19:43,076
I'm a huge Weird Al fan.
470
00:19:43,078 --> 00:19:45,913
Well, then I need
to buy you a drink.
471
00:19:45,915 --> 00:19:48,165
I'll have a glass of champagne,
sweet pea.
472
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:50,501
One glass of champa--
473
00:19:50,503 --> 00:19:51,785
Sweet pea?
474
00:19:51,787 --> 00:19:56,006
Sure. Meeting
a fellow Weird Al fan?
475
00:19:56,008 --> 00:19:58,175
That's cause
for celebration.
476
00:19:59,627 --> 00:20:02,796
Bottle of bubbly,
coming right up!
477
00:20:22,578 --> 00:20:24,046
"Dear Mr. Yankovic,
478
00:20:24,172 --> 00:20:26,222
"my name is Ted Mosby...
479
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:28,257
"eight years old...
480
00:20:28,259 --> 00:20:30,376
'Eat It' changed my life..."
481
00:20:30,378 --> 00:20:31,393
Blah, blah, blah.
482
00:20:31,395 --> 00:20:32,845
Uhp. Here we go.
483
00:20:32,847 --> 00:20:36,381
"I have some ideas
for new songs you could do."
484
00:20:36,383 --> 00:20:39,718
Why can't they just
leave me alone?!
485
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:42,571
"Wake Me Up Before You Pogo."
486
00:20:42,573 --> 00:20:45,775
Spend a whole afternoon
on that one?
487
00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:47,893
"Like a Surgeon."
488
00:20:53,399 --> 00:20:56,368
♪ I finally made it
through med school ♪
489
00:20:56,370 --> 00:21:01,207
♪ Somehow I made it through,
ooh... ♪
490
00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:02,508
Vinny!
491
00:21:02,510 --> 00:21:03,521
Start recording!