1 00:00:01,421 --> 00:00:04,171 In the fall of 2011, Lily and Marshall received 2 00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:06,205 a surprising gift from Lily's grandparents: 3 00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,957 their house in Long Island. 4 00:00:07,959 --> 00:00:11,927 Lily and Marshall decided to sell it for one simple reason. 5 00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,295 It's Long Island. 6 00:00:13,297 --> 00:00:15,681 I don't want to spend my Saturday in Long Island. 7 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:16,966 I know, babe, 8 00:00:16,968 --> 00:00:19,051 but the realtor staged the place with fake furniture 9 00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:21,437 and she wants us to check it out before the open house. 10 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:22,455 All right. 11 00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:24,473 Can we at least do it on the fake bed? 12 00:00:24,475 --> 00:00:27,443 I'm embarrassed that you have to ask. 13 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:29,478 So, they headed out to Long Island, 14 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,381 and when they walked in the door... 15 00:00:32,383 --> 00:00:34,183 We'll take it! 16 00:00:34,185 --> 00:00:35,534 We-We can't take it. 17 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,369 We're the ones selling it. 18 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,538 We are selling it, right? 19 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,624 Baby, your grandparents gave you this house outright. 20 00:00:41,626 --> 00:00:43,692 So, the way I see it, we have five options. 21 00:00:43,694 --> 00:00:44,793 One: sell it. 22 00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:46,996 Two: year-round haunted house. 23 00:00:46,998 --> 00:00:51,033 Three: giant fence around the perimeter, chimp sanctuary. 24 00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:52,367 There's already a tire swing in the backyard. 25 00:00:52,369 --> 00:00:54,670 Four: we destroy it with sledgehammers. 26 00:00:54,672 --> 00:00:56,388 I like four. 27 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,808 Or five: we move in, raise our children 28 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,877 and make this our family home. 29 00:01:01,879 --> 00:01:04,230 Till they graduate. 30 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:07,099 Then we destroy it with sledgehammers. 31 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,902 As a family. 32 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:11,854 No, this is crazy! 33 00:01:11,856 --> 00:01:13,105 We are New York people. 34 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,724 We have a big, beautiful apartment that we love. 35 00:01:15,726 --> 00:01:16,825 You're right. 36 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,227 But something happened 37 00:01:18,229 --> 00:01:19,612 to Lily and Marshall that day. 38 00:01:19,614 --> 00:01:21,413 Something that happens to all New Yorkers 39 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,250 who return home from anywhere other than New York. 40 00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:27,086 Their big, lovely apartment... 41 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,954 Huh. That's weird. 42 00:01:30,573 --> 00:01:32,791 ...shrank. 43 00:01:42,153 --> 00:01:46,454 Okay, after Thanksgiving, I'm cutting out carbs. 44 00:01:46,478 --> 00:01:54,478 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 45 00:02:01,778 --> 00:02:04,320 Now, kids, it had been a rough couple weeks for Barney. 46 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,992 First, he cheated on his girlfriend with Robin, 47 00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,894 then he broke up with his girlfriend for Robin, 48 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,795 then Robin chose Kevin over him. 49 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,081 So he was kind of in a bad place. 50 00:02:13,083 --> 00:02:14,349 Hey. 51 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:15,467 You all right? 52 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,968 Why wouldn't I be all right? 53 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,219 Barney's single again! 54 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,088 It's what America's been clamoring for. 55 00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:21,773 You just went through a break-up. 56 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,358 That's usually when people do something crazy. 57 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,277 If you were a girl, you'd have cut bangs 58 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:27,228 and be dating you by now. 59 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,230 Just promise me you won't do something crazy. 60 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,483 I promise I won't do something crazy. 61 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,135 Don't worry, he's gonna do something crazy. 62 00:02:34,137 --> 00:02:36,788 In fact, I think I'm done with girls. 63 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,773 I'm not sure I even like them anymore. 64 00:02:38,775 --> 00:02:40,458 Based on all the stuff you've done to them over the years, 65 00:02:40,460 --> 00:02:41,543 I'm not sure you ever liked them. 66 00:02:41,545 --> 00:02:43,411 I'm serious. 67 00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,629 Come on, you love girls. 68 00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,781 If anyone should be done with girls, it's me. 69 00:02:46,783 --> 00:02:48,282 Look at the year I've had. 70 00:02:48,284 --> 00:02:50,218 Zoey, Victoria, the Slutty Pumpkin. 71 00:02:50,220 --> 00:02:52,637 Now I'm worried you're gonna do something crazy. 72 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,472 I'm not gonna do something crazy. 73 00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:58,476 And yes, I'm gonna do something crazy, too. 74 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,278 But girls, man. 75 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,646 Girls. 76 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:04,232 - You know what would kick ass? - Being gay? 77 00:03:04,234 --> 00:03:06,568 Being gay would kick ass! 78 00:03:06,570 --> 00:03:08,403 Word. Guys understand each other. 79 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,021 Imagine a relationship where, 80 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,990 instead of talking about feelings all the time, 81 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:14,475 you just play some Madden, eat a pizza, 82 00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:16,277 give each other a happy, roll over 83 00:03:16,279 --> 00:03:17,912 and have some cuddle-free shut-eye. 84 00:03:17,914 --> 00:03:19,280 Bro, for what it's worth, 85 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:22,534 if we were both gay, you'd be my first call. 86 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,502 Would you mind calling Marshall and telling him that? 87 00:03:24,504 --> 00:03:25,537 'Cause he thinks... 88 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,155 No, this is only in a scenario 89 00:03:27,157 --> 00:03:29,457 where just you and I are gay, not Marshall. 90 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,992 But if all three of us were gay, 91 00:03:30,994 --> 00:03:32,677 you'd pick me over Marshall, right? 92 00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,479 If all three of us were gay? 93 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:38,350 Girlfriend, we would all three of us have some fun. 94 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,385 Damn right we would. 95 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,639 We're not gay. 96 00:03:44,641 --> 00:03:46,891 Nope. Stuck with girls. 97 00:03:47,944 --> 00:03:49,260 I wish men could have children 98 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:50,779 on their own, like sea horses. 99 00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:52,530 Are you saying what I think you're saying? 100 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:53,531 They have a little pouch. 101 00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:54,949 They should be called sea kangaroos. 102 00:03:54,951 --> 00:03:57,786 No, y-you want kids? 103 00:03:57,788 --> 00:04:01,022 Maybe I've kind of lately been thinking 104 00:04:01,024 --> 00:04:04,292 about the whole wife and kids thing. 105 00:04:04,294 --> 00:04:06,077 Just minus the wife. 106 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,695 You could always go it alone. 107 00:04:07,697 --> 00:04:09,864 Like Mr. Drummond on Diff'rent Strokes. 108 00:04:09,866 --> 00:04:13,001 Yeah, but that was the '80s, when you could just swing by 109 00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,836 any inner-city playground in your limo 110 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,221 and scoop up some kids. - Mmm. 111 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,390 - Simpler times. - Hmm. 112 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,707 I guess it's better to have someone 113 00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:21,476 in it with you anyway, you know? Lifetime partnership. 114 00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,178 The only partnership in my life 115 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,513 that has stood the test of time is this one. 116 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,349 The sacred bond of man and bro. 117 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:31,052 Maybe we should start a family together. 118 00:04:34,824 --> 00:04:36,157 Are you kidding? 119 00:04:36,159 --> 00:04:38,026 This place is huge. 120 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:40,779 I mean, look, I can dance all crazy in here. 121 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,414 Oh! Sh... 122 00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:45,417 Listen, um, Robin, 123 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,368 are you okay with us all 124 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,421 doing Thanksgiving out in East Meadow? 125 00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,955 Uh, yeah, I guess that'd be nice. 126 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,123 Oh, great! 127 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,292 And then after Thanksgiving, Lily and I were thinking 128 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,410 that we would just stay at the house 129 00:04:56,412 --> 00:04:58,346 until, you know... 130 00:04:58,348 --> 00:04:59,914 we die. 131 00:04:59,916 --> 00:05:01,132 What? 132 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,717 No! 133 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,103 You can't move to Long Island! 134 00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:07,055 But this house is so nice. 135 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:10,975 It's big, and it's clean, and if there's cockroaches, 136 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,561 they respect us enough to sneak around. 137 00:05:13,563 --> 00:05:14,646 Listen to yourself. 138 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,098 This is Pregnancy Brain all over again. 139 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,867 No, I'm done with Pregnancy Brain. 140 00:05:18,869 --> 00:05:22,954 I've moved on to weird pregnancy sex dreams. 141 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,539 Officer. 142 00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:27,742 You know. You know. 143 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:32,213 I'm-I'm just saying, you're not in the right mind to be making 144 00:05:32,215 --> 00:05:33,331 this decision right now. 145 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,966 You know what? Robin's right. 146 00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:38,119 We are in no state of mind to make this kind of decision. 147 00:05:38,121 --> 00:05:40,672 Thank you. And now you're stepping off the crazy bus. 148 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:42,223 We let the universe decide. 149 00:05:42,225 --> 00:05:43,675 And now you're back on board. 150 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,260 You hear that, Universe? 151 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:48,596 If you send us a sign in the next... 152 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,683 24 hours, then we're moving to Long Island! 153 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,401 Okay? 154 00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:54,319 Go. 155 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:55,469 Hey, guys, 156 00:05:55,471 --> 00:05:57,188 for the last time, this place is enormous-- 157 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,189 Oh! 158 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:00,575 Geez, how many lamps do you have? 159 00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:02,827 It's genius! 160 00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:05,413 Instead of throwing away your life marrying some girl, 161 00:06:05,415 --> 00:06:08,666 you just go splitsies on a kid with your best bro! 162 00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:09,751 I wouldn't have to choose 163 00:06:09,753 --> 00:06:11,652 between dating and having a family. 164 00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:14,322 Hell, I could bring the kids on dates! 165 00:06:14,324 --> 00:06:15,507 And a broken home? 166 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,791 Um, what's that? 167 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:17,926 Our kids will never know, 168 00:06:17,928 --> 00:06:19,493 'cause we're never gonna split up! 169 00:06:19,495 --> 00:06:20,512 Why would we? 170 00:06:20,514 --> 00:06:21,930 I mean, sure, when your wife walks in 171 00:06:21,932 --> 00:06:23,998 on you banging a hot flight attendant, you get a divorce. 172 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,666 But when your bro-parent walks in on you 173 00:06:25,668 --> 00:06:27,001 banging a hot flight attendant... 174 00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:29,270 You get five of these bad boys, right up high! 175 00:06:29,272 --> 00:06:32,190 And you totally join in, right?! 176 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,008 Oh, no, there's the line. That's the line. 177 00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:36,110 We found the line. It's good we know where it is. 178 00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:37,145 Hey, guys. 179 00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,530 - Hey! - Hey. 180 00:06:38,532 --> 00:06:40,665 We have an announcement. 181 00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:42,567 So what you're saying is, 182 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,786 if you're meant to move to Long Island, 183 00:06:44,788 --> 00:06:46,154 some sign from the universe 184 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,789 will magically appear at your doorstep? 185 00:06:47,791 --> 00:06:49,908 Now, kids, I don't think there was a knock on the door 186 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,477 at that exact moment, but for the purposes of this story... 187 00:06:56,031 --> 00:06:57,298 Hi, I'm Clive. 188 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,716 I live upstairs from you. 189 00:06:58,718 --> 00:07:00,802 Is this your sign? 190 00:07:00,804 --> 00:07:03,838 I don't know, Clive. 191 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,206 Is it? 192 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:07,058 Oh, did we leave that outside? 193 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,677 Yeah, we're selling our house in Long Island. 194 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,846 Oh. Too bad you're not selling this place. 195 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,598 I'd love to turn mine into a duplex. 196 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,716 And I'd give you a really good price for it, 197 00:07:15,718 --> 00:07:17,785 because I am so rich. 198 00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:20,755 He did not say that. 199 00:07:20,757 --> 00:07:22,156 His shoes did. 200 00:07:22,158 --> 00:07:24,492 Okay, the point is, we got the sign. 201 00:07:24,494 --> 00:07:26,778 We're moving to East Meadow. 202 00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:28,613 Let's get some champagne. 203 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,281 And just like that, Lily and Marshall 204 00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,916 were beginning a new chapter in their lives. 205 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,085 Which meant only one thing for us... 206 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,954 We're having a baby! 207 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,738 Bro-parents activate! 208 00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:45,975 - Hey, let's talk baby names! - Barney... 209 00:07:45,976 --> 00:07:47,826 Oh, my God! That was my first choice, too. 210 00:07:47,828 --> 00:07:51,229 No, listen. You and I are drunk. 211 00:07:51,231 --> 00:07:54,833 Which means there's a chance that adopting a baby-- 212 00:07:54,835 --> 00:07:57,035 no matter how cute he is in my head 213 00:07:57,037 --> 00:08:00,205 with his little cowboy outfit on and he's riding our dog 214 00:08:00,207 --> 00:08:02,757 like a horse and we also have a dog, 215 00:08:02,759 --> 00:08:05,543 purebred Golden, but it's okay, she's a rescue-- 216 00:08:05,545 --> 00:08:07,345 might not be a good idea. 217 00:08:07,347 --> 00:08:09,381 You're right. 218 00:08:09,383 --> 00:08:12,517 So let's go home, take some aspirin, 219 00:08:12,519 --> 00:08:14,752 drink lots of water, 220 00:08:14,754 --> 00:08:17,806 and then see if it's still a good idea tomorrow. 221 00:08:18,474 --> 00:08:19,724 It's still a good idea! 222 00:08:19,726 --> 00:08:21,309 It's totally still a good idea! 223 00:08:21,311 --> 00:08:22,644 We're having a baby! 224 00:08:24,231 --> 00:08:26,481 Kids, I cannot stress this enough: 225 00:08:26,483 --> 00:08:29,117 Barney and I were going through a tough time. 226 00:08:29,119 --> 00:08:31,436 You're not leaving, and that's final. 227 00:08:31,438 --> 00:08:35,440 Look what I bought at 4:00 a.m. in New York City. 228 00:08:35,442 --> 00:08:40,078 A bootleg VHS of a very, very popular Korean movie, 229 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,947 this genuine Lenny Vintone purse 230 00:08:42,949 --> 00:08:46,117 and the number of a man who can get me a kidney. 231 00:08:46,119 --> 00:08:47,502 Do that on Long Island. 232 00:08:47,504 --> 00:08:50,672 Look, Robin, we appreciate that you want us 233 00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:53,258 to stay in the city, but this is what we want. 234 00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,809 I mean, you understand, right? 235 00:08:56,129 --> 00:08:57,228 No. 236 00:08:57,230 --> 00:08:58,813 Here are a few fun facts 237 00:08:58,815 --> 00:09:01,016 about Long Island. 238 00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,735 Number one: it's Brooklyn's fart trail. 239 00:09:04,636 --> 00:09:05,803 So Barney and I-- 240 00:09:05,805 --> 00:09:07,638 and again, going through a tough time, 241 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,990 can't stress that enough-- 242 00:09:08,992 --> 00:09:10,692 found an adoption agency Web site 243 00:09:10,694 --> 00:09:12,911 and filled out their online application. 244 00:09:12,913 --> 00:09:15,697 Name: Barney Stinson. 245 00:09:15,699 --> 00:09:17,532 Ted Mosby. 246 00:09:17,534 --> 00:09:18,500 Address... 247 00:09:18,502 --> 00:09:20,001 Oh, put my address in Westchester. 248 00:09:20,003 --> 00:09:21,286 They'll want to see we'll be 249 00:09:21,288 --> 00:09:22,921 raising this child in a good environment. 250 00:09:22,923 --> 00:09:24,089 You know, the suburbs. 251 00:09:24,091 --> 00:09:25,423 What? No. 252 00:09:25,425 --> 00:09:28,126 - All my guys are here. - Your guys? 253 00:09:28,128 --> 00:09:29,928 Yeah. You know how I got a guy for everything? 254 00:09:29,930 --> 00:09:31,212 Well, they're all in New York. 255 00:09:31,214 --> 00:09:33,298 My suit guy, my shoe guy, my ticket guy, my club guy. 256 00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:34,832 And if I don't have a guy for something, 257 00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,634 then I have a guy guy to get me a guy. 258 00:09:36,636 --> 00:09:38,470 And oddly enough, his name is Guy. 259 00:09:38,472 --> 00:09:40,338 Okay, fine. How about this? 260 00:09:40,340 --> 00:09:43,174 We stay in the city during the week, then on the weekend, 261 00:09:43,176 --> 00:09:44,476 country house in the burbs! 262 00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:46,978 This is why bro-parenting works! 263 00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:47,896 Totally! 264 00:09:47,898 --> 00:09:50,148 And with your salary plus my salary, 265 00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:52,183 we can totally afford two places. 266 00:09:52,185 --> 00:09:54,202 Oh. 267 00:09:54,204 --> 00:09:55,470 What? 268 00:09:55,472 --> 00:09:59,741 So... uh, you're gonna keep your job? 269 00:10:01,026 --> 00:10:03,461 Robin, this discussion is closed. 270 00:10:03,463 --> 00:10:05,880 The universe told us to do it, so we're doing it. 271 00:10:05,882 --> 00:10:09,000 Well, the universe gets it wrong sometimes. 272 00:10:09,002 --> 00:10:11,252 Remember when Marshall was trying to decide between 273 00:10:11,254 --> 00:10:13,838 becoming an environmental lawyer and working at a bank? 274 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,573 That's a funny story. 275 00:10:15,575 --> 00:10:18,009 Marshall was fed up with his job at GNB and was 276 00:10:18,011 --> 00:10:19,344 thinking about leaving it all behind, 277 00:10:19,346 --> 00:10:21,379 so he and Lily agreed he should wait for a sign 278 00:10:21,381 --> 00:10:23,231 from the universe to tell him what to do. 279 00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:24,933 Then one day... 280 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:35,276 Of course. 281 00:10:35,278 --> 00:10:36,444 It's so clear. 282 00:10:36,446 --> 00:10:38,163 It's been right there all along. 283 00:10:38,165 --> 00:10:39,897 I have to call Lily. 284 00:10:39,899 --> 00:10:42,033 Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. 285 00:10:42,035 --> 00:10:45,086 I'm sorry, but, um, can I please borrow your... 286 00:10:45,871 --> 00:10:47,872 - Ernie Hudson? - Yes. 287 00:10:47,874 --> 00:10:50,008 Can I borrow your phone? 288 00:10:50,010 --> 00:10:52,243 Who you gonna call? 289 00:10:54,079 --> 00:10:56,431 And did Marshall become a Ghostbuster? 290 00:10:56,433 --> 00:10:58,500 That firehouse is still for sale. 291 00:10:58,502 --> 00:11:01,419 Even Ernie Hudson begged you not to go through with that. 292 00:11:01,421 --> 00:11:02,720 Ernie Hudson is a coward! 293 00:11:02,722 --> 00:11:04,389 Oh! 294 00:11:04,391 --> 00:11:05,623 Of course I'm gonna keep my job. 295 00:11:05,625 --> 00:11:06,791 Why wouldn't I keep my job? 296 00:11:06,793 --> 00:11:10,862 Well, I mean, this whole architecture thing... 297 00:11:10,864 --> 00:11:12,480 isn't it more of a hobby? 298 00:11:12,482 --> 00:11:13,948 Excuse me? 299 00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:15,567 And now we're fighting. You know what? 300 00:11:15,569 --> 00:11:17,218 Forget I said anything. 301 00:11:17,220 --> 00:11:19,654 No! No, no, no. We're having this discussion. 302 00:11:19,656 --> 00:11:20,938 Architecture is my life's work. 303 00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:22,874 Why don't you quit your job? I don't even know 304 00:11:22,876 --> 00:11:24,626 what it is you do for a living. 305 00:11:24,628 --> 00:11:27,045 "What it is I do for a living?" 306 00:11:27,047 --> 00:11:32,167 I work, Ted, 14 hours a day so that our baby can have food 307 00:11:32,169 --> 00:11:34,419 and clothes and a nice house, 308 00:11:34,421 --> 00:11:36,287 while you sit around doodling pictures of buildings. 309 00:11:36,289 --> 00:11:37,806 That's "what it is I do." 310 00:11:37,808 --> 00:11:40,425 You know what? Screw this. I'm gonna go to the bar. 311 00:11:40,427 --> 00:11:42,227 Yeah, right, right, 'cause the answer's always 312 00:11:42,229 --> 00:11:44,095 at the bottom of a bottle! 313 00:11:44,097 --> 00:11:46,898 Wait, wait, wait! Hold it! 314 00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:49,851 Brainstorm. Brainstorm. 315 00:11:49,853 --> 00:11:52,587 Nobody quits their job. 316 00:11:52,589 --> 00:11:53,688 We get a nanny. 317 00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:54,689 Dibs on the nanny. 318 00:11:54,691 --> 00:11:56,074 No. No banging the nanny. 319 00:11:56,076 --> 00:11:58,109 Ted, please don not dig in on this whole 320 00:11:58,111 --> 00:11:59,160 no-banging-the-nanny policy. 321 00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,745 Okay, fine. We'll get two nannies. 322 00:12:00,747 --> 00:12:03,164 One for banging, one for childcare. 323 00:12:03,166 --> 00:12:05,149 Slash banging. Dibs on both nannies! 324 00:12:05,151 --> 00:12:07,285 Just think of it, Ted, you and me, 325 00:12:07,287 --> 00:12:09,587 living together, with our kid, 326 00:12:09,589 --> 00:12:12,060 my two hot nannies, our pet cobra... 327 00:12:12,061 --> 00:12:12,671 What? 328 00:12:12,676 --> 00:12:15,009 A kid needs a pet cobra, Ted. Don't be a pill about this. 329 00:12:15,011 --> 00:12:17,345 And we'll have amazing weeklong parties, 330 00:12:17,347 --> 00:12:20,215 and there'll be swords and ninja stars lying around. 331 00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,549 That's when I realized: 332 00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:24,602 adopting a baby with a friend? Crazy. 333 00:12:24,604 --> 00:12:28,506 Adopting a baby with Barney? Freaking nuts. 334 00:12:28,508 --> 00:12:30,725 I can't adopt a baby with you, Barney. 335 00:12:30,727 --> 00:12:31,776 Why not? 336 00:12:31,778 --> 00:12:33,394 Because we don't even have one yet 337 00:12:33,396 --> 00:12:34,863 and you're already a terrible father. 338 00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:36,981 Oh, I get it. 339 00:12:36,983 --> 00:12:38,900 You want one of the nannies. 340 00:12:38,902 --> 00:12:40,851 Well, you can't have 'em! They're mine! 341 00:12:40,853 --> 00:12:43,738 So you're just gonna have to get yourself a third nanny. 342 00:12:43,740 --> 00:12:46,574 Except dibs on the third nanny! Good day! 343 00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:49,627 Which brings us to Thanksgiving. 344 00:12:49,629 --> 00:12:51,913 Marshall, Lily and Robin were heading out 345 00:12:51,915 --> 00:12:53,882 to Long Island early to get ready. 346 00:13:01,591 --> 00:13:03,224 Okay, how is this even possible?! 347 00:13:03,226 --> 00:13:06,144 'Cause how did we even get it in here?! 348 00:13:08,848 --> 00:13:11,215 Okay, I change my mind. I want an epidural. 349 00:13:11,217 --> 00:13:13,484 You guys are crazy. 350 00:13:13,486 --> 00:13:15,853 This place is enormous. 351 00:13:15,855 --> 00:13:17,405 I mean, look arou... 352 00:13:17,407 --> 00:13:20,108 Have you never heard of overhead lighting?! 353 00:13:23,779 --> 00:13:25,530 You're right. 354 00:13:25,532 --> 00:13:27,115 I get it. 355 00:13:27,117 --> 00:13:30,201 This place is great. 356 00:13:30,203 --> 00:13:32,754 Um, excuse me. Where is the restroom? 357 00:13:32,756 --> 00:13:35,373 Oh. Right there. Oh, good, great. 358 00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:36,925 I'm just gonna go in there and... 359 00:13:36,927 --> 00:13:40,178 not come out until you promise never to move away! 360 00:13:42,097 --> 00:13:44,432 It's a good thing we have three bathrooms. 361 00:13:45,968 --> 00:13:47,385 Hey, Barney. 362 00:13:47,387 --> 00:13:49,086 Uh, listen, sorry about the other day 363 00:13:49,088 --> 00:13:51,022 when I said you'd be a terrible father. 364 00:13:51,024 --> 00:13:53,308 You had no reason to think otherwise. 365 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:54,809 Totally understandable. I'm not mad. 366 00:13:54,811 --> 00:13:55,944 Thanks. 367 00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:57,078 And, uh, let's be honest, 368 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,529 we were both acting a little crazy. 369 00:13:58,531 --> 00:14:00,565 I don't think either of us is truly ready 370 00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:02,099 for the responsibility of... 371 00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:04,652 Daddy's home. 372 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,647 Uh, Barney, uh, where did you get this baby? 373 00:14:13,099 --> 00:14:14,120 Please. 374 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,370 Did you adopt it? 375 00:14:15,372 --> 00:14:16,421 Please. 376 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,723 Do you have a baby guy? 377 00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:22,010 Did Guy the guy guy get you a baby guy? 378 00:14:22,012 --> 00:14:23,744 Ted, we should get going. 379 00:14:23,746 --> 00:14:26,097 No, no, no. I'm not going anywhere with you. 380 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,582 For all I know, I could be 381 00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:28,850 aiding and abetting a kidnapping. 382 00:14:28,852 --> 00:14:30,635 Shh. Bro-daddy's not mad. 383 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:35,273 He's just being a wittle loud. He wuvs you! Yes, he does! 384 00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,425 - This is insane! - You'll feel better outside. 385 00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,310 - Come on. - No, I can't. 386 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:40,895 Yeah. Na-na-na. 387 00:14:40,897 --> 00:14:44,232 But then we went outside. 388 00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:45,483 Oh, my goodness. 389 00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:47,485 - What a beautiful baby. - Thank you. 390 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,770 By the way, my friend and I, we're not a couple. 391 00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:51,739 We are two straight guys who are single 392 00:14:51,741 --> 00:14:53,908 and we have a baby. Just so you know. 393 00:14:53,910 --> 00:14:56,211 Look at this sweet girl. 394 00:14:56,213 --> 00:14:58,213 Hi. I was just telling this first girl, 395 00:14:58,215 --> 00:15:00,048 my friend and I, both straight, 396 00:15:00,050 --> 00:15:02,133 both available, and we have a baby. 397 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,635 Oh, who is this little angel? 398 00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:04,919 me and him, 399 00:15:04,921 --> 00:15:06,504 not gay, single, have a baby. 400 00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,156 We should look into having a sign made. 401 00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:10,375 Kids, again, we were going through a difficult time. 402 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,693 But this part was kind of fun. 403 00:15:11,695 --> 00:15:16,264 Aw...! So cute! 404 00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:18,099 This is awesome. 405 00:15:18,101 --> 00:15:20,468 Right? 406 00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:22,487 Robin, come out and talk to us. 407 00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,022 I'm not coming out of this bathroom 408 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:26,641 until everyone stops acting crazy! 409 00:15:26,643 --> 00:15:28,660 No one is being crazy. 410 00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,678 Again, for the purposes of this story... 411 00:15:31,747 --> 00:15:35,366 Ted and I have a baby. Crazy! 412 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,951 What the hell is that? 413 00:15:36,953 --> 00:15:40,255 Guys, this is Hurricane Stinson-Mosby. 414 00:15:40,257 --> 00:15:41,422 Mosby-Stinson. 415 00:15:41,424 --> 00:15:43,758 You named your baby Hurricane? 416 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,760 That is... 417 00:15:45,762 --> 00:15:48,213 ultimately inconsiderate to the child 418 00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,098 who has to live with that name. 419 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:52,851 Okay, how the hell does Barney have a baby? 420 00:15:52,853 --> 00:15:54,168 No idea. Super confused. 421 00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:56,504 I'm finding it best to just sort of go with it. 422 00:15:56,506 --> 00:15:58,773 She's super cute, though, right? 423 00:15:59,341 --> 00:16:01,025 Wait a minute. 424 00:16:01,027 --> 00:16:05,179 Oh, guh! Hurricane dookied in her drawers. 425 00:16:05,181 --> 00:16:08,566 Ha-ha! Poopy pants! 426 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,184 She needs a new diaper. 427 00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:12,120 Right. Where do you keep your diapers? 428 00:16:12,122 --> 00:16:13,404 We don't have any. 429 00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,822 You don't... Wow. 430 00:16:14,824 --> 00:16:18,710 Okay. (scoffs) I guess I'll go buy some. 431 00:16:18,712 --> 00:16:21,246 You're gonna be a mom and you don't have any diapers? 432 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:24,249 Lord, watch over that child. 433 00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,984 Uh, okay. 434 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,536 Come here, you. 435 00:16:28,538 --> 00:16:32,390 So, there was talk of a cheese plate? 436 00:16:40,816 --> 00:16:42,016 Hey. 437 00:16:42,018 --> 00:16:44,435 Cheese? 438 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,987 Thanks. 439 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,192 If you don't mind me asking... 440 00:16:51,194 --> 00:16:53,411 what-what is this all about? 441 00:16:53,413 --> 00:16:57,031 I mean, you are one of the most strong, independent, 442 00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,233 non-locking-themselves-in- 443 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,252 a-bathroom-on-Thanksgiving people I know. 444 00:17:02,171 --> 00:17:04,906 Why-why are you so upset about us moving? 445 00:17:04,908 --> 00:17:08,376 Maybe I just need you guys more than you think. 446 00:17:08,378 --> 00:17:12,830 Is this about more than us moving? 447 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,099 This is good cheese. 448 00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:18,169 Robin? 449 00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,971 Yeah? 450 00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:22,607 Do you think I should've become a Ghostbuster? 451 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:24,692 I think you made the right call, buddy. 452 00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:29,447 Okay, Ted, I'm not gonna ask you where Barney got this baby. 453 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:31,766 But do you have any idea why? 454 00:17:31,768 --> 00:17:34,118 Well, a few nights ago, we were talking... 455 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:37,322 you know, "We hate girls, we wish we were gay," 456 00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,106 just guy stuff. 457 00:17:39,108 --> 00:17:42,076 And we kind of sort of decided to... 458 00:17:42,078 --> 00:17:43,628 adopt a baby. 459 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,413 Yeah, that's crazy. 460 00:17:45,415 --> 00:17:46,631 I know. 461 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:47,632 Is it, though? 462 00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:48,666 Yes. 463 00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:49,667 I know. 464 00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:51,135 But is it, though? 465 00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:52,136 Yes. 466 00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:53,471 Well, so what if it's crazy? 467 00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,623 I've been ready to meet someone to start a family with 468 00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,842 for a long time now, and I keep not meeting her. 469 00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,478 Barney is one of my best friends in the world, we rarely fight, 470 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,647 and once we iron out the whole pet cobra thing, 471 00:18:02,649 --> 00:18:04,399 we will be amazing dads. 472 00:18:04,401 --> 00:18:05,900 Why shouldn't we try this? 473 00:18:05,902 --> 00:18:08,135 When's the last time you fed her? 474 00:18:08,137 --> 00:18:10,021 She had some root beer on the train. 475 00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:12,357 Oh, Ted. And I'm sorry, 476 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:13,974 but you cannot call a baby Hurricane. 477 00:18:13,976 --> 00:18:15,610 Actually, her name is Sadie. 478 00:18:15,612 --> 00:18:17,829 James, what are you doing here? 479 00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:19,364 Did Barney not tell you 480 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:20,999 that we were coming for Thanksgiving? 481 00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,316 Uh, no. 482 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,985 Then he probably also did not tell you 483 00:18:24,987 --> 00:18:26,871 that he was babysitting our new daughter. 484 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,840 This is your daughter? 485 00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:30,625 Oh, thank God. 486 00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:32,427 And congratulations. 487 00:18:32,429 --> 00:18:34,161 Thanks. Come here. 488 00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:36,180 Aw... Aw... 489 00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:38,850 I guess this is good-bye, Hurri... Sadie. 490 00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:42,387 Your name is Hurricane. Don't ever forget it. 491 00:18:43,672 --> 00:18:45,356 Go with him. Go on. 492 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,557 Come here. That a girl. 493 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,693 Hey, Ted, 494 00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,778 I overheard your little speech. 495 00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:52,030 It's not crazy. 496 00:18:52,781 --> 00:18:54,399 About ten years ago, 497 00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:57,368 my best friend and I nearly did the same thing. 498 00:18:57,370 --> 00:19:00,655 She was single, I was single, we both wanted a family. 499 00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:02,740 It made sense. 500 00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:04,292 But now? 501 00:19:04,294 --> 00:19:07,745 Every day, we thank our lucky stars that we didn't do it. 502 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,364 'Cause what she found with her husband 503 00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:12,250 and what I found with mine-- 504 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,552 it was worth the wait. 505 00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,638 Hurricane's a cool name. 506 00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:20,475 Isn't it, Tom? 507 00:19:20,477 --> 00:19:22,160 The pet store was closer, 508 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,895 so I just got her some wee-wee pads. 509 00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:25,396 Oh, I also got this. 510 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,482 It's beef-flavored and it's good for her teeth. 511 00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:30,485 James! Tom! Hey! 512 00:19:30,487 --> 00:19:31,886 Lily... 513 00:19:31,888 --> 00:19:33,387 did you get the e-mail 514 00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,907 that I sent you about inviting 515 00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:38,359 James and Tom to Thanksgiving? 516 00:19:38,361 --> 00:19:41,395 I sent it to your CompuServe. That's your main one, right? 517 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,081 Happy Thanksgiving, bro. 518 00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:45,065 - Thanks. Hi. - Hey! 519 00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,919 Let's go sit down. 520 00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:49,420 Hi. 521 00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,507 All right, you got me. 522 00:19:52,509 --> 00:19:53,925 James is my baby guy. 523 00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:57,295 But these past three hours-- magical, right? 524 00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,847 We can do this! Say we can do this. 525 00:19:59,849 --> 00:20:01,549 We can't do this. 526 00:20:01,551 --> 00:20:02,917 Sorry, dude. 527 00:20:02,919 --> 00:20:05,520 We got to wait for the real thing... 528 00:20:05,522 --> 00:20:07,922 no matter how tough it gets. 529 00:20:10,608 --> 00:20:12,675 It gets pretty tough. 530 00:20:12,677 --> 00:20:14,528 I know it does, buddy. 531 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,398 I have some time before dinner, right? 532 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:20,617 I'm going to go... I'm gonna take a little walk. 533 00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:22,452 All right. All right. 534 00:20:25,074 --> 00:20:27,023 God. 535 00:20:32,847 --> 00:20:34,965 - Hi. - Hey. 536 00:20:42,873 --> 00:20:44,341 Are we still friends? 537 00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,309 Hope so. 538 00:20:47,723 --> 00:20:49,123 Good. 539 00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:50,892 'Cause get this. 540 00:20:50,894 --> 00:20:52,977 Ted almost adopted a baby. 541 00:20:53,454 --> 00:20:55,473 Crazy, right? 542 00:20:55,474 --> 00:20:56,857 Poor guy's going through some stuff. 543 00:20:56,859 --> 00:20:59,342 He actually tried to rope me into it. 544 00:20:59,344 --> 00:21:01,729 Can you imagine me being someone's dad? 545 00:21:03,270 --> 00:21:04,569 I'm pregnant.