1 00:00:01,557 --> 00:00:03,876 Kids, I'll never forget the first time 2 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,546 I told your mother I loved her. 3 00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:07,564 It was a rainy day in New York. 4 00:00:07,566 --> 00:00:08,916 We just had a horrible lunch. 5 00:00:08,918 --> 00:00:10,884 The movie we wanted to see was sold out, 6 00:00:10,886 --> 00:00:11,969 and I just looked at her 7 00:00:11,971 --> 00:00:14,871 and said, "I love you." 8 00:00:14,873 --> 00:00:16,290 It was a big deal for me. 9 00:00:16,292 --> 00:00:18,892 I hadn't said that to a girl since... 10 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:20,678 I love you, Robin. 11 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,230 I'm serious. 12 00:00:24,382 --> 00:00:27,184 Do you remember why we broke up in the first place? 13 00:00:27,186 --> 00:00:28,485 We asked each other, "Where do you want 14 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,637 to be in five years?" 15 00:00:29,639 --> 00:00:32,856 And our answers were just too different. 16 00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,224 Well, it's five years later, 17 00:00:34,226 --> 00:00:37,411 and where are we? 18 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,246 Standing on the roof 19 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:42,065 where I kissed you for the first time. 20 00:00:43,335 --> 00:00:46,170 I know this is a lot to process, 21 00:00:46,648 --> 00:00:48,164 so no pressure here. 22 00:00:48,551 --> 00:00:52,135 Just... what do you think? 23 00:00:52,961 --> 00:00:54,411 You know what? You're exhausted, it's late. 24 00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:55,412 Let's just go to sleep. 25 00:00:55,414 --> 00:00:56,580 Well, good night. 26 00:01:00,385 --> 00:01:01,852 What the hell was that? 27 00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,354 Okay, I can fix this. 28 00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:07,574 I-I was just temporarily insane because of my Lyme disease, 29 00:01:07,576 --> 00:01:12,579 which I got on a camping trip that I didn't tell her about 30 00:01:12,581 --> 00:01:17,618 because... I go camping in secret. 31 00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:19,453 Perfect. 32 00:01:19,455 --> 00:01:21,538 Or I could say, "I'm sorry, we're great as friends. 33 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:23,157 Let's just forget I ever said anything." 34 00:01:23,159 --> 00:01:24,158 Yeah, that's probably better. 35 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,243 Okay, here goes. 36 00:01:30,214 --> 00:01:32,370 I go camping in secret. 37 00:01:32,394 --> 00:01:34,394 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 38 00:01:51,942 --> 00:01:54,529 Wow, Ted, I... wow, okay. 39 00:01:54,663 --> 00:01:56,048 You got to give me a minute here. 40 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,602 Yeah, of course. 41 00:01:57,705 --> 00:02:00,756 Okay, um, we need to t-talk about this. 42 00:02:01,297 --> 00:02:03,892 This time yesterday, I was in Vermont 43 00:02:03,892 --> 00:02:05,359 engaged to another man. 44 00:02:05,587 --> 00:02:09,811 I mean, it's been 24 hours of emotional mayhem, 45 00:02:09,813 --> 00:02:11,846 and, and the day is still not over. 46 00:02:11,848 --> 00:02:12,778 I mean, I swear to God, 47 00:02:12,778 --> 00:02:14,495 if there's any more surprises, I'm gonna hit someone! 48 00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:18,719 ... comrade. 49 00:02:19,359 --> 00:02:20,457 That means, 50 00:02:20,513 --> 00:02:22,396 "Hello, coworker." 51 00:02:22,554 --> 00:02:24,327 You ready for our trip to Mother Russia? 52 00:02:24,383 --> 00:02:26,993 Oh, yeah, Aunt Robin was thrilled World Wide News 53 00:02:26,993 --> 00:02:29,302 asked her to go to Moscow to cover Maslenitsa. 54 00:02:29,394 --> 00:02:30,927 She was less thrilled to discover 55 00:02:30,929 --> 00:02:33,813 Maslenitsa is the city's annual butter festival. 56 00:02:33,815 --> 00:02:36,316 Even worse, she'd spend an entire week with all those 57 00:02:36,318 --> 00:02:39,970 buttery Russians and her archenemy Patrice. 58 00:02:39,972 --> 00:02:44,424 Uh, our flight leaves at 9:00 p.m., not a.m. 59 00:02:44,426 --> 00:02:46,504 God... Patrice! 60 00:02:46,588 --> 00:02:49,153 But, Robin, the schedule says 9:00 a.m. 61 00:02:49,230 --> 00:02:50,947 and my ticket says 9:00 a.m. 62 00:02:50,949 --> 00:02:53,083 and all the e-mail reminders said 9:00 a.m. 63 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,702 and our boss in the car downstairs said... 64 00:02:54,702 --> 00:02:56,168 Okay, Patrice, I get it! 65 00:02:56,254 --> 00:02:57,420 Oh, no! 66 00:02:57,422 --> 00:02:59,039 Pair of pants coming in hot! 67 00:02:59,041 --> 00:03:00,256 Noise-canceling headphones. 68 00:03:00,258 --> 00:03:01,708 Oh, I don't need 'em. 69 00:03:01,710 --> 00:03:03,793 It's a ten-hour flight and your sitting next to Patrice. 70 00:03:03,795 --> 00:03:05,809 Oh, God, where's my cough syrup? 71 00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:07,049 You're gonna make it. 72 00:03:07,049 --> 00:03:08,057 I'll bring your bag down. 73 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,771 Where are my shoes? Where are my shoes?! 74 00:03:09,832 --> 00:03:10,840 Don't worry. It's fine. 75 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,619 And look, about all this... Just go. 76 00:03:12,719 --> 00:03:14,084 Good-bye. Bye. 77 00:03:17,344 --> 00:03:19,462 Why didn't I kiss her? 78 00:03:22,321 --> 00:03:24,143 We'll continue this when I get back. 79 00:03:33,979 --> 00:03:34,672 Hello. 80 00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:35,617 I know it's early, 81 00:03:35,617 --> 00:03:37,908 but can you meet me at the bar right now, alone? 82 00:03:38,047 --> 00:03:39,496 I'm on my way. 83 00:03:39,498 --> 00:03:41,015 I got to meet Ted at the bar. 84 00:03:41,017 --> 00:03:42,549 It's 7:00 a.m. 85 00:03:42,551 --> 00:03:46,553 Man, Ted really needs to work on his boundaries. 86 00:03:46,555 --> 00:03:48,672 Shh, guys, seriously. 87 00:03:50,309 --> 00:03:51,942 Why are you in our bed? 88 00:03:51,944 --> 00:03:55,195 I took the drunk train and got stuck out here. 89 00:03:55,197 --> 00:03:57,681 Oh, God, I am so hungover. 90 00:03:57,683 --> 00:04:00,484 Oh, God, Lily's not wearing a bra! 91 00:04:00,486 --> 00:04:01,902 Shh! 92 00:04:01,904 --> 00:04:03,988 Bye, baby. 93 00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:07,291 Do you think...? 94 00:04:07,293 --> 00:04:09,043 Okay, I already know I don't want to hear this. 95 00:04:09,045 --> 00:04:10,878 Do you think that if we did it... 96 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,696 Yeah, I was right. I don't want to hear this. 97 00:04:12,698 --> 00:04:14,715 ...and I did a really good job... 98 00:04:14,717 --> 00:04:15,966 Please leave. 99 00:04:15,968 --> 00:04:19,870 ...that I could turn that into my baby? 100 00:04:19,872 --> 00:04:22,205 I think I'm gonna throw up. 101 00:04:22,207 --> 00:04:24,925 Morning sickness? No. 102 00:04:27,062 --> 00:04:28,529 It's crazy, right? 103 00:04:28,531 --> 00:04:29,680 Are you shocked? 104 00:04:29,682 --> 00:04:31,932 No, I'm not shocked. You're in love with Robin. 105 00:04:31,934 --> 00:04:33,233 Do you remember back 106 00:04:33,235 --> 00:04:35,385 at Christmas when she was upset, you didn't even know why, 107 00:04:35,387 --> 00:04:37,855 and you spent eight hours setting up Christmas lights 108 00:04:37,857 --> 00:04:39,723 in the apartment just to cheer her up. 109 00:04:39,725 --> 00:04:41,892 That was a platonic friend thing. A platonic friend thing? 110 00:04:41,894 --> 00:04:44,611 Really? Ted, let me ask you a question. 111 00:04:44,613 --> 00:04:46,363 Would you have done that for me? 112 00:04:46,365 --> 00:04:49,199 You probably would have. You're such a good friend, Ted. 113 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,201 You, too, buddy. 114 00:04:51,203 --> 00:04:52,419 I'm going into the city. 115 00:04:52,748 --> 00:04:54,400 Just, while I'm gone, 116 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,648 don't go snooping around in our stuff. 117 00:04:56,709 --> 00:04:59,677 I know you think we have a sex tape hidden somewhere, 118 00:04:59,679 --> 00:05:03,147 so I'll save you the trouble. We don't. Good-bye. 119 00:05:03,149 --> 00:05:06,917 Here's that moment from Barney's perspective. 120 00:05:08,754 --> 00:05:11,021 We have a sex tape hidden somewhere. 121 00:05:14,859 --> 00:05:18,345 Challenge accepted. 122 00:05:18,347 --> 00:05:20,564 Robin again? 123 00:05:20,566 --> 00:05:22,866 Why does everyone keep going after Robin? 124 00:05:22,868 --> 00:05:25,402 How come no one ever takes a run at me? 125 00:05:25,404 --> 00:05:26,770 Barney hits on you every day. 126 00:05:26,772 --> 00:05:28,706 Yeah, but he just wants to bang me. 127 00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:29,940 I want something real. 128 00:05:29,942 --> 00:05:31,909 I know, babe. 129 00:05:31,911 --> 00:05:33,877 Double A Cleaning. 130 00:05:33,879 --> 00:05:34,945 Consuela, it's Barney. 131 00:05:34,947 --> 00:05:37,280 I need you and the girls for the afternoon. 132 00:05:37,282 --> 00:05:38,882 Of course, right away, Mr. Barney. 133 00:05:38,884 --> 00:05:40,000 Are you at home now? 134 00:05:40,002 --> 00:05:41,635 No, I'm at a house on Long Island. 135 00:05:41,637 --> 00:05:42,836 I'll text you the details. 136 00:05:42,838 --> 00:05:45,389 It's a big job. The place has been ransacked. 137 00:05:45,391 --> 00:05:47,257 We'll get right on it. 138 00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:48,759 Thanks, Consuela, you're the best. 139 00:05:53,064 --> 00:05:54,848 Ted, I know you're ready to go 140 00:05:54,850 --> 00:05:56,633 with this whole you-and-Robin thing, 141 00:05:56,635 --> 00:05:58,068 but is she ready to go? 142 00:05:58,070 --> 00:06:01,155 Is she ready to go? Um... 143 00:06:04,692 --> 00:06:07,611 Mmm, we'll continue this... 144 00:06:07,613 --> 00:06:09,663 when I get back. 145 00:06:11,649 --> 00:06:14,084 So... 146 00:06:14,086 --> 00:06:15,986 Are you sure that it wasn't...? 147 00:06:19,323 --> 00:06:22,126 We'll continue this when I get back. 148 00:06:22,128 --> 00:06:23,761 Okay. 149 00:06:26,815 --> 00:06:28,715 What?! No! 150 00:06:28,717 --> 00:06:31,468 Damn it, Lily, why are you rooting against me? 151 00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:32,803 I'm not rooting against you. 152 00:06:32,805 --> 00:06:33,554 Yes, you are. 153 00:06:33,556 --> 00:06:34,671 No, I'm not. 154 00:06:34,673 --> 00:06:35,956 Yes, she was. 155 00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:38,008 You see, at that very moment... 156 00:06:43,114 --> 00:06:46,066 "Long-term bets"? 157 00:06:55,493 --> 00:06:56,910 Hmm. 158 00:07:11,009 --> 00:07:15,262 My God! They're placing bets on our lives. 159 00:07:15,264 --> 00:07:18,482 And I'm sorry, Ted cannot pull off bald. 160 00:07:18,484 --> 00:07:20,267 You know Ted. I'm right about this. 161 00:07:23,388 --> 00:07:26,773 Ted, I'm your best friend. Why would I root against you? 162 00:07:26,775 --> 00:07:30,944 Lily bets Marshall that Ted and Robin won't end up together. 163 00:07:30,946 --> 00:07:33,063 That's why. 164 00:07:36,386 --> 00:07:38,253 So, Lily was betting against me and Robin. 165 00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:39,546 I just didn't know it. 166 00:07:39,548 --> 00:07:41,832 Okay, you want to make it work with Robin? 167 00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:43,967 You need to stay on her radar. 168 00:07:43,969 --> 00:07:45,919 Call her right now. 169 00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:47,387 She's on the plane. Her phone's off. 170 00:07:47,389 --> 00:07:49,139 Oh, my God! 171 00:07:49,141 --> 00:07:52,059 How adorable would it be if when the plane lands, 172 00:07:52,061 --> 00:07:53,176 she turns on her phone 173 00:07:53,178 --> 00:07:56,096 and her mailbox is full of messages from you?! 174 00:07:57,516 --> 00:08:00,160 Ted, don't leave her any voice mails. 175 00:08:00,185 --> 00:08:00,735 Why not? 176 00:08:00,736 --> 00:08:03,219 Because... Because you need to go to Russia. 177 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:04,604 With love! 178 00:08:04,606 --> 00:08:05,856 Surprise her. 179 00:08:05,858 --> 00:08:07,858 Make the-- in no way creepy-- 180 00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:12,729 grand romantic gesture that we all know Robin loves. 181 00:08:12,731 --> 00:08:14,698 Oh! 182 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:17,167 So I just walk up to her in Red Square 183 00:08:17,169 --> 00:08:18,402 with a dozen roses? 184 00:08:19,603 --> 00:08:21,409 Or float down to her 185 00:08:21,409 --> 00:08:23,111 in my hot air balloon 186 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,072 with ten dozen roses! 187 00:08:25,094 --> 00:08:27,712 Yes, that's perfect! 188 00:08:28,113 --> 00:08:29,330 Not like this, Lily. 189 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,020 Not like this. 190 00:08:31,082 --> 00:08:34,417 If you'll excuse me, I've got some sonnets to write. 191 00:08:34,419 --> 00:08:36,920 Stay put, Ted. You're gonna want to hear this. 192 00:08:39,011 --> 00:08:40,450 Guys, what's this? 193 00:08:41,276 --> 00:08:43,174 And Marshall and Lily explained. 194 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:45,257 It all started ten years earlier. 195 00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:47,025 They had been looking for a new hobby 196 00:08:47,025 --> 00:08:48,758 they could do as a couple. 197 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,391 I already missed the beginner's lesson. 198 00:08:51,391 --> 00:08:52,991 Maybe I shouldn't even go. 199 00:08:53,483 --> 00:08:54,700 Ah, screw it. 200 00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:57,161 I've seen the Olympics. I know what I'm doing. 201 00:08:57,647 --> 00:08:59,847 I'm going skiing, bitches! 202 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,239 He's gonna break his leg. 203 00:09:14,239 --> 00:09:15,372 He's not gonna break his leg. 204 00:09:15,372 --> 00:09:16,955 20 bucks says he does. 205 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,578 "Lily bets Marshall 206 00:09:22,580 --> 00:09:26,482 that Ted will break his leg skiing." 207 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:32,925 You would be amazed. 208 00:09:33,057 --> 00:09:36,058 People fall off ski lifts all the time. 209 00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:38,777 Well, I gotta hit the head. 210 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:48,053 Well, he didn't break his leg. 211 00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,289 Yeah, I gotta say that, um, 212 00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:53,676 making money off this bet just makes me feel... 213 00:09:53,678 --> 00:09:55,277 More alive than you've felt in years? 214 00:09:55,279 --> 00:09:57,296 Yes! New hobby! 215 00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:01,817 We need a cash box, some glitter and some glue! 216 00:10:01,819 --> 00:10:04,353 You've been betting on us? 217 00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:06,272 Like we're a couple of hobos 218 00:10:06,274 --> 00:10:07,823 fighting over a sandwich 219 00:10:07,825 --> 00:10:10,309 in some psycho preppy kid's backyard? 220 00:10:10,311 --> 00:10:12,695 No, this is just what happens in marriage. 221 00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:13,662 You get bored. 222 00:10:13,664 --> 00:10:15,364 You run out of things to do. 223 00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:16,815 We were making models. 224 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,534 You single people are out there 225 00:10:18,536 --> 00:10:20,953 with the drinking and the sleeping around... 226 00:10:20,955 --> 00:10:22,288 Model airplanes. 227 00:10:22,290 --> 00:10:24,489 The grinding and the bumping 228 00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,325 and the hot sweaty bodies. 229 00:10:26,327 --> 00:10:28,660 ...with little propellers that spin. 230 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:30,596 Oh, this one looks interesting. 231 00:10:30,598 --> 00:10:32,664 Lily, I thought you said you wanted to. 232 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:33,883 It was your idea. 233 00:10:33,885 --> 00:10:37,269 I starved myself for a week to get camera-ready. 234 00:10:37,271 --> 00:10:39,071 You had a bear claw for breakfast. 235 00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:41,273 Yeah, a bear claw. 236 00:10:41,275 --> 00:10:43,508 I-I changed my mind. 237 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:47,512 I-I just don't want Barney to see us doing it. 238 00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,315 Barney is never gonna see this. 239 00:10:49,317 --> 00:10:51,516 Oh, come on. It's Barney. 240 00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:54,370 Eventually, somehow he's gonna see it. 241 00:10:54,372 --> 00:10:55,554 Want to bet? 242 00:10:55,556 --> 00:11:00,409 So there really is a sex tape. 243 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,469 Anyhoozles, just... long-term bets, 244 00:11:10,471 --> 00:11:12,304 just a silly thing we do. 245 00:11:12,306 --> 00:11:13,538 What about you, Ted? 246 00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:15,707 Your hair's looking good. 247 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,260 "Lily bets Marshall that Ted and Robin 248 00:11:18,262 --> 00:11:19,812 won't end up together." 249 00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,982 Wow. 250 00:11:22,984 --> 00:11:25,601 So now it's becoming clear why... 251 00:11:25,603 --> 00:11:28,153 you've been trying to sabotage my future happiness. 252 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:29,572 To win a bet. 253 00:11:29,574 --> 00:11:30,739 Come on, Ted. 254 00:11:30,741 --> 00:11:32,858 We made that bet so long ago. 255 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:36,779 And boy, it's been a real nail-biter. 256 00:11:36,781 --> 00:11:39,248 Ted and Stella got engaged. 257 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,416 Pay up. 258 00:11:40,418 --> 00:11:41,901 Not yet. 259 00:11:41,903 --> 00:11:43,902 We are driving to the wedding. 260 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,237 Pay up. 261 00:11:45,239 --> 00:11:47,239 Not yet. 262 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:51,043 We are at the wedding. 263 00:11:51,045 --> 00:11:52,077 Pay up. 264 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,745 Not yet. 265 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,867 Damn it. 266 00:11:58,869 --> 00:12:00,719 I can't believe you guys! 267 00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:01,971 I got left at the altar, 268 00:12:01,973 --> 00:12:03,806 and all you cared about was some stupid bet? 269 00:12:03,808 --> 00:12:06,113 I never stopped rooting for you, but I... 270 00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:08,175 Ted, I'm not rooting against you. 271 00:12:08,177 --> 00:12:10,511 I just don't think Robin's the girl you marry. 272 00:12:10,513 --> 00:12:13,180 That's why I made the stupid bet to begin with. 273 00:12:13,182 --> 00:12:15,316 I mean, yes, it's five years later, 274 00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:17,184 and you haven't settled down with anyone else, 275 00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:20,171 but you haven't settled down with Robin, either. 276 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,390 There must be a reason for that. 277 00:12:22,798 --> 00:12:24,681 What's standing in the way? 278 00:12:31,867 --> 00:12:33,084 God... 279 00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:36,047 if you help me find this sex tape, 280 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,506 I am going to make some changes in my life. 281 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:41,008 I am going to stop sleeping around, 282 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,794 quit drinking so much, no more shenanigans. 283 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,464 I am going to devote my entire life 284 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:50,184 to doing good deeds, and praising your name. 285 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,419 Is this what you're looking for, Mr. Barney? 286 00:12:54,056 --> 00:12:55,773 Never mind, bro. Found it. 287 00:12:57,776 --> 00:12:59,527 I found it! 288 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:02,730 Sweet glory hallelujah, I found it, Ted. 289 00:13:02,732 --> 00:13:05,099 You're the only idiot I know who still owns a VCR, 290 00:13:05,101 --> 00:13:06,767 so you are the lucky winner of the 291 00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:09,269 "Who gets to sit next to me and watch our best friends 292 00:13:09,271 --> 00:13:11,372 go bananas all over each other"" sweepstakes. 293 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:14,458 To the outdated viewing device! 294 00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,410 And then I realized why Robin and I 295 00:13:16,412 --> 00:13:18,879 hadn't gotten back together in the last five years. 296 00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,132 Oh, my God. 297 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,984 Robin's in love with you. 298 00:13:28,967 --> 00:13:31,717 I can't believe I didn't see it before. 299 00:13:31,756 --> 00:13:33,356 Robin is in love with you. 300 00:13:33,654 --> 00:13:35,835 No, she's not. Trust me. 301 00:13:35,835 --> 00:13:37,301 Yes, she is. 302 00:13:37,303 --> 00:13:39,486 Something happened between you guys. 303 00:13:39,488 --> 00:13:41,138 That's why you broke up with Nora. 304 00:13:41,140 --> 00:13:43,991 That night, I saw you in her room, 305 00:13:43,993 --> 00:13:46,610 there were rose petals, candles... 306 00:13:46,612 --> 00:13:48,412 You saw that? 307 00:13:48,414 --> 00:13:50,531 Well, then, maybe you also saw 308 00:13:50,533 --> 00:13:53,534 those rose petals and candles going into a garbage bag. 309 00:13:53,536 --> 00:13:55,753 And then Barney told me everything. 310 00:13:55,755 --> 00:13:58,372 How he and Robin hooked up. 311 00:13:58,374 --> 00:14:01,458 How he broke up with Nora to be with her. 312 00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:04,545 How he thought she would do the same for him. 313 00:14:04,547 --> 00:14:07,298 How she broke his heart. 314 00:14:10,885 --> 00:14:12,853 She chose Kevin. 315 00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:15,356 It hurt, but... 316 00:14:15,358 --> 00:14:16,974 I guess they're in love. 317 00:14:16,976 --> 00:14:18,409 They broke up last night. 318 00:14:18,411 --> 00:14:20,561 Bummer. 319 00:14:20,563 --> 00:14:23,864 Anyway, let's make our own bets about this sex tape. 320 00:14:23,866 --> 00:14:26,317 I've got Marshall with a surprise piercing 321 00:14:26,319 --> 00:14:27,785 at five-to-one odds, 322 00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:30,454 Lily with a landing strip, ten-to-one, 323 00:14:30,456 --> 00:14:32,323 Marshall with a landing strip, even money. 324 00:14:32,325 --> 00:14:34,825 I don't believe this. 325 00:14:34,827 --> 00:14:36,327 You were in love with Robin, 326 00:14:36,329 --> 00:14:38,545 you find out she's single, and your reaction is "Bummer"? 327 00:14:38,547 --> 00:14:39,663 What do you want me to say, Ted? 328 00:14:39,665 --> 00:14:42,333 Whatever I thought was there, 329 00:14:42,335 --> 00:14:45,119 she thought differently. 330 00:14:45,121 --> 00:14:48,005 So... no, I don't care that Robin is single again. 331 00:14:48,007 --> 00:14:51,892 So if Robin started dating someone else, you wouldn't mind? 332 00:14:51,894 --> 00:14:52,977 Nope. 333 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:55,646 Even if that somebody else was me? 334 00:14:56,448 --> 00:14:59,733 Even if that somebody else was you. 335 00:14:59,735 --> 00:15:01,585 Really? Really. 336 00:15:01,587 --> 00:15:03,754 Hey, bros before hos, right? 337 00:15:04,656 --> 00:15:06,390 No matter how mad she made me, 338 00:15:06,392 --> 00:15:09,009 Robin's still my bro. 339 00:15:09,011 --> 00:15:10,928 And if, uh, you make her happy, 340 00:15:10,930 --> 00:15:13,563 then that makes me happy. 341 00:15:13,565 --> 00:15:17,117 Barney, you've really grown up, you know that? 342 00:15:17,119 --> 00:15:18,585 Thanks. 343 00:15:18,587 --> 00:15:21,171 Now let's watch our two best friends have sex on tape. 344 00:15:21,173 --> 00:15:22,756 I'll make the popcorn. 345 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:25,092 Don't watch that tape! 346 00:15:25,094 --> 00:15:27,011 Watch that tape! 347 00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:28,578 Well, sorry, I just really want to win the bet. 348 00:15:28,580 --> 00:15:30,247 And here we go. 349 00:15:30,249 --> 00:15:32,683 O-okay. Okay, fine, Barney. 350 00:15:32,685 --> 00:15:34,852 Watch our dirty little home movie, but be forewarned, 351 00:15:34,854 --> 00:15:37,187 at about the one minute mark, 352 00:15:37,189 --> 00:15:39,056 you're going to see me make this face. 353 00:15:41,109 --> 00:15:43,027 Oh, God, that's the face you made 354 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,361 the day we rode motorcycles. Yeah. 355 00:15:44,363 --> 00:15:45,813 Yeah. You really want to see that? 356 00:15:45,815 --> 00:15:48,532 A-and do you want to hear me go, uh... 357 00:15:52,371 --> 00:15:55,105 It can't sound like that. It can't. 358 00:15:55,107 --> 00:15:56,874 I know that noise, I've heard it through the walls. 359 00:15:56,876 --> 00:15:58,459 I thought the neighbors had a sick cat. 360 00:15:58,461 --> 00:15:59,626 Okay, but, Barney, just remember, 361 00:15:59,628 --> 00:16:01,578 you'll also be seeing a lot of this: 362 00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:03,914 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 363 00:16:03,916 --> 00:16:05,632 It's this, but I'm not pregnant. 364 00:16:05,634 --> 00:16:08,969 My skin is loose, like an elephant. 365 00:16:08,971 --> 00:16:11,255 My boobs are perky and plump. 366 00:16:11,257 --> 00:16:13,340 I slobber like a confused old dog. 367 00:16:13,342 --> 00:16:15,676 I slap my own ass. I slap my own ass! 368 00:16:20,231 --> 00:16:22,632 Barney... 369 00:16:22,634 --> 00:16:23,901 that was my VCR. 370 00:16:23,903 --> 00:16:26,019 Ted... 371 00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:28,238 it was a VCR. 372 00:16:31,253 --> 00:16:33,254 A week later, Robin's plane landed... 373 00:16:34,083 --> 00:16:36,276 and I was there to meet her at the airport. 374 00:16:36,354 --> 00:16:38,616 ♪ 375 00:16:40,418 --> 00:16:42,262 She told me all about her trip. 376 00:16:42,611 --> 00:16:46,773 And then we got dinner at the restaurant we hadn't been to in a long time. 377 00:16:48,312 --> 00:16:51,100 And by the end of the night, one thing had become clear: 378 00:16:51,951 --> 00:16:54,302 It's not going to happen, is it? 379 00:16:55,338 --> 00:16:56,554 I'm sorry. 380 00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:00,604 It's because of Barney. 381 00:17:00,606 --> 00:17:02,072 What? 382 00:17:02,074 --> 00:17:03,607 No. 383 00:17:03,609 --> 00:17:05,058 Barney and I... we... 384 00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:08,195 No. No. It's just... 385 00:17:08,197 --> 00:17:11,548 You know, things have just been so crazy lately. 386 00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:16,103 Everything in my life is... unstable. 387 00:17:16,105 --> 00:17:19,289 I mean, you're one of the few things that I can count on. 388 00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:23,943 And... I really don't want to mess that up. 389 00:17:24,945 --> 00:17:28,165 We-we... we still have our deal, right? 390 00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:31,785 If we're both still... single when we're 40? 391 00:17:31,787 --> 00:17:33,953 Yeah. Yeah. 392 00:17:36,591 --> 00:17:38,759 No. Look... I'm sorry. 393 00:17:38,761 --> 00:17:40,761 I-I can't do that anymore. 394 00:17:41,763 --> 00:17:43,480 As long as the door is even a little bit open, 395 00:17:43,482 --> 00:17:45,766 I have this feeling that I'll just be... 396 00:17:45,768 --> 00:17:49,403 waiting around to see if I win the lottery when you turn 40. 397 00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:53,190 I think you know how you feel about me now, 398 00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:57,094 and... I don't think time's going to change that. 399 00:17:57,957 --> 00:18:00,792 Just tell me. 400 00:18:00,982 --> 00:18:02,749 Do you love me? 401 00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:10,774 No. 402 00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:19,748 I'm sorry. 403 00:18:20,289 --> 00:18:21,688 We're great as friends. 404 00:18:21,759 --> 00:18:22,875 Let's just... 405 00:18:22,875 --> 00:18:24,575 Let's just forget I ever said anything. 406 00:18:31,803 --> 00:18:33,450 Bar. Alone. Now. 407 00:18:33,618 --> 00:18:35,068 It's just a bump in the road. 408 00:18:35,109 --> 00:18:36,742 You guys are meant to be together. 409 00:18:36,869 --> 00:18:38,235 You can't give up. 410 00:18:38,237 --> 00:18:39,347 You... i-it can still happen. 411 00:18:39,347 --> 00:18:40,503 No. Marshall... 412 00:18:40,541 --> 00:18:42,168 What about the hot air balloon thing, 413 00:18:42,241 --> 00:18:43,599 with the ten dozen roses? 414 00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:45,455 And how's the sonnet coming, buddy? Dude. 415 00:18:45,645 --> 00:18:48,062 You bet on the wrong horse. Let it go. 416 00:18:48,637 --> 00:18:50,338 Believe it or not, 417 00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:52,056 I'm happy about this. I'm... 418 00:18:52,456 --> 00:18:54,507 I can finally move on. 419 00:18:54,923 --> 00:18:56,423 This is a good thing. 420 00:18:57,018 --> 00:18:58,150 Really. 421 00:19:04,591 --> 00:19:05,741 Hey, Robin. 422 00:19:05,743 --> 00:19:07,209 Oh, hey. Hey. 423 00:19:07,211 --> 00:19:09,411 Hey. Uh, look, before I forget, here's Lily's hairdryer. 424 00:19:09,413 --> 00:19:11,931 I borrowed it, like, a million years ago. 425 00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:13,432 Yeah, you can keep that. 426 00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:14,767 Um... Hey, listen, 427 00:19:14,769 --> 00:19:16,418 Ted told me what happened with you guys, 428 00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:18,187 and he says that he's at peace with it. 429 00:19:18,189 --> 00:19:19,922 Oh, really? 430 00:19:19,924 --> 00:19:21,474 That's good. 431 00:19:22,893 --> 00:19:24,259 He's lying, Robin. 432 00:19:24,261 --> 00:19:27,646 He's trying to be strong, but it's killing him, 433 00:19:27,648 --> 00:19:30,566 and so, as his best friend, 434 00:19:30,568 --> 00:19:32,535 I have to say something that... 435 00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:34,870 he loves you just way too much to say. 436 00:19:36,106 --> 00:19:38,557 You gotta move out. 437 00:19:40,443 --> 00:19:42,712 I know. 438 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:46,082 ♪ And all of the ghouls come out to play ♪ 439 00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:50,720 ♪ And every demon wants his pound of flesh ♪ 440 00:19:50,722 --> 00:19:54,790 ♪ But I like to keep some things to myself ♪ 441 00:19:54,792 --> 00:19:59,011 ♪ I like to keep my issues strong ♪ 442 00:19:59,013 --> 00:20:03,866 ♪ It's always darkest before the dawn ♪ 443 00:20:03,867 --> 00:20:07,996 ♪ And I've been a fool and I've been blind ♪ 444 00:20:08,212 --> 00:20:12,098 ♪ I can never leave the past behind ♪ 445 00:20:12,147 --> 00:20:13,936 ♪ I can see no way 446 00:20:13,936 --> 00:20:16,905 ♪ I can see no way ♪ 447 00:20:17,116 --> 00:20:21,358 ♪ I'm always dragging that horse around ♪ 448 00:20:21,508 --> 00:20:22,708 Here's the funny thing. 449 00:20:23,024 --> 00:20:26,392 In my own crazy way, I was kind of happy. 450 00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:29,696 For the first time in years, there was no little part of me 451 00:20:29,698 --> 00:20:32,181 clinging to the dream of being with Robin. 452 00:20:32,183 --> 00:20:34,784 Which meant, for the first time in years, 453 00:20:34,786 --> 00:20:36,402 the world was wide open. 454 00:20:36,404 --> 00:20:38,271 Because, kids... 455 00:20:38,273 --> 00:20:40,356 when a door closes, 456 00:20:40,357 --> 00:20:41,691 well... 457 00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:43,255 ...you know the rest. 458 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:50,626 ♪ Shake it out, shake it out 459 00:20:50,651 --> 00:20:51,766 ♪ Oh, whoa... 460 00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:53,557 ♪ And it's hard to dance 461 00:20:53,644 --> 00:20:55,477 ♪ With a devil on your back 462 00:20:55,532 --> 00:20:56,299 ♪ So shake him off 463 00:20:56,341 --> 00:20:58,341 - For Ted's sake, - I hate to say this, 464 00:20:58,343 --> 00:21:01,064 but... pay up. 465 00:21:03,614 --> 00:21:04,814 Not yet.