1
00:00:01,833 --> 00:00:05,467
Well, it's come to this...
we're drinking with our baby in a bar.
2
00:00:05,977 --> 00:00:07,040
It is not a bar.
3
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,825
It's a restaurant
that happens to have a bar.
4
00:00:09,827 --> 00:00:12,194
Ergo, we are good parents.
5
00:00:12,196 --> 00:00:14,030
Unrelated: I'm getting faced right now.
6
00:00:14,032 --> 00:00:15,397
Papa needs a grease coat.
7
00:00:15,399 --> 00:00:16,832
While it is heartwarming to watch
8
00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:19,068
your firstborn teethe
on a jalapeño popper,
9
00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:20,836
wasn't Mickey gonna watch him today?
10
00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:21,837
My dad's out all week.
11
00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:22,955
He's got the sniffles.
12
00:00:22,957 --> 00:00:24,974
For someone who's
survived numerous beatings
13
00:00:24,976 --> 00:00:26,459
from loan sharks, he has
14
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:29,411
a surprisingly delicate constitution.
15
00:00:29,413 --> 00:00:30,630
Well, my semester's over
16
00:00:30,632 --> 00:00:32,381
and the GNB building is finally done.
17
00:00:32,383 --> 00:00:34,583
If you guys want, I'm
free to watch Marvin.
18
00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:35,635
I'm meeting with a headhunter
19
00:00:35,637 --> 00:00:36,886
next week to line up
20
00:00:36,888 --> 00:00:38,971
my next project, but
until then, what the hell?
21
00:00:38,973 --> 00:00:42,108
Ted, although a
"what the hell" attitude is
22
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,226
incredibly sought after in a babysitter,
23
00:00:44,228 --> 00:00:45,861
I think that Lily and Marshall...
24
00:00:45,863 --> 00:00:47,113
You're hired.
25
00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:48,764
Now that we've been
26
00:00:48,766 --> 00:00:50,032
parents for awhile, we realize
27
00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:52,201
that pretty much any
moron can take care of a baby.
28
00:00:52,203 --> 00:00:53,953
Thank you.
29
00:00:53,955 --> 00:00:56,238
Mine!
30
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:57,272
Ow.
31
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:58,791
Delicious and mine.
32
00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:03,329
They do look yummy yum-yum, mister.
33
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:09,468
No. No!
34
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:10,953
What have I done?
35
00:01:10,955 --> 00:01:14,006
I am so sorry, Cornelius.
36
00:01:14,008 --> 00:01:16,342
You deserve a better end than this!
37
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:18,460
You got ketchup on a red tie.
38
00:01:18,462 --> 00:01:19,762
You can't even see it.
39
00:01:19,786 --> 00:01:24,786
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com
40
00:01:25,403 --> 00:01:26,435
Clear!
41
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:29,522
I'm going in.
42
00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,944
Oh, my...
43
00:01:34,946 --> 00:01:36,612
Damn it, guys, we lost him.
44
00:01:36,614 --> 00:01:38,664
And he was so close to retirement.
45
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,866
Just this morning he said to me,
46
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,536
"I'm getting too old for this shirt".
47
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:47,823
I know, dude.
48
00:01:55,098 --> 00:01:56,716
Oh, my God.
49
00:01:56,718 --> 00:02:00,169
You are such a good folder.
50
00:02:00,171 --> 00:02:02,104
That's, like, The Gap good.
51
00:02:04,025 --> 00:02:05,941
Robin...
52
00:02:07,677 --> 00:02:09,528
let's go hit the bar.
53
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:10,780
At this restaurant.
54
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:12,698
I think they have a bar here.
55
00:02:15,952 --> 00:02:18,520
Okay, what was that? What was what?
56
00:02:18,522 --> 00:02:21,157
The "dumb cheerleader
flirting with the quarterback" thing.
57
00:02:21,159 --> 00:02:22,291
You looked like you were gonna
58
00:02:22,293 --> 00:02:23,492
chase Barney down with
59
00:02:23,494 --> 00:02:25,294
a sixer of watermelon wine coolers.
60
00:02:25,296 --> 00:02:28,047
First of all, those bad
girls come in fourskis.
61
00:02:28,049 --> 00:02:31,634
And second, why would I
be flirting with Barney?
62
00:02:31,636 --> 00:02:35,471
I'm not interested in him,
and I made that very clear.
63
00:02:35,473 --> 00:02:37,723
With something that I did.
64
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:38,841
Recently.
65
00:02:38,843 --> 00:02:40,042
Just spill it.
66
00:02:40,044 --> 00:02:42,428
The other week, Barney made a move,
67
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:44,379
but I turned him down.
68
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:46,766
I felt awful for
closing the door in his face,
69
00:02:46,768 --> 00:02:48,484
but he realized I was right.
70
00:02:48,486 --> 00:02:50,319
I'm done trying to get you.
71
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:52,571
I can't do it anymore.
72
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,556
And now I get it. Get what?
73
00:02:54,558 --> 00:02:57,159
You may have closed the
door on Barney, but he locked it.
74
00:02:57,161 --> 00:02:58,393
What? No, he didn't.
75
00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,662
Yeah, he got the last word,
76
00:02:59,664 --> 00:03:00,863
and now you want
77
00:03:00,865 --> 00:03:02,898
what you can't have, like you always do.
78
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:05,835
It's the classic lobster situation.
79
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,620
I'm afraid you're allergic to lobster.
80
00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:11,573
You can never, ever, ever have it.
81
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:22,417
Oh, this... is... delicious.
82
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,436
Once you learned you
couldn't have lobster,
83
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:25,971
you became obsessed.
84
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:26,972
Barney's the same thing.
85
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:29,058
And this is gonna blow up in your face,
86
00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:31,260
just like the lobster blew up your face.
87
00:03:31,262 --> 00:03:33,863
Wrong. This is nothing like lobster.
88
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:35,264
Okay.
89
00:03:35,266 --> 00:03:37,099
Just remember, you can
never hook up with Barney again.
90
00:03:37,101 --> 00:03:38,367
That's fine. Never.
91
00:03:38,369 --> 00:03:44,123
Ever, ever, ever, ever.
92
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,421
Oh, no.
93
00:03:59,423 --> 00:04:01,223
Marshall, Lily and Ted can't make it,
94
00:04:01,225 --> 00:04:02,975
for viable reasons I just learned
95
00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:05,661
via this text message
I accidentally deleted.
96
00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:07,847
Guess it's just gonna be you and me.
97
00:04:07,849 --> 00:04:08,797
Fine by me.
98
00:04:08,799 --> 00:04:11,133
Me, too. Totally.
99
00:04:11,135 --> 00:04:12,234
Supafine.
100
00:04:13,804 --> 00:04:15,938
Hey there, Scherbats, your
voice of reason here.
101
00:04:15,940 --> 00:04:17,022
What you doing?
102
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,307
I hope you don't mind,
103
00:04:18,309 --> 00:04:20,609
but I was hungry, so I
ordered MacLaren's new special.
104
00:04:20,611 --> 00:04:24,146
I couldn't eat lunch at
work because they ordered
105
00:04:24,148 --> 00:04:25,698
Thai food.
106
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,649
I miss you, Cornelius!
107
00:04:27,651 --> 00:04:29,785
Oh, my God.
108
00:04:29,787 --> 00:04:31,086
You're so sensitive.
109
00:04:31,088 --> 00:04:32,338
And deep.
110
00:04:33,089 --> 00:04:35,124
No. You're better than this.
111
00:04:35,126 --> 00:04:37,760
Barney is not like lobster.
112
00:04:37,762 --> 00:04:40,495
Okay, that's
unfortunate, but it doesn't mean
113
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:41,663
you have to hook up with Barney.
114
00:04:41,665 --> 00:04:42,514
Whoa!
115
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,999
God, you said that out loud!
116
00:04:44,001 --> 00:04:45,217
No, I didn't.
117
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:46,969
How would you know?
You're out of control.
118
00:04:46,971 --> 00:04:49,889
Oh, you think you're so
smart, don't you, bitch?
119
00:04:49,891 --> 00:04:53,058
Um, billion-dollar idea alert.
120
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,778
Why should bibs only
be socially acceptable
121
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:56,779
when you're eating lobster?
122
00:04:56,781 --> 00:04:58,513
If we could wear them all the time,
123
00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,115
then Corny would still be
124
00:05:00,117 --> 00:05:01,901
with us right now.
125
00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:03,619
I miss...
126
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,790
Picture a bib that looks like your suit:
127
00:05:07,792 --> 00:05:09,992
a collar, a tie, a jacket.
128
00:05:09,994 --> 00:05:10,910
Mm-hmm.
129
00:05:10,912 --> 00:05:12,861
Atta girl. Keep it cool.
130
00:05:12,863 --> 00:05:15,864
I could call them Brobibs!
131
00:05:15,866 --> 00:05:17,366
That's interesting.
132
00:05:17,368 --> 00:05:19,251
Yeah, you got this.
133
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,754
I'm sorry I called you a bitch.
134
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:22,838
What do you think?
135
00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:25,808
Oh, that idea's amazeballs!
136
00:05:26,928 --> 00:05:28,227
That's it. I'm out of here.
137
00:05:32,616 --> 00:05:33,632
I'm out of control.
138
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:34,650
I came this close
139
00:05:34,652 --> 00:05:35,985
to telling Barney that I wanted him.
140
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:39,088
Robin, as your
friend, I got to be honest.
141
00:05:39,090 --> 00:05:42,358
I think this Brobibs
thing is a frickin' gold mine.
142
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:43,392
What? No.
143
00:05:43,394 --> 00:05:45,160
Lily, I really need advice.
144
00:05:45,162 --> 00:05:46,161
Okay.
145
00:05:46,163 --> 00:05:47,446
Invest now.
146
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:50,366
Seriously, it's like
Apple at ten dollars a share.
147
00:05:50,368 --> 00:05:51,367
Lily, please.
148
00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:52,868
Okay, I'm sorry.
149
00:05:52,870 --> 00:05:54,453
I'm just, I'm a little distracted.
150
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,871
I got to get upstairs
151
00:05:55,873 --> 00:05:57,906
and check on Ted and Marvin.
152
00:05:57,908 --> 00:06:01,710
Can we please just talk about this
Brobib thing another time?
153
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:05,681
How was your day?
154
00:06:05,683 --> 00:06:07,749
Good, although I
think I just saw a woman
155
00:06:07,751 --> 00:06:09,718
with a full beard outside.
156
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,020
Marvin crawled!
157
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,087
What?
158
00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:13,422
He's never done that before.
159
00:06:13,424 --> 00:06:14,673
I know!
160
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,759
I think I just saw a
guy with breasts outside.
161
00:06:17,761 --> 00:06:19,478
Marvin crawled.
162
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,096
I can't believe it. Believe it.
163
00:06:21,098 --> 00:06:22,281
I took a video for you.
164
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,900
You're doing it, Marvin.
165
00:06:24,902 --> 00:06:27,102
Go, go, go, go, go.
166
00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:28,570
Oh!
167
00:06:28,572 --> 00:06:31,240
Your Uncle Ted is so proud.
168
00:06:31,242 --> 00:06:32,291
Whoops.
169
00:06:32,293 --> 00:06:33,709
Guess I had the camera flipped.
170
00:06:34,627 --> 00:06:37,329
I use it to check my teeth for debris.
171
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:42,584
Ooh, sounds like somebody's
"crawling" me.
172
00:06:46,223 --> 00:06:48,140
Oh, sweetie, oh, come on.
173
00:06:48,142 --> 00:06:50,843
Lil, listen, so we missed
the first time he crawled.
174
00:06:50,845 --> 00:06:52,177
So what?
175
00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,146
We'll see it the next time, I promise.
176
00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:55,764
Oh, my God, he just did it again!
177
00:07:01,668 --> 00:07:05,026
Guys, get in here! Marvin
can't stop crawling!
178
00:07:05,226 --> 00:07:06,458
He's Holden Crawl-field!
179
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:10,295
Get in here right
now... nope, nope, it's over.
180
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,132
Okay, hey, I know.
181
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,901
Baby, I know, I know.
182
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,737
But, listen, there will be plenty
of other Marvin firsts.
183
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:19,905
His first day at school,
184
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,974
his first trip to meet Santa,
185
00:07:21,976 --> 00:07:23,776
his first touchdown pass for
186
00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:26,028
the 2032 Super Bowl
champion Vikings... no pressure.
187
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:28,831
I'll love him even if he
runs the ball into the end zone.
188
00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:32,150
So can we please just
let this crawling thing go?
189
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,536
Yeah, okay. You're right.
190
00:07:33,538 --> 00:07:35,287
I mean, I'm being nuts.
191
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,922
We'll see it when we see it.
192
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:37,957
Yeah.
193
00:07:37,959 --> 00:07:39,391
Do it.
194
00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:41,493
If you ever want to see
these boobs again,
195
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,462
crawl, you son of a me.
196
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:45,097
Come on, Lil.
197
00:07:45,099 --> 00:07:49,018
You know what they say: a
watched tot never crawls.
198
00:07:50,988 --> 00:07:52,805
Or calls you later in life,
199
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:54,773
after it sees this disturbing footage.
200
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,776
Hey, Lily, Marshall.
201
00:07:57,778 --> 00:07:59,311
Uh, Lily, we need to talk.
202
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,313
Oh, that sounds serious!
203
00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,548
Oh, you guys should talk about it
204
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,567
down at the bar until
after Marvin's asleep.
205
00:08:04,569 --> 00:08:06,018
And if you want to stay down there until
206
00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:07,286
after SportsCenter's
over, that's fine, too.
207
00:08:07,288 --> 00:08:10,489
Ooh.
208
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:11,490
Keep shooting.
209
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,659
If you miss it, I'm leaving you.
210
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,518
Yeah, that seems about right.
211
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,637
Sorry if I'm bad company.
212
00:08:24,639 --> 00:08:25,921
I'm not sure anything is gonna
213
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:28,807
take my mind off of
missing Marvin's first crawl.
214
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:31,176
Lily, I've had a revelation.
215
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,595
Brobibs for women.
216
00:08:32,597 --> 00:08:33,979
Bitchbibs!
217
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,213
You know Barney's gonna sue us,
218
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,932
but damn it, let's just go for it.
219
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,216
No, Lily, this is serious.
220
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:40,686
When that doctor told
me I couldn't eat lobster
221
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,938
and I did it
anyway, it almost killed me.
222
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,156
But here's the thing:
223
00:08:44,158 --> 00:08:46,558
I never wanted lobster again.
224
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:47,993
So the solution is obvious.
225
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,329
The only way to get Barney
out of my system
226
00:08:50,331 --> 00:08:54,450
is to get him into my
system, one last time.
227
00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:55,868
It's brilliant, right?
228
00:08:55,870 --> 00:08:57,069
Not brilliant at all.
229
00:08:57,071 --> 00:08:59,038
Thanks for being on board. Not on board.
230
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,673
It means a lot. Big mistake.
231
00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:02,541
You're my girl.
232
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:06,845
Now it's just a
question of how to get him...
233
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,300
Hey, Robin, I just got your text.
234
00:09:11,302 --> 00:09:12,518
What's the big emergency?
235
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:13,519
Hi, Barney!
236
00:09:13,521 --> 00:09:15,054
You seem like you run fast.
237
00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:17,089
Do you want me to fan
you with my US magazine?
238
00:09:17,091 --> 00:09:18,857
He's fine. Thanks, Patrice.
239
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,611
Oh, thank goodness you're here.
240
00:09:22,613 --> 00:09:24,530
I just got this new printer,
241
00:09:24,532 --> 00:09:26,065
and I need somebody big and strong
242
00:09:26,067 --> 00:09:27,650
to take it to my office for me.
243
00:09:27,652 --> 00:09:30,235
I promise to repay you.
244
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,937
We'll do it for you, Robin!
245
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:35,040
Don't you have a late-breaking
weather story to cover, Brandi?
246
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,775
Oh, I did it already.
247
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,776
It rained.
248
00:09:38,813 --> 00:09:40,278
Oh, I got to jump on
249
00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,914
a big Brobibs conference call.
250
00:09:41,916 --> 00:09:45,467
The lawyer from Dude
Aprons is really busting my balls.
251
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:46,635
See ya.
252
00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:51,123
Nobody asked for your help, Patrice!
253
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:54,426
You either, Brandi!
254
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:57,963
Stop it.
255
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,181
Hey, hey.
256
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:01,934
What are you guys doing slobbering
all over my friend?
257
00:10:01,936 --> 00:10:04,186
Oh, Barney, don't be jealous.
258
00:10:04,188 --> 00:10:07,656
If you're gonna drool, do it in style!
259
00:10:07,658 --> 00:10:11,110
Just go to Brobibs.com.
260
00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:13,495
We've got every look in the book.
261
00:10:13,497 --> 00:10:16,782
The Business Casual.
262
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,917
The Preppy.
263
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,921
The Robin Williams.
264
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,426
Bib up!
265
00:10:27,428 --> 00:10:28,927
Brobibs is in no way affiliated with,
266
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:31,263
inspired by or
derivative of Dude Aprons.
267
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:37,936
Hey, there.
268
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,039
Hey!
269
00:10:40,041 --> 00:10:43,108
It is so good to see you.
270
00:10:44,362 --> 00:10:46,111
Thanks, Robin.
271
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,647
This game affects my league score.
272
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,236
Look, I don't agree with
your lobster quest,
273
00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:57,156
but I can't stand watching
you make a fool of yourself.
274
00:10:57,158 --> 00:10:59,691
You want the fix? I got the fix.
275
00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:01,326
Back in college...
276
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,046
it was love at first
sight for me and Marshall,
277
00:11:04,048 --> 00:11:07,299
but when it came to
making the first move, well,
278
00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:09,168
he needed help.
279
00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:13,222
So I took matters into my own hands.
280
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:18,227
Let's get out of here.
281
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,514
You just need a girl who, I don't know,
282
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:24,817
gets a few drinks in
her and wants to have fun
283
00:11:24,819 --> 00:11:26,268
and put on a show. Mm-hmm.
284
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,887
And it drives guys
crazy, 'cause you both
285
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,239
don't even care.
286
00:11:30,241 --> 00:11:32,524
It's just stupid and fun.
287
00:11:33,494 --> 00:11:35,560
Lily, that sounds perfect. Thank you.
288
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:37,996
Mm. Just stupid.
289
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,232
Stupid and fun.
290
00:11:46,089 --> 00:11:48,841
Who the hell is that?
291
00:11:48,843 --> 00:11:50,192
Hey, guys.
292
00:11:50,194 --> 00:11:53,529
Barney, this is Brandi,
my fun friend from work,
293
00:11:53,531 --> 00:11:55,413
who just doesn't even care.
294
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,716
Hello, Brandi.
295
00:11:57,718 --> 00:11:59,718
Congratulations on the gig.
296
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:00,752
Aw, thank you!
297
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:02,888
World Wide News is an
amazing place to work.
298
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:06,225
Not that gig, sweetheart.
299
00:12:11,414 --> 00:12:13,799
Marshall!
300
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:16,618
What? Ow.
301
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:17,736
It's late.
302
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:19,571
I'm so tipsy.
303
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,441
It is late. We should get out of here.
304
00:12:25,462 --> 00:12:29,465
So, Brandi, ever sneak into the studio
305
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:31,467
and do it in front of the weather map?
306
00:12:31,469 --> 00:12:33,252
No. Why do you ask?
307
00:12:33,254 --> 00:12:34,720
No reason.
308
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:39,791
Someone is about to
get unseasonably banged.
309
00:12:42,078 --> 00:12:43,812
Damn it!
310
00:12:43,814 --> 00:12:45,230
What did I do wrong?
311
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:48,133
Nothing. It was
awesome. Oh, Marshall, let's go!
312
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:54,490
Hey. Hey, Lilypad!
313
00:12:54,492 --> 00:12:55,991
So, don't be upset.
314
00:12:55,993 --> 00:12:56,992
Ted...
315
00:12:56,994 --> 00:12:58,994
took Marvin shopping
316
00:12:58,996 --> 00:13:01,613
and sort of bought him...
317
00:13:01,615 --> 00:13:03,582
all his winter clothes.
318
00:13:03,584 --> 00:13:05,584
Get ready
319
00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:07,102
for our star runway model...
320
00:13:07,104 --> 00:13:10,072
or should I say, our
star crawlway model.
321
00:13:10,074 --> 00:13:11,707
He's doing it again,
guys! Get in here!
322
00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:14,009
N- No-no,
it's over.
323
00:13:14,011 --> 00:13:15,928
That's it. Ted's fired.
324
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:19,047
Fired? No, c-come on,
Lily, he's helping us out.
325
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,432
Plus, next week, your dad'll be back,
326
00:13:20,434 --> 00:13:22,601
and Ted has the
meeting with that headhunter.
327
00:13:22,603 --> 00:13:24,336
Let's just stay cool.
328
00:13:24,338 --> 00:13:26,471
Starting at quarterback,
329
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,724
the pride of Cleveland...
330
00:13:28,726 --> 00:13:31,843
Marvin Eriksen! Right?
331
00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:34,613
Right, guys? He's gonna
be a little Browns fan.
332
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,817
Oh, by the way, I cancelled
that meeting with the headhunter,
333
00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,852
so I can take care of Marvin next week.
334
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,188
What? No, no, my
dad'll be better by then.
335
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,790
Oh, I gave Mickey the month off.
336
00:13:44,792 --> 00:13:47,659
It's supposed to snow, and,
uh, Uncle Ted doesn't want to miss
337
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,328
Marvin's first sleigh ride.
338
00:13:49,330 --> 00:13:50,829
You're fired. You're fired.
339
00:13:57,928 --> 00:14:01,062
Marvin has a bib with
little... little dinosaurs on it.
340
00:14:01,064 --> 00:14:02,897
Maybe you should make one like that.
341
00:14:02,899 --> 00:14:05,567
Brobibs are for grown
men wearing bibs, Ted.
342
00:14:05,569 --> 00:14:08,036
I don't want them looking like idiots.
343
00:14:09,656 --> 00:14:12,774
Lily, Marshall, you know
you can't keep him away from me.
344
00:14:12,776 --> 00:14:14,242
He's gonna start asking questions.
345
00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:15,376
Calm down, Ted.
346
00:14:15,378 --> 00:14:16,944
We-we just wanted to apologize.
347
00:14:16,946 --> 00:14:18,463
We overreacted before.
348
00:14:18,465 --> 00:14:19,614
Mm-hmm.
349
00:14:19,616 --> 00:14:20,999
Meet us
350
00:14:21,001 --> 00:14:23,951
at the swim class you apparently
signed Marvin up for.
351
00:14:23,953 --> 00:14:25,587
Bubble Buddies? I'd love t...
352
00:14:25,589 --> 00:14:28,006
I mean, I'll have to check my skedge.
353
00:14:29,008 --> 00:14:30,124
Sorry. When I'm excited,
354
00:14:30,126 --> 00:14:31,309
I abbreviate words I shouldn't.
355
00:14:31,311 --> 00:14:32,560
Come on, Ted,
356
00:14:32,562 --> 00:14:33,678
what do you say?
357
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,063
Fab. Perf.
358
00:14:35,065 --> 00:14:35,847
Sorry.
359
00:14:35,849 --> 00:14:37,298
See you at B-Buds.
360
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:38,966
Bubble Buddies. Sorry.
361
00:14:42,187 --> 00:14:44,238
Augie. Jayden.
362
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,858
Dylan. Girl Dylan.
363
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:49,243
Hey, Ted. Hey. Where's Marvin?
364
00:14:49,245 --> 00:14:51,829
Does Coach Amber have him
warming up in the Jacooz?
365
00:14:51,831 --> 00:14:53,197
Sorry again.
366
00:14:53,199 --> 00:14:56,618
Aw, hey, buddy, listen,
we wanted to talk to you
367
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:59,787
about how you've kind of
been overdoing it with Marvin.
368
00:14:59,789 --> 00:15:01,289
I haven't been overdoing it.
369
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:03,474
Ted, we're in a baby swim class,
370
00:15:03,476 --> 00:15:05,343
and clearly you've done
something extreme
371
00:15:05,345 --> 00:15:08,096
to get the naming
rights to that lollipop bin.
372
00:15:08,098 --> 00:15:11,165
But I think that we've
373
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:12,833
figured out what's going on with you.
374
00:15:12,835 --> 00:15:14,435
See, after we let you go...
375
00:15:14,437 --> 00:15:16,137
What is this?
376
00:15:16,139 --> 00:15:18,356
Marvin's Book of Firsts?
377
00:15:30,019 --> 00:15:32,286
Ted took Marvin to see Santa?
378
00:15:32,288 --> 00:15:34,122
Oh, I am gonna take this book
379
00:15:34,124 --> 00:15:36,290
and I'm gonna shove it so far up his...
380
00:15:36,292 --> 00:15:38,159
The point is, it made us remember
381
00:15:38,161 --> 00:15:39,860
another scrapbook you made.
382
00:15:50,456 --> 00:15:52,707
That project really was your baby,
383
00:15:52,709 --> 00:15:56,043
and now it's over, and you're
scared to move on.
384
00:15:56,045 --> 00:15:59,347
I poured my blood, sweat and
tears into that building.
385
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:01,215
Though, to be fair, a
lot of that happened
386
00:16:01,217 --> 00:16:03,434
the day I accidentally
fell down the elevator shaft.
387
00:16:03,436 --> 00:16:04,435
Mm.
388
00:16:04,437 --> 00:16:05,553
The point is,
389
00:16:05,555 --> 00:16:06,904
it's just really hard to let go.
390
00:16:06,906 --> 00:16:09,157
Especially when that
building's my biggest accomplishment.
391
00:16:09,159 --> 00:16:10,358
I mean,
392
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,744
maybe if I was where you
guys are at in life,
393
00:16:12,746 --> 00:16:14,996
with all you have to be proud of...
394
00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:19,867
We get it, okay?
395
00:16:19,869 --> 00:16:22,203
You're always gonna be Uncle Ted.
396
00:16:22,205 --> 00:16:23,588
But if Marvin
397
00:16:23,590 --> 00:16:25,156
can't be your next project,
398
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:27,091
you need one of your own,
399
00:16:27,093 --> 00:16:30,294
and so we rescheduled your
meeting with that headhunter.
400
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,764
He's over there.
401
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:36,300
Which one is he?
402
00:16:37,269 --> 00:16:38,886
Thanks, guys.
403
00:16:38,888 --> 00:16:40,688
Marvin and I are
lucky you're our parents.
404
00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:42,140
Aw.
405
00:16:42,142 --> 00:16:44,058
Oh, hey, Ted?
406
00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:45,810
It's kind of a big,
professional meeting...
407
00:16:45,812 --> 00:16:47,895
you might want to
trade out that lollipop
408
00:16:47,897 --> 00:16:49,597
for a shirt. Yeah.
409
00:16:49,599 --> 00:16:52,266
I'll just give it to one
of these kids. Oh, buddy.
410
00:16:52,268 --> 00:16:53,568
What? You're half naked,
411
00:16:53,570 --> 00:16:56,604
you're not a parent
to any of these children...
412
00:16:56,606 --> 00:16:58,539
don't offer 'em candy.
413
00:16:59,625 --> 00:17:02,210
I can't believe
Barney went home with Brandi.
414
00:17:02,212 --> 00:17:04,746
I should have asked you
to do that play with me.
415
00:17:04,748 --> 00:17:07,131
Well, it's too late now, isn't it?
416
00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:08,949
There he is. Straddle
me. Start grinding.
417
00:17:08,951 --> 00:17:10,168
Nothing's off-limits.
418
00:17:11,003 --> 00:17:13,304
So, last night
419
00:17:13,306 --> 00:17:15,840
Brandi and I got to the WWN studios,
420
00:17:15,842 --> 00:17:17,925
and my high-pressure system
421
00:17:17,927 --> 00:17:20,928
was ready to slam into her warm front.
422
00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:22,597
The studio's unlocked,
423
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:23,765
the weather map's up...
424
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:26,400
ready to do it in 17 different
states at once?
425
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:29,470
Um, actually...
426
00:17:29,472 --> 00:17:31,856
I don't think I want that.
427
00:17:32,941 --> 00:17:34,492
I'm sorry.
428
00:17:34,494 --> 00:17:35,643
I'm-I'm...
429
00:17:35,645 --> 00:17:37,278
I'm gonna go.
430
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,248
Wait, you didn't sleep with her?
431
00:17:40,250 --> 00:17:41,332
Nope.
432
00:17:41,334 --> 00:17:43,167
I spent the night thinking about
433
00:17:43,169 --> 00:17:46,370
how everything I've done
since Quinn and I broke up
434
00:17:46,372 --> 00:17:48,456
has been a cry for help.
435
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,341
Dressing a dog up like me,
436
00:17:50,343 --> 00:17:52,043
hooking up with all those nannies...
437
00:17:52,045 --> 00:17:54,262
Brobibs? No, those are solid.
438
00:17:54,264 --> 00:17:55,263
I still want in.
439
00:17:55,265 --> 00:17:58,499
And I realized that... I'm searching,
440
00:17:58,501 --> 00:18:01,302
searching for what I
really want in life,
441
00:18:01,304 --> 00:18:02,687
and you know what?
442
00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:06,607
I have absolutely no idea what that is.
443
00:18:06,609 --> 00:18:08,860
Wow.
444
00:18:08,862 --> 00:18:11,011
Barney... But...
445
00:18:11,013 --> 00:18:13,281
I'm going to figure it out.
446
00:18:13,283 --> 00:18:15,116
I have to.
447
00:18:15,118 --> 00:18:17,485
Good night, guys.
448
00:18:20,188 --> 00:18:22,373
God, I feel awful.
449
00:18:22,375 --> 00:18:23,241
Barney is
450
00:18:23,243 --> 00:18:24,625
going through something big,
451
00:18:24,627 --> 00:18:27,545
and I've been obsessing about
one stupid final hookup
452
00:18:27,547 --> 00:18:29,714
to get him out of my system.
453
00:18:30,917 --> 00:18:32,533
He needs space...
454
00:18:32,535 --> 00:18:34,702
and time to figure things out.
455
00:18:34,704 --> 00:18:36,704
And I have to give it to him.
456
00:18:39,207 --> 00:18:41,225
Robin? What are you
doing here? It's okay
457
00:18:41,227 --> 00:18:44,145
if you don't know what
you want in life...
458
00:18:45,597 --> 00:18:48,933
as long as you know what you want...
459
00:18:48,935 --> 00:18:52,052
tonight.
460
00:18:52,888 --> 00:18:53,938
Well...
461
00:18:53,940 --> 00:18:56,407
I do know what I want.
462
00:18:58,727 --> 00:19:00,394
Hi, Robin!
463
00:19:00,396 --> 00:19:03,731
Nobody asked you here, Patrice!
464
00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:07,368
Actually, I did.
465
00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:09,036
Last night.
466
00:19:09,038 --> 00:19:11,122
Let me go see if the studio's open.
467
00:19:11,124 --> 00:19:13,407
All right.
468
00:19:16,077 --> 00:19:18,078
Oh, hi, Barney.
469
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:19,547
I'm working late.
470
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:21,215
What are you doing here?
471
00:19:21,217 --> 00:19:24,352
I'm...
472
00:19:24,354 --> 00:19:27,438
I don't know what I'm doing... here.
473
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:31,475
Barney... I don't
know you that well, but...
474
00:19:31,477 --> 00:19:33,227
are you okay?
475
00:19:33,229 --> 00:19:35,429
Yeah. What do you mean?
476
00:19:35,431 --> 00:19:36,814
Well, whenever I see someone unhappy,
477
00:19:36,816 --> 00:19:38,733
I get the urge to give them cookies,
478
00:19:38,735 --> 00:19:41,285
and I really want to give
you cookies right now.
479
00:19:43,438 --> 00:19:44,739
Cookie?
480
00:19:44,741 --> 00:19:47,441
Lame. No, thanks.
481
00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:49,276
You sure? They're heart-shaped.
482
00:19:49,278 --> 00:19:51,579
Sorry, a couple of them are broken.
483
00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:55,115
I know how they feel. I'd love one.
484
00:19:55,117 --> 00:19:57,117
After that, I sent Brandi packing,
485
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:59,470
and Patrice and I talked all night.
486
00:19:59,472 --> 00:20:00,504
We're...
487
00:20:00,506 --> 00:20:03,507
kind of on a date right now.
488
00:20:03,509 --> 00:20:05,810
But if you'd like to
throw on some clothes
489
00:20:05,812 --> 00:20:07,144
and join us for Crazy Eights...
490
00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:08,429
I can deal you in!
491
00:20:08,431 --> 00:20:10,464
My deck has puppies on it!
492
00:20:10,466 --> 00:20:11,849
Arf-arf!
493
00:20:14,302 --> 00:20:15,970
Um...
494
00:20:17,406 --> 00:20:18,522
I...
495
00:20:18,524 --> 00:20:20,524
got to go.
496
00:20:25,203 --> 00:20:27,422
Look, I still feel bad I went too far
497
00:20:27,522 --> 00:20:30,857
with all the Marvin
firsts... the Santa thing, especially.
498
00:20:30,888 --> 00:20:32,354
I mean, I should've known.
499
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,922
Are you sure you guys forgive me?
500
00:20:33,924 --> 00:20:36,091
Absolutely. Don't worry, no grudges.
501
00:20:36,093 --> 00:20:38,176
Great. Next round's on me.
502
00:20:40,379 --> 00:20:42,264
Coming, honey!
503
00:20:42,266 --> 00:20:44,850
Okay, you guys have all
the numbers... my cell,
504
00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:47,152
the restaurant, Center
for Disease Control?
505
00:20:47,154 --> 00:20:49,571
She's with her Aunt
Lily and Uncle Marshall.
506
00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:51,606
Nothing's gonna happen.
507
00:20:51,608 --> 00:20:52,691
You're right.
508
00:20:52,693 --> 00:20:53,692
You're totally right.
509
00:20:53,694 --> 00:20:55,193
Okay...
510
00:20:55,195 --> 00:20:56,227
Bye, sweetie.
511
00:20:56,229 --> 00:20:57,496
Here, you...
512
00:20:57,498 --> 00:20:59,698
Mm...
513
00:21:01,034 --> 00:21:03,752
Get out of here, ya crazy. Would
you get out of here already.
514
00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:09,276
Who's ready to meet Santa?