1 00:00:01,261 --> 00:00:03,592 Kids, sometimes when you're about to give up 2 00:00:03,631 --> 00:00:06,144 on your love life forever for the 17th time, 3 00:00:06,535 --> 00:00:08,519 destiny intervenes. 4 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:11,241 Instead of rushing in, I took my time 5 00:00:11,266 --> 00:00:13,642 to think up the perfect opening line. 6 00:00:15,179 --> 00:00:17,254 Wait, no, damn it, come back! You're really... 7 00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:18,733 You're pretty! 8 00:00:18,788 --> 00:00:20,579 And before I could call out after her, 9 00:00:20,614 --> 00:00:21,827 in any kind of embarrassing way 10 00:00:21,858 --> 00:00:24,130 that a bunch of teenagers made fun of for the next five stops 11 00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,599 while I stared straight ahead and pretended not to hear them, 12 00:00:26,837 --> 00:00:28,087 she was gone. 13 00:00:28,402 --> 00:00:30,771 But here's the thing about Ted Mosby: 14 00:00:30,802 --> 00:00:31,822 he doesn't give up. 15 00:00:31,842 --> 00:00:33,823 Stalker Ted alert. 16 00:00:33,854 --> 00:00:35,376 Repeat, Stalker Ted alert. 17 00:00:35,409 --> 00:00:37,088 Already has a yellow legal pad going. 18 00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:39,104 Repeat, already has a yellow legal pad going. 19 00:00:39,132 --> 00:00:40,422 I'm not stalking. 20 00:00:40,459 --> 00:00:43,753 I just jotted down a few details to help me find her. 21 00:00:43,770 --> 00:00:46,645 Uh, like the fact that her smile was cute, 22 00:00:46,723 --> 00:00:48,023 but a bit crooked, 23 00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:49,852 which can be a sign of teeth grinding. 24 00:00:49,876 --> 00:00:52,637 So I called up the city's top five TMJ specialists, 25 00:00:52,687 --> 00:00:54,699 and here's where it gets interesting. 26 00:00:54,717 --> 00:00:56,677 Not interesting, Ted, creepy. 27 00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:57,658 Let her go. 28 00:00:57,684 --> 00:00:58,772 No, this is destiny. 29 00:00:58,791 --> 00:01:00,969 No, Ted, this is forcing it. 30 00:01:01,038 --> 00:01:04,081 When Lily and I met, I mean, that was destiny. 31 00:01:04,327 --> 00:01:05,991 She could've knocked on any door 32 00:01:06,013 --> 00:01:07,521 to find someone to fix her stereo, 33 00:01:07,558 --> 00:01:09,116 but she knocked on mine. 34 00:01:12,662 --> 00:01:14,438 Now hand over the pad. 35 00:01:17,362 --> 00:01:18,424 Ted... 36 00:01:19,158 --> 00:01:21,314 And the backup pad. 37 00:01:21,942 --> 00:01:23,089 They were right. 38 00:01:23,114 --> 00:01:24,746 You can't force destiny. 39 00:01:24,773 --> 00:01:26,339 If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. 40 00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:29,621 And funny story, kids... 41 00:01:29,911 --> 00:01:31,381 Oh, my God. 42 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:32,742 It's you. 43 00:01:32,781 --> 00:01:34,372 it happened. 44 00:01:34,396 --> 00:01:42,396 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 45 00:01:48,082 --> 00:01:51,091 Subway Girl's name is Jeanette, 46 00:01:51,131 --> 00:01:53,106 and she does grind her teeth. 47 00:01:53,137 --> 00:01:55,104 I assume that started the moment she met you? 48 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:57,577 Uh, well, the fact is 49 00:01:57,608 --> 00:02:00,275 she wanted to find me. 50 00:02:00,556 --> 00:02:03,019 The first thing I did was list out all the details 51 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,582 I remembered about you. 52 00:02:04,864 --> 00:02:06,451 Is... is that a yellow legal pad? 53 00:02:06,478 --> 00:02:07,543 Yeah. 54 00:02:07,571 --> 00:02:08,721 I've even got a backup. 55 00:02:08,739 --> 00:02:10,039 Oh, my God. 56 00:02:10,502 --> 00:02:13,702 You had a tweed blazer and chalk all over your hands, 57 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,444 so I figured you were either a professor 58 00:02:15,463 --> 00:02:16,793 or a British gymnast. 59 00:02:16,824 --> 00:02:19,791 I'm bloody good on the pommel 'orse. 60 00:02:20,613 --> 00:02:22,638 Regrettin' this accent. 61 00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:24,610 Can't seem to stop. 62 00:02:24,635 --> 00:02:26,357 So then I asked the lady at the student center 63 00:02:26,388 --> 00:02:27,782 where I could find the youngest, 64 00:02:27,794 --> 00:02:29,460 cutest professor on staff. 65 00:02:29,496 --> 00:02:30,578 And...? 66 00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,085 She sent me to a physics class. 67 00:02:32,192 --> 00:02:34,025 Professor Leyborne? 68 00:02:34,083 --> 00:02:36,341 I wonder if she'd think Dr. Goodhair was so cute 69 00:02:36,372 --> 00:02:38,799 if she knew he hasn't been published in over a year? 70 00:02:38,834 --> 00:02:39,967 Then she sent me here, 71 00:02:39,992 --> 00:02:42,559 but the security guard wouldn't let me in without an ID. 72 00:02:42,665 --> 00:02:43,722 I was about to give up 73 00:02:43,747 --> 00:02:45,813 when the fire alarm just sent you out. 74 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:47,249 It was like... 75 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:48,396 Destiny. 76 00:02:48,439 --> 00:02:50,085 Right? Right? 77 00:02:50,112 --> 00:02:51,206 It's a meet-cute. 78 00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,452 - It's a stalk-crazy. - Look... 79 00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:54,722 there's a fine line 80 00:02:54,749 --> 00:02:57,183 between love and insanity. 81 00:02:57,434 --> 00:02:58,332 It's... 82 00:02:58,515 --> 00:03:00,172 the Dobler-Dahmer theory. 83 00:03:00,198 --> 00:03:01,358 Oh, no... 84 00:03:01,395 --> 00:03:03,558 - Damn, I always forget the little one. - All right. 85 00:03:03,586 --> 00:03:05,736 If both people are into each other, 86 00:03:05,762 --> 00:03:07,661 a big romantic gesture works. 87 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,197 Like Lloyd Dobler holding up the boom box 88 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,630 outside Diane Court's window in Say Anything. 89 00:03:12,706 --> 00:03:14,764 But if one person isn't into the other, 90 00:03:14,783 --> 00:03:17,317 the same gesture comes off serial-killer crazy, 91 00:03:17,342 --> 00:03:19,092 or Dahmer. 92 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,514 Now, Marshall, the story of 93 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,035 how you asked out Lily is super sweet. 94 00:03:24,014 --> 00:03:25,749 # Lily, how you thrill me 95 00:03:25,786 --> 00:03:27,908 # But it may just even kill me 96 00:03:27,938 --> 00:03:30,060 # If you do not say "I will-y" 97 00:03:30,102 --> 00:03:32,208 # To this question 98 00:03:33,703 --> 00:03:37,790 # Will you go out with me? 99 00:03:38,612 --> 00:03:40,419 I will-y. 100 00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:41,869 Dobler. 101 00:03:41,894 --> 00:03:43,661 But if Lily wasn't into you? 102 00:03:44,185 --> 00:03:45,891 # Lily, how you thrill me 103 00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:48,005 # But it might just even kill me # 104 00:03:48,041 --> 00:03:50,208 # If you do not say "I will-y" 105 00:03:50,244 --> 00:03:52,160 # To this question 106 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:56,484 # Will you go out with me? 107 00:03:59,115 --> 00:04:00,172 Dahmer. 108 00:04:00,197 --> 00:04:02,314 Whether a gesture's charming or alarming 109 00:04:02,336 --> 00:04:03,988 depends on how it's received. 110 00:04:04,019 --> 00:04:06,774 And I was charmed by Jeanette finding me, 111 00:04:06,805 --> 00:04:08,533 hence... she's a Dobler. 112 00:04:08,570 --> 00:04:10,998 Don't you think it's a little convenient 113 00:04:11,029 --> 00:04:14,240 how that fire alarm happened to randomly go off? 114 00:04:14,363 --> 00:04:15,579 What are you saying? 115 00:04:15,606 --> 00:04:17,406 Ted, does she have enormous cans? 116 00:04:17,429 --> 00:04:18,954 - No. - Then what we're saying is 117 00:04:18,985 --> 00:04:21,126 she's a crazy stalker bitch who pulled that fire alarm 118 00:04:21,163 --> 00:04:22,420 and you should run screaming. 119 00:04:22,442 --> 00:04:23,725 You know what? I don't think 120 00:04:23,756 --> 00:04:26,747 that we should be so cavalier with the word "stalker". 121 00:04:26,999 --> 00:04:28,918 Why does that word bother you so much? 122 00:04:28,985 --> 00:04:30,314 Doesn't bother me. 123 00:04:30,373 --> 00:04:33,124 Wait... do you have a stalker? 124 00:04:34,255 --> 00:04:36,183 - I don't want to talk about this. - What do you mean? 125 00:04:36,214 --> 00:04:37,845 As your fiancé, if you have 126 00:04:37,875 --> 00:04:39,909 some psycho stalker out there, I should know. 127 00:04:39,927 --> 00:04:41,226 It was me. 128 00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:42,906 I was a stalker. 129 00:04:43,259 --> 00:04:44,753 It was back in Canada. 130 00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:45,991 I liked a guy 131 00:04:46,018 --> 00:04:48,380 and he didn't like me, and... 132 00:04:48,778 --> 00:04:50,569 well, I got a little obsessed. 133 00:04:50,743 --> 00:04:52,964 I'd fill up my journals all about him, 134 00:04:52,989 --> 00:04:55,156 and eventually there may have been 135 00:04:55,175 --> 00:04:58,243 a teensy-weensy 50-meter restraining order. 136 00:04:58,314 --> 00:05:00,373 50 meters? 137 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:01,535 That's like... 138 00:05:01,644 --> 00:05:03,644 four years. 139 00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:04,994 Wow. 140 00:05:05,025 --> 00:05:07,302 You must have been a total nutbag. 141 00:05:07,415 --> 00:05:08,397 I wasn't. 142 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,423 Ted is right, there is a fine line. 143 00:05:10,441 --> 00:05:12,186 Anyone can cross it and get obsessed. 144 00:05:12,209 --> 00:05:14,413 Yeah, if you're a total nutbag. 145 00:05:15,881 --> 00:05:18,132 Now... who's the guy? 146 00:05:18,140 --> 00:05:19,556 I'm not telling you until you admit 147 00:05:19,564 --> 00:05:20,929 that this can happen to anybody. 148 00:05:20,941 --> 00:05:21,929 I'm not admitting that. 149 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,176 Fine. Forget it. I'm not telling you. 150 00:05:23,203 --> 00:05:24,502 Fine. Forgotten. 151 00:05:32,564 --> 00:05:36,037 "You are so beautiful. 152 00:05:36,093 --> 00:05:37,683 "Why can't you see me? 153 00:05:38,073 --> 00:05:40,223 "Someday, I'll make you see me 154 00:05:40,251 --> 00:05:42,168 "and we'll be together. 155 00:05:42,358 --> 00:05:43,774 "P.S. I love you. 156 00:05:44,607 --> 00:05:46,608 "P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. 157 00:05:46,628 --> 00:05:48,378 "P.S. I love you. 158 00:05:48,387 --> 00:05:50,136 "P.S. I love you. P.S. I love you. 159 00:05:50,169 --> 00:05:53,121 P.S. I love you, you, you". 160 00:05:53,277 --> 00:05:54,960 This is "ridikilus". 161 00:05:54,993 --> 00:05:57,110 Who cares who she was obsessed with? 162 00:05:57,167 --> 00:05:59,974 What, am I gonna go to Canada and track this guy down? 163 00:06:01,723 --> 00:06:02,765 Thankfully, 164 00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,689 unlike Uncle Barney, I wasn't the kind of guy 165 00:06:04,726 --> 00:06:06,169 to fixate on one little detail. 166 00:06:06,190 --> 00:06:07,956 That fire alarm... did you pull it? 167 00:06:08,276 --> 00:06:09,149 Ugh... 168 00:06:09,162 --> 00:06:10,780 This is embarrassing. 169 00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:13,674 I wasn't gonna tell you this, but... 170 00:06:13,726 --> 00:06:14,820 I'd come so far, 171 00:06:14,857 --> 00:06:17,491 only to be sent packing by that security guard, 172 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,261 and... well... 173 00:06:22,563 --> 00:06:23,501 I'm sorry. 174 00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:25,039 I just couldn't stand the idea 175 00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,566 of not meeting you. 176 00:06:27,492 --> 00:06:28,618 Could not 177 00:06:28,662 --> 00:06:31,380 stand the idea 178 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,223 of not meeting me. 179 00:06:33,256 --> 00:06:36,658 Was it a little over the top to pull that fire alarm? Perhaps. 180 00:06:37,018 --> 00:06:38,101 But it charmed me. 181 00:06:38,134 --> 00:06:40,568 Hence... Dobler. 182 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:42,930 Aha! You see? 183 00:06:43,135 --> 00:06:44,698 People don't put fire alarms 184 00:06:44,717 --> 00:06:47,430 out in front lobbies for just anyone to prank pull. 185 00:06:47,489 --> 00:06:48,861 They put smoke detectors 186 00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:50,307 up on the ceiling. 187 00:06:50,471 --> 00:06:51,878 Hold on. 188 00:06:51,909 --> 00:06:54,042 I'm beginning to think that you guys didn't come here 189 00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:55,717 to see my new lectern. 190 00:06:56,293 --> 00:06:58,836 Are you implying Jeanette started a fire? 191 00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:00,636 - Dahmer. - Dobler. 192 00:07:00,968 --> 00:07:02,334 She's John Cusack, 193 00:07:02,536 --> 00:07:03,902 I'm Ione Skye, 194 00:07:03,916 --> 00:07:06,199 and there is nothing weird about that. 195 00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:11,599 Gordie Bellavoh. 196 00:07:11,653 --> 00:07:13,486 Thanks again for the free donuts, eh? 197 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,914 So, you up here visiting family? 198 00:07:15,951 --> 00:07:18,135 No. I'm not Canadian. 199 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,230 Not even a quarter Canadian on my father's side. 200 00:07:20,256 --> 00:07:21,589 Shut up. 201 00:07:22,204 --> 00:07:23,485 We're not talking "aboot" me... 202 00:07:23,521 --> 00:07:25,958 about me. Whoa. 203 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,373 How long did you and Robin date? 204 00:07:28,403 --> 00:07:29,859 Well, it wasn't really dating. 205 00:07:29,899 --> 00:07:32,615 We'd take a sixer of Labatts behind the hydro plant 206 00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:35,027 and she'd let me go under her parka over turtleneck. 207 00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:37,001 Summer love. 208 00:07:37,776 --> 00:07:39,752 Was Robin obsessed with you? 209 00:07:39,765 --> 00:07:40,520 No. 210 00:07:40,538 --> 00:07:41,458 No. 211 00:07:41,489 --> 00:07:43,210 Robin was way more into this guy named... 212 00:07:43,235 --> 00:07:45,151 Turk Grimsby. 213 00:07:45,197 --> 00:07:47,595 I hear Robin was obsessed with you? 214 00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:49,513 No. We only went out a few times, 215 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,744 barely knew each other. 216 00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,468 All we talked about was her relationship with her mother, 217 00:07:53,486 --> 00:07:55,185 the gnawing feelings of inadequacy, 218 00:07:55,232 --> 00:07:57,816 all the horrible secrets on that side of the family. 219 00:07:57,842 --> 00:07:59,460 But heck, you're her fiancé. 220 00:07:59,485 --> 00:08:01,055 You know all that, right? 221 00:08:01,863 --> 00:08:02,877 Yeah. 222 00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:06,035 Robin was way more into this other guy. 223 00:08:06,455 --> 00:08:08,452 Can't seem to remember his name. 224 00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:09,777 Though sometimes a powdered jelly 225 00:08:09,808 --> 00:08:11,507 can help get the old noodle going. 226 00:08:13,517 --> 00:08:15,179 Ah... 227 00:08:15,706 --> 00:08:16,769 His name's... 228 00:08:16,805 --> 00:08:18,438 Simon Tremblay. 229 00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:19,782 I should have known. 230 00:08:19,815 --> 00:08:20,847 Eh. 231 00:08:21,005 --> 00:08:23,086 - Thanks for the free donuts. - They're just donuts! 232 00:08:23,239 --> 00:08:25,406 Okay? They're like two for a loonie... dollar. 233 00:08:25,433 --> 00:08:26,434 What's happening? 234 00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:29,432 Oh, somebody moosed down all the jellies. 235 00:08:29,986 --> 00:08:32,231 Have you been hanging out with Turk Grimsby? 236 00:08:33,528 --> 00:08:35,212 So how serious were you and Robin? 237 00:08:35,251 --> 00:08:38,009 Well, serious enough to pop the question. 238 00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,265 - Wow. Really? - Yeah, sure. 239 00:08:40,369 --> 00:08:41,775 Got down on one goalie pad, 240 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,249 I said, "Robin, 241 00:08:43,278 --> 00:08:46,279 could we keep dating but I get to stick it to other babes?" 242 00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:47,926 Turned me down. 243 00:08:47,947 --> 00:08:49,478 I'm so sorry. 244 00:08:49,609 --> 00:08:50,573 Oh, that's okay. 245 00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,384 I really wanted to stick it to Louise Marsh. 246 00:08:54,285 --> 00:08:57,991 Still, as the years pass, and you take stock of your life, 247 00:08:58,768 --> 00:09:02,002 part of me wishes I could've kept sticking it to Robin, too. 248 00:09:02,907 --> 00:09:04,992 So are you the one that Robin stalked? 249 00:09:05,025 --> 00:09:07,963 Oh, that story goes back to the 1996 Grey Cup. 250 00:09:08,043 --> 00:09:10,308 What in God's name is that? 251 00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:11,908 Only Canada's Super Bowl. 252 00:09:11,948 --> 00:09:12,981 Didn't you ever see 253 00:09:13,002 --> 00:09:14,451 Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes 254 00:09:14,477 --> 00:09:15,528 on MuchMusic? 255 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:17,038 Again, I have to go with: 256 00:09:17,062 --> 00:09:19,403 what in God's name is that? 257 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:22,322 It's only Canada's VH1 Behind the Music. 258 00:09:22,425 --> 00:09:24,297 There's one all about Robin Sparkles. 259 00:09:24,370 --> 00:09:27,505 Tells you the whole story from "A" to zed. 260 00:09:37,295 --> 00:09:40,054 Kids, relationships are built on trust. 261 00:09:40,197 --> 00:09:41,413 So unlike Uncle Barney, 262 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,152 I wasn't gonna keep digging and digging... 263 00:09:43,189 --> 00:09:44,489 Did you start a fire? 264 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:46,712 Ugh... 265 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,052 This is embarrassing. 266 00:09:49,079 --> 00:09:51,460 I wasn't gonna tell you this, but... 267 00:09:51,990 --> 00:09:53,243 I'd come so far, 268 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,804 only to be sent packing by that security guard, 269 00:09:55,831 --> 00:09:57,230 and... well... 270 00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:00,697 I'm sorry. 271 00:10:00,753 --> 00:10:02,347 I just couldn't stand the idea 272 00:10:02,366 --> 00:10:04,297 of not meeting you. 273 00:10:05,094 --> 00:10:06,013 Could not 274 00:10:06,030 --> 00:10:08,576 stand the idea 275 00:10:08,939 --> 00:10:10,164 of not meeting me. 276 00:10:10,182 --> 00:10:11,614 She set a fire, Ted! 277 00:10:11,766 --> 00:10:12,511 Dahmer. 278 00:10:12,536 --> 00:10:15,319 You're just jealous 'cause Lily never burned anything for you. 279 00:10:15,401 --> 00:10:16,882 Clearly you never tried her pot roast. 280 00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:20,575 I actually brought this for something totally different, 281 00:10:20,606 --> 00:10:21,770 but it worked out, right? 282 00:10:21,817 --> 00:10:23,320 Okay, anyway, here's my thing. 283 00:10:24,295 --> 00:10:25,489 Ladies and gentlemen, 284 00:10:25,536 --> 00:10:27,389 I have in my back pocket 285 00:10:27,446 --> 00:10:29,163 the answer to the question 286 00:10:29,189 --> 00:10:31,927 "Who was Robin obsessed with?" 287 00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:34,032 Hang on tight. 288 00:10:34,084 --> 00:10:36,601 It's Robin Sparkles 4, y'all! 289 00:10:48,663 --> 00:10:50,962 With her jelly bracelets, graffiti coat, 290 00:10:50,987 --> 00:10:52,686 and totally rad robot, no one 291 00:10:52,706 --> 00:10:56,658 symbolized the 1990s in Canada like Robin Sparkles. 292 00:10:56,798 --> 00:11:00,056 But as we'd all learn one heartbreaking Grey Cup Sunday, 293 00:11:00,112 --> 00:11:02,308 Canada's sweetheart had a dark side. 294 00:11:02,365 --> 00:11:04,114 I'll never forget that moment. 295 00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:06,598 A little piece of Canada died that day. 296 00:11:06,738 --> 00:11:09,582 To see her throw her life away like that... 297 00:11:10,505 --> 00:11:11,739 it was heartbreaking. 298 00:11:11,778 --> 00:11:13,860 I am so happy right now. 299 00:11:14,085 --> 00:11:16,595 I want to see her throw her life away so badly. 300 00:11:16,620 --> 00:11:19,443 - Yeah. - We're all terrible people... turn it up. 301 00:11:19,542 --> 00:11:20,953 Sparkles' hit records 302 00:11:20,978 --> 00:11:23,526 "Let's go to the Mall" and "Sandcastles in the Sand" 303 00:11:23,544 --> 00:11:27,129 both went maple with "Mall" eventually going double maple. 304 00:11:27,159 --> 00:11:30,748 I never admitted this till now, but before a big game, 305 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:33,049 I'd listen to "Sand Castles in the Sand" 306 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,830 and get a good cry on. 307 00:11:35,005 --> 00:11:36,418 I'm not ashamed. 308 00:11:36,586 --> 00:11:40,126 But after endless touring, Robin started to crack. 309 00:11:40,229 --> 00:11:42,637 Who doesn't love the mall? 310 00:11:43,095 --> 00:11:45,826 Shopping with your friends and... 311 00:11:47,469 --> 00:11:49,180 I can't do this. 312 00:11:50,507 --> 00:11:51,974 Get this out of my face, please. 313 00:11:52,083 --> 00:11:54,177 Thank you, pardon me, thanks, sorry. 314 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,416 Even when Canadians are mean, they're polite. 315 00:11:57,473 --> 00:12:00,429 Her record producer Chuck "Chuck" Gerusi. 316 00:12:00,454 --> 00:12:02,404 Robin Sparkles was big. 317 00:12:02,726 --> 00:12:05,984 Gino Vannelli big, who I discovered by the way. 318 00:12:06,233 --> 00:12:07,546 Robin's next song, 319 00:12:07,571 --> 00:12:09,857 "P.S. I Love You," was so dark 320 00:12:09,904 --> 00:12:12,059 Dominant Records refused to release it. 321 00:12:12,196 --> 00:12:15,397 Few have ever seen the long-lost music video, 322 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,705 but we found it. 323 00:12:19,163 --> 00:12:21,985 # You, you're beautiful 324 00:12:22,029 --> 00:12:24,413 # On your pedestal 325 00:12:24,572 --> 00:12:25,819 # I see you 326 00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:28,183 # You don't see me 327 00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:31,193 # Am I just too young 328 00:12:31,361 --> 00:12:33,498 # Or just too dumb 329 00:12:33,563 --> 00:12:37,656 # Or maybe just too grungy 330 00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:40,380 # And I'm wearing my flannel and I'm thinking of you # 331 00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,527 # I lace up my boots 332 00:12:41,544 --> 00:12:42,819 # And I'm thinking of you... 333 00:12:43,072 --> 00:12:46,192 This is the most 1990s music video of all time. 334 00:12:46,235 --> 00:12:48,488 All it needs is a shirtless old man 335 00:12:48,525 --> 00:12:50,342 in black and white for no reason. 336 00:12:53,026 --> 00:12:55,016 # I'll never move on, it'll always be you # 337 00:12:55,046 --> 00:12:57,304 # Every guy that I'm with, I'll be thinking of you # 338 00:12:57,329 --> 00:13:01,596 # If I get married, he'll always be second to you # 339 00:13:02,043 --> 00:13:05,869 - That's got to feel good. # I'll always be waiting for you # 340 00:13:07,475 --> 00:13:09,540 # P.S. I love you. 341 00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:13,573 In 1996, we booked the halftime show for the Grey Cup. 342 00:13:13,619 --> 00:13:14,986 Huge gig. 343 00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:17,620 We're talking Ivor Wynne Stadium in Hamilton, 344 00:13:17,819 --> 00:13:19,719 just outside of Guelph. 345 00:13:20,081 --> 00:13:22,091 It doesn't get any bigger than that. 346 00:13:22,129 --> 00:13:24,647 Hello, Canada. 347 00:13:24,922 --> 00:13:27,356 I'm Robin Sparkles. 348 00:13:27,965 --> 00:13:29,615 Oh. 349 00:13:31,346 --> 00:13:32,896 Actually... 350 00:13:33,486 --> 00:13:35,916 I was Robin Sparkles. 351 00:13:35,953 --> 00:13:37,987 The whole stadium went silent. 352 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:41,268 Right then, I knew something terrible was gonna happen. 353 00:13:41,896 --> 00:13:44,085 My stomach started churning. 354 00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:46,346 But Robin Sparkles is dead. 355 00:13:46,518 --> 00:13:50,082 All I could hear was Paul Shaffer's stomach growling. 356 00:13:50,134 --> 00:13:52,835 Stress goes to my stomach... sue me. 357 00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:54,398 It was kind of disgusting. 358 00:13:54,473 --> 00:13:56,102 I'm sorry, Jason Priestley, 359 00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:58,594 I didn't realize you were the Queen of England. 360 00:13:58,766 --> 00:14:01,239 My new name is... 361 00:14:02,533 --> 00:14:04,008 Robin Daggers! 362 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,574 Two, three, four! 363 00:14:05,649 --> 00:14:08,389 # You, you're beautiful 364 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:09,653 That day is now 365 00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:13,566 known in music history as the day grunge was born. 366 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,538 In 1996, in Canada? 367 00:14:15,569 --> 00:14:16,896 That seems right, Trebek. 368 00:14:16,927 --> 00:14:19,287 Give him a break, he's not a music guy. 369 00:14:19,308 --> 00:14:21,253 That day is now known in music history 370 00:14:21,284 --> 00:14:23,778 as the day that grunge was born. 371 00:14:23,811 --> 00:14:25,260 Well, that's a bummer. 372 00:14:26,736 --> 00:14:27,969 It was tragic. 373 00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:29,368 I mean, to this day, 374 00:14:29,527 --> 00:14:31,696 you ask any Canadian where they were 375 00:14:31,758 --> 00:14:34,619 when Robin Sparkles lost it, not only can they tell you 376 00:14:34,631 --> 00:14:38,372 which Tim Hortons they were in, but what donut they were eating. 377 00:14:38,546 --> 00:14:41,314 Me? Wawa, Ontario. 378 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:42,860 Blueberry fritter. 379 00:14:42,903 --> 00:14:44,819 Halifax, Nova Scotia. 380 00:14:44,970 --> 00:14:46,490 Walnut crunch. 381 00:14:46,623 --> 00:14:48,139 Victoriaville, Quebec. 382 00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:49,769 Sour cream plain. 383 00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:52,135 Sudbury, Ontario. 384 00:14:52,205 --> 00:14:53,336 Honey dip. 385 00:14:53,449 --> 00:14:55,315 Red Deer, Alberta. 386 00:14:55,429 --> 00:14:57,166 Chocolate glaze. 387 00:14:57,256 --> 00:14:59,437 Squamish, British Columbia. 388 00:14:59,595 --> 00:15:02,185 Crammed a Timbit into a strawberry vanilla 389 00:15:02,216 --> 00:15:04,076 and invented The Priestley. 390 00:15:04,288 --> 00:15:06,838 Should've been the best day of my life. 391 00:15:07,133 --> 00:15:09,637 It was horrifying on so many levels. 392 00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:13,322 Actually, you know what? 393 00:15:13,340 --> 00:15:15,477 I'm sorry, I can't... 394 00:15:15,557 --> 00:15:17,741 I just can't talk about this. 395 00:15:17,961 --> 00:15:20,214 I'm out of here, okay? I'm out of here. 396 00:15:20,238 --> 00:15:21,621 Here, excuse me. 397 00:15:21,649 --> 00:15:22,649 I'm sorry, will you take... 398 00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:24,218 No, no, don't move, I'm out... 399 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,273 Sorry, sorry. 400 00:15:25,298 --> 00:15:27,131 Speculation began immediately. 401 00:15:27,205 --> 00:15:29,237 Who was Robin Sparkles singing about 402 00:15:29,256 --> 00:15:31,673 with those angry, obsessive lyrics? 403 00:15:31,707 --> 00:15:33,158 Many names were suggested. 404 00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,439 It wasn't me. 405 00:15:34,482 --> 00:15:35,484 It wasn't me. 406 00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:36,624 Wasn't me. 407 00:15:36,659 --> 00:15:37,691 It wasn't me. 408 00:15:37,724 --> 00:15:38,706 It wasn't me. 409 00:15:38,826 --> 00:15:40,542 It wasn't me. 410 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:43,497 Why does everyone always think 411 00:15:43,701 --> 00:15:44,961 it's me? 412 00:15:45,099 --> 00:15:46,669 I wish it was me. 413 00:15:46,694 --> 00:15:49,202 But one name comes up more than any other. 414 00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:52,361 Alan Thicke. 415 00:15:52,523 --> 00:15:54,123 How can I help you? 416 00:15:54,632 --> 00:15:56,115 Donut? 417 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,573 Whoa! 418 00:16:04,807 --> 00:16:07,625 Whoa. What happened to you? 419 00:16:08,089 --> 00:16:11,502 We watched Robin Sparkles: Underneath the Tunes today. 420 00:16:11,587 --> 00:16:13,220 Wait, what? 421 00:16:13,378 --> 00:16:15,979 You guys get MuchMusic down here? 422 00:16:16,806 --> 00:16:19,783 And that video lead me to... 423 00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:22,985 I am engaged to Robin Scherbatsky, 424 00:16:23,026 --> 00:16:25,957 and I know that she wrote "P.S. I Love You" for you. 425 00:16:25,976 --> 00:16:28,377 Now-now, why is she so obsessed with you? 426 00:16:28,394 --> 00:16:30,832 What? That song's not about me. 427 00:16:30,850 --> 00:16:32,909 Then who is it "aboot"... about. 428 00:16:32,938 --> 00:16:34,204 Damn it. 429 00:16:34,238 --> 00:16:35,169 I don't know. 430 00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:36,838 I always thought it was Coulier. 431 00:16:36,923 --> 00:16:38,756 It wasn't me. 432 00:16:38,776 --> 00:16:40,114 Stop asking. 433 00:16:40,151 --> 00:16:42,318 Geez, cut it out. 434 00:16:42,350 --> 00:16:45,239 I always liked that joke. 435 00:16:46,133 --> 00:16:48,381 Alan Thicke kicked your ass. 436 00:16:49,014 --> 00:16:50,648 He lied, didn't he? 437 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:52,842 It was Alan Thicke! 438 00:16:52,906 --> 00:16:54,105 Wow. 439 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,957 It sounds like you've become a bit obsessed, huh, Barney? 440 00:16:56,976 --> 00:16:58,663 I am not obsessed. 441 00:16:58,762 --> 00:17:00,970 All I did was break into your apartment 442 00:17:00,995 --> 00:17:02,401 and read your teenage journals, 443 00:17:02,423 --> 00:17:06,209 and fly to Vancouver to interrogate your ex-boyfriends, 444 00:17:06,238 --> 00:17:10,475 and fight beloved Canadian actor Alan Thicke 445 00:17:10,514 --> 00:17:11,866 to a draw. 446 00:17:11,891 --> 00:17:14,603 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 447 00:17:14,848 --> 00:17:15,728 So, 448 00:17:15,747 --> 00:17:17,199 ready to admit it? 449 00:17:18,709 --> 00:17:21,003 Anyone can get obsessed. 450 00:17:21,197 --> 00:17:22,646 Thank you. 451 00:17:23,174 --> 00:17:25,406 And now, I am ready to tell you 452 00:17:25,431 --> 00:17:27,558 who "P.S. I Love You" is about. 453 00:17:27,572 --> 00:17:29,041 Who? 454 00:17:29,079 --> 00:17:30,763 "P.S". 455 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,000 Paul Shaffer. 456 00:17:33,046 --> 00:17:35,253 Paul Shaffer? 457 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,941 I know, so stereotypical. 458 00:17:39,035 --> 00:17:41,869 Every young Canadian girl fantasizes 459 00:17:41,889 --> 00:17:44,056 about being with Paul Shaffer. 460 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:48,479 At the Grey Cup gig, Paul was sitting in the front row. 461 00:17:48,504 --> 00:17:52,413 # I'll always be waiting for you # 462 00:17:52,431 --> 00:17:54,501 No wonder his stomach was growling. 463 00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:57,641 I feel bad that I scared Paul. 464 00:17:57,985 --> 00:18:00,719 He's amazing. 465 00:18:01,632 --> 00:18:03,239 But I have no regrets. 466 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:05,468 I was done being Robin Sparkles. 467 00:18:05,499 --> 00:18:06,448 You're not gonna go get 468 00:18:06,463 --> 00:18:09,080 beat up by Paul Shaffer now, are you? 469 00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,376 I can't believe it. 470 00:18:10,394 --> 00:18:12,385 I'm a total Dahmer. 471 00:18:12,642 --> 00:18:14,775 Yeah, but you're my Dahmer, 472 00:18:14,808 --> 00:18:16,436 which makes you a Dobler. 473 00:18:17,382 --> 00:18:18,985 Just like Jeanette. 474 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,355 No, Ted, 475 00:18:20,373 --> 00:18:23,664 what that woman did to run in to you was bonkers. 476 00:18:23,695 --> 00:18:25,401 That's just not how you start a healthy relationship. 477 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,714 Tell him, Lil. 478 00:18:26,977 --> 00:18:28,692 I can't stand it anymore. 479 00:18:28,717 --> 00:18:30,264 I've been living a lie. 480 00:18:30,352 --> 00:18:31,730 See? 481 00:18:32,628 --> 00:18:34,214 I saw you at orientation 482 00:18:34,244 --> 00:18:36,147 and I needed an excuse to meet you, 483 00:18:36,172 --> 00:18:36,935 so... 484 00:18:37,764 --> 00:18:38,595 Ah! 485 00:18:38,607 --> 00:18:40,326 I didn't know which room you were in, 486 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:43,696 so I had to create a little destiny. 487 00:18:56,228 --> 00:18:57,644 Okay. 488 00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:03,175 I'm sorry, I just 489 00:19:03,202 --> 00:19:06,220 couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you. 490 00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:08,529 Could... 491 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,546 not stand the idea 492 00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,351 of not meeting me. 493 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,069 I'm sorry, Ted. 494 00:19:19,278 --> 00:19:20,494 You were right. 495 00:19:20,528 --> 00:19:22,506 Jeanette's a Dobler. 496 00:19:22,666 --> 00:19:24,049 So are you. 497 00:19:24,151 --> 00:19:26,168 Thanks, buddy. 498 00:19:26,662 --> 00:19:28,118 You know, if you hadn't been reading 499 00:19:28,143 --> 00:19:29,712 the exact same book as me, 500 00:19:29,754 --> 00:19:31,185 we never would've met. 501 00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:32,676 I mean, that's destiny. 502 00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:34,743 Oh, look. 503 00:19:34,794 --> 00:19:36,961 You bought it in the same bookstore I did. 504 00:19:37,613 --> 00:19:39,367 On the same day. 505 00:19:39,522 --> 00:19:42,899 Within ten minutes of me buying mine. 506 00:19:43,527 --> 00:19:44,322 Ugh... 507 00:19:44,353 --> 00:19:46,537 Uh, this is embarrassing. 508 00:19:46,605 --> 00:19:51,080 I wasn't gonna tell you this, but I followed you to that bookstore. 509 00:19:51,266 --> 00:19:54,984 I just couldn't stand the idea of not meeting you. 510 00:19:55,472 --> 00:19:58,530 You followed me to the bookstore from where? 511 00:19:58,596 --> 00:20:00,339 How long have you been following me? 512 00:20:00,376 --> 00:20:02,989 Uh, this is embarrassing. 513 00:20:03,004 --> 00:20:05,922 Uh, remember when you were on the cover of New York Magazine? 514 00:20:06,674 --> 00:20:09,280 That was like a year and a half ago. 515 00:20:09,811 --> 00:20:11,159 Yeah. 516 00:20:11,791 --> 00:20:13,970 Before a man meets the woman he'll marry, 517 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:16,743 he'll make one final, horrible mistake. 518 00:20:16,768 --> 00:20:19,235 For me, that was Jeanette. 519 00:20:19,262 --> 00:20:22,413 # P.S. I Love You. 520 00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:28,147 # The law can't stop my love # 521 00:20:28,172 --> 00:20:30,656 # I'll fit you like a glove # 522 00:20:30,876 --> 00:20:34,384 # Restraining orders don't scare me # 523 00:20:34,428 --> 00:20:37,361 # The lawyers at the record company # 524 00:20:37,386 --> 00:20:40,008 # Made me promise to say 525 00:20:47,864 --> 00:20:50,101 # I'm totally a slacker and I don't even care # 526 00:20:50,126 --> 00:20:52,430 # With my curling 'zines and my faraway stare # 527 00:20:52,454 --> 00:20:56,293 # But deep down inside, yeah deep down inside I'm dying # 528 00:20:56,792 --> 00:20:59,243 # I'm trapped in a cage of the tears I cry # 529 00:20:59,268 --> 00:21:01,485 # I praying to God, but she doesn't reply # 530 00:21:01,578 --> 00:21:02,914 # Even the robot says 531 00:21:02,933 --> 00:21:03,898 Move on. 532 00:21:03,924 --> 00:21:05,779 # I'm trying! # 533 00:21:06,977 --> 00:21:09,278 # P.S. I love you.