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In the spring of 2013,
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Barney and Robin were just
weeks away from tying the knot.
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But there were still some pretty
big issues they hadn't agreed on.
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Adoption.
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I don't know.
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It's the only thing that makes sense.
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I can't... I can't
believe you're not open to it.
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Okay. Let's try it.
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Nope, it doesn't work with 27 down.
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Hey, with the wedding so
close, maybe we should talk about
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where we're going to live.
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Fine, enough. Stop begging.
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We'll live here. But you owe me.
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Yeah, I don't know...
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there's just a lot of things I
don't totally love about your apartment.
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Like what?
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Well, for example, why is
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your bed on what look
like train tracks?
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You were wonderful.
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Well, you don't get to be a
state-certified orgasmologist
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without learning how to please a woman.
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You don't mind if I spend
the night, do you?
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Um, how else are we gonna get to know
each other on a deeper level?
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Excuse me, I just have to log
tonight's orgasms with the licensing board.
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ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com
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The Ho-be-gone
Sleep System
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by Stinson, patent pending.
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What-what is on the other
side of the wall?
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Where do the hos go?
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What am I, a contractor?
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We-we need to go into this marriage
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with a fresh start.
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What do you say we find
a new place together?
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I love you.
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And if that will make you happy,
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then let's do it.
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Wow, so we need to find an
apartment where I haven't banged someone?
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How do you feel about Cleveland?
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Nope. Ted's mom.
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Nice job filling in for
Lily on Marvin's lullaby.
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Thanks, but I came
in early on the horsie.
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Stupid!
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No, you really
nailed all of Lily's parts.
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It's been three weeks since I have.
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I barely see her
anymore 'cause of this new job.
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Well, you know what might cheer you up?
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Hmm?
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There's a new
Woodworthy Manor on tonight.
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Woodworthy Manor
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was a show about an
upper class English estate
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at the beginning of the 20th century.
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My word! You can't possibly mean...
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But I do!
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With the succession of Lady
Eastbrooke to Viscountess of Marlyemead,
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our cousin Baldrick becomes...
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the Earl of Witherstead.
- The Earl of Witherstead!
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I only posted that
prediction 15 times on the forums!
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No, I can't.
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I promised Lily that I
would wait and watch it with her.
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Problem is, the Captain.
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Lily had just started a
job as the art consultant
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for an eccentric
billionaire, the Captain.
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Oh.
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Ahoy.
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There's a hot new artist in Red Hook.
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He's molded
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world currency into a
sculpture of a soulless plutocrat
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defecating on the poor.
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A scathing indictment of capitalism.
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I'll go as high as $200K
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as long as you think I can
flip it for double in six months.
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Aye, aye, Cap'n.
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Sorry.
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Ahoy.
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Here's this gorgeously
delicate impressionist still life,
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reminiscent of Monet's water lilies.
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Where is it?
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Rikers Island.
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The artist is serving two
consecutive life sentences
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for aggravated homicide.
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I'm willing to go as high
as six cartons of cigarettes
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and a jug of toilet wine.
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Is it a strain, feeling
like a single dad at times?
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Sure, but Lily's been
busting her butt at this new job.
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It's not like she's
been out there partying.
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Man, I'm 'faced.
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I ate a ton of caviar,
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but it soaked up none of the champagne.
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- Mondays, right?
- Yeah.
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When did you get glasses?
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Oh...
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you mean my glare reduction lunettes.
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Yeah. They help me discern genius
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from pretentious crap.
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Too bad you weren't wearing those
glasses when you bought those glasses.
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Well, listen, baby, I'm just
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happy to see you.
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And if you're not too tired,
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maybe we could watch Woodworthy
Manor tonight.
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I'd love to.
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Great! Because I've come
up with a fun little game.
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I made figgy pudding
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and I put it in shot glasses.
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And every time they say,
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"The dowager will be less than pleased,"
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you have to...
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Oh.
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Ugh...
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Ahoy.
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A seven-foot-tall cross-dressing
Cambodian
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is throwing glitter and fish
guts at a billboard on the B.Q.E.
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So he's some sort
of conceptual painter?
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No, no, just a crazy
person on the local news.
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I thought you might have a
laugh. You're off the clock, relax.
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I must own it.
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Aye, aye, Cap'n.
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Hey, did you find a
Realtor to sell this place yet?
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Robin, a Realtor's just gonna
give it to the highest bidder.
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I need this place to
go to someone worthy.
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And I've made some inquiries.
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Barney?
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My son.
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Barney, enough with
the floating Jor-El head
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from the Fortress of
Solitude in Superman, okay?
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It's getting old.
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I only use it to say really
important stuff.
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Last time you used it to tell me
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Wendy's had introduced a
spicy version of "The Baconator".
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Exactly.
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And now, my son...
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it is time for me to bestow on you...
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Can we just talk
face-to-face like normal people?
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Ted, just...
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just...
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okay?
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My son,
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it is time for me to bestow on you...
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Close the door.
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No. This is...
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Oh, my God, can you just be cool?
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Once? Please?
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Just once?
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Can you just once be cool?
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Once?
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Please?
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My son...
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for many years this apartment
has been my Fortress of Barnitude.
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But now the time has
come for me to pass it on.
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Soon, this place will become
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your "Fortress of Soli-Ted".
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Barney, I wouldn't live here even if
you scrubbed every inch of this place
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with Purell, amoxicillin and holy water.
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Fine.
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But I think we can both agree,
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it would be totally
awesome to see my deal
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floating around all
huge-like on the big Jor-El cam.
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Hold on.
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Now, it's a little
cold here in the Fortress,
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so don't judge the si...
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Ted, wait.
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What did you...
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That's... okay, that's not funny.
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Ted, open the...
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Uh... walls closing in.
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I can't... can't breathe.
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Must...
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show deal...
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on Jor-El cam...
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I can't...
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Oh, well, guess I'm keeping
this place forever, good night.
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Wait a... wait a minute, that's it?
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Ted wasn't interested in
buying your apartment,
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so you just gave up?
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Barney, I gave up my beautiful
two-bedroom apartment
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on the Upper West
Side that was rent-free
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and the landlord
hand-washed all my delicates.
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Which is probably why it was rent-free.
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The point is,
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I need to buy all new underwear,
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and you agreed that we
would find a new place together.
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Oh, God, Barney,
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relationships are
about trust and compromise.
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You can't just... Oh, you are so dead.
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00:07:47,007 --> 00:07:50,321
If I ever figure a way out of
here, I will make your life a living...
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00:07:51,658 --> 00:07:53,374
Lily and I really need this night out.
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A big fancy dinner and the ballet.
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Thank you so much for babysitting.
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Hey, three bucks an hour, thank you.
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Oh, hey, baby.
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Yeah, I'm just on my way
out. If you get there before...
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Come on, really?
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I'll see you later.
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Captain?
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00:08:14,466 --> 00:08:16,210
I'm sorry, dude. But, hey,
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look at it this way:
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now you don't have to go to the ballet.
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00:08:19,322 --> 00:08:21,506
Get your head out of your
ass, Ted. There was no ballet.
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00:08:21,537 --> 00:08:23,457
We were gonna sneak
into your apartment and bang.
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00:08:25,027 --> 00:08:28,253
Well, you know what might take
both our minds off that?
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A little...
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00:08:31,218 --> 00:08:33,035
Woodworthy Manor.
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No, I can't.
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00:08:35,593 --> 00:08:36,880
I promised Lily
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00:08:36,914 --> 00:08:38,158
that I would wait and watch it with her.
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And I feel like I'd be cheating on her.
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00:08:39,668 --> 00:08:41,660
Sure, sure, sure, sure, I get all that.
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00:08:41,678 --> 00:08:43,354
It's just...
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00:08:43,897 --> 00:08:46,521
You know, tonight
they're gonna finally reveal
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00:08:46,546 --> 00:08:48,679
who framed the chimney sweep
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00:08:49,005 --> 00:08:52,424
for stealing Lord
Stoutshire's gooseberries.
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00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:56,310
And reveal the winner of the
local gardening competition.
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00:08:57,464 --> 00:09:00,330
I don't know how they're going to
pack all that action into one episode.
213
00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:07,940
Oops.
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00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,244
No, Ted, you know
215
00:09:11,268 --> 00:09:13,447
- I promised Lily, I...
- Shh, shh, shh.
216
00:09:13,665 --> 00:09:15,375
Just let it happen.
217
00:09:15,968 --> 00:09:18,241
Later that week, Barney
came home to discover
218
00:09:18,259 --> 00:09:21,093
that Robin had a little
surprise waiting for him.
219
00:09:23,019 --> 00:09:24,662
Wha...?
220
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,217
- Mimosas?
- Mm-hmm.
221
00:09:28,476 --> 00:09:30,560
Freshly-baked cookie smell?
222
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:33,250
A middle-aged woman in a red blazer?
223
00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:35,341
I see what this is.
224
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,426
You finally green-lit my orgy idea!
225
00:09:39,047 --> 00:09:41,404
Okay. It's an open house, Barney.
226
00:09:41,950 --> 00:09:43,925
Say good-bye to your fortress.
227
00:09:44,813 --> 00:09:46,300
If we weren't about to have an orgy,
228
00:09:46,312 --> 00:09:48,409
I'd be so mad at you right now.
229
00:09:52,905 --> 00:09:56,187
If you'll follow me into the bedroom,
I'll show you some beautiful woodwork.
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00:09:56,514 --> 00:09:58,939
I am way too upset right
now to point out how many women
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00:09:58,945 --> 00:10:00,776
have seen some
beautiful woodwork in there.
232
00:10:00,882 --> 00:10:02,062
Angry self five!
233
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,079
Rah!
234
00:10:03,917 --> 00:10:05,602
Robin, I did not agree to this.
235
00:10:05,682 --> 00:10:06,742
Yes, you did.
236
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,722
That is why I gave up my apartment.
237
00:10:08,740 --> 00:10:11,524
Not so I could live in a
disease-riddled bang pad
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00:10:11,553 --> 00:10:13,657
haunted by the
ghosts of your ex-skanks.
239
00:10:14,625 --> 00:10:17,913
The bathrooms are Italian marble.
240
00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:22,048
Hello, old bean. Jolly
good evening, isn't it?
241
00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:23,393
What are you doing here?
242
00:10:23,418 --> 00:10:25,006
And why do you sound like Madonna?
243
00:10:25,049 --> 00:10:26,776
Uh, Robin asked us all
to come here and pretend
244
00:10:26,801 --> 00:10:29,590
that we are prospective
buyers who love this apartment.
245
00:10:29,676 --> 00:10:31,226
And inspired by a character
246
00:10:31,251 --> 00:10:33,382
on Woodworthy
Manor, I've decided to play
247
00:10:33,407 --> 00:10:35,341
Emsbry Postlethwaite,
248
00:10:35,395 --> 00:10:38,530
a handsome cricket player who
secretly hates his life.
249
00:10:38,853 --> 00:10:40,520
You don't have to be a cricket player.
250
00:10:40,553 --> 00:10:42,281
Tell that to Emsbry's father.
251
00:10:43,035 --> 00:10:44,325
Sorry!
252
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:45,434
Oh...
253
00:10:45,464 --> 00:10:48,123
I was checking out some mole
people's graffiti art
254
00:10:48,129 --> 00:10:49,982
and my cape got caught on the F train.
255
00:10:50,013 --> 00:10:51,012
Oh.
256
00:10:51,036 --> 00:10:52,285
Bisou bisou.
257
00:10:52,490 --> 00:10:55,394
Oh, what a cute baby.
258
00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:56,487
What's his name?
259
00:10:56,504 --> 00:10:57,412
Marvin.
260
00:10:57,436 --> 00:10:58,599
For my father.
261
00:10:58,787 --> 00:11:00,357
Oh, that's so sweet.
262
00:11:00,376 --> 00:11:02,820
Have you two been looking at a
lot of places in this neighborhood?
263
00:11:02,838 --> 00:11:06,468
- Oh, actually they're not...
- Yes, we have.
264
00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:07,734
What?
265
00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:11,972
My husband Emsbry and
I just love this area.
266
00:11:12,084 --> 00:11:14,701
I'm a cricket player
who secretly hates his life.
267
00:11:16,540 --> 00:11:17,565
What are you doing?
268
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:19,593
Well, you were late yet again,
269
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:21,620
and so I'm gonna do this little
scene study with Ted.
270
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:24,065
Why? Because he's there for me.
271
00:11:25,730 --> 00:11:27,740
Pretending you're married?
272
00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:30,098
That's going a little far to
prove your point, isn't it?
273
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,654
Excuse me, but I think it's
offensive to suggest
274
00:11:32,678 --> 00:11:35,629
the only reason gay people
get married is to prove a point.
275
00:11:36,392 --> 00:11:37,826
No, no, no, no, no.
276
00:11:37,847 --> 00:11:39,146
I didn't... that's not what I...
277
00:11:39,158 --> 00:11:40,890
Thank you, sister... somebody needs
278
00:11:40,902 --> 00:11:43,576
to get this lady's
mind a rearview mirror
279
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:46,946
because she is thinking
in reverse. - Mm-hmm.
280
00:11:49,641 --> 00:11:51,355
Hate is a four-letter word.
281
00:11:51,373 --> 00:11:53,584
I didn't... I voted for...
282
00:11:56,928 --> 00:11:59,021
Oh, is this part of a security system?
283
00:11:59,039 --> 00:11:59,840
Sort of.
284
00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:01,826
It's connected to the
welcome mat. You see...
285
00:12:02,163 --> 00:12:04,006
Let's say the young
lady you're bringing home
286
00:12:04,018 --> 00:12:05,475
is dressed for winter.
287
00:12:05,543 --> 00:12:08,905
Under those layers, an
unwelcome surprise could await you.
288
00:12:09,167 --> 00:12:10,933
The scale with body fat calculator
289
00:12:10,957 --> 00:12:12,321
I've hidden under the welcome mat
290
00:12:12,334 --> 00:12:14,794
makes sure you never
have banger's remorse.
291
00:12:15,023 --> 00:12:16,769
The Heavy Set Go
292
00:12:16,942 --> 00:12:18,685
by Stinson, patent pending.
293
00:12:18,717 --> 00:12:21,460
'Cause there's only one kind
of chubby you want in the bedroom.
294
00:12:21,478 --> 00:12:22,927
Am I right, people?
295
00:12:22,937 --> 00:12:25,230
This guy knows what I'm talking about.
296
00:12:26,444 --> 00:12:29,807
I don't want to tell
you and Emsbry how to raise
297
00:12:29,825 --> 00:12:32,765
your child, but I think if
you keep letting him nap,
298
00:12:32,784 --> 00:12:33,968
he's gonna be up all night.
299
00:12:34,011 --> 00:12:36,095
Funny, you sound like someone who's been
300
00:12:36,114 --> 00:12:37,906
around for his bedtime lately.
301
00:12:37,947 --> 00:12:40,267
Uh, can somebody get
this lady a storefront
302
00:12:40,286 --> 00:12:43,306
'cause she needs to mind
her own business, mm-kay?
303
00:12:44,368 --> 00:12:45,718
Would you stop it?
304
00:12:45,730 --> 00:12:48,371
Oh, right, right, because it's a choice.
305
00:12:49,984 --> 00:12:51,351
You know what's not a choice?
306
00:12:51,376 --> 00:12:53,216
Being gay for this kitchen.
307
00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:56,083
That came out wrong... the point is,
308
00:12:56,107 --> 00:12:58,358
let's focus on this awesome apartment.
309
00:12:58,399 --> 00:12:59,865
You're right.
310
00:12:59,898 --> 00:13:03,206
Look at that fabulous plasma television.
311
00:13:03,387 --> 00:13:06,395
My ex-husband, who
never supported my career,
312
00:13:06,513 --> 00:13:10,331
would love to watch the
Vikings never win a Super Bowl
313
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:12,436
in franchise history on that thing.
314
00:13:12,481 --> 00:13:14,731
- How dare you.
- Don't let her push your buttons.
315
00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:16,981
Right.
316
00:13:18,388 --> 00:13:20,416
I don't care about football.
317
00:13:21,163 --> 00:13:22,637
I'm more of a...
318
00:13:22,823 --> 00:13:24,438
Woodworthy Manor fan.
319
00:13:25,548 --> 00:13:27,606
I very much enjoyed
watching it the other night.
320
00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:30,801
- With Emsbry.
- Oh, you didn't.
321
00:13:30,818 --> 00:13:32,368
Yeah, oh, yeah.
322
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,158
I know who deliberately overwatered Lady
Chillsbury's prize-winning roses.
323
00:13:36,239 --> 00:13:39,051
They have been building to
that reveal all season,
324
00:13:39,076 --> 00:13:40,289
Marshall, don't you tell me...
325
00:13:40,313 --> 00:13:42,591
It was Parson Smallsby.
326
00:13:45,745 --> 00:13:48,280
Wow, great view.
327
00:13:48,292 --> 00:13:49,533
And customizable.
328
00:13:49,614 --> 00:13:51,739
Let's say you
promised a girl a surprise trip
329
00:13:51,758 --> 00:13:53,525
to the most romantic place on Earth.
330
00:13:54,241 --> 00:13:56,128
No peeking.
331
00:13:56,146 --> 00:13:58,574
Wow, we must've gone far.
332
00:13:58,592 --> 00:14:01,859
We were on your private
jet for, like, six hours.
333
00:14:02,252 --> 00:14:03,034
Well,
334
00:14:03,046 --> 00:14:04,872
You definitely
weren't on a bus to Delaware
335
00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:07,095
and back wearing
earplugs, I'll tell you that much.
336
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,424
And I think you'll
agree it was worth the wait
337
00:14:09,442 --> 00:14:11,037
once you see the view.
338
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,219
Et voila ma chérie.
339
00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:17,846
Oh, my God.
340
00:14:18,593 --> 00:14:20,457
You flew me to Vegas?
341
00:14:20,544 --> 00:14:22,799
It's... it's Par...
342
00:14:22,812 --> 00:14:24,574
Well, hey, whatever works, whatever...
343
00:14:24,861 --> 00:14:26,944
The Room With a Screw
344
00:14:26,975 --> 00:14:28,761
by Stinson, patent pending.
345
00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:30,270
I know what you're trying to do.
346
00:14:30,289 --> 00:14:31,509
You're trying to drive people away.
347
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:32,626
No, I'm not... I'm just trying
348
00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:34,712
to show off all of its
one-of-a-kind features.
349
00:14:34,737 --> 00:14:37,437
See, see, there's also... Venice.
350
00:14:38,476 --> 00:14:40,294
Niagara Falls,
351
00:14:41,059 --> 00:14:42,940
African safari.
352
00:14:44,085 --> 00:14:45,655
Oh... and my favorite...
353
00:14:48,837 --> 00:14:49,926
Huh?
354
00:14:50,151 --> 00:14:51,970
Nothing gets a girl
to go from "on the fence"
355
00:14:51,994 --> 00:14:53,690
to "on all fours" faster than thinking
356
00:14:53,715 --> 00:14:56,984
everyone she's ever held
dear is a glowing pile of ash.
357
00:14:57,220 --> 00:14:59,187
Mushroom cloud five.
358
00:15:04,261 --> 00:15:06,170
I love you accent.
359
00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:07,308
Thank you.
360
00:15:07,324 --> 00:15:08,629
I practiced it all morning.
361
00:15:09,786 --> 00:15:11,645
- You are adorable.
- Well...
362
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,861
That Marshall's a lucky man.
363
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:15,980
Well, aren't you ducky?
364
00:15:16,025 --> 00:15:17,925
Seriously if you were straight,
365
00:15:17,996 --> 00:15:20,163
I'd be all over you.
366
00:15:20,948 --> 00:15:22,215
Huh.
367
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:24,589
What's this?
368
00:15:24,602 --> 00:15:25,583
Oh, God.
369
00:15:25,606 --> 00:15:27,406
Only the best thing ever.
370
00:15:27,888 --> 00:15:30,150
Let's say you had a
wonderful night with a girl, but now
371
00:15:30,169 --> 00:15:33,653
she's turning into a
bit of a morning-after pill.
372
00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:43,830
See? We need to extend the chute
373
00:15:43,848 --> 00:15:45,497
and add a landing spot.
374
00:15:45,763 --> 00:15:48,569
And you said testing it
with a dummy was a waste of time.
375
00:15:48,852 --> 00:15:51,993
No, I said "dressing the
dummy" was a waste of time.
376
00:15:52,325 --> 00:15:54,108
The Escape From Bitch Mountain
377
00:15:54,423 --> 00:15:55,951
by Stinson, patent pending.
- Okay.
378
00:15:55,963 --> 00:15:58,308
He's kidding, it's just,
you know, in case of fire.
379
00:15:58,326 --> 00:16:00,519
No, but I'm glad you mentioned fire.
380
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:02,499
See those smoke detectors?
381
00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:05,584
Say these words.
382
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:08,907
"I'm looking for a deeper commitment".
383
00:16:10,642 --> 00:16:14,088
It's also triggered by "I'm
too tired," "Let's snuggle,"
384
00:16:14,113 --> 00:16:15,446
and "I'm a week late".
385
00:16:15,629 --> 00:16:17,245
Barney, I'm getting wet.
386
00:16:17,573 --> 00:16:19,355
And that turns it off.
387
00:16:20,278 --> 00:16:22,096
Look, just stop talking.
388
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:23,799
We've made up our minds.
389
00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:25,715
Oh, well, thanks for taking a look.
390
00:16:25,733 --> 00:16:26,816
I'll walk you out.
391
00:16:26,845 --> 00:16:28,134
We'll take it.
392
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,387
If you never get a black
light, you'll be so happy here.
393
00:16:31,411 --> 00:16:32,932
Yes, yes!
394
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:33,950
Yes, yes.
395
00:16:38,734 --> 00:16:40,570
Trouble in paradise?
396
00:16:47,329 --> 00:16:49,831
We have a child together.
397
00:16:56,132 --> 00:16:59,115
I can't believe you watched
Woodworthy Manor without me.
398
00:16:59,142 --> 00:17:01,684
I can't believe that you're mad at me.
399
00:17:01,711 --> 00:17:04,953
I've been abandoned by my
wife and my gay companion.
400
00:17:04,971 --> 00:17:07,173
If I get blinded in one
eye by a badminton shuttlecock,
401
00:17:07,191 --> 00:17:08,689
you might as well call
me Lord Esterbrooke.
402
00:17:09,558 --> 00:17:10,845
You watched the new one without me?
403
00:17:10,874 --> 00:17:13,497
Betrayal stings, doesn't it, Emsbry?
404
00:17:14,917 --> 00:17:15,862
Hey.
405
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,040
- Hey.
- Listen.
406
00:17:17,059 --> 00:17:18,342
- I...
- No, me first.
407
00:17:18,774 --> 00:17:19,946
I've been thinking
408
00:17:19,958 --> 00:17:21,424
and I realized something.
409
00:17:22,170 --> 00:17:25,845
The Fortress of Solitude is where
Superman went to be alone.
410
00:17:26,495 --> 00:17:28,846
And I never want to be alone again.
411
00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:30,950
Thank you, Barney, that really...
412
00:17:30,981 --> 00:17:33,031
But then I remembered in Superman II,
413
00:17:33,061 --> 00:17:36,088
Superman gave up all his
powers to be with Lois Lane,
414
00:17:36,094 --> 00:17:38,783
and he was honestly
kind of a vag after that.
415
00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:40,734
- Oh, buddy, just quit while...
- Now, Superman III was
416
00:17:40,746 --> 00:17:42,058
a complete train wreck totally.
417
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,132
What's your point?
418
00:17:43,146 --> 00:17:44,145
That...
419
00:17:44,466 --> 00:17:45,769
that I love you.
420
00:17:45,844 --> 00:17:47,200
And...
421
00:17:47,779 --> 00:17:49,965
I'm giving up my apartment for you.
422
00:17:50,613 --> 00:17:54,672
And that the Superman films are uneven.
423
00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:58,462
I really appreciate that, Barney, but...
424
00:17:59,635 --> 00:18:02,843
Congrats. You guys are
getting a fantastic apartment.
425
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:05,836
I mean, I know some of the
features are a little weird.
426
00:18:06,513 --> 00:18:07,671
A little?
427
00:18:08,189 --> 00:18:10,347
We're gonna rip this
thing down to the studs.
428
00:18:11,047 --> 00:18:12,206
I get it.
429
00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:15,117
But, I mean, some
things might be worth saving.
430
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:17,518
- I don't see any.
- No.
431
00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:19,790
You don't see any?
432
00:18:20,191 --> 00:18:21,695
Sure some of the stuff in here
433
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,202
is creepy, but it's also brilliant.
434
00:18:24,349 --> 00:18:27,135
I mean, a lot of
geniuses were kind of pervy.
435
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:29,206
Look at Thomas
Edison... why do you think
436
00:18:29,219 --> 00:18:30,769
that lightbulbs are boob-shaped?
437
00:18:30,969 --> 00:18:33,525
Yeah, we're taking a
wrecking ball to this place
438
00:18:33,537 --> 00:18:36,652
and turning it into
something actually fit for humans.
439
00:18:39,014 --> 00:18:40,473
Excuse me.
440
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:48,368
Get out!
441
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:51,588
The Fortress of
Barnitude is no longer for sale.
442
00:18:51,616 --> 00:18:54,142
Also your husband has
been staring at my ass
443
00:18:54,161 --> 00:18:57,177
all afternoon so don't
act all high-and-mighty.
444
00:18:58,148 --> 00:18:59,976
- You turned them down?
- Yeah.
445
00:19:00,393 --> 00:19:03,604
If I ask you to change too
many things about yourself,
446
00:19:03,803 --> 00:19:06,442
you're not gonna be the
man I fell in love with.
447
00:19:06,806 --> 00:19:11,181
Turns out, I accept and
appreciate even the grossest, creepiest,
448
00:19:11,206 --> 00:19:13,457
most sociopathic parts of you.
449
00:19:15,096 --> 00:19:18,100
Sounds like
somebody just wrote her vows.
450
00:19:19,669 --> 00:19:20,804
Mm.
451
00:19:22,553 --> 00:19:24,161
It's the Captain.
452
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:25,975
Ahoy.
453
00:19:25,981 --> 00:19:28,016
There's a zebra at the Central Park Zoo
454
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,421
who's got quite a keen
hoof at photography.
455
00:19:30,477 --> 00:19:32,375
Ironically, he's
great with color. Now...
456
00:19:32,387 --> 00:19:35,605
Captain, I'll check
it out, just not tonight.
457
00:19:35,874 --> 00:19:38,442
I need to spend some
time with my husband.
458
00:19:39,823 --> 00:19:40,974
You sure?
459
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:44,033
I know it's been
tough, me working this much,
460
00:19:44,564 --> 00:19:46,260
and I guess I went a little overboard
461
00:19:46,278 --> 00:19:47,681
with the whole artsy thing.
462
00:19:47,697 --> 00:19:48,964
I know.
463
00:19:49,247 --> 00:19:50,888
- The cape.
- What about my cape?
464
00:19:50,925 --> 00:19:52,289
I love it.
465
00:19:52,393 --> 00:19:54,079
And I... I know that you love this job.
466
00:19:54,098 --> 00:19:55,824
I should be more
supportive... I just miss you.
467
00:19:55,842 --> 00:19:57,725
I miss you, too.
468
00:19:58,302 --> 00:19:59,158
Hey, guys.
469
00:19:59,189 --> 00:20:00,816
- Hey.
- Hey.
470
00:20:01,709 --> 00:20:03,760
You guys are all so lucky.
471
00:20:03,993 --> 00:20:06,288
When am I gonna find something real?
472
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:07,672
Well, Emsbry,
473
00:20:07,698 --> 00:20:09,749
ready to see what it's
like to be with a woman?
474
00:20:10,714 --> 00:20:13,537
I suppose there's a
first time for everything.
475
00:20:14,734 --> 00:20:16,768
- Go ahead.
- My son.
476
00:20:18,812 --> 00:20:19,811
Okay.
477
00:20:20,138 --> 00:20:21,952
Yeah, all right.
478
00:20:26,622 --> 00:20:29,777
Are you guys sure we're gonna like
this Woodworthy Manor show?
479
00:20:29,832 --> 00:20:31,373
Yeah, it sounds kind of boring.
480
00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:34,222
Kind of boring?
481
00:20:34,257 --> 00:20:36,190
Grab a seat guys, but trust me,
482
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:38,050
you're only gonna need the edge.
483
00:20:38,883 --> 00:20:40,535
Ah-ha, all right, now,
484
00:20:40,547 --> 00:20:41,997
a little backstory.
485
00:20:42,031 --> 00:20:45,859
Lady Stoutshire has developed
a serious case of croquet ankle
486
00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:49,397
and the cook Mrs.
Bootbrush can't find enough chestnuts
487
00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:51,638
for a proper St. Crispin's Day goose.
488
00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:53,084
Let's watch.
489
00:21:04,918 --> 00:21:07,065
- I love you.
- My wrist is broken.
490
00:21:07,138 --> 00:21:09,413
- Worth it.
- Ow.