1 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:03,830 Kids, in April of 2013, 2 00:00:03,855 --> 00:00:05,586 your mother and I were very close 3 00:00:05,703 --> 00:00:07,319 and yet very far apart. 4 00:00:07,634 --> 00:00:09,860 I was living on West 82nd Street. 5 00:00:09,873 --> 00:00:12,335 She was up on West 115th. 6 00:00:12,399 --> 00:00:14,377 She was getting a degree in economics. 7 00:00:14,435 --> 00:00:16,302 I was teaching architecture. 8 00:00:16,340 --> 00:00:17,983 I was always at MacLaren's. 9 00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:19,360 She was always... 10 00:00:19,412 --> 00:00:21,495 not spending all her time in a bar. 11 00:00:21,616 --> 00:00:24,640 She was dating some finance guy named Louis. 12 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,352 And I... 13 00:00:26,644 --> 00:00:28,497 I was alone. 14 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:34,508 Ted, get ready to be surrounded by half-naked, grease-covered bodies. 15 00:00:34,553 --> 00:00:36,766 And by grease, I mean motor grease. 16 00:00:36,802 --> 00:00:40,130 We're going to Robots vs. Wrestlers! 17 00:00:40,734 --> 00:00:43,032 Kids, you remember Robots vs. Wrestlers. 18 00:00:43,057 --> 00:00:45,718 Forget everything you remember about Robots vs. Wrestlers. 19 00:00:45,742 --> 00:00:49,190 This is Robots vs. Wrestlers: "Legends". 20 00:00:49,206 --> 00:00:52,416 Elderly wrestlers fighting old-timey robots 21 00:00:52,446 --> 00:00:54,557 in a wheelchair-accessible wrestling ring. 22 00:00:54,803 --> 00:00:56,574 Why are we still sitting here? 23 00:00:56,793 --> 00:00:58,132 I got a big lecture tomorrow. 24 00:00:58,150 --> 00:00:59,638 Think I'm gonna take it easy tonight. 25 00:00:59,724 --> 00:01:02,098 Ted, trust me, 20 years from now, 26 00:01:02,176 --> 00:01:05,254 you'll be glad you saw Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends. 27 00:01:05,312 --> 00:01:08,013 I can't imagine a world where that's possible. 28 00:01:08,049 --> 00:01:09,095 I'm serious. 29 00:01:09,113 --> 00:01:10,307 20 years from now, 30 00:01:10,351 --> 00:01:12,808 when my 26-year-old third wife asks me about this... 31 00:01:12,821 --> 00:01:14,429 - You make a lot of those jokes. - I'm gonna say, 32 00:01:14,454 --> 00:01:17,488 "Yeah, it was awesome, but you know the funny thing? 33 00:01:17,534 --> 00:01:18,840 - Ted almost didn't go". - Hmm. 34 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:22,240 "But thank God he did, because it was a great night". 35 00:01:22,318 --> 00:01:24,309 And then she and I will adjourn to the Jacuzzi, 36 00:01:24,321 --> 00:01:26,352 where my fourth wife will be waiting for us, 37 00:01:26,373 --> 00:01:27,951 already warming herself up on the jets. 38 00:01:27,970 --> 00:01:29,691 Oh, Robin's here... I'll tell you the rest later. 39 00:01:29,721 --> 00:01:31,346 Please do, that story could go anywhere. 40 00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:32,209 Mwah. 41 00:01:32,227 --> 00:01:34,429 - Hey, hello. - Hey. 42 00:01:34,578 --> 00:01:36,276 Here we are at the bar once more. 43 00:01:36,816 --> 00:01:38,317 "What will I have to drink?" you ask. 44 00:01:38,335 --> 00:01:39,336 Hmm. 45 00:01:39,405 --> 00:01:40,613 Minnesota Tidal Wave. 46 00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:42,069 "What's that?" you ask. 47 00:01:42,091 --> 00:01:45,193 Only the best cocktail ever. "Who invented it?" you ask. 48 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,205 Me. 49 00:01:46,255 --> 00:01:48,539 And it's not a girly drink. 50 00:01:48,570 --> 00:01:50,045 Lily, why would you even say that? 51 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:51,401 Girly drink. 52 00:01:51,429 --> 00:01:53,811 Hey, I am the least girly girl on Earth, 53 00:01:53,829 --> 00:01:55,661 and I love the Minnesota Tidal Wave. 54 00:01:55,738 --> 00:01:57,286 Thank you, Robin. 55 00:01:57,324 --> 00:02:00,429 Matter of fact, I'm going to go order one right now with my head held high. 56 00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:01,509 Lily. 57 00:02:01,973 --> 00:02:04,898 - Lily. Yes, please, thank you, baby. - You want me to order it for you? 58 00:02:07,517 --> 00:02:10,544 - Ted, let me tell you the secret to life. - Hmm. 59 00:02:10,569 --> 00:02:12,658 Every time I make a decision about what to do 60 00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:15,281 on a given night, I ask myself, 61 00:02:15,599 --> 00:02:18,858 "What would make the best memory 20 years from now?" 62 00:02:18,881 --> 00:02:21,990 So I let 20-Years-From-Now- Barney call the shots. 63 00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:23,433 And it always works out. 64 00:02:23,481 --> 00:02:25,615 And 20-Years-From-Now-Barney 65 00:02:25,642 --> 00:02:28,025 thinks we should go to Robots vs. Wrestlers? 66 00:02:28,071 --> 00:02:29,684 I don't know. Let's ask him. 67 00:02:29,882 --> 00:02:31,064 Close your eyes, Ted. 68 00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:34,643 Okay, now open them. 69 00:02:34,675 --> 00:02:37,086 Barney, I swear to God, if I open my eyes and your bare ass 70 00:02:37,105 --> 00:02:38,552 is an inch away from my face again... 71 00:02:38,581 --> 00:02:41,065 Just open your eyes. 72 00:02:44,745 --> 00:02:47,160 Ted, I'd like you to meet 20-Years-From-Now-Barney. 73 00:02:47,185 --> 00:02:48,891 20-Years-From-Now-Barney, you remember Ted. 74 00:02:48,916 --> 00:02:50,316 'Sup? 75 00:02:50,340 --> 00:02:58,340 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 76 00:03:03,886 --> 00:03:05,916 Hey, Ted. What's this I hear-slash-remember 77 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:08,396 about you not wanting to see Robots vs. Wrestlers? 78 00:03:08,539 --> 00:03:11,305 Yeah, it's just that I don't want to see it. 79 00:03:11,405 --> 00:03:12,881 - You don't... - I know. 80 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,325 - He doesn't... - I know. 81 00:03:16,231 --> 00:03:19,326 Ted, trust us, it's gonna be legend... 82 00:03:19,363 --> 00:03:21,218 wait 20 years for it... 83 00:03:21,439 --> 00:03:22,762 dary! 84 00:03:22,815 --> 00:03:24,568 - Legendary! - Legendary! 85 00:03:24,592 --> 00:03:25,993 Okay... I'm gonna go home. 86 00:03:26,018 --> 00:03:27,130 - No, Ted, look. - Come on! 87 00:03:27,162 --> 00:03:29,340 If you don't believe that Robots vs. Wrestlers 88 00:03:29,352 --> 00:03:31,065 is gonna be a life-changing event, 89 00:03:31,131 --> 00:03:34,933 maybe you'll believe 20-Years-From-Now-Ted. 90 00:03:36,754 --> 00:03:38,173 - Whoa. - 'Sup? 91 00:03:38,235 --> 00:03:39,201 Wow. 92 00:03:39,372 --> 00:03:41,539 Wow, so many things all at once. 93 00:03:41,585 --> 00:03:43,084 But most importantly... 94 00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:44,708 I don't go bald? 95 00:03:44,739 --> 00:03:45,896 Nope. 96 00:03:45,982 --> 00:03:47,361 And neither do I. 97 00:03:47,385 --> 00:03:48,534 Eeh... 98 00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:50,926 Ted, listen to me. 99 00:03:51,126 --> 00:03:53,570 You, listen to you. 100 00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:54,982 Me. 101 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,552 You got to go to Robots vs. Wrestlers: Legends. 102 00:03:57,592 --> 00:03:59,582 Trust me, you will regret it if you don't. 103 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,348 So, what, do I go bald or something? 104 00:04:01,383 --> 00:04:02,650 Is that a toupee? 105 00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,294 - Ted, scalp check! - Can't Robin do this? 106 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:07,551 Come on, you've been doing it for years. You know the frame of reference. 107 00:04:07,567 --> 00:04:08,867 Scalp check! 108 00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:11,744 Hmm, that's odd. 109 00:04:11,769 --> 00:04:14,206 Little early in the week for scalp check. 110 00:04:14,272 --> 00:04:16,526 Five tablespoons of sugar, 111 00:04:16,613 --> 00:04:18,429 a whisper of vanilla vodka 112 00:04:18,454 --> 00:04:19,560 and you're done. 113 00:04:19,584 --> 00:04:20,877 Maraschino cherries. 114 00:04:20,908 --> 00:04:23,652 Oh, and a handful of maraschino cherries on top. 115 00:04:23,728 --> 00:04:25,374 Wait, you're ordering a Robin Scherbatsky. 116 00:04:25,405 --> 00:04:26,687 Why didn't you just say that? 117 00:04:28,415 --> 00:04:29,963 One second there, barkeep. 118 00:04:30,006 --> 00:04:31,167 Unless I'm mistaken, 119 00:04:31,192 --> 00:04:35,073 the drink this lady just ordered is called the Minnesota Tidal Wave. 120 00:04:35,503 --> 00:04:36,909 Origin unknown. 121 00:04:36,934 --> 00:04:39,510 Oh, well, you know, Robin's been ordering them so much lately 122 00:04:39,535 --> 00:04:40,885 that we named it after her. 123 00:04:40,965 --> 00:04:42,679 You named a drink after me? 124 00:04:42,779 --> 00:04:44,297 Right there in the menu. 125 00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:45,846 Congrats. 126 00:04:52,691 --> 00:04:54,060 I can't drink this. 127 00:04:55,486 --> 00:04:56,127 That's better. 128 00:04:56,158 --> 00:04:58,727 I'm still seething, but that's better. 129 00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:01,668 Okay, 20-Years-From-Now-Me, 130 00:05:01,699 --> 00:05:03,113 level with me. 131 00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,552 You. Us. 132 00:05:05,736 --> 00:05:07,907 Is Robots vs. Wrestlers worth it? 133 00:05:07,939 --> 00:05:10,490 It was the single greatest night of my life. 134 00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:11,951 Even greater than your wedding? 135 00:05:11,963 --> 00:05:13,947 Well, I mean, when I get married, 136 00:05:13,972 --> 00:05:15,760 that'll be the greatest night of my life. 137 00:05:15,984 --> 00:05:17,460 But who knows when that's going to happen? 138 00:05:17,486 --> 00:05:19,275 Oh, my God, you still haven't... 139 00:05:19,326 --> 00:05:20,847 Man, I hope I meet her soon. 140 00:05:20,892 --> 00:05:22,829 Oh, God, what is wrong with me? 141 00:05:22,867 --> 00:05:24,177 I'm sorry! 142 00:05:24,206 --> 00:05:25,983 I'm just messing with you! 143 00:05:26,010 --> 00:05:28,210 Now, come on, are we going or what? 144 00:05:28,644 --> 00:05:30,074 Fine, let's go. 145 00:05:30,105 --> 00:05:31,171 Yeah! 146 00:05:31,191 --> 00:05:32,943 Not so fast. 147 00:05:33,496 --> 00:05:36,047 Barney, Ted, 20-Years-From-Now-Barney, 148 00:05:36,084 --> 00:05:37,147 20-Years-From-Now-Ted. 149 00:05:37,178 --> 00:05:38,224 Who are you? 150 00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:40,689 I'm 20-Hours-From-Now-Ted. 151 00:05:40,875 --> 00:05:43,254 And you bastards aren't going anywhere. 152 00:05:48,519 --> 00:05:50,913 So, you're the Ted from 20 hours from now? 153 00:05:50,938 --> 00:05:51,969 Shh. 154 00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:54,586 Just... shh. 155 00:05:54,724 --> 00:05:55,479 You okay? 156 00:05:55,517 --> 00:05:57,504 No, I'm not okay. 157 00:05:57,580 --> 00:06:00,112 This dummy's about to go to Robots vs. Wrestlers... 158 00:06:00,130 --> 00:06:01,800 and yes, it'll be awesome... 159 00:06:01,811 --> 00:06:02,944 See? 160 00:06:03,167 --> 00:06:04,444 at first. 161 00:06:04,607 --> 00:06:06,624 But then you're gonna drink way too much, 162 00:06:06,643 --> 00:06:07,718 hence the headache. 163 00:06:07,730 --> 00:06:11,214 Then you're gonna jump into the ring and sprain your wrist, hence the splint. 164 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:13,945 And then afterwards, you're gonna smoke half a pack of cigarettes, hence the... 165 00:06:15,195 --> 00:06:17,329 Well, that's the sound a good time. 166 00:06:17,362 --> 00:06:20,113 And 20 hours from now, when you're me, 167 00:06:20,137 --> 00:06:23,707 you're gonna want to come back here, right to this very spot, right now, 168 00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,497 and smack yourself upside the head. 169 00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:28,331 Yeah, but obviously I wouldn't do that 'cause I'd only be smacking myself... 170 00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:29,598 Ow! 171 00:06:30,245 --> 00:06:32,589 Don't do this to me, Ted. Don't do this to us. 172 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,755 Don't listen to yourself, Present-Day-Ted. 173 00:06:34,796 --> 00:06:37,913 It's a day of pain for a lifetime of memories. 174 00:06:38,072 --> 00:06:39,527 20-Hours-From-Now-Me, 175 00:06:39,552 --> 00:06:41,235 just tell me one thing: 176 00:06:41,710 --> 00:06:43,215 do I hurl? 177 00:06:43,546 --> 00:06:45,022 Yeah, kid. 178 00:06:45,216 --> 00:06:46,348 You hurl. 179 00:06:46,831 --> 00:06:47,980 A lot? 180 00:06:48,138 --> 00:06:49,406 Remember when Mom 181 00:06:49,425 --> 00:06:51,294 bought the beef from the Price Club? 182 00:06:52,423 --> 00:06:54,081 Okay, how about this: 183 00:06:54,105 --> 00:06:56,586 we go to Robots vs. Wrestlers, 184 00:06:56,789 --> 00:06:58,906 but I don't drink too much? 185 00:06:58,931 --> 00:07:00,362 Interesting. 186 00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:02,509 - I'm good with that. - No, forget it. 187 00:07:02,533 --> 00:07:03,896 If Ted doesn't get wasted, 188 00:07:03,914 --> 00:07:05,452 there's no way he'll end up making out 189 00:07:05,464 --> 00:07:08,196 with that surprisingly realistic-looking female robot. 190 00:07:08,239 --> 00:07:09,981 Wait, I kiss a female robot? 191 00:07:10,006 --> 00:07:11,707 Oh, you do a lot more than that. 192 00:07:11,738 --> 00:07:14,784 Now, look, nobody is saying you need alcohol 193 00:07:14,815 --> 00:07:16,217 to have an exciting and memorable night. 194 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:19,025 - Absolutely not. - Absolutely not. 195 00:07:19,056 --> 00:07:21,367 But in this case, yeah, you kind of have to be wasted. 196 00:07:23,757 --> 00:07:25,400 You drink beers in cans still. 197 00:07:25,418 --> 00:07:27,261 It makes the robot scarier. 198 00:07:28,051 --> 00:07:29,747 They named my drink after her. 199 00:07:29,902 --> 00:07:31,122 The Minnesota Tidal Wave. 200 00:07:31,147 --> 00:07:32,034 It's my usual. 201 00:07:32,059 --> 00:07:33,222 Immaterial! 202 00:07:33,254 --> 00:07:34,952 If it's gonna be named after anybody, 203 00:07:34,965 --> 00:07:36,585 it should be called The Marshall Eriksen. 204 00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:38,938 Sorry, it's The Robin Scherbatsky. 205 00:07:38,963 --> 00:07:40,157 Read it and weep. 206 00:07:40,373 --> 00:07:42,040 Oh, so you're gonna Zuckerberg me? 207 00:07:42,084 --> 00:07:43,016 That it? 208 00:07:43,044 --> 00:07:44,223 You're Zuckerberging me? 209 00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:45,216 That's fine. 210 00:07:45,278 --> 00:07:46,473 I'll see you in court. 211 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,437 Little court known as the dance floor. 212 00:07:48,449 --> 00:07:49,420 Dance-off. Now. 213 00:07:49,445 --> 00:07:50,909 No, no dancing. 214 00:07:50,934 --> 00:07:52,692 Marshall, we've been through this. 215 00:07:52,751 --> 00:07:55,148 The doctor said your dancer's hip is worse than ever. 216 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:56,818 You have to lay off dancing for a while. 217 00:07:56,842 --> 00:07:58,417 You're killing me, Lily! 218 00:07:58,693 --> 00:08:00,306 You're killing me! 219 00:08:00,749 --> 00:08:01,512 I'm an adult. 220 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,223 You have to let me dance my own battles. 221 00:08:03,259 --> 00:08:05,175 Marshall, there's not gonna be a dance-off 222 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,698 because the name is staying. 223 00:08:06,722 --> 00:08:08,410 Period, end of story. 224 00:08:08,887 --> 00:08:11,823 I just like having my name on something. 225 00:08:12,537 --> 00:08:13,579 Oh, you do? 226 00:08:13,604 --> 00:08:15,051 Oh, that's great, Robin. 227 00:08:15,347 --> 00:08:17,213 Then that's what you will get. 228 00:08:17,617 --> 00:08:18,924 That's... 229 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,208 what you... 230 00:08:21,587 --> 00:08:23,276 will get. 231 00:08:25,351 --> 00:08:27,646 Mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm. 232 00:08:27,877 --> 00:08:29,421 Oh, hey, Robin. 233 00:08:29,515 --> 00:08:31,689 You here "for a good time"? 234 00:08:32,168 --> 00:08:33,372 Classic. 235 00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:35,105 Did you write my number in the men's room? 236 00:08:35,129 --> 00:08:37,241 It... Well, I don't know. 237 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,996 I guess you'll never know unless you go in there, which I highly doubt that... 238 00:08:40,021 --> 00:08:41,515 There she goes. 239 00:08:41,985 --> 00:08:42,983 Okay, boys. 240 00:08:43,002 --> 00:08:46,079 Close your eyes and zip your flies. 241 00:08:51,712 --> 00:08:53,577 Hi. Don't mind me. 242 00:08:56,586 --> 00:08:58,545 I don't think you should have done that. 243 00:08:58,566 --> 00:09:00,454 Lily, I know what I'm doing, all right? 244 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:01,264 I'm a lawyer. 245 00:09:01,289 --> 00:09:03,186 I've thought about every possible scenario. 246 00:09:03,211 --> 00:09:04,817 I'm ten steps ahead of... 247 00:09:08,050 --> 00:09:09,044 Where's she going? 248 00:09:09,062 --> 00:09:10,268 Probably into the ladies' room 249 00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:12,135 to write something on the wall about you. 250 00:09:12,505 --> 00:09:14,766 Nobody writes things on the walls of the ladies' room. 251 00:09:14,791 --> 00:09:16,275 Have you been in the ladies' room? 252 00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:17,827 Of course not. 253 00:09:17,945 --> 00:09:20,578 Lily, I know that I have the sexual charisma of a bad boy, 254 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,187 but I certainly don't have the manners of one. 255 00:09:25,552 --> 00:09:26,893 What'd you write in there? 256 00:09:27,051 --> 00:09:28,650 Why don't you go in and look? 257 00:09:28,681 --> 00:09:30,735 You know I can't do that, Robin. 258 00:09:31,065 --> 00:09:31,984 Lily, can you go look? 259 00:09:32,021 --> 00:09:35,095 Oh, I thought you wanted to dance your own battles. 260 00:09:36,858 --> 00:09:38,913 Ladies, put your blouses back on! 261 00:09:38,932 --> 00:09:40,586 I'm coming in! 262 00:09:46,718 --> 00:09:47,886 Dear Marshall, 263 00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:50,347 I know this is a strange way to apologize, 264 00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:53,363 but I'm sorry I let Carl name your drink after me. 265 00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:55,256 Why didn't I say something? 266 00:09:55,570 --> 00:09:58,223 Gosh, I guess that goes back to my childhood. 267 00:09:59,241 --> 00:10:00,558 Okay, guys. 268 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,099 Let's go to Robots vs. Wrestlers. 269 00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:04,554 - Huzzah! - Now you're talking! 270 00:10:04,579 --> 00:10:06,277 - Here we go. - Nope, sit down. 271 00:10:06,302 --> 00:10:07,697 Everybody sit down. 272 00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:08,991 Okay, who are you? 273 00:10:09,021 --> 00:10:12,091 Hello, Ted, Barney, 20-Hours-From-Now-Ted, 274 00:10:12,123 --> 00:10:14,143 20-Years-From-Now-Ted, 20-Years-From-Now-Barney. 275 00:10:14,191 --> 00:10:15,691 Hey, how's it going? 276 00:10:15,899 --> 00:10:17,626 Allow me to introduce myself. 277 00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:19,875 I'm 20-Minutes-From-Now-Barney, 278 00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:21,751 and I have got something very important to... 279 00:10:22,527 --> 00:10:24,422 What's the stain on your shirt, bro? 280 00:10:24,447 --> 00:10:27,231 Please, please, I really do have something very important to... 281 00:10:28,243 --> 00:10:29,963 You look stupid. 282 00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:31,633 Here's your spaghetti. 283 00:10:31,658 --> 00:10:33,413 And be careful... 284 00:10:35,059 --> 00:10:36,760 with the meatball. 285 00:10:39,134 --> 00:10:41,209 And that's the only time my father 286 00:10:41,227 --> 00:10:43,222 ever said he was proud of me. 287 00:10:43,464 --> 00:10:45,817 Maybe that's why I stole credit for your drink. 288 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:49,402 Maybe that's why I needed to pour my heart out like this. 289 00:10:49,623 --> 00:10:52,746 Or, maybe I wrote this so you'd be in here long enough 290 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:54,712 for a lady to walk in, causing you to freak out 291 00:10:54,749 --> 00:10:56,025 and hide in the stall. 292 00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:59,040 - So, you got a text message? - Yeah. 293 00:11:02,218 --> 00:11:03,231 Whoa. 294 00:11:03,255 --> 00:11:05,646 Try to get some in your mouth next time. 295 00:11:07,194 --> 00:11:08,496 Okay, everybody, listen up. 296 00:11:08,521 --> 00:11:09,665 When I walked in here, 297 00:11:09,690 --> 00:11:10,984 I was 20-Minutes- From-Now-Barney. 298 00:11:11,028 --> 00:11:14,142 But that was 19 minutes and some serious acid reflux... 299 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,863 who orders spaghetti at an Irish bar?... ago. 300 00:11:17,471 --> 00:11:19,295 Now, I'm 20-Seconds- From-Now-Barney, 301 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,678 and I'm telling you, watch that door. 302 00:11:21,842 --> 00:11:22,674 Why? 303 00:11:22,701 --> 00:11:25,063 That's why. 304 00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,132 Um, oh. 305 00:11:29,151 --> 00:11:31,030 In-in, like, 12 seconds. 306 00:11:34,459 --> 00:11:35,809 Your skin looks great. 307 00:11:35,852 --> 00:11:36,928 Thanks. 308 00:11:36,986 --> 00:11:39,143 And thank you for taking such good care of it. 309 00:11:39,162 --> 00:11:40,143 Shh. 310 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,749 That's why. 311 00:11:52,427 --> 00:11:53,366 Who is that? 312 00:11:53,391 --> 00:11:54,666 She's the coat check girl 313 00:11:54,691 --> 00:11:57,064 from that dance club we went to seven years ago. 314 00:11:57,243 --> 00:11:58,466 You remember that night. 315 00:11:58,497 --> 00:12:00,111 When Barney grinded with his cousin. 316 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,449 Oh, man, you remember that 20 years from now? 317 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,535 He won't let anyone forget. 318 00:12:05,018 --> 00:12:06,924 Coat check girl. 319 00:12:07,108 --> 00:12:10,611 I always meant to go back to that club and get her number, but I didn't. 320 00:12:10,993 --> 00:12:12,376 And now she's here? 321 00:12:12,388 --> 00:12:15,590 She's in this bar seven years later? 322 00:12:15,809 --> 00:12:17,692 I can't believe this. 323 00:12:17,919 --> 00:12:19,854 So, wait, do you guys think I should go talk to her? 324 00:12:19,878 --> 00:12:21,269 - Are you kidding me? - Yes, go... 325 00:12:21,306 --> 00:12:23,136 - How many different ways... - Idiot. 326 00:12:23,319 --> 00:12:25,304 Hello? 327 00:12:26,536 --> 00:12:28,875 Is anybody out there? 328 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,901 Sounds like the coast is clear. 329 00:12:38,852 --> 00:12:40,720 No, no, wait! Please, it's not my fault! 330 00:12:40,745 --> 00:12:41,858 I was tricked! 331 00:12:42,106 --> 00:12:43,438 Not cool, Marshall. 332 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:44,658 This is a nice bar. 333 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:47,139 Girls come here, they just want to relax with their friends, 334 00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:49,480 maybe have a few Robin Scherbatskys, 335 00:12:49,538 --> 00:12:51,106 and not have to worry out some guy 336 00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,463 pulling a Marshall Eriksen in the bathroom. 337 00:12:53,487 --> 00:12:55,786 No, no, no, I know. I just... 338 00:12:57,019 --> 00:13:00,529 Wait a minute, did you just use my name 339 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,749 as shorthand for a guy being creepy? 340 00:13:02,826 --> 00:13:03,736 Yep. 341 00:13:03,767 --> 00:13:05,601 Well, you know what, Carl? 342 00:13:05,645 --> 00:13:07,204 I think that you are making 343 00:13:07,230 --> 00:13:09,023 a broad and prejudicial assumption. 344 00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:11,257 So next time I meet a guy who just goes around 345 00:13:11,275 --> 00:13:15,799 rushing to judgment, I'm gonna say, "Hey, that guy's being a real Carl..." 346 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:20,412 You don't know my last name. 347 00:13:20,436 --> 00:13:22,195 You've been drinking here for years, 348 00:13:22,213 --> 00:13:23,982 and you don't know my last name. 349 00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:27,048 I will name every drink in this bar after you 350 00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,050 if you can tell me my last name. 351 00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,481 Well, that just seems confusing. 352 00:13:30,504 --> 00:13:32,658 How will you know what people are ordering? 353 00:13:32,781 --> 00:13:34,479 What's my last name, Marshall? 354 00:13:35,561 --> 00:13:37,153 It's Carl... 355 00:13:42,178 --> 00:13:43,679 's Junior. 356 00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:46,067 Okay, wish me luck, everyone. 357 00:13:46,092 --> 00:13:49,047 Break a leg... 358 00:13:57,474 --> 00:13:59,126 What the hell? 359 00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:02,296 Do not talk to her. 360 00:14:02,321 --> 00:14:03,713 What-what... Who are you? 361 00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:06,390 We are 20-Months-From-Now- Coat-Check-Girl. 362 00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:07,514 But there's two of you. 363 00:14:07,538 --> 00:14:09,647 Right, because if you go over there and you talk to her, 364 00:14:09,666 --> 00:14:11,672 20 months from now, it's gonna end in one of two ways. 365 00:14:11,696 --> 00:14:13,775 Either you are gonna get sick of me. 366 00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:15,068 I made you muffins 367 00:14:15,093 --> 00:14:17,620 because of your nickname: Muffin. 368 00:14:18,211 --> 00:14:18,998 Or... 369 00:14:19,023 --> 00:14:21,540 I am gonna get sick of you and your stupid habits. 370 00:14:21,558 --> 00:14:23,846 Stop DVR-ing the news. You're never gonna catch up. 371 00:14:23,861 --> 00:14:25,062 Oh, stop it, 372 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,848 you're scaring him off. 373 00:14:26,872 --> 00:14:29,066 - By the way, I'm pregnant. - No, she's not. 374 00:14:29,089 --> 00:14:30,227 Okay, no, I'm not, 375 00:14:30,246 --> 00:14:32,529 but that made you happy for a second, right? 376 00:14:32,646 --> 00:14:34,252 - Please shut up. - Okay, wait, 377 00:14:34,276 --> 00:14:37,499 so you're saying it's doomed completely? 378 00:14:37,530 --> 00:14:40,086 One of us is just guaranteed to get sick of the other 379 00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:41,769 and call it quits? 380 00:14:41,836 --> 00:14:43,839 You've been dating for a long time, Ted. 381 00:14:43,894 --> 00:14:46,324 Has it ever gone any other way? 382 00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:09,620 Look at this one. 383 00:15:09,827 --> 00:15:11,179 Thank you so much. 384 00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:13,435 - Hey. - Hey, you look kind of down. 385 00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:16,426 Have a Robin Scherbatsky, on me. 386 00:15:16,807 --> 00:15:19,339 None of this would have happened if Lily had let me dance. 387 00:15:21,432 --> 00:15:22,897 Baby, wait. 388 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,865 God, you're still clinging to that? 389 00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,540 Marshall, it doesn't matter, 390 00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:28,859 'cause you'd lose anyway, and you know why? 391 00:15:28,883 --> 00:15:30,779 'Cause I'm Sparkles, bitch. 392 00:15:30,811 --> 00:15:32,978 Oh, and you think you can step to me? 393 00:15:33,049 --> 00:15:35,016 You think you can step up to the streets? 394 00:15:35,205 --> 00:15:36,220 To me? 395 00:15:36,243 --> 00:15:39,287 You think you can step up over me to the streets? 396 00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:42,727 - I guess we'll never know because you are not allowed... - Wait, wait. 397 00:15:43,685 --> 00:15:45,440 That's my jam. 398 00:15:46,926 --> 00:15:48,420 Who's playing my jam? 399 00:15:48,932 --> 00:15:50,765 # Like you carry dairy there # Carry dairy there # 400 00:15:50,790 --> 00:15:52,987 # Heinie heinie heinie ho # Heinie heinie heinie ho # 401 00:15:53,006 --> 00:15:54,934 # Work your derriere # Work your derriere # 402 00:15:55,266 --> 00:15:56,098 Dance-off. 403 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,830 You're on. 404 00:15:59,007 --> 00:16:00,095 # Work that booty 405 00:16:00,097 --> 00:16:01,313 # Work that booty, work that booty # 406 00:16:01,340 --> 00:16:02,506 # Work that booty 407 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,336 # You got that pretty brown round # 408 00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:06,581 # Want both hands all on them chocolate mounds # 409 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,109 # Give you my Almond Joy... 410 00:16:08,128 --> 00:16:09,234 Oh. 411 00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:11,044 I think I'm gonna head home. 412 00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:12,372 I understand. 413 00:16:12,462 --> 00:16:14,382 What, you're not gonna try and stop me? 414 00:16:14,437 --> 00:16:16,526 And how would I try and stop you? 415 00:16:16,574 --> 00:16:19,672 I don't know, by telling me life is short, 416 00:16:19,697 --> 00:16:21,689 and if you ever come across a beautiful, 417 00:16:21,713 --> 00:16:23,402 exciting, crazy moment in it, 418 00:16:23,414 --> 00:16:25,265 you got to seize it while you can 419 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:26,746 before that moment's gone? 420 00:16:26,841 --> 00:16:30,226 Ted, this moment already is gone. 421 00:16:31,045 --> 00:16:34,346 The whole Minnesota Tidal Wave thing happened five years ago. 422 00:16:34,398 --> 00:16:35,781 It's just a memory. 423 00:16:36,244 --> 00:16:37,290 And the rest of this 424 00:16:37,308 --> 00:16:38,760 never happened. 425 00:16:39,056 --> 00:16:40,967 Right now, Marshall and Lily are upstairs, 426 00:16:40,986 --> 00:16:42,894 trying to get Marvin to go back to sleep. 427 00:16:42,946 --> 00:16:45,323 Robin and I are trying to decide on a caterer. 428 00:16:45,496 --> 00:16:48,310 And you've been sitting here all night, staring at a single ticket 429 00:16:48,334 --> 00:16:49,868 to Robots vs. Wrestlers 430 00:16:49,901 --> 00:16:51,797 because the rest of us couldn't come out. 431 00:16:52,848 --> 00:16:54,573 Look around, Ted. 432 00:16:55,032 --> 00:16:56,652 You're all alone. 433 00:17:04,552 --> 00:17:06,574 Kids, it's been almost 20 years 434 00:17:06,598 --> 00:17:09,210 since that cold April night in 2013, 435 00:17:09,770 --> 00:17:11,199 and I can safely tell you, 436 00:17:11,223 --> 00:17:14,852 if I could go back in time and relive that night, 437 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:18,838 there's no way in hell I'd go to Robots vs. Wrestlers. 438 00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:24,046 No, I'd go home. 439 00:17:25,217 --> 00:17:26,810 I'd go to my old apartment, 440 00:17:26,834 --> 00:17:29,457 see all my old furniture, my old stuff. 441 00:17:30,093 --> 00:17:31,761 I'd see my old drafting table, 442 00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:34,076 where I sketched out my first building. 443 00:17:34,278 --> 00:17:35,690 I'd sit on that old couch 444 00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:38,979 and smell the Indian food cooking three stories below. 445 00:17:39,737 --> 00:17:41,790 I'd go to Lily and Marshall's place, 446 00:17:41,890 --> 00:17:45,029 be back in that old living room where so many things happened. 447 00:17:45,387 --> 00:17:46,836 I'd see the baby. 448 00:17:46,864 --> 00:17:48,328 I don't know if you can picture me holding 449 00:17:48,353 --> 00:17:51,156 your six-foot-seven cousin Marvin over my head, 450 00:17:51,423 --> 00:17:53,266 but back then I could. 451 00:17:53,486 --> 00:17:55,580 I'd go have a drink with Barney and Robin, 452 00:17:55,621 --> 00:17:57,241 watch them fight about their caterer 453 00:17:57,272 --> 00:18:00,021 or whatever it was they were fighting about that night. 454 00:18:00,504 --> 00:18:03,444 But none of those things is the thing I'd do first. 455 00:18:04,021 --> 00:18:06,363 You know the thing I'd do first? 456 00:18:33,101 --> 00:18:34,481 Hi. 457 00:18:35,787 --> 00:18:37,770 I'm Ted Mosby. 458 00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:41,859 And exactly 45 days from now, 459 00:18:42,911 --> 00:18:44,893 you and I are gonna meet, 460 00:18:45,961 --> 00:18:47,972 and we're gonna fall in love, 461 00:18:49,098 --> 00:18:51,061 and we're gonna get married, and... 462 00:18:52,584 --> 00:18:54,910 we're gonna have two kids. 463 00:18:55,506 --> 00:18:58,660 And we're gonna love them and each other so much. 464 00:19:00,948 --> 00:19:03,177 All that is 45 days away. 465 00:19:06,992 --> 00:19:09,221 But I'm here now, 466 00:19:10,324 --> 00:19:12,307 I guess, because... 467 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,046 I want those extra 45 days... 468 00:19:17,671 --> 00:19:20,541 with you. I want each one of them. 469 00:19:22,741 --> 00:19:23,958 Look, and if I can't have them, 470 00:19:23,976 --> 00:19:26,114 I'll take the 45 seconds before your boyfriend shows up 471 00:19:26,126 --> 00:19:28,114 and punches me in the face, 472 00:19:29,533 --> 00:19:31,496 because... 473 00:19:33,022 --> 00:19:34,504 I love you. 474 00:19:34,624 --> 00:19:37,675 I'm always gonna love you, 475 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,735 till the end of my days 476 00:19:40,666 --> 00:19:42,666 and beyond. 477 00:19:43,388 --> 00:19:44,733 You'll see. 478 00:19:47,579 --> 00:19:49,023 Can I help you? 479 00:19:49,128 --> 00:19:51,451 Oh, hey, it's... Louis, right? 480 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,451 It's okay. 481 00:19:52,473 --> 00:19:53,755 It's fine... 482 00:19:53,851 --> 00:19:57,187 I'm in love with your girlfriend, and... we're gonna get married. 483 00:19:58,028 --> 00:19:59,809 - What? - Yeah. 484 00:20:24,109 --> 00:20:26,845 Okay, guys, I've been waiting 20 years for this. 485 00:20:26,869 --> 00:20:28,107 Just like we practiced. 486 00:20:28,131 --> 00:20:29,599 No mistakes, ready? 487 00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:32,466 One, two, a - one, two, three, four. 488 00:20:32,569 --> 00:20:36,002 Whoa-oh-oh-oh 489 00:20:36,026 --> 00:20:36,949 # For the longest 490 00:20:36,972 --> 00:20:39,776 # For the longest time 491 00:20:39,814 --> 00:20:41,731 Whoa-oh-oh 492 00:20:41,743 --> 00:20:42,694 # For the longest 493 00:20:42,705 --> 00:20:44,299 # For the longest time 494 00:20:44,317 --> 00:20:48,969 # If you said good-bye to me tonight # 495 00:20:48,994 --> 00:20:49,911 Ooh-ooh-ooh 496 00:20:49,936 --> 00:20:52,047 # There would still 497 00:20:52,071 --> 00:20:54,889 # Be music left to write 498 00:20:54,895 --> 00:20:55,927 Doo-doo-doo 499 00:20:55,971 --> 00:21:01,607 # What else could I do? I'm so inspired by you # 500 00:21:01,632 --> 00:21:06,946 # That hasn't happened for the longest time. #