1 00:00:01,448 --> 00:00:03,713 Kids, by the spring of 2013, 2 00:00:03,735 --> 00:00:05,979 Lily and Marshall had life figured out, 3 00:00:06,126 --> 00:00:09,407 Lily was making a name as the art consultant for The Captain, 4 00:00:09,684 --> 00:00:12,418 Marshall was a superstar environmental lawyer 5 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,630 and home life was a well-oiled machine. 6 00:00:15,884 --> 00:00:16,916 And then... 7 00:00:17,146 --> 00:00:18,405 something changed. 8 00:00:19,574 --> 00:00:21,863 Captain, you wanted to see me? 9 00:00:22,319 --> 00:00:24,019 Captain? Hello? 10 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,200 Permission to come aboard? 11 00:00:26,218 --> 00:00:27,754 Granted. 12 00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:31,067 Lily, small order of business: 13 00:00:31,117 --> 00:00:33,423 I'm moving to Rome and I'd like you to come with me. 14 00:00:33,462 --> 00:00:34,290 Carry on. 15 00:00:34,308 --> 00:00:37,267 What? That-That-That's amazing, 16 00:00:37,292 --> 00:00:39,848 but I don't know if I can just uproot my life. 17 00:00:39,889 --> 00:00:42,064 It's only for a year. Carry on. 18 00:00:42,095 --> 00:00:44,212 But I'm married and we have a baby 19 00:00:44,255 --> 00:00:47,212 and they just opened a Shake Shack on our block and there's never a line! 20 00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:50,317 I understand it's a big decision. Take all the time you need. 21 00:00:50,358 --> 00:00:51,843 Just let me know by the end of the day. 22 00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:55,484 Also, I need your advice on purchasing some luggage. 23 00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:57,473 - What kind? - Carry on. 24 00:00:57,497 --> 00:01:05,497 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 25 00:01:11,295 --> 00:01:13,004 Well, this has been fun. I should go. 26 00:01:13,037 --> 00:01:14,837 But you literally just got here. 27 00:01:14,870 --> 00:01:16,490 I didn't "literally" just get here. 28 00:01:16,508 --> 00:01:18,090 I hate when people misuse that word. 29 00:01:18,117 --> 00:01:20,782 So do I. But you literally just got here. 30 00:01:21,508 --> 00:01:22,927 Hey, Ted. 31 00:01:23,412 --> 00:01:25,580 Well, this has been fun. I should go. 32 00:01:25,630 --> 00:01:27,769 Okay, fine, now I'm leaving. 33 00:01:27,819 --> 00:01:29,700 Why do people go to a bar, anyway? 34 00:01:29,725 --> 00:01:32,391 To get your drink on and some girl's pants off. 35 00:01:32,413 --> 00:01:34,246 I can do both at home. 36 00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:37,046 What are you looking at? 37 00:01:37,173 --> 00:01:38,681 The girl in the big coat? 38 00:01:38,729 --> 00:01:40,998 We were in the same yoga class together. 39 00:01:41,099 --> 00:01:43,416 You know how sometimes you'll meet a girl and there'll be that 40 00:01:43,441 --> 00:01:46,211 one bewitching little detail that'll make you 41 00:01:46,379 --> 00:01:47,827 fall in love with her instantly? 42 00:01:47,845 --> 00:01:50,002 You know, a little freckle on the nose, 43 00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:51,351 the-the lilt of her laugh, 44 00:01:51,383 --> 00:01:53,417 the way she pronounces a certain word or phrase? 45 00:01:53,435 --> 00:01:54,613 Sure, totally. 46 00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:57,162 Well, in this girl's case, 47 00:01:57,239 --> 00:01:59,676 the bewitching little detail is the fact 48 00:01:59,727 --> 00:02:03,031 that she has just a "redonkulous" body. 49 00:02:03,306 --> 00:02:05,250 - Redonkulous? - Redonkulous! 50 00:02:05,351 --> 00:02:08,042 I've only heard you use "redonkulous" to describe 51 00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:10,017 Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. 52 00:02:10,049 --> 00:02:11,268 Barney, 53 00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:13,098 this girl has 54 00:02:13,116 --> 00:02:16,232 the Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol of bodies. 55 00:02:16,256 --> 00:02:17,785 Whoa. 56 00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:20,547 Just wait till she takes that coat off. 57 00:02:20,803 --> 00:02:23,358 Oh, wait, sorry, you were just about to leave, right? 58 00:02:23,701 --> 00:02:25,668 I mean, I've already paid for this drink. 59 00:02:25,692 --> 00:02:29,838 Guys, The Captain just made me a very interesting offer. 60 00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:32,131 Finally, we get around to the real reason he hired you. 61 00:02:32,143 --> 00:02:34,750 Just promise you film it, and please use a tripod. 62 00:02:34,781 --> 00:02:36,481 There's nothing artistic about shaky-cam. 63 00:02:36,506 --> 00:02:37,693 It just looks sloppy. 64 00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:41,418 He wants me to move to Rome for a year to buy art for him. 65 00:02:41,436 --> 00:02:42,610 Whoa! Seriously? 66 00:02:42,635 --> 00:02:44,551 - Is that something you want to do? - Are you kidding? 67 00:02:44,569 --> 00:02:46,746 I've always wanted to live abroad! 68 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:50,401 My summer in Paris, back in college, was so enlightening: 69 00:02:50,429 --> 00:02:53,273 the art, the history, the free cheese 70 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:55,122 just for wearing a low-cut top. 71 00:02:55,380 --> 00:02:57,205 Well, how does Marshall feel about moving? 72 00:02:57,238 --> 00:02:58,560 I haven't told him yet. 73 00:02:58,572 --> 00:03:00,451 He really loves his job here. 74 00:03:00,477 --> 00:03:02,404 Yeah, but he also loves Italy! 75 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,780 He took a week of Italian in college, 76 00:03:04,805 --> 00:03:07,505 and the only reason he dropped it was 'cause he had a conflict... 77 00:03:07,530 --> 00:03:09,455 with being not stoned. 78 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,209 But he still knows how to say the phrase, 79 00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:15,404 "Come on, bro, don't Bogart all the Funyuns". 80 00:03:15,479 --> 00:03:17,430 All right, I'm gonna call him. 81 00:03:19,829 --> 00:03:20,892 Hey, baby. 82 00:03:20,904 --> 00:03:22,487 Hey, baby, I can't talk right now. 83 00:03:22,511 --> 00:03:24,571 I'm working on a big case. Bye. 84 00:03:24,631 --> 00:03:26,018 And that's when Lily realized 85 00:03:26,045 --> 00:03:27,893 what moving to Rome would really mean. 86 00:03:56,021 --> 00:03:57,406 And before you know it... 87 00:03:57,418 --> 00:03:59,040 his life turns into an angsty, 88 00:03:59,065 --> 00:04:00,953 existential black-and-white Italian movie. 89 00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:02,472 Exactly. 90 00:04:17,011 --> 00:04:18,941 I used to be a lawyer. 91 00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:24,602 I don't know anymore. 92 00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:40,077 I'm sorry. I got to hit pause for a second. 93 00:04:40,096 --> 00:04:41,733 Why is it so hot in here? 94 00:04:41,751 --> 00:04:44,440 Oh, right. While you were blabbering on and on 95 00:04:44,465 --> 00:04:45,953 about your whole life crisis or whatever, 96 00:04:45,971 --> 00:04:48,230 I slipped Carl a hundred to turn the heat up in here. 97 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,147 What? Why? 98 00:04:49,166 --> 00:04:53,458 Because she is still in the big puffy coat! 99 00:04:54,038 --> 00:04:56,422 - Barney, what are you doing? - I'm trying her out of that coat, 100 00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,723 that's what I'm doing! I'm fighting hotness with hotness! 101 00:04:58,735 --> 00:05:00,414 You're engaged. 102 00:05:00,545 --> 00:05:02,668 Okay, Lily, clearly you're forgetting something. 103 00:05:02,696 --> 00:05:05,347 Yes, I'm engaged to the coolest girl on Earth. 104 00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:07,435 This is about looking, not touching. 105 00:05:07,577 --> 00:05:10,713 Robin understands there is one set of balls she can't tie up 106 00:05:10,731 --> 00:05:13,324 with a necktie and lightly hit with a Ping-Pong paddle. 107 00:05:13,619 --> 00:05:15,036 These balls. 108 00:05:15,664 --> 00:05:19,089 Okay, I'm gonna call The Captain, get this over with. 109 00:05:21,056 --> 00:05:21,787 Ahoy. 110 00:05:21,805 --> 00:05:23,043 Hello, Captain? 111 00:05:23,062 --> 00:05:24,191 Lily, 112 00:05:24,234 --> 00:05:27,372 I hope you're not calling to harpoon our big move to Rome. 113 00:05:27,548 --> 00:05:31,205 Thank you, but I can't ask my husband to abandon his career. 114 00:05:31,259 --> 00:05:33,242 Would you like me to try and convince him? 115 00:05:33,312 --> 00:05:34,929 I'm very persuasive. 116 00:05:34,957 --> 00:05:37,398 I'm sorry, the ship has sailed. 117 00:05:37,615 --> 00:05:38,797 What's that mean? 118 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:41,190 Well, you know, "The ship has sailed"? 119 00:05:41,315 --> 00:05:43,918 That it's over and there's nothing you can do? 120 00:05:43,940 --> 00:05:46,436 What a peculiar expression. Hmm. 121 00:05:46,516 --> 00:05:48,180 Well, thanks for all your hard work, Lily. 122 00:05:48,198 --> 00:05:50,335 I've never been good at good-byes, so... 123 00:05:51,070 --> 00:05:52,446 Well, that's that. 124 00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:55,542 My dream job as an art consultant is over. 125 00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:57,938 - And the sad part... - Okay, I gotta stop you right there, Lily, 126 00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:02,104 'cause unless I'm mistaken, lock and load gentlemen. 127 00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:06,824 A scarf? No, don't put on, take off! 128 00:06:06,836 --> 00:06:08,868 Okay, you're starting to drool. 129 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:10,154 I'm calling creepy. 130 00:06:10,179 --> 00:06:11,623 Lily, it's fine. 131 00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:13,371 This is purely academic. 132 00:06:13,444 --> 00:06:15,549 It's-It's like bird-watching. 133 00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:19,661 And right now, I am watching a double-breasted... Robin! 134 00:06:21,705 --> 00:06:23,085 Wait... they know each other? 135 00:06:23,104 --> 00:06:24,966 Whoa, wait... what is going on here? 136 00:06:24,990 --> 00:06:26,777 Oh, my God, it's happening. 137 00:06:26,783 --> 00:06:28,506 This is just like I imagined. 138 00:06:28,575 --> 00:06:31,024 Right in front of Ted, so I can rub it in his face. 139 00:06:31,036 --> 00:06:32,677 The belt is mine! 140 00:06:32,722 --> 00:06:35,321 Hi, guys. Barney, you remember Liddy. 141 00:06:35,848 --> 00:06:37,294 I do? 142 00:06:37,318 --> 00:06:39,463 Yes! Libby. 143 00:06:39,496 --> 00:06:41,241 Liddy. We met when Robin hired me. 144 00:06:41,259 --> 00:06:44,135 Robin hired you? Naughty girl. Okay. 145 00:06:44,183 --> 00:06:46,480 Okay, so how's this gonna go down? 146 00:06:46,510 --> 00:06:48,927 You two just gonna start, and I'll just jump in? 147 00:06:49,879 --> 00:06:51,942 Uh, she's our wedding planner. 148 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,806 Of course she's the wedding planner! 149 00:06:54,834 --> 00:06:56,564 Good to see you again, Libby. 150 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,955 - Liddy. - Yeah. 151 00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:01,703 Hey, I'm Ted. We... we met once before. 152 00:07:01,733 --> 00:07:04,158 Oh, right, in yoga class. How are you? 153 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:07,001 She's talking to me. 154 00:07:07,152 --> 00:07:10,582 Well, I would love to stay, but now that I'm unemployed, 155 00:07:10,594 --> 00:07:13,371 I think I'll go surprise Marshall at work. 156 00:07:14,855 --> 00:07:16,855 Wedding planner. 157 00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,875 So Lily went to visit Marshall at work, 158 00:07:19,894 --> 00:07:22,367 hoping she wasn't interrupting anything important. 159 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,059 She wasn't. 160 00:07:24,096 --> 00:07:26,723 Whoa. What is going on? 161 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,957 Bernard, if we just glue the cards together... 162 00:07:30,157 --> 00:07:32,661 Lily! What are you doing here? 163 00:07:32,673 --> 00:07:33,991 Well, I baked you brownies 164 00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:36,477 because I thought you were busy working, but... 165 00:07:36,525 --> 00:07:37,885 so when you said... 166 00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:39,761 Lily, hey, I can't really talk. 167 00:07:39,779 --> 00:07:41,716 I'm working on a big project right now. 168 00:07:41,722 --> 00:07:43,346 It's a real house of cards. 169 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,431 Is this the "house of cards" you were talking about? 170 00:07:47,438 --> 00:07:49,494 I thought you had some big client. 171 00:07:49,509 --> 00:07:52,911 Oh, sweetheart, we haven't had a client here in months. 172 00:07:53,063 --> 00:07:56,097 Mmm! Brownies! Hey! 173 00:08:01,382 --> 00:08:02,994 What is going on? What do you mean 174 00:08:03,013 --> 00:08:04,965 you haven't had a client in months? 175 00:08:04,998 --> 00:08:08,325 Ever since the Gruber case, we lost a lot of business, 176 00:08:08,954 --> 00:08:11,713 people got laid off... it's just me and Bernard now. 177 00:08:11,737 --> 00:08:12,913 Where's Cootes? 178 00:08:12,931 --> 00:08:15,360 He's holed up in a bomb shelter in Colorado, 179 00:08:15,385 --> 00:08:18,413 waiting for the apocalypse and tending to his herb garden. 180 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,407 So all those times I've called you in the past few months, 181 00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:24,249 when you talked about how busy you were... 182 00:08:24,347 --> 00:08:26,032 you were just lying to me? 183 00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:28,564 Technically, I never lied... 184 00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:31,127 Hey, baby. 185 00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:32,794 Hey, baby, I can't talk right now. 186 00:08:32,827 --> 00:08:35,254 I'm working on a big case. Bye. 187 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,133 That is a big case. 188 00:08:41,893 --> 00:08:44,299 Bad time, Lily. I got to focus on the client. 189 00:08:44,311 --> 00:08:45,716 Gotta go. Bye. 190 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,131 Where were we? 191 00:08:48,137 --> 00:08:49,725 Chapter 19. 192 00:08:49,871 --> 00:08:53,355 I can't talk right now, I got a lot on my plate. 193 00:08:53,651 --> 00:08:55,007 Well, let's dig in. 194 00:08:55,025 --> 00:08:57,424 If we start now, we can be done by lunch. 195 00:08:58,843 --> 00:09:00,467 Now's not a good time, Lil. 196 00:09:00,485 --> 00:09:03,294 We got a lot of balls in the air right now. 197 00:09:03,556 --> 00:09:06,746 Okay, toss me the stapler. 198 00:09:07,664 --> 00:09:09,382 Unbelievable. 199 00:09:09,603 --> 00:09:10,773 Wait... 200 00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,918 when you said you were about to get reamed... 201 00:09:12,923 --> 00:09:15,040 Oh, right. That. 202 00:09:15,064 --> 00:09:16,455 No, sometimes, for fun, 203 00:09:16,461 --> 00:09:18,823 We throw reams of paper at each other. 204 00:09:19,032 --> 00:09:21,451 Bernard! Not a good time! 205 00:09:21,637 --> 00:09:23,550 Read the room! 206 00:09:24,192 --> 00:09:26,276 I'm sorry, baby, I... 207 00:09:26,453 --> 00:09:28,317 I didn't want you to see me fail. 208 00:09:28,341 --> 00:09:32,492 Damn it! Do you realize what you cost us by lying to me? 209 00:09:32,504 --> 00:09:34,145 The Captain is moving to Rome, 210 00:09:34,170 --> 00:09:36,879 and he offered to bring me along as his art consultant, 211 00:09:36,903 --> 00:09:39,699 but I turned it down, because I thought you loved your job. 212 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,429 Oh, my gosh. 213 00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:43,113 If we lived in Italy, 214 00:09:43,142 --> 00:09:45,591 I could just spend my days taking care of Marvin 215 00:09:45,622 --> 00:09:49,463 and trying to make pasta and watching Italian Price Is Right. 216 00:09:49,469 --> 00:09:51,944 - It sounds like a dream! - Oh, it's too late. 217 00:09:51,996 --> 00:09:55,494 No, no. Lily, I'm going to The Captain's right now! 218 00:09:55,506 --> 00:09:57,428 I'm gonna make this right! I'm gonna get you that job! 219 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,063 - No, Marshall... - You're getting that job! 220 00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:01,988 You can just make it out to Liddy Gates. 221 00:10:02,007 --> 00:10:04,212 That's L-D-D-Y. 222 00:10:04,218 --> 00:10:06,228 L-I, two D's... 223 00:10:06,245 --> 00:10:07,119 double D... 224 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,080 two D's... Y. 225 00:10:09,098 --> 00:10:12,236 Well, here is the final menu, as we discussed, 226 00:10:12,248 --> 00:10:15,034 but let me be clear. You're the boss, I'm here to serve you. 227 00:10:15,052 --> 00:10:17,256 So if there's anything you want me to remove, 228 00:10:17,291 --> 00:10:19,043 just tell me to remove it and it's gone. 229 00:10:19,056 --> 00:10:20,365 I'll remove anything you want. 230 00:10:20,371 --> 00:10:22,534 That sounds like a sound policy. Up to you, whatever you feel like. 231 00:10:22,553 --> 00:10:23,719 That's a good... That's a good thing to know. 232 00:10:23,721 --> 00:10:25,278 That's fine, you can remove whatever you want. 233 00:10:25,296 --> 00:10:28,233 I'm serious, and I won't be offended, you want it gone, 234 00:10:28,245 --> 00:10:30,752 I'll take it right off. Is it hot in here? 235 00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:31,958 - You know what? - It's not cold. 236 00:10:31,989 --> 00:10:33,551 - It's hot, it's sticky. - It's not... It's like 237 00:10:33,570 --> 00:10:35,449 Bikram, right? 238 00:10:35,612 --> 00:10:37,273 We're yoga buddies. 239 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,801 # Yoga buddies. 240 00:10:40,253 --> 00:10:43,099 Well, I'll let you guys read the menu. 241 00:10:43,112 --> 00:10:44,915 - Can you point me to the... - Coat rack? 242 00:10:44,927 --> 00:10:45,984 restroom? 243 00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:47,621 Uh, it's right over there. 244 00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:50,300 But it's hard to pee in a giant coat. 245 00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:52,880 Okay, what's going on? 246 00:10:52,898 --> 00:10:54,666 Why are you guys being so weird? 247 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,952 Ted says that Liddy has a ridonkulous body, 248 00:10:57,977 --> 00:11:00,733 but there's no way of verifying because she won't take off the coat! 249 00:11:00,851 --> 00:11:02,567 Is that why it's so hot in here? 250 00:11:02,593 --> 00:11:05,101 Did you pay Carl to turn up the heat again? 251 00:11:05,377 --> 00:11:07,181 Well, yes. 252 00:11:07,325 --> 00:11:09,492 But I was curious. 253 00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:10,931 I want to get that coat on the rack 254 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:12,849 so I can see the rack that's under the coat. 255 00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:14,563 My God. 256 00:11:15,831 --> 00:11:18,442 I have been wondering the same thing. 257 00:11:18,582 --> 00:11:20,175 I mean, she never takes that coat off. 258 00:11:20,187 --> 00:11:23,756 Whatever she's smuggling under there has to be thermonuclear. 259 00:11:24,055 --> 00:11:25,992 I bet she has WBDs. 260 00:11:26,448 --> 00:11:28,250 Weapons of bra destruction. 261 00:11:28,442 --> 00:11:29,742 Thank you. 262 00:11:29,755 --> 00:11:31,540 This, this is why 263 00:11:31,552 --> 00:11:33,742 you're the coolest fiancée ever. 264 00:11:37,002 --> 00:11:39,958 So, Ted, when you say ridonkulous... 265 00:11:39,997 --> 00:11:41,753 I can't even describe it. 266 00:11:41,813 --> 00:11:45,271 It'd be like trying to explain a rainbow to a blind person. 267 00:11:45,808 --> 00:11:46,858 Is she single? 268 00:11:46,882 --> 00:11:48,152 Why don't you ask her out? 269 00:11:48,171 --> 00:11:51,603 Actually, I almost did the first time we met, 270 00:11:52,068 --> 00:11:54,097 before she took off that coat. 271 00:11:54,544 --> 00:11:55,603 Sandstorm? 272 00:11:55,635 --> 00:11:57,735 Dubai? That hoodie? 273 00:11:57,766 --> 00:11:59,304 I mean, it's ridonkulous. 274 00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:01,493 Oh, I know. I so want to see it again. 275 00:12:01,535 --> 00:12:04,244 Well, hey, I mean, maybe after this, if you're not doing anything. 276 00:12:04,267 --> 00:12:06,726 Totally, and maybe later, we could get a bite to eat. 277 00:12:06,738 --> 00:12:09,490 There's this great place that's super close. 278 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:12,128 No, I... 279 00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,557 No, I... No. 280 00:12:13,740 --> 00:12:15,623 It was just too much. 281 00:12:15,994 --> 00:12:18,339 Indiana Jones wouldn't look at this body. 282 00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:21,760 This is a body that would melt a Nazi's face. 283 00:12:22,063 --> 00:12:25,378 Oh, man, I want my face to melt. 284 00:12:26,422 --> 00:12:27,997 It's too bad Marshall isn't here. 285 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,001 Why Marshall? 286 00:12:29,032 --> 00:12:30,467 'Cause he could just say... 287 00:12:30,528 --> 00:12:31,412 Hey, Liddy, 288 00:12:31,425 --> 00:12:32,943 why don't you take off that coat? 289 00:12:32,955 --> 00:12:35,774 - And Liddy would be all... - Sure, should I take my shirt off, too? 290 00:12:35,818 --> 00:12:37,732 No, the coat's probably enough. 291 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,658 And he'd get away with it. 292 00:12:39,728 --> 00:12:41,335 You know why? No stink. 293 00:12:41,370 --> 00:12:44,650 You obviously haven't split a cab with him after basketball. 294 00:12:44,916 --> 00:12:46,860 No, I don't mean "physical stink". 295 00:12:46,879 --> 00:12:48,513 I mean the pheromonal stink 296 00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:50,899 a guy gives off when he's desperate for action 297 00:12:50,917 --> 00:12:52,465 to a pathetic degree. 298 00:12:52,492 --> 00:12:53,849 You know, like Ted. 299 00:12:53,948 --> 00:12:56,382 - I have stink? - Bro, you dipped in stink. 300 00:12:56,537 --> 00:12:58,454 If Liddy came back to the table and you said... 301 00:12:59,032 --> 00:12:59,926 Uh, Liddy, 302 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,485 why don't you... take off that coat? 303 00:13:01,503 --> 00:13:04,601 You want me to take my coat off? How about instead, I take off your face? 304 00:13:04,787 --> 00:13:05,986 Ow! 305 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,215 Ow, oh! 306 00:13:07,666 --> 00:13:08,452 Really? 307 00:13:08,471 --> 00:13:09,855 You had to have her beat me up? 308 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,161 She's not done, Ted. 309 00:13:11,388 --> 00:13:12,832 Ghost Protocol 310 00:13:12,850 --> 00:13:15,233 wasn't that good! 311 00:13:16,627 --> 00:13:18,140 Marshall, on the other hand, 312 00:13:18,196 --> 00:13:20,418 girls take one look and just know 313 00:13:20,439 --> 00:13:23,120 there's a guy who's met the girl of his dreams 314 00:13:23,143 --> 00:13:26,927 and wants to spend the rest of his life with her and only her. 315 00:13:27,093 --> 00:13:28,371 So why don't you ask her? 316 00:13:28,405 --> 00:13:29,604 Pardon me? 317 00:13:29,693 --> 00:13:31,734 Aren't you a guy who's met 318 00:13:31,746 --> 00:13:33,494 the girl of his dreams and wants to spend 319 00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:36,543 the rest of his life with her and only her? 320 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:39,047 Of course, baby. 321 00:13:39,411 --> 00:13:41,962 So why don't you ask her to take her coat off? 322 00:13:44,304 --> 00:13:46,185 Um... 323 00:13:48,417 --> 00:13:51,485 And you never even saw Ghost Protocol. 324 00:13:52,882 --> 00:13:54,549 So, the big day's coming up. 325 00:13:54,561 --> 00:13:55,803 How are you guys feeling? 326 00:13:55,811 --> 00:13:59,150 I talked to the caterer, and the mini lamb shanks are gonna be amazing. 327 00:13:59,230 --> 00:14:01,675 Oh, by the way, I talked to the florist, and the violets 328 00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:03,388 - are gonna be gorgeous. - Okay, Barney. You can do this. 329 00:14:03,401 --> 00:14:05,479 Just say it. Say it. 330 00:14:05,619 --> 00:14:08,094 - Say it. - little ones and big ones... 331 00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:11,528 Hey, Liddy, do you want to take off your coat? 332 00:14:16,109 --> 00:14:17,433 Sure. 333 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:20,321 I did it! I proved to myself and everyone else 334 00:14:20,341 --> 00:14:22,758 that I have no desire to be with any other woman. 335 00:14:22,822 --> 00:14:26,060 I am completely immune to every other... 336 00:14:26,541 --> 00:14:28,825 Holy crap! 337 00:14:32,087 --> 00:14:33,733 And it was, indeed, 338 00:14:33,803 --> 00:14:34,620 ridonkulous. 339 00:14:34,651 --> 00:14:37,135 And we got to see it, all thanks 340 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:38,933 to this lovely lady right here. 341 00:14:38,952 --> 00:14:41,996 Robin, thanks to you, I can now walk up to any girl 342 00:14:42,009 --> 00:14:44,548 and say whatever creepy, disgusting thing I want 343 00:14:44,554 --> 00:14:45,953 and totally get away with it. 344 00:14:45,974 --> 00:14:47,040 - Mm. - Man! 345 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,064 I think I'm gonna like being married. 346 00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:52,155 Hello? 347 00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,202 Ahoy. 348 00:14:54,210 --> 00:14:55,609 Ahoy, Lily. 349 00:14:55,736 --> 00:14:57,620 I just had a long talk with your husband. 350 00:14:57,665 --> 00:15:00,353 He convinced me to offer you that job in Rome again. 351 00:15:00,445 --> 00:15:01,994 How do you respond? 352 00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:07,096 Thanks, but the answer is still no. 353 00:15:12,336 --> 00:15:15,398 Lily, why the hell did you turn that down again. 354 00:15:15,429 --> 00:15:18,759 Because I'd have to get a new passport photo. 355 00:15:18,771 --> 00:15:21,278 And I'd miss out on New York in August. 356 00:15:21,304 --> 00:15:23,976 Unless they open the Shake Shop in a box. 357 00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:26,443 Lily, what's the real reason? 358 00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:29,403 What if we moved to Rome... 359 00:15:37,758 --> 00:15:39,939 - What's so funny? - I'm uh sorry. 360 00:15:40,298 --> 00:15:44,005 I can't believe you paid a 10 million euro this painting. 361 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:44,762 Why not? 362 00:15:44,793 --> 00:15:46,438 This is not even a painting. 363 00:15:46,476 --> 00:15:49,139 I spin my plate, it's gonna fill a blank canvas. 364 00:15:49,164 --> 00:15:50,129 Smell it. 365 00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:51,606 It's like a toilet. 366 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:54,165 It just make you look uh 367 00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:55,855 stupida. 368 00:15:55,931 --> 00:15:57,582 - Lily, you're fired. - What? 369 00:15:57,605 --> 00:15:59,976 But no. I... it's still a great painting. 370 00:15:59,989 --> 00:16:02,842 I like what it says about the structure in society 371 00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:04,341 and the changing worlds of women. 372 00:16:15,954 --> 00:16:18,653 I used to be an art consultant. 373 00:16:26,661 --> 00:16:29,569 Hey baby. It's time for Marvin's... bottle. 374 00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:33,065 And it's all because I screwed up and through away 375 00:16:33,084 --> 00:16:35,255 a perfectly comfortable life here in New York. 376 00:16:35,284 --> 00:16:37,289 Lily, you're not going to screw up. 377 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,808 You know what, just please, just leave it alone. 378 00:16:39,883 --> 00:16:40,802 Besides, 379 00:16:40,837 --> 00:16:42,198 deep down, I don't think 380 00:16:42,223 --> 00:16:44,100 Marshall's even excited about Italy. 381 00:16:44,136 --> 00:16:46,546 At that very moment in little Italy. 382 00:17:02,908 --> 00:17:05,176 Marron! 383 00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:07,345 I can't wait for my wedding day. 384 00:17:07,534 --> 00:17:09,632 I mean, there is no way 385 00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:12,284 that Liddy is gonna be wearing that coat, right? 386 00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:13,196 Right? 387 00:17:13,215 --> 00:17:15,209 "Barney Stinson, do you hope 388 00:17:15,227 --> 00:17:17,333 she wears something slinky and backless?" 389 00:17:17,364 --> 00:17:19,071 "I do". 390 00:17:21,102 --> 00:17:24,507 Okay, can I just say something as your best man? 391 00:17:24,930 --> 00:17:26,214 Be careful. 392 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,330 What do you mean? 393 00:17:27,342 --> 00:17:29,226 You just... you haven't been acting like a guy 394 00:17:29,244 --> 00:17:31,199 who's about to get married, and I know you think it's okay 395 00:17:31,211 --> 00:17:33,539 because Robin's so cool, but I'm telling you, 396 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,254 she's not as cool as you think she is. 397 00:17:36,373 --> 00:17:37,696 Oh, 398 00:17:37,927 --> 00:17:39,211 I see. 399 00:17:39,464 --> 00:17:40,748 And you'd know this 400 00:17:40,761 --> 00:17:42,977 because you know Robin better than I do. 401 00:17:42,989 --> 00:17:45,946 You know what she appreciates better than her own fiancé. 402 00:17:45,958 --> 00:17:47,014 I'm just saying, 403 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:48,814 if I was getting married in three weeks... 404 00:17:48,827 --> 00:17:50,391 But you're not getting married in three weeks, Ted. 405 00:17:50,413 --> 00:17:51,695 I am. 406 00:17:51,728 --> 00:17:53,979 Robin's marrying me, not you. 407 00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:57,741 You're right. 408 00:17:57,759 --> 00:17:59,510 Not my place. 409 00:17:59,947 --> 00:18:01,980 Why don't I get the next round? 410 00:18:06,455 --> 00:18:08,049 So... 411 00:18:08,074 --> 00:18:10,337 how many times are you gonna say no to your dream job? 412 00:18:10,408 --> 00:18:12,341 I'm just trying to plan my day. 413 00:18:12,649 --> 00:18:14,849 I'm a scaredy-cat, okay? 414 00:18:15,026 --> 00:18:18,044 I want to be the type of person that just charges fearlessly 415 00:18:18,057 --> 00:18:19,663 into the unknown, but 416 00:18:19,734 --> 00:18:21,912 I came back two weeks early from Paris 417 00:18:21,943 --> 00:18:23,750 because I was lonely. 418 00:18:23,889 --> 00:18:25,728 I went to San Francisco, 419 00:18:25,752 --> 00:18:28,795 and I was never more depressed in my life. 420 00:18:29,557 --> 00:18:31,633 I'm small town, Marshall. 421 00:18:31,771 --> 00:18:34,755 I'm a hick from Brooklyn who's terrified of living 422 00:18:34,769 --> 00:18:38,112 more than ten subway stops from where I was born. 423 00:18:38,313 --> 00:18:41,624 Okay, Lily, if I can move from St. Cloud, Minnesota, 424 00:18:41,636 --> 00:18:43,252 to New York City, 425 00:18:43,457 --> 00:18:45,490 then you can move to Rome. 426 00:18:46,436 --> 00:18:48,120 We know nothing about Italy. 427 00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:50,859 We have no friends there. We don't speak the language. 428 00:18:54,870 --> 00:18:57,638 Okay, so you know that one sentence. 429 00:18:57,660 --> 00:18:59,142 Can you say anything else? 430 00:19:05,358 --> 00:19:06,852 That-that was the same sentence. 431 00:19:06,864 --> 00:19:09,012 You just changed the inflection. 432 00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:51,720 I love you, too. 433 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:53,828 All right. 434 00:19:53,871 --> 00:19:55,194 We're going to Italy. 435 00:19:55,220 --> 00:19:57,104 Si! 436 00:19:57,816 --> 00:20:00,035 You may not know this yet, but... 437 00:20:00,592 --> 00:20:02,637 I've already done some shopping. 438 00:20:12,639 --> 00:20:14,674 Welcome home. 439 00:20:16,747 --> 00:20:18,442 Oh... 440 00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:21,562 You are so cool, 441 00:20:23,628 --> 00:20:25,298 but not for long.