1
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,010
Thank you for
bringing me here.
2
00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:13,012
I am so glad we made
it. That snowstorm
3
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:14,513
Was getting really bad.
4
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,981
Wait, you think
this is a snowstorm?
5
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,784
This is nothing.
I'll tell you about a snowstorm.
6
00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:21,854
It was winter break,
freshman year of college...
7
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,389
Marshall and I were
roommates, but we weren't
8
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,957
Really good friends yet.
The mother: Wait, stop.
9
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,325
You've told me this one before.
10
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,393
I have? When?
11
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,962
Uh, let's see. It was...
12
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,030
All the time.
13
00:00:31,032 --> 00:00:33,232
Really?
(deep breath)
14
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,034
You and marshall
drove back to school...
15
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,802
"500 miles" played on a loop.
16
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,170
You took a back road,
ran out of gas,
17
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,639
Got stuck in a snowstorm,
spooned to stay warm--
18
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,007
At least that's your story--
19
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:44,009
And at the end of it,
you were best friends.
20
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:47,413
Okay. Okay, that's fine,
because guess what.
21
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,981
That wasn't even
the worst snowstorm ever.
22
00:00:48,983 --> 00:00:50,582
It was 2008...
23
00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,051
Barney and I...
The mother: Took over the bar,
24
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:53,986
Met the arizona tech
marching band-- "go hens!"--
25
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:55,320
And they played
"auld lang syne" when marshall
26
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:57,089
Picked up lily at the airport.
27
00:00:57,091 --> 00:01:00,092
Okay. Have I told you about
the time that marshall...
28
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,694
The mother:
Tried to put christmas lights
on lily's grandparents' house
29
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,329
And the little ragamuffin from
next door left him stranded
30
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:05,697
On the roof?
31
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:06,899
Did lily tell you that one?
32
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,367
Yeah.
33
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:11,136
Lily used the word "ragamuffin."
34
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:15,274
So I've told you
all my stories.
35
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,242
I'm afraid so.
But luckily,
36
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:20,179
I have plenty of stories
that you don't know yet.
37
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,414
Like the one where my
college roommates and I
38
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,715
Went to this male strip club...
39
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,517
And your friend dongnose
got smacked on the nose
40
00:01:25,519 --> 00:01:26,785
With a dong?
41
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:27,786
I know that one.
42
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,789
Okay.
43
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,791
What about the story
that explains how...
44
00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,293
Dongnose got her
nickname "dongnose"
45
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:36,795
And that it had nothing to do
with the dong-smacking incident?
46
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:37,963
Heard it, loved it,
47
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:41,033
Called it the greatest
coincidence of the 21st century.
48
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:43,368
Wow.
49
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,971
You know every one
of my stories.
50
00:01:45,973 --> 00:01:49,074
And you know every one of mine.
51
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:51,477
I guess it's official.
52
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,178
We're an old married couple.
53
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,316
Nice!
We did it!
54
00:01:57,340 --> 00:02:03,340
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com
55
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:14,099
Well, well, if it
isn't the mosbys.
56
00:02:14,101 --> 00:02:15,334
Hi.
Hi.
57
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:18,303
Here for a romantic weekend
away from the kids.
58
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,672
(laughs)
it's a good thing there's no
guests on either side of you,
59
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,008
'cause those bedsprings
are gonna squeak like mice
60
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,077
In a cheese factory.
Am I right? (laughs)
61
00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:27,112
Just don't break any
of the lamps like your friends
62
00:02:27,114 --> 00:02:29,515
Barney and robin, okay?
That's not how the lamp broke.
63
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,517
Of course not. All right,
you have fun, you two.
64
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:32,818
(chuckles)
65
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,086
Uh,
66
00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:35,354
What lamp is this?
67
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,156
The lamp robin broke
the day of the wedding.
68
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:39,758
Oh, my god.
69
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,859
You don't know this one.
70
00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:43,028
Oh... Man.
71
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,429
This is a good one.
(laughs)
72
00:02:44,431 --> 00:02:45,964
I mean, it's got everything.
73
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:48,467
Intrigue, betrayal, lamps.
74
00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,603
It is a ripping yarn,
so buckle your seatbelt.
Just
75
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,038
Tell the story.
Okay.
76
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,073
Here goes.
77
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,410
Robin broke a lamp.
78
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:02,481
Okay, this has to stop.
79
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:05,017
Come on, we're
just having fun.
80
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:07,653
It has been
a long weekend.
81
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:08,887
This is how I relax.
82
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:11,156
Really?
83
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,691
This is how you relax?
84
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:15,494
By not getting a single shot
past me the entire morning?
85
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:18,063
You suck, scherbatsky,
you shoot like my grandma.
86
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,566
Okay, scherbatsky,
you just poked the dragon.
87
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,034
Here comes the bride.
88
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:23,869
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, okay,
okay. How about
89
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:27,839
We switch to an activity that's
more suited to somebody who's,
90
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:30,342
You know, (chuckles),
getting married today?
91
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,345
Oh. We gonna go
chug some labatts?
92
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:37,216
I was thinking we could chug
some memories instead.
93
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:39,985
"barney & robin:
Lovers forever
94
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:41,253
"and ever
and ever:
95
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,222
A love story."
96
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:45,691
Sounds cheesy. I'm gonna go barf
forever and ever and ever.
97
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:46,992
See you, hosers.
98
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,996
It's not cheesy.
99
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:54,032
(gentle tune starts chiming)
100
00:03:54,034 --> 00:03:55,601
See?
101
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,002
(sniffles)
102
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,547
Uh, can you tell me
the name of the guest
103
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:09,915
Staying in room nine?
104
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,683
I'm sorry.
105
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,752
That would violate
hotel privacy policy.
106
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:18,957
Well, maybe my old friend
mr. Lincoln...
107
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,160
Can emancipate that information.
108
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:26,698
I'm so sorry, I wasn't clear.
109
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:30,168
I can't violate
our hotel privacy policy.
110
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,171
For five dollars.
111
00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:39,745
Something with
a two on it is fine.
112
00:04:39,747 --> 00:04:41,947
But those are super rare and
the one I have is kind of lucky.
113
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,282
Just give me a 20, mr. Mosby.
114
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:54,126
That room belongs
to a ms. Susan tupp.
115
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,461
Oh, boy.
116
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:02,234
Barney:
God, you're gorgeous.
117
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:06,104
Oh, I can't wait
to be inside you.
118
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:09,341
Barney. Get out here,
this is your wedding day.
119
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:12,010
Wha... (grunts)
120
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,512
Where is she?
Who?
121
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:16,181
Look, I just grossly overpaid
for some information
122
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:18,116
About this room,
so I know it's accurate.
123
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:20,652
This room belongs
to susan tupp.
124
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,953
Who?
125
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,322
Susan tupp.
126
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:24,423
Who?
127
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,992
Sue...
128
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,527
Tupp.
129
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,628
Suit up.
130
00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:30,762
I'm trying to.
131
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:32,964
I need you to help me
132
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,100
Pick the suit I'm gonna wear
when I walk down the aisle.
133
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:36,368
Okay,
134
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,504
Robin walks down the aisle,
you wait at the end of it.
135
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:42,841
Okay, then the suit
I'll be wearing
136
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:46,111
When they all stand
as I enter the chapel.
That's also her.
137
00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:48,547
Really? Man, the fellas
sure do get boned
138
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,615
On the whole
wedding thing, don't they?
Okay.
139
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,951
All right, well, let's,
let's pick you a suit.
140
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,019
What are... What are
the top contenders?
141
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:57,122
Well, after careful
consideration,
142
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,191
I have narrowed it down to
143
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,393
These ones...
144
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:02,828
And these ones...
145
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:04,830
And the other ones in this room
146
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,065
And all the ones
in the adjoining room.
147
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,868
So you've narrowed it down
to all your suits.
Yeah, we're screwed.
148
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,903
And this is a picture
of the restaurant
149
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:14,906
Where you and barney
had your first date.
150
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:17,376
And now you're getting married.
151
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:18,643
Mm.
152
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,012
And this is the receipt
153
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,914
From the meal you and barney ate
154
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,584
At that restaurant
on your first date.
155
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:28,420
And now you're getting married.
156
00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:29,921
Can we look at this later?
157
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,391
Later? There is no later.
158
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,725
Robin,
159
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,994
This is a day
you only get to do once.
160
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:39,197
You need to appreciate
the importance of it right now.
161
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,900
Oh, my god.
162
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:46,338
How did I only
just now realize this?
163
00:06:46,340 --> 00:06:49,107
Dude, this hotel has
the wedding bride 2
164
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,041
On pay-per-view.
165
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,943
Score.
166
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,012
This is the best
day of my life!
167
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,887
I mean, I know robin's
not the girliest girl,
168
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,889
But you'd think
on her wedding day,
169
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:06,291
She'd be at least
a little sentimental.
170
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:08,026
Everyone deals with getting
married differently.
171
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,262
I got what I thought was
the worst haircut ever.
172
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:12,898
Till I fixed it with the
actual worst haircut ever.
173
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:15,200
Which led to the worst
wedding photos ever.
174
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:18,537
But at least you had
a wedding day freak-out.
Baby,
175
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,905
Don't worry. Any minute now,
176
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:22,207
Robin's gonna get smacked
in the face with her own
177
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,242
"holy crap, this
is my wedding" moment,
178
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,045
And then she's gonna wedding out
all over the place. I promise.
179
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,381
But you can't force it,
it has to just happen.
180
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:32,751
Mm, I don't know. I mean,
she bailed on my scrapbook
181
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,820
When she found out
the wedding bride 2
182
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:37,055
Is on pay-per-view.
The wedding bride 2
is on pay-per-view?!
183
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:40,392
Curtis:
I'm sorry, did...
184
00:07:40,394 --> 00:07:41,960
Did I hear you guys
talking about
185
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:42,961
The wedding bride?
186
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,396
Oh, god.
The movie or the...
187
00:07:44,398 --> 00:07:46,164
Smash broadway musical?
188
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:49,935
(scoffs) smash? Oh, oh, oh,
I-I guess a show's a smash now
189
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:52,170
If it closes
after only 96 weeks.
190
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,607
So my husband's
ex-fiancé's husband
191
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,509
Wrote the screenplay
for the wedding bride.
192
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:01,112
"jed mosley"
was based on ted.
193
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,915
Okay, jed was not based on me...
194
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,083
Hey!
195
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,785
That is not a toy,
you ragamuffin.
196
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:11,590
That is an authentic flail
I won at the renaissance fair.
197
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:12,691
...Entirely.
198
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:16,361
But, regardless, there's...
199
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,029
There's still some
lingering pain there and...
200
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,598
Well, as you can imagine,
201
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,633
My friends promised me
that they'd never watch it.
202
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,301
Wow.
203
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,970
Those are some good friends.
204
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,239
Oh, they're the best.
205
00:08:27,974 --> 00:08:30,675
Oh, oh, whoa!
206
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,344
My wiener!
207
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:35,347
I can't believe jed made us
promise not to watch this.
208
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:36,648
Wait, you mean ted.
209
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,250
Whatever. Same guy.
210
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,687
See, I would have expected you
to have an extra-special suit
211
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,955
Tailor-made
just for this occasion.
212
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,457
Oh, I did.
213
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,959
I had my boy timmy g make
the perfect wedding suit.
214
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,394
You ever heard of "bespoke"?
215
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:51,062
This suit was
be-freaking-screamed.
216
00:08:51,064 --> 00:08:53,665
But then I tried it on this
morning and it was uncomfortable
217
00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:56,134
And itchy and completely wrong.
It was like a suit made
218
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,036
For someone
with terrible posture,
219
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,839
No taste and limited funds.
220
00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:02,207
Here, you take it.
221
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,909
The only
question is,
222
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,844
Which of these
other suits do I pick?
223
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,679
There are so many great
ones to choose from.
224
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:08,880
Uh,
225
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:09,881
How about this one?
226
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,350
Yes. Yes, that's the one.
227
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:15,253
Oh, hey, quick question: Is it
weird to get married in a suit
228
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,989
That you may have worn while
banging a female rodeo clown?
229
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,092
I know what you're wondering.
230
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,361
Yes, the carpet
matched the drapes.
231
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,697
Of course that's weird.
Every part of that is weird.
232
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:26,698
Mm.
233
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,033
Uh, what about this suit?
234
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:30,035
Huh?
(slow chuckle)
235
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,938
Let's just say I stuffed
a lot of bunnies in that suit.
236
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:34,706
Ugh, barney, do you have
to phrase it that way?
237
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:38,009
Actual bunnies, ted.
This is my magic suit.
238
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,578
Get your mind out
of the gutter.
239
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:43,081
Though, I did once wear it
to the playboy holiday party
240
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,083
And, uh... (chuckles)
241
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:48,086
Let's just say I stuffed a lot
of bunnies in that suit.
242
00:09:50,289 --> 00:09:51,556
Uh...
243
00:09:51,558 --> 00:09:52,891
How about this one?
Oh, man,
244
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,860
I went crazy on an escort
in that one.
245
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:59,464
Barney, come on.
A ford escort, ted,
I did it on a car.
246
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:01,933
With a woman who I then
may or may not have paid.
247
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,501
Yeah, that one's out, too.
248
00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:07,906
Okay, so your wedding's
in a few hours.
249
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,108
Kind of strange
to spend those hours
250
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,710
Watching a terrible movie,
right?
251
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:14,546
Terrible? Lily,
this movie is a revelation.
252
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:16,581
I can't believe that ted
wouldn't let us see it.
253
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:19,217
Yeah. Why was he hanging
so much beef on this movie?
254
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:21,653
Just 'cause there's a character
based on him? (laughs)
255
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,723
Of course. I'll make
all weddings illegal.
256
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,625
Then stella can never
be a wedding bride.
257
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:27,892
(cackles)
258
00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:28,893
Ooh,
259
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:31,663
No-can-I-do's-ville, baby doll.
260
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:34,099
It's like,
"relax, ted,
261
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,968
It's no big deal.
You should be flattered."
262
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,970
And now to celebrate with
that piece of chocolate cake
263
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,405
I've been saving.
264
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,506
What?!
265
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,008
Who ate my cake?!
266
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:47,145
Uh, what cake?
267
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,547
Narshall!
268
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:53,018
Narshall?
269
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,920
Narshall. How dare they?
270
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:56,955
That is
insulting
271
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:58,189
And ridiculous
272
00:10:58,191 --> 00:10:59,824
And I am nothing
like that character.
273
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,793
I'm gonna sue everyone involved
with this film.
274
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:05,196
So, you're-you're gonna sue
them on the grounds that
275
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:08,166
Nothing like that cake thing
has ever happened?
276
00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,839
(sighs)
277
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,508
If ted didn't want me
to eat that cake,
278
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,109
He should have put a note on it.
279
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,178
(knocking)
280
00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,785
Oh, hi, grandma.
Robin, sweetheart.
281
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,453
I wanted you
to have this.
282
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,723
It's me and your grandpa
on our wedding day.
283
00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:33,224
Aw, that's so sweet.
284
00:11:33,226 --> 00:11:34,459
See my bouquet?
285
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:36,461
Those wildflowers--
286
00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,863
They were supposed
to be hydrangeas,
287
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:40,965
But there was a mix-up
at the florist's.
288
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,068
I was so upset.
289
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,503
Your grandpa went
behind the church
290
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,706
And picked
those wildflowers
291
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,407
For me. And now
292
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,576
He's buried...
Behind the very same church,
293
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,411
Surrounded
by the very same wildflowers.
294
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,647
Okay, grandma,
watching a movie. Got to go.
295
00:11:56,415 --> 00:11:57,849
Every single holiday,
296
00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,017
That same dumb story.
297
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,986
Sorry, grandma, not as touching
as you think it is.
298
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:04,189
(crying):
At the very same church.
299
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,757
Now, I want to see
300
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:09,527
If jed can get his wiener
unstuck from that thermos.
301
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:12,097
(chuckling)
no-can-do's-ville, baby doll.
302
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,065
Uh, I'm sorry.
Did you just
303
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,668
Turn off the bride's tv
on her wedding day?
Oh!
304
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:18,670
Oh! Is this your wedding day?
(chuckles)
305
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,672
I'm sorry. I couldn't tell
because you're acting
306
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:24,075
Like it's any other
Sunday morning, and it's not.
307
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,511
Lily, if you're waiting for me
to suddenly turn
308
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,780
Into th-th-the wedding bride,
you just give up.
309
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,381
That's just not me.
Fine.
310
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,718
Maybe we should all just act
like this wedding's no big deal.
311
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,388
Maybe I don't even feel like
wearing my bridesmaid's dress.
312
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,958
Great. It-it's just a wedding.
Who cares what people wear?
313
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,226
Say yes to the suit!
314
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:44,195
(sobbing):
I can't! I can't.
315
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,931
Great. Because I actually
brought a different dress
316
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:48,199
That I'd like to wear.
317
00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:48,967
Fine.
318
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,435
Oh, no.
319
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,971
Maybe I'll go put it on
right now.
320
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:54,606
Go right ahead.
What?
321
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,707
(sucks air through teeth)
I'm so sorry.
322
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:56,641
What, why?
323
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:59,110
I know this story, too.
324
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:02,814
Really?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. Robin and lily get
in a big fight
325
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,316
And then, a few minutes later,
there's a knock at the door.
326
00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:09,154
Hello.
327
00:13:17,163 --> 00:13:18,963
I've told you
this one before.
A few times.
328
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,965
(groans)
I'm just...
329
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:24,602
A boring old man
who won't stop spinning yarns.
330
00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:27,739
Oh, hey. I love your yarns.
331
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:30,341
I hope you never stop
spinning them.
332
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,611
But...
333
00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,447
You're the love of my life,
pooh bear.
334
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,750
I just worry about you.
335
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:44,422
I don't want you to be the guy
who lives in his stories.
336
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:48,193
Life only moves forward.
337
00:13:51,096 --> 00:13:53,097
So what happens next?
338
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,133
With lily and the wedding dress,
I mean.
339
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:58,136
Well... She brought the dress
340
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,972
So that she and marshall could
get new wedding photos taken.
341
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:04,375
Because in yet another story
that I know...
342
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:07,111
(shouting)
no!
343
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,948
What kind of space would I have
in my brain for other things
344
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,616
If I didn't know all this?
345
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:14,485
Eh, probably just state birds
346
00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,820
Or some crap.
347
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,689
(chuckles)
so, uh,
348
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,024
Lily wanted to borrow
robin's photographer.
349
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:23,061
That shouldn't be a problem.
Shouldn't be
350
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,897
A problem, robin? Of course
it should be a problem.
351
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:27,198
This is your wedding.
352
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,134
You can't let somebody borrow
your photographer.
353
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,502
Don't worry.
She's not serious, robin.
354
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:34,038
I didn't even bring the suit
that I wore to our wedding.
355
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:34,973
Yes, you did.
356
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,040
It's in our room.
357
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,141
Go put it on.
We're doing this.
358
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,978
And, robin,
since you don't seem to care,
359
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:42,647
I think I'll be wearing this
to the ceremony.
360
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:43,982
Fine!
Fine!
361
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:46,484
Fine. There's a very simple
solution here.
362
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,386
We might as well just face it.
363
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,388
(sighs)
364
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,991
U.S. Marines have to get married
in uniform, so...
365
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,993
I'll just go enlist.
366
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,861
Dude,
367
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,863
We can enlist together!
That's the dream!
368
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,865
That's not the...
I wonder if they let you
pick bunkmates.
369
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:04,035
I hope they do. Although
I might want to request
a single. You'll make friends.
370
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,436
Look, enough of this.
371
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,172
Tim made you this amazing suit.
372
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,340
Put it on.
373
00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:14,679
This feels weird.
374
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,880
That's because it's new.
375
00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:17,916
It's a suit that's never
been worn before,
376
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:20,018
A suit you never dreamed
you'd wear.
377
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:23,721
All of this suit's memories
are still ahead of it.
378
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,290
Look,
picture it, huh?
379
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:27,458
The ceremony.
380
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,528
When everyone
stands up for me?
They do that for her.
381
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,064
They should.
382
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,899
She's gonna
look amazing.
383
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,134
You'd better
believe it.
384
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,903
She walks
down the aisle,
385
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,905
You say your vows,
386
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,541
You go
to the reception,
387
00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,543
You have
your first dance.
388
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,546
And before you know it,
just like magic,
389
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,949
You realize...
390
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:52,951
It's a perfect fit.
391
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,888
You're right, ted.
392
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:58,957
This is the one.
393
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,160
Thanks.
394
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,164
So...
395
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:08,733
Belts.
396
00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,005
Hey, lil. Nice dress.
397
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,807
(sighs)
you two were made
for each other.
398
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,409
Like, does no one care
that I'm wearing this dress?
399
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:19,944
I care.
400
00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,679
Okay. Now you're good.
401
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,314
Okay, look,
402
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:26,351
I know this is your
wedding, but this is
403
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:28,152
A big moment
for all of us.
404
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:30,822
This may be the last time
we're all hanging out together
405
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:32,857
For who knows how long.
406
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:33,858
I mean, tomorrow
morning,
407
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,026
Ted's leaving
for chicag...
408
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:38,629
Oh, boy.
Lily.
409
00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:40,932
Wait, you already know.
410
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,167
You already know.
411
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,003
You're married to
lily, which means...
412
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:47,005
She pocket-texted me
while you were telling her.
413
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,007
So...
414
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:51,776
Everybody knows I'm moving
to chicago tomorrow.
415
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,445
Lily's right.
416
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:57,949
We don't know the next time
that we'll all be together.
417
00:16:57,951 --> 00:16:59,951
Ted:
And then I think
it hit all of us.
418
00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:02,020
We didn't know the next time
we'd be together.
419
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:05,823
This was it.
420
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,025
And it's funny.
421
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:08,126
In a moment like that,
422
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,127
When what's really happening
423
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:10,862
Is too intense to deal with,
424
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,930
Sometimes it's best...
425
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,502
To leave it unspoken
426
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:20,805
And just enjoy
each other's company instead.
427
00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,909
You know, I've been wanting
to see this movie.
428
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,078
Yes, movie time.
429
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,913
So it's not bad luck for the...
430
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:31,716
Bride to see the groom
in his wedding suit?
No,
431
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,684
I think it's fine. Nice tie.
432
00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:36,387
Thanks. There was a cornflower
blue one I almost went with.
433
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:37,822
Oh. Um,
434
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,424
That would've brought out
your eyes.
435
00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:43,094
You brought more than one tie,
right?
436
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,996
I was trying to pack light.
437
00:17:44,998 --> 00:17:47,231
Hey, you know what,
maybe the, uh, groomsmen
should go get some food.
438
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:49,000
I don't want ted to have
to sit through this movie.
439
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:51,035
Ah. I appreciate that, narshall.
440
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,103
Really?
441
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,939
Aw, damn it.
Sorry, I saw it on a plane.
442
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,707
What, so this is gonna be,
like, a thing now?
Yeah,
443
00:17:56,709 --> 00:17:59,710
It's gonna be a thing now,
narshall. Right?
444
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,245
Narshall.
(chuckles)
dude,
445
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,081
Settle down, swarley.
446
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:04,282
Yeah.
447
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,751
Yeah, swarlize theron,
take it easy.
448
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,987
Man, this was supposed
to be my special day.
449
00:18:12,724 --> 00:18:16,294
Oh. Hey, we survived the storm!
450
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:20,131
(sniffing)
oh, narshall,
did you do that?
451
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,233
Nope. Wasn't me.
452
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,635
Well, then who was it?
453
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,637
(growling)
454
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,406
(jed and narshall
yelling)
455
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:30,141
A gorilla! Gorilla!
456
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,275
So that
457
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,977
Really happened to ted?
458
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:34,979
That is exactly
what went down.
459
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,814
Chapter and verse.
460
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,616
Uh-oh. Out of ice.
461
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,085
I'll get it.
Oh, no. Got
it. Sit down.
462
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,987
Plus, the, uh, vending machine's
got a loose coil.
463
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,388
I'm gonna try
to hip check my way
464
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:45,890
Into some free
tropical skittles.
465
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:49,260
(chuckles)
(sighs)
466
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:52,096
Your sister's not
like most brides, is she?
467
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:55,099
She's a scherbatsky.
She's not gonna lose her timbits
468
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,001
Just 'cause she's getting
married.
469
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:01,172
I guess some people
just never have that
470
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:04,976
"holy crap,
this is my wedding" moment.
471
00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:07,044
(humming softly)
472
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,252
Mom?
473
00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:25,096
Ted:
That's the story.
474
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:26,998
Right down
to the surprise ending.
475
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,000
Is that really such a surprise?
476
00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:30,668
I mean, come on.
477
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,003
Yeah, of course she showed up.
478
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:35,072
What mother is gonna miss
her daughter's wedding?
479
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,114
Oh, hey.
480
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:46,150
No. Come on.
(sniffling)
481
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,553
It's okay. I'm fine.
482
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:51,055
I'm okay.
483
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:54,058
(sighs)
484
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:57,995
Did barney really wear
a scuba suit into the bar?
485
00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,964
I've told you that story
a million times.
486
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,066
Yeah, but where did barney get
the scuba suit?
487
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,869
(chuckles)
he stole it.
488
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:05,736
What?
489
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,071
Yeah.
(chuckles)
490
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,339
I can't believe
I forgot that.
491
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,575
He... Walked right
into a sporting goods store,
492
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:13,477
Tried on a scuba suit,
and walked right out the door.
493
00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,980
Walked all the way home
in it, like, 20 blocks.
494
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,248
(chuckles)
495
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,549
(laughs)
guy in a scuba suit,
496
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,052
Just walking down broadway.
Ah.
497
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,553
He should be in prison.
498
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,356
Well, yeah, for lots of reasons.
(laughs)
499
00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:27,091
You know, the thief
of the group is lily.
No.
500
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,026
Yes. Oh, my god. Lily...
No. She stole my heart.
501
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:34,599
No, n-no, I'm telling you,
lily, from like, uh...
♪ she might be in tangier
502
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:39,203
♪ she left here
last early spring ♪
503
00:20:39,205 --> 00:20:46,010
♪ is livin' there, I hear
504
00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:51,282
♪ say for me
that I'm all right ♪
505
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:55,720
♪ though things get
kind of slow ♪
506
00:20:55,722 --> 00:21:01,726
♪ she might think
that I've forgotten her ♪
507
00:21:01,728 --> 00:21:05,062
♪ don't tell her it isn't so.
508
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,764
Captioned by
media access group at wgbh
access.Wgbh.Org