1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:04,870
Narrator: It was the day
of barney and robin's wedding,
2
00:00:04,872 --> 00:00:06,271
And a surprise guest
had just arrived.
3
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:08,674
Robin: Mom, I-I can't believe
you're here.
4
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:09,775
How did you get here?
5
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,010
On a plane.
6
00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:14,146
With your fear of flying?
What, did the plane drive here?
7
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,782
(laughs)
I've made enormous strides
8
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,884
Since you last saw me, dear.
9
00:00:18,886 --> 00:00:20,819
This is nice.
(chuckles)
10
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,855
I don't love flying,
I must admit.
11
00:00:22,857 --> 00:00:25,024
I haven't been on a
plane in years, but...
12
00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:26,959
Maybe this won't
be such a bad...
13
00:00:26,961 --> 00:00:28,961
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen,
we are cleared for takeoff.
14
00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:31,797
(screams)
we're all gonna die!
15
00:00:31,799 --> 00:00:33,732
We're all gonna die!
16
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,034
(screaming)
17
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:37,636
During the flight, I'll admit,
18
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:40,239
I-I had a few...
Difficult moments,
19
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:41,340
But, you know,
20
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,042
By the time we'd landed...
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00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:44,543
Here already.
22
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:48,914
Well, I have to say,
it wasn't so dreadful after all.
23
00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:52,051
Oh, I do apologize if
I caused any distress.
24
00:00:52,053 --> 00:00:55,320
And, oh, I'm terribly
sorry about the door.
25
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:58,891
I had no idea it would
fly off like that.
26
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:00,826
Please, please
send me a bill,
27
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,062
Because I'd like
to replace it.
28
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,565
I'll be taking the train home.
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00:01:06,589 --> 00:01:12,589
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com
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Well, it's official:
I'm gonna be
31
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,086
Judge marshall eriksen.
32
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,887
That is great.
33
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:31,123
Can you help me get
a driver's license?
34
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,925
A what?
35
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,359
Marshall, you, uh,
you don't sound
36
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,794
Too excited to
become a judge.
37
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,563
(sighs) I feel
kind of guilty about it.
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00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:40,132
I mean, I know how badly
lily wanted to move to Italy.
39
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,567
Don't do this, bro.
40
00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,135
Classic mistake.
41
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,636
You won-- enjoy it.
42
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:48,040
Drink the blood of your
vanquished enemy and move on.
43
00:01:48,042 --> 00:01:50,209
You're gonna be
a great husband.
44
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,877
No, no, wait,
he has a point.
45
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,812
I mean, you said yourself,
it was her decision.
46
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,414
Lily chose to
give up her job
47
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,749
And not move to rome
so you could be a judge.
48
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,118
Yeah, but something
seemed off.
49
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,453
We had this big fight
and she stormed out,
50
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:04,556
And when she came back, she had
totally, like, changed her mind.
51
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:05,624
Wait, what time
was this?
52
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,327
A little after 3:00 a.M.,
billy zabka. Why?
53
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,661
Well, last night,
I was out
54
00:02:09,663 --> 00:02:10,996
Doing some late-night
dirt-biking in the sand.
55
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:12,764
Naturally. Continue.
And I ended up
56
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,134
At that ez pick a few
miles up the road.
57
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,335
And, well...
58
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,744
That's odd.
59
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,080
Several people:
Boo...!
60
00:02:28,082 --> 00:02:30,682
You saw lily
getting into someone's car?
61
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:31,950
I wonder who it was.
62
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,952
What did
the license plate say?
63
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:35,354
It said...
64
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:37,089
"ahoy!!!"
65
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:39,591
The captain!
Lily's boss.
66
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,926
He has a house out here.
67
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,128
Wait, why was lily getting
into the captain's car
68
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,696
At 3:00 in the morning?
69
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,698
Guys...
70
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:50,302
I hate to even say this, but...
71
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,005
Do you think it's possible...
72
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,175
...That I could eat
six of these saltines
73
00:02:56,177 --> 00:02:57,776
In under a minute?
74
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,012
Challenge accepted!
75
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:03,682
Well, I can't wait
to meet this barney.
76
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,051
I haven't met him
already, have I?
77
00:03:06,053 --> 00:03:08,153
Because they said
after getting tasered,
78
00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:11,623
I might suffer from
short-term memory loss.
79
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,125
Oh, you'd remember
if you'd met barney.
80
00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:16,495
Why don't I see what
he's doing right now?
81
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,696
(phone ringing)
82
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,831
Barney's phone.
Ted, where's barney?
83
00:03:19,833 --> 00:03:20,899
He's trying to eat
84
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,367
Six saltines in
under a minute.
85
00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,070
Well, his future
mother-in-law is here.
86
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,305
Robin's mom is here.
87
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,074
And she wants to meet him.
88
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:29,975
She wants to meet you.
89
00:03:32,845 --> 00:03:35,047
He's kind of in the middle of a
saltine challenge at the moment.
90
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:39,685
But as soon as he's done,
he'll just, uh, pop right over.
91
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:40,919
All right. Good-bye.
92
00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,521
Robin:
The saltine challenge?
93
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,922
Now?
(lily chuckles)
94
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,524
It's his wedding day.
95
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,025
Guys do weird things
on their wedding day.
96
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:48,493
Well, on my wedding day,
97
00:03:48,495 --> 00:03:50,596
Robin's father
completely disappeared
98
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,030
For about three hours.
99
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:53,432
He just said,
"I've got to go
100
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:56,201
And teach somebody some
manners," and off he went.
101
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,069
And then
102
00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:58,370
Three hours later,
103
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,039
He emerged from the
woods with a dead elk
104
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,108
Slung across his shoulder.
105
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:07,246
And I didn't even know that
there were elk in bermuda.
106
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:08,180
But this barney--
107
00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:10,782
He sounds like a fine young man.
108
00:04:10,784 --> 00:04:12,084
Yes, he is.
109
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:13,986
We're going again.
110
00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:16,421
Marshall, are you okay?
111
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,889
Why did she get into
the captain's car,
112
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,024
And why didn't she
tell me about it?
113
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,892
Well, maybe it was
a work thing.
What? No.
114
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:22,027
She has a big
fight with me,
115
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,428
She goes down
to an ez pick,
116
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,730
She gets into
the captain's mercedes,
117
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:25,864
And then three
hours later,
118
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,366
She doesn't want to go
to Italy anymore?
119
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,101
I mean, do you
think this means...
120
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:30,969
That the captain moored
his dinghy in lily's lagoon?
121
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:31,970
Most definitely.
122
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,438
That's crazy.
123
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:34,973
You'd never moor a
dinghy in a lagoon.
124
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,041
I don't know, ted.
125
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,242
In certain
tidal conditions,
126
00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:38,443
If you had a
protected inlet...
127
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,045
Okay, you know what?
It doesn't matter.
128
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,446
Today is
barney's wedding.
129
00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,448
Let's just forget it.
130
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,951
Marshall...
131
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,053
Do you want to go over to
the captain's house right now,
132
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,454
Punch him in the face
really fast
133
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,290
And then come back
and do this wedding?
134
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,560
Would that be okay?
135
00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:56,962
Ranjit, get the car.
136
00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:58,797
Getting the car.
137
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,966
Baby, I can't wait
to meet your mom,
138
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,634
But I kind of got to go on
139
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,436
A little excursion
with the boys right now.
140
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,004
What?
Where are you going?
141
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,007
Me and the boys have to go
teach someone some manners.
142
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,646
Are there any elk
on long island?
143
00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,919
¶ my gallant
housekeeping crew ¶
144
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:21,920
¶ good morning.
145
00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,989
¶ sir! Good morning.
146
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,991
¶ I hope you are quite well.
147
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:28,427
¶ quite well, and you, sir?
148
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:29,995
¶ I am in reasonable health.
149
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,697
¶ and happy to meet you
all once... ¶
150
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:32,698
(doorbell rings)
151
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,433
Oh, bother it!
152
00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,500
I'll get it.
153
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,606
Ahoy, marshall!
154
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,075
(captain grunts)
155
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,981
Are you okay, robin?
No, I'm not okay,
156
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:52,217
Because apparently,
I am marrying my dad
157
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,618
In a few hours.
158
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,053
Oh, sweetie, no.
159
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,189
I'm sure that's not true.
160
00:05:57,191 --> 00:05:58,623
I mean, th-there's
so much
161
00:05:58,625 --> 00:05:59,958
You don't know
about your father.
162
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,160
There were... Oh, there
were so many other
163
00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:03,995
Red flags in our marriage.
164
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:05,197
I mean, for instance,
165
00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:06,198
Do you know that
166
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,066
Before he was engaged to me,
167
00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,902
He was engaged to marry
an exotic dancer?
168
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,704
Hello!
169
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:13,972
Red flag!
170
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:15,240
Lily:
Oh, genevieve,
171
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:16,241
Not good.
172
00:06:16,243 --> 00:06:18,543
And did you know
that one time,
173
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,078
To impress women,
174
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,514
He dressed up like
a prussian aristocrat,
175
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,182
Had a painting of himself made,
176
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:27,085
And posed next to it
in an art gallery?
177
00:06:27,087 --> 00:06:28,353
Can you imagine?
178
00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:30,822
Oh, that's a
rough one.
179
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,325
Darling, darling,
the list goes on.
180
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:36,528
He would always take
his mother's side in arguments.
181
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,864
He never checked with me
before making plans.
182
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:42,067
And our rehearsal dinner...
Oh, boy, did we have it out
183
00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,669
Right before our
rehearsal dinner!
184
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,573
Thank you, linus.
185
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:51,042
Genevieve:
For the first
186
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,778
Ten years I knew him,
187
00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,414
I didn't even know what
your father did for a living.
188
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:56,615
Every time I used
to ask him,
189
00:06:56,617 --> 00:06:58,116
He'd just say...
Please!
190
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,951
Yes, that's exactly
what he used to say.
191
00:06:59,953 --> 00:07:01,420
How did you know that?
192
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:04,222
Heck of a jab,
marshall.
193
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:05,357
Well-placed.
194
00:07:05,359 --> 00:07:06,358
Marshall:
Captain,
195
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,926
I know something happened
196
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,761
Between you and lily last night.
197
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,862
What?
198
00:07:10,864 --> 00:07:12,097
No. Nothing happened.
199
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,398
Captain's honor.
200
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,066
Well, you can ask my fiancée.
201
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,802
Fiancée?
What-what fiancée?
202
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:17,869
Captain.
203
00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,538
Permission to clear things up?
Granted.
204
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:20,705
Me.
205
00:07:20,707 --> 00:07:21,973
We're engaged.
206
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,442
It's "boats,
boats, boats"!
207
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,544
Ted, look!
Uh, yeah.
208
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,946
I mean, yeah, I know her
from that commercial.
209
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:28,947
Boats, boats, boats!
210
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,949
And only from
that commercial.
211
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,984
No, you
banged her.
212
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,119
Remember?
213
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,153
Like, a bunch
of times.
214
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,155
You knocked "boots,
boots, boots."
215
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,824
Marshall: All right, captain.
What the hell
216
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:39,991
Happened here
last night?
217
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,927
Well, it was just
after four bells.
218
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,061
(phone ringing)
219
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:43,962
Ahoy!
220
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,330
(choked up):
Hi, I-I know it's late,
221
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,965
But I've got to get out of here.
222
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,967
Captain: So I sent the car.
When she got here...
223
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,135
Lily, what a lovely...
224
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:51,970
Can I use your powder room?
225
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,939
And then she went
to the powder room.
226
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,440
She was in there
quite a while, actually.
227
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:57,442
Probably a deuce.
Go on.
228
00:07:57,444 --> 00:07:58,643
Captain:
And when she came out,
229
00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,945
She had to leave right away.
230
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:01,413
It was odd.
231
00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:03,648
But I assure you,
nothing inappropriate happened
232
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,083
Between me and your wife.
233
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,985
Captain, I understand
what you're saying,
234
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,154
But what you don't
understand is that
235
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,489
Lily is my wife,
236
00:08:10,491 --> 00:08:12,023
And I love her
way too much
237
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:12,991
To behave rationally
right now!
238
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,192
En garde!
239
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:18,163
This is the best
day of my life.
240
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,099
Oh, darling,
come on, no, no.
241
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:23,001
You're not marrying
your father.
242
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,436
I mean,
your father...
243
00:08:24,438 --> 00:08:26,438
I mean, let's just
put it this way.
244
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:28,373
Your father was
a sociopath.
245
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,976
He slept with
over 20 women.
246
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,978
And sure, you know,
247
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,312
We were friends
for years first
248
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,648
And it was entertaining
watching him lie
249
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,284
To those poor girls
to get inside their snow pants,
250
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:42,020
But I should have
known back then
251
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,356
This was not
husband material.
252
00:08:44,358 --> 00:08:45,957
I mean, even your
uncle jim, you know,
253
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,292
His gay black brother...
254
00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:48,693
Will you shut up!
255
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,297
Go for barney!
256
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:54,666
Your bride is freaking
the crap out right now.
257
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,067
Where the hell are you?
258
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:57,836
I warn you,
captain,
259
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:02,908
I've pretended to have a duel
with actual swords twice.
260
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,175
I warn you, marshall,
261
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,077
I was on the olympic
fencing team.
262
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,913
Won three gold medals.
263
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,581
I warn you, captain,
264
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,017
I'm starting to feel like
this was a mistake.
265
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,352
I think I'd better
not say where I am.
266
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,921
I am not kidding around here!
267
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,355
Tell me where you are!
268
00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:18,657
(sighs)
269
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,492
We're at the captain's house.
270
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:25,997
What is it?
What's wrong?
271
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:30,235
I am so busted.
272
00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,974
Thank you, linus.
273
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,680
You have another piece of gum?
274
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,919
Lily:
I can keep a secret.
275
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:50,088
I can keep a secret real good.
276
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,923
Are you chewing gum?
277
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,959
I can keep a secret
like nobody's business,
278
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,561
'cause it is nobody's business.
279
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:57,963
You never chew gum.
280
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,764
You shouldn't
chew gum in here.
281
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,033
'cause it's a secret,
and I'm keeping it!
282
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,768
Wait!
283
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:04,936
Stop the duel!
284
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:05,704
Oh, thank god.
285
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,938
I mean, why?
286
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,973
Ted:
Why?
287
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,741
Because I just solved
the mystery,
288
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:10,742
That's why.
289
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,111
Mosby boys!
290
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,982
We agreed you wouldn't
do that anymore.
291
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:19,551
Mystery? What mystery?
292
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,519
Lily has a secret.
293
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,889
She's hiding something,
294
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,292
And I know what it is.
295
00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,670
Okay, what is she hiding?
296
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:40,672
I'll tell you in a minute.
297
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:44,075
I want to enjoy the suspense
a little bit first.
298
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,045
Ooh.
299
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:59,157
Oh, my god, will
you just tell us!
300
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,161
Very well.
301
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,596
Now, we can all agree
302
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:06,931
That this is the first
time I've ever set foot
303
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,633
In this house, correct?
304
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,802
Oh, this is
going to be unbearable.
305
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,804
Now, captain, your powder room--
306
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,273
Does it face out
on the ocean?
307
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:17,375
Of course, right over the cliff.
308
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,543
Just as I suspected.
309
00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:19,944
And if I were to walk
310
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:22,113
Into this powder
room right now,
311
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,349
I believe I'd see a
potted plant of some sort.
312
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:25,650
Is that correct?
313
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,619
Yes. There's a daisy.
314
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:30,055
A daisy. Interesting.
315
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,490
Uh, not traditionally
an indoor plant,
316
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,627
But I suppose
it gets plenty of light
317
00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:37,328
With the southern exposure.
318
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,963
That's right, it does.
319
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:41,399
Will you please fetch the daisy?
320
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,468
Aye-aye.
321
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,237
I totally solved it.
322
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,539
You didn't solve it.
323
00:11:48,474 --> 00:11:50,375
You didn't solve it.
324
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:51,576
You didn't
solve it.
325
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,977
You didn't solve it.
326
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:54,979
Did you solve...?
No, you didn't solve it.
327
00:11:54,981 --> 00:11:56,981
I solved it!
328
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:58,216
Ah.
329
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,018
Thank you, captain.
330
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,087
Now...
331
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,322
A simple question.
332
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:07,926
When lily and marshall are apart
for an extended period of time,
333
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:11,496
What is the one thing
lily always does?
334
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,497
Cry?
335
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:13,765
Masturbate?
336
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:14,666
Karate?
337
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:15,700
Go sailing?
338
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,702
No.
339
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:20,004
When lily and marshall are apart
340
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:23,408
For a long period of time,
341
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,945
Lily... Always...
342
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:37,188
...Starts smoking again.
343
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:40,058
That's true, she does.
344
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,060
Happened when she went
to paris in college.
345
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:44,929
It happened when she moved
to san francisco, and last week,
346
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,098
It happened again.
347
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,300
From the moment marshall left
for minnesota,
348
00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,202
Lily's been secretly
puffing down the ciggies
349
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:54,205
Like a 46-year-old grandma
at a reno slot machine.
350
00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,474
Problem was,
come Friday morning,
351
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,577
She knew she'd have
to quit again, cold turkey.
352
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,546
And it wouldn't be easy.
353
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,414
She tried to make it
a whole car ride
354
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,716
Without a fix, but couldn't.
355
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,384
So, she pretended to be annoyed
356
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,387
By perfectly reasonable things,
like my stylish driving gloves
357
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:12,957
And my appreciation of the
historic van otterloop manse.
358
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:18,596
All so she could have
one last smoke on the train.
359
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,965
But afterwards,
her breath told the tale.
360
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,968
And that's why,
when she got to the hotel,
361
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,970
Lily...
362
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,973
Was chewing... Gum.
363
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,175
Lily never chews gum.
364
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:31,109
What? Never?
365
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,177
Well, hardly ever.
366
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,912
Great job, ted.
367
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,581
That's some pretty
solid evidence. Gum.
368
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:40,118
(laughing):
Oh, barney, my dear boy.
369
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,519
I'm just getting started.
370
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:42,954
Getting started?
371
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,122
Ted:
Lily knew that cigarette
372
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,623
Was probably her last
for a while.
373
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,625
She needed something
to keep her nerves calm,
374
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,194
So she headed to the bar.
375
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,830
Anytime you see me
without a drink in my hand,
376
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:53,932
You put a drink in my hand.
377
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:56,968
Are you my guy, linus?
378
00:13:56,970 --> 00:14:00,038
Ted: What followed was
a long day and a half for lily.
379
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,006
A really long day and a half.
380
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,641
Oh, it's kind of insane
381
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,810
How much happened
in just a day and a half.
382
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,645
Anyway, marshall returned,
383
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:11,049
They had a big fight,
lily stormed out.
384
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,150
And that's when she realized,
385
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,985
If she was gonna sneak one
this weekend,
386
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:15,320
This was her chance.
387
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:18,022
And after that fight,
boy, did she need one.
388
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:21,226
Only problem: She was all out.
389
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,627
Now,
390
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:23,728
It's 3:00 a.M.,
391
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,129
You need a cigarette,
392
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,531
And the only place
that's open is an ez pick
393
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,966
That's five miles down the road.
394
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:28,967
You have no car.
395
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,835
What do you do? Go.
396
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:31,803
Dirt-bike it.
397
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:32,871
I can walk that far.
398
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:33,838
Masturbate.
399
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:34,839
Take a boat.
400
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:37,342
What? A boat? No.
401
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,577
Dude, she got a ride
in your car, remember?
402
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,045
(phone ringing)
403
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:42,213
Ahoy.
404
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,214
Hi. I-I know it's late,
405
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,716
But I've got to get out of here.
406
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,718
I want to make
one stop first.
407
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,388
Ted:
The problem was,
408
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:53,157
Lily didn't want to smoke
in front of her new employer.
409
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:54,525
So, when she arrived
410
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,427
At the captain's house,
there was only one
411
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,595
Possible course of action.
412
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,097
Can I use your powder room?
413
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:03,368
Ted:
Now,
414
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,202
You're lily.
415
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,536
You've just had a cigarette
416
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:06,738
In your boss's powder room.
417
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,406
What do you do
with the cigarette butt?
418
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,108
Throw it out the window?
Flush it?
419
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,609
No, she-she wouldn't do
either of those things.
420
00:15:11,611 --> 00:15:12,944
She's an environmentalist.
421
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,012
Stick it in your purse?
422
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,113
Marshall could find it there.
423
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,347
Throw it in the trash can.
424
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:17,916
The captain would
find it there.
425
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:19,684
Hide it in a boat.
426
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,519
A boat? Wait.
How would that...
427
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:22,720
I don't know.
428
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,123
I just... I like boats.
429
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:28,293
No.
430
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,762
There's only one place
that she would put it.
431
00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:32,764
A place where, eventually,
432
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,867
It would decompose and serve
as a natural mulch.
433
00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:38,903
It's in the daisy.
434
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:40,905
And sure enough,
435
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,041
If I dig around...
436
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:46,711
I am all but guaranteed
to find...
437
00:15:48,714 --> 00:15:50,114
A pregnancy test.
438
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:54,052
You could smoke those?
439
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,627
(vomiting)
440
00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:06,564
(panting)
441
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:10,001
Oh, no.
442
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:11,569
So, you want
the kennedy package?
443
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:12,837
Bingo.
444
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,141
One other little thing.
445
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,310
When you do put a drink
in my hand,
446
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,312
Let's make it non-alcoholic.
447
00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,648
There's a chance
I might be pregnant.
448
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:24,949
Okay, linus,
449
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:27,785
Don't start popping
the sparkling cider just yet.
450
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:30,021
I'm just being cautious.
451
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:31,923
I'll take a test
when I get home.
452
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,591
It can wait.
453
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:36,995
Are marvin and I
and any other future children
454
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:38,029
We may have
455
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:40,131
Just some consolation prize?
456
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,200
I have to get out of here.
457
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:47,538
¶
458
00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,774
(sighs)
it can't wait.
459
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:54,178
¶
460
00:16:55,881 --> 00:16:56,814
Lily, what a lovely...
461
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:59,384
Can I use your powder room?
462
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:03,054
¶
463
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:06,290
Two minutes. Here we go.
464
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:11,429
¶
465
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,735
Guys, we need to go back
to the hotel.
466
00:17:19,738 --> 00:17:21,939
Lily peed on that,
and you touched it.
467
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:24,475
Lily?
468
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:29,047
We're gonna have a baby?
469
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:35,119
I told you guys
I could keep a secret.
470
00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:40,091
Uh, uh, barney,
this-this is my mom.
471
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,060
Hi.
Hello.
472
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,027
Oh.
473
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,228
Oh, he's a hugger.
474
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:45,496
Nothing like your dad.
475
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,065
(laughs)
476
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,233
I'm sorry. I-I was
gonna tell you tonight.
477
00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:51,035
No. Oh, my god, no. It's fine.
478
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:52,870
There's just...
There's so much we have to do.
479
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,406
You know, we have to, um...
We have to do research on...
480
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,241
Uh, hospitals in Italy,
and we have to, uh...
481
00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,110
We're not going to Italy.
482
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:00,978
Of course we are.
483
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,047
Lily, we have to do this.
484
00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,415
You're gonna live in rome,
485
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,617
And you're gonna get your dream,
because...
486
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,953
Because you're giving me mine.
487
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,422
Again.
488
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,257
But there's gonna be
all sorts of paperwork,
489
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,526
And-and if she's born outside
of the u.S.,
490
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,061
She could never
become president.
491
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,230
It's a girl?
492
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:22,433
Oh. I don't know, but...
493
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,769
In my mind,
I kind of think she is.
494
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:25,870
Oh.
495
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:27,438
I love you so much.
496
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,941
Mmm.
497
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:32,009
We're gonna give you
some privacy.
498
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,481
It's my room. Why
do I have to...?
499
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,015
Just... Come on.
500
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,954
I thought this was
an exit.
No, balcony.
501
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:44,088
Ah. Oh.
502
00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:46,257
Well, we'll just give them
a few minutes, and then...
503
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,759
Mm-hmm.
...We'll go
back in and...
504
00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:50,094
Oh.
505
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:52,396
Oh, they are both naked.
506
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:53,631
Yeah, they work fast.
507
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:55,666
Yes. (sighs)
508
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,668
Oh, darling.
509
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,670
Oh, you're going
to be fine.
510
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:01,906
You know, for every marriage
in the world
511
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,941
Like I had with your dad,
you know, there's...
512
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,811
There's a marriage
like those two in there.
513
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,946
And, oh, marriage is...
514
00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:10,281
Oh, it's terrifying.
515
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,949
It's-it's like flying.
516
00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:15,153
You know, you're-you're filled
with this mortal dread,
517
00:19:15,155 --> 00:19:17,622
But if you find someone
you feel safe with,
518
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:20,925
It's like flying!
519
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:24,962
But if you got someone that you
feel is really there for you,
520
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,031
Someone you can depend on,
521
00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:29,500
You're gonna be fine.
522
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:37,508
Do you have someone
like that?
523
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,577
I do.
524
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,929
...Daisy.
525
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,198
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