1
00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:04,503
Narrator:
Kids, it's not always rational,
but people on their wedding day

2
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,372
<i>Sometimes find themselves</i>
<i>panicking</i>

3
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:08,607
<i>About whether</i>
<i>they've made the best choice.</i>

4
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:09,975
I have a better
tie at home!

5
00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:12,144
It's cornflower blue.
It's cornflower blue!

6
00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:15,481
Narrator:
<i>But lucky for barney,</i>
<i>he was marrying a rock.</i>

7
00:00:15,483 --> 00:00:17,116
I can't go through
with this wedding.

8
00:00:21,821 --> 00:00:23,856
Last year, when you helped
victoria escape this church,

9
00:00:23,858 --> 00:00:25,858
How hard was it
to climb down that drainpipe?

10
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,026
Extremely hard.

11
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,460
Okay, so that means
super easy. Thanks.

12
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,661
Wait, wait.
Stop, stop.

13
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:31,063
What the hell
are you doing?

14
00:00:31,065 --> 00:00:32,664
I just... I can't
go through with this!

15
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,566
No, no. Sorry. I
refuse to be a part

16
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:35,901
Of a third runaway
bride situation.

17
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,703
It's like the dude

18
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:39,638
In that documentary who kept
having women show up dead

19
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At the bottom of his staircase.

20
00:00:41,008 --> 00:00:42,207
Sure, maybe they all tripped,
but it's like,

21
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,909
Do you want
to hang out with that guy?

22
00:00:43,911 --> 00:00:46,145
Gonna think I'm insane, but...

23
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:49,915
I still think that it's a bad
sign I never found that locket.

24
00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:01,026
Some part of me thought that
barney would magically find it.

25
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:02,194
I know.

26
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,562
I know that's unfair of me

27
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To expect that, but... You know,
I want to be with a guy

28
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:09,234
Who comes through for me,
you know?

29
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The guy who,

30
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:13,605
Somehow, against all odds,

31
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Finds my locket.

32
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:19,211
Okay, just, um...
Just calm down, stay put.

33
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,114
Uh, I'm-I'm gonna go
get you some water, okay?

34
00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:41,136
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
PSArips.com

35
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Uh, listen,
I have something for you,

36
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But before I give it to you,

37
00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:58,317
I just want to make sure
you're okay.

38
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:00,052
I was freaking out
a little earlier,

39
00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:02,654
But lily and marshall
calmed me down. I'm okay.

40
00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,923
Good, good.
So, robin's a little nervous.

41
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,458
Nervous? Why is she nervous?

42
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,893
I'm not nervous! Who's nervous?!

43
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,328
No one needs to be nervous!

44
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:12,131
Cornflower blue, ted.
Cornflower blue!

45
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,200
First off, kudos to marshall
and lily for calming you down.

46
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:20,739
Second, do you...
You remember robin's locket?

47
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:22,341
Yeah, of course.

48
00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:24,076
She never found it.

49
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,981
Whoa. How did you...?

50
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,682
I never told you about it
because I was afraid

51
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:31,950
You'd take it the wrong way,

52
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,252
But I actually wound up
tracking it down.

53
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,821
It's a long story.

54
00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:38,323
I was gonna give it to robin
as a surprise,

55
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:41,460
But... She needs it
to come from you.

56
00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,629
Ted, I don't know.

57
00:02:43,631 --> 00:02:45,531
Take it. Please.

58
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,533
How'd you find it?

59
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,535
I didn't find it.

60
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,537
You found it.

61
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,741
¶ ¶

62
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:03,015
Hey.
Hey.

63
00:03:03,017 --> 00:03:04,349
What you writing?

64
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,118
Um, it's my wedding day.

65
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,452
What do you think I'm writing?

66
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:08,453
Suicide note?

67
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,622
Hey-yo! (laughs)

68
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,191
Oh, god, is it
a suicide note?

69
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,359
Oh, my god,
how many pills did you take?

70
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,994
Quick. How do we
make him vomit?

71
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,163
Uh, remind him
he's getting married.
Hey-yo!

72
00:03:18,165 --> 00:03:19,965
(laughs)
wait. Now I'm confused.

73
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,533
Are you dying?

74
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,135
I'm writing my vows to robin,

75
00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:25,737
But I want them to be profound
and inspiring,

76
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,906
As if they were written
by the bard himself,

77
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Lionel richie.

78
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,644
Until right before the wedding
to compose them?

79
00:03:32,646 --> 00:03:33,845
I didn't.
I've been trying

80
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,480
To get these
right for weeks.
Oh.

81
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:37,082
This is a lot of vows.

82
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Vow-za.

83
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,153
I'll say it again. Vow-za.

84
00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:42,854
Are you really gonna
read all of these?

85
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,923
Yeah, uh, wouldn't it be better
to project them

86
00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,158
As a vowerpoint presentation?

87
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,093
(clicks tongue)
say it again. Vowerpoint...

88
00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:50,229
I know it's a lot,
but I-I don't

89
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,598
Want to screw up
this wedding thing.

90
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,167
"I vow to love you
forever unconditionally,

91
00:03:55,169 --> 00:03:58,003
"unless you pudge out,
in which case

92
00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:01,039
I'm a barney-shaped
hole in the wall."

93
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,041
"I vow to start watching
hockey with you..."

94
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,009
Oh, that one's sweet.

95
00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,777
I know how much
you hate hockey.

96
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:07,012
"...Once a month."

97
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,513
But it's still
a nice gesture.

98
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,082
"no. Once a year.
No. Hockey's dumb.

99
00:04:10,084 --> 00:04:12,017
"not watching it, and
neither are you, woman.

100
00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:12,918
Now make me
french toast."

101
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,653
I'll put this in
the maybe pile.

102
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:17,889
Look, if you're
having trouble,

103
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,691
You've got two expert
vow consultants

104
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,426
Standing right
in front of you.

105
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,462
Yeah. We can show
you vow it's done.

106
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,531
Say it again.
Vow it's done...

107
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,067
We're just not
enjoying them, honey.

108
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I am not gonna take
marriage advice from a couple

109
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Who just got
in a gigantic fight.

110
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I'm doing fine on my own.

111
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,375
No, you're not.

112
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:40,078
All of these vows are selfish
and way too easy to keep.

113
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,648
Wedding vows need
to be real commitments,

114
00:04:42,650 --> 00:04:43,949
Like our vows.

115
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,150
Poppycock!

116
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,451
What are you
talking about?

117
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,654
I remember
your precious wedding vows,

118
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:51,957
And I guarantee you've broken
every single one of them.

119
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,425
Vow dare you!

120
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:54,493
Just stop.

121
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:57,596
I can't.
It's invowluntary.

122
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,464
(knocking)
yeah.

123
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,266
Hey. You asked for me?

124
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,201
Look what barney
just gave me.

125
00:05:04,737 --> 00:05:06,138
No way!

126
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,440
See? Barney came through.

127
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,908
There's your sign.

128
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,310
You're good to go.

129
00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:13,145
Where'd you find
the locket, ted?

130
00:05:21,087 --> 00:05:22,487
Where did you find the locket?

131
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,323
Me? Why-why are you asking me?

132
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,091
Barney found it. Ask him.

133
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,693
What, you lost a locket?

134
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,995
Barney wouldn't tell me
how he found it,

135
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,764
Which made me realize
it had to be you.

136
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,766
(laughs):
Okay.

137
00:05:34,768 --> 00:05:36,802
I'll embarrass him.

138
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,970
Your fiancé got a metal detector

139
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:42,007
And scoured a 10,000-square-foot
grid around that carousel.

140
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,975
Guess where he found it.

141
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,445
The nest of a mama pigeon.

142
00:05:46,447 --> 00:05:49,281
(laughs): Barney had to wrestle
it away from four baby pigeons.

143
00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:51,049
But here's where the story
gets bittersweet.

144
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:54,119
I lied. Barney said it was
in marshall and lily's basement.

145
00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:57,789
But do you still want to finish
your little pigeon story?

146
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,725
The mama pigeon gets killed
by a cab.

147
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,060
Barney still goes back
to the park every day

148
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,795
To feed the babies. The end.

149
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,798
Tell me the truth.

150
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,835
Okay, I-I tracked it down,

151
00:06:09,837 --> 00:06:12,037
And I gave it to barney
to give to you.

152
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,538
Honestly, it was no big deal.

153
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,639
How did you find it?

154
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,008
Psh. How does anybody
find anything?

155
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,243
<i>You hear it might be in your</i>

156
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,544
<i>Race car pencil box.</i>
<i>It's not there.</i>

157
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,812
<i>So you swing by</i>
<i>your ex-fiancée's</i>

158
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:21,880
<i>Storage locker</i>
<i>on the opposite coast.</i>

159
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:22,914
<i>It's not there.</i>

160
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,583
<i>You learn victoria has it</i>
<i>in germany,</i>

161
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,251
<i>But jeanette intercepts it,</i>
<i>throws it in central park lake.</i>

162
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,019
<i>It's a nice day for a swim,</i>
<i>so what the heck?</i>

163
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,855
<i>You dive in, scoop it up, make</i>
<i>it home in time for</i> jeopardy!

164
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:30,989
Ease to the pease.
Happy wedding.

165
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,929
You're seriously questioning
our wedding vows?

166
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:40,265
Us? Uh, we're adorable.

167
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:43,201
We're marshmallow
and lilypad, bitch.

168
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:45,070
Okay, I'll give you this.

169
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,906
Your little pre-wedding
wedding out by the tree--

170
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,208
<i>You said some very sweet stuff.</i>

171
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,244
<i>Hell, ted even cried.</i>

172
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:53,044
(scoffs)

173
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,146
Ted.

174
00:06:55,114 --> 00:06:57,449
But later,
at the actual wedding...

175
00:06:57,451 --> 00:06:59,017
Lily aldrin,

176
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:02,721
I vow to be there for you
in sickness and in health.

177
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:04,089
Hate to tell you, lilypad,

178
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:05,957
But marshall has since
confessed to me

179
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,026
That en route
to your honeymoon...

180
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:10,429
(retching):
Oh. Oh, god.

181
00:07:12,398 --> 00:07:14,099
(snoring)

182
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,967
You son of a beech.
You son of a beech.

183
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,335
Do you deny it?

184
00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:20,739
Lily, you know
I'm not a vomit guy,

185
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,407
And I just thought
I should give you your space.

186
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:23,742
Like a dying cat.

187
00:07:23,744 --> 00:07:25,043
Oh, yeah, that saves it.

188
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:26,244
I'm so sorry I let you down.

189
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,313
Hang on there,
marshmallow.

190
00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,882
Remember when
the blushing bride said...

191
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:34,085
I vow to honor and respect you.

192
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,555
Maybe she was blushing because
she was lying her ass off.

193
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:38,056
Not two months later...

194
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,825
Shh.
Okay. Okay.

195
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,095
Hey, not cool!

196
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:47,666
You will not take a picture
of my husband like that!

197
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:50,669
(laughter)

198
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:51,937
(camera clicks)

199
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,238
Marshall:
<i>You took part</i>

200
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,740
In the bearded wonder woman
incident of 2007?

201
00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:58,143
Lily, that photo got
all over friendster

202
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:02,047
And myspace and... Man,
2007 was a long time ago.

203
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,115
Ted, I can't believe

204
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,251
How much trouble you went
through to get this for me.

205
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,953
It really wasn't
that much trouble.

206
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,087
Yes, it was.

207
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,923
You always go big for me.

208
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:13,859
Not as big as barney.

209
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,994
Canadian rehearsal dinner
on ice-- big.

210
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,029
The way he proposed-- huge.

211
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:18,997
Yeah, but think about it.

212
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,465
Those are the most loving things

213
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,133
That barney has ever done
for me,

214
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,301
And they're all based on lies.

215
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,604
Right down to taking
credit for this locket.

216
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:26,972
That's not fair.

217
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,106
I told barney
to take credit for it.

218
00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,008
Which he did
without blinking an eye.

219
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:30,942
Because lying

220
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,544
Is second nature to barney.

221
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:33,845
Everything's legendary.

222
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,280
You know what "legendary" means?

223
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,681
Not real.

224
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,817
I mean,
the man's initials are "b.S."

225
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:42,220
If it helps, I'm pretty sure
barney stinson's a fake name.

226
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,523
I'm kidding.

227
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:47,959
You're the one who always
comes through for me, ted.

228
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,562
The one who's there for me.

229
00:08:51,797 --> 00:08:53,999
Maybe I'm making a mistake.

230
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:56,735
Wait. What-what are you saying?

231
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,639
Maybe I should be marrying you.

232
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:04,709
Wait. I know one vow we kept.

233
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:08,914
I vow to make you breakfast
in bed every Sunday morning.

234
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:09,915
Really? You still do that?

235
00:09:09,917 --> 00:09:12,384
Absolutely.

236
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:15,020
(baby crying)

237
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:17,088
Marshall:
Heads up!

238
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:21,059
Oh! No cream cheese?

239
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:24,162
Oh.

240
00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:26,498
Barney:
<i>Oh!</i>

241
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:28,366
You feed her like sloth
from<i> goonies.</i>

242
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,068
So the magic's still there.

243
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,236
Well, here's one

244
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,238
You definitely didn't keep.

245
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:37,108
I vow to keep
the romantic spark alive.

246
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,444
And how is that going
for you these days?

247
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:40,946
Marshall:
Are you watching marvin?

248
00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,347
I'm trimming my nose hair.

249
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,782
Lily:
I'm dumping out.

250
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:45,517
I watched him
all morning, lily.

251
00:09:45,519 --> 00:09:46,851
I need a break.

252
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:48,920
I don't control when my
deuces happen, marshall.

253
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,956
Deuces are wild!

254
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:53,058
(laughing)

255
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,225
Ted,

256
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:56,394
I should be with you.

257
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,263
Narrator:
<i>There it was-- the words</i>

258
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:01,032
<i>That some deep, dark part of me</i>
<i>always wanted to hear.</i>

259
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,233
<i>But it's funny.</i>

260
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:04,369
<i>Once you actually</i>
<i>hear those words out loud...</i>

261
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,104
I don't want to hear that.

262
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,238
We should get out of here.

263
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,075
You and me right now.
We'll...

264
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,876
We'll move to chicago.
W-we'll start a new life.

265
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,044
It'll-it'll be painful
at first,

266
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,412
But, hell, I can root
for the blackhawks.

267
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:15,780
Stop! Stop!

268
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,882
You're just saying this
because you're scared.

269
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:20,418
I am not your
future. Barney is.

270
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,989
Shouldn't I be with the guy
who finds me my locket?

271
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:27,092
The guy who steals me
the blue french horn.

272
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,060
I mean, look me in the eye
and tell me,

273
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,729
Why shouldn't I be
with that guy?

274
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:33,832
Because I'm not that guy
anymore.

275
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:37,302
Then why did you work so hard
to find me my locket?

276
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,137
It... It was a wedding gift.

277
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,072
Ted, stop it, okay?
I know you better than that.

278
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,008
This is more
than a wedding gift.

279
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,311
Maybe it started out that way.
Maybe some part of me thought...

280
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:48,947
That you still loved me.

281
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,181
Maybe.

282
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,017
But the truth is...

283
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,918
I don't love you
like that anymore.

284
00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,154
And you don't love me.

285
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,355
You love barney.

286
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,823
And if you think

287
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:01,926
I would ever be part
of screwing that up,

288
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,929
Then maybe you don't know me
at all, robin.

289
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:06,498
(groans)

290
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,133
I... I can't shake it.

291
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,001
I-I can't shake this feeling

292
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,304
That nothing about me and barney
makes any sense.

293
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,540
But love doesn't make sense.

294
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:16,675
I mean, you can't

295
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:18,677
Logic your way into
or out of it.

296
00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:22,514
Love is totally nonsensical,
but we have to keep doing it

297
00:11:22,516 --> 00:11:25,517
Or else we're lost
and-and love is dead

298
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,786
And humanity
should just pack it in.

299
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:30,622
Because love is
the best thing we do.

300
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:35,060
Look, I know that sounds cheesy,
but it's-it's just true.

301
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:38,997
You love barney,
and-and he loves you.

302
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:41,733
And that doesn't
have to make sense

303
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:43,568
To make sense.

304
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:50,075
Remember back when you had
never even seen me pee?

305
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,077
Yeah.
Yeah.

306
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,812
Oh, sorry.

307
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,080
We were so innocent then.

308
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,715
So many dreams.

309
00:11:56,717 --> 00:11:58,483
Trying to work over here.

310
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,051
Bright, shimmering future ahead.

311
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,054
Now we're basically
a couple of wild animals

312
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,557
Grunting at each other
to throw some toilet paper

313
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,992
Through the crack
in the bathroom door.

314
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,561
Baby, let's be honest.

315
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:14,099
At this point,
that door is wide open.

316
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,067
You know what you should use
the next time you run out

317
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,902
Of toilet paper?
Your wedding vows.

318
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,237
'cause that's all
your marriage has been,

319
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:21,673
One long six-year wipe

320
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:24,008
After that double-flusher
of a wedding.

321
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:25,610
Stinson out!

322
00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:29,013
You okay?

323
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,115
Yeah.

324
00:12:30,117 --> 00:12:31,950
You're right.
I'm-I'm being insane.

325
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:33,118
Oh, come on, robin.

326
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,020
That's... Accurate.

327
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,088
(chuckles)

328
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,757
We can't run away together.

329
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:40,759
(chuckles)
of course not.

330
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,994
So I'm just gonna run away
alone!

331
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:48,967
(panting)

332
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:51,970
Damn it.

333
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,072
(panting)

334
00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,406
(yelps) whoa!

335
00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:58,176
Narrator:<i> And that's how robin</i>
<i>met your mother.</i>

336
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:06,284
Wait, what are
we doing here?

337
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,720
Lily, our-our
wedding vows,

338
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:11,222
Maybe they were just too
perfect for real life.

339
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,992
Real life is messier
than that, and...

340
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:16,928
We're different people
than we were in 2007.

341
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,096
But that's okay.

342
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:20,932
Maybe we just need
some updated vows.

343
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,600
So I thought maybe
before this place

344
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:26,738
Gets too busy, we could...
Borrow this altar for a minute.

345
00:13:30,242 --> 00:13:32,243
Lily aldrin,

346
00:13:32,245 --> 00:13:36,114
I vow to stop shouting stuff
at you when you're dumping out.

347
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,415
You're the love
of my life,

348
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:40,185
And you deserve
to make a deuce in peace.

349
00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,088
I vow to stop pointing out
every dog erection we see

350
00:13:44,090 --> 00:13:45,690
When we walk through the park,

351
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,092
Even though they are
incredibly weird looking.

352
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,595
Oh, just don't point and scream
"maybe it's maybelline."

353
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,499
Marshall eriksen,
I vow to always tell you

354
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:57,001
When you have green stuff
in your teeth.

355
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,003
You have green stuff
in your teeth.

356
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:00,271
Oh.
(chuckles)

357
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:03,942
I vow to always sit next to you
and hug you,

358
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,110
Even if you're covered in vomit,

359
00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:06,945
Whether it's yours

360
00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,947
Or marvin's or--

361
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:12,016
In the case of what came to be
known as spew year's eve 1998--

362
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,619
My own. Sorry.

363
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,321
I vow to stop getting
so angry...

364
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,355
Ooh, I just thought of
another one.

365
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,389
...When you interrupt me.

366
00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,058
Mine was to interrupt you less,

367
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,426
So that's good.

368
00:14:23,028 --> 00:14:24,529
I vow...

369
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:27,832
To finally stop petitioning
paul mccartney

370
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,835
To let weird al record
"chicken pot pie"

371
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:34,072
To the tune of
"live and let die."

372
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,907
It's over.

373
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:37,342
I'll let it go.

374
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,544
I vow...

375
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,714
To cry less
during this pregnancy.

376
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,183
I vow to cry less
during this vikings season.

377
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:48,019
Mm, with that secondary,
I wouldn't make that promise.

378
00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:51,389
I vow to keep at least 80%
of these vows.

379
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,157
That seems high.

380
00:14:53,159 --> 00:14:56,394
And I vow to keep updating them
as we go.

381
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,097
Because one set of vows,

382
00:14:59,099 --> 00:15:02,033
It can't cover a lifetime
of growing

383
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,235
And changing with you,

384
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,005
Of raising children with you...

385
00:15:08,340 --> 00:15:11,910
...Falling more and more in love
with you every day,

386
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:14,946
Lily aldrin,
which is what I vow to do

387
00:15:14,948 --> 00:15:16,915
For the rest of my life.

388
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:21,052
Crap. I already broke
my crying vow.

389
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:22,854
I'll forgive you.

390
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,766
I am so sorry.
Are you okay?
Oh...

391
00:15:34,768 --> 00:15:36,567
That was
totally my fault.

392
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,269
No. The bride is always right.
It was my fault.

393
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,404
Are you okay?

394
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,406
I'm fine.

395
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:43,875
Are you sure?

396
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:45,443
Because you
were sprinting

397
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:47,712
From a church
in a wedding dress.

398
00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:48,980
And as a kid,

399
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,949
I was a bit of a detective...

400
00:15:50,951 --> 00:15:51,983
(chuckles):
So...

401
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:54,319
Um...

402
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:56,988
To be honest,
I'm-I'm wondering if this...

403
00:15:56,990 --> 00:16:00,792
Whole getting married thing is
something I can go through with.

404
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:03,261
Oh.

405
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,930
Wow.

406
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,166
That's it?

407
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:10,335
Aren't you supposed
to talk me out of it?

408
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:13,271
Tell me it's just cold feet?
I'm-I'm being crazy?

409
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,007
Okay, during that fall, we did
kind of get to second base

410
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,675
With each other--
and we'll always share that--

411
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,178
But I don't really know you.

412
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,479
So...

413
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,814
Here's all I'll say:

414
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:24,082
When I'm overwhelmed,

415
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:25,984
I force myself
to do one simple thing

416
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,486
Before I have to make
a decision:

417
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:32,857
Close my eyes
and take three deep breaths.

418
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:35,193
Three deep breaths.
Mm-hmm.

419
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:38,896
Sometimes even three deep
breaths can change everything.

420
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:51,943
(breathing deeply)

421
00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:03,154
Barney?

422
00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,956
Hey, I've been looking
for you. You okay?

423
00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:07,959
Uh... Yeah.
I-I was just talking to the...

424
00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:11,529
The band about the...
Thing with the stuff.

425
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,231
What are those?

426
00:17:13,233 --> 00:17:14,399
My vows.

427
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,468
I-I know it's bad luck
to see the bride

428
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,471
Right before the ceremony,
but I realized something.

429
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,341
Marshall and lily have broken
most of their wedding vows,

430
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,076
But they're still
the best couple I know.

431
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,078
I think their biggest problem

432
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,680
Was that marshall
didn't tell lily the truth.

433
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:32,116
So...

434
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:36,988
I've decided to make
only one vow to you,

435
00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:41,025
Because it's the only one
that really counts.

436
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,994
Robin scherbatsky...

437
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:46,497
...From this day forward,

438
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:49,133
I am always gonna be honest
with you.

439
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,936
'cause I love you.

440
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:54,739
I'll see you up there.

441
00:17:55,441 --> 00:17:58,276
Oh.

442
00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:00,111
Ted got that locket for you.

443
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:02,246
He's the one you should thank.

444
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:07,118
Barney, wait.

445
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:21,632
(pachelbel's canon in d playing)

446
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:26,971
(quietly):
What is it?

447
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,906
The cornflower blue tie.

448
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:30,541
That's the one
I should be wearing.

449
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,945
It's right by my bed.
Back in manhattan.

450
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,114
Stall for me. I'll be back
in six hours, tops.

451
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:41,052
That's all of 'em!

452
00:18:41,054 --> 00:18:42,253
Wow.

453
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,154
Wait.

454
00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:44,956
I'm free.

455
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,791
It's over.

456
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:49,961
The slap bet is finally... Over?

457
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,096
Yeah, it is, buddy.

458
00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,332
(exhales)
thank you.

459
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,437
You know, this
may sound crazy,

460
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,105
But I'm gonna miss
that slap bet.

461
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:02,773
No, you won't.
No, you're
right. I won't.

462
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,042
(handel's "hornpipe"
from<i> water music</i> playing)

463
00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:26,831
Hi.

464
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:27,999
Hi.

465
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:30,868
You've never looked
more beautiful, robin.

466
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,037
Nobody asked you, patrice.

467
00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:34,639
By the way,

468
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:38,509
In the interest of honesty,
we really do have a ring bear.

469
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,777
What?

470
00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:46,317
Oh. I love
the ring bear.

471
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:49,720
Then you are gonna love
the flower gorilla.

472
00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:51,189
What?
Kidding. I'm kidding.

473
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,057
(chuckles)

474
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:54,125
(clears throat)

475
00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:01,465
¶ if I ever
were to lose you... ¶

476
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:03,734
Narrator:
<i>Kids, I won't lie,</i>

477
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,403
<i>That was a long weekend.</i>

478
00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:09,907
<i>More ups and downs</i>
<i>than I can count.</i>

479
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:14,912
¶ I've not found by myself... ¶

480
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,914
<i>It was a twisting,</i>

481
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:19,517
<i>Turning road that led</i>
<i>to the end of the aisle,</i>

482
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:23,154
<i>And not everything</i>
<i>along the way was perfect.</i>

483
00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:24,722
<i>To be honest,</i>

484
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,991
<i>Not everything to follow</i>
<i>would be perfect either.</i>

485
00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:29,026
<i>But what is?</i>

486
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,028
<i>Here's the secret, kids:</i>

487
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:34,565
<i>None of us can vow</i>
<i>to be perfect.</i>

488
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,501
<i>In the end, all we can do</i>
<i>is promise to love each other</i>

489
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:39,003
<i>With everything we've got.</i>

490
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:43,007
¶ 'cause I can see ¶

491
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,109
¶ our future days... ¶

492
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:47,578
<i>Because love's</i>
<i>the best thing we do.</i>

493
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:51,415
¶ days of you and me... ¶

494
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,287
<i>And on that lovely</i>
<i>spring evening,</i>

495
00:20:56,289 --> 00:21:00,091
<i>That's exactly what barney</i>
<i>and robin vowed to each other.</i>

496
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:03,160
<i>And it was legendary.</i>

