1
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:06,672
So?
(whispers): No.
2
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:08,474
No. You-you were in.
3
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,175
I said, "have you met ted"
and everything.
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,844
How could that not work?
I don't know,
5
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:13,779
We introduced ourselves,
I bought her a drink,
6
00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:15,047
Told her I loved her...
7
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,715
What?
I'm kidding.
8
00:00:16,717 --> 00:00:18,684
Hold on, roxanne.
9
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,286
You played "have you met ted"
without me?
10
00:00:21,288 --> 00:00:23,622
In mbar with my ted?
11
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:27,893
Maybe stealing a bro's wingman
is okay back in...
12
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:31,330
I'm sorry, what's the name of
this third world banana republic
13
00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:32,898
You claim to be from?
14
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:35,534
Canada.
15
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:38,003
I have literally
never heard of that place.
16
00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,638
When'd you move
here, anyway?
17
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,672
Two months ago.
18
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:41,840
How do you like it?
Honestly,
19
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:43,475
It-it's been
a little tough.
20
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:46,478
I moved here for this on-air
reporter job at metro news 1
21
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,313
Thinking it was gonna
be my big break,
22
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:49,381
Only to find out
23
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:51,016
That our viewership
mostly consists
24
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:52,251
Of dmv waiting rooms
25
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,386
And people plugging in their
tv for the first time.
26
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,421
(chuckles)
27
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:58,057
To top it all off,
I have no friends.
28
00:00:58,992 --> 00:01:01,560
Um... Wrong.
29
00:01:01,562 --> 00:01:02,928
You have four friends
right here.
30
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,064
Right, guys?
Uh, yeah.
31
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:06,899
You're totally in our gang,
now. And once you're in,
32
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,267
You're in for life, right?
33
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,002
She's in.
Oh.
All right.
34
00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:11,737
She's in.
Welcome.
35
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,705
Well, if I'm in, I should
get the next round.
36
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,207
Whoa, whoa,
ooh,
37
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,742
I like this girl.
Ho, ho.
38
00:01:17,877 --> 00:01:20,345
I'm serious, I
like this girl.
39
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,281
So here's the deal
with the deal.
40
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,715
Robin's my new
best friend--
41
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,184
Nobody bangs her.
42
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:26,285
Hey, hey,
43
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,619
Hey, she only rejected me
44
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,755
Three times,
she's still very much in play.
45
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,623
I'm serious.
46
00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:35,227
There's only one way I'd let
either of you have sex with her.
47
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,996
(gasps)
not that. It's never that.
48
00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:40,199
I really want this girl
49
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,800
To stay a part
of our lives.
50
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:45,270
So the only way you're allowed
to hook up with her...
51
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,873
Is if you marry her.
52
00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:50,175
Too rich for my blood.
53
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,645
Ted:
That son of a bitch did it.
54
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,914
He really did.
55
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,050
So you're moving
to chicago tomorrow, huh?
56
00:01:58,052 --> 00:02:00,052
How do you feel?
57
00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:01,954
Uh, I'm looking forward to it.
58
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:03,422
The job's amazing.
59
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:04,923
I got a great apartment
lined up.
60
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,126
You know, it's...
61
00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:08,927
It's exciting.
62
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,963
Onwards and upwar...
63
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,031
♪
64
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:35,954
♪
65
00:02:35,956 --> 00:02:39,591
Barney:
Hey! Bass player.
66
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:42,294
It's me. The guy from
the drug store with the diapers
67
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:43,929
That hit on you,
then we went outside
68
00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:46,331
And had a deep, emotional
talk on a bus bench.
69
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,300
Remember when you
70
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,601
Told me to stop
messing around
71
00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:50,769
And go get the girl?
72
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,472
Well, check it. I got her.
73
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,274
(chuckles)
74
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:57,943
What about you?
You still dating that guy?
75
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,819
Grape scotch!
76
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,022
Ted, ted, ted, ted.
77
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,490
Right here,
right here,
yeah,
78
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:12,958
I-I see you, barney.
Right here,
right here.
79
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,459
Good, great. Then it's
time to play a little game
80
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:15,661
I like to call have...
Yeah,
81
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,563
Barney, I...
No, no.
82
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,565
You are not getting out
of have you met ted.
83
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:20,866
There's a girl
that you have to meet.
84
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,202
She is perfect for you.
And has...
85
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:24,736
She met you?
No, she has... Not.
86
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,972
Think of all the sex
you're gonna ha..
87
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,207
Barney.
88
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:30,876
I ha... I have to go.
89
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,744
What, now?
90
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,648
Yeah.
91
00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:39,151
Y...
92
00:03:39,153 --> 00:03:41,486
W-we have to do this outside.
93
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:49,061
Robin.
94
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,897
It's been a major pleasure.
95
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,166
Major pleasure.
Major pleasure.
96
00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,235
(chuckles)
come here.
97
00:03:59,205 --> 00:04:00,739
(whispers):
Congratulations.
98
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,341
(whispers):
Thank you.
99
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,583
Oh, god, no, this is too real.
100
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:14,753
I can't handle this,
marshall's next.
101
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,788
Marshall.
102
00:04:18,725 --> 00:04:21,426
Good luck out there
in chicago.
103
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:23,762
I'm gonna be kind of jealous
of you, getting to have
104
00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,265
Gazzola's pizza
whenever you want.
105
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,566
You're gonna be in rome.
106
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,369
Yeah. I guess.
107
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:37,909
I just...
108
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:41,146
I feel like a hug isn't enough.
109
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,981
E.T. Good-bye?
110
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:50,589
(imitating e.T.):
I'll be right...
111
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,425
Here.
112
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,594
Okay, it helped,
but that was really creepy.
113
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,663
I don't want to
see you for awhile.
(laughs)
114
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:02,067
Barney.
115
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:05,337
Mm.
116
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,840
We licked the liberty bell.
117
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,275
We did?
118
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:11,943
Yeah, you...
119
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,445
You don't remember that?
120
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,881
Uh, I've done
a lot of cool stuff, ted.
121
00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:19,785
Oh, my god.
122
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:21,653
I just... I just realized:
123
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,255
Who am I gonna high five now?
124
00:05:23,257 --> 00:05:25,490
(laughs) come on, dude.
No, no,
125
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,592
I'm being serious.
What if I see...
126
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:30,262
A pack of lions
fighting a tyrannosaurus?
127
00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:31,763
Or, better yet,
128
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,598
What if I see boobs?
129
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,267
Who am I...
Who am I gonna high five then?
130
00:05:35,269 --> 00:05:36,335
You can high
five marshall.
131
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:37,803
Yeah, yeah. But marshall
132
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,838
Only likes to high five
about lily boobs.
133
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,773
Oh, always.
134
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,009
Okay, barney.
135
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,877
I have an idea.
136
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,846
One last high five.
137
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:51,650
A high five to echo
throughout eternity.
138
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,218
Yes.
139
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,786
And within
that high five will be
140
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,988
All the high fives
we've ever high fived.
141
00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,125
And all the high fives we
could ever possibly high five.
142
00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:02,060
A high infinity.
143
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,628
A high infinity, exactly.
144
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,730
Let's do this.
145
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,198
All right,
everybody back up.
146
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,266
Oh, boy.
147
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,605
I'll see you
on the other side, ray.
148
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,775
Nice working with you,
dr. Venkman.
149
00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,011
(ted and barney growling)
150
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,813
Ted and barney:
Aah!
151
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:25,083
(slap)
ow!
Ow!
152
00:06:25,085 --> 00:06:27,319
Oh.
Oh.
Oh!
153
00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:28,520
Worth it.
154
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:30,589
So worth it.
(short laugh)
155
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:33,825
So I rushed out
to make the train,
156
00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,494
Which is now 45 minutes late.
157
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,929
This lady
with the bass guitar--
158
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,431
Was she pretty?
159
00:06:41,267 --> 00:06:43,068
♪
160
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:44,736
Yeah.
161
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,871
She was beautiful.
162
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,406
Go back and meet her.
163
00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:48,874
No.
164
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,409
But what if it was destiny?
165
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:53,578
Lady, it's been
a really long weekend.
166
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,515
I'm moving to chicago tomorrow.
167
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,517
I can't really
talk destiny right now.
168
00:06:58,519 --> 00:07:00,519
Okay.
169
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:09,961
Yes?
170
00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:14,633
What if the universe
sent you a gigantic sign
171
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:17,769
That this woman
was your destiny?
172
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,271
Then would you talk to her?
173
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,708
Yeah, sure. I mean,
I-I guess I would have to.
174
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:24,709
Okay.
175
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:26,711
Okay.
176
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,146
Where is that train?
177
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:30,816
Can I ask one more question?
178
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:32,150
What?
179
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:34,786
This girl with the bass guitar--
180
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,388
Is that her?
181
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:45,430
That is her, isn't it?
182
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,799
(whoops)
this is so exciting.
183
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,267
G-go talk to her.
184
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,636
(whispers):
All right. Just be cool,
lady. Damn.
185
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,338
Why are you still
sitting here?
186
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:56,942
Because I'm moving to
chicago tomorrow, remember?
187
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:58,677
And 24 hours
from now,
188
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:02,247
My life is gonna be
completely different.
189
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:05,083
Marshall: This is so strange,
you know, now that ted's
190
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:09,087
Gone, it's just a...
A different vibe.
191
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:12,591
You can just f-feel
his absence.
192
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,292
Are you kidding me?!
193
00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:15,427
Oh, hey.
194
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:16,761
What are you doing
in new york?
195
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,296
Aren't you
supposed to be in chicago?
196
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:19,931
No... Oh.
197
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:21,500
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
198
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:22,834
What?
What?
199
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:26,438
I'm not moving
to chicago.
Why?
200
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:27,939
I met a girl.
You...
201
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,374
Son of a bitch!
202
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:31,109
What is the matter with you?
203
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,511
How could you put us
through that?
204
00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,447
That good-bye was
emotionally devastating.
205
00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:38,350
A certain delicate flower
cried all night in the shower.
206
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,185
And I was pretty
bummed, too.
207
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,219
And now you're
208
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,787
Staying because of some girl?
209
00:08:42,789 --> 00:08:44,890
I mean, who is
this person?
210
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,725
The bass player
from the wedding band.
211
00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,193
Oh, yeah, she's great.
(gasps)
212
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,294
Love her.
Right,
213
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:50,795
Right?
214
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,164
What are you...
What are you doing?
Calling her.
215
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,734
Don't do this.
Don't call her the next day.
216
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:56,902
You're blowing this.
Huh?
217
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,204
Three days.
You wait three days, ted.
218
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,807
H-hey, it's ted. Hi. Um,
219
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,510
Listen, do you ... Do you want
to have dinner tomorrow night?
220
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,978
Great.
221
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,713
It was clear I meant
with me, right?
222
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:12,150
Same answer. Solid.
223
00:09:13,519 --> 00:09:15,520
Marshall:
Why does he keep
doing this?
224
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:18,390
He meets 'em,
he likes 'em way too much,
225
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:21,526
He goes way too big, too soon,
and he ends up blowing it.
226
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,395
I can't take this anymore.
227
00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:26,231
He's fallen in love
so many times now.
228
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,669
Not like this.
229
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,737
This is different.
230
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,073
Come on, go talk to her.
231
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,108
Oh, and it'll all be
because of me.
232
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,945
And I'll sing
at your wedding. (laughs)
233
00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,180
Y-you are gonna have
a big wedding, right?
234
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,516
What? No.
Just be cool, lady. Damn.
235
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:49,421
(sighs) and aren't big weddings
kind of a young man's game?
236
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:51,590
You don't have a big wedding
in your 30s.
237
00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:53,425
If I do ever get married,
238
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,193
I'm keeping it simple.
239
00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,262
Barney: A hot air balloon?
240
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,631
Well, yeah. I mean,
when you're getting married
241
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,100
In a 17th-century castle in
France and making your entrance
242
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,702
On a stagecoach
with six white horses,
243
00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,770
You kind of got to make
a big exit. (chuckles)
244
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:08,907
How much are you
spending on this?
245
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,443
Oh, like, a lot of money.
246
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:12,777
Mm.
All of my money.
247
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,146
Look, I know you guys
have been traveling a lot,
248
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,748
But you're coming, right?
249
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:18,583
Oh course. What...
Duh.
250
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,051
(short laugh)
(quiet laugh)
251
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,553
I'll get the next round.
252
00:10:21,555 --> 00:10:22,587
Thanks.
253
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:23,755
I'd offer, but...
254
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:24,889
Castle.
255
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,592
Yeah.
256
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,227
So, how you guys doing?
257
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,096
I mean, robin's really
taking off at work, huh?
258
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:34,766
It's like, "robin scherbatsky,
world wide news, caracas."
259
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,569
"robin scherbatsky, world wide
news, st. Petersburg."
260
00:10:37,571 --> 00:10:39,237
"robin scherbatsky,
world wide news,
261
00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:41,606
Anywhere but new york,
apparently." (laughs)
262
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:42,907
But it's great.
263
00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:45,110
Uh, it's makes things
super difficult for us,
264
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:47,946
But it's great. It's great.
265
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,448
It's great. It's great.
266
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:51,583
One more and I'll believe you.
267
00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:53,752
It's great. (laughs)
sounds great.
268
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,987
Hey.
Hi, hi. Sorry I'm late.
269
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:59,491
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah, sure. Did you wire the
down payment to the castle guy?
270
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:01,126
I got a castle guy.
271
00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:03,528
I've got, like,
three castle guys.
272
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:06,264
And a moat guy, so...
273
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:09,267
I didn't wire the
payment because
274
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,637
I don't think we can get
married in September.
275
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,606
What-what, why?
Because,
276
00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:16,608
When I do get married,
277
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:19,210
I kind of want to fit
278
00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:22,013
In... My dress.
279
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:25,350
Why wouldn't you f...
280
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:27,285
No.
281
00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:28,286
Yeah.
282
00:11:28,288 --> 00:11:29,320
No.
Yeah.
283
00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,321
Yeah, yeah.
284
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,390
Yeah.
Whoa. (laughing)
285
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:35,860
What's going on?
286
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:38,229
She's getting a boob job.
287
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:41,966
Lily: We just peeked in on penny
288
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,301
Asleep in the baby room.
289
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:44,569
It's adorable.
290
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:46,838
The whole place
looks great, guys.
291
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,008
But I can't believe you let ted
hang his jousting lance
292
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,477
From the renaissance fair
on your bedroom wall.
293
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,245
(chuckles)
yeah.
294
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:55,647
That's ted's.
295
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:58,316
So, marshall,
how's your job going?
Mm.
296
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,418
My chair...
297
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,587
Is reasonably comfortable.
298
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,856
For short periods of time.
299
00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:07,325
Marshall has decided to say
300
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,161
Only positive things about
being back in corporate law.
301
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,262
So you hate it?
302
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:14,165
Much of what I do does not
make me cry.
303
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,334
Hey, what about you guys?
304
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:17,969
How was argentina?
305
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:21,506
Great. It was great.
306
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,241
It was great.
It was great.
307
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,909
It was great.
It wagreat.
308
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,779
It was great.
(chuckles)
309
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,681
One more and I'll
believe you.
310
00:12:29,683 --> 00:12:31,015
(sighs)
(sighs)
311
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,851
This is so not great.
312
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,587
I'm sorry that I have
to work while I'm here.
313
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,589
It's called being on assignment.
314
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,424
Well, what about me? There's
no wi-fi in this hotel.
315
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,559
How am I supposed to
run a business, robin,
316
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,094
With no wi-fi?
317
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,430
It's not a business,
barney, it's a blog, okay?
318
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,432
It is a lifestyle blog.
319
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,435
For the upscale,
sophisticated urban
gentleman, and it's
320
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:54,205
Never gonna take off if I can't
post today's boner joke.
321
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,611
I know I'm always traveling.
322
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:01,946
We both hate it when
I'm gone, we both hate it
323
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,649
When I drag you with me.
Neither of us is happy.
324
00:13:06,485 --> 00:13:08,586
Is this just not
working anymore?
325
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,489
Wait, w... What "this"?
This-this?
326
00:13:11,491 --> 00:13:15,794
If I gave you an out,
right now--
327
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,929
If there was
an exit ramp right here
328
00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:21,466
At the three-year mark--
329
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,334
Would you take it?
330
00:13:25,104 --> 00:13:26,437
Before I answer that,
real quick:
331
00:13:26,439 --> 00:13:28,673
You want to get super drunk
and have sex right now?
332
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,575
Of course.
333
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:32,977
And then, one thing
led to another.
334
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,579
And then another.
335
00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:35,847
And then another
after that.
336
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:37,115
Oh.
Oh.
337
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,584
And we kept drinking, and
338
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:42,053
May have had
a little... Too much.
339
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,259
Arigato.
340
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,761
Wow, these rooms
all look the same,
341
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:50,995
Even when you're sober.
342
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,364
You're sober?
343
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,035
So, um...
344
00:13:57,037 --> 00:14:00,505
About what we discussed
last night.
345
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,842
How do you feel?
346
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:13,084
I love you, robin.
347
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:18,890
And when we got married,
348
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:24,095
I made a vow that I would always
tell you the truth.
349
00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,634
We got divorced.
350
00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,078
I can't believe you got
divorced without telling us.
351
00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,680
This is my mom and
dad all over again.
352
00:14:42,682 --> 00:14:44,916
Barney, if you start
brewing your own beer now
353
00:14:44,918 --> 00:14:46,718
And nail my prom
date, so help me...
354
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:48,119
Years too late on
one of those, teddy.
355
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:50,521
Guys, it's okay.
356
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,557
This isn't
a failed marriage.
357
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,225
It's a very
successful marriage
358
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,060
That happened to
only last three years.
359
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,062
You both want this?
360
00:14:58,064 --> 00:14:59,898
For real?
361
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,933
We do.
362
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:03,668
For real.
363
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,372
Lily, you okay?
364
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:08,940
Of course
I'm not okay.
365
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,376
This ruins
everything.
366
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:12,744
Now we have to choose sides,
367
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,846
And obviously
we're gonna choose robin,
368
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:16,714
But barney has his moments.
369
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,216
Marshall:
I really liked
370
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,617
The boner joke of the day.
371
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,953
Look, you guys do not need
to pick sides.
372
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,589
Nothing has to change.
No. We've already
broken up before
373
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,624
And we've stayed friends,
remember?
374
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:30,628
As long as you promise me this
won't mean we stop hanging out.
375
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,897
Okay.
376
00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,632
I'm serious.
I know,
but, I mean,
377
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,567
We hardly hang out anymore
anyway.
378
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,636
They live in the suburbs now,
379
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,505
And you two are about
to have baby number three.
380
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:44,442
Please. You're so obvious.
381
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,945
Your gals are back up
to a full c-cup,
382
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:49,013
And you've been sipping
her drink all night long.
383
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,482
We didn't want
to announce anything
384
00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:52,917
Till we knew for sure.
385
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,252
Oh, my gosh, lily!
386
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,920
That's amazing!
Oh, congratulations!
387
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,889
Oh, my god.
Wait, see?
388
00:15:57,891 --> 00:15:59,557
This, right here,
389
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:02,894
This is why we can't fall
out of each other's lives.
390
00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:05,463
We have to be here
for the big moments.
391
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,899
Just promise me,
no matter what,
392
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:10,635
We will always be there
for the big moments.
393
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:14,706
I-I promise. We'll-we'll always
be there for the big moments.
394
00:16:15,774 --> 00:16:17,675
Mm.
See?
395
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,511
It's like this whole divorce
thing never happened.
396
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,779
(crying)
397
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:22,847
I...
398
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:27,085
Hey.
Hi, sweetie.
399
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,353
How was work?
400
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:31,456
My-my boss only called me
three words
401
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,992
That meant "vagina" today.
402
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,627
How are the kids?
Asleep.
403
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,796
Good. This is working, right?
404
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:41,966
Marvin and daisy sharing a room
together? It's not too cramped?
405
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,935
And then when the
next one arrives,
406
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:46,771
We'll just put her
crib... In the shower.
407
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:49,440
It's the perfect size.
It'll save time on cleanups...
408
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:50,508
Let's move
somewhere bigger.
409
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,443
Yes. Oh, thank god.
410
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:55,046
I mean... You know,
411
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,515
Don't get me wrong.
I love this apartment.
412
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,784
How do you say good-bye
to so many special memories?
413
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:02,787
Cock-a-mouse!
We have to move!
414
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,856
(dance music playing)
(laughs)
415
00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,527
Hey, marshall.
Robin!
416
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:12,130
Hey, I'm so glad you're here.
It's-it's been forever.
417
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,564
Oh, hey.
Hey.
418
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:15,366
Where's your...
Where's your costume?
419
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,969
Oh, uh, it's been
a crazy week at work
420
00:17:17,971 --> 00:17:19,737
So no time to go shopping.
421
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,040
Uh, well, who are
you supposed to be?
422
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,375
Okay, I want to make it clear
this is not my idea.
423
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,244
I'm captain ahab.
424
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,513
Why is it bad
if it was your idea?
425
00:17:28,515 --> 00:17:30,581
Robin, you made it!
A white whale. Got it.
(chuckles)
426
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,683
Aw. Hi.
Hi.
427
00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,185
Yeah, I figured,
428
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:37,522
People are thinkin' it. Might as
well steer into the skid, right?
429
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:39,223
Where's your costume?
430
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:40,558
Oh, you know,
I've just been so...
431
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,060
(squealing)
oh, my god, marshall!
432
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,728
Guess whose digits
I just scored?
433
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:46,030
The slutty
police officer's...
434
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,366
Tax attorney.
435
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,168
Hey, robin!
436
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,003
Hey.
Didn't see you there.
437
00:17:52,005 --> 00:17:54,072
(chuckling nervously)
saved it.
438
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:55,573
Sorry, I got to pee.
439
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,242
I-I'll be back
in... An hour.
440
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,347
Oh, man.
441
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,883
Is ted still wearing
his hanging chad costume?
442
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:08,019
How old is that thing?
It's gone
443
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:10,688
From played out to
charmingly retro and back
444
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,190
Six or seven times now.
445
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,558
Kind of
like ted himself.
446
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,960
Tonight it's working
for him though.
447
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:19,464
Robin:
How do you do this, ted?
How do you
448
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:21,899
Sit out here all night
on the roof in the cold
449
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,802
And still have faith
your pumpkin's gonna show up?
450
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,472
Look, I know that odds are
the love of my life
451
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,574
Isn't gonna magically walk
through that door
452
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,375
In a pumpkin costume at...
453
00:18:31,377 --> 00:18:33,911
2:43 in the morning, but...
454
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:37,548
This seems as nice a spot
as any to just, you know...
455
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:40,017
Sit and wait.
456
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,560
Um...
457
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:52,463
Uh, c-can you tell lily
I-I had to go?
458
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,132
I got to split.
459
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,333
(sighs)
460
00:18:57,603 --> 00:18:59,470
Speaking of splits, do you think
I can do a split in midair
461
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,506
Like my boy
david lee roth?
462
00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:02,406
I know you can't.
463
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:03,975
Challenge accepted.
464
00:19:05,277 --> 00:19:08,513
Barney:
Oh, my scrotum!
465
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:11,816
(sighs)
466
00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:17,355
I can't get out
of this thing.
467
00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:18,823
I'm holding it.
468
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,992
Wait,
are you leaving?
Yeah,
469
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:23,027
I got a big day tomorrow.
I got to get some sleep.
470
00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:26,097
No, you can't leave.
This is a big moment.
471
00:19:26,099 --> 00:19:28,432
We're saying good-bye
to the apartment.
472
00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:30,835
The whole gang has to be here.
473
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:32,537
The gang?
474
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:35,106
Do you know who the gang is
to me, lily?
475
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:36,941
Here's what the gang is:
476
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,110
The gang is a married couple
477
00:19:39,112 --> 00:19:42,613
Who I never see anymore,
about to have their third kid;
478
00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,715
It's my ex-husband,
479
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:47,785
Hitting on slutty cops
right in front of me;
480
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:51,789
And it's the guy I probably
should have ended up with
481
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,325
With the beautiful mother
of his child.
482
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,394
Oh...
483
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:01,032
Oh, oh, so... So what?
484
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:02,733
This is all
485
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:04,535
Just over then?
486
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,972
Our whole friendship
is just over?
487
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:10,908
No. No, of course not.
Look, we'll...
488
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:13,744
We'll always be friends.
It's just...
489
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,314
Never gonna be how it was.
490
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:18,649
It can't be.
491
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:19,917
And that doesn't
492
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:22,253
Have to be a sad thing.
493
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:24,755
There-there's so much
wonderful stuff happening
494
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:27,258
In all of our
lives right now.
495
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,427
Look, more than enough
to be grateful for.
496
00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:33,431
But the five of us
hanging out at maclaren's,
497
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,767
Being young and stupid...
498
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,736
(sighs)
that's just not one
of those things.
499
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,107
(sighs)
I got to go.
500
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:46,244
Good night, lily.
501
00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:49,580
Good night.
502
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:58,349
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