1 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:06,600 [ominous music] 2 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,800 [lights crackling] 3 00:00:08,824 --> 00:00:14,824 ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA PSArips.com 4 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,360 [sighs] 5 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,640 The trial of the demon Crowley, 6 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:34,040 beginning with evidence and ending with utter obliviation, 7 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:35,880 is in session. 8 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,000 All rise. 9 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,880 Bring in the traitor. 10 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,120 Hey, guys. 11 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:55,240 Nice place you got here. 12 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:56,880 Not for you, it won't be. 13 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,320 [Crowley] Could do with some house plants. 14 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,160 -Maybe a coffee table. -[Beelzebub] Silence! 15 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:02,440 The prisoner shall approach. 16 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,320 [Crowley] Love to. 17 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:09,160 So, four of us. 18 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,920 Rubber of bridge? Barbershop quartet? 19 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,080 The trial of a traitor. 20 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,680 Lord Beelzebub, you are...? 21 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:16,720 I'm the judge. 22 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:19,560 And I'm the prosecutor. 23 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,360 And so Dagon here is defending me? 24 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,280 [Dagon] Oh, I'm afraid not. 25 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,840 No, I'm just here in case there's anything you've done 26 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:30,560 that they forgot. 27 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,120 But we built this place for you specially. 28 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,240 It shall be your place of trial. 29 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,720 And it shall be your place of destruction. 30 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,960 Guys, you shouldn't have gone to all the trouble. 31 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,200 What appears to be the problem? 32 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,600 [chorus vocalizing intensely] 33 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,760 [rewinding sounds] 34 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,760 ["Bohemian Rhapsody" blaring] 35 00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,120 [brakes squeal] 36 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,640 ♪ Ooh, yeah, ooh, yeah ♪ 37 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,880 You wouldn't get that sort of performance from a modern car. 38 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,080 [Aziraphale's voice] Crowley? 39 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,480 Hey, Aziraphale! I see you found a ride. 40 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,000 -Nice dress. Suits you. -Ahh! 41 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,960 [Aziraphale's voice] This young man won't let us in. 42 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,560 Leave it to me. 43 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:20,560 Army human, 44 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,680 my friend and I have come a long way, and-- 45 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,320 Which one of you did that? 46 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,680 [bicycle bells dinging] 47 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,760 Okay, those kids are in big trouble. 48 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,880 And so are you people. Don't move! 49 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,280 [chorus vocalizing intensely] 50 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,520 [explosion] 51 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:46,440 ♪ Any way the wind blows ♪ 52 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:13,560 Ninety years and not a scratch, 53 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,280 now look at you. 54 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:19,520 [Aziraphale's voice] Crowley. He's got a gun. 55 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:23,520 He's pointing it. Do something! 56 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,960 I am having a moment here. 57 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,560 Crowley! 58 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,560 I am the nice one. 59 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,800 You can't expect me to do the dirty work. 60 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,600 I'm going to count to three, then I'm going to use my finger. 61 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:42,280 Ma'am, I'm giving you all five seconds to vacate this area! 62 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:56,800 [clicks tongue] 63 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,800 Rest in peace. 64 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,720 You were a good car. 65 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,560 -Nice work on the soldier. -Well-- 66 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:16,280 Oh, I do hope I haven't sent him somewhere unpleasant. 67 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,600 Oh. Okay. 68 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,880 I need to get over the car thing. 69 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,200 I'll deal with them. 70 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,520 [Shadwell] Never fear, laddie. 71 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,920 I've got a finger. 72 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,800 You may need to brandish your weapon, Sergeant Shadwell. 73 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,800 We are here to lick some serious butt. 74 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,920 "Kick", Aziraphale. It's "kick butt". 75 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,240 For Heaven's sake. 76 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,320 Oh! I can't believe I just said that. 77 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,920 -[whistling] -[dog barking] 78 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,920 [Tyler] Oi, Young. 79 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:52,320 Yes? 80 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,040 -Your son, Adam. -[sighs] What's he done now? 81 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,080 I've just seen him and his little gang of cronies 82 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,720 cycling to the Air Force base. 83 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,240 If you think that armed guards and whatnot 84 00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,600 will tolerate your son's tomfoolery, 85 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:04,920 -I, for one, do not. -Adam wouldn't-- 86 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,240 You saw what he did to my begonias. 87 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,440 Don't blame me if your son starts World War Three. 88 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,640 [laughs] 89 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:18,080 [theme music plays] 90 00:06:57,160 --> 00:06:59,920 -[Newt] Where exactly are we going? -Shh! 91 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,360 [God] In a handful of moments, the missiles will fly. 92 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,160 The forces of Heaven and Hell will attack. 93 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,280 And everything depends on one small boy. 94 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,800 Silence holds the bubble of the world in its grip. 95 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:32,000 [whines] 96 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,920 Those people, do you think they were terrorists? 97 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,240 [Anathema] In a very nice and accurate way... 98 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:39,000 yes. 99 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,920 I mean, you should have seen their auras. 100 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,120 Was there a problem with them? 101 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,520 Negative. 102 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,400 Like black holes. 103 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,160 I don't think they're entirely human. 104 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:49,440 [alarm blaring] 105 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:50,680 [inaudible] 106 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:54,080 If only we knew what they were saying. 107 00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:58,000 We no longer have control of the ACME-6 nuclear launch protocols! 108 00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,440 I think we've been hacked! 109 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,480 Nuclear strike orders implemented... 110 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:02,920 against Belgium. 111 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,880 Are you sure this is a good idea? 112 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,640 [speaking German] 113 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,400 Look, we're trying to turn off the controls, 114 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,200 but there's some kind of satellite override in place! 115 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,320 Are you sure this is a good idea? 116 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,560 They're saying it's the end of the world. 117 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,880 Yes, I got that. 118 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,000 It has begun. 119 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,040 I didn't ask for it to begin. 120 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:27,040 [Death] Your very existence demands the ending of the world. 121 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:36,040 You could finish this for them with one thought. 122 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,600 You can make the world anew. 123 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:39,840 That's him. The curly one. 124 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,880 Shoot him. Save the world. 125 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,760 You are part of us, not them. No one will disobey you. 126 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,480 What? He's just a wee bairn. You cannae-- 127 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,480 -[Aziraphale's voice] Oh, for Heaven's sake. -Oh, no. 128 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:51,520 Give me that. 129 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,440 [Death] Ignore this nonsense. 130 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,240 A word from you and I will end their lives. 131 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:01,880 [Tracy's voice] You can't just shoot children! 132 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,120 [Aziraphale's voice] Perhaps we should wait. 133 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:06,640 What, till he grows up? Shoot him, Aziraphale! 134 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,760 [grunting] 135 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:13,440 [fireworks whistling] 136 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:17,720 [Tracy's voice] I'm sorry. 137 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:18,960 [panting] 138 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,400 I couldn't let you do it. 139 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:23,240 Excuse me, why are you two people? 140 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,280 [Aziraphale's voice] Uh, long story. 141 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:28,280 -You see, I was in my bookshop-- -[Adam] It's not right. 142 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,760 You should go back to being two separate people again. 143 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,000 [gasps] 144 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,120 [sighs] 145 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,600 Oh, made me go all tingly. 146 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,200 But we have to be able to do something. 147 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,040 We're not in a movie. 148 00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,360 There's no handy little red wire to cut to stop the countdown. 149 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,760 Hmm. Agnes, do you have better ideas? 150 00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:01,880 You're not gonna be able to shut down 21st century technology 151 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,480 with some random 17th century prediction. 152 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,960 "He is not what he says he is." 153 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,880 Agnes, you're not even trying. 154 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,520 [recorded voice] Weapons activation in two minutes. 155 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,200 What does that even mean? 156 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:17,720 I don't know. 157 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,040 -Tell me. -I think it's about me. 158 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,240 Hmm? 159 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,120 I am not technically 160 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,440 a computer engineer. 161 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,440 I'd like to be. 162 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,600 But I'm actually just... 163 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:33,880 -Just? -Just... 164 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,320 -Just? Just what? -Just the opposite. 165 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,720 I'm rubbish with computers. Every time I try to make them work, they break. 166 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,120 I'm sorry. 167 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,760 We're doomed. 168 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,400 [God] It was time to decide who your friends were. 169 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,520 -And Adam had. -[Dog barking] 170 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,440 So, the Antichrist, three human children 171 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,600 and a former Hell Hound, faced Death 172 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:57,040 and three monsters who came from the minds of humanity. 173 00:10:57,120 --> 00:11:00,040 The thing is, they're not actually real. 174 00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,200 They're just like nightmares, really. 175 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:04,160 Little boys with your toys. 176 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,960 I'm not a boy. 177 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,080 I am War. 178 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,680 You were made to serve me, 179 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,040 to live in me and die in me. 180 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,320 My mum says that war is just masculine imperialism 181 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,440 executed on a global stage. 182 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,680 [chuckles] 183 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,240 A little girl. 184 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,200 Run home and play with your dollies, little girl. 185 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,280 I do not endorse 186 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:32,120 -everyday sexism. -[War snarls] 187 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,640 -Ow! Oh! -[sword clatters] 188 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:36,240 [War groaning] 189 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,600 We're Adam's real friends. 190 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,760 Not you lot. 191 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,880 You're a joke. 192 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,360 Just say what you believe, Pepper. 193 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:53,840 I believe in peace, bitch. 194 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,680 [screams] 195 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,600 Drop it, Pepper. Quick. 196 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:08,800 -I believe in a clean world. -[Pollution screams] 197 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:20,080 And I believe in food and a healthy lunch. 198 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,840 Actually, it's a very good thing. 199 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,120 [growling] 200 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,520 Didn't that used to be your sword? 201 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:28,280 [Dog barking] 202 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,080 I do believe it was. 203 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,560 [screams] 204 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,280 Any moment now. 205 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,360 Encourage the troops, Dagon. 206 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,560 Right. Listen up. 207 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,960 Any moment now, we'll be leaving Hell 208 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,400 and we'll be going up against the army of angels. 209 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,560 Now, all of you were angels once, 210 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:10,520 and we fought in the glorious revolution. 211 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,240 And we lost. But that was then. 212 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:16,160 We have had thousands of years 213 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,160 -to get tougher. -[all] Tougher! 214 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,080 -Smarter. -[all] Smarter! 215 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:21,960 And more dangerous. 216 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,600 I want you to repeat after me. 217 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,200 -Tougher. -[all] Tougher! 218 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,480 -Smarter. -[all] Smarter! 219 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,560 Something's happening. 220 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,520 Something's wrong. 221 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,760 -We're idiots. -[recorded voice] Thirty seconds... 222 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,640 -Look. Repair it. -What? 223 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,120 [Anathema] Get this computer room working better, right now. 224 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,400 You said every computer you try and fix dies, 225 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,960 so... fix it. 226 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,880 And speed up nuclear Armageddon? 227 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,240 Could you? Speed it up? 228 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:53,720 [snorts] Yeah. 229 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,680 Easy. I mean, if I actually wanted to improve this computer's performance, 230 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,280 all I'd do is open it up and then click on the disk defragmenter. 231 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,760 [gasps] 232 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,440 [God] All over the world, 233 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,360 people who had been wrestling with switches 234 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:07,760 found that they had switched. 235 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,240 Circuit breakers opened. 236 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,320 Computers stopped planning World War Three 237 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:15,200 and went back to idly scanning the stratosphere. 238 00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,800 Death, this all has to stop now. 239 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,760 It has stopped. But they will be back. 240 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:22,760 We are never far away. 241 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,920 I am creation's shadow. 242 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,760 You cannot destroy me, 243 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,280 that would destroy the world. 244 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,600 Good day, gentlemen. 245 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:32,760 Cheek. 246 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:35,280 Cheek. 247 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,600 [thunder rumbles] 248 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,480 [God] Death opened wings of night. 249 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,080 Wings that were shapes cut through the matter of creation 250 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,160 into the darkness beneath, 251 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:48,760 and in which, distant lights glimmered. 252 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,560 Lights that may have been stars, 253 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:54,440 or may have been something entirely else. 254 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,840 [Aziraphale] There. You see, Crowley? 255 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:59,520 -It's like I've always said-- -Oh, it isn't over. 256 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,080 Nothing's over. 257 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,560 Both Heaven and Hell still want their war. 258 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,120 You. Boy. 259 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:08,680 Antichrist, what was your name again? 260 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,040 Adam Young. 261 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,840 So your friends got together and saved the world. 262 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,960 Well done. Have a gold star. Won't make any difference. 263 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,280 You! 264 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,200 You're the man in the car. You stole my book. 265 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,720 Oh, book girl. Catch. 266 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,040 What is going on out here? 267 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,440 Long story. No time. 268 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,240 -Well, try me. -[Aziraphale] Uh... 269 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,800 Okay, so, uh... 270 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,680 in the beginning, in the Garden, 271 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:50,400 there was-- Well, he was a wily old serpent, 272 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:54,440 and I was technically on apple tree duty. 273 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,160 [shushing] 274 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,200 Hey, Adam. Hi, Pepper. Hi, you two. 275 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,000 Hello, Anathema. You just stopped them blowing up the world, didn't you? 276 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,640 I guess. 277 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,560 My boyfriend here did the tricky bit. 278 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,320 Boyfriend? 279 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,680 Another deluded victim of the patriarchy. 280 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,840 [thunder crashes] 281 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:27,480 Ugh. 282 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,520 Lord Beelzebub. 283 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:43,800 What an honour. 284 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,040 Crowley, the traitor. 285 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,600 That's not a nice word. 286 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,400 [Beelzebub] All the other words I have for you are worse. 287 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,160 Where's the boy? 288 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:53,760 That one. 289 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,520 Adam Young. 290 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,720 Hi. 291 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,600 Young man... 292 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:04,600 Armageddon must... restart. 293 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:05,840 Right now. 294 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,960 A temporary inconvenience 295 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:12,760 cannot get in the way of the greater good. 296 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,400 As to what it stands in the way of, that has yet to be decided. 297 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,960 But the battle must be decided now, boy. 298 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,480 -That is... your destiny. -[fly buzzing] 299 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:25,320 It is written. Now start the war. 300 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:29,040 You both want to end the world just to see whose gang is best? 301 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,240 [Gabriel laughs] Obviously. 302 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,040 It's the Great Plan. 303 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,680 It's the entire reason for the creation of the Earth. 304 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,560 I've got this. Adam... 305 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,000 when all this is over, 306 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,320 you're going to get to rule the world. 307 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:45,320 Don't you want to rule the world? 308 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:47,440 It's hard enough having to think of things for Pepper and Wensley 309 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,040 and Brian to do all the time so they don't get bored. 310 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,640 I've got all the world I want. 311 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,560 Well, you can't just refuse to be who you are. 312 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:59,080 Your birth, your destiny, they're part of the Great Plan. 313 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,040 Um, ahem... 314 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:05,680 excuse me, you keep talking about the Great Plan. 315 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,800 Aziraphale, maybe you should just keep your mouth shut. 316 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:09,160 [Aziraphale] One thing I'm not clear on. 317 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,080 Is that the Ineffable Plan? 318 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,240 The Great Plan! It is written. 319 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,520 There shall be a world, 320 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,640 and it shall last for 6,000 years and end in fire and flame. 321 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:21,400 Yes, yes, that sounds like the Great Plan. 322 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,920 Just wondering, is that the Ineffable Plan as well? 323 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,760 Well, they're the same thing. 324 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,560 You don't know. 325 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,280 Uh... 326 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:35,280 well, it'd be a pity if you'd thought you were doing 327 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:36,720 what the Great Plan said, 328 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:40,320 but you were actually going directly against God's Ineffable Plan. 329 00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:45,080 I mean, everyone knows the Great Plan, yeah? But the Ineffable Plan... 330 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,720 is-- well, it's ineffable, isn't it? 331 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,480 By definition, we can't know it. 332 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,800 -But it is... written. -[fly buzzing] 333 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,320 God does not play games with the universe. 334 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,160 Where have you been? 335 00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,880 Can I just--? 336 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,880 Um... 337 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:08,280 I'm going to need to talk to... Head Office. 338 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:12,800 How I am supposed to get 10 million angels to stand down 339 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,960 from their war footing is-- 340 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,800 It doesn't bear thinking about. 341 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,320 You should try to get 10 million demons 342 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:21,760 to put down their weapons and go back to work. 343 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,280 Well, at least we know whose fault it is. 344 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:30,040 Young man... 345 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:32,800 you were put on this Earth for one reason and one reason only. 346 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,880 To end it. 347 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,880 You're a disobedient little brat. 348 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,400 And I hope someone tells your father. 349 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,200 Oh, they will. 350 00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:45,280 And your father will not be pleased. 351 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,520 Weren't they odd? 352 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,640 No! No! 353 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,680 No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 354 00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,800 What's happening? I can feel something. 355 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,520 [Crowley] They did it. 356 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,880 They told his father. 357 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,560 Oh, no. 358 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,680 And his Satanic father is not happy. 359 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,320 [rumbling] 360 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,440 [Newt] Perhaps it's a volcano. 361 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,800 No, there aren't any volcanoes in England. 362 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,280 It's really angry, whatever it is. I can feel it. 363 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,320 It's getting closer. 364 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,960 -[rumbling] -[all yelp] 365 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:24,320 -What's happening? -Well, you can call me an old silly, 366 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,800 but it looks like the devil is coming, Satan himself. 367 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,760 -Oh. -[Shadwell] Oh, that's the way it is, is it? 368 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,240 Anyone wants to hurt the whore of Babylon is going to have to get past me. 369 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,240 Oh, Mr Shadwell. 370 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,680 [rumble] 371 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:40,400 [all grunting] 372 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,160 Right. That was that. 373 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,080 It was nice knowing you. 374 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,560 We can't give up now. 375 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,240 [Crowley] This is Satan himself. 376 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,000 It isn't about Armageddon. This is personal. 377 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,080 We are fucked! 378 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,640 -[rumble] -[all gasp] 379 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,080 Come up with something or... 380 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,240 or I'll never talk to you again. 381 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:10,160 [growls] 382 00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,000 [screams] 383 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,560 Ahh. 384 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,000 Adam, listen, 385 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,440 your father is coming to destroy you. 386 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,200 Probably to destroy all of us. 387 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,720 My dad? He wouldn't hurt anybody. 388 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,440 Not your Earthly father. Satan. 389 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,080 Your father who is no longer in Heaven. 390 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,960 He is coming, and he is angry. 391 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,720 So, what do you want me to do about it? 392 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,680 Fight him? 393 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,320 I don't think fighting him would do any good. 394 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,640 You're going to have to come up with something else. 395 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,800 But I'm just a kid. 396 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,280 But that's not a bad thing to be, Adam. 397 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:59,240 You know, I was scared that you'd be Hell incarnate. 398 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:00,880 I hoped you'd be Heaven incarnate. 399 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,000 But you're not either of those things. 400 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,040 You're much better. 401 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:08,040 You're human incarnate. 402 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,520 Adam, reality will listen to you right now. You can change things. 403 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,200 And whatever happens, for good or for evil... 404 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,080 we're beside you. 405 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,960 [Crowley] I'm going to start time. 406 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:26,280 You won't have long to do whatever you're going to do. 407 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:29,640 -[grunts] -[rumbling] 408 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,040 Do it quickly. 409 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,280 [loud rumble] 410 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:41,720 [inhuman roar] 411 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,320 -[both] Oh! -[Madame Tracy gasps] 412 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:51,960 Oh... 413 00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,440 Where is my son? 414 00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:00,720 You? You're my rebellious son? 415 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,960 Come here. 416 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,920 You're not my dad. 417 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,280 Dads don't wait until you're 11 to say hello, 418 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,960 -and then turn up to tell you off. -What? 419 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,880 If I'm in trouble with my dad... 420 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,120 [loud crash] 421 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:19,120 ...then it won't be you. 422 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,240 It's going to be the dad who was there. 423 00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,000 You're not my dad. 424 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,160 What did you say? 425 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:27,280 You can do it. 426 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,040 Say it, Adam. Say it again! 427 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:31,160 Come here. 428 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:33,680 You're not my dad. 429 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,600 You never were. 430 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:38,640 No. 431 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,560 No, no, no, no, no, no! 432 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,800 No! 433 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,600 [engine idling] 434 00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:02,240 Adam? Adam? 435 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:04,760 That's not really his father. 436 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,000 -Oh, for Heaven's sake. Where is he? -[Crowley] It is. 437 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,480 It is now. 438 00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,640 And it always was. 439 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,040 He did it. 440 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:14,840 [Mr Young] Adam! 441 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,840 Would anyone here care to explain to me 442 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,000 what exactly is going on? 443 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,200 [Aziraphale] It's all worked out for the best, though. 444 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,840 Just imagine how awful it might have been if we'd been at all competent. 445 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:40,280 Point taken. 446 00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,960 What's that? 447 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:45,760 It fell out of Agnes Nutter's book. 448 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:49,560 [Crowley] "For soon enough you will be playing with fire"? 449 00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,600 So this is the final one of Agnes' prophecies? 450 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:53,760 As far as I know. 451 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,520 Hmm. And Adam... human again? 452 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,800 -As far as I can tell, yes. -[vehicle approaching] 453 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,120 [tyres skid] 454 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,640 Angel... 455 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,760 what if the Almighty planned it like this all along? 456 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,320 From the very beginning? 457 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:13,640 Could have. 458 00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,800 I wouldn't put it past her. 459 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,960 [Lesley] You got the, um...? 460 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,440 Ah, didn't want them falling into the wrong hands. 461 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,560 Oh, excuse me, gents. There's, uh... there's meant to be a sword in here. 462 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,360 Oh. There is. 463 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:39,040 -Yeah. Sitting on it. -[Lesley chuckles] 464 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:41,560 Good thing you were here, really. 465 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,160 How nice to have someone who recognises our part 466 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,880 -in saving the-- -I need someone to sign for it. 467 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,200 Oh, right. 468 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,200 Do you believe in life after death? 469 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:56,240 I suppose I must do. 470 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:57,840 [laughs] Yeah. 471 00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,160 If I was to tell my wife what happened to me today, 472 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,000 she wouldn't believe me. 473 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,720 And I wouldn't blame her. 474 00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,120 [Lesley grunts] 475 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,680 Oh. There it is. 476 00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,520 It says "Oxford" on the front. 477 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,400 Yeah, but he'll drive to London anyway. 478 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,120 He just won't know why. 479 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,560 I suppose I should get him to drop me off at the bookshop. 480 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,280 [delivery van drives away] 481 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:31,000 It burned down, remember? 482 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,640 You can stay at my place, if you like. 483 00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:45,840 I don't think my side would like that. 484 00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,680 You don't have a side anymore. 485 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:53,280 Neither of us do. 486 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,920 We're on our own side. 487 00:26:57,000 --> 00:27:01,960 Like Agnes said, we are going to have to choose our faces wisely. 488 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,360 [God] Adam had rebooted reality. 489 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:17,120 He had changed the past and changed the present. 490 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,720 So on Sunday, people woke to find a world that was almost, 491 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:22,080 but not entirely, 492 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,560 the one that they used to inhabit. 493 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,160 Although people who were dead were now alive. 494 00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:31,840 And things that were broken had now been miraculously restored. 495 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:38,760 Those are new. 496 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:46,040 [siren blares] 497 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,040 Mum, I've tidied it. 498 00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:24,440 Oh! 499 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,320 Well, was that so hard? I can see the carpet. 500 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,000 Now you just have to keep it clean. 501 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,640 Can Dog and me go outside? 502 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:34,640 [sighs] 503 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,000 You know what your father said. 504 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,000 He said that even if he didn't know why I was in trouble, I would. 505 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:43,880 And? 506 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,120 Was he right? 507 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,360 Can you explain it to me? 508 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,480 [sighs] 509 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,600 Well, you can go into the garden, 510 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,920 give Dog a little exercise, but that is all. 511 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,400 -Thanks, Mum. Come on, Dog. -[Dog barks] 512 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,600 Good morning. 513 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,080 Oh, I'm gonna regret asking this... 514 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:48,960 but I'm gonna ask. 515 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,720 Why is your car called "Dick Turpin"? 516 00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,240 Um, well... 517 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,000 Dick Turpin's a famous highwayman. 518 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:01,960 -Mm-hmm. -It's a sort of joke. 519 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:03,880 Yeah? 520 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:08,520 Well, it's called Dick Turpin 521 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,560 because everywhere it goes, 522 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,320 it holds up traffic. 523 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,720 Oh, I regret asking. 524 00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,200 [both laugh] 525 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,960 Hey... 526 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,520 Witchfinder Private Not-a-Computer-Engineer... 527 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,600 did we save the world yesterday? 528 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:35,960 I don't know. 529 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,560 Hmm. 530 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,280 You're a pretty good Witchfinder, though. 531 00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:44,200 I mean, you found me. 532 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:04,080 [playing Queen's "Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon"] 533 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,680 [rain pattering] 534 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,160 [chattering] 535 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:26,480 [man] As far as the British government is concerned, 536 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:30,480 the apparent appearance of the legendary monster the Kraken 537 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:33,600 was a mass hallucination. 538 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,880 There were a number of mass hallucinations 539 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,720 in our country too. 540 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:41,880 Yes, only this one ate our trade delegation. 541 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,200 [Crowley] A strawberry lolly 542 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:46,440 and a vanilla with a flake, please. 543 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,560 How's the car? 544 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,240 Not a scratch on it. 545 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,520 How's the bookshop? 546 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:54,960 Not a smudge. 547 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,960 Not a book burned. 548 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,720 Everything back just the way it was. 549 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,280 You heard from your people yet? 550 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,720 -Yours? -Nothing. 551 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:13,680 Do you understand what happened yesterday? 552 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,000 Well, I understand some of it. 553 00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:18,280 But some of it... 554 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,320 well, it's just a little bit too-- 555 00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,800 [Death] Ineffable. 556 00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,880 Oh, that-- that's funny, seeing him here. That's meant to be bad luck. 557 00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:31,240 [stammers] It's meant to be bad... 558 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,360 [muffled screaming] 559 00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,120 Renegade angels all tied up with strings. 560 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,840 These are a few of our favourite things. 561 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,600 -Stop! Stop them! -What's wrong, love? 562 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:45,840 [groans] 563 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,080 Ooh, bad luck, dear. 564 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:50,560 [groaning] 565 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,760 It's not a problem. It's tickety-boo. 566 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,080 [Gabriel] Ah. 567 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:03,680 Aziraphale. 568 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,880 So glad you could join us. 569 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,760 You could have just sent a message. 570 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,920 I mean, a kidnapping in broad daylight. 571 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,920 Call it what it was: an extraordinary rendition. 572 00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,240 [chuckles] 573 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,280 Now, have we heard from our new associate? 574 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,440 [Uriel] He's on his way. 575 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:22,600 He's on his way. I think you're going to like this. 576 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:24,920 I really do. 577 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,000 And I bet you didn't see this one coming. 578 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,240 ...and the murderer of a fellow demon, 579 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,640 a crime I saw with my own eyes. 580 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:40,520 Creatures of Hell, 581 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:44,160 you have heard the evidence against the demon 582 00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,480 known as Crowley. 583 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,360 What is your verdict? 584 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:51,520 [all] Guilty! Guilty! Guilty! 585 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,000 [Beelzebub] Do you have anything to say 586 00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,960 before we take our vengeance on you? 587 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,640 What's it to be? 588 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,520 An eternity in the deepest pit? 589 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:06,280 [Hastur] No, we're going to do something even worse. 590 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:09,720 Letting the punishment fit the crime. 591 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,480 [Crowley] The Archangel Michael? 592 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:29,320 That's unlikely. 593 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,360 Cooperation with our old enemies. 594 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,440 Well, wank-wings, you brought the stuff? 595 00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:36,440 I did. 596 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,040 I'll be back to collect it. 597 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,880 No, I think perhaps you ought to do the honours. It's... 598 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:44,440 [inhales deeply] I've seen what that stuff can do. 599 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,520 [demon] You don't get this view down in the basement. 600 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:11,960 [all snarling] 601 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:27,880 That's holy water. 602 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,280 [Michael] The holiest, yes. 603 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:34,320 Uh, it's not that we don't trust you, Michael, but obviously we don't trust you. 604 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,960 -Hastur, test it. -[Hastur] Hmm. 605 00:35:45,840 --> 00:35:48,920 [Usher stammers] What the hell do you think you're doing? 606 00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:50,360 Oh, ow! 607 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,880 -[Usher muttering] -[Hastur] Ahh! 608 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:56,600 No. No, no, no. What have I done? 609 00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,360 -No, no! Please! -Wrong place. Wrong time. 610 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,360 Please! Please! No! 611 00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:03,480 [screaming] 612 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:09,000 Demon Crowley, 613 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:14,040 I sentence you to extinction by holy water. 614 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,920 Have you anything to say? 615 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:19,400 Well, yes. 616 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,080 Um... 617 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:24,120 this is a new jacket, and I'd hate to ruin it. 618 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,400 Do you mind if I take it off? 619 00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:31,680 ["Jerusalem" plays] 620 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,960 [knock on door] 621 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:36,640 Just leave the plate outside the door. 622 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:40,400 [door opens] 623 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:43,960 Hello, Mr S. 624 00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:47,640 Yes, Jezebel? 625 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,640 [Madame Tracy] I was just thinking... 626 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:53,920 after all we've been through the past couple of days, 627 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:57,200 it seems a bit silly for me to leave the plate outside the door, 628 00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:01,320 so I've laid a place for you at the table. 629 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,280 In your den of iniquity? 630 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,200 Mm-hmm. 631 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,840 Oh. 632 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:21,800 [choir vocalizing softly] 633 00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:58,760 [Shadwell] Oh. Oh. 634 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,800 [knock on door] 635 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,160 Mr Pull-zifer? 636 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:11,160 -Pulsifer. -Pulsifer? 637 00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:14,040 Well, I-- I have the peculiar honour 638 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,440 of bringing you and Mrs Pulsifer a small bequest. 639 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,280 There isn't a Mrs Pulsifer. 640 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,640 Well, other than my mum, but she's in Dorking. 641 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,080 How odd. The letter is quite specific. 642 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,640 -Can I come in? -Uh... 643 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:27,960 Coffee? 644 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,640 Oh, I mustn't. 645 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,000 To be honest, we're all very interested in this. 646 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,000 Mr Bychance nearly came down himself, 647 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,200 but he doesn't travel well these days. 648 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,440 I have no idea what you're talking about. 649 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:40,880 The bequest. 650 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,760 It's what's in the box with the letter. 651 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,280 My firm has had it for over 300 years. 652 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,360 [knock on door] 653 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:50,440 Master Robey? 654 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:52,920 This is for you, from my mother. 655 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:57,160 And this with it for safekeeping. 656 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,360 [God] The letter contained his instructions, a gold coin, 657 00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,480 and five interesting facts about the next 10 years, 658 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,000 which would ensure that he was able to pursue 659 00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:08,480 a very successful legal career. 660 00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:10,920 All he had to do in return was see that the box 661 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,760 was carefully looked after for several centuries, 662 00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:16,640 and then be delivered on this particular Sunday morning. 663 00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,840 And well... here it is. 664 00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,400 It's from Agnes. 665 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:29,280 -Are you sure? -I recognise the style. 666 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:32,280 -I'm Anathema. -Baddicombe. 667 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,520 Well, should we see what's inside? 668 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,160 We've been having bets in the office. 669 00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:42,040 Would you like to open it? 670 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:46,080 Oh, I say, that would be something to tell the grandchildren. 671 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:55,400 That's odd. 672 00:39:55,480 --> 00:39:57,640 That's my name, I... 673 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,640 Excuse me, I... 674 00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:22,080 "Here is a florin, lawyer. 675 00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:25,440 Now run fast, lest the world find out the truth 676 00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,520 about you and Mistress Spiddon of the council town planning department." 677 00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,000 [car engine starts and revs] 678 00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:48,440 "Further Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, 679 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,880 Concerning the World That Is to Come. 680 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,000 Ye Saga Continues." 681 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:05,040 [Madame Tracy] You know, I've got a tidy amount put away. 682 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:09,680 Sometimes I think it would be nice to move out of London. 683 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,160 Get a little bungalow. 684 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:18,600 And they say two can live as cheaply as one. 685 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:23,480 And it would be nice to have a man around. 686 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:31,080 [Shadwell] Uh, well, I don't think Private Pulsifer is ever coming back. 687 00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:34,560 I'm the only Witchfinder left. 688 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:38,200 And you found me. [laughs] 689 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:43,120 I'm not much of a witch, but... I'll have to do. 690 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,040 Now what? 691 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:53,880 I... 692 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:57,280 I suppose now, I, uh... 693 00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:58,680 I pop the question? 694 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,440 Yeah. Go on, then. 695 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,000 Aye. 696 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,920 How many nipples have you got, Jezebel? 697 00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,880 Retired Jezebel, Mr S. 698 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:22,360 Just the two. 699 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:24,840 Well... 700 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,600 that's alright then. 701 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,360 [laughs] 702 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:39,080 [Gabriel] So, with one act of treason, 703 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,120 you averted the war. 704 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:42,800 Well, I think the greater good-- 705 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:44,640 [Gabriel] Don't talk to me about the greater good, sunshine. 706 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,680 I'm the Archangel fucking Gabriel. 707 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:50,320 The greater good was we were finally going to settle things 708 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,640 with the opposition once and for all. 709 00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:00,640 Up. 710 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:12,000 I don't suppose I can persuade you to reconsider? 711 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,040 We're meant to be the good guys, for Heaven's sake. 712 00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,640 Well, for Heaven's sake, 713 00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:20,920 we are meant to make examples out of traitors. 714 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,680 So... into the flame. 715 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,600 [Aziraphale] Right. 716 00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:41,600 Well... lovely knowing you all. 717 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,280 May we meet on a better occasion. 718 00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:48,560 Shut your stupid mouth and die already. 719 00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:04,080 -[splashing and sizzling] -[demons groan] 720 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:12,520 I don't suppose that anywhere in the nine circles of Hell 721 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,480 there's such a thing as a rubber duck? 722 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:16,920 No? 723 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:20,560 Ahh... 724 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:21,920 [cracks neck] 725 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,000 Mmm. 726 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:28,960 [roars] 727 00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:33,000 It may be worse than we thought. 728 00:44:33,080 --> 00:44:35,480 -[humming] -[demons gasping] 729 00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:37,880 He's gone native. 730 00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,720 -He isn't one of us anymore. -[all scream] 731 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,640 What is he? 732 00:44:44,720 --> 00:44:48,800 So, you're probably thinking, "If he can do this, 733 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:51,600 I wonder what else he can do?" 734 00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,480 And very, very soon, 735 00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,920 you're all going to get the chance to find out. 736 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,440 He's bluffing. We can take him. 737 00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,640 One demon against the rest of Hell? 738 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:02,440 -What's he going to do? -Shut it! 739 00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:05,000 Get him out of here, this'll cause a riot. 740 00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:07,040 What are you all looking at? Nothing to see. 741 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:10,600 -Nothing to see here. -[elevator bell dings] 742 00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:15,320 I came to bring back the-- 743 00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:16,960 Oh, Lord. 744 00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:18,680 Michael! Dude. 745 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:21,120 Do us a quick miracle, will you? I need a bath towel. 746 00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,480 I think it would be better for everyone 747 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:32,120 if I were to be left alone in the future. 748 00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:33,640 Don't you? 749 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:44,720 Right. 750 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:51,000 -[Newt] Are you sure? -[Anathema] Yes, I'm sure. 751 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:55,240 I know what I'm doing. I just...I just don't like it. 752 00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,080 Technological marvels can be revealed. 753 00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:01,680 -And you'd probably just break them. -[laughs] 754 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:06,120 Think of it this way. 755 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:08,600 Do you want to be a descendant all your life? 756 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:11,760 [fire crackles] 757 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:30,800 -[Pepper] Psst! -[Dog barks] 758 00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,280 [Pepper] Your mum said we couldn't talk to you, so we came round the back. 759 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:34,840 Adam, what happened last night? 760 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:36,840 [Adam] Just stuff. It doesn't matter. 761 00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,280 All I try and do is help, and now I'm stuck in the garden. 762 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,120 How long until they let you out? 763 00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:45,080 Years. Years and years, I expect. 764 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:47,840 -What about tomorrow? -Tomorrow will be alright. 765 00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,040 They'll have forgotten about it by then. They always do. 766 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:51,640 [Pepper] There's a circus in Norton. 767 00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:52,960 We're going to watch them set up. 768 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:56,000 You should go. I'll be fine. 769 00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,720 [Dog barks] 770 00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,760 Dog, get away from that hedge, 771 00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:28,080 because if you went through I'd have to chase you to catch you, 772 00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:29,920 and I'd have to leave the garden. 773 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,960 And I'm not allowed to do that. 774 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,080 But I'd have to if you went and ran away. 775 00:47:38,680 --> 00:47:40,080 Dog, you bad dog. 776 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:42,040 Stop. Come back here. 777 00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:48,840 [barking] 778 00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,680 [God] Something told him that something was coming to an end. 779 00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:56,600 Not the world exactly, just the summer. 780 00:47:56,680 --> 00:48:01,560 There would be other summers, but there would never be one like this. 781 00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:03,560 Not ever again. 782 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:19,760 [Tyler] Adam Young, get away from my apples! 783 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:21,160 [Dog barks] 784 00:48:21,240 --> 00:48:25,080 [Tyler] Oi, you boy! I'll tell your father! 785 00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:27,240 [God] He couldn't see why people made such a fuss 786 00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:29,480 about people eating their apples. 787 00:48:29,560 --> 00:48:32,560 But life would be a lot less fun if they didn't. 788 00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:35,040 And there never was an apple, in Adam's opinion, 789 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:38,040 that wasn't worth the trouble you got into for eating it. 790 00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:40,560 [Dog barks] 791 00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:47,000 [Aziraphale] Do you think they'll leave us alone now? 792 00:48:48,480 --> 00:48:52,160 At a guess, they'll pretend it never happened. 793 00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:53,840 Hmm. 794 00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,560 Right. Anyone looking? 795 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,120 Nobody. 796 00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,640 Right. Swap back, then. 797 00:49:06,720 --> 00:49:08,600 [God] It was just like Agnes had told them. 798 00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:10,200 They were playing with fire 799 00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:12,840 and would need to choose their faces wisely. 800 00:49:12,920 --> 00:49:15,360 And so they had. 801 00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,160 Ah. 802 00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:19,680 [sighs] 803 00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:22,400 A tartan collar. Really? 804 00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,040 Tartan is stylish. 805 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:26,800 [sputters] 806 00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:30,440 So, Agnes Nutter's last prophecy 807 00:49:30,520 --> 00:49:32,680 was on the money. 808 00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,040 I asked them for a rubber duck 809 00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:37,880 and made the Archangel Michael miracle me a towel. 810 00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:39,960 [both laugh] 811 00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:46,160 They'll leave us alone... for a bit. 812 00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,800 If you ask me, both sides are going to use this 813 00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:55,720 as breathing space before the big one. 814 00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:57,600 I thought that was the big one. 815 00:49:57,680 --> 00:50:00,440 No. For my money, the really big one 816 00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,880 is all of us against all of them. 817 00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:05,720 What? 818 00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:09,360 Heaven and Hell against... humanity? 819 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,320 Right. Time to leave the garden. 820 00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:18,640 Let me tempt you to a spot of lunch? 821 00:50:18,720 --> 00:50:19,960 Temptation accomplished. 822 00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:21,320 [chuckles] 823 00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:24,440 [Aziraphale] Hmm... What about the Ritz? 824 00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:28,520 I believe a table for two has just miraculously come free. 825 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:30,160 [Crowley] Ahh... 826 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:38,360 [playing "A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square"] 827 00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:44,480 -[indistinct chatter] -[champagne cork pops] 828 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,920 I like to think none of this would have worked out 829 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:06,720 if you weren't, at heart, just a little bit a good person. 830 00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:10,320 And if you weren't, deep down, 831 00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:13,600 just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing. 832 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:19,520 Cheers. 833 00:51:21,560 --> 00:51:23,280 To the world. 834 00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:26,480 To the world. 835 00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,040 [God] Perhaps the recent exertions 836 00:51:30,120 --> 00:51:32,160 had had some fallout in the nature of reality, 837 00:51:32,240 --> 00:51:35,600 because while they were eating, for the first time ever, 838 00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:40,240 a nightingale actually did sing in Berkeley Square. 839 00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:42,480 Nobody heard it over the noise of the traffic, 840 00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,120 but it was there right enough. 841 00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:48,920 ♪ That certain night ♪ 842 00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,960 ♪ The night we met ♪ 843 00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:58,640 ♪ There was magic abroad In the air ♪ 844 00:51:58,720 --> 00:52:01,360 ♪ There were angels ♪ 845 00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:05,800 ♪ Dining at the Ritz ♪ 846 00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:10,640 ♪ And a nightingale sang ♪ 847 00:52:10,720 --> 00:52:15,480 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 848 00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:23,400 ♪ I may be right ♪ 849 00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:26,920 ♪ I may be wrong ♪ 850 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:30,280 ♪ But I'm perfectly willing ♪ 851 00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:33,440 ♪ To swear ♪ 852 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:37,080 ♪ That when you turned ♪ 853 00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:41,040 ♪ And smiled at me ♪ 854 00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:45,400 ♪ A nightingale sang ♪ 855 00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:51,120 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 856 00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:26,320 ♪ The streets of town ♪ 857 00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:29,800 ♪ Were paved with stars ♪ 858 00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:35,640 ♪ It was such A romantic affair ♪ 859 00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:40,360 ♪ And as we kissed ♪ 860 00:53:40,440 --> 00:53:43,720 ♪ And said good night ♪ 861 00:53:43,800 --> 00:53:48,080 ♪ A nightingale sang ♪ 862 00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:53,320 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 863 00:53:55,440 --> 00:54:02,320 ♪ I know 'cause I was there ♪ 864 00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,480 ♪ That night ♪ 865 00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:11,560 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪