1 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,680 [suspenseful music playing] 2 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,200 [soft music playing] 3 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:28,640 [Crowley] Excuse me. 4 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:30,480 Oi! 5 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:34,840 Yes? Was that you? 6 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,080 Oh, hi, yeah. Err, look, if you don’t mind, 7 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,240 could you hold this, while I crank it all up? 8 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:43,040 Um, which way up does it go? 9 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,440 Well, like that. Just hold it tight. There we go. 10 00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,400 -Alright, ready? -For what? 11 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:51,880 There you go, lovely. 12 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,800 Thank you, you can put it down now. 13 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,760 Right. Is that it? 14 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,760 Oh, no. That’s just priming the engine. 15 00:00:58,240 --> 00:00:59,280 This is the fun bit. 16 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,680 I’ve been waiting for this since, um... 17 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,880 well, always. 18 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,000 Um. Hello. 19 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:08,720 -I’m Aziraphale. -Nice meeting you. 20 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,200 Okay, here goes. 21 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:15,680 Let there be matter, let there be gravity, let there be everything from pages 22 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,640 11 to 3,000,602 inclusive. 23 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,440 -Is something meant to happen? -Oh, right, sorry, yes, yes. 24 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,520 -I knew I’d missed one. -[laughs] 25 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,120 Let there be light. 26 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,800 [magical music playing] 27 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,840 [Aziraphale] Oh, good lord. 28 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,520 Look at you, you’re gorgeous. 29 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,720 Oh. You made it all yourself? 30 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:14,280 Ah, well, I mean, more or less. I wasn’t... I wasn’t, um... 31 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,360 I wasn’t the original concept designer, 32 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,400 but I worked very closely with upstairs on it. 33 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,520 -Well it’s very pretty. -Oh, thank you. 34 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,840 And I think you’ve done an excellent job. 35 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,160 [both laughing] 36 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,120 -So, what’s it for? -How do you mean? 37 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,440 Well, what exactly does it all do? 38 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,240 Oh, right. Well, what doesn’t this beauty do? 39 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,440 Basically, it’s a star factory. 40 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:44,600 All the dust and gas you can see, it’s actually building 41 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,920 about 5,000 young stars and protoplanets. 42 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:52,240 Most of the universe of stars will come pre-aged, but these ones 43 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:53,760 are only starting out. 44 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,680 A few million years to bake, and then 45 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,520 boom, stars everywhere! 46 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,680 [both laughing] 47 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,080 Oh, that’s nice. 48 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,680 You know, the current word from upstairs 49 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,480 is that we’ll be shutting this all down again 50 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:12,600 in about 6,000 years. 51 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,240 But that’s nothing! 52 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:18,120 Oh. 53 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,800 What’s the point in creating an infinite universe with trillions of star systems 54 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,760 if you’re only gonna let it run for a few thousand years? 55 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,079 The engine won’t have properly warmed up by then. 56 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,320 Ah, the point. Ah, well, 57 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,640 you’ve heard of Earth? 58 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,360 Yeah, not as such. 59 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,680 Ah. Blue-green planet. 60 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,840 It’ll be over there somewhere when they roll out that quadrant. 61 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,360 Now that’s where the people 62 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,920 that we’re currently designing 63 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,040 are going to be. 64 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,840 I’ve seen the plans. 65 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,040 We’re going to start out with a breeding pair, 66 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,320 and then pretty soon there’ll be oodles of them 67 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,400 They’ll breed like um... 68 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,600 Well, they’ll breed like people. 69 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,920 The impression I get 70 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,320 is that the stars and your um... 71 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,400 -Err, call it a nebula. -Right. 72 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,360 Well, they exist 73 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,120 just so that the people 74 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,440 can look up into the night sky 75 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:27,680 and marvel at the illimitable vastness 76 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,680 of The Almighty’s creation. 77 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,360 But that’s idiocy! 78 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,920 It’s the universe, it’s not just some fancy wallpaper! 79 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,800 Millions of galaxies, trillions of stars, oodles of... 80 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,480 everything! It’s not just put here to twinkle! 81 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,800 Most of it won’t even be visible from Earth. 82 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,800 Why don’t you put Earth in the middle of the universe so the view’s better? 83 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,520 It’s not our job to advise The Almighty on the details of creation. 84 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,240 Well, then whose job is it? I mean, 85 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,680 someone has to say, "Look, boss, this is a really, really terrible idea." 86 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,240 Well, I suspect that would be considered 87 00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,000 inappropriate. 88 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,560 Well, I don’t suppose anyone could object to me 89 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,160 putting a note into the suggestion box. 90 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,920 I don’t believe The Almighty has actually created a suggestion box. 91 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:22,880 And furthermore, 92 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,360 I don’t think it’s our place to start suggesting 93 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,920 that there should be a suggestion box. 94 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,760 Well, if I was the one running it all, 95 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:32,480 I’d like it if someone asked questions. Fresh point of view. 96 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:38,560 You can't just create a universe, run it for a few thousand years, and then stop. 97 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,520 I like the pinky-blue bit in the corner of the, 98 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,800 the nebula. Yes, it’s very um, ah! 99 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,320 Um, but look, word to the wise, 100 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,240 I’d hate to see you getting into any trouble. 101 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,240 Mm, thanks for your help. 102 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,480 And thanks for your advice. I wouldn’t worry though. 103 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,840 How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions? 104 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,840 [sighs] 105 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,320 [magical music playing] 106 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:22,400 [intro theme music playing] 107 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,560 [upbeat music playing] 108 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,640 "Dear Mr. Fell." 109 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,760 "There is something about which I need to speak with you 110 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:28,000 on a matter of some... ugrency?" Urgency. 111 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,200 "Yours very faithfully, Maggie." 112 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:33,000 [Maggie sobbing] 113 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:38,640 Hello, Maggie. 114 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:40,640 I got your note. 115 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,280 I thought you, well, 116 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,240 it’s been such a rough couple of years, 117 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,880 between the lockdowns and the Internet orders not coming and... 118 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,480 [sighs] I can be out of here in two weeks. 119 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,200 Out of here? 120 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:55,880 Why? 121 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:57,760 Don’t you like it anymore? 122 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,880 Oh, Mr. Fell, I love this shop! 123 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,760 I’ve loved it since I was a baby. But... 124 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,720 I know how behind I am on rent. 125 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,520 Well then that’s entirely my fault for not collecting the rent. 126 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,640 There. 127 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,160 Now, I believe you said 128 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,480 you were getting in some Shostakovich records for me. 129 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:16,640 I can’t pay the rent. 130 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,600 I’m so sorry. I can be out of here next week. 131 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,880 [sobbing] I just have to pack it all up. 132 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,880 Maggie, if you were out of here, 133 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,480 where would I get my records? 134 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,200 Finding the 78s is much harder than the long players, 135 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,080 and frankly I wouldn’t know where to start. 136 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,600 I don’t have the money. 137 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:35,880 Maggie, 138 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,520 what if I were to just 139 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:42,160 take these Shostakovich records 140 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:43,520 without paying for them? 141 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,520 And we’ll call it even. 142 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,640 I owe you thousands of pounds in rent! 143 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,480 Those records would cost you eight pounds. 144 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,320 Eight pounds and 75 pennies. 145 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,840 [laughs] You can’t just forgive me eight months’ rent. 146 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,080 Oh, I can. I’m very good at forgiveness. 147 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:00,440 It’s one of my favorite things. 148 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,120 Now, you have paid your rent, 149 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,880 I have my music, 150 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,520 and I know exactly what I’ll be doing for the next 21 minutes. 151 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,400 [soft music playing] 152 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:13,320 [laughs] 153 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,080 The clarinet 154 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:36,840 can make beautiful music. 155 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:39,880 You what? 156 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,040 The clarinet. 157 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,720 It can make beautiful music. 158 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,080 Wrong bench. 159 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,160 You want the Azerbaijani Sector Chief. He’s over there. 160 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,760 [clears throat] 161 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:00,960 I brought your mail. 162 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:02,960 Anything interesting? 163 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,160 Bills, mostly. 164 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,480 I don’t understand why they won’t just deliver them to your car. 165 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,880 -Send the bills to Hell’s finance office. -I did. 166 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:16,280 They say they can’t accept my signature as your replacement. 167 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,360 Don’t give them bread, you idiot. 168 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,080 -Ducks shouldn’t eat bread. -What are you meant to give them then? 169 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,040 -Do they know? -The ducks? 170 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,120 Downstairs. 171 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,160 Do they know you’re checking in with me? 172 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:27,400 Crowley, 173 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,240 I’m now Hell’s representative in London. 174 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,560 -And Hell doesn’t care how jobs get done. -Yeah, I remember. 175 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,320 They just care that somebody does them. 176 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,440 [Crowley] Pfft. 177 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:42,040 -Do you ever just think what’s the point? -How do you mean? 178 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:44,280 What’s the point of it all? 179 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,920 Heaven, Hell, Demons, Angels. 180 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:49,560 That it’s all... 181 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,240 well, pointless? 182 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,400 -Was it always this easy? -Easy? 183 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,440 I keep planning complicated strategic strikes 184 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,160 to spread misery and panic among the humans, 185 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,840 and just as I'm about to put one into motion, 186 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:06,800 they come up with something themselves 187 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,600 which is so much worse than anything I could have thought of. 188 00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,440 Yeah. Always this easy. 189 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,600 Anything going on I should know about? 190 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:16,960 You’re still persona non grata. 191 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,880 Beelzebub put some of the lesser demons on half-rations. 192 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,560 And something’s up. 193 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:27,920 Up where? 194 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,280 Up... up... 195 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,160 -Something big? -Don’t know. 196 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:40,320 We just got a rumor that something’s going down in the Up. 197 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,560 If you get wind of anything 198 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,440 through your contact in the bookshop, let me know? 199 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,320 Nah, they don’t talk to him anymore. 200 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:51,600 If I learn anything that you might find useful, 201 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:56,920 I’ll tell you, and in return, you’ll tell me what I need. 202 00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:59,160 Got anything for me? 203 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,920 Frozen peas. 204 00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:06,720 -What? -That’s what you feed ducks. Frozen peas. 205 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:07,960 They love them, 206 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:10,520 and it’s good for them too. 207 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,680 [lively music playing] 208 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:23,280 Hello. 209 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:28,960 -See anything you fancy? -Oh. Yes. Coffee. 210 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,280 The usual then. Don’t tell me, it’s in here. 211 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,520 -You’re a skinny latte. -You remembered. 212 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,040 A lot of people in this head, and a lot of coffees, 213 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,840 but I only remember the regulars. 214 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,800 Oh, right, yes. I’m that. 215 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,720 You work in the record shop, don’t you? 216 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,920 Dunno who buys records in this day and age. 217 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,840 -[car honks] -Holy shit! 218 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,280 -What? -Look. 219 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,480 Holy shit. 220 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,160 [chattering and car honks] 221 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,200 [upbeat music playing] 222 00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,520 [classical music playing] 223 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,720 [upbeat music playing] 224 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,200 [knocks on door] 225 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:38,840 Ugh. 226 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,680 [suspenseful music playing] 227 00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,080 Hey you. 228 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:02,920 -What... -What am I doing here? 229 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,200 Yes. 230 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,720 Well? What are you doing here? 231 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,520 I don’t know. That’s why I asked. 232 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,360 -You don’t know? -No, but I would love to find out. 233 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:19,320 Oh, it would also be great to know where here is, 234 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:24,040 and also who you are, and also who I am. 235 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:25,800 And also, why you’re naked. 236 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:28,200 Who told you I was naked? 237 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,200 -Who, I can see you’re naked! -Oh! Well, 238 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,240 what do you know? [laughs] 239 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:36,520 -Can I come in? -No! 240 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,120 Oh. 241 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:40,560 Okay. 242 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,240 [crowd gasps] 243 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:43,840 [Aziraphale sighs] 244 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,960 Alright! Just... 245 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:47,880 Just get in! 246 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,560 -That’s not something you see every day. -No. 247 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,480 Probably a new delivery service. 248 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,520 A stripper Deliveroo-gram. 249 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,200 -You just made that up. -Yeah. 250 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,880 Um, I’m Maggie. I actually run the record shop. 251 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,680 I know who you are. You’re the skinny latte. 252 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:10,880 I’m Nina. 253 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,920 I’m not saying Hell is complicit in this. 254 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,400 I’m not saying anyone is complicit. 255 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:20,800 I’m just saying if anyone is found helping him, 256 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,080 we are prepared to use extreme sanctions. 257 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,520 -[woman, through phone] Extreme sanctions? -Yes. 258 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,440 -Book of life. -I'm on it. 259 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,200 I appreciate it. [blows] 260 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,600 It’s called hot chocolate. You drink it. 261 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,120 So, 262 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,280 you don’t know who you are? 263 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,080 Oh, yes. 264 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,040 Ah. 265 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:43,760 I’m me. 266 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,680 I just don’t know who me is. 267 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:48,800 I see. 268 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,680 But you know me. 269 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,600 -You recognize me. -Well, I err... 270 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,080 know someone 271 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,880 who looks like you. 272 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,040 That’s probably me then. 273 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,119 I think that’s one of the main ways you can tell. 274 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,200 But you 275 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,839 don’t recognize me? 276 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:15,960 No. Sorry. 277 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:18,480 Then 278 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,960 why did you come to my shop? 279 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,560 I don’t know. I just thought I should. 280 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:28,000 You know what it’s like when you don’t know anything at all, and yet you're 281 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:30,960 totally certain that everything would be better 282 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,800 if you were just near one particular person? 283 00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:38,640 No. Certainly not. I have no idea what that feels like. 284 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,960 What makes you say that? 285 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:44,280 Oh, I think it’s my brain, but I’m not sure. 286 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:47,440 Anyway, that’s how I felt that so long as I came here 287 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,440 the something terrible might not happen to me. 288 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,440 The something terrible? 289 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:55,400 Mm. 290 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,160 Whoa, this is... this is amazing. [laughs] 291 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,320 What something terrible? 292 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,320 It’s doing, like, one thing here 293 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,920 and another thing here, and they’re both totally different things, 294 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,320 but they’re both so good! 295 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,280 Please, tell me about the something terrible. 296 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,080 What? I don't know. 297 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,080 I just know that it’s incredibly awful 298 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:16,400 and that that’s why I had to come here and give you the thing. 299 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,640 -Oh! [laughs] -What? What?! 300 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,800 Now it’s doing something down here! 301 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,320 Oh man, this is the best one yet. 302 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,800 -What thing? -Huh? 303 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,200 What thing do you have to give me? 304 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:31,280 Ah... 305 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,400 I don’t seem to have anything on me. 306 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,480 -Do you think it’s important? -Well, you-- 307 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,760 you just said 308 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,960 that it was the only way to prevent something terrible happening. 309 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,880 -Really? What? -I don't know! 310 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,040 Well then, I expect it will be fine. 311 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,080 Most things are fine in the end. 312 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:52,800 Like this one time, 313 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:54,240 I started to get cold. 314 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,760 Now I have this neat blanket. 315 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:00,400 Oh, and this other time, 316 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:05,040 my arms were aching ‘cause I had to carry that box for so long. 317 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,880 Now they’re fine. 318 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,480 The box. 319 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,200 [suspenseful music playing] 320 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,240 Junk. 321 00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:33,760 Junk. Junk. 322 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,400 [phone ringing] 323 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,080 -Yeah? -Something else I thought you should know. 324 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,920 Okay. Basic demon on Earth stuff. 325 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,800 Either call on the phone and talk, 326 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,160 or appear mysteriously. Don’t do both. 327 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,520 -Why not? -Trust me. 328 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,280 Righto. 329 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,240 A little more information has emerged 330 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,080 about the business in the upper floors. 331 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:00,480 Whatever’s going on concerns Gabriel. 332 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,440 His royal smugness is in trouble? That’s so sad. 333 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,000 Is it? Why? 334 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,080 Sarcasm. We’ll work on it next time. 335 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,520 Is that all? Oh. 336 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,800 There’s nothing in here! 337 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,320 What were you bringing me? 338 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,320 You’re funny. 339 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:27,720 I love you. 340 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,920 Oh. 341 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,440 Thank you. 342 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,640 I... 343 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:35,240 Mm. 344 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,440 You said you were bringing something. 345 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:38,920 Did I? 346 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,960 -Then I was. -Gabriel, look, please. 347 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,320 Try to pay attention. 348 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,320 Why did you bring the box here? 349 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,040 What’s Gabriel? 350 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:50,720 You are! 351 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,800 At least I think you are. 352 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,680 Gabriel? Cool. I love it. 353 00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:57,960 Gabriel. 354 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,760 Although, ah, actually, no, no. 355 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,520 If anyone asks, you’re not Gabriel. 356 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:05,480 Oh. Okay. 357 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:07,800 Then what am I? 358 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:09,720 Well, you’re... 359 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,320 Err... 360 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,920 -Jim. -Jim? Cool. I love it. 361 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,680 Jim. Short for Gabriel. 362 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,440 No, no. Short for James. 363 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,200 James, cool. I love it. 364 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,760 James. Long for Jim, short for Gabriel. 365 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,720 No, just forget about Gabriel! 366 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,240 [laughs] I’ll try. 367 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,400 But I find it kind of hard to forget things. 368 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:33,680 Do you indeed? Well then, 369 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,320 please, tell me 370 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,040 what was in the box. 371 00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:43,280 What box? 372 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,480 [sighs] 373 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:46,160 [phone ringing] 374 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,520 [Aziraphale through phone] Hello, it’s me. Don’t say anything. 375 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,600 -Are you there? -Should I say something now? 376 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,520 No. Meet me over the road from the bookshop. 377 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,440 I’ll be in Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death. 378 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,480 -Over the road. -Two minutes. 379 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:03,960 [fly buzzing] 380 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,200 [suspenseful music playing] 381 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:34,360 [upbeat music playing] 382 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,160 [car honks] 383 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:54,680 [door shuts] 384 00:22:57,560 --> 00:22:58,720 Right, what’s the problem? 385 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,400 Problem? Who said there was a problem? 386 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:02,880 Tone of voice. 387 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:05,000 You have three reasons for calling me: you’re bored, 388 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,520 you need to tell someone about something clever you did before you pop, 389 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:08,600 or something’s wrong. 390 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,280 This was your "something’s wrong" voice. 391 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:13,200 It’s nice to tell someone about the good things you’ve done, 392 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,280 now that I’m not reporting to Heaven. 393 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:17,320 Hello. Can I get you anything? 394 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,520 Take a big cup, put six shots of espresso into it, nothing else. 395 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,920 -That sounds fun. Does it calm you down? -Not really. 396 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,520 Nina, what do you sell that calms people down? 397 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,040 Eccles cakes? 398 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:31,680 Some Eccles cakes, please. 399 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,200 How’s your naked man friend? 400 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,640 He’s not, he’s not my... 401 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,160 Well, he’s certainly not naked anymore. 402 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:40,920 You’re a dark horse, Mr. Fell. 403 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,520 -Are you a bookseller too? -Not even at gunpoint. 404 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:47,520 This is Crowley. 405 00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:49,320 He and I 406 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,040 go back a long time. 407 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,640 Charmed. 408 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:57,040 Listen, something big is going on in Heaven. Do you know anything about it? 409 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,920 Possibly a little. 410 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,160 Why don’t we go into your shop and discuss it there? 411 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,240 -Because there’s a naked man there? -Not technically. 412 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,600 Has this got anything to do with why we aren’t in your bookshop right now? 413 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,560 Is it something I can help you with? 414 00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:22,800 Ah! 415 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:32,280 Oh, Mr. Fell, about the rent. I just want to say, you’re an angel. 416 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,280 Oh, nothing of the sort. 417 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:37,240 Eccles cake? 418 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,400 -Doing good again, angel? -Oh, it hardly counts. 419 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,560 A purely selfish action. 420 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:56,120 Back again? 421 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,920 Just thought I’d get a final something. End of the day. 422 00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,800 Pity. I thought it was my charming personality. 423 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:04,480 Actually, I brought you 424 00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,160 something, because... 425 00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:07,880 Nina Simone. 426 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,520 And your name is Nina. 427 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:13,840 I don’t 428 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:15,440 have anything to play it on. 429 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,920 Right. 430 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,000 -Of course. -Skinny latte? 431 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:22,600 Oh no, I’d be up all night. Just a herbal tea. 432 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,160 Mint tea. Although the chamomile looks nice. 433 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,400 We’re getting older. Remember when we used to party and stay up all night? 434 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,640 Now we’re all in bed by ten. 435 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,280 -I didn’t go to parties. -Well, you were a teenager, weren’t you? 436 00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:34,800 Yeah but not that sort of teenager. 437 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:38,720 Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought over the LP without asking. 438 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:42,320 Been a long day. I need to finish closing the shop. My partner’s expecting me home. 439 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:43,680 Oh you, 440 00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:45,040 you have a partner? 441 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,360 Who really doesn’t like it when I’m late, so, 442 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,440 hard choices, mint tea or chamomile? 443 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:50,880 [both laughing] 444 00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,560 I wasn’t gonna say this out there, but it sounds like 445 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,360 something a bit weird is going in with your old lot. 446 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,800 You’ll never guess who Shax was asking me about. 447 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,400 Yes, I think perhaps I will. 448 00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,640 Oh. Go on then, guess. 449 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,000 Jim? 450 00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:11,040 Jim? 451 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,520 Do we know a Jim? 452 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,920 -Hi there. -Argh, Gabriel! 453 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,560 See, I told you I looked like a Gabriel. 454 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,880 -What’s he doing here? -I don't know. 455 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:23,920 -What’s happened to him? -I don't know. 456 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,960 -Well, ask him! -I have! He doesn’t know either. 457 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,120 Ask him properly! 458 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:38,320 What... are you... doing... 459 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,120 in... this bookshop?! 460 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,840 I... am... dusting. 461 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,280 So, okay, 462 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:08,640 he’s gonna be okay. 463 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,080 We can just take him somewhere and leave him there. 464 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,440 Take him where? 465 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:13,520 Anywhere. 466 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,680 The crucial part of the plan isn’t the taking him somewhere. 467 00:27:17,120 --> 00:27:18,560 It’s not bringing him back again. 468 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:21,640 We’ll bundle him into the Bentley, I’ll drive to... 469 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:23,440 Dartmoor and dump him. 470 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,840 -Why Dartmoor? -Because! 471 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,880 Dartmoor is a long way away and it isn’t here! 472 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:30,920 Crowley, he’s in trouble. 473 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,920 Then we should get as far from him as we can, as quickly as possible. 474 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,960 He said something terrible was going to happen to him. 475 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,960 All the more reason for him to be nowhere near us when it does! 476 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,200 -I just... -Angel, 477 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,040 this is the supreme archangel of all Heaven, your former boss, 478 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,680 who tried very hard to cast you into hellfire and destroy you. 479 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,120 He is not our friend. 480 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,600 -I don’t think he really has any friends. -Exactly. 481 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:54,880 Yes, exactly. 482 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,200 What does your exactly mean exactly? 483 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,280 I feel like your exactly and my exactly are different exactlys. 484 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:02,960 Well, he doesn’t have any friends, so he needs us. 485 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:06,800 What I need is for him to be nowhere near me, 486 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,120 and the precious, 487 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,480 peaceful, fragile existence 488 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:11,920 that I have carved out for myself here. 489 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,200 -I thought we carved it out for ourselves. -So did I! 490 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:17,520 Very well. 491 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,160 If you refuse to help me, then of course... 492 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,320 you’re at liberty to go. 493 00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:26,360 To go? 494 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,800 Oh, right, this is how you wanna do it? 495 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,800 No, I would love you to help me. 496 00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,720 I’m asking you to help me take care of him. 497 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,480 But if you won’t, 498 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:40,840 you won’t. 499 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:43,200 Yeah, I won’t. 500 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,560 You’re on your own with this one. 501 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,960 [tense music playing] 502 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,520 Just breathe, that’s what humans do... 503 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:07,960 then they count to ten before they do anything stupid! 504 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,800 [breathes deeply] 505 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:13,880 [grunting] 506 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:19,360 That’s weird. 507 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,920 See that bloke? Six shots of espresso. He’s smoking. 508 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,480 There’s no law against it. 509 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:24,880 You can smoke in the street. 510 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,200 I mean, look at him. He’s smoking. 511 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,520 [intense music playing] 512 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,480 I can’t do this I’m just so angry! 513 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:35,160 Ten! 514 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:39,760 [grunts] 515 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,960 [Maggie] I think that man was just struck by lightning! 516 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,440 -No, this is not happening. -What's wrong? 517 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,600 In case of a power cut, the security system kicks in. 518 00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:49,440 This door’s just auto locked. 519 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,360 We’re gonna be in here for a while. 520 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,880 I’m sure we can just call and they’ll let us out. 521 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,520 -My phone’s dead. -So is mine. 522 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:04,280 [Michael] You misunderstand me, Uriel, no doubt accidentally. 523 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,000 [Uriel] I think I understand you rather well, Michael. 524 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,000 You’re saying that someone needs to give the orders, and that’s going to be you. 525 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,200 There is, of course, 526 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:14,640 no question 527 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,840 of replacing the supreme archangel. 528 00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,880 I am the Archangel Michael, 529 00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,760 you are the Archangel Uriel. 530 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,240 We aren’t in charge. 531 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:28,680 Right now, as of this moment, 532 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,240 Heaven does not have a supreme archangel. 533 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:34,800 There is always a supreme archangel. 534 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,680 Oh yes? And who’s that? 535 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:37,840 My point 536 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,920 is that during Gabriel’s absence, 537 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,960 his duties must still be carried out. 538 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,120 Someone’s gotta give the orders. 539 00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,160 And that’s you? 540 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,440 -It’s all of us. -Ah. 541 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,040 -Led by me. -Mm. 542 00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:00,320 I am duty officer. 543 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:05,560 Your beatitudes? 544 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:07,560 [both] Yes. 545 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,480 I think you should hear this. 546 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,520 Muriel! 547 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,080 Oh. 548 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:26,320 -Hello. -[Saraqael] And you are? 549 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,440 Oh, no one. I mean, 550 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:30,800 technically, Muriel, 551 00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:34,120 37th order scrivener, but, you know, no one. 552 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:36,200 [Michael] Well? 553 00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:38,320 Um. 554 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,160 Well, I... 555 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,480 I found something. By the lift to Down, 556 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:52,720 on the floor. 557 00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:54,720 A material object? 558 00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:00,560 In Heaven? 559 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:01,840 That’s impossible. 560 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,320 Yes, I know. 561 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:40,840 [chair squeaking] 562 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:54,200 That’s definitely an earthly object. 563 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:56,680 I can see that. 564 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,960 I think he’s gone to Earth. 565 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,280 [bell tolls] 566 00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,080 [flies buzzing] 567 00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:16,720 Oh! 568 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:18,920 Oh! 569 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:20,600 Really? 570 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,760 Come on! In my car? Really? 571 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:25,560 -[Beelzebub] Hello traitor. -Oh. 572 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,080 Lord Beelzebub! 573 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,280 I suppose you’re wondering why I called you here. 574 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,240 You came to me! 575 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,880 Oh, come on! 576 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:40,720 Oh, 577 00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:44,120 I thought we had a [spits] 578 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,360 generalized understanding. 579 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,040 We don’t. 580 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,520 You’re still a traitor. I could put a price on your head any time I wanted to. 581 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:54,480 Is that a new face? 582 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,320 What, this old thing? 583 00:33:58,440 --> 00:33:59,640 I’ve had it for ages. 584 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,080 Such a pity that Hell never really appreciated your talents, Crowley. 585 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:07,560 It is? It is, yeah. 586 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,639 What if I said Hell was willing to forget everything you did, 587 00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:14,560 that we were willing to accept you back, no questions asked with a hefty promotion? 588 00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:19,159 Doesn’t actually sound like the sort of thing you’re likely to say. 589 00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:20,280 Might be. 590 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,560 The Archangel Gabriel has vanished. 591 00:34:25,159 --> 00:34:28,880 We know he isn’t in Heaven. What we don’t know is where he is. 592 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,360 Oh, how mysterious. 593 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,639 We think someone must be hiding him from us. 594 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:35,760 -Not very likely. -If you found Gabriel 595 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,520 and handed him over to us, you could name your price 596 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,280 I’ve got all the hosts of Hell hunting for him, and we will find him, 597 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,560 but you, Crowley, you know Earth better than anyone. 598 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:48,040 Well, I... 599 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:51,280 it’s a big universe, lots of places that an archangel on the lam 600 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,159 could have a wonderful time and never be seen again. 601 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,520 Well, wherever he is, you find Gabriel for me 602 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:59,120 and you can have whatever your nasty little heart desires. 603 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:00,640 You could be a Duke of Hell. 604 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:06,200 According to what I’m hearing, on a grapevine that obviously doesn’t exist, 605 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:10,160 upstairs is seriously troubled about Gabriel’s disappearance. 606 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:13,280 I’m hearing that anybody they find involved in this affair 607 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:14,920 will be dealt with. 608 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:17,920 How? 609 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,080 Extreme... 610 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,040 sanctions. 611 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:36,400 [flies buzzing] 612 00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:39,120 That isn’t actually a thing. 613 00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,200 That’s just something we used to joke about to frighten the cherubs. 614 00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:43,920 No, it exists. 615 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:45,680 Extreme sanctions. 616 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:48,080 Anyone found involved in Gabriel’s disappearance 617 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,280 will be erased from the Book of Life. 618 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:51,600 They won’t just be gone, 619 00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:53,840 they will never have existed. 620 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,560 Well, that will teach them a lesson, alright. 621 00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,640 So, if you hear anything, come to me first, yeah? 622 00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,600 I don’t know anything about this, but I’ll absolutely let you know. 623 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:06,840 [sighs] 624 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:12,040 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Aziraphale, what have you done? 625 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,800 Someone’s coming. Hold up your sign. 626 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,320 [knocking] Oh, come on! 627 00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,280 Somebody could just walk right into my shop and just take records. 628 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,760 They could empty the till. I could see them from here, I couldn’t stop them. 629 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,200 If I owned a record shop, I’d be more worried about people breaking in 630 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:41,680 and leaving more records behind. 631 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,560 Want some wine? I’ve got a bottle in the back for emergencies. 632 00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,040 -This qualifies. -I don't drink. 633 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,640 Why not? 634 00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,080 I just never wanted to. 635 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:55,640 I don’t like the taste. 636 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:57,680 Well, I need a drink. 637 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:03,000 No judgement. 638 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:04,760 Good. 639 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,560 I have enough judgement in my life already. 640 00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,600 When my phone goes back on, there’s gonna be about 100 worried texts from Lindsay. 641 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:15,880 Must be nice, 642 00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,520 to have someone at home who cares where you are. 643 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:21,440 Yeah, well, 644 00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:24,600 Lindsay likes it if I text when I’m gonna be more than ten minutes late. 645 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:30,760 It’s funny, I was sort of hoping we’d have a chance to talk. And now... 646 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:32,800 here we are, 647 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:34,480 locked in. 648 00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:36,600 Here we both are. 649 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,640 ["Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy" by Queen playing] 650 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,840 ♪ Hey, boy, where did you go? ♪ 651 00:37:43,920 --> 00:37:46,520 ♪ I learned my passion In the good old-fashioned ♪ 652 00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,960 ♪ School of loverboys ♪ 653 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,880 Get out of the way! 654 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:54,440 There’s only room for one of us in this lane, and it’s not you. 655 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,440 No, don’t even think about it. 656 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:00,360 That’s better. 657 00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:03,880 Why sell records? Nobody buys records anymore. 658 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:09,280 You see, the record shop was opened by my great grandmother in the 1920s. 659 00:38:09,360 --> 00:38:12,160 Originally, our shop was in a corner of Mr. Fell’s bookshop. 660 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:15,440 I think that’s why he lets me stay on. Old time’s sake. 661 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,160 Because what, his grandfather knew your great grandmother? 662 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:19,400 Yeah. 663 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,280 -Oh, someone’s coming this way! Signs! -It's him! 664 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,320 The one who was struck by lightning, the six shots of espresso. 665 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:35,560 [knocking] 666 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:37,440 Oh, really? 667 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:39,440 My bad. 668 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:46,760 Oh! That’s a coincidence. It went out when he went that way, and-- 669 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:48,920 [phone beeping] 670 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:50,280 That's Lindsay. 671 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:56,360 [door opens] 672 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:04,440 [clears throat] 673 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:09,680 [bell] 674 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:14,440 I’m back. 675 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,640 Yes. I can see that. 676 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,480 You want a big, "I think I said the wrong thing," sort of apology, 677 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:25,960 or can we take that as said? 678 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:29,080 I'd like the apology, actually. 679 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:32,920 You were right. 680 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:39,680 Not good enough. 681 00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:42,600 -I want a proper apology. -No. 682 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,440 -With the little dance. -I don't do the dance. 683 00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:48,160 I did the "I was wrong" dance in 1650, 684 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,800 -in 1793, 1941... -Fine! 685 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:07,280 You were right, you were right, I was wrong, you were right. 686 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,440 Okay? 687 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,160 Very nice. 688 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,760 Now, we need to keep him here and hide him. 689 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,400 -From who? -Everybody. Heaven, Hell, humanity. 690 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,800 We do it together. We make it so nobody notices he’s here, 691 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:23,320 until we’ve sorted all this out. 692 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:24,920 -Together? -Yes. We do a... 693 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:27,560 little miracle 694 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,360 so nobody can spot him even if they’re looking for him. 695 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,640 No, I mean, especially if they’re looking for him. 696 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:36,280 I think Heaven would notice if I was to perform even a very minor miracle. 697 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,480 I don’t want Hell taking an interest either. 698 00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:39,560 Hello. 699 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:41,360 Where did you come back from? 700 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:42,440 Outside. 701 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:44,520 Outside? 702 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:46,640 Hmm. 703 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,120 Is it big? Can I see the outside? 704 00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:55,440 No, no, no, no. You need to stay here, inside the bookshop. 705 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:59,120 We can look after you in here. Just stay here. 706 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,320 Crowley, what if we each did half a miracle? 707 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:06,160 I could hide him from your former people, and you could hide him from mine. 708 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,680 It would barely move the dials. 709 00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:09,440 Yes. 710 00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,320 Yeah, that could work. Yes, okay. Okay. 711 00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,000 -You... -Jim. 712 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:17,920 -It’s short for James, but-- -Jim. 713 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,000 Right. 714 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:20,600 Sit in this chair. 715 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:24,400 You take his right hand, I’ll take his left. 716 00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,400 We need to make this the tiniest, 717 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:35,640 most insubstantial, fractional half a miracle we have ever performed. 718 00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:37,960 No traces of anything miraculous left behind. 719 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,600 -No alarm bells ringing in Heaven. -Right. 720 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:43,360 Count of three. 721 00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:46,080 One, two, three, 722 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:47,560 now. 723 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:55,400 Do you think it worked? 724 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,360 I don’t know. Probably. 725 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:03,120 Good news, Jim. 726 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,000 Nobody’s going to notice you. You’re safe here. 727 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:08,760 For now. 728 00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,000 While we figure out what’s actually going on. 729 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:13,440 I think I know what’s going on. 730 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,040 What? 731 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,080 I don’t go to the outside, 732 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:19,760 and now 733 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,560 -I have two friends. -I am not your friend. 734 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:30,760 I think it took. 735 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:35,960 That was a class-A surreptitious half a miracle. 736 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,640 No one will have noticed a thing. 737 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:43,440 [alarm ringing] 738 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:44,800 [sighs] 739 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:52,800 Excuse me, Michael. 740 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:55,440 I think this one’s for you to deal with. 741 00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,640 -What’s happening? -You’re the duty officer. 742 00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,480 -I know I'm the duty officer! -It's Earth. 743 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,120 You better come over here. 744 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,800 -Have you spotted Gabriel? -Not as such, but check it out. 745 00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,280 -Stop that noise! -Can you turn off the alarm, please? 746 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,200 [soft music playing] 747 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:32,760 I see. 748 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:36,800 We may not know where Gabriel is, but I’ll tell you what we do know. 749 00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:42,520 There’s a former angel in this, up to his bookshop-owning neck. 750 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,480 [outro theme music playing]