1 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,640 You should know why you're about to die. 2 00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:17,360 God has abandoned you. 3 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,040 The God who claims to love you, 4 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,760 who demands your praise, 5 00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,800 has given you up to be destroyed. 6 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,120 -[bleating] -Bad luck. 7 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,000 Shall we begin? 8 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,560 [Aziraphale] Stay your hand, Demon! 9 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,680 Despised tool of Satan, 10 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:48,840 in the name of Almighty God! 11 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,400 Avaunt! 12 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:52,480 Oh... 13 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,680 It's you. Dear me. 14 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,080 Haven't seen you since... 15 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,000 -the flood? -Ah, yeah. Mm-hmm. 16 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:05,960 Well, sorry about this. 17 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,680 -No, of course. -[clears throat] 18 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,480 [Aziraphale sighs] 19 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,080 Oh God. Where was I? 20 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:15,440 -"Avaunt". -Yes, yes. 21 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,280 Avaunt, foul demon! 22 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:23,760 In the name of the Almighty, I command thee, begone! 23 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:24,720 No. 24 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:26,640 No? 25 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,560 No, thank you. See, I have a permit. 26 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,600 A permit? From whom? 27 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,160 -From God. -Oh... 28 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,720 You see, it's not that I mind jokes. 29 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,640 Oh no, no, no, no, no. No, no jokes. 30 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,960 -These goats belong to Job, right? -Yes, Job. 31 00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:50,240 Who is, I might add, a particular favorite of God, so... 32 00:01:58,440 --> 00:01:59,320 [Crowley] Shall I summarize? 33 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,720 Satan and his diabolical ministers 34 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,120 may destroy everything Job owns, no questions asked. 35 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,240 Hugs and kisses, God. 36 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,360 No! 37 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,000 This can't be real! 38 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,880 Job is a... good and... righteous man. 39 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,880 I mean, he really is an absolute poppet. 40 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,360 Well, I am a demon. Maybe I'm lying. 41 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,600 Tell you what, let's find out. 42 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,000 Seems legit to me! 43 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,400 [humming] 44 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,640 So, sealed by our marks of hand and hoof. 45 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,200 Amen! 46 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:52,360 Yep, that's all fine! 47 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,920 Good heavens. 48 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,640 -What did he do? -Job? Nothing. 49 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,760 Job's the nicest man in the world. 50 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,000 That's why he's so perfect for the bet. 51 00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,000 -The bet? -[Muriel] Yep. 52 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,480 You see, God was saying how righteous Job was 53 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:10,840 and how much Job loved God. 54 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,000 -And Satan pointed out-- -Sorry, so Satan? 55 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:16,720 Mm-hmm, that maybe that was just 'cause God's been so nice to him. 56 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,240 Anyway, long story short, 57 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:21,840 God's letting Satan destroy everything Job has. 58 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,720 -And then we'll see. -Oh. 59 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:28,079 -So just his worldly goods. -Exactly. 60 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,079 Oh, nothing important, no. 61 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:33,240 Just his farm, his camels, his goat, 62 00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:36,760 -his oxen, his children, his geese-- -His what? 63 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:41,040 His geese. You know, big cross ducks. 64 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,840 His children? 65 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,280 Oh! 66 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,200 Oh, I see. Well, oh well, that's alright then. 67 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,320 Of course it is. 68 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,920 Trust in God's plan, Aziraphale. Always. 69 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,240 Of course, of course. 70 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,440 So, once Job's trials are over, 71 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,840 um, everything is restored to him? 72 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,800 Even better than that. 73 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:09,120 God will reward him with twice as much as he had before. 74 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:10,760 Oh, praise be. 75 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,240 Twice the oxen, twice the goats, twice the children. 76 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,440 Twice the... twice the children? 77 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,240 Yes, of course. How many does he have now, three? 78 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:22,200 -So, he'll get six! -Uh, probably... seven. 79 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,480 You know how God likes sevens. 80 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,360 -[laughs] -Right. Gosh, um... 81 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,240 The only thing is, um... 82 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,520 Well... Sitis is 58. 83 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:35,360 I, I don't know how familiar you are 84 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,920 with the um, the human... birth process. 85 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,800 Pretty familiar actually, 86 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,000 seeing as how I personally witnessed the very first human birth. 87 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,080 Yes, yes of course. 88 00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:50,040 Although perhaps Eve's birth 89 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:54,600 wasn't an entirely typical um... Anyway. 90 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:55,920 Um, I only meant, 91 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:59,720 are we sure that Sitis wants to give birth four more times? 92 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,680 Seven more times. 93 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:04,000 But, well, she's already got three children, so... 94 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,880 Yeah, but those ones will be dead. 95 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,160 -Keep up. -[Gabriel laughs] 96 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,520 We're not bringing the old ones back? 97 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:11,920 Well of course not! 98 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,320 But we're giving them new ones. 99 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,360 I think they quite like the old ones. 100 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,240 -And, and if... if we kill them. -Aziraphale... 101 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,520 we are the good guys. 102 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,800 Okay? We're not killing anyone. 103 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,880 What we are doing is simply not stopping hell. 104 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,040 What they do is up to them. 105 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,880 What comes after K? 106 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,480 Ah, you startled me. 107 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,560 -Is that good? -I just didn't see you coming. 108 00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:57,720 Right. 109 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,840 Perhaps you could make a noise when you move around. 110 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,680 -Yes. -After K is L. 111 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,840 But look, what exactly are you doing? 112 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,480 Oh, I thought I'd make the books easier to find, 113 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,600 so I thought if I put them in alphabetical order. 114 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,720 Alphabetical... by author? 115 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:16,920 What's "author"? 116 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,480 No, I was shelving the books 117 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,400 by the first letter of the first sentence. 118 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,840 But no-one would ever-- Jolly good. Good idea. 119 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,200 Thank you, Jim. Carry on. 120 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,320 And now I will make a noise when I move around. 121 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:30,280 Right. 122 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,680 [makes creaky noise] 123 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,080 Not that. 124 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,760 -[makes groaning sound] -Or that. 125 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:48,600 [singing] ♪ Every day It's a getting closer ♪ 126 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,200 ♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪ 127 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:58,520 ♪ A love like yours will Surely come my way ♪ 128 00:06:58,600 --> 00:06:59,480 ♪ A-hey... ♪ 129 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,320 What are you singing? 130 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,960 Am I singing? Err... 131 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,560 ♪ A-hey, a-hey... ♪ 132 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:10,160 I guess I was. [laughs] 133 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,360 Perhaps I made it up. 134 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,680 "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." 135 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,720 That goes under I. 136 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,200 You're in trouble. 137 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,480 Obviously. 138 00:07:43,159 --> 00:07:46,360 Former Demon, hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. 139 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:48,480 How will our hero cope? 140 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,880 -Are you making fun of me? -Would you know if I was? 141 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:54,159 Mind if I come in? 142 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,040 -Gabriel has disappeared. -So I understand. 143 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,800 I've spoke with Beelzebub, 144 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,840 and we believe Aziraphale has something to do with it. 145 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,560 Yeah, that sounds unlikely. 146 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,680 A miracle of enormous power happened last night. 147 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,400 The kind of miracle 148 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:15,080 only the mightiest of archangels could've performed. 149 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,520 Mm? 150 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,560 Somewhere very close to your friend's bookshop. 151 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,240 Are you telling me you don't know what caused it? 152 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,840 How'd you know I didn't do it? 153 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,800 Help us, and we will be grateful. 154 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,800 And otherwise, 155 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,200 you'll be disliked by Heaven, 156 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,760 hunted and eliminated by Hell. 157 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,000 [engine starts] 158 00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:42,880 So you do understand I'm threatening you? 159 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:57,040 [theme music plays] 160 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,400 Ah, Maggie! 161 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,360 You know music. 162 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,360 What can you tell me about a song that goes: 163 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:35,160 [sings] ♪ Every day It's a getting stronger ♪ 164 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,640 ♪ Love like that will ♪ 165 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,520 -♪ Surely come my way ♪ -[cries] 166 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,960 Oh. You're crying. 167 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,080 I'm not. [sniffs] 168 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,520 Do you actually think you aren't? Because I-- 169 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:51,480 Yes, I know I'm crying. It's just a thing you say. 170 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,720 Oh, yes. Of course. 171 00:10:55,440 --> 00:11:00,320 Then may I ask why you... aren't crying? 172 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,480 Well, I'm certainly not crying over her. 173 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,320 [Aziraphale] No, no. Naturally not. 174 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,240 I mean, sure, 175 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:14,160 it took me months to nerve myself up to even bring her an LP 176 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,960 and then absolutely, we got locked in the coffee shop last night 177 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:19,520 and granted I then made a complete arse of myself, 178 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,000 and she already has a partner! 179 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,200 But apart from that, I'm pretty sure I'm in love. 180 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,760 -Ah... -But she hates me and... 181 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,840 -What am I gonna do? -Um... 182 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,920 Can I get back to you on that? 183 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,560 I think right now I'm a bit out of miracles. 184 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,360 Yeah. Don't worry. I've got it. 185 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,280 And you're quite right, 186 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,800 it's not your job to sort out my doomed love life. 187 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,720 The song is called "Everyday" by Buddy Holly and Norman Petty. 188 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,000 It was the B-side to the "Peggy Sue" single 189 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,000 released on the Coral label in 1957. 190 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,680 Oh. Jolly good. 191 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,720 -Do you have a copy? -Mm. Too many of them. 192 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,120 There's a pub in Edinburgh. 193 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:06,320 I send them singles for the jukebox, 194 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,600 and they send me back copies of Everyday. 195 00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:12,000 They say every record they play eventually just turns into that song, 196 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,840 which is mad, but they're Scottish, so... 197 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,120 Here. 198 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,640 Oh no. 199 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,240 -No, that's not good at all. -What? 200 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:29,400 -They're here. Can't you feel them? -Who's here? 201 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,120 And he's there on his own! 202 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,520 Ah. Well, well. 203 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:48,560 -Fancy meeting you here. -[Michael] Aziraphale! 204 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,280 I think you know why we're here. 205 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:53,760 -We are looking-- -Greetings! I'm Jim! 206 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,200 It's short for James, but I don't need to keep telling everyone that. 207 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,280 I'm an assistant book seller. 208 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,360 Gabriel. 209 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,640 -Where is Gabriel? -Gabriel? 210 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,720 You know sometimes people call me Gabriel. 211 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,400 -Shall we discuss this inside? -Yes! 212 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,520 By all means. 213 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,760 Would you like to come in? 214 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,120 Hooray! Let the book selling commence! 215 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:27,640 Uh, Jim, leave these good people alone. 216 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,120 They, they don't want any books. 217 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,640 Well, that's because they haven't tried them. 218 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,160 Books are keen! Let me show you. 219 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,360 Did you think we wouldn't see the plume? 220 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,840 The... The plume? What plume? 221 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,240 The huge plume of miraculous activity. 222 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,840 Last night. From this shop. 223 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:47,320 Nearly 25 Lazarii. 224 00:13:48,280 --> 00:13:50,200 Don't tell me you did it? 225 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:52,600 I, I suppose I, um... 226 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,920 I might have done a miracle. 227 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,120 And what was this miracle for, Aziraphale? 228 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,360 Something that powerful must have been important. 229 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,360 These little bendy ones make a neato fan! 230 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,720 It was, um... 231 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:09,920 Err... Um, love! Yes! 232 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,440 Yes, um, you see, uh... 233 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:16,360 Maggie, who err, who owns the record shop 234 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,520 is in love. 235 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:21,600 It, it's what humans do. 236 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,640 Uh, with Nina, over the road. 237 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,200 And, and Ni-Nina doesn't love her back. 238 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,520 And, um, well, Maggie's my tenant, 239 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:35,840 so I, um... I did a big, big miracle... 240 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:41,720 uh, to make it so that she and Nina, err... 241 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,320 fell in love. 242 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,440 -And did it work? -Oh... Yes! Yes. 243 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,480 It, it worked brilliantly, yes. 244 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,280 Head over heels in love. 245 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:55,400 So the miracle was nothing to do with Gabriel's disappearance then? 246 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,720 Gabriel? 247 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:04,000 Oh, you mentioned you're looking for Gabriel. 248 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,720 -Did we? -Yes. 249 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:08,840 Mm! 250 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,320 And see, the big ones can be used as fly swats. 251 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,360 I know what you're thinking, but it's okay, 252 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,200 because the beauty part is, it never works. 253 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,920 [fly buzzing] 254 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,360 Don't I... 255 00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,800 Don't I know you? 256 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,400 Yes. 257 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,360 You do. 258 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,080 I'm the assistant bookseller. 259 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,520 I opened the door for you. 260 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,000 I'll send someone tomorrow morning to log and verify the miracle. 261 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,480 We'll be keeping a very close eye on you, Aziraphale. 262 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,000 That's very, very professional of you. 263 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,640 What... what about me? 264 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:54,520 Uh, guys, shouldn't you keep a close eye on me too? 265 00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,160 They seemed nice. 266 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,600 ["Everyday" by Buddy Holly plays] 267 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:08,240 ♪ Everyday it's gettin' closer ♪ 268 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,600 ♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪ 269 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,600 ♪ Love like yours will ♪ 270 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,480 ♪ Surely come my way ♪ 271 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,640 ♪ A-hey, a-he-hey ♪ 272 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,520 ♪ Everyday, it's a gettin' faster ♪ 273 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:26,120 ♪ Everyone says: go ahead and ask her ♪ 274 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,240 [fading] ♪ Love like yours will... ♪ 275 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,000 Oh, we're going to the pub! 276 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,440 -You never go to the pub! -We're in the pub now. 277 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,760 -What's wrong with the coffee shop? -Well, that is precisely the point. 278 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,320 Sherry for me please, a large one. 279 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,280 Ah... 280 00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,480 Large Talisker, please. And a sherry for Lady Brackney. 281 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:57,680 Mr. Fell! 282 00:16:58,360 --> 00:16:59,920 Oh... Hello? 283 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,040 Brown, from Brown's World of Carpets. 284 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,200 We met at the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association 285 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,839 annual meeting several years ago. 286 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,599 -Of course. -You said back then 287 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,319 that you'd be delighted to host one of our monthly get-togethers. 288 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,000 I did? 289 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:16,800 Every time I would look into your shop, you'd be closed! 290 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,040 If I was a superstitious man, I would have taken it personally! 291 00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:21,079 -Indeed. -Yes. 292 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,640 So, we all need to talk about the council's proposed 293 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,160 rubbish collection times and the Winter Street Lights campaign. 294 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,040 -Oh, I, I'm afraid that-- -A sherry for you. 295 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,880 Whisky for me... Hello. 296 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:33,960 Oh, Mr. Fell has just been telling me how much he's looking forward 297 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,280 to hosting our monthly street association get-together. 298 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,200 -Ooh, you astonish me. -So, look, I'll send over all the details, 299 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,800 but Thursday night after closing. 300 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,080 See? This is why I don't go to the pub. 301 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:48,920 It was your idea! 302 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,080 There's something urgent I need to talk to you about. 303 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,240 Yes, same here. Last night's miracle. 304 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,080 Right. And we can't talk about it in the café. 305 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,440 -Because? -It's about the woman in the café! 306 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,280 Her name's Nina. 307 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,200 Maggie in the record shop has a... 308 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,040 pash on her... 309 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,040 and doesn't know how to conduct a courtship. 310 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,560 We've got a real problem and it's in your bookshop right now! 311 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,160 Same problem. 312 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:15,040 Our Gabriel miracle last night set off alarms in Heaven. 313 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:16,960 -Ahh! -They suspect something! 314 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,280 And so, I told them I'd made Nina and Maggie fall in love. 315 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,040 Why? 316 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,880 -It was the first thing I could think of. -And they believed you? 317 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,920 They're sending someone to check. 318 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,160 Great. Do a little miracle, wiggle your fingers about, 319 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,080 Nina falls for Maggie, problem solved. 320 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,560 Ah, miracles don't work like that. 321 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,320 So, what are you proposing? 322 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,520 We... fix it. 323 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,800 Nina and Maggie fall in love. Heaven's suspicions are allayed. 324 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,720 You mean like a sudden rainstorm 325 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,720 forces them together beneath a canopy? 326 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,080 They look into each other's eyes... 327 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,280 And realize they were made for each other? 328 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:59,080 -Sounds a bit unlikely. -No, no, no. No. No. 329 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,320 Get humans wet and staring into each other's eyes, 330 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,200 vavoom, sorted. 331 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,800 I saw it in a Richard Curtis film. 332 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,080 If you're going to invoke fiction, 333 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,440 -you might as well do it properly. -Properly? 334 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,200 -You remember Jane Austen? -Yeah. 335 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,080 I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? 336 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,560 The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. 337 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,200 Brandy smuggler. Master spy. 338 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,200 What a piece of work. 339 00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:28,400 She wrote books. Novels. 340 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,200 -Jane? Austen? -Yes! 341 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,800 Whoa, bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh? 342 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,800 Yes. They were very good. 343 00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:41,560 Well. No, I'm just surprised, that's all. 344 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:42,920 You think you know someone. 345 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,080 -She had balls. -Well. 346 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,000 Cotillion balls. 347 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,280 People would gather and do some formal dancing 348 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,000 and then realize they had misunderstood each other 349 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,160 and were actually deeply in love. 350 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:58,880 -Now that sounds unlikely. -Works every time apparently. 351 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,400 And there's something else, I'll show you the record. 352 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,480 I think it may be... a Clue. 353 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,560 I'm lost. Am I doing a rainstorm? 354 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:07,640 Come on! I want to show you the Clue! 355 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,440 Whatever you've found out, don't call it a "Clue". 356 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,560 But it is a Clue. 357 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:18,320 Well, at least don't pronounce the capital letter. 358 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,280 Gabriel was singing this morning, a song. 359 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,440 Wha... what? 360 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,800 Have you ever heard a song that goes, 361 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,800 [singing] ♪ Every day, it's a getting closer? ♪ 362 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,800 -No. -Well, that's what he was singing. 363 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:29,080 A human song. 364 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,240 And there is an actual mystery associated with that song. 365 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,560 And that is the Clue! Yeah. 366 00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:37,000 Not another word. 367 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,320 Jane Austen. Wrote books too. 368 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,480 You people, I will never get the hang of you lot. 369 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,920 Ah, Jim. Now, tell me. What do you know? 370 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,640 Okay. 371 00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,560 "Whaddayaknow." 372 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,000 No, I mean, what's the first thing you remember? 373 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,520 I remember a song I sang this morning. 374 00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,320 But where did you hear it? 375 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:11,440 I heard it this morning. It came out of my mouth. 376 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,000 Oh, and I remember those three nice people that were in the shop just now. 377 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:17,080 You do? 378 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,640 Yes. They were in the shop, just now. 379 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,880 Ah, you can do better than that. 380 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,960 Come on, think! 381 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:28,160 Think hard! What is the very first thing you remember? 382 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,400 I remember when the morning stars sang together, 383 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,280 and all the Angels of God shouted for joy. 384 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,640 Yes! Oh yes, yes! That's right! 385 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:44,880 -No... -Keep going! 386 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,320 -I can't. -Yes, you can. 387 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:47,800 I can't! I can't! 388 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,440 I can't remember those things. 389 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,080 My, my head isn't big enough. Not anymore. 390 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,320 Yes, I, I see. Um... 391 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,160 I'm sorry Jim. 392 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,440 But you've done awfully well. 393 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,120 Have a rest now. 394 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:17,120 Your boss said that to Job, do you remember? 395 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,200 I most certainly do. 396 00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:41,280 -[Job] My children? -[Crowley] Mmm. 397 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,440 Are they around? Only I need them for a... thing. 398 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,520 I'm not sure. 399 00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,320 Sitis will know. 400 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,560 Sorry, you've... you've come at rather a bad time. 401 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,720 Well, yeah, yeah, so I can see. What happened? 402 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,640 God has forsaken me and delivered me to demons. 403 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,800 [Crowley] Oh! You must be furious? 404 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,280 I burn with fury. 405 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:04,680 Course you do. 406 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,720 After all your devotion to God. 407 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,440 Not at God! 408 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,280 Fury at myself. 409 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,280 Yourself? Why, what have you done? 410 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:14,360 [Job] I don't know. 411 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:18,800 And how sunk in sin must I be not only to deserve all this, 412 00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,360 but not even to know why. 413 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,120 [Sitis] What is it now? 414 00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:24,000 Ah, Sitis my dear. 415 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:26,800 This... person was looking for the children. 416 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,480 Why? Who are you? 417 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:32,400 Just an old friend. Here to offer some comfort. 418 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,080 What 'old friend'? 419 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:35,800 You tell me. 420 00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,720 Oh... Bildad the Shuhite? 421 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,280 Sure. So, the kids. 422 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:45,560 Where are they? 423 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,200 Oh. Not now Bildad the Shuhite. 424 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,000 Good of you to look in, but we're a tiny bit busy 425 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:51,120 weathering the wrath of God. 426 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,120 Well, yeah. 427 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,760 I thought you could do with someone to check up on the kids. 428 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:57,440 No. 429 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:58,560 God wouldn't! 430 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:00,640 Are you sure? 431 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,160 But they've done nothing! They're innocent! 432 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,880 So were the goats. 433 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,880 Mmmm. Nice gaff. 434 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:25,600 Shame... 435 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:28,000 Crowley! 436 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:30,520 You don't have to destroy Job's children. 437 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,920 Last time we met you seemed pretty confident 438 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,840 I couldn't destroy Job's goats. 439 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,760 Yes. I was wrong. 440 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:40,800 -Technically you can, but-- -Oh, then technically I will. 441 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,160 But you don't have to! That's the point. 442 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,640 Surely the great thing about being a demon 443 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,720 is you can do whatever you want. 444 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,480 -Mm, you sound jealous, angel. -Certainly not. 445 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,960 I get to do what God wants. 446 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,960 Like killing innocent children to win a bet with Satan? 447 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,240 I... I don't think... 448 00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:01,160 -that is what God wants. -Well... 449 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,200 And I don't think you want it either. 450 00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,320 What do you know about what I want? 451 00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:10,320 -I know you. -You do not know me 452 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,320 I know the angel you were. 453 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,560 The angel you knew is not me. 454 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,040 Then... Then you tell me that you want to do this. 455 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,160 You look me in the eye and tell me. 456 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:28,840 I want to. 457 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,960 I long to destroy the blameless children of blameless Job, 458 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,680 just as I destroyed his blameless goats. 459 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,040 Then God forgive you. 460 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:01,320 [goat bleating] 461 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:05,480 [bleating] 462 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,160 [birds bleat] 463 00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,280 [bleats] 464 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:24,760 [goats bleating] 465 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:25,880 Well? 466 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,160 -[Crowley] You can stop grinning. -[Aziraphale] I'm not grinning. 467 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:34,000 Doesn't mean we're on the same side. 468 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:35,320 No! No... 469 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,200 Temporarily not on different sides. 470 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,600 -Just as you say. -[door opens] 471 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,760 Be not afraid! 472 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:50,040 I am an angel of the Lord thy God. 473 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,520 Oh. Have you brought the wine Daddy prayed for? 474 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,680 -For the party? -Err, err... No. 475 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,480 I have no wine, child. 476 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,600 -I bring-- -Ennon! 477 00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:03,200 -What is it? -The angels are here. 478 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,160 Just not our usual ones. 479 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,120 And they haven't brought the wine. 480 00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:11,680 Well them you'd better pop off and get it now, hadn't you? 481 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,360 Ooh, he seems nice. 482 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,040 I bring a warning! 483 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:28,240 Satan has sent a demon to destroy you! 484 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,280 -Tonight! -Don't be silly. 485 00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:31,400 He wouldn't dare. 486 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:34,320 I'm sorry, Satan? 487 00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:36,480 -Satan wouldn't dare? -Certainly not. 488 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:38,400 You see, I'm Keziah, daughter of Job. 489 00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,440 I'm Ennon, son of Job. 490 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,720 And I'm Jemimah! I made this pot! 491 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:43,920 -Oh. -She did. 492 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:45,960 But also: daughter of Job. 493 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,160 You know, the Job? 494 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,320 Literally God's favorite human. 495 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:52,840 Yes, I know who you are. 496 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,080 -You're a funny looking angel. -Aren't I just? 497 00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,600 Are you a demon? 498 00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:01,680 Oh, she's good. 499 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:07,200 Ah... Yes. He is in fact technically a demon. 500 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,320 Spot on. 501 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:12,520 Sent here to destroy you all! 502 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,200 Ready? 503 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,640 [children scream] 504 00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:17,840 But... you said you wouldn't. 505 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,000 I'm a demon. I lied. Ah! 506 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:22,440 Can't you save us? 507 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,720 I'm afraid not. He has a permit, you see. 508 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,560 But... be not afraid. 509 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,120 You're perfectly safe. 510 00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:36,520 Are you sure, Angel? 511 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,800 Yes. Quite sure. 512 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:46,840 [screaming] 513 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,000 What happened? We're in the cellar. 514 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:56,680 I knew it! 515 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:58,080 Wind, I assume. 516 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,640 That's what Satan really has planned. 517 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,280 A mighty wind from the wilderness 518 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:06,000 to smite the mansion and bring it down upon them. 519 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,160 Ooh, aren't you brilliant? 520 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:12,360 Actually I, I think getting us all in the cellar was very clever. 521 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,480 -Will someone please tell me... -[snaps fingers] 522 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:15,840 ...what-- 523 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,000 What have you done to him? 524 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:23,200 This. [snaps fingers] 525 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,560 [laughs] 526 00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,240 Can I be a blue one? 527 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,480 It's alright. You haven't annoyed me yet. 528 00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:38,680 But can I be? 529 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,600 Oh. Sure. 530 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,360 Oh. They've started early. 531 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,360 Well... 532 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,040 Might as well get comfortable. 533 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:17,040 Are you... drinking human wine? 534 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:18,960 It's the source of drunkenness. 535 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:20,560 Isn't it just? 536 00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,040 [Crowley] Mmmm. 537 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,440 Very promising little vineyard. 538 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,920 [wrenching] 539 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,760 Yeah alright, you don't drink. 540 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:36,120 Try the food, though. 541 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,800 You can't get drunk on food. 542 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,080 Go on. 543 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:45,440 Have an ox-rib. 544 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:51,000 Are you trying to tempt me? 545 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,320 Not at all. Angels can't be tempted, can you? 546 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,360 -Certainly not. -Well, there you are then. 547 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:56,840 You're free to try the food. 548 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:24,640 [gasps] 549 00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:27,640 Oh, I say. 550 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,800 Cheers. 551 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:54,080 Come on! You're a little bit on our side. 552 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,080 Not even the littlest. 553 00:31:57,160 --> 00:31:59,000 [Aziraphale] Well, you're not on Hell's side. 554 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:03,400 I go along with Hell as far as I can. 555 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:06,800 So whose side are you on? 556 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:08,360 My side. 557 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:10,280 Gosh. 558 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:12,200 Well, that sounds... 559 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,080 What? 560 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:15,720 Lonely. 561 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,960 Lonely? No, not lonely. 562 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:21,520 Whose side are you on? 563 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,240 God's, of course! 564 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,880 Oh, really? 565 00:32:27,560 --> 00:32:29,840 The same God that wants me to whack the kids? 566 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:33,800 Yes. 567 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,440 -But... -Yeah... 568 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,360 That's just how it started for me. 569 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,280 See you in Hell. 570 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:52,680 [God's voice muffled] 571 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,120 Oh, my God! 572 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,960 Blasphemy, Angel? That's not like... you. 573 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,800 No, look! Oh... 574 00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,080 My God! 575 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,560 [God] Job, if you have questions for me, 576 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:13,240 I have questions for you. 577 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,480 Do you know how I created the earth? 578 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,920 Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth, Job? 579 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,960 Were you there when all the morning stars sang together 580 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,280 and all the angels shouted for joy? 581 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:25,840 -Is God actually... -I think so. 582 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,200 ...talking to him? 583 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,360 [God continues muffled] 584 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,120 -I don't suppose he's getting any answers. -[Crowley] No. 585 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,920 But just to be able to ask the question. 586 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,360 [God] Do you know the rules of the heavens? 587 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,280 Did you set the constellations in the sky? 588 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,960 Can you send lightning bolts and get them to report back to you? 589 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:47,600 Did you give wings to peacocks, Job, 590 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,640 or teach the ostrich to run? 591 00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:56,040 What did God say? 592 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:00,280 Um... I'm not sure. 593 00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,120 I didn't understand much. 594 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,040 Things too wonderful for me. 595 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,159 Ostriches came into it. 596 00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:12,480 -Ostriches? -And whales. 597 00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:15,800 God's very proud of the whale. 598 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:20,880 Went into some detail about... how great whales are. 599 00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:23,080 They explain? 600 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,960 I think the point was, 601 00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:30,880 if you want answers, 602 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,040 come back when you can make a whale. 603 00:34:35,639 --> 00:34:36,560 And the children? 604 00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:40,000 Did They mention the children? 605 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:41,440 No. 606 00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:42,360 No. 607 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:54,000 Virtuous Job, 608 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,880 you have passed God's test. 609 00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:58,400 Prepare for your reward. 610 00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,520 Behold, where you have lost 300 sheep, 611 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,680 the Lord grants you 600! 612 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:06,680 [applause] 613 00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,120 [Aziraphale] Sorry, sorry. 614 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:14,640 What do you say? 615 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:16,880 Thank you? 616 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,960 Well, don't thank me. Thank God! 617 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,480 You want me to thank God for sheep? 618 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,080 Our children. 619 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:26,880 What about our children? 620 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:27,840 [Gabriel] Yes, yeah, yes... 621 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:29,800 I was... I was, I was getting to that! 622 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,040 For Lo, 623 00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:35,160 though your three children are completely dead, 624 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:40,760 God now grants that you may conceive seven more children! 625 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,920 [applause] 626 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,960 -Our children are dead? -Yeah. 627 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,640 But I loved my children! 628 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,640 I don't... I don't want more children. 629 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:55,320 If my children are dead, then I will curse God and... 630 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,360 Whoa! Ho-ho... 631 00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,800 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... That never ends well. 632 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:04,040 Remember me? Bildad the Shuhite? 633 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,280 -Um... -Who is this? 634 00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:10,160 Err, he says he's Bildad the Shuhite? 635 00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:13,160 And so I am. Bildad the Shuhite. 636 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:14,400 [Job keeps crying] 637 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:15,840 Need any shoes? 638 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,600 Shuhite of course means from the land of Shua. 639 00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:24,560 -Yes. -Indeed, it does. 640 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:29,160 Where, as it happens, I am a leading shoemaker. 641 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:33,200 What, you think they don't wear shoes in Shua? 642 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,480 Yes, well, it would be really useful 643 00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:41,120 if you were an expert on human births? 644 00:36:42,160 --> 00:36:45,200 Then this is your lucky day! 645 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,000 Shoemaking and obstetrics. 646 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:51,000 Those have always been the twin passions of Bildad the Shuhite. 647 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:52,480 What seems to be the trouble? 648 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:55,280 Well, um, Sitis here 649 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,640 has just learned that she is to have lots more children. 650 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:00,680 Oh! Well! 651 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,360 Let's get started! No need to be shy, Sitis. 652 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,440 I am a professional midwife slash cobbler. 653 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,760 And I'm sure these angelic entities have seen it all before. 654 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:12,840 Yes, in fact Gabriel here 655 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:17,600 has personally witnessed childbirth in the Garden of Eden. 656 00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,600 -[chuckles] -Have you now? Wow. 657 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:24,800 Then I'd better be on my toes, under the eyes of an expert. 658 00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,880 [laughs] 659 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,160 -Oh... -Ah, um... 660 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,760 [whispers] ...exactly what I say. Trust me. 661 00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:32,960 Um... 662 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,480 Now, good lady, 663 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,560 simply turn to your husband, 664 00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:41,640 reach into his robes... 665 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:45,160 H-higher. Higher. 666 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,480 Uh, a little higher... 667 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:51,680 That's it! And pull out three of his ribs. 668 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:55,080 Oh yeah. Uh, ribs. It's... Don't worry. 669 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,280 It's all part of the process. I've seen this before. 670 00:37:58,680 --> 00:37:59,680 [he groans] 671 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:07,360 And to complete the process, a simple embrace. 672 00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:19,320 [Job groans] 673 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:22,280 -Mummy! -Oh! 674 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:24,360 [applause] 675 00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,480 But... they're not babies. 676 00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:31,200 Certainly not. 677 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:32,640 Was Eve a baby? 678 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:33,920 -[Michael] Was she? -No, no. 679 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:35,400 They can arrive in any size. 680 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,640 Ennon, my boy! 681 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,440 -Ennon? -[Crowley] No, no, no. 682 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,320 Not Ennon, Job. Ennon's gone. 683 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:43,520 This is your new son. 684 00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:45,840 -But it is-- -A miracle. 685 00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:49,600 It is a miracle that our new son 686 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,640 should look so much like our old son. 687 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,640 -But it is-- -No, Job. Look. 688 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:58,200 It's not Ennon, it's a new child. 689 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:02,080 These are all... They're all new children. 690 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:06,520 No, you're right! It's not Ennon. 691 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,000 Yes, it bloody is. 692 00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:14,320 Aziraphale, are these the new children God promised Job? 693 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,080 They certainly seem to be. 694 00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:21,120 [Michael] No, they certainly ought to be. 695 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,120 But they seem to be his old children. 696 00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,640 Aziraphale, who are they? 697 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:31,160 [Aziraphale] They are... 698 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:38,160 His new children. 699 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,080 I... You have my word as an angel. 700 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,600 Well, that's alright then. Huh? 701 00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,640 Why didn't you just say so? 702 00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:55,520 Congratulations! 703 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:57,600 [Gabriel laughs] 704 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,280 Crowley? 705 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,120 [Gabriel] He went away. 706 00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:15,840 While you were thinking. 707 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,160 You know, you really used to be... 708 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:22,400 awful. 709 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:24,960 I mean, so awful. 710 00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,600 Am I awful now? 711 00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:30,920 I don't know. 712 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:34,080 I hope not. 713 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:37,560 Oh... Good. 714 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,480 You're the one from yesterday. Struck by lightning. 715 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,560 It looked worse than it was. 716 00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:12,360 Mr. Six Espressos In a Big Cup. 717 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,400 Silly questions, but how do you feel about sudden rain? 718 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,960 Yeah. That's a silly question alright. 719 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:23,560 No, but in the event of a sudden torrential downpour, 720 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,960 would you be likely to shelter under an awning? 721 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:29,360 Wow. It-- 722 00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:31,440 It's like you've looked deep into my secret soul. 723 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,040 Well, it's a knack. 724 00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,080 For instance... 725 00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,920 Oh? Maggie? 726 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,160 Oh, err, no. Not a thing. Definitely. 727 00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,760 We're just friends. 728 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,480 Actually, we're not friends. We barely know each other. 729 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,600 We just got trapped in the shop when the power went out. 730 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:47,920 My partner was not impressed. 731 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,760 Well, not a pleasant evening. That's all. 732 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,000 Gotcha. 733 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:02,480 Do you need a lift somewhere? 734 00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:03,960 Err, no. Thank you. 735 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,800 I was trying to tell you about this. 736 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:07,280 My Clue. 737 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,640 -"The Resurrectionist." -Pub. 738 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,160 Has a jukebox. 739 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:15,840 This record was found on the jukebox. 740 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:17,200 So what? 741 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:20,400 So first it wasn't on the jukebox. 742 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,520 It doesn't seem to matter what people in the pub want to listen to, 743 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,320 sooner or later every record turns into this. 744 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:30,880 It is, as you might say... a miracle. 745 00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:32,280 Ooh. 746 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:36,560 So, I thought I might pop up there myself 747 00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,160 and investigate! 748 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,360 Fair enough. What time's your train? 749 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:43,440 Actually I rather thought I might take the car. 750 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,880 -What car? -Our car. 751 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,200 -We don't have a car. -Of course we do. 752 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:53,880 Isn't she a beauty? 753 00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,160 This Bentley is my car. 754 00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,080 Well, yes, technically. 755 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:01,320 Just as that bookshop is technically my shop, 756 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,160 but... we both get plenty of use out of it, don't we? 757 00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:06,640 You can't drive my Bentley. 758 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,480 No, I can! I have a license, yes. 759 00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,680 I passed my driving test 90 years ago. 760 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,400 They didn't even require tests, but I insisted. 761 00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:15,520 No. 762 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:16,920 Don't worry! 763 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:20,640 -I'll be very, very careful. -No! 764 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:24,160 And while I'm gone, you can look after the bookshop. 765 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:25,840 And Gabriel. 766 00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:27,000 Yes? 767 00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,480 [Gabriel] "It was the day my grandmother exploded." 768 00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:41,120 "It is a truth universally acknowledged 769 00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,680 that a single man in possession of a good fortune 770 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,760 must be in want of a wife." 771 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,560 Whatever that is. 772 00:44:02,880 --> 00:44:04,440 "It was a nice day." 773 00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,440 That's more like it. 774 00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:36,280 Ah. Yes, I thought perhaps they might send you. 775 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:40,760 Well... 776 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,320 I'm ready to go. 777 00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,400 -Go where? -To Hell. 778 00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,760 I'm not taking you to Hell, Angel. 779 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:56,880 Why not? 780 00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:58,880 Well, I don't think you'd like it. 781 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:02,200 But you have to. 782 00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:06,560 I'm like you now. 783 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:08,640 A demon. 784 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,360 [laughs] 785 00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:18,680 Sorry. 786 00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:21,800 You think you're a demon? 787 00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:26,280 With your curly little... and your neat white... 788 00:45:26,360 --> 00:45:28,360 I'm a fallen angel! 789 00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,240 I lied. 790 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,120 To thwart the will of God. 791 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,520 Well yeah, you did, but... 792 00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:41,120 I'm not gonna tell anybody. 793 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:43,000 Are you? 794 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,560 No. Then nothing has to change, does it? 795 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:13,920 But what am I? 796 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:18,680 You're just an angel who goes along with Heaven 797 00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:20,560 as far as he can. 798 00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:26,480 That sounds, um... 799 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:28,840 Lonely? 800 00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:32,280 Yeah. 801 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:35,960 But you said it wasn't. 802 00:46:37,400 --> 00:46:38,320 I'm a demon. 803 00:46:39,720 --> 00:46:40,760 I lied. 804 00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:55,120 [theme music plays]