1 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,280 Ahh! 2 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,120 [phone beeps] 3 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,480 Take my advice, you won't look at it. 4 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:36,000 I've told you. 5 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,080 You make better coffee when you're happier. The girls notice. 6 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,000 -I'm perfectly happy. -[phone beeps] 7 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:42,480 That'll be your Lindsay texting again. 8 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,120 I don't believe my relationship is any concern of yours. 9 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,120 Obviously not. 10 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:50,640 Save where it intrudes on my girls' welfare and quality of life and coffee. 11 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,840 [car honks, man whistles] 12 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:54,920 Oh, that's nice. 13 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,400 Somebody's got a sense of humor, or an interesting kink. 14 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,200 Either way, puts a smile on your face. 15 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,200 [Nina] Last one, double Americano with oat milk and hazelnut syrup. 16 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,640 Well. Not on your face, Nina love. 17 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:10,480 Obviously. 18 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,560 [radio playing music, knocking on door] 19 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,520 [Muriel] Open up! Police! 20 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:35,640 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! 21 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,080 What's all this then? 22 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:40,520 Good morning, officer. 23 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,440 Yes! Exactly! 24 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,680 I'm a human police officer. 25 00:01:44,759 --> 00:01:46,840 Hmm. I thought you probably were. 26 00:01:47,479 --> 00:01:48,800 Did you? Really? 27 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:50,840 Oh, wonderful. 28 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,440 Well, you're right. I am one. 29 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:56,640 Jolly good. And err, how can I help you? 30 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:58,520 Well, sir. [clears throat] 31 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,320 As you may know, as a human police officer, 32 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:05,120 I can unobtrusively monitor you without raising suspicion. 33 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,560 -Indeed you can. -Great! 34 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,160 Well, could I come in and do it inside please? 35 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,480 Only cause it's really noisy out here and I can't hear anything. 36 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:15,520 By all means. 37 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,040 Cup of tea, officer? 38 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,440 Umm... Yes? 39 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,400 A human police officer would generally accept a cup of tea. 40 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,880 Ah! Then so shall I. 41 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:51,600 To drink. 42 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,360 Ah! 43 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,880 You know, I think I'll just look at mine for a while. 44 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,000 -As you please. -Great! 45 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:20,320 I always say the best part of a "cupperty" is looking at it. 46 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:23,920 This is ridiculous! 47 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,000 Why don't you just go by train? You love trains. 48 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:30,680 Who's this now? 49 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,680 This is a human police officer 50 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,120 who's just popped in to have a quick look at a cup of tea. 51 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,040 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. 52 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,320 -Tell me, Constable-- -Inspector. 53 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,360 Oh... You know, you are dressed as a constable. 54 00:03:46,079 --> 00:03:47,560 Inspector Constable! 55 00:03:48,079 --> 00:03:50,160 -That's my name. -Of course it is. 56 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,040 First visit to Earth, is it, by any chance? 57 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,240 Yes! It's amazing, isn't it? Just the-- 58 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,280 Or rather, no. 59 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:12,440 Obviously I've been here for, like... 200 years. 60 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,680 Oh! But when I said yes just then, 61 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,000 that was an error, which proves that I'm human. 62 00:04:18,079 --> 00:04:19,600 Of course. 63 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:22,800 Perhaps you meant this is your first visit to London? 64 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,800 Yes! That's right. 65 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,360 I was recently transferred to London from another... 66 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:30,720 human settlement. 67 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,360 Oh yeah? Which one? 68 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,600 Word with you, Angel, in private. 69 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,360 But, no! But err... I'm supposed to observe you. 70 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:44,240 Oh, don't worry. 71 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,240 We can always tell you everything we talked about afterwards. 72 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:49,200 Ah, great! 73 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:51,000 Thanks! 74 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,160 I don't know how you lot have managed to stay in charge all this time. 75 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,160 I'm not sure we have, have we? 76 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:14,040 Where's Gabriel? What is that angel doing here? 77 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,240 Jim is in his bedroom upstairs. 78 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,480 I told him bookshops are always closed on a Wednesday. 79 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,440 As for Inspector Constable, 80 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,240 at a guess, they were sent to verify the 25 Lazarii miracle 81 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,200 you and I seem to have accidentally performed together the other night. 82 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,840 That's how you lot measure miracles? 83 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:31,400 How many times it could have brought someone back from the dead? 84 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,800 And I'm very much afraid that... 85 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,960 that angel out there will establish very quickly 86 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,840 that I lied to Heaven about the miracle in question. 87 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,280 Right. Well, we just need to get Nina to do the love thing with Maggie. 88 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,480 One fabulous kiss and we're good. I have a plan. 89 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,040 Excellent. Can I have the car keys? 90 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,159 Don't you want to hear my plan? Or, you know, go by train. 91 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,360 Car keys, please. 92 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,040 -[door opens] -All done? 93 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,640 Yes! Nothing you need to worry about. 94 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:59,480 Listen, you wouldn't be interested in humans falling in love, would you? 95 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:02,960 I... I know for some members of the police force it's a bit of a hobby! 96 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,520 Yes! Yes, I am! Oh, especially-- 97 00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,720 Maggie and Nina over the road. Ah, yes. 98 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,880 Well, we, humans of Earth have a saying: 99 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:14,880 you can only tell if people are in love by waiting a few days 100 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:17,400 because humans are weird and that's how it works. 101 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,760 Oh... yes! I knew that. 102 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,120 Well, don't hesitate to ask me 103 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,880 if you have any other questions about love, Inspector... Constable. 104 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,040 I'll just be here helping to run this bookshop 105 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,680 while my friend drives my car to Edinburgh. 106 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,520 -Excuse me... -What? I'm a bit busy. 107 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,280 Yes, I can see that. 108 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,800 But I just needed to ask you about your love life. 109 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,560 Get out. Now. 110 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,920 Now... We're going to Edinburgh. 111 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,320 [car honks] 112 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,080 [sighs] 113 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,480 [cars honking] 114 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:11,520 [theme music plays] 115 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:40,320 [Aziraphale] From the confidential journals of A.Z. Fell, 116 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,840 Volume 603. 117 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,600 Dear Diary, 118 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:49,280 last month Crowley and I both happened to be in Edinburgh. 119 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:55,880 And he insisted I visit a local graveyard at midnight. 120 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,880 He had come upon something he said that might amuse me. 121 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:04,640 A statue of the supreme archangel himself! 122 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,520 [Crowley] It's depressingly accurate. 123 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,400 It's definitely Gabriel. It's uncanny. 124 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:17,120 Do you think he knows? 125 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,760 Probably comes here to stare at it. 126 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,120 Marveling at his own beauty. 127 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,480 [girl groaning] 128 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:24,960 I think there's someone here. 129 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,880 This one's mine, ya bastards! 130 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,520 Rather strange time to be burying someone. 131 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:33,640 [Elspeth] I've got a spade. 132 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,640 If the two of you are still here in ten seconds, I'll use it on you. 133 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,880 [Crowley laughs] I like you! 134 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,720 Dinnae let us stop you. 135 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,120 [she groans] 136 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,000 Oh, this isn't good. 137 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,120 Well, depending on the point of view. 138 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,160 You say potato, I say excellent. 139 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,240 My side are gonna love a spot of bodysnatchin'. 140 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,040 Allow me to introduce myself. I'm-- 141 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,240 -[Elspeth] English? -Mr... McFell. 142 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:04,640 I just thought I should warn you that digging up bodies... 143 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:07,240 Well, it's wrong. 144 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,120 He's not using it anymore. 145 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,520 Just something for his family to cry over. 146 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:14,360 Now, would you like a wee hand with your corpse? 147 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,640 [Aziraphael] I resolved to show this young person 148 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,440 the error of her ways. 149 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,120 [Elspeth] It's not an easy job. 150 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,280 If the watch catch you, you'll swing for it. 151 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,280 It's not the danger of what you're doing. 152 00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,480 Don't you know that it's wrong? 153 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,200 All I know is there's a surgeon in Newington 154 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,120 who'll give me a great big wodge of cash for a fresh body like that one. 155 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,120 But you don't have to do this! 156 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,880 -You could be a bookseller. -I can't read very well. 157 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:42,960 I don't own a shop. 158 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,080 Well... a weaver then. 159 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,760 -Weaving! Brilliant idea. -Aye. 160 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,640 Though I can't quite remember exactly where I left my loom. 161 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:51,520 Farming. 162 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,320 Bet you left your loom on your farm, didn't you? 163 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,960 This piss-drenched patch is where me and my pal sleep. 164 00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,800 -[coughing] -You alright, wee Morag? 165 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,280 Never better, hen. Never better. 166 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,280 Just trying to keep wee Morag and me alive. 167 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,280 And it doesn't hurt anyone who isn't already dead. 168 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,520 So you can shove your morals up your arse, Mr. McFell. 169 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,680 -[more coughing] -[Elspeth] I've brought you something. 170 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,320 Oh, come on. I've already eaten. 171 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,520 Roasted chicken, butter potatoes, 172 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,600 two helpings of marmalade pudding for afters. 173 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,800 You're a filthy liar, Elspeth McInnes. 174 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,800 And a wee angel. 175 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,360 Aye. 176 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,760 What's in the barrel, hen? 177 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,320 You didn't. Please tell me you didn't. 178 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,520 Oh, she absolutely did. 179 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,760 Nice, fresh, body. 180 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,280 It was just this once! 181 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:42,280 I promise we can get seven, even eight pounds for a good one! 182 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:44,520 We can get a room in a proper boarding house, 183 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,920 not like the last one. 184 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,600 And you'll never go to bed hungry. 185 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,000 You're going to hell, hen. 186 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,680 Quite right. 187 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:01,400 It was wonderful to meet you, wee Morag. 188 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,280 There is a stolen body in that barrel! 189 00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:09,200 -This is wicked! -Oh, I'm down with wicked! 190 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,640 Anyway, is it wicked? She needed the money. 191 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:13,600 That is irrelevant. 192 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:17,720 Look, I am good. You, I'm afraid, are evil. 193 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,840 But people get a choice. 194 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:22,000 You know, they cannot be truly holy 195 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,480 unless they also get the opportunity to be wicked. 196 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,640 She is wicked. 197 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,960 Yeah, that only works if you start everyone off equal. 198 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,800 You can't start someone off like that 199 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,800 and expect her to do as well as someone born in a castle. 200 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,240 Ah, but no, no. That's the good bit. 201 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:41,600 The lower you start, the more opportunities you have. 202 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:46,600 So Elspeth here has all the opportunities because she's so poor. 203 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,520 -That's lunacy. -No, that's ineffable. 204 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:01,000 [classical music on radio] 205 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,520 Now you're getting it. 206 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,120 Oh, that's much better. 207 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,480 What do we do? 208 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:12,840 We play classical music that stays classical music. 209 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,760 [radio interference] 210 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,800 [Crowley on radio] Angel? What are you doing? 211 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:20,720 Nothing. 212 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,800 We're getting along terribly well together. 213 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,880 [Crowley] You realise I could feel when you drive 214 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,560 the Bentley under the speed limit. 215 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,120 -Well I'm sure you can't. -I can. 216 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,000 -So put your foot down! -Alright, alright. 217 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,120 I'm awfully sorry. 218 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,000 It doesn't seem to want to. 219 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,120 [Crowley] Was that a travel sweet? 220 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:52,560 No. 221 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,480 -Hmmm. -[honks] 222 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,400 [Crowley] My car does not make that noise. 223 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,040 -What are you doing to it? -Nothing. 224 00:14:00,560 --> 00:14:02,920 You've done something to the car, haven't you? I can feel it. 225 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,680 I really don't know what you mean. 226 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,480 [Crowley] My car is not yellow. It has never been yellow. 227 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:09,560 It is not going to start being yellow now! 228 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,240 -Change it back! -But it's pretty. 229 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:17,040 If you don't change it back right now, I'm gonna start selling people books! 230 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,040 In fact, I might even give some away. 231 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,600 [bell rings, man screams] 232 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,080 Is there any news about Gabriel yet? 233 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,560 Err, no. 234 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,880 No news of our accursed enemy, my lord. 235 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:09,760 No? 236 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:15,360 -Tell me the moment we learn anything. -Of course, Lord Beelzebub. 237 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:24,320 Do you ever think, 238 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,800 wouldn't it just be nice if someone told you what a good job you're doing? 239 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,560 -In hell? -Yeah. 240 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:32,600 I mean, I'm just happy when you don't sentence me 241 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,960 to the Dung Pits for pissing you off. 242 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,880 I mean, a day I don't get sent to the Dung Pits is a good day. 243 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,400 I mean, as long as there's a day that nobody rips out my tongue 244 00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:41,280 for talking too much. 245 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,400 A day when nobody sends you to the Dung Pits 246 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,440 or rips out your tongue for talking too-- 247 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:48,880 Am I talking too much? 248 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,680 Are you gonna rip out my tongue again? 249 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,240 I don't care. Just be quiet. 250 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,200 Right. 251 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,800 -You feeling alright? -Do you want to go to the Dung Pits? 252 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,080 Gravity. 253 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,640 It's, um... a thing that happens when objects are pulled together. 254 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,040 In this case, they're all pulled downwards 255 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,360 because the earth is the largest thing around. 256 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,120 Why? 257 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,080 Ah... 258 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,200 Honestly, um, I don't remember. 259 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:53,200 Seemed like a good idea when we were all talking about it. 260 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:59,880 So things would stay where you put them, not just drift off. 261 00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,680 But it doesn't stay where I put them. 262 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:03,600 It goes down. 263 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,079 Except for flies, they go up. 264 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:13,800 Well observed. 265 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,480 Right, so, the plan: Operation Lovebirds. 266 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,560 I'm gonna wait until they both happen to be near the awning, 267 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,680 then, sudden downpour, 268 00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:28,000 they're back out of the rain, bump into each other, 269 00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:30,680 look into each other's eyes and vavoom. 270 00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:34,560 -Vavoom? -That's the plan, yeah. 271 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,800 I haven't done weather in ages. 272 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:42,000 [Aziraphale] It was with heavy heart we arrived at Elspeth's destination. 273 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:46,240 I was determined to thwart her monstrous plan. 274 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,760 Doctor Dalrymple? 275 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,560 Mr. Dalrymple, FRCSE. 276 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,480 I'm a surgeon, not a doctor. 277 00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:00,880 I'm sorry to inform you that this is not pickled herring. 278 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,000 -And I'm afraid I must insist... -What do you want? 279 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:08,080 Oh, come on, Mr. Dalrymple, it's not brain surgery! 280 00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,080 You might want to think about washing your hands. 281 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,720 It's gonna be all the rage in a few years, I'm telling you. 282 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,320 -You're a funny one, Mister-- -Oh, doctor. I'm not a surgeon. 283 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,800 Of course. Doctor. 284 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,040 [Aziraphale] It would've taken a miracle 285 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:38,240 to render that freshly buried body unsellable. 286 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,760 Oh dear. Something smalls rather... ripe. 287 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:49,720 Is this a joke? 288 00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:52,160 I'm awfully sorry Mr. Dalrymple. 289 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:55,240 Oh what a shame. Such a warm night I suppose. 290 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,480 I can't use this! 291 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,320 [Elspeth] It was fine when I-- How did that even-- 292 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,080 I tell you what, this one's half price. 293 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:06,480 [chuckles] I'm not paying a penny for this... this soup! 294 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,160 [Crowley] You could try fishing out the teeth? 295 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,960 People pay good money for a nice set of gnashers. 296 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,960 Get this disgusting mess out of here. 297 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,400 You did this, didn't you? 298 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,520 Just an unexpected blessing. 299 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:29,720 [slams door] 300 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,440 [clears throat] Would you mind? 301 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:39,640 Ooh. Yeah. 302 00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:45,400 I did a very good thing then. 303 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:48,800 Now, I don't want Elspeth coming back here with another body. 304 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:51,800 Gotta cut off the demand side of things as well as the supply. 305 00:19:52,640 --> 00:19:56,800 The um, doctor here and I would be ever so grateful 306 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,760 if we could stay and discuss your work. 307 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,520 Over a good whisky, perhaps. 308 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:06,800 Doctors! 309 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,560 Perhaps I can interest you in a wee tipple while we discuss my work? 310 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,240 [Dalrymple] It's terrible, buying the bodies. 311 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,320 But I'm trying to teach students anatomy and basic physiology. 312 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,560 I don't like it any more than you do, Dr. McFell. 313 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,280 The trouble is there are never enough murderers. 314 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,240 -I'm sorry? -Murderers get hanged. 315 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,440 No one cares if we cut up murderers. 316 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,480 Excellent idea! More murders! I'll drink to that. 317 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,800 But if you're in such dire need of bodies, why not dig them up yourself 318 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,000 instead of making the poor and the desperate do it? 319 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:46,280 Seriously, though? 320 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,040 You cannot possibly think it is the best use of my time 321 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,720 to be sneaking around in graveyards in the wee small hours, 322 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,520 risking grave-guns and the noose 323 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:00,040 instead of teaching and studying and saving lives. 324 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,280 He's got a point. 325 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:03,960 -You're both medical men. -Well... 326 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,320 What is your professional opinion on that, Doctor? 327 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,280 Well, in my professional opinion, 328 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,200 that seems to be... 329 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:18,720 I say that seems to me a... 330 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:22,320 um... well, what do you think? 331 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:27,480 Well, that's a foot. So it's definitely not a foot. [laughs] 332 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:28,640 [Dalrymple] That's my point. 333 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,760 If you two smart gentlemen can't identify it, 334 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:32,320 then what are my students to make of it? 335 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:35,960 I removed this tumor from a seven-year-old boy. 336 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,160 Oh. Oh dear. 337 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:41,320 And... Is he...? 338 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,680 [Dalrymple] And that is why we need a steady supply of cadavers. 339 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,440 We need to cut. 340 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,560 If we can't cut, we can't learn. 341 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,680 If we can't learn more, a lot more, 342 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,440 then how on earth are we going to win the battle 343 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,080 against monstrosities like this one? 344 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,040 I'm just trying to save lives and teach students. 345 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,200 I either end up with a knighthood 346 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:06,320 or condemned as a resurrectionist and hanging from a rope. 347 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:53,920 Aha! 348 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:56,520 Hello there. 349 00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:58,880 Allow me to introduce myself. 350 00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:01,920 I'm what's known as a newspaperman. 351 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:02,880 Tell me, 352 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,480 is this the Resurrectionist public house? 353 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,840 You'll be one of those investigative reporters, no doubt? 354 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,400 I am! 355 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,600 Well what can I do for you, and err, what would you like to drink? 356 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,400 Oh, nothing for me. 357 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,680 I'm just here to get the skinny lowdown 358 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:25,800 on that mysterious song that played itself on your establishment's jukebox. 359 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,240 [Aziraphale] That started last year. 360 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:29,280 Give me the facts. 361 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:32,480 -Well, it was a Friday evening. -Fantastic. 362 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,920 Just for what we ink slingers call "atmosphere", 363 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:40,720 was this chap by any chance among those present? 364 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,600 Listen, I serve hundreds of people a week. 365 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,160 I'm not gonna remember some-- 366 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:47,520 Well, yeah. 367 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,800 Aye, okay. I remember him. 368 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:52,880 -Was he alone? -Oh no. 369 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:55,240 -Who was he with? -Oh, I don't know. 370 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,280 Just... just another Mason. 371 00:23:58,120 --> 00:23:58,920 A Mason? 372 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,240 Ah, well, he's a Mason himself, isn't he? 373 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:02,960 He was sitting with another one of them. 374 00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,360 We often get them in here. There's a Lodge next door. 375 00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:10,000 It's the first time I've seen one in a fancy grey suit though. 376 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,240 Was he a big high-up or something? 377 00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:15,480 He certainly used to be. 378 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,760 I don't want your help. 379 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:30,720 But you were right! 380 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,800 Body snatching alleviates human suffering. 381 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,400 That is a good thing. 382 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:38,120 -So I can help this time. -I don't trust you! 383 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,880 I don't know what you did, but you made that happen. 384 00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,760 Aye. Tell that to the poor souls who will not get into heaven 385 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,000 'cause their bodies are all chopped into wee pieces. 386 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,240 Well, that isn't how it actually... 387 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,200 Heaven isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know. 388 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,280 It's no right. I'm telling you. 389 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,640 -Yeah. -You said you'd help Morag! 390 00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:59,520 Just one body can get us off the streets... 391 00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:02,200 Aye, I will help, cause that's what pals do, 392 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:04,040 but it still doesn't make it right. 393 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:05,520 That's the spirit! 394 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:09,680 So, um, as I was saying, big thumbs up from me. 395 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,560 Dig up as many bodies as you like. 396 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:14,400 [Aziraphale] Having realized the error of my ways, 397 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,160 I resolved to assist Elspeth and wee Morag 398 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,720 in their noble quest to decrease human suffering. 399 00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:25,440 I took time to inspect various lethal security devices in that graveyard. 400 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,120 Most ingenious. 401 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,800 You trip this wire, and then... 402 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:33,120 Boom! 403 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:37,440 So the rich can afford all this gubbins 404 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,240 to protect their rellies from being dug up, 405 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:41,280 and the poor just have to lump it? 406 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:43,720 You're okay with that, yeah? 407 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:48,440 -You alright down there, hen? -Yeah. Almost there, Morag. 408 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,360 It's nice, fresh earth. Easy to dig. 409 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,960 -[screams] -Morag! 410 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,360 [Aziraphale] Obviously the firing of the grave-gun 411 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,440 had alerted the local watchman. 412 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,200 [Morag groans] 413 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:18,680 It's the watch! 414 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:25,800 [groaning] 415 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:28,640 [murmor] 416 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:34,800 [scream] 417 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,640 Might've slightly overdone it on the hole. 418 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,400 [groaning] 419 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:53,480 I am going to save her. 420 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,640 I know it's not technically allowed, but... 421 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:58,360 This... this is all my fault. 422 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,520 And I really can't bear it. If that young woman... 423 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:03,280 I could heal her. 424 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:05,200 No, no, no. It's the right thing to do. 425 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,040 I will brook no argu-- What are you...? 426 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:34,520 Too late. 427 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,200 Will one of you fetch the cart? 428 00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:49,080 Whatever for? 429 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:51,280 Well, I could be wrong, 430 00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:55,800 but I think Elspeth's taking wee Morag to Mr. Dalrymple. 431 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,440 -But-- -[Elspeth] But what? 432 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,720 I should let her rot in the ground while I starve? 433 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,440 Is that what you'd have me do, Mr. McFell? 434 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,240 Because it is certainly not what wee Morag would want. 435 00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,520 Well no. No, of course not. 436 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,120 I just... I... 437 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,200 It's a bit different when it's someone you know, isn't it? 438 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,680 Well, it's not soup, I'll give you that. 439 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,040 She didn't even want to be in that graveyard. 440 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,240 She only wanted to look after me. 441 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,080 Well, she's done that, hasn't she? 442 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:37,680 Nice and fresh. 443 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,080 Shall we say five pounds? 444 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:41,520 Five pounds? 445 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,600 The going rate for a fresh one's seven, even eight. 446 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,120 You can go and knock on other doors 447 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,240 and see if anyone out there will give you more for her. 448 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,120 But I'll give you five. 449 00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:04,480 Five. There you go. 450 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:06,320 Blood money. 451 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,520 And what are you going to spend it on? Gin? 452 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,480 Wine. For a toast. 453 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:25,800 [Aziraphale] Here we are. 454 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,720 Um... Hello, Elspeth. 455 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,000 I'm so sorry about your friend. 456 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,040 It happens. People die. 457 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,800 They do, don't they? 458 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,120 I bought a bottle of good wine with the proceeds. 459 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,080 Gin's faster. Wine's fancier. 460 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,480 So we can all toast wee Morag. 461 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,840 We'll toast her, then I'm going. 462 00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,120 And you can use this money to bury me 463 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,920 Somewhere where no ghouls will ever dig me back up again. 464 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:02,960 Going? 465 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,120 -Where are you going? -To join wee Morag. 466 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:08,560 So, can we toast her now, please? 467 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:13,720 No! No, no, no, no! 468 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,280 What did you do that for? You'll kill yourself! 469 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,800 Constitution of an ox. 470 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,400 Well, I don't need laudanum to kill myself. 471 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,280 Aw, no dying! Enough dying. 472 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,880 No more dying! No more dying! 473 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,640 Dying is just... it's just... 474 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,280 it's just... wrong! 475 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,080 -Crowley. -Nah! Nah! 476 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,400 Do I sound like a goat? Neigh! 477 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:45,000 [singing] ♪ O Flower of Scotland ♪ 478 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:49,760 ♪ When will we see your likes again ♪ 479 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:51,240 Right come on, let's get cracking. 480 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:52,440 Angel! Angel. 481 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,480 Say something that... convinces her 482 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,640 that poverty is ineffably wonderful and that life is worth living. 483 00:30:58,720 --> 00:30:59,840 Go on! 484 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:02,040 Life isn't worth anything. 485 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,120 And then monsters like me come and dig you back up and-- 486 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,280 I have to stop you there. Crowley, I-- 487 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:10,200 Where are you? 488 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:14,720 [Crowley] Don't you dare step on me! 489 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:16,160 I see you! 490 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:20,160 And you, you great... Hmm. Hmm. 491 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,280 [roars] 492 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,760 I'm small, aren't I? 493 00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:25,320 OK, I can do this. 494 00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:27,480 [grunting] 495 00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:54,480 Stunning view. 496 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,240 [growls] 497 00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,760 Crowley, there really is no need for any of this-- 498 00:31:59,840 --> 00:32:02,480 There is! There you are! 499 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,880 You have sinned very bigly! 500 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:10,840 Trying to kill yourself is... I mean... 501 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:12,720 it's... it's not on! 502 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:18,600 If you dare try to snuff yourself again, 503 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,280 you are damned forever! 504 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:23,840 -Unless... -Unless? 505 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:27,200 Unless... How much have you got in your wallet? 506 00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,880 -Err, me? -How much, Doctor McFell? 507 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,440 About 90 guineas. 508 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:37,560 Yeah, that should be enough. Giver her that. 509 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:40,640 -Ah... -But the virtues of poverty... 510 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:46,000 Ah... She is going to be shot by a grave gun 511 00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:49,120 or hanged, if she doesn't top herself first. 512 00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,680 Hey! Hmm? Gi'e her the money, angel! 513 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,240 But what am I gonna do with 90 guineas? 514 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,760 Buy a farm, and be good. 515 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:03,360 Not just pretend good. But properly good. 516 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:06,360 I promise I will. I promise. 517 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:08,720 -Do you though? -Mm. 518 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,160 Nah, that's good enough for me. 519 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:11,880 Right you are then, hen, off you pop. 520 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,200 Laudenum, whoo-wee! 521 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:20,800 Last time I do that! 522 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,360 -Where are you? -I'm here. I'm here. 523 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:27,880 That was very kind of you, Crowley. 524 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:30,920 -You saved that young woman. -Not kind! 525 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:35,480 Off my head on laudanum. Not responsible for my actions. 526 00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:36,880 Will you get into trouble? 527 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,200 Well, they'll surely have noticed downstairs. 528 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,480 You just did a very good deed indeed. 529 00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,000 Trust me, if hell noticed that little display, I'd already be... 530 00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:49,760 Ah... I'd already... 531 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,480 [screams] 532 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,720 [Aziraphale] And that was the last I was to see of Crowley 533 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:58,600 for quite some time. 534 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,280 Ah! Excuse me! 535 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,520 I hate to be a bother, but do either of you gentlemen 536 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,159 happen to possess a mobile phone that I could use? 537 00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,679 Are you entirely out of your wee mind? 538 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,639 Err, telephone please. I don't have all day. 539 00:34:27,679 --> 00:34:29,159 And I did ask nicely. 540 00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:30,960 Oh, I'm so scared. 541 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,080 What will you do if we say no? 542 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,760 I'm out of minutes. Mostly I just use it for Twitter. 543 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:40,000 And Grindr. 544 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:41,920 Ah, that's very kind of you. 545 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,760 Now, I'm afraid I do need a little privacy. 546 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,800 [clears throat] Um... 547 00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,480 Hello. Um... 548 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,920 I'd like you to call the telephone in my bookshop please, phone. 549 00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,160 It's on my desk. 550 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,800 [phone rings] 551 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:14,880 Fell's Bookshop. 552 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,360 We probably don't have what you're looking for 553 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,000 and we wouldn't sell it to you if we did. 554 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,640 [Aziraphale over phone] I think I've found some clues. 555 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:25,280 And do you remember the statue of Gabriel in the graveyard in Edinburgh? 556 00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,160 I'm looking at it now. 557 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:29,920 Mmm, good job. 558 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,280 Oh, do you really think so? 559 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:37,320 Um, Crowley... Do you remember Dr. Dalrymple, 560 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,280 -The one who bought, err... -[Crowley] Wee Morag's body. 561 00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:43,000 Not a doctor... A mister, yes! 562 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:47,160 -Yes, whatever happened to him? -He left Edinburgh in disgrace. 563 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:49,920 -And then he killed himself. -Mmm. 564 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,320 -And they named a pub after him. - Pffft. Humans. 565 00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:54,640 -You don't let yourself get too attached. -No. 566 00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,160 No, I suppose not. Um... 567 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,040 You haven't actually been selling any of the books, have you? 568 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,000 Not a one. 569 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:03,680 Oh, good. 570 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,640 -Clue? -Right! [clears throat] 571 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:10,880 So... I have unearthed some vital information. 572 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,640 Gabriel has indeed visited the, um... 573 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:17,640 establishment in question, 574 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,160 -in company with... -With? 575 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:22,840 I don't know. Someone. 576 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,840 But he wasn't alone! Anyway, that's a proper clue, isn't it? 577 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:28,960 Ooh, listen. I think it's about to happen. 578 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,160 The awning of a new age. I'll see you when you get back. 579 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,080 Right. 580 00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,800 Blessings be upon you. 581 00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:40,680 And your phone. 582 00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:44,560 And Twitter and Grindr, whatever they happen to be. 583 00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:46,440 My phone! 584 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:50,160 Oh! Did you like it better the other way? 585 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:52,960 No! Whatever you did... thank you! 586 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,040 Ah! [chuckles] 587 00:36:58,200 --> 00:37:00,920 Okay. Okay, rain. I can do rain. 588 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:03,560 I just wanted to say that... 589 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:06,600 I'm not sure what happened the other night. 590 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,280 But can we talk? 591 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,520 -We don't have anything to talk about. -I think we do. 592 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,520 You're upset and you're acting as if it's my fault. 593 00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,080 I don't really know what's going on in your life, 594 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:22,040 but I know that whatever happened the other night, I didn't lock us in. 595 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:23,680 Lovely rainy rain. 596 00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:36,680 I don't know why you're angry with me. 597 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:38,480 I'm not angry with you. It's just-- 598 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:40,400 It's not about you. 599 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:42,520 Lindsay decided I must have been having an affair, 600 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:44,640 'cause I wasn't texting back, and I just... I couldn't deal. 601 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:45,880 That's not fair! 602 00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:49,080 I mean, I'd never... and we didn't! It was the power going out. 603 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:50,560 Oh come on, under the awning! 604 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,680 Proper hard rain! 605 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,400 I mean we're not having a... What your partner said. 606 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:04,520 I know we're not! 607 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,320 -I suppose I owe you an apology. -No, you don't. 608 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,000 It's just... I'd never... 609 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:13,520 I'm not that kind of person. 610 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,320 I know. I'm not your type. 611 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:21,520 You have no idea. 612 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,440 Oh, yes. It's working. 613 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:35,520 Oh! Ooh... 614 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:36,560 Oh, bugger! 615 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,440 Bugger, bugger, bugger, bugger! 616 00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,040 Hmm, that could've gone better. 617 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:43,160 Did they vavoom? 618 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:44,960 I think it's fair to say, Jim, 619 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:49,160 that vavooming was not the end result of that particular tempest. 620 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:55,560 There will come a tempest, 621 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,840 and darkness, and great storms. 622 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,440 And the dead will leave their graves and walk the earth once more. 623 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:04,880 And there will be great lamentations. 624 00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:06,640 Go on. 625 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,920 Every day it's getting closer. 626 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,520 What are we talking about now? 627 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,480 Who am I? What's happened to me? 628 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:29,280 Stay here. 629 00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:31,960 Don't open the door to anyone. 630 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,520 Shax? Where are you? 631 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:49,920 [tourist] Excuse me, do you know where... 632 00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:54,080 You've got Gabriel hiding in the bookshop, haven't you, Crowley? 633 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:55,640 Sorry mate, I'm a stranger here myself! 634 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:56,640 [rider] Oi! Pillock! 635 00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:00,000 -Beelzebub's not happy with you. -Oh really? Beelzebub? 636 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:01,160 Not happy? 637 00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,640 But they're always such a little ray of sunshine! 638 00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,600 [Shax] They're seriously not happy. 639 00:40:07,040 --> 00:40:09,480 Beelzebub knows the angel's hiding him in there. 640 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,840 -No, they don't. -What makes you so sure? 641 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,280 Because they can't? 642 00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:16,920 -Why not? -Because he isn't! 643 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:18,200 I'm not playing these games. 644 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:23,880 I'm not stupid, Crowley. 645 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,840 -Come on, let me in. -Yeah. Not gonna happen, 646 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,560 so just... excuse me. 647 00:40:32,360 --> 00:40:33,320 [sniffs] 648 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:34,840 Ah, he's in there. 649 00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:36,680 You think so? 650 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:39,480 I'm surprised you haven't popped in for a quick poke around. 651 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:42,640 You know I can't step over the threshold. 652 00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:45,120 Oh. Shame I can't invite you in. 653 00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,280 You're welcome to look all you want from there. 654 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:49,800 Maybe you'll spot an archangel. 655 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,280 Hello, customer! 656 00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,600 Listen, when there's no hot water 657 00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,280 and two yellow lights on the boiler, what is that? 658 00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:02,640 Oh, yeah, yeah. That happens. 659 00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:05,400 There's a little black tap on a silver loop you have to turn. 660 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,560 -It's sort of under-- -Yeah, I can find it. 661 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,320 -And if you won't let me in... -Not technically something I can do. 662 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,760 Beelzebub and the Dark Council and all the forces of Hell 663 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,320 will declare war. 664 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,800 -On me? -On your friend. 665 00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:23,840 -Where is he by the way? -Stocktaking. 666 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:25,760 In the basement. 667 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,280 You have no idea the trouble you're causing, do you? 668 00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:42,640 No. Or yes. Or... no. 669 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:44,520 Yeah. I'll tell you something Jim, 670 00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,120 or Gabriel, if you're in there somewhere. 671 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,640 If any harm comes to Aziraphale because of this, I will... 672 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:52,320 Yes? 673 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,320 Oh, it doesn't matter. It's too late for that now, isn't it? 674 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:01,520 It's always too late. 675 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:10,120 [theme music plays]