1 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,080 [suspenseful music playing] 2 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,160 I'm requisitioning some demons. 3 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,560 -Oh, yeah. -I have full authorization from Beelzebub. 4 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:26,040 I can launch a demonic invasion upon London. 5 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,760 Demons? 6 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:31,720 I want only the worst, I want the worst of the worst, I want killers. 7 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:32,840 Mm-hmm. 8 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,200 Right, so how many? 9 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:40,360 -10,000 demons. -[tense music playing] 10 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:42,360 [laughs] 11 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:44,680 Sorry, I thought you said 10,000. 12 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,520 [magical music playing] 13 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,320 -[door opens] -[music intensifies] 14 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,240 -Are you actually going through with this? -Indeed, I am. 15 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,920 Can I watch? 16 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:19,560 [door opens] 17 00:01:20,039 --> 00:01:22,480 Oh, that's most appropriate. 18 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,840 I'll need you to bring that with you tonight. 19 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,039 -Mm-hmm? -Oh, it's very important. 20 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,840 'Cause I'll need musicians at the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association 21 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,680 monthly meeting this evening. 22 00:01:33,759 --> 00:01:36,520 I trust we'll see you there, with your harpsichord. 23 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:38,440 Erm... no, thank you. 24 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,800 There will be sandwiches. 25 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,080 I went to one meeting ten years ago, 26 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:45,440 they were wittering on about the Christmas lights 27 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,280 and passed a resolution condemning the improper use 28 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,759 of apostrophes on signs in windows. 29 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,320 There is literally nothing that would get me there tonight. 30 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,759 I see... 31 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:56,240 Very well. 32 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,880 You leave me with no alternative. 33 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,120 I have... at the back of my bookshop... 34 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,760 a 1965 Doctor Who Annual. 35 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,800 There was no 1965 Doctor Who Annual. 36 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,440 The first one was covered in 1966. Publish-- 37 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,360 September 1965. 38 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,360 The 1965 Annual was indeed never printed, 39 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:23,120 due to problems at the BBC. 40 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:24,760 Mine... 41 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,360 is the only known proof copy. 42 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,160 You'll let me look at it? 43 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:36,120 If you are at the meeting this evening, with perhaps a quartet of musicians? 44 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,400 I'll let you have it. 45 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:42,400 [giggles] 46 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:45,680 [bell rings] 47 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:46,760 You just did what I think you did? 48 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,960 I'm not prepared to talk about it. 49 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,320 -You gave away a book. -I had to. 50 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,240 Maggie and Nina are depending on me. 51 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:56,960 They just don't know it yet. 52 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,760 A thousand... 53 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,800 blood-thirsty demons. 54 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,640 [tense music playing] 55 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,680 [Shax] We are in Hell. 56 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,600 I have authorization from Beelzebub. 57 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,200 You can have authorization from Satan himself love, 58 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,000 if I don't have them I can't send them over. 59 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,000 I'll give you a malignant and creeping sense of unease if you like. 60 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:18,840 Why would I want a creep? 61 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,040 Five hundred. 62 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:23,560 There must be 500 foot soldiers. 63 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:24,640 What they for? 64 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:27,040 Attacking a bookshop. 65 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:31,040 Don't tell anybody, but we may be battling angels. 66 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,680 [tense music intensifies] 67 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:34,720 I'll do you 100. 68 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,920 -What's-- -It has just dropped to 70. 69 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000 I'll take them. 70 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,840 [magical music playing] 71 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,040 [door shuts] 72 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,240 [man] Hello. 73 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,280 What can I do you gentleman for? 74 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,600 It's about the monthly shopkeepers meeting, tonight. 75 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:06,000 Under no circumstances can I there be for tonight. 76 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,520 It is my wedding anniversary 77 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,480 and I am taking my beloved spouse out to dinner. 78 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:18,360 I have a first edition 79 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,360 of S. W. Erdnase's Expert at the Card Table. 80 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:25,240 [soft music playing] 81 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,800 -You've got a first edition? -It was Erdnase's own copy. 82 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:35,240 He signed it with his real name. 83 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,240 And annotated it. 84 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,159 -How much? -[laughing] It's not for sale. 85 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,360 [clears throat] However... 86 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,360 if you come to the meeting tonight, 87 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:50,640 I might be willing 88 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:52,920 to lend it to you. 89 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,440 I'll tell the spouse something came up 90 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,080 [Aziraphale] Bring them along too. 91 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,640 I can promise you, it will be quite a night. 92 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,520 [humming] 93 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,680 [clears throat] 94 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,760 [bell rings] 95 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,240 Hello, Ms. Cheng. 96 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,800 There is a meeting tonight... 97 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:16,360 The Street Traders? 98 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,240 Yes, Mr. Cheng and I will be there. What time does it start? 99 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,760 6:30. 100 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,120 See you there! Have a good day! 101 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,360 [microphone interference sounds] 102 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,640 Greetings. 103 00:05:37,159 --> 00:05:38,720 Listen to me now. 104 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,200 Oh, legions of hell. 105 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,360 Our mission... 106 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:44,920 [shouting] Excuse me? 107 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,520 [sighs] What is it? 108 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,760 [Eric] Erm... 109 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,240 A legion is like, 110 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,480 about 6,000 demons. 111 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,960 Yes, I know. 112 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,120 Tonight, we launch an attack, 113 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:10,040 unprecedented in its audacity, 114 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,960 unique in its... 115 00:06:14,360 --> 00:06:15,480 Yes, what? 116 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,720 Technically, we're only about... 117 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,760 one seventy-fifth of a legion. 118 00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,520 I know, 119 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,280 but what we lack in numbers, 120 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,920 we make up for in ferocity. 121 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:29,280 And... 122 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,040 -Scariness? -No. 123 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:36,080 Lost it now. 124 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:40,080 Ferocity and... 125 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,280 danger! 126 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,360 Ascertain, 127 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,640 for we are demons and they are but poultry humans. 128 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,920 [demon] So we're not going up against Angels, then? 129 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,040 Because he said we were going up against Angels. 130 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,960 -Who said that? -Fofo. 131 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,240 -Is it true? -We are going to Earth. 132 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,240 To London. 133 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,840 To storm a bookshop. 134 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,160 [suspenseful music playing] 135 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:13,720 [speaking French] 136 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,000 Mr. Phale, I speak fluent English. 137 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,960 I've been living here for 15 years. 138 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,080 [in French] Excellent. 139 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,480 Well... Erm... 140 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:28,920 [continues speaking French] 141 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,000 Mr. Phale, if it's about the street traders meeting, 142 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,360 I can be there, but only until seven, 143 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,640 as we start to get really busy then. 144 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:56,400 [continues speaking French] 145 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,360 Yes, 6:30. See you there. 146 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,760 [speaking French] 147 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,440 [Eric] So you can guarantee no Angels, then? 148 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,600 Some of those Angels are right dangerous bastards. 149 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,800 We could be permanently discorporated. 150 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,920 What I can guarantee you, 151 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,640 sunshine, 152 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:22,040 is, if you interrupt me one more time, 153 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,120 you will regret it forever. 154 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,240 Understood? 155 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,200 [suspenseful music playing] 156 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,039 You speak every language in the world, 157 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,400 -we both do. -Yes. 158 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:40,120 -So what's with the French? -Oh, I learned that, pfft... the hard way. 159 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,520 I went to Monsieur Rossignol's night classes in 1760. 160 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,600 [speaking French] 161 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,720 You don't have an aunt, she doesn't have a gardener, he doesn't have a pen. 162 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,360 But you understood me. 163 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,160 Only because for 250 years you've been wittering on about 164 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,480 the plume of your imaginary taunt. 165 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:03,400 Bravo. Just enjoying the show. 166 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,080 Ah. Erm... 167 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:08,640 Street Association meeting tonight at 6:30 in my shop, 168 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,960 perfectly ordinary invitation with no hidden agenda of any kind. 169 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,520 Are they going to talk about the Christmas lights? Because I have things to say. 170 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,720 -Yes. -I'll be there. 171 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,520 [Nina] He's never hosted a meeting, ever. Why the change of heart? 172 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:27,880 He's unpredictable. 173 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,960 He's discovered his civic obligations. 174 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,640 You've been together long? 175 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,520 -Who? -You and your partner. 176 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,760 Oh, no, no, it's not... it's not like that. 177 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:39,840 It certainly looks like that from here. 178 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,440 Oh so you've just recently hooked up. 179 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:43,960 -[stuttering] No, we... -You got a husband? 180 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,840 Or a boyfriend? Is the book selling your bit on the side? 181 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,200 He's not my bit on the side. 182 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:50,640 I'm far too pure of heart to be anybody's bit on the side. 183 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,160 -He's just an angel, I know. -[Nina] If you say so. 184 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,200 But then again, other people's love lives 185 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,120 always seem so much more straightforward than our own. 186 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,760 [soft music playing] 187 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,120 [Shax] We leave at nightfall. 188 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:21,000 Masks will be provided for those who can't... 189 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,160 blend in. 190 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,520 We use the big transporter. 191 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,520 -Erm... -What? What is it? 192 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,120 [Eric] The big transporter is out of service. 193 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,440 We'll have to use the little transporter, one at a time. 194 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,400 Or take the stairs. [laughs] 195 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,040 -[lightning noise] -[demon screaming] 196 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,520 -[explosion] -[demons gasping] 197 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,400 [sighs] 198 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:58,080 We take the stairs. 199 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,960 [intro theme music playing] 200 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,120 [Crowley whistles] 201 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:33,840 [door shuts] 202 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,680 Do you want a glass? 203 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,880 I'm at work and I have a meeting. 204 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,440 I need to prepare for-- why don't you wait inside? 205 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,720 -You like waiting inside. -I don't think so. 206 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,680 You've got an amnesiac Archangel hiding out in your bookshop. 207 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,400 I spent last night worrying if he's going to wake up. 208 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,680 What if he remembers who he is, what if he's faking it? 209 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,640 He could smite me. When Gabriel smites you, you've been... 210 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,200 -Smited? Smut? -Smitten. 211 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,680 I believe. You're being silly. 212 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,960 It's perfectly safe. He's not... 213 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,200 you know who, any long--- well, I mean, he is, but... 214 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,640 Have you thought of just talking to him? 215 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,160 Actually, I will. 216 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,480 [suspenseful music playing] 217 00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,840 [phone beeps] 218 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,280 [phone beeps] 219 00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,400 [phone beeps] 220 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000 [thud] 221 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:50,480 Fuck! 222 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,520 [sad music playing] 223 00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:01,680 [giggles] 224 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:15,880 [drunkenly] Let there be light. 225 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:18,040 [tense music playing] 226 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,200 Hello, Gabriel. 227 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,080 Neat. 228 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:29,960 -But I'm-- -Oh, yeah, yeah, no, no, no. 229 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,200 You're Jim now. 230 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,880 Got everything just the way you wanted? 231 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:36,960 Oh, yes, Mr. Phale's been very good to me. 232 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,640 Hasn't he just? Surprising, really, 233 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,560 given that the last time you two met 234 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,800 you tried to destroy him. 235 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,960 -I-- I don't remember that. -No, Jim? Oh. 236 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:53,640 [clicks tongue] 237 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,400 Well, Mr. Phale doesn't remember it either. 238 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,720 He wasn't there, you see. [giggles] 239 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,280 -He wasn't there? -Long story, but... 240 00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:04,440 I was there. 241 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,720 And I do remember, 242 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:12,960 oh, very clearly, the look on your face, Archangel Gabriel. 243 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:20,560 When you told my only friend to shut his stupid mouth and die. 244 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:25,200 And I... 245 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,120 did not... 246 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,960 care for it. 247 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,160 I don't think that was me, 248 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:33,520 but I'm very sorry. 249 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,520 I hope I'm not causing too much trouble now. 250 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,440 More bad news for you then, Jimmy boy. 251 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,320 You're making him risk his entire existence 252 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,000 -for you. -Oh, dear. 253 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,160 I really am sorry. 254 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,760 -Is there anything I can do? -Oh, yeah. 255 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:52,760 Now. [sniffs] 256 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:54,920 Jump out of that window. 257 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:57,800 All right. 258 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,880 [window opening] 259 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:06,040 [music intensifies] 260 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:10,320 Stop! 261 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,960 Ugh, get down. 262 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,680 Well, if you're really not him, 263 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,280 what are you? 264 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,320 I don't know, I feel... 265 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,520 like, 266 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,560 an empty... 267 00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,440 -house. -A house? 268 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,520 Yes, a house someone lived for a very long time, 269 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:35,400 but now they're gone 270 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,160 and the house can sort of tell where the things used to be. 271 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:41,160 Like when I remembered how it all began. 272 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,720 When you first arrived, you said you were here 273 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,080 because they were planning to do something terrible to you. 274 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,600 So you remembered it then. 275 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,240 Remember it now. 276 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,360 It hurts to remember. My head isn't built for that. 277 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,000 I know, do it anyway. 278 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,760 -It's not, I don't have my memory. -Well, where is your memory, then? 279 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,440 [soft music playing] 280 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,960 In a matchbox. 281 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:15,240 No, I took it out, first. 282 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,760 -You took your memory out of a matchbox? -Yes, that's right. 283 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,560 I took it out and I put it in the box and I brought it here. 284 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,079 -And it's... -Yes? 285 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,160 -Everywhere. -Ah, what else do you remember? 286 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,680 If it happens again I can make it seem like it's an institutional problem. 287 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:38,760 -What? -I don't know, I'm just... [grunts] 288 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,960 I know, looking at where the furniture isn't. 289 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,000 [sighs] 290 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,200 Do you... 291 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,080 want a hot chocolate? 292 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,320 [rapid music playing] 293 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,720 So what have you learnt about the miracle? 294 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,080 I'm in the process of verifying it, but, of course, 295 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,400 you can only tell if people are in love by waiting a few days, 296 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,880 because humans are weird and that's how it works. 297 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,160 I knew that. Any leads on Gabriel? 298 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,160 Oh, right. Well... 299 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,320 he's definitely not in the shop. 300 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:24,720 Does that count as a lead? It is just Aziraphale. 301 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,520 -The traitor? -Yes. 302 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,560 He seemed very... 303 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,480 -Traitorous. -Hmm... 304 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,080 -And his grumpy friend, Mr. Crowley. -The demon. 305 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,560 Oh, I suppose that explains the grumpiness. 306 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,960 Oh, and, of course, his... 307 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,880 assistant? 308 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,000 -But I don't think I saw him. -His assistant? 309 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,080 -He doesn't have an assistant. -No. 310 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,080 Sorry, I don't know why I said that. 311 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,960 Does he? Does he? 312 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,920 Didn't we meet a someone, something... 313 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:01,920 -about... books? -No, no. 314 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,080 Aziraphale himself, he likes books. 315 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:06,800 Yes. 316 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:08,320 Of course. 317 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:10,680 Yes? 318 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,480 I don't know if it helps, but... 319 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,320 at one point Mr. Phale and Mr... 320 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:16,720 I mean, the traitor and the demon, 321 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,720 had a secret meeting about what to do next. 322 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:20,760 Ah. 323 00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,560 And? 324 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,720 -What? -What did they say? 325 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,320 Oh, I didn't listen. They said it was private. [chuckles] 326 00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,400 Thank you. 327 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,560 -You're really nice. -Don't thank me. 328 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:45,400 And I'm not. 329 00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:48,280 Oh, nobody would believe you anyway. 330 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:54,560 [magical noises] 331 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:56,960 [rumbling] 332 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,320 -What are you doing? -Just making space for... 333 00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:10,560 everything that needs to happen. 334 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,520 You're up to something, I can smell it. What are you planning? 335 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,680 Wait and see. 336 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,640 Wait and see? Do you have any idea how irritating that is? 337 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,000 Yes, now, if you're going to stand here and just carp, 338 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,080 perhaps you could check in on Nina or Maggie 339 00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,160 and make sure they are on their way. 340 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,080 [soft music playing] 341 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,560 [door shuts] 342 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:32,680 [magical music playing] 343 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,560 [lively music playing] 344 00:20:58,920 --> 00:20:59,960 [bell rings, door shuts] 345 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,880 I don't know why you invited me, Mr. Phale. 346 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,560 Well, you are a Whickber Street trader, Mrs. Sandwich. 347 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,720 -And a pillar of the community. -That's as may be. 348 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,560 But it's the after work rush and the several regulars gonna need seeing to. 349 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:16,800 I'm sure you young ladies know what to do by now. 350 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,560 -Well, if you put it like that. -I've never asked, 351 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,560 what exactly is it that they do do? 352 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,720 They stand on their own two feet. 353 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,760 Like the government said. 354 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:29,280 Ah. 355 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:30,920 [knocking on window] 356 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:40,080 Just here to tell you the Street Traders Association meeting is starting now. 357 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:41,920 [Maggie] I never miss a meeting, I'll be there. 358 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,080 Not a problem. 359 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:45,280 [door shuts] 360 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,240 [door shuts] 361 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,440 Seats? Mr. Phale, where are the seats I dropped off for the meeting? 362 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,080 -No point. -No point? 363 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,680 We'd only have to move them away again when the dancing begins, wouldn't we? 364 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,040 Better to keep them for later. 365 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:02,520 Dancing? 366 00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:04,640 [mysterious music playing] 367 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,280 [door shuts] 368 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,400 [Crowley] "Give me coffee or give me death" 369 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,880 Funny name for a coffee shop. 370 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:16,480 Everything else was taken, what do you want? 371 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,040 -Just to remind you about the... -The meeting? I'm not coming. 372 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,720 -You have to. -No, I don't. My... 373 00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,720 My partner, Lindsay, has texted 374 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,040 and it's now my former partner. 375 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,400 And I'm buggered if I'm gonna talk about the stupid Christmas lights tonight, 376 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,000 so I'm going home and gonna drink myself senseless and have a good cry. 377 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,800 -in an empty flat. -Don't do that. 378 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,600 -Why not? -It may not be safe. Something's going on. 379 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,280 Something's wrong. 380 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,720 Well, lots of things are wrong right now, 381 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,960 but right now it's coming in waves. 382 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,320 -Like a hangover. -I'm going home. 383 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,840 You'd be safer in there. My friend wouldn't let anything happen to you. 384 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,800 Jeez, for once in your life trust somebody. 385 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,240 -You're weird. -Arg, do it! 386 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,840 [suspenseful music playing] 387 00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,440 [door shuts] 388 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,520 I'm going mad. 389 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,040 For my dear, it is Nina, purveyor of coffee for all our needs. 390 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,800 Charmed, I'm sure. 391 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:18,320 Ah, bonsoir. It is, how do you say, a fine night for dancing. 392 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,520 Justine, what's going on? 393 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,320 [Arnold] Why, our good mistress coffee seller. 394 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:24,600 Tonight is a meeting of the Whickber Street Traders 395 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,360 and shopkeepers Association. 396 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:29,560 We all are partaking of the hospitality of Mr. Phale. 397 00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,520 Hello, would you like to try one of these tiny little dinners? They are free. 398 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:39,760 Ah, Nina! 399 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,440 Oh, I'm so glad you are here. 400 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,200 The dancing is about to begin. 401 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,560 I know I'm really upset, why don't I feel upset? 402 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,800 Ah, no long faces tonight. 403 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,760 I just want to see you young people enjoying yourselves. 404 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:55,840 Dancing? 405 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,680 Well, it wouldn't be a Shopkeepers Association meeting 406 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:00,040 without dancing, would it? 407 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,520 Look, I don't know what's going on but your friend said I was in danger 408 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,880 and now I'm in here and you're all acting... 409 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,120 -And I'm losing my fucking mind. -Well, now you're here, 410 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,240 that's the main thing. You're definitely safe 411 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,040 in here. 412 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,720 [Mr. Brown] Excellent eventide to you, mistress Nina, 413 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,080 I trust we'll tread a measure together 414 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,520 before tonight's Shopkeepers Association meeting is over. 415 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,640 I just wanted to talk about the Christmas lights 416 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:27,920 [door shuts] 417 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,040 [suspenseful music plays] 418 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:43,920 [demons grunting] 419 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:46,840 Who are you? 420 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,560 Who sent you? 421 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,400 [demon grunting] 422 00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:52,760 You're demons. 423 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,600 Junior bottom of the barrel demons, 424 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,840 practically the damp. 425 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,680 What are you doing here? What are any of you doing here? 426 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,800 You can't just manifest and cause trouble, there are rules. 427 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:07,040 -Give us the Angel. -We want Gabriel. 428 00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:13,200 [shouting] You are out of order! 429 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:19,240 [door shuts] 430 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,680 [lively music playing] 431 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,840 [woman] What exactly is your profession? 432 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,560 I'm a seamstress. 433 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,760 Indeed a worthy craft. [laughs] 434 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,600 No, I'm not a seamstress. 435 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,040 I'm a seamstress. 436 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:39,520 [laughs] 437 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:41,440 The devil take it. 438 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,600 -A seamstress. -What, in short? 439 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,080 -You are a seamstress. -No, I'm not a benighted seamstress. 440 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:49,880 I'm a God forsaken... 441 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,560 seamstress. [laughs] 442 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,960 [laughing] Why can I not say the word seamstress. 443 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,240 Perhaps if you were to describe the profession. 444 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:00,360 Nah, the very thing, I thank you. 445 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,840 Well, when a gentleman finds himself 446 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,240 in want of the tender attentions of a wife, 447 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,240 he may take himself to my establishment 448 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,880 and there have his pick of a fine stable of ladies 449 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:17,320 all able and willing to mend his shirt 450 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,800 or darn his socks 451 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,520 or even... sew on a button. 452 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,960 But that's extra, and all the girls do it. 453 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:29,320 Oh. 454 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,920 A seamstress. [laughs] 455 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:36,560 [applause] 456 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,040 [soft music playing] 457 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:43,400 [giggles] 458 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,760 -What are you doing? -I told you. 459 00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,520 Jane Austen. We're having a Ball. 460 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:01,760 I've gotta talk to you, it's important. 461 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,440 I'm afraid I'm hosting a business meeting, 462 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,320 I'll be with you in two shakes of a lamb's tail. 463 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:06,480 Have a vol-au-vent. 464 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:16,240 [melodical music playing] 465 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,040 -[Maggie] This is something new. -This is something completely bonkers. 466 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,520 Why is everyone talking like they just came from Pride and Prejudice? 467 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,920 Just getting into the spirit of things, I suppose. 468 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:40,280 Spirit of what things? 469 00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:42,640 This is meant to be the Shopkeepers Association monthly meeting. 470 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,640 Oh, yes. 471 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:46,560 Well, when you put it like that. 472 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,920 Are we dancing? 473 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:50,640 Yes. 474 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,760 Did you ever learn the steps to this dance? 475 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,800 It's just what we do, isn't it? 476 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,040 No. No, it isn't. 477 00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:01,000 This is something mad. 478 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,400 This is their fault. 479 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,360 They are doing this. 480 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,320 [sighs] 481 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:15,800 [thud] 482 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:22,160 [mysterious music playing] 483 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,000 [laughter] 484 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,400 I am an assistant book seller, these are not books. 485 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,920 They are good old pieces of food and I am not selling them, 486 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:43,600 I'm giving them away. 487 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:46,640 Then most certainly we must indulge ourselves. 488 00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,240 Oh. 489 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,240 Oh, great... 490 00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:53,440 We shall want another one presently. 491 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:58,360 It is seldom indeed that our little village has the fortune to welcome one so 492 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:03,600 amiable, so gentile and, if you'll allow me sir, so well made, 493 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:05,720 in form and feature. 494 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,080 This, it's neat, 495 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,560 isn't it? I'm still working out all the things it can do. 496 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:15,200 -I discovered a new one in bed last night. -[laughing] 497 00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,760 Would you like me to show you? 498 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:20,800 I must confess you interests us strangely. 499 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,440 Here, here, watch, watch, watch. 500 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,120 [cheeks making noise] 501 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,040 [laughing] 502 00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,960 Making a blend is one thing, but a Ball with, 503 00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:45,040 look there's something wrong. There is something really wrong. 504 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,280 Well, perhaps you could tell me 505 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,160 while we dance. 506 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:49,560 We don't dance. 507 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:54,760 [suspenseful music playing] 508 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,800 [lift voice] Doors opening. Earth. 509 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:05,480 [music intensifies] 510 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,320 -[music stops] -[demons grunting] 511 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:20,720 How sweet. 512 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:22,960 They're having a party. 513 00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,120 -What do we do? -I'm not sure. 514 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,560 Not having a very good day. My partner, Lindsay, 515 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,120 has gone. 516 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:32,920 Was it my fault? 517 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,800 What? No. 518 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,800 Not really. 519 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:40,120 That night was the last straw of... 520 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:41,920 it's been coming for a long time. 521 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,000 I don't think Lindsay actually liked me very much. 522 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,800 -And, well, I know I'm hard work. -I... 523 00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:54,040 I mean... 524 00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:56,360 I'm not afraid of hard work. 525 00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,720 Hell has sent demons. 526 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,600 They are milling around outside, they want Gabriel. 527 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,880 We're perfectly safe in here. 528 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,480 Technically, this bookshop still counts as an embassy. 529 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,280 I think you need to stop this charade 530 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,080 and we need to work out what to do. 531 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:15,400 I am not giving them Jim. 532 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,320 People will get hurt, angel. 533 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,040 I think you're overestimating how much trouble we're actually in. 534 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:22,960 [rumbling] 535 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,880 [window breaks] 536 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:27,760 [tense music playing] 537 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:29,680 Well... 538 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:31,400 Oh. 539 00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,000 Oh, dear. 540 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,520 -"Surrender the Angle." -Yeah, erm... 541 00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:39,000 [Crowley] Spelling not their strong point, they meant to say... 542 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:40,480 Surrender the Angel. 543 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,080 Send out Gabriel. 544 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,520 -Nobody gets too badly hurt. -Out of the question. 545 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:47,560 Might I remind you, 546 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:51,280 that this bookshop is technically an independent embassy. 547 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,520 Being a former outpost of Heaven, 548 00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,440 -and as such-- -You're an outlaw Aziraphale. 549 00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,280 You have no protection. 550 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:00,880 I have a legion of demons 551 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:02,400 by my side. 552 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,000 And I have no intention of harming you, 553 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,640 only the humans here with you. 554 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,080 You have 60 seconds to hand over the Archangel Gabriel 555 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:16,640 before we begin to kill people. 556 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:19,120 [indistinct chattering] 557 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:22,280 Excuse me. 558 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:27,880 Fifty seconds. 559 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:29,840 What do you say? 560 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:31,760 This is all because of me, isn't it? 561 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,360 Those people want me, 562 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:35,880 don't they? 563 00:32:40,080 --> 00:32:41,080 You came to me, 564 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:43,200 I said I would protect you, 565 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:45,240 and I will. 566 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:46,920 You don't need to. 567 00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,600 I'm going out. 568 00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:52,920 [door opens] 569 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,280 [celestial music playing] 570 00:32:59,000 --> 00:32:59,960 I'm here. 571 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:02,560 [Gabriel] I'm who you want. 572 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:04,440 I think. 573 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:06,160 It's me. 574 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,520 I don't know what you're doing, but you're in my way. 575 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,680 Send out the Angel now, or everyone in the bookshop gets it. 576 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,160 -[demon] I mean it! -Hi. 577 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:19,880 Listen. 578 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,240 The Angel Gabriel is... 579 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:26,080 apparently, me. 580 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,760 But I'm also Jim, which is short for James, but also Gabriel. 581 00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,640 Will you shut up? 582 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:39,040 Get back in there right now, this minute. 583 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:43,440 And you tell that ass Aziraphale 584 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,800 and that arch traitor Crowley 585 00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:50,360 that unless they send out the Angel Gabriel now, 586 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,240 they are toast. 587 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,320 T-O-S-T 588 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:58,040 E. 589 00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,080 Toast. Now. 590 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:10,480 [door opens] 591 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:14,960 What happened? 592 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:20,800 They told me to come back and tell you to send out the Angel. 593 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,639 [sighs] Of course they did. 594 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,080 Ah. We needed a miracle to make sure nobody know it's him. 595 00:34:27,159 --> 00:34:28,120 [mocking] Now nobody knows it's him. 596 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,280 -Nice one, ass. -Excuse me, Mr. Phale. 597 00:34:31,639 --> 00:34:34,159 Who are these people? What's happening? 598 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,199 Twenty seconds, Angel, 599 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,400 before we start hurting them. 600 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,120 You aren't allowed to harm humans directly, 601 00:34:43,159 --> 00:34:45,080 -you know that Shacks. -Maybe not. 602 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,400 But I can harm them indirectly. 603 00:34:47,679 --> 00:34:50,400 We can definitely hurt them whilst battling Angels. 604 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,080 There'll be civilian casualties. 605 00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:54,600 Oh, oh, are you saying this is officially sanctioned. 606 00:34:54,639 --> 00:34:56,960 that this attack is consistent with the rules of engagement. 607 00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:01,040 Well, is it or isn't it? Were you given official permission to launch this attack? 608 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:05,560 I'm not stupid. 609 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:07,840 I have the permission. 610 00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:11,520 Standard rules of engagement, clause 1.1.2, subsection 3. 611 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,360 Civilian non-competence must be given sufficient time 612 00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:15,080 to evacuate the area of hostilities. 613 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:17,440 Aziraphale can put in a formal complaint 614 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,320 to the dark council of the dukes of Hell, if you want. 615 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,400 But you'll have to delay your attack until they reply. 616 00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,440 That could take weeks, maybe. Erm... 617 00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:26,800 You lot could all be in big trouble. 618 00:35:27,160 --> 00:35:28,840 [demons chattering] 619 00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,160 Get your... 620 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,880 humans out of there, then. 621 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:38,480 Sure. 622 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,640 Right, I just made up a rule that they're too stupid to check. 623 00:35:42,760 --> 00:35:44,480 I'm gonna get the humans out of here and then I'm coming back. 624 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,760 -I won't leave you on your own. -I know, but I have a suggestion. 625 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,880 I've got this. Right, I'm gonna take you all out of here. 626 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:54,120 If you do exactly what I tell you, nobody is going to get hurt. 627 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,800 I don't know what's actually going on but I am going to deal with it. 628 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,600 -Excuse me. -Oh, that might get messy. 629 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:00,760 Oh... 630 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:04,560 [clears throat] 631 00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,120 Madam. 632 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,920 I don't know why you think it's appropriate to disrupt 633 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,760 a meeting of the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association. 634 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:16,880 Dance. 635 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:18,760 Not a meeting. 636 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,440 You were dancing. 637 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,680 You had no right to interfere with these people. 638 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,200 Right. 639 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:29,800 I'm calling the Emergency Services. 640 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,120 Crowley, what's the boundary line of this place? 641 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:35,840 The door frame, you can't cross it. 642 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,680 [screaming] 643 00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:45,920 -You can't do that. -We just did. 644 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,640 Civilian casualty. 645 00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:49,960 Get the rest of them out now, 646 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,640 or we'll take them one at a time. 647 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:57,760 I still don't understand. 648 00:36:58,560 --> 00:36:59,840 -What's happening? -Erm... 649 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:02,600 It's a bit complicated, but... 650 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:07,280 probably best if you forget all about it and do whatever Mr. Crowley suggests. 651 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,200 Are you trying to hypnotize me, is that what's happening here? 652 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,600 -You're doing something to us. -I'm trying to save your lives. 653 00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:14,640 [Crowley] Right, everyone line up. Two by two. 654 00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,760 I was Mrs. Sandwich out from the main. Nina, Maggie, you take the rear. 655 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:18,880 Maggie, come on. 656 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:21,040 I'm not leaving him to face them on his own. 657 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:22,960 When I say walk, 658 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,480 you know, walk. Don't make eye contact with them, 659 00:37:25,560 --> 00:37:27,120 just follow me out. Nina, are you coming? 660 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:31,640 No. 661 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:32,960 You're saying behind to die bravely? 662 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,840 Good on you. Right, save lives. 663 00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:37,320 Have you got your hand in? 664 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,480 -I've got more than that, love. -Oh, I bet you do. 665 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:40,560 Let's go. 666 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:43,520 Happy anniversary, love. 667 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:45,560 I brought him out. 668 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:49,280 -Why? -It stacks up by the front door. 669 00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:51,840 Keep it for now, not a good time. 670 00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:55,880 [whispering] 671 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,480 -They took him. -Is he all right? 672 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:05,440 Unlikely. Let's all get safely outside and see. 673 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,880 [demons grunting and growling] 674 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:19,640 Right, I'm gonna formally declare this meeting of the Whickber Street 675 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,080 shopkeepers, thingy over. 676 00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,920 I think it'd be best if you headed back to your shops as fast as possible 677 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,440 and, well, forget as much of this as you can. 678 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:31,560 You're a good lad. 679 00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,640 I'm not actually, either. 680 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,560 But thank you. 681 00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:40,880 -Why didn't you go? -I wanna know what's happening. 682 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,960 -You're in danger. -None of this makes sense. 683 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:45,320 You're in trouble and we're not leaving you on your own. 684 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,120 We aren't in danger. 685 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,600 Crowley will be back in a moment, he will have a plan. 686 00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,880 Why don't you stand up for yourself? Make your own plans. 687 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,440 I am, but rescuing me makes him so happy. 688 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,360 [lively music playing] 689 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:09,160 Officer, I need to report a crime. 690 00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:13,480 -Oh, err, I think I'm... the wrong-- -You're a law enforcement officer? 691 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,480 Yes, I mean, well, probably-- 692 00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,360 As a law enforcement officer, you are able to arrest someone 693 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,960 -if a crime has been committed. -Well, yes, but-- 694 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,320 -Good, then arrest me. -What? 695 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,840 Like I said, put on the cuffs, I'll go quietly. 696 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:29,520 This is very difficult, but I'm not actually 697 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,960 Inspector Constable, a human law enforcement officer. 698 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:35,000 You're an Angel, I know, that's why I'm surrendering to you. 699 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:37,520 I'm a demon, with knowledge of a crime against Heaven, 700 00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,160 I demand that you arrest me, we don't have much time. 701 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:41,600 But, how would I...? 702 00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,040 You say "I arrest you, anything you say blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 703 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,280 -Blah, blah, blah? -Good job, you're arresting me. 704 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:48,640 -What? -Yeah, you said "bla, bla, bla." 705 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,040 It's all right, officer, I'll come quietly. 706 00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:52,480 Come where? 707 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:54,480 Heaven. 708 00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,880 [electrical noises] 709 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:02,120 Right. 710 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,280 [lift voice] Doors opening. 711 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,120 You aren't trying to trick me, are you? 712 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,040 You're arresting me, why would I be trying to trick you? 713 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,680 Close the doors. 714 00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:24,680 [lift voice] Doors closing. 715 00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,800 -[suspenseful music playing] -[lift voice] Going up. 716 00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,320 [music ends] 717 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:42,040 [outro theme music plays]