1 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:08,840 [suspenseful music playing] 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,800 [demons growling] 3 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:16,920 Jim, I'll need eight battery-operated candles. 4 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,160 They're in my desk drawer. 5 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,320 [magical whooshing] 6 00:00:23,280 --> 00:00:26,120 -Will you just answer a simple question? -If I hear one, of course. 7 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,200 -Uh, this way, please, Jim. -What is happening? 8 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,800 Why is everything so weird? 9 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:32,439 This all started last week when the power went out, didn't it? 10 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:34,000 Three questions, none of them simple. 11 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,120 But to answer your last one, no. [chuckles] 12 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:39,440 This all started a very long time ago. 13 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:41,560 But... also, yes. 14 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:43,200 So, why were we all dancing? 15 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,680 I thought it might make you realize that Maggie loved you, 16 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:49,040 and then you'd fall in love with her. 17 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:51,680 It all looks so simple in Jane Austen. 18 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:53,560 Jane Austen? 19 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,160 Oh, yes, the brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery. 20 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:02,960 [tense music playing] 21 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,080 You're going to let us in, whether you like it or not. 22 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,240 Not. 23 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,520 You are not welcome here. 24 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,920 [automated voice] Heaven. Doors opening. 25 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,160 -Right. Where do you keep your records? -Records? 26 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,000 You're a scrivener, 37th class. Records, where? 27 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,560 -My office, but-- -Lead on. 28 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,960 But... No, I can't! 29 00:01:26,039 --> 00:01:28,039 You're a demon! I can't just-- 30 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,360 Do you know how much trouble I'll get into for this? 31 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:31,720 It's fine. 32 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,080 You're forgetting about the bees. 33 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,560 -Bees? -Angels are like bees. 34 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,160 Fiercely protective of their hive if you're trying to get inside. 35 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,360 Once you're in... well, I mean... 36 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,360 is it even faintly possible that an unauthorized demon might be just 37 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:48,160 wandering around in Heaven unescorted? 38 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:50,479 Mm, bees. 39 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,200 But you don't look like a bee. 40 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,360 You look like a murder hornet 41 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:56,960 or a snake or a-- 42 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,200 Bees. Right. 43 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:01,400 Your office. I'll follow you. 44 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,720 [demons grunting] 45 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,120 Go, go. Hide. 46 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:18,880 You lot are ridiculous. 47 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,600 We are the legions of the damned. We are invincible. 48 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,760 You might be invincible, but you're still stuck out there, and we're in here. 49 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,960 You don't frighten me. 50 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,880 [demons grunting] 51 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:37,520 I had brothers. You don't scare me by making faces. 52 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,280 -Just leave 'em alone, Maggie. -No. 53 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,440 I'm not scared of them. 54 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,560 I've spent my life being scared of things. 55 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,520 And I'm done with being scared. 56 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,040 Please, Maggie. 57 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,840 Yes, please, Maggie. 58 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:55,040 Please don't embarrass yourself in front of the woman you pathetically love. 59 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,440 She's not embarrassing herself. She's... braver than anyone I know. 60 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:01,240 Two cowards. 61 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:05,160 You posture bravely because you are in there and we are out here. 62 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,640 Leave us alone. Leave this shop alone. 63 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,480 Leave Mr. Fell alone. 64 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,520 You are nothing, Maggie. 65 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,320 Look at you. You run a shop nobody visits, 66 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,000 unable to pay the rent. Dull. 67 00:03:19,079 --> 00:03:21,480 You're unloved and unlovable. 68 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,240 You're a nobody, 69 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,800 and you'll live, and then you'll die, a nobody. 70 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,200 My God, you lot are pathetic. 71 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,440 You wanna come in here and say that to my face? 72 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,079 [bell tolls in distance] 73 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,600 [shushing] 74 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,000 Come on, quickly. Go! 75 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,560 Maggie, 76 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,280 what just happened? 77 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,920 I... I think I might have just told them they could come in. 78 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:07,000 Get back... Get back here now, fast, please. 79 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,080 It's for your own good. 80 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,520 I am perfectly prepared to take defensive action, 81 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,960 should it become necessary. 82 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,680 Stay back. 83 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000 Hello? 84 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,600 Is there anybody there? 85 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,560 [magical whooshing] 86 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:31,600 I have to tell you, 87 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,480 you can all leave now, 88 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,040 and nobody will be hurt. 89 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,240 [scoffs] 90 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,520 [demon screams] 91 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,520 You'll be hurt. 92 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,000 [intro theme music playing] 93 00:06:37,159 --> 00:06:39,440 -Mm, nice office. -[Muriel] It's a bit lonely. 94 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,280 That was why I was so pleased when they said I finally had a job on Earth. 95 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,280 Don't you ever see anyone here? 96 00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:48,760 Well, every few hundred years someone comes and asks me for something. 97 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,680 -You're not really under arrest, are you? -Not really, no. 98 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,240 I'm helping you, aren't I? 99 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:57,880 Yeah. 100 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,720 -I'm going to get into so much trouble. -You think so? 101 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,480 Well then, let's make it worthwhile. [laughs] 102 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,720 What have you got on Gabriel? 103 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,800 It's all confidential. I can't show it to you. 104 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,080 I mean, I couldn't open it if I wanted to. 105 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:32,680 I don't have clearance. 106 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:35,200 You'd have to be a throne or a dominion, or above. 107 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,680 -How did you do that? -I haven't always been a demon, 108 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,440 and they never change their passwords. 109 00:07:52,159 --> 00:07:55,240 Go on, you idiots. Get them! 110 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:57,880 [suspenseful music playing] 111 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,560 [demon screams] 112 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:07,880 [demon screams] 113 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,360 [demon screams] 114 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,080 They aren't gonna keep walking into the circle forever. 115 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,760 Even demons aren't that stupid. 116 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,000 So, what's your plan? 117 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,360 Well, that was it. I didn't have another bit. 118 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,520 [demon screams] 119 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,280 [laughing] 120 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,720 Uh... this way, quickly. 121 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,720 [demon screams] 122 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:30,880 Why do they keep blowing up? 123 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,799 Well, it's all a bit complicated. The circle, it's a gateway, 124 00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:36,120 but if you step into it and you aren't prepared, 125 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,440 it can discorporate you completely. 126 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,480 Does what you say make sense in your head? 127 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,120 [demon screams] 128 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,120 [yells] Stop where you are! 129 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,200 And so... 130 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,080 it ends. 131 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,160 Everything ends. 132 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,760 Time and the world 133 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,480 is over, 134 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:57,720 and we begin eternity... 135 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,880 forever and ever. 136 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,160 Amen. 137 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:04,760 -Amen. -Amen. 138 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,000 Nah. 139 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:10,880 Nah? 140 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,760 Yep. 141 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:14,640 Nah. 142 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:19,040 Nah to the final victory of Heaven on Earth? 143 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:21,120 Sorry, just not seeing it this time. 144 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,240 Pass. 145 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,640 And may I ask why you're not seeing it? 146 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:29,480 Surely. 147 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,320 -Why? -I told you you could ask. 148 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,120 However, I am the only first-order archangel in the room, 149 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,200 or, you know, the universe, 150 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,880 so I'm not gonna answer so much. 151 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,600 But you feel free to knock yourself out with all the asking. 152 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:47,000 Anyway, Armageddon the sequel, 153 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,520 that's a nah. 154 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,040 What's next on the agenda? 155 00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:53,520 -The cleaning roster. -Okay! 156 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:55,720 What have you got? 157 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,600 I think we've struck gold. 158 00:09:58,640 --> 00:09:59,640 Push! 159 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:06,960 [demon screams] 160 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,200 [demon screams] 161 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,040 -It's working! -Well, yeah! 162 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,080 [demon screams] 163 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:20,520 [demon screams] 164 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,880 There's even more fire extinguishers up here. 165 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:26,720 [demon grunts] 166 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,040 Why all the fire extinguishers? 167 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,080 Uh, well, there was a fire here once, you see. 168 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,880 And, um... well, books can go up like... 169 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,240 -Well, anyway... -Brilliant 170 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:41,760 Got any of that spray foam? 171 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:48,200 So, Gabriel refused point blank to entertain another Armageddon? 172 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,840 Doesn't sound like him at all. 173 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:51,880 Any idea why not? 174 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,880 Not yet. They had a sort of trial. 175 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,040 [Saraqael] It was a real trial. It didn't take long, though. 176 00:10:58,800 --> 00:10:59,800 Hello, Crowley. 177 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,240 I didn't expect to ever see you again. 178 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,280 Do we know each other? 179 00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,800 When you were an angel. 180 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,960 We worked together on the Horsehead Nebula. 181 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,120 I meet a lot of people. [chuckles] 182 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:16,640 Muriel, you're the last person I'd expect to see collaborating with the enemy. 183 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:17,760 -Oh. -[Muriel] Um... 184 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,320 I suppose, from some points of view, this could look bad, 185 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,600 -but I did arrest him. -[Saraqael] No, you didn't. 186 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,040 Well, don't let me interrupt you. Go on. 187 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,280 Show him the trial. 188 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:33,080 Shax, I charge you to leave this place, 189 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,440 with all your people, 190 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,360 and to jolly well hurry up about it, 191 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,920 or I'm going to have to take 192 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,320 severe measures. 193 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,280 [Shax] Aziraphale, what are you? 194 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,880 Crowley's emotional support angel? 195 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,600 The softest touch. The one who went native. 196 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,520 Do you need more big human meals, Aziraphale? 197 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,640 Shall we send up the sushi? 198 00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,920 -[demons laughing] -Give us Gabriel. 199 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,880 Give him to us now. 200 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,200 -Sometimes people call me Gabriel. -Shh. 201 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,320 [Shax] And tell that moron 202 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:14,120 to stop interrupting. 203 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,040 Jim, go... go to your room. You'll be safer there. 204 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,120 Okay. Good night. Does anybody want any hot chocolate? 205 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,240 -[both] No. -[Aziraphale] Go. 206 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,760 [suspenseful music playing] 207 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,320 [demons screaming and grunting] 208 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,520 [Michael] Gabriel, Supreme Archangel, 209 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,800 you have refused to exercise your celestial authority 210 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,680 and you are henceforth removed from office. 211 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,200 I see. You're casting me down to Hell. 212 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,200 Well, I accept my fate. 213 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:04,440 Sometimes an angel just has to say, 214 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,720 "Guys, enough." 215 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,120 -Even though-- -No speeches, Gabriel. 216 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,440 You are not going to Hell. 217 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:15,680 For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness 218 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,240 makes a good story. 219 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,920 For it to happen twice, 220 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:23,600 makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem. 221 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:24,800 Which there isn't. 222 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,440 Which, needless to say, there isn't. 223 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,160 You will, I am sure you'll be glad to learn, 224 00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,040 remain an angel. 225 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,040 Although, as a kindness, 226 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:38,080 your memory of your time as Gabriel will be erased. 227 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,880 You will be demoted 228 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,200 to junior recording angel, 229 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:45,760 38th class. 230 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,240 Oh, that's pretty good, actually. I'm 37th class. 231 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,360 I didn't know that there was one down. 232 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,120 [Gabriel] I see. Well, all good things. 233 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,240 Uh, just one thing. These clothes are tailored. 234 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:58,600 Can I keep wearing them? 235 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:02,000 Appropriate raiment will be provided for you, Gabriel. 236 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,840 -These clothes? -Are not appropriate. 237 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:09,000 Got it. Well, I'll just need to take off my clothes and clean out my desk, then. 238 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,360 -You have a desk? -Yes, I do. 239 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,640 I'll just need a... 240 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000 I'll be right back. 241 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,480 -[tense music playing] -[demons screaming] 242 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:29,320 -Can we throw books at them? -I'd rather you didn't. 243 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,120 Obviously no fiction, but encyclopedias? 244 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,000 -It's all online these days anyway. -Oh, if you must. 245 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,320 Ah! 246 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,040 [both grunting] 247 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,160 Ah! 248 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,400 [soft music playing] 249 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,880 [Crowley] What? What's he... 250 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,080 [automated voice] Doors opening. 251 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,200 -[Muriel] He dropped it! -[automated voice] Doors closing. 252 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:19,840 Going down. 253 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,560 What's keeping him? 254 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,160 I believe he's taking off his clothes and cleaning out his desk. 255 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:34,600 Uriel, he doesn't have a desk. 256 00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,920 I don't trust him. Can we begin the memory wipe now? 257 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,160 [Michael] What, without him here? 258 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,800 -Good idea. -Right. 259 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,520 I can't... I can't find his memory anywhere. 260 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,640 In fact, I can't find him in the building. 261 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,120 He's left Heaven. 262 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,400 -Should I sound an alert? -Oh, don't be so wet. 263 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:02,080 No, you're all just going to have to find him. That's all. 264 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:07,320 Stop lollygagging, you cowards. Get back up those stairs. 265 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,960 Fire extinguishers have all been emptied, and we're out of encyclopedias. 266 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,600 We can't... We can't stop them. 267 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,520 What do we do? 268 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,960 Desperate measures must be taken. 269 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,000 [Aziraphale grunts] 270 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:24,880 [grunts] 271 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,560 [grunts] 272 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,920 I haven't done this since the Great War. 273 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,160 It's something we're only meant to do when we're actually 274 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:41,760 on a wartime... footing. 275 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,600 [grunts] 276 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:53,840 [magical music playing] 277 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,800 [demons screaming] 278 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:27,400 [Nina] What did you just do? 279 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,200 I think... 280 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,560 I may have just started a war. 281 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,280 -[electrical zapping] -What just happened? 282 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:38,560 I think your friend just declared war on Hell. 283 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,320 This could get very messy. 284 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,480 Ugh, right, come on! Let's get back there. 285 00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:45,760 You too. 286 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,400 [lively music playing] 287 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,000 Funny old world, isn't it? 288 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,200 [laughs] 289 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,440 Hello? 290 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,080 Anybody here? 291 00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:08,240 You came back. 292 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,320 [door shuts] 293 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,480 What did you do to them all? 294 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,080 I did the thing with the halo. 295 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:18,080 -You what? -I did the thing with the halo. 296 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,000 You... [chuckles] You blew up your halo? 297 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,800 [laughs] Ooh, Hell won't like that. 298 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,880 [suspenseful music playing] 299 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,680 We are at war! Finally! [laughs] 300 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,680 Nobody's at war. 301 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,920 You idiots sent an idiot to lead a gang of idiots to attack a bookshop. 302 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:50,400 Those idiots there want their archangel back so they can fire him. 303 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,480 [growls softly] 304 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,800 [electrical zapping] 305 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,080 [Beelzebub] Nice job, Shax. 306 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,400 Beautifully done. 307 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,320 Remind me to put in for your commendation. 308 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,760 -Sarcasm, yes? -Yep. 309 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,400 I'm afraid so. 310 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,160 [Michael clears throat] 311 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,320 -If it is to be war-- -No, no, no, no, no war. 312 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,640 Aziraphale, let's sort this out. Where's the cardboard box? 313 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,080 -What box? -The one Gabriel arrived with. 314 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,560 Gabriel? He's here? 315 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:32,200 -Sometimes people call me Gabriel. -Yeah, we did a thing... hiding miracle. 316 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,080 Apparently, if we do a miracle together, it all works a bit too well. 317 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:38,560 -Careful. Could be a trap. -[Saraqael] It's a cardboard box. 318 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,800 It's not going to bite you. 319 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,680 Oh, there we go. I thought that's what you were doing. 320 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,800 -What was I doing? -You were writing a message. 321 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,240 Oh, probably to yourself, on the bottom of the box. 322 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:00,720 [Aziraphale] "I am in the fly." 323 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,080 What fly? 324 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,720 Lord Beelzebub, 325 00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:06,720 I believe flies are your department. 326 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,520 Mm. 327 00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,880 There's only one fly here, and it's familiar. 328 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,640 [whistles] Come here. Come on. 329 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,400 -Good boy. [scoffs] -[fly buzzing] 330 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,440 [Beelzebub] No wonder nobody could find you. 331 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,480 This is where you were keeping all your memories. 332 00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,240 All your... you. 333 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,800 Look at you. 334 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,400 You're perfect. 335 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:41,880 Here. 336 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:43,920 Take it. 337 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,800 -[chuckles softly] -Gently. 338 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:49,640 [fly buzzing] 339 00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,200 Now... 340 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,080 open it. 341 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,160 [tense music playing] 342 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,880 [whooshing] 343 00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:15,000 How I am supposed to get ten million angels to stand down 344 00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,200 from their war footing is... 345 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:18,960 It doesn't bear thinking about. 346 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:20,720 You should try to get ten million demons 347 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,200 to put down their weapons and go back to work. 348 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,520 Well, at least we know whose fault it is! 349 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,400 [whooshing] 350 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,440 You can't sit there, I'm waiting for someone. 351 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,080 -You're waiting for me. -I don't think so. 352 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,320 New face. 353 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:45,560 I had the old one for 6,000 years. I just thought it was time for a change. 354 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,920 -I don't know who you are. -Come on, it's me. 355 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,320 Beelzebub. Lord of the Flies. 356 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:53,680 Watch. 357 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:57,800 [fly buzzing] 358 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:00,920 -There you go. -Why did you wanna meet me here? 359 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:02,680 Well, if we're gonna have background talks, 360 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,000 they can't be in either of our home territories. 361 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,200 And what do we need to discuss? 362 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,960 Arma-bloody-geddon. 363 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,720 That was a complete and utter pain in the ass. 364 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,920 -I know, but we are ready for round two. -As are we. 365 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,600 Utterly ready. Armageddon, here we come. 366 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,960 Arma-bloody-geddon. Arma-bloody-geddon. 367 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,480 Ah. [laughs] 368 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,440 -Well, you lost. -So did you. 369 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,240 -No, we didn't. -Well, you didn't win. 370 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:29,960 Tell me about it. 371 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:32,080 Everyone in Heaven is all like, "Well, you're the commander-in-chief, 372 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,240 can't you just make the war happen anyway?" Like, I make the rules. 373 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:36,240 [scoffs] That's exactly what my lot said. 374 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,320 Well, 375 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,600 it's good to know there's someone who understands. Thank you. 376 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,560 It's a pity we'll never speak again. 377 00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:46,160 [whooshing] 378 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:54,360 I have a proposal to make. 379 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:56,520 ["Everyday" by Buddy Holly playing] 380 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,960 Instead of Armageddon, what about... 381 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,040 no Armageddon? 382 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,040 An interesting proposal. 383 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:08,920 No Armageddon. 384 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:11,920 They won't like that, though. 385 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,120 Most of my demons live for Armageddon, if you can call that living. 386 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,040 Well, my angels too. But you can't always get what you... 387 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,240 live for. 388 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,600 Advantages to no Armageddon? 389 00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:26,920 We keep the status quo, static and, um, quo-ey. 390 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,240 -No one can ever know, of course. -Of course. 391 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:34,840 A deal? 392 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:37,200 Mm. 393 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,120 [song continues playing] 394 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:44,280 I like this song. 395 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:47,000 Song? 396 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,560 -The music that's playing now. -What music? 397 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,080 The noise. 398 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:52,640 -That's music? -[chuckles] 399 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:55,080 I like it. 400 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,960 Contains information in a tuneful way. 401 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,120 Every day something is getting closer. 402 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,400 Then, um... Then I also like it. 403 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:12,800 ♪ Love like yours Will surely come my way ♪ 404 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,160 ♪ A-hey, a-hey, hey ♪ 405 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:20,480 ♪ Love like yours Will surely come my way ♪ 406 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:22,760 [song ends] 407 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:25,320 So... 408 00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:27,480 agreement concluded. 409 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,200 No need to ever meet again, is there? 410 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,240 None whatsoever. 411 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,240 [whooshing] 412 00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:46,960 [Gabriel] Let there be light. 413 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:50,160 I think the sculptor really caught something. 414 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,080 The shape of the head. 415 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,120 Beautiful. Really moving. 416 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,680 [Beelzebub] It's a very good likeness. 417 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,360 Sometimes I come here for hours and just... 418 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,440 look at it. 419 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:10,800 [Beelzebub] Right. Shall we go to the pub? 420 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:20,080 Two goblets of your intoxicating liquor, please. And, uh... 421 00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,920 -Packet of crisps. -[man] Very good, sir. 422 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,320 Which liquor would that be? 423 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:28,600 Whichever one it is you humans usually orally consume. 424 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,760 Two pints of regular, then. 425 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,040 [music playing] 426 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:38,360 What's that? 427 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,080 A classic 1960s jukebox. 428 00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:43,760 You don't see many of them these days. 429 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,080 You just put your money in and tell it what you want to hear. 430 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,160 Oh... 431 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:49,920 You people. 432 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,760 Amazing. 433 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:54,520 [whooshing] 434 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:57,560 [Gabriel] Ha! 435 00:25:58,080 --> 00:25:59,360 ["Everyday" by Buddy Holly playing] 436 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,720 ♪ Everyday it's a-gettin' closer ♪ 437 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,240 ♪ Goin' faster than a roller coaster ♪ 438 00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:09,600 ♪ Love like yours will surely come my way... ♪ 439 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,520 [Gabriel] Here you go. 440 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,240 -You don't actually have to consume. -Oh. 441 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,560 -And the... -Oh, packet of crisps? Good. 442 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:24,480 ♪ ...yours will surely come my way ♪ 443 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,160 Is that... Did you... 444 00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:29,960 -A small miracle. -Oh. 445 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,200 That song will always be there on that jukebox, 446 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,600 -to comfort the afflicted. -Mmm. 447 00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,840 I should give you something. 448 00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,880 Here. It's for you. 449 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,080 You never know when you'll need it. 450 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,320 It's a container, so... 451 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,760 it's bigger on the inside. You can put things in it. 452 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,600 -Bye-bye. [chuckles] -[fly buzzing] 453 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:14,520 I don't actually know what to say. 454 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:16,520 Why not? 455 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,360 No one's ever given me anything before. 456 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:24,720 [sighs] 457 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,320 ♪ ...seems a little longer ♪ 458 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,800 ♪ Every way, love's a little... ♪ 459 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:30,880 [whooshing] 460 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,080 [gasps] 461 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,320 [soft music playing] 462 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,600 Aziraphale. 463 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:47,720 [Gabriel laughs] 464 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,520 Michael, Uriel. 465 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,360 -Don't tell me. -I won't. 466 00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,160 -It's Saraqael! -Saraqael! 467 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,320 Yes, I knew that. Of course it is 468 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:02,840 [laughs] 469 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,960 Oh, eesh. 470 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:06,840 You guys. 471 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,760 You. 472 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,560 [sighs] Thank you. 473 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,280 Silly, silly angel. 474 00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:19,360 Why? 475 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,760 I was coming to you, but... 476 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,040 I... 477 00:28:26,120 --> 00:28:27,440 -forgot. -[chuckles] 478 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,320 Well, I think Aziraphale probably took much better care of you 479 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:33,720 than I could've done. 480 00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:34,840 Beelzebub! 481 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,360 You traitor! 482 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,160 Collaborating with Heaven? 483 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:41,440 I didn't collaborate with Heaven 484 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:44,600 any more than Gabriel collaborated with Hell. 485 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,960 I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides. 486 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,160 [chuckles] That's really sweet. 487 00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,520 [gagging] 488 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,520 -Enough to make you believe in true love. -[Michael] Mortals? 489 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,040 What are mortals doing here? Someone turn them into pillars of salt. 490 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:06,720 -Saraqael. -I'm on it. 491 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:09,120 That... That won't be necessary. I'll see to this. 492 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:10,960 Maggie, Nina, you come with me. 493 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:13,720 You got this? 494 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,040 Oh, um, absolutely, yes. 495 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,800 -[soft music playing] -[door opens] 496 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:20,480 [door shuts] 497 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,520 Just don't, uh, tell anybody about any of this. 498 00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,640 Not that anyone would ever believe a word of it. 499 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,560 Oh, God, I should've been open half an hour ago. 500 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,560 How can you think about that after all this? 501 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,800 People need coffee, I sell coffee, it's my coffee shop. 502 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:34,000 -I should be open by now. -Right, nice knowing you both. 503 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,080 Let's say goodbye forever 504 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:36,880 and pretend none of this ever happened, yeah? 505 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,680 Oh. Some of us have been working all night, you know. 506 00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:49,640 Where did you come from? 507 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,640 I don't remember. 508 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:57,560 Good call. Never tell them how it's done, 509 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,320 unless they pay you for it first. Here, pick a card. 510 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,240 I'm going to my shop, to sleep behind the counter. 511 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,000 Unless you'd like some help? 512 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:13,440 Could you nip down the mini mart and pick me up some cream, 513 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,360 oat milk, soy milk, and almond milk? 514 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,800 Mm. I'm on it. 515 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:22,640 [overlapping argument] 516 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:23,840 I can't hear you. 517 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:25,680 [argument continues] 518 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,920 Can we have-- Please, can we have a... 519 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:32,720 [bell ringing] 520 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,480 I've had quite enough of this. 521 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,760 You will speak one at a time. 522 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:46,080 I demand that you handover both Gabriel and Beelzebub 523 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:49,440 as gifts for Satan, our master. 524 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,120 He won't want them. 525 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,440 Maybe as hors d'oeuvres. 526 00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:56,000 And I demand you hand them over to us, 527 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,960 to face celestial punishment. 528 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:00,120 [Saraqael] Obviously we would be reserving the option 529 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,280 to send them both to Hell as our punishment. 530 00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:04,280 But we'd be the ones doing it. 531 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:06,040 Why don't we ask them 532 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:08,040 where they'd like to go? 533 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:09,600 Oh, this is ridiculous. 534 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,480 [Furfur] No, there are precedents. 535 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,280 Hell doing Heaven's punishing for you. 536 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:16,040 Job, that was one. Lovely man, never met him. 537 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,120 Um, Gabriel, 538 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:19,000 Beelzebub, 539 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,480 what do you want? 540 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,600 I would like... 541 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,000 better clothes, 542 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,320 and I would like to be with Beelzebub. 543 00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,200 Wherever Beelzebub is... is my Heaven. 544 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:35,320 [Michael] Mm-hmm. 545 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,320 And where you are, my sweet, is forever my Hell. 546 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:40,920 -[Shax groans softly] -You know, Alpha Centauri's nice. 547 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:42,160 Always wanted to go there. 548 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:45,640 Couple of decent planets. No nightlife to speak of. 549 00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,000 [Uriel] If you leave, 550 00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:48,480 you can never come back. 551 00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,400 -That would be the point. -If you flee, 552 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,800 traitor, 553 00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:56,360 Hell will send all its legions to hunt you down. 554 00:31:56,440 --> 00:32:00,840 You know as well as I do how badly understaffed Hell is right now. 555 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:03,200 Anyway, with me not there, Shax, 556 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,800 you could be the next Grand Duke of Hell. 557 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:09,600 Grand Duke of Hell. 558 00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:11,880 Angels and Demons, they can't just-- 559 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,000 [singing] ♪ Everyday, it's a-getting closer ♪ 560 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:20,560 ♪ Going faster than a rollercoaster ♪ 561 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,880 ♪ Love like yours will ♪ 562 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,760 ♪ Surely come my way ♪ 563 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,680 ♪ A-hey, a-hey-hey ♪ 564 00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:32,440 Ah, if you're going back to Hell, can I get my flat back? 565 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,800 -Who the hell cares? -I care! 566 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,520 I'm bored of living in my car. 567 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,240 [mumbles] And I don't think my car's much of a fan of it either. 568 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,160 I believe the Dark Council 569 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,720 will have something to say about all this nonsense. 570 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,960 Well, I'm sure they'll be thrilled that the mighty Shax 571 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,000 has uncovered a traitor in our midst. 572 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:53,600 [Shax growls] 573 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,840 Let's find out, shall we? 574 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:09,840 Order accurately and fast. I haven't slept in 30 hours 575 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,160 and I will not hesitate to mock you if I don't like your order. 576 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,800 Yes, I quite understand. 577 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:16,080 I'd like a... 578 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,400 large oat milk latte 579 00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:22,680 with a dash of almond syrup, please. 580 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:24,680 Coming up. 581 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,760 Do people ever ask for death? 582 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:28,920 What? 583 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,640 Well, the name of your establishment, "Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death." 584 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,760 I assume they always ask for coffee. 585 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:37,920 They don't ever ask for death, no. 586 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:39,880 No, I don't suppose they do. 587 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,480 So predictable. 588 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,960 I am authorized to remove the name of anyone 589 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:48,400 who helped Gabriel from the Book of Life. 590 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,360 You will never have existed, Aziraphale. 591 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:52,440 [door opens] 592 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:53,840 [Michael] In the absence of Gabriel, 593 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,320 -I am the Supreme Archangel. -Duty officer. 594 00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:58,080 -[Michael] And I-- -Excuse me, I'm sorry, 595 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:00,160 I must interrupt you there. 596 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:01,880 Um... 597 00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:04,520 Oh, and I've brought over a coffee. 598 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,960 I don't believe I asked for any interruptions. 599 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,560 I couldn't help it. You're talking utter balderdash. 600 00:34:10,639 --> 00:34:12,159 I mean, complete piffle! 601 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,800 You don't have the authority to do anything like that. 602 00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:17,840 Um, and who are you? 603 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:20,159 For Heaven's sake. 604 00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,080 And I mean that most literally. You don't know me? 605 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,639 Well, uh, what about you, Demon? Do you know me? 606 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:31,280 -Get him out of here! -[Metatron] Really? 607 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:32,760 [Crowley] Oh, I know you. 608 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:36,159 Last time I saw you, you were a big, floating giant head, man. 609 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:37,960 Oh! 610 00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:39,880 The Metatron. 611 00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:41,120 -[all gasp] -[Metatron] Correct! 612 00:34:41,159 --> 00:34:43,600 This calls much less attention, though. 613 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:48,040 Right, you, you, you, back to Heaven, spit, spot, not another word. 614 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,920 Ah-ah-ah! Not you. 615 00:34:51,639 --> 00:34:55,159 Um... Your... Your Reverence, your... 616 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,080 -You Grace, your... -Oh, come on, spit it out. 617 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,040 Have we done anything wrong? 618 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,880 Well, that remains to be seen, does it not? 619 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:08,480 Well, go on, off you go, the lot of you! 620 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,440 Except the dim one. 621 00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:13,440 I may need you. 622 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:19,680 Right. 623 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,680 It's just you and me, Aziraphale, eh? 624 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:27,640 I think we need to have a bit of a chinwag, 625 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:29,800 don't you? 626 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:32,120 I don't believe there's anything left to be said. 627 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,960 I've made my position quite clear. 628 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,120 Yeah, well, I brought you a coffee from the shop. 629 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,960 It's an oat milk latte 630 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,880 with a hefty jigger of almond syrup. 631 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:45,880 -You brought me a coffee? -Are you going to take it? 632 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,480 -Shall I? -Drink it? 633 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,320 Of course. 634 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:57,040 I've ingested things in my time, you know. 635 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:00,760 It's... It's very nice. 636 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:02,840 Yes, I should jolly well hope so. 637 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,920 Well, we have things to talk about. 638 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,120 Shall we take a little stroll? 639 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:09,160 Um... 640 00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:12,080 Mm. Go on. They can't get any weirder. 641 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,680 [tense music playing] 642 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,000 [sighs] 643 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,120 [door opens] 644 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,040 Oh. 645 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:34,640 You should leave now too. 646 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,040 The Metatron told me to wait. 647 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,800 He said he might need me. 648 00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,160 Me! [chuckles] He might need me. 649 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:45,640 Marvelous. Have a gold star. 650 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,600 -They'll be back soon. -Yes. 651 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:52,160 When Aziraphale does come back, I think we need a little us time. 652 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:56,480 After all this, I think we are going for 653 00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:01,840 an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz. 654 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,040 Brilliant idea! [laughs] 655 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:06,160 Breakfast. Us time. 656 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:08,160 Just us. Not you. 657 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,320 Oh. [laughs] Oh, right, yes. 658 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,800 I can, um, explore the bookshop. 659 00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:16,480 [sighs] 660 00:37:16,560 --> 00:37:19,120 [Crowley] Um... you need to go. 661 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,080 Can I... Can I take a book with me? 662 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,320 I was looking at one earlier. 663 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:27,480 They're like people, only portable. 664 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:31,640 Go for it. Here, you'll like this one. 665 00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,760 -No, it won't do any good. -It doesn't matter. 666 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,680 -We have to tell them. -[scoffs] 667 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:40,040 Fine. 668 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,440 Anyone wants anything, tell 'em we'll be back in five minutes. 669 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:44,280 Okay. 670 00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:47,680 [soft music playing] 671 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:49,680 [snaps fingers] 672 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:09,640 [sighs] 673 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,160 Tidied up. 674 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,800 Where's the other one? We need to talk to you. 675 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,040 -He's out. Not a good time. -[Nina] I wasn't asking. 676 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:26,480 There are things you need to hear. 677 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:30,600 You and your... partner have been messing about in our lives. 678 00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,400 We're not a game. We're real people. 679 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,160 You can't just pair us up for your amusement. 680 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:39,400 [mumbles] You were crying and Nina needed rescuing and-- 681 00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,000 My relationship just ended. 682 00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,000 I am not ready to start another one yet. 683 00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,320 I'd just be a rebound mess. 684 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:46,960 I can't start seeing Maggie. 685 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,680 When I'm ready, I hope she'll be there, but there isn't any guarantee. 686 00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:53,760 -There is. -You're not helping, angel. 687 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:55,840 Look at you two. 688 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,480 You're the hard bitten one, the can't trust anyone ever again, 689 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,640 and Mr. Wherever He Is is the soft one who still believes in magic 690 00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,600 and people being basically good and all that. 691 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,400 Why are you telling me all this? I don't understand. 692 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,160 That's why she's telling you. 693 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:10,960 Because you don't understand. 694 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,360 Because you and Mr. Fell don't ever talk to each other. 695 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,000 We talk all the time! 696 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,640 We've been talking for millions of years. 697 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,600 Bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla-bla. 698 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,560 I say something brilliant, he says something 699 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,400 unintentionally funny back. It's great. 700 00:39:26,480 --> 00:39:28,960 You never say what you're really thinking. 701 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:31,280 That was all we needed. 702 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,840 It's what you two need as well. 703 00:39:37,080 --> 00:39:39,160 Well, you don't have to answer immediately. 704 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,640 Take all the time you need. 705 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,640 I... I don't know what to say. 706 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,640 Well then, go and tell your friend the good news. 707 00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:53,360 [soft music playing] 708 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,480 -We're just going. -I'm sure you two have a lot to say. 709 00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,160 What's that you're holding, Muriel? 710 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:29,520 A book. 711 00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,280 It's called a book. 712 00:40:31,360 --> 00:40:33,880 I'm "reading" a book. 713 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,360 Excellent! 714 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,480 What a perfectly splendid thing to do! 715 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,120 Is it? 716 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:44,440 Oh. [laughs] Yes. Jolly good. 717 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:50,880 Look, I suppose, um... 718 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,120 I've got something to say. 719 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,160 I know we ought to be talking about... 720 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,960 It's probably best if I start off doing all the talking, 721 00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,040 you do all the listening, 'cause if I don't start talking now, 722 00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:59,800 I won't ever start talking, right? 723 00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:01,760 -Yes, so-- -What's that lovely human expression? 724 00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,320 Oh, yes! Hold that thought. [chuckles] 725 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:05,680 You see, I... 726 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,560 I have some incredibly good news to give you. 727 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,920 -Really? -I... um... 728 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,640 So, um... 729 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,600 the Metatron, you know, I don't think he's as bad a fellow-- 730 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,960 Well, I think I might've misjudged him. 731 00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:24,920 You see, I-- Well, he said, um, 732 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,800 that Gabriel 733 00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:29,080 obviously hadn't worked out... [laughs] 734 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,640 as Supreme Archangel and Commander of the Heavenly Host, 735 00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,280 and he asked who I thought should take over in Heaven 736 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:36,840 now that Gabriel was gone. 737 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:37,920 And I said... 738 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:42,200 -Michael? -Oh, don't be silly! No, no, no, no, no. 739 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:46,200 There's only one candidate who makes even the slightest bit of sense. 740 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,280 And that's you. 741 00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,840 And I said, "Me?" 742 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,440 And he said... 743 00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,360 Well, yes. You're a leader, 744 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:58,600 you're honest, you don't just tell people what they want to hear. 745 00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:02,960 It's why Gabriel came to you in the first place, I imagine. 746 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:07,400 There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, 747 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:10,320 and I will need you to run them. 748 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,160 You are just the angel for the job. 749 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,600 I... I don't want to go back to Heaven. 750 00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,080 Where would I get my coffee? 751 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:24,040 You know, as Supreme Archangel, 752 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,480 you would be able to decide who to work with. 753 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:31,160 Yeah, I've been looking back over a number of your... 754 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,400 previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them 755 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:37,400 you formed a de facto partnership 756 00:42:38,160 --> 00:42:39,760 with the demon Crowley. 757 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:42,960 Now, if you wanted to work with him again, that... 758 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,680 might be considered irregular, 759 00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,880 but it would certainly be within your jurisdiction 760 00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:52,800 to restore your friend, Crowley, 761 00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,600 to full angelic status. 762 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,760 He said what? 763 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,000 He said I could appoint you 764 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,000 to be an angel. 765 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,320 You could come back to Heaven and... 766 00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:08,480 and everything, 767 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,600 like the old times. 768 00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:13,600 Only, even nicer. 769 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:15,840 Right. 770 00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,520 And you told him just where he could stick it, then? 771 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:23,680 Not at all. 772 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,040 Oh, we're better than that, you're better than that, Angel! 773 00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,160 You don't need them. I certainly don't need them! 774 00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,600 Look, they asked me back to Hell, I said no. 775 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,920 I'm not gonna be joining their team. Neither should you. 776 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:35,800 But... Well, obviously you said no to Hell, 777 00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:36,920 you're the bad guys. 778 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:39,000 But Heaven... 779 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:43,560 Well, it's the side of truth, of light, 780 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:45,800 of good. 781 00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,360 When Heaven ends life here on Earth, 782 00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,800 it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it. 783 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,200 Tell me you said no. 784 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,520 Tell me you said no. 785 00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:07,880 If I'm in charge... 786 00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:10,840 I can make a difference. 787 00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,400 Oh. 788 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,960 Oh, God. Right, okay. 789 00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:17,760 Right. I didn't get a chance to say what I was going to say, 790 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:18,960 I think I'd better say it now 791 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:21,400 Right, okay, yes, so... 792 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:23,720 [sighs] 793 00:44:25,800 --> 00:44:27,360 We've known each other a long time. 794 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,680 We've been on this planet for a long time. I mean, you and me. 795 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:34,240 I could always rely on you. 796 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,680 You could always rely on me. We're a team, a group. 797 00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:39,560 Group of the two of us. 798 00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:43,800 And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't. 799 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,960 I mean, the last few years, not really. 800 00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:57,320 And I would like to spend... [grunts] 801 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:01,520 I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub 802 00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:05,040 can do it, go off together, then we can. 803 00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,320 Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven, 804 00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:10,560 we don't need Hell, they're toxic. 805 00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,640 We need to get away from them, just be an us. 806 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:16,800 -You and me, what do you say? -Come with me... 807 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,360 to Heaven. I'll run it, you can be my second in command. 808 00:45:22,440 --> 00:45:23,880 We can make a difference. 809 00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:26,920 You can't leave this bookshop. 810 00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,120 Oh, Crowley. 811 00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:33,680 Nothing lasts forever. 812 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:38,040 No. 813 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:42,520 No, I don't suppose it does. 814 00:45:46,240 --> 00:45:47,240 Good luck. 815 00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,400 Good luck? Crowley! 816 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:51,840 Crowley, come back, 817 00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:53,640 to Heaven! 818 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:56,400 Work with me! 819 00:45:58,360 --> 00:45:59,560 We can be together! 820 00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:01,160 Angels... 821 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:03,680 doing good! 822 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:05,200 [somber music playing] 823 00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,200 I... I need you! 824 00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:15,320 I don't think you understand what I'm offering you. 825 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:16,680 I understand. 826 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,800 I think I understand a whole lot better than you do. 827 00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,080 Well... 828 00:46:25,720 --> 00:46:27,040 then there's nothing more to say. 829 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,040 Listen. 830 00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:32,960 Do you hear that? 831 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:36,360 I don't hear anything. 832 00:46:37,840 --> 00:46:38,840 That's the point. 833 00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:41,440 No nightingales. 834 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:44,000 [melancholy music playing] 835 00:46:45,240 --> 00:46:46,440 You idiot. 836 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:49,200 We could have been... us. 837 00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,480 [music intensifies] 838 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:14,680 I... 839 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:20,360 I forgive you. 840 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:22,880 [sighs] 841 00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:26,520 [Crowley] Don't bother. 842 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:31,800 [melancholy music] 843 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:33,600 [door shuts] 844 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:48,200 How did he take it? 845 00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:52,320 Um, not well. [giggles] 846 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,360 Ah, well, always did want to go his own way. 847 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,080 Always asking damn fool questions, too. 848 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,240 Right, ready to start? 849 00:48:03,240 --> 00:48:04,240 I... 850 00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:06,840 But, um... 851 00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:09,600 my bookshop. 852 00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:12,480 Yes, well, for now 853 00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:14,960 I've entrusted it to Muriel, 854 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:16,960 so it should be in good hands. 855 00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:19,760 But... 856 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,840 Anything you need to take with you? 857 00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:27,720 No. 858 00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:29,800 Nothing I can think of. 859 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:31,960 [Metatron] Ah. 860 00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:37,320 I think I... 861 00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,400 -Nothing at all. [giggles] -[door opens] 862 00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:57,000 [Metatron] Well, I can't think of a better angel 863 00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:58,800 to wrap things up, 864 00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:00,800 and to set into motion 865 00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:03,600 the next step in the great plan. 866 00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,840 Um, yes, you mentioned that. 867 00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:07,440 Can I know what it is? 868 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,000 Well, it's something we need an angel of your talents to direct. 869 00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:14,960 An angel who is familiar with how they do things on Earth. 870 00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,720 -Ah. -We call it the Second Coming. 871 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:19,520 [dramatic music] 872 00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:42,360 [sighs] 873 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,880 [automated voice] Doors closing. Going up. 874 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,080 [melancholy music playing] 875 00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:15,200 [car engine starts] 876 00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:16,840 ["A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square" by Michael Bublé playing] 877 00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:21,080 ♪ A nightingale sang ♪ 878 00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:25,720 ♪ In Berkeley Square ♪ 879 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:29,880 [music stops] 880 00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:33,800 [melancholy music playing] 881 00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:50,760 [music continues]