1 00:00:38,164 --> 00:00:41,416 We will have free bread and medicine for all, 2 00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:43,919 education and art for all. 3 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,590 Every Russian heart will be full of joy, 4 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,635 their stomach full of food, 5 00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:54,804 and their mind full of ideas. 6 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,265 This is Russia. 7 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,642 Well, what does that mean? 8 00:00:58,643 --> 00:01:00,186 It needs to be believable. 9 00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,521 We must aim high. 10 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:04,690 No, he's right. 11 00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:06,983 "No one will rape you or kill your children, 12 00:01:06,984 --> 00:01:09,304 and occasionally there will be some bread" would be enough. 13 00:01:09,904 --> 00:01:13,698 Oh, so far, I've written a 74-page treatise. 14 00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:16,368 I thought perhaps some montaigne. 15 00:01:16,369 --> 00:01:17,620 I got stuck on machiavelli. 16 00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:22,583 Read in the French translation, he says the ends justify the means. 17 00:01:23,459 --> 00:01:27,170 But in the original Italian, he merely asks. 18 00:01:27,171 --> 00:01:29,714 Oh, sorry! 19 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:32,509 I was holding... holding the tray, 20 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:35,887 and then I fell asleep listening to you both. 21 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:39,182 Is this a coup or a fucking book club? 22 00:01:40,685 --> 00:01:43,395 The blini must be lighter, with a hint, a fucking hint, 23 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:45,355 of Rosemary, not a fucking ball bag of it. 24 00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:49,109 I think it is right. Strong is good. 25 00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:51,696 Maybe you're right, Louis. Let me check again. 26 00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,787 Turns out, no. 27 00:02:01,372 --> 00:02:03,498 How's this for your speech? 28 00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:05,166 Something like this. 29 00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:09,587 "My father, Peter the great, was a leader like none before, 30 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:13,383 who catapulted Russia to a greatness hitherto 31 00:02:13,384 --> 00:02:14,718 never seen on this earth. 32 00:02:14,719 --> 00:02:18,930 Without parallel, a man who bestrode the lands like a colossus..." 33 00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:20,308 0h, shut up, arkady. 34 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,810 You don't like it? 35 00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:26,396 I do not remember the new rule where ijustify why I tell you to shut up. 36 00:02:26,397 --> 00:02:27,523 Do you? 37 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:37,533 - I hate these fuckers. - Who? 38 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:39,951 The generals, your father's buddies. 39 00:02:39,952 --> 00:02:42,662 When we were kids, what assholes. 40 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:46,041 No. No, marvelous men, and they must have a great day. 41 00:02:46,042 --> 00:02:49,502 It will be a grand day that honors your father and reflects glory on you. 42 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,463 If we get the fucking blini right, it will. 43 00:02:51,464 --> 00:02:55,050 - Leo voronsky. - Oh. Forgot all about him. 44 00:02:55,051 --> 00:02:57,010 Emperor, it's an honor. 45 00:02:57,011 --> 00:02:58,346 Of course it is. 46 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,850 Show us your cock. 47 00:03:04,477 --> 00:03:05,895 Of course. 48 00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:13,986 Marvelous. 49 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,738 - George? - Indeed. 50 00:03:16,739 --> 00:03:17,739 Chaps? 51 00:03:20,659 --> 00:03:23,662 Hmm. Brilliant. Come. 52 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:28,042 Mm. 53 00:03:31,796 --> 00:03:33,381 Why do we not just kill him? 54 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:37,258 Next time he is on you, stab him in the face. 55 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:40,929 I in the back, orlo cuts his throat, and then you are empress, 56 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,765 and I am lady marial. The end. 57 00:03:43,766 --> 00:03:45,892 But it... it is not so simple. 58 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,603 We need the church to ratify her to the whole of Russia 59 00:03:48,604 --> 00:03:51,147 from the pulpit after, so they must support her. 60 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:55,735 And if Ivan is alive, we need a sympathetic military, 61 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,779 for if we kill him before that is all in place, 62 00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:00,824 then the military and others may get behind Ivan, 63 00:04:00,825 --> 00:04:02,158 and run over Catherine in the process. 64 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,786 - No one even knows where Ivan is. - Who is Ivan? 65 00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:07,163 Ivan is Peter's half-brother, 66 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,666 bastard son to Peter the great. 67 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:13,045 His supporters tried to take the throne after Peter first came to power. 68 00:04:13,879 --> 00:04:15,589 I will find out where he is. 69 00:04:18,801 --> 00:04:20,136 Cleverly. 70 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:24,764 I suspect we need a year to get our pamphletsjust right. 71 00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,391 It's no wonder you never fuck anyone. 72 00:04:26,392 --> 00:04:28,643 You... you cannot speak to me like that. 73 00:04:28,644 --> 00:04:30,062 Because I am a serf? 74 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:32,148 Because it's rude. 75 00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:38,236 How dare you! 76 00:04:38,237 --> 00:04:40,030 You just walk into my chambers, sir. 77 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:43,741 I would have ridden, but my horse has trouble with stairs. 78 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:44,869 Empress? 79 00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:46,778 Orlo, what are you doing here? 80 00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,289 - Uh... - He brought me a book. 81 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:52,375 Uh, I thought the empress would be interested... 82 00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:54,002 - Oh, god, you're dull. Get out. - Sir. 83 00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:01,051 I have brought you a gift. I promised you a lover. 84 00:05:02,219 --> 00:05:03,303 A lover? 85 00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,138 It is thoughtful of me, I agree. 86 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:08,057 This is Leo. His father, Sergei, was a famous ladies' man. 87 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,768 Leo is smart, reads books, recites sonnets, 88 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:13,563 can hunt with the best, enjoys fine wines and offal, 89 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:15,273 and has a pretty big cock. 90 00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:18,985 Added advantage: Had mumps as a child, so is sterile. Huzzah. 91 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,320 I hope you like him. 92 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:22,280 Make her happy, or else. 93 00:05:22,281 --> 00:05:24,283 Must dash. Big day. 94 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,913 You may go, sir. 95 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:33,166 You... I'd rather not. 96 00:05:33,167 --> 00:05:34,792 I do not care. I said you may go. 97 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:38,254 I'd rather stay a while, so at least he thought it went well, 98 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,131 if you don't mind. And if you do, 99 00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:42,008 I cordially invite you to my execution 100 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,303 and wish we'd known each other better. 101 00:05:46,347 --> 00:05:47,431 Fine. 102 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,769 Sit there. 103 00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,272 Ithank you. 104 00:06:00,653 --> 00:06:02,403 We were listening. Is that your lover? 105 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,323 - Apparently. - Mmm, he is very good-looking. 106 00:06:05,324 --> 00:06:07,116 - I did not notice. - Hmm. 107 00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,827 It is disgusting that he would just give me a lover, 108 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,621 like I am an animal to be serviced. 109 00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,164 Well, you would be serviced well. 110 00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:16,126 He's a voronsky, they are well-known lovers. 111 00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:19,964 - Really? - Mm. His father was legendary. 112 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:26,803 The very week we start our adventure, Peter gifts you this man. 113 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:29,138 He is well-known to insert spies into situations. 114 00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:32,225 I've seen him do it before. 0h, fuck. Maybe he knows. 115 00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:34,811 And I was there and we had our pamphlets everywhere. Jesus Christ. 116 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:37,021 - Jesus Christ... - 0rlo, relax. 117 00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:38,106 Peter does not know. 118 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:39,524 He could not. 119 00:06:39,525 --> 00:06:41,067 I will give him back. 120 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,279 How? He's Peter's gift. 121 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,782 Cleverly. 122 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:51,161 Empress, you wanted to know when the dresses for the ladies' tea arrived. 123 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:54,998 Oh, it's great! 124 00:06:54,999 --> 00:06:57,001 That is very nice. 125 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:59,795 Hmm. 126 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,508 0h. 127 00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:08,136 Empress, do you like it? 128 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:12,432 Mm. It looks marvelous. You will stand out. 129 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:13,892 As I always do. 130 00:07:16,145 --> 00:07:17,146 Come on. 131 00:07:25,738 --> 00:07:28,489 It's very big. Did it have to be so big? 132 00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:32,036 Of course. Your father was an exceptional man. 133 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:36,456 I remember when I was 17 and he'd look at me at dinner. 134 00:07:36,457 --> 00:07:39,960 It was like the very air around me thinned, and I could not breathe. 135 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:43,963 One day, hejust walked into the room I was in, and... 136 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,424 Locked eyes on mine, and I knew. 137 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:49,052 And I just lifted up my dress and bent over the table, 138 00:07:49,053 --> 00:07:50,095 and he came and took me. 139 00:07:52,765 --> 00:07:54,767 My first-ever time. 140 00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:56,602 God. 141 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,063 I'm wet at the thought of it. 142 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,733 You perhaps did not need to hear that story. 143 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:06,027 I knew it. I was there. 144 00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:07,528 What? 145 00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:08,863 In the room. 146 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,574 - Playing soldiers in the corner. - Really? 147 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:13,910 - Mm. - How strange. 148 00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:15,536 Fucking suit's too tight. 149 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:18,415 You, too, will grow into a great leader. 150 00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,959 He didn't think so. 151 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,421 He challenged you, that is all. 152 00:08:25,089 --> 00:08:26,256 Meet it. 153 00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,595 It's too big. 154 00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:33,097 Fucking thing. 155 00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:42,814 Know anything about this lover the emperor has given Catherine? 156 00:08:42,815 --> 00:08:47,860 - What? Lover? - That is immoral and disgusting. 157 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:48,987 Poor child. 158 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,239 So you did not know? 159 00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:54,033 It is not a gambit of some sort? 160 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,202 A spy on her? 161 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,414 The emperor! Empress! 162 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:03,751 - Thank you for the gift. - Hmm. Did you try him yet? 163 00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:07,547 It is very kind, but I do not need a lover. I have you. 164 00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:10,133 Our fucking is as dull as a beaver chomping at a log. 165 00:09:10,134 --> 00:09:11,968 You need a lover. It will cheer you. 166 00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,178 Grigor, how happy does it make me to fuck your wife? 167 00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:16,264 It seems to be a constant source of joy. 168 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:18,142 And that is exactly what I wish for you. 169 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,644 Here they come. Shut up. 170 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,938 - Give me some of your medals. - What? 171 00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:25,733 Give me some of your fucking medals. 172 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:38,494 Welcome home. 173 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:42,749 The Russian fighting man is the greatest in the world. 174 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:47,128 I have created a Rosemary blini, stuffed with chicken hearts, 175 00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:49,505 representing those evil, blond Swedish fucks. 176 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,549 We will munch on their tasty hearts. 177 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,509 - Huzzah! - And then, 178 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:59,015 wash it down with a black pepper vodka that my father loved, as he loved you all. 179 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:02,269 Huzzah. To Peter the great. 180 00:10:06,857 --> 00:10:09,067 To me. Peter the... 181 00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,614 Huzzah! 182 00:10:14,615 --> 00:10:18,201 Gentlemen, while the Swedes tend their wounded for a day or two 183 00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:20,036 before we crush them properly, 184 00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:23,456 we will eat and drink and celebrate our greatness. 185 00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:26,376 - Huzzah. - Huzzah! 186 00:10:29,046 --> 00:10:31,464 - It went well, did you think, grigor? - It was a triumph. 187 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:34,467 If I might brief you on the military briefing, sir. 188 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,220 I am an instinctive military genius as my father before me. 189 00:10:37,221 --> 00:10:40,306 - I need no briefing. - Yes, indeed. 190 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,267 I have, um... Come to understand that you've 191 00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:46,103 gifted a lover to the empress, sir. 192 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:49,440 I would like to offer my services in this regard, 193 00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:53,278 if this one does not work out and a replacement is required. 194 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:58,407 - Grigor, did you...? - I did. 195 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,916 - That's rich, velementov. - Oh, bravo, sir. 196 00:11:06,917 --> 00:11:09,001 - I feel, uh... - Can you imagine? 197 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:14,257 This warthog with his tiny cock that spurts only vodka on top of the... 198 00:11:19,054 --> 00:11:22,348 You have cheered me no end. Bravo. 199 00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:25,434 Indeed. A remarkablejape from me. 200 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:35,027 Aunt Elizabeth. 201 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,321 Darling Catherine. 202 00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,949 - Look at that smile. - Mm. 203 00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,411 - It's a lifesaver, isn't it? - Indeed. 204 00:11:43,412 --> 00:11:45,163 Look at these fish. 205 00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:49,542 I used to watch them, thinking them quite content. 206 00:11:49,543 --> 00:11:52,629 Now I realize they've gone completely fucking mad. 207 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:55,841 Who's Ivan? 208 00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,094 Who mentioned dear Ivan? 209 00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:03,557 I overheard someone. I don't know who. 210 00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:07,561 I am still new, and I'm rather slow to learn names. 211 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,523 But it did seem a somewhat thrilling mystery. 212 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:20,908 As you were. 213 00:12:31,627 --> 00:12:33,795 I have the only key. 214 00:12:41,053 --> 00:12:43,554 - Ivan! - Lizzie! 215 00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:45,891 Cake! 216 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:53,148 - This is Catherine. - The empress. 217 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:55,776 Lovely to meet you. 218 00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,279 Do you like my pictures? 219 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,877 Marvelous. 220 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,095 Getting so big. 221 00:13:25,222 --> 00:13:26,932 We must go now. 222 00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,309 Is Peter coming to see me? 223 00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:33,271 - He's very busy. - I won't stab him. 224 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,817 I haven't even hidden a knife anywhere. 225 00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:40,612 Of course you haven't. You're far too sweet. 226 00:13:41,238 --> 00:13:42,406 My mother? 227 00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:48,328 Catherine, come visit me again. 228 00:13:49,789 --> 00:13:51,414 Fucking promise it! 229 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:54,250 Darling! Darling! Rude. 230 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:59,005 Sorry. I just want someone to play with. 231 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:01,382 Of course you do, darling. 232 00:14:01,383 --> 00:14:02,926 I'll be back later. 233 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,815 He is a danger to us. 234 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:21,028 I suppose we should kill him, but he is sort of family, and we are sentimental. 235 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:25,072 But now there is you, and soon an heir. 236 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,615 Thank you for showing me. 237 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:29,201 Oh, you are my family. I will show you everything. 238 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,287 Including how to find happiness here, 239 00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:34,207 and you will bear us an heir and strengthen our line. 240 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,669 But you must also know where danger lies. 241 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,548 If you see who was talking about him, 242 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,008 you point them out to me. 243 00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:45,802 Indeed. 244 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,138 Huzzah! 245 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:52,683 Gentlemen, let us begin. 246 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,103 The Swede... first, a toast. 247 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:59,648 To our friend and leader, the emperor's father, Peter the great. 248 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,985 Huzzah! 249 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:06,323 I have a new one, in his honor. 250 00:15:07,032 --> 00:15:08,908 Booyah! Booyah! 251 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:13,537 I also have the Swede's nose who scratched me, in a bag! 252 00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,748 Booyah! Booyah! 253 00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,417 To our brave Russian fighting men from my battalion, 254 00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:23,255 who have won a battle on the field, opening up a chance of victory! 255 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,424 No, if we... 256 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,927 My battalion, outnumbered two to one, 257 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:31,055 ran these fuckers into a ravine, 258 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:32,890 and then we just waited above them for days, 259 00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:35,434 till the fuckers went mad and shot themselves. 260 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,570 Can we start? 261 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:48,865 Indeed. 262 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,743 Focus up. The Swedes are here, 263 00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:55,204 here, and here. 264 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:57,833 - Now, I suggest... - Give me that. 265 00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,878 When I started this war against Sweden, it was because... 266 00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,091 Well, my father beat them, and I... 267 00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:10,344 And the Swedes are fucking depraved animals, 268 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,637 as is well known. 269 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:15,391 Blond, moose buggering, iingonberry gorging, humorless fucks, 270 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:17,643 with a seaport we would do well to have. 271 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:21,313 But then, instead of winning, you allow us to be pushed back, 272 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,691 so they are now in Russia itself. 273 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:26,318 It's a fucking mess, to summarize. 274 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,030 So I have a plan. 275 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,910 I say we... 276 00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:38,330 Come from here, through here, 277 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,958 split our forces in four, all at once, 278 00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:43,043 probably at night so they cannot see us. 279 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:44,628 Maybe we have horses, 280 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,797 although they are noisy, so maybe we just run there. 281 00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:49,383 Then, at dawn, when they are breakfasting with cock in one hand 282 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,760 and brioche in other, we attack and destroy them, 283 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,762 winning the war in one morning. 284 00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,057 Huzzah! 285 00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,978 - It's an interesting idea. - It is genius. 286 00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:03,230 Pick it apart if you can, you fat fuck. 287 00:17:03,231 --> 00:17:05,357 Huh. Booyah! 288 00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,651 Well... 289 00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:11,238 Sir, this is a river, 11 feet deep, 290 00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:14,576 which you wish our men to cross. 291 00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,497 Boats. 292 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,793 Carry boats? 293 00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:29,798 May slow us down somewhat, sir, making us susceptible to attack. 294 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:33,510 Also, this is an open plain. 295 00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:36,389 It cannot be approached by stealth. 296 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:42,519 At night, wearing black. 297 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,897 Or green, if the grass is tall. 298 00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:54,991 The emperor has given us much food for thought. 299 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,662 I will lay out my plan and incorporate 300 00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:02,540 some of the emperor's fine thoughts. 301 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:08,463 - Huzzah. - Huzzah! 302 00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:14,593 Just sound it out. 303 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,221 Ti... gers? 304 00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:19,974 - Tigers... - Yes. 305 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:23,519 Like to eat... people. 306 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,731 - Yes! - Thank you. 307 00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:44,666 You could at least unwrap him before you send him back. 308 00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:49,878 I have far more important things to do. 309 00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,299 Being empress is wasted on you. 310 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,720 - I met Ivan. - Fuck. 311 00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:00,514 - Where? - In the palace! 312 00:19:00,515 --> 00:19:02,725 Locked away and heavily guarded. 313 00:19:02,726 --> 00:19:04,518 So we need the military. 314 00:19:04,519 --> 00:19:09,190 In fact, why not velementov himself, the leader of the military? 315 00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:11,400 He has a shine for me, I believe. 316 00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,235 The drooling gives it away, I think. 317 00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:16,406 We must tell orlo. He must work on them too. 318 00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,385 Oh. Hello. 319 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,387 What did my husband say to you? 320 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:44,308 He said I was to make you happy, said it was important to him. 321 00:19:44,309 --> 00:19:46,393 - And that is all? - There was more. 322 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:49,688 He said if you showed any animation at all while we were doing it, 323 00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:51,523 emit a noise, stir a limb, puff a breath, 324 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,275 he would give me a thousand rubles, 325 00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:56,404 bronze my manhood and put it on display in a museum. 326 00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,239 And what did you say to that? 327 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:02,534 I said I thought it would just be nice if Russia had a museum. 328 00:20:05,789 --> 00:20:07,040 I see. 329 00:20:07,749 --> 00:20:10,959 And why did he choose you? You are friends, I assume? 330 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,003 I have met him twice, through my father. 331 00:20:13,004 --> 00:20:14,671 The famous lover. 332 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:17,007 It is to undersell him. He was a fascinating man, 333 00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:19,468 who loved women, music, wine, 334 00:20:19,469 --> 00:20:23,639 and sitting a field watching starlings swirl at sunset with his son. 335 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:26,600 But the ladies' man seems to be what has stuck. 336 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,728 So you are a professional lover also. 337 00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,689 Do not laugh at me. 338 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,733 I will share thejoke and then we will laugh together. 339 00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:39,197 As I take it you do not desire a lover, I will let you in on my secret. 340 00:20:39,823 --> 00:20:41,907 I have only had sex once, 341 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,742 with my drunk and very sweet, 342 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,412 very plump cousin who rather forced herself upon me. 343 00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:50,833 It was not unpleasant, I suppose, but I really had no idea what I was doing. 344 00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:53,378 - Your father did not educate you? - Not really. 345 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:56,630 He was a big believer in discovery and adventure, 346 00:20:56,631 --> 00:20:58,758 and said he would not deprive me of either. 347 00:21:00,051 --> 00:21:01,386 Do you aim to charm me? 348 00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,012 I would like not to be killed, of course. 349 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:05,556 But I cannot guess what will charm you, 350 00:21:05,557 --> 00:21:07,099 as I cannot really guess what will save me. 351 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:10,645 One must simply live and hope it goes well and is fun while one does it. 352 00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:14,190 Unless I should try to charm you. 353 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:17,651 Actually, I will try. 354 00:21:17,652 --> 00:21:20,822 It'll be fun, albeit possibly fatal if it goes awry. 355 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:25,325 I know, a lover should, of course, bring a gift. 356 00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:26,661 But you have not. 357 00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,830 I have indeed. 358 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:34,585 You have made an error. 359 00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:37,130 It is not a gift. It is a peach. 360 00:21:37,714 --> 00:21:40,215 When you eat it, you should put it into your mouth, 361 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,426 bite it once, tip your head back, 362 00:21:42,427 --> 00:21:45,472 and let thejuice run into your throat. 363 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,017 I know how to eat a peach. 364 00:21:49,726 --> 00:21:52,187 I will never underestimate you again. 365 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:08,619 Mmm! Extraordinary! 366 00:22:08,620 --> 00:22:12,122 Thejuice runs in and pools at the throat, 367 00:22:12,123 --> 00:22:15,709 and then gushes down, like a waterfall of sweetness. 368 00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:26,930 You may stay the night. 369 00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:31,267 Sleep on the chaise. 370 00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:33,685 Then in the morning, I shall go to Peter, 371 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,896 thank him for you, say you were pleasant. 372 00:22:35,897 --> 00:22:37,482 You shall be safe, and we will be done. 373 00:22:45,740 --> 00:22:46,866 Come on! 374 00:22:50,954 --> 00:22:54,248 - So he is gone? The spy? - Yes, I said I would. 375 00:22:54,249 --> 00:22:58,460 Regardless, we must make some headway with the military. 376 00:22:58,461 --> 00:23:02,297 Not lay it out proper, but begin preparing the ground. 377 00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:04,174 Finally some action. 378 00:23:04,175 --> 00:23:06,052 Is this the best time? Uh... 379 00:23:07,011 --> 00:23:09,931 In vino veritas, orlo. Go forth. 380 00:23:25,321 --> 00:23:26,364 Fuckers. 381 00:23:26,990 --> 00:23:30,909 And who paints a river green? Hmm? Who does that? 382 00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:33,121 Blue, they are fucking blue, traditionally. 383 00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:36,164 Why don't we play some music? 384 00:23:36,165 --> 00:23:38,042 I need a name, too. 385 00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:40,545 Peter the... 386 00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,132 - What can I be? - Uh... 387 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:46,383 Peter the fun. 388 00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:47,552 Peter the masterful. 389 00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:51,221 Uh, Peter the terrible. 390 00:23:51,222 --> 00:23:53,307 I want something inspiring, arkady. 391 00:23:53,308 --> 00:23:56,059 It is inspiring. It inspires fear. 392 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,603 And has a rich history, 393 00:23:57,604 --> 00:23:59,813 everyone loves the terribles. 394 00:23:59,814 --> 00:24:03,401 Just fuck off, all of you. I have my speech tomorrow. 395 00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:29,927 Oh. Velementov? 396 00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:35,099 I thought this was the library. I'm completely lost in this palace. 397 00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:39,436 Empress, it is an honor. 398 00:24:39,437 --> 00:24:42,898 Perhaps it is fate. I have wanted to talk to you. 399 00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:44,317 And I, you. Good god. 400 00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:49,906 You're luminous, luminous, with luminosity. 401 00:24:50,615 --> 00:24:52,366 Why, thank you. 402 00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:55,952 - You remind me of my father. - I'm, uh... 403 00:24:55,953 --> 00:24:58,831 I'm younger, I'm sure, and, uh... 404 00:24:59,457 --> 00:25:01,542 And in the prime of manhood. 405 00:25:03,753 --> 00:25:06,005 Uh... drink? 406 00:25:09,759 --> 00:25:12,427 He was a serious military man. 407 00:25:12,428 --> 00:25:16,890 Uh... often frustrated by the leaders of the country. 408 00:25:16,891 --> 00:25:20,602 Indeed. Then we are alike. 409 00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:25,023 Exactly. A good military man is happy to spill men's blood, 410 00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,150 but not waste men's blood. 411 00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:28,569 Have I read you wrong? 412 00:25:29,112 --> 00:25:31,572 You are... vision. 413 00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:38,120 Your skin is... 414 00:25:41,624 --> 00:25:44,168 - Are you weeping? - A little, yes. 415 00:25:45,169 --> 00:25:47,130 Your beauty hurts. 416 00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:49,881 -Right. 417 00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:53,468 If we had a philosophy, a criteria for action, 418 00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:56,138 I just wonder what a difference that would make. 419 00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:59,266 - Mm. - I feel a kinship with you. 420 00:25:59,267 --> 00:26:01,476 - I do, too. - Ooh! 421 00:26:01,477 --> 00:26:04,438 Aah! Get off! 422 00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:07,650 Empress, I will unprise my member. 423 00:26:08,151 --> 00:26:11,278 Oh, god. You will get off me! 424 00:26:19,162 --> 00:26:22,497 What is that... wet? 425 00:26:22,498 --> 00:26:26,209 - I pissed myself. - Oh! Ugh! 426 00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:29,463 Let me lie here a little and gather my energies, 427 00:26:29,464 --> 00:26:34,384 before I unleash a storm of passion! 428 00:26:34,385 --> 00:26:36,387 Fuckerl -ooh! 429 00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:48,149 Get... them... down! 430 00:27:15,051 --> 00:27:17,969 Anton. How goes it? 431 00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:20,847 - Disastrously. - How was the briefing? 432 00:27:20,848 --> 00:27:22,516 Interesting, I heard. 433 00:27:22,517 --> 00:27:26,646 - The guy's a fucking idiot. - Shh. You are drunk. 434 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:31,066 Have you met the new empress? 435 00:27:31,067 --> 00:27:33,486 - I heard she's a bitch. - No, no, no. Not at all. 436 00:27:34,028 --> 00:27:36,363 She is one of a kind. 437 00:27:36,364 --> 00:27:38,282 I will make an introduction. 438 00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:07,103 Shall I dress you for bed or just oil you down? 439 00:28:09,021 --> 00:28:11,648 - How was your evening? - Avoided rape. 440 00:28:11,649 --> 00:28:14,068 - You? - Same. 441 00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:18,322 If anyone ever invents something easier than buttons, we are all in trouble. 442 00:28:23,286 --> 00:28:24,370 You may go. 443 00:28:44,348 --> 00:28:47,976 But if we put the pavilion near the river, 444 00:28:47,977 --> 00:28:51,229 we canjust laze and watch, 445 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:55,442 and thenjust fall off it, naked, into the cool water. 446 00:28:55,443 --> 00:28:57,111 Poetry. 447 00:28:57,904 --> 00:29:01,656 I was gonna ask him to let us go there next month for a few weeks. 448 00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,368 - He will not. - We can ask. 449 00:29:05,286 --> 00:29:06,829 Of course. 450 00:29:13,878 --> 00:29:17,214 Hey. You're up. Good. 451 00:29:18,132 --> 00:29:19,508 Uh... 452 00:29:28,225 --> 00:29:30,269 - Are you all right? - Of course. 453 00:29:30,770 --> 00:29:32,313 Do you need to talk? 454 00:29:33,689 --> 00:29:35,107 I'll just sleep. 455 00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:43,281 Fuckers. 456 00:30:04,553 --> 00:30:07,473 Ah, my dearest grigor, there you are. 457 00:30:08,641 --> 00:30:10,059 We did not wish to wake you. 458 00:30:11,268 --> 00:30:12,770 Kindness itself. 459 00:30:14,355 --> 00:30:15,635 You have a loose hair, actually. 460 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:23,572 - Apologies, but it is a big day. - Yes it is. I feel good. 461 00:30:24,281 --> 00:30:27,201 You're my dearest friends. Embrace me. 462 00:30:42,341 --> 00:30:46,011 Grigor and I thought we might go to the country, 463 00:30:46,012 --> 00:30:48,596 - to our estate for a month. - Right. 464 00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:50,432 We have some building to check on. 465 00:30:50,433 --> 00:30:53,436 And we'd love to bring you back the first quinces of the season. 466 00:30:54,103 --> 00:30:55,896 All right. Sure. 467 00:31:00,276 --> 00:31:02,153 What are you writing? 468 00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:06,032 Nothing. Just... a letter. 469 00:31:07,158 --> 00:31:08,409 You must miss home. 470 00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:13,246 Yes. I do. 471 00:31:13,247 --> 00:31:16,791 - Tea, sir. - Thank you, vlad. 472 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:19,044 Is vlad short for Vladimir or long for vla? 473 00:31:19,045 --> 00:31:21,254 - Oh! Aah! - Ah-ha. 474 00:31:23,007 --> 00:31:26,634 - I'm so sorry. - We cannot blame you for gravity, vlad. 475 00:31:26,635 --> 00:31:31,015 - For...? What is...? - This is gravity, vlad. 476 00:31:33,350 --> 00:31:36,853 Everything comes down, vlad. Unseen forces at work. 477 00:31:36,854 --> 00:31:38,606 What about a plate? 478 00:31:39,482 --> 00:31:41,191 Gravity. 479 00:31:41,192 --> 00:31:42,484 Or... a feather? 480 00:31:42,485 --> 00:31:45,153 Oh, well, they fight a good fight. 481 00:31:45,154 --> 00:31:48,782 But alas... 482 00:31:48,783 --> 00:31:50,200 - Vlad? - Gravity. 483 00:31:51,285 --> 00:31:53,537 Oh. 484 00:31:56,791 --> 00:31:59,794 I shall go to breakfast and speak to Peter, 485 00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:02,463 and then you may go. 486 00:32:03,464 --> 00:32:07,092 Might I suggest we perform a small playlet to aid your game? 487 00:32:07,093 --> 00:32:10,429 - A playlet? - To convince him it went well. 488 00:32:11,097 --> 00:32:14,432 - I hate all the pretend at court. - You must treat it as a foolish game. 489 00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:16,684 The viewer is your quarry and when they're convinced, 490 00:32:16,685 --> 00:32:18,365 you have won and have made a fool of them. 491 00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:20,147 That's a victory for you. 492 00:32:20,731 --> 00:32:23,651 It is... possibly helpful. 493 00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:25,861 Hmm. 494 00:32:37,581 --> 00:32:40,667 - A giggle is good. - A giggle? 495 00:32:40,668 --> 00:32:42,210 It is light and fun. 496 00:32:42,211 --> 00:32:44,254 I am not six. I do not giggle. 497 00:32:44,255 --> 00:32:46,632 I'll do it, then. 498 00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:51,052 That is a preposterous sound. 499 00:32:51,053 --> 00:32:53,055 Leo, sit in the hallway. I will see you shortly. 500 00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:04,942 So he has made you happy it seems? 501 00:33:05,609 --> 00:33:07,027 Indeed. 502 00:33:10,781 --> 00:33:11,949 Thank you. 503 00:33:13,075 --> 00:33:14,201 Leo? 504 00:33:16,704 --> 00:33:19,664 You have made the empress happy. Good job. 505 00:33:20,875 --> 00:33:24,043 That's for fucking my wife. But well done. Bravo. 506 00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:27,256 It is done, so he may go now. 507 00:33:28,215 --> 00:33:29,216 What? 508 00:33:30,134 --> 00:33:32,343 We spent a pleasant night, 509 00:33:32,344 --> 00:33:35,597 and I thank you profusely for the gift. 510 00:33:35,598 --> 00:33:37,223 So he may go. 511 00:33:37,224 --> 00:33:40,393 Oh, so he cannot have made you that happy if you want him to go. 512 00:33:40,394 --> 00:33:44,439 A pleasant night? What the fuck is a pleasant night? 513 00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:45,982 And now you wish him to go? 514 00:33:45,983 --> 00:33:48,235 That is a fucking failure! Leo! 515 00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:51,529 I am very disappointed in you, as would your father be. 516 00:33:51,530 --> 00:33:53,990 So sorry, sir. 517 00:33:57,161 --> 00:33:59,120 Stop! I did not know I could keep him. 518 00:33:59,121 --> 00:34:03,042 - What? - I thought it was a gift, for a night. 519 00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:07,378 I did not realize it could be ongoing. 520 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:11,549 Oh, it is marvelous to keep him. 521 00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:14,886 Huzzah. I thank you, husband. 522 00:34:14,887 --> 00:34:17,264 Right. Okay. 523 00:34:22,728 --> 00:34:25,271 Do it well or I will cut your perfect cock off, 524 00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:28,734 as it is a useless appendage if you cannot use it to bring joy. 525 00:34:30,778 --> 00:34:34,322 Zeus! Come on. 526 00:34:38,369 --> 00:34:43,373 - Are you all right? - Fine. 527 00:34:43,374 --> 00:34:46,710 Oh. Eggs. 528 00:34:57,137 --> 00:34:59,514 God, this is delicious. 529 00:34:59,515 --> 00:35:01,058 So what is the rest of your day? 530 00:35:02,393 --> 00:35:03,977 How can you be so sanguine? 531 00:35:03,978 --> 00:35:06,271 Do you not wish to break his head open? 532 00:35:06,272 --> 00:35:08,773 No, I wish to enjoy my breakfast, which is what I'm doing. 533 00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:10,316 May I have some coffee, please? 534 00:35:10,317 --> 00:35:12,319 He just beat you. 535 00:35:12,945 --> 00:35:14,363 It was minutes ago. 536 00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:18,533 - You are baffling. - Thank you for saving me, by the way. 537 00:35:18,534 --> 00:35:19,909 You don't need to do that. 538 00:35:19,910 --> 00:35:21,953 Truth is, he'll do as he wishes with me... 539 00:35:21,954 --> 00:35:25,540 Hang me, flay me, or take me hunting and for a nice lunch. 540 00:35:25,541 --> 00:35:27,333 One cannot let oneself live in fear of that. 541 00:35:27,334 --> 00:35:29,168 He can kick me, 542 00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:32,380 but I will not let him Rob me of my enjoyment of this egg, 543 00:35:32,381 --> 00:35:35,092 that coffee, or this day. 544 00:35:36,260 --> 00:35:38,846 I will not let fear take my life from me. 545 00:35:40,014 --> 00:35:41,389 I understand entirely. 546 00:35:41,390 --> 00:35:43,434 Ladies' tea is about to begin. 547 00:35:44,226 --> 00:35:46,269 You inexplicably wanted to go? 548 00:35:46,270 --> 00:35:49,314 Indeed, I do. And you shalljoin me. 549 00:35:49,315 --> 00:35:52,192 - Oh, I'd rather not. - And I'd rather so. 550 00:35:54,236 --> 00:35:55,987 Leo, you should probably come. 551 00:35:55,988 --> 00:35:58,991 Be near, in case he wonders why you're not with me. 552 00:36:27,936 --> 00:36:31,356 Lady svenska. 553 00:36:31,357 --> 00:36:34,860 - Uh... - How wonderful you look! 554 00:36:36,403 --> 00:36:38,989 I... 555 00:36:40,949 --> 00:36:46,454 You will see she has a love for Russia and a fresh mind that inspires. 556 00:36:46,455 --> 00:36:49,457 All right. Antonia! 557 00:36:49,458 --> 00:36:51,250 My darling, what has happened? 558 00:36:51,251 --> 00:36:53,504 That fucking bitch empress has happened. 559 00:36:54,713 --> 00:36:56,506 Rash, my dear. 560 00:36:56,507 --> 00:36:58,967 Exceptional, but rash. 561 00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:05,891 Well, I have never enjoyed a ladies' tea party more. 562 00:37:07,017 --> 00:37:08,268 Thank you. 563 00:37:20,072 --> 00:37:21,489 We can't talk. 564 00:37:21,490 --> 00:37:24,992 - We can. - Aah! 565 00:37:24,993 --> 00:37:27,036 - It is fine. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 566 00:37:27,037 --> 00:37:29,997 I thought you were getting rid of him! We cannot trust him. 567 00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:32,583 Itried. Peter will kill him. 568 00:37:32,584 --> 00:37:34,795 And if he is a spy, Peter will kill us. 569 00:37:35,379 --> 00:37:37,463 You would have me let him die? 570 00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:40,258 We are trying to end meaningless bloodshed in Russia. 571 00:37:40,259 --> 00:37:42,510 If it is him or us, yes. 572 00:37:42,511 --> 00:37:44,387 I mean, that is the sort of decision-making 573 00:37:44,388 --> 00:37:47,348 you are going to have to make if we are to do this. Machiavelli. 574 00:37:47,349 --> 00:37:49,642 I told you, I disagree with that translation. 575 00:37:49,643 --> 00:37:52,019 I don't think he's a spy. He's too good-looking. 576 00:37:52,020 --> 00:37:54,397 Well, you'll forgive me, you and your family's political instincts 577 00:37:54,398 --> 00:37:55,690 are not something I am in awe of. 578 00:37:55,691 --> 00:37:57,859 Fuck you, you virgin coward prick! 579 00:37:57,860 --> 00:38:01,112 Enough! Marial. 580 00:38:01,113 --> 00:38:04,866 I... colonel svenska could have been an ally, 581 00:38:04,867 --> 00:38:07,702 but now we have lost him and half the ladies. 582 00:38:07,703 --> 00:38:09,495 - It was worth it. - I agree. 583 00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:11,664 You know, some attention to thinking two steps ahead, 584 00:38:11,665 --> 00:38:13,833 rather than one, would be advantageous. 585 00:38:13,834 --> 00:38:16,169 I did. I ascertained a dress fabric for the event, 586 00:38:16,170 --> 00:38:20,381 and had the entire room redone in that, orlo. That is two steps. 587 00:38:20,382 --> 00:38:23,259 I do not understand this recklessness in you. 588 00:38:23,260 --> 00:38:27,222 It is called courage, orlo. You will gather it as we go. 589 00:38:30,100 --> 00:38:31,602 Orlo! 590 00:38:40,068 --> 00:38:41,153 How is it? 591 00:38:42,404 --> 00:38:43,822 Being empress? 592 00:38:45,782 --> 00:38:47,784 No one has ever asked me that. 593 00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:53,665 Complex. 594 00:38:56,710 --> 00:38:59,713 - May I speak freely? - I suppose. 595 00:39:01,548 --> 00:39:04,092 I shall entitle it, "my impressions of the empress." 596 00:39:06,178 --> 00:39:07,596 You do not like Peter. 597 00:39:08,639 --> 00:39:09,806 You do not like it here. 598 00:39:10,766 --> 00:39:13,268 You have a sadness in you, and worst of all, 599 00:39:14,228 --> 00:39:16,230 you do not seem to know how to have fun. 600 00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:19,358 Fun is not on the table. 601 00:39:20,943 --> 00:39:23,861 He mentioned the country again. 602 00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,531 Peter may come for some of it. 603 00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:27,950 Does that mean all of it? 604 00:39:29,409 --> 00:39:32,578 Did you see what the empress did to antonia? 605 00:39:32,579 --> 00:39:36,207 It is a level of bitch one seldom encounters, kind of brilliant. 606 00:39:36,208 --> 00:39:38,626 - I thought it was funny. - Well, I do not. 607 00:39:38,627 --> 00:39:41,796 And feel free to suck your own cock for the rest of the month, arkady. 608 00:39:41,797 --> 00:39:44,715 She needs to be taught a lesson. 609 00:39:44,716 --> 00:39:48,010 Perhaps antonia needs to learn a lesson. She is not empress. 610 00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:50,221 We had open hearts. 611 00:39:50,222 --> 00:39:53,641 They are shut tight. She will learn that. 612 00:39:58,313 --> 00:40:01,108 Pretend, pretend, pretend. 613 00:40:11,994 --> 00:40:14,161 You did not need to do that to Leo. 614 00:40:14,162 --> 00:40:17,165 I suppose not. Is he coughing up blood? 615 00:40:17,833 --> 00:40:19,375 - No. - Then he's fine. 616 00:40:19,376 --> 00:40:21,670 Coughing blood is generally the problem sign. 617 00:40:24,548 --> 00:40:27,009 - Are you all right? - Mm-hmm. 618 00:40:27,718 --> 00:40:29,719 Nervous about making the speech? 619 00:40:40,856 --> 00:40:42,898 Is he all these things? 620 00:40:42,899 --> 00:40:45,985 Or perhaps not, and that is why you are nervous. 621 00:40:45,986 --> 00:40:50,574 He was all these things. He was... extraordinary. 622 00:40:51,199 --> 00:40:52,575 What is the problem then? 623 00:40:52,576 --> 00:40:54,952 When I speak of him, which I do not, 624 00:40:54,953 --> 00:40:58,081 because when I do, tears. 625 00:40:58,874 --> 00:41:01,918 It is unmanly and fucked in front of these booyahs. 626 00:41:02,794 --> 00:41:03,879 You miss him. 627 00:41:08,050 --> 00:41:09,092 Emperor? 628 00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,226 There is no shame in that. 629 00:41:19,227 --> 00:41:21,812 - No, it will not look... - There is a saying. 630 00:41:21,813 --> 00:41:25,066 "What comes from the heart goes to the heart." 631 00:41:25,067 --> 00:41:29,071 He was loved, and you showing that is a fine thing. 632 00:41:30,405 --> 00:41:33,074 - I may not cry. - Indeed. 633 00:41:33,075 --> 00:41:36,203 For a I am chap with iron will and control. 634 00:41:42,292 --> 00:41:45,921 He was a man of action, a man of the people, 635 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,715 loved, revered, 636 00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:51,884 victorious in battle. 637 00:41:51,885 --> 00:41:55,889 He once sat and helped me make a lion from rubles. 638 00:41:56,973 --> 00:41:59,975 - But fierce, he... - Fucking baby. 639 00:41:59,976 --> 00:42:01,436 I heard that. 640 00:42:03,271 --> 00:42:04,690 Whoever it was, step forward. 641 00:42:06,274 --> 00:42:08,944 Man-to-man, let us fight. 642 00:42:09,945 --> 00:42:12,697 No recriminations, no reprisals. 643 00:42:12,698 --> 00:42:16,575 On my father's honor, two men and their fists, as he would have it. 644 00:42:16,576 --> 00:42:18,370 It would be an honor. 645 00:42:30,090 --> 00:42:33,592 Strategy. Strategy, you dumb fucks! 646 00:42:33,593 --> 00:42:37,221 Your mindless, booyah bravery will not win it for us. 647 00:42:40,267 --> 00:42:43,936 I am Peter the great's son. I know how to win. 648 00:42:43,937 --> 00:42:46,230 We will go with my military plan. Ford the river, 649 00:42:46,231 --> 00:42:48,400 cut their hearts out at breakfast. Yes? 650 00:42:49,693 --> 00:42:52,362 - Yes? - Huzzah. 651 00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:56,198 Now where was I? 652 00:42:56,199 --> 00:42:59,995 My father. I commemorate this statue in his honor. Huzzah. 653 00:43:00,871 --> 00:43:04,957 Let's make Russia great and victorious over those evil blond Swedish fucks. 654 00:43:04,958 --> 00:43:06,876 Huzzah! 655 00:43:06,877 --> 00:43:09,880 I believe there is a party. Let's enjoy. 656 00:43:23,977 --> 00:43:26,854 How marvelous it was when you stabbed holes in that man. 657 00:43:26,855 --> 00:43:28,898 You were right for me to be true to my heart. 658 00:43:28,899 --> 00:43:31,818 There is now love and fear for me from all. 659 00:43:33,236 --> 00:43:36,322 - I was perhaps rough on Leo today. - When you kicked him over and over? 660 00:43:36,323 --> 00:43:38,324 Yes. That is to what I refer. 661 00:43:38,325 --> 00:43:40,701 Well, it just shows how much you care about my happiness. 662 00:43:40,702 --> 00:43:44,205 Indeed. If you do not want him, you may choose your own lover. 663 00:43:44,206 --> 00:43:45,998 Velementov has offered his services. 664 00:43:45,999 --> 00:43:48,001 Very not funny. 665 00:43:51,087 --> 00:43:53,130 - Imagine it. - I'd rather not. 666 00:43:54,633 --> 00:43:56,217 Seriously, take a moment. 667 00:43:56,218 --> 00:43:59,261 I imagined him putting it in your ass as you ieant on a desk, 668 00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:02,139 then his weight collapsing the desk and crushing you under him. 669 00:44:02,140 --> 00:44:04,391 What was yours? 670 00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,228 Him pissing on me as he tried to mount me. 671 00:44:07,229 --> 00:44:10,272 Ha. Brilliantly imaginative, though mine was better. 672 00:44:10,273 --> 00:44:12,441 If you do not want Leo, choose someone else yourself, 673 00:44:12,442 --> 00:44:14,361 and I will approve or disapprove. 674 00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:17,989 - And Leo? - Oh. He may go back to his estate. 675 00:44:18,740 --> 00:44:20,032 Oh. So he is free to leave? 676 00:44:20,033 --> 00:44:21,951 - Yes, of course. - Right. 677 00:44:21,952 --> 00:44:23,953 He can fuck off or stay at court. 678 00:44:23,954 --> 00:44:27,498 I do not care, as long as you are happy and not a miserable, scowling cunt. 679 00:44:27,499 --> 00:44:30,751 Which you are not. That is just a colorful example of what I do not want. 680 00:44:30,752 --> 00:44:32,461 - Of course. - I shall tell him. 681 00:44:32,462 --> 00:44:34,588 - No. Let me. - Mm. 682 00:44:39,928 --> 00:44:42,648 And you are happy and grateful for my efforts towards your happiness? 683 00:44:43,098 --> 00:44:45,015 All is bliss in the court of Peter. 684 00:44:45,016 --> 00:44:47,726 - It is indeed. Huzzah! - Huzzah! 685 00:44:47,727 --> 00:44:50,396 I must play. I'm a brilliant violinist. 686 00:44:50,397 --> 00:44:52,065 Give me that. Fuck off. 687 00:45:09,583 --> 00:45:12,586 Bravo! 688 00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:24,096 Bravo! 689 00:45:36,318 --> 00:45:38,361 Peter has not released you. 690 00:45:40,030 --> 00:45:43,032 - I'm sure you tried. - I did. 691 00:45:43,033 --> 00:45:45,702 So we must continue the charade. 692 00:45:46,536 --> 00:45:49,414 I'm strangely not disappointed. 693 00:45:51,416 --> 00:45:55,295 Obviously, we are free to do as we wish with this arrangement. 694 00:45:57,672 --> 00:45:59,257 For example, 695 00:46:00,300 --> 00:46:02,344 you are free to kiss me back, 696 00:46:02,969 --> 00:46:05,221 but also free not to. 697 00:46:06,973 --> 00:46:08,493 To kiss you back, you would have to... 698 00:46:26,326 --> 00:46:28,369 Oh! 699 00:46:39,965 --> 00:46:41,716 Hmm, hmm. 700 00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:45,261 We need help. 701 00:46:51,351 --> 00:46:53,111 You can probably take it from here? 702 00:46:53,728 --> 00:46:55,438 Thank you, marial. 703 00:47:33,977 --> 00:47:35,770 What are... what are you... 704 00:47:45,405 --> 00:47:47,157 It's very good. 705 00:47:48,742 --> 00:47:52,202 Uh, the, the bit about being able to live without pretense 706 00:47:52,203 --> 00:47:53,329 will resonate deep. 707 00:47:54,122 --> 00:47:57,207 Leo stays. He is my lover. 708 00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:59,377 He will never know of our plans though. 709 00:48:00,170 --> 00:48:01,796 I promise you that. 710 00:48:04,758 --> 00:48:06,051 What... what are you doing? 711 00:48:07,052 --> 00:48:08,136 My blood oath. 712 00:48:14,225 --> 00:48:17,103 I mean, you... You like to live dangerously. 713 00:48:17,645 --> 00:48:19,772 I just like to live. 714 00:48:19,773 --> 00:48:23,317 And I would like everyone to have that opportunity. 715 00:48:23,318 --> 00:48:25,444 Danger is part of this. 716 00:48:25,445 --> 00:48:27,654 You will have to grasp that. 717 00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:30,492 I have avoided it assiduously my whole life. 718 00:48:31,242 --> 00:48:32,494 We cannot. 719 00:48:37,165 --> 00:48:39,541 Did your heart not beat like a drum 720 00:48:39,542 --> 00:48:42,087 when you thought you had landed colonel svenska? 721 00:48:44,255 --> 00:48:47,258 Now, you need to cut your hand. 722 00:48:49,052 --> 00:48:51,596 - I really don't want to do that. - I know. 723 00:48:54,015 --> 00:48:56,433 There will be no need for clothes this morning. 724 00:48:56,434 --> 00:48:57,977 - Marial? - Buttons? 725 00:48:59,979 --> 00:49:01,147 Buttons. 726 00:49:05,235 --> 00:49:06,361 J” free j” 727 00:49:08,404 --> 00:49:11,282 j” everybody j” 728 00:49:12,033 --> 00:49:14,035 j” come together j” 729 00:49:15,870 --> 00:49:17,330 j” free j” 730 00:49:19,207 --> 00:49:21,876 j” everybody j” 731 00:49:22,752 --> 00:49:24,963 j” get together j” 732 00:49:26,756 --> 00:49:27,882 j” free j” 733 00:49:30,802 --> 00:49:35,222 j” you can't feel it from the palm j” 734 00:49:35,223 --> 00:49:38,518 j” that you're holding on your arm j” 735 00:49:41,604 --> 00:49:45,190 j” cool hands from the get-go j” 736 00:49:45,191 --> 00:49:48,736 j” can you feast on the real one? J” 737 00:49:51,990 --> 00:49:55,450 j” don't be in love with the autograph j” 738 00:49:55,451 --> 00:49:58,872 j” just be in love when you love that song j” 739 00:50:02,625 --> 00:50:03,835 j” free j” 740 00:50:06,254 --> 00:50:10,842 j” it's okay if you can't stand to let him dance j” 741 00:50:13,428 --> 00:50:18,141 j” it's okay, it's your right come on and take a chance j” 742 00:50:19,684 --> 00:50:23,353 j” true romance j” 743 00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:25,565 j” when you dance j” 744 00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:28,943 j” free j” 745 00:50:30,945 --> 00:50:34,573 j” everybody j” 746 00:50:34,574 --> 00:50:36,826 j” come together j” 747 00:50:38,620 --> 00:50:39,746 j” free j” 748 00:50:42,207 --> 00:50:45,834 j” don't fall in love with the autograph j” 749 00:50:45,835 --> 00:50:48,796 j” just fall in love when you sing your song j” 750 00:50:51,799 --> 00:50:53,801 j” take a chance j” 751 00:50:55,803 --> 00:50:58,514 j” true romance j”