1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,314
♪ Why you tryin' to gangbang,
little boy? You playground age ♪
2
00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:05,690
♪ Instead of tryin'
to set claim ♪
3
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,734
♪ You need to get on the swang ♪
4
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:10,320
Yeah. Jake,
how you like that, man?
5
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:11,696
Tell me how dope that was.
6
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,531
Uh, incredibly dope?
7
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:14,991
Ooh, you heard him!
8
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,076
I carpool with Janine
occasionally
9
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,245
to reduce my carbon footprint,
10
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:22,957
and Tariq is there sometimes
when he needs to use the car,
11
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:26,044
which is... all the time.
12
00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,879
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm gonna
have to run it back for you.
13
00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,589
It takes a couple times
to get the word play.
14
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,007
Mm-hmm. Yo, you spit, too?
15
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,717
Rap with me, Jake. Oh, no,
16
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,512
that could potentially be
very undope.
17
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,722
Baby, his name is Jacob. Jacob.
18
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,516
Yeah, some people
forget the "ob."
19
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,643
[ Chuckles ] Is... Is that
20
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,811
what you're gonna be performing
later today?
21
00:00:43,835 --> 00:00:45,813
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
and I got way more, too.
22
00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,024
The show is about to be lit,
to be honest, man.
23
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,609
The after-party gonna be stupid.
24
00:00:49,633 --> 00:00:52,362
Oh, no, it is an anti-drug
25
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,697
and gang violence presentation
for children.
26
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,658
So no after-party.
27
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:59,285
Tariq's gonna be performing
some of his songs later today
28
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,997
at Abbott for F. A. D. E.,
Friends Against Drug Exposure.
29
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:06,000
Yeah, he got the gig
totally on his own.
30
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,586
I mean, I reached out
to the organization,
31
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,297
and Tariq said, "Sure."
32
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,507
Oh, baby, I was thinking.
33
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,092
You've been working
way too much lately.
34
00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:15,552
We need to go travel somewhere.
35
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,178
We got that F.A.D.E. money now,
girl.
36
00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:19,931
[ Laughs ] Oh, well, I've always
wanted to go to Paris.
37
00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,432
Ooh, ooh, Paris!
38
00:01:21,456 --> 00:01:23,226
Or, uh, uh, Coney Island.
39
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,227
Oh. We could go out there.
40
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:25,687
I could get my Joe Chestnut on,
41
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,230
you know, chow down
on some Nathan's.
42
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,315
You know, om nom nom nom nom.
43
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,402
Yes, yes, yes, but also maybe
44
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,904
focus on the performance today.
45
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,531
You right. You right. Yeah.
46
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:38,575
We could do that, too.
GPS voice: Turn left.
47
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,035
Ooh. ♪ She gonna
make a left turn ♪
48
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,496
♪ I be preachin'
from the lectern ♪
49
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,456
♪ Lyrics so hot,
it'll give you heartburn ♪
50
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,876
Oh, my God! My lyrics don't
stop, Jake. Pay attention.
51
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,920
You're on the ground floor
of something incredible.
52
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:54,299
Yeah, it definitely feels
like... the ground floor.
53
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:57,302
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
54
00:01:57,326 --> 00:02:05,326
♪♪
55
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,272
You know, a lot of people
are slow to warm to Tariq,
56
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,774
but you guys get along so well.
57
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,943
Maybe you should come out and
get pizza with us this weekend.
58
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,071
Oh, I can't.
I'm busy on Saturday.
59
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,115
I didn't even say a date yet.
60
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,867
W... Oh, I see what's happening.
61
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,285
You don't want to be
the third wheel.
62
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,953
No. No, don't worry.
63
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,872
I actually know a great guy
I want to set you up with.
64
00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,665
Uh, thanks, but I don't know
how my boyfriend
65
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,399
would feel about that.
66
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,754
Your what?
67
00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,505
My boyfriend.
68
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,841
You have a boyfriend?
69
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,177
What's his name? Uh, Zach.
70
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,928
Zach?
71
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,097
And how long have you two
been dating?
72
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:46,517
Like a year, plus another year.
73
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:49,062
Jacob, how did I not
know any of this?
74
00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,813
You've never mentioned him.
75
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:53,024
Well, actually, I guess I just
answered my own question.
76
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:55,735
I thought you knew. I mean,
I could've swore I told you.
77
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,987
My friends say I won't
shut up about him.
78
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,906
Your friends?
79
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:02,116
I thought we were friends.
80
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,411
We are. Yeah, we're friends.
We're just, you know...
81
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,372
"You know" what?
82
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,624
W-Work friends.
83
00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:11,709
We don't talk about
real deep stuff.
84
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:14,253
You told me when you got
a tapeworm in Zimbabwe.
85
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,381
Um, um, yeah, I was...
I was trying to be helpful,
86
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,800
in case you ever go to Africa.
87
00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:21,052
Look, work friends
are still friends.
88
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:24,347
They're just, like,
friends in one place.
89
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,641
Well, I thought we were friends
in all places.
90
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,893
We are... We are friends
in other places, actually.
91
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,521
You know, we... just today we
were... we were friends together,
92
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,773
you know, from my apartment
to the school...
93
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,608
[ School bell rings ]
...where... where we work,
94
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,175
as friends.
95
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,534
I can't believe Jacob
didn't tell me about Zach.
96
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,452
I mean, I have
so many questions, okay?
97
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,871
Is he tall? Is he a cat person
or a dog person?
98
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,249
Is Zach spelled with a "ck"
or a "ch"
99
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:54,335
or, what I find to be the most
exotic spelling, just a "c"?
100
00:03:54,359 --> 00:03:56,587
And... I don't know.
Maybe he's right.
101
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,756
Maybe we are just work friends,
102
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,926
because a "friend" friend
would know.
103
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:05,179
Okay, eyes up here.
Farmer Hank has five turkeys.
104
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,722
Then he buys four more.
105
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:09,600
How many turkeys
does Farmer Hank have?
106
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,477
Are any turkeys pregnant?
107
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,230
Guys, let's focus, okay?
Uh, you know what?
108
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,731
We're gonna do more math drills.
109
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,900
[ Students groan ]
110
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:19,527
Statewide assessments
are coming up.
111
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,070
It's a necessary evil.
112
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,572
They say not to teach
to the test,
113
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,532
but if that were the case,
114
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:26,492
they wouldn't give tests,
would they?
115
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:27,744
Six plus seven?
116
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,662
All: 13!
117
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,355
13 minus 6? Can we
please take a break?
118
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,794
Is everything okay?
119
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,630
I-I didn't see your class
at morning recess.
120
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,406
Yeah, yeah, no,
everything's fine.
121
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:46,203
Kids, turn to page 13 minus 6.
122
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,640
Seven.
123
00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,517
So, the whole class
is underperforming,
124
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,728
specifically in math,
so we're taking time in recess
125
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,545
to practice
to get those scores up.
126
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,566
Well, you know it's always
been my thought
127
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,860
that if one child fails...
128
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,361
Mm-hmm. ...It's on the child.
129
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:05,698
Right. But... But if
all of the children fail,
130
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,474
it's on their teacher.
131
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,580
If there's something
I'm doing wrong
132
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,624
or if it can be improved upon,
133
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:18,252
I am more than happy, uh,
to take some pointers.
134
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,838
Wonderful. Lunchtime.
135
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,507
You and me.
136
00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,842
Yes. Sure.
137
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,845
I am more than happy
to give up some of my free time
138
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:31,015
to gain knowledge
and better myself.
139
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,100
[ Chuckles ]
140
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:35,228
I still didn't get my answer.
13 minus 6?
141
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:36,479
[ Students groan ]
142
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,231
That "uh" better
be you thinking.
143
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,006
[ Thunder rumbles ]
144
00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,112
Well, looks like
I'm not eating today,
145
00:05:45,136 --> 00:05:47,240
'cause if you think I'm getting
this hair wet, mnh-mnh.
146
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:50,159
Yep, it's gonna be
vending-machine lunch. Oh.
147
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,786
Well, look on the bright side.
148
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:54,789
Now we get to all stay inside
and have lunch together,
149
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:58,209
which will be nice because,
despite what some people say,
150
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:00,545
we all love each other,
like one big, happy family.
151
00:06:00,569 --> 00:06:02,380
Ugh, what are you talking about?
152
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,007
I told her we're work friends,
and now she's doing this.
153
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,552
Well, we are work friends.
What's the problem?
154
00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,054
Uh, no. No, no, no,
we are a family.
155
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,556
[ Mockingly ] "We're family."
156
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:13,641
Enough with that
Dominic Toretto rhetoric.
157
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:16,352
Th-There's a reason that there
are nine of those movies.
158
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,354
Honey, family you kill for.
159
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:21,107
I ain't killing for any of ya.
Except Barbara.
160
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:24,193
Look, we come here,
we love our kids,
161
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,154
we exchange
some delightful repartee.
162
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,282
We are good colleagues.
163
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,742
And then we leave.
There's nothing wrong with that.
164
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:34,495
But I just feel like
it doesn't have to be that way.
165
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,205
Girl, this ain't a sorority.
166
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,165
I'm not shoplifting Plan B
for you.
167
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:40,710
See, this is what people
are trying to avoid.
168
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,879
I know. I just think
we should spend the time
169
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,839
to get to know each other
better.
170
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,948
[ Thunder rumbles ]
171
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,887
Oh, they may not want to share,
172
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,432
but I have ways
of making people talk.
173
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,458
[ Thunder crashes ] Mm.
174
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:02,064
I have enlisted the help of one
of Abbott Elementary's finest.
175
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,735
Now, come on, come on.
Show us what you got.
176
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,404
[ Clears throat ] What, here?
177
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,197
Yeah! Yeah, here. Get this kid.
178
00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,074
Of course here. Come on.
Teach us something.
179
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,909
Uh, alright.
180
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:18,748
Um, Farmer Hank has seven
turkeys, then he buys six more.
181
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,625
How many turkeys does
Farmer Hank now have?
182
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,002
Hmm. Is one of the
turkeys pregnant?
183
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,462
One of my kids
asked the same thing.
184
00:07:24,486 --> 00:07:26,297
Because it's a good question,
185
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:28,966
and it shows that they're
using critical thinking.
186
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,301
It's irrelevant.
187
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:32,136
No, it might be silly to you,
188
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,929
but to them, it might be
an important question
189
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,641
that, if they don't get it
answered, they can't focus.
190
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:39,477
And diversions are
an important part of learning.
191
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,604
Otherwise, they're
just memorizing.
192
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,773
Memorization is how I learned
all the states' capitals.
193
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,442
Juneau, Salem, Madison.
I can keep going.
194
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,611
In my class,
we do silly voice time
195
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,488
to, you know, break up the day.
196
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,115
[ High-pitched voice ] And it
makes learning more fun, too.
197
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,284
Okay. [ Laughs ]
198
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,078
Follow my lead. Here we go.
199
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,454
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
200
00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,747
What's happening?
201
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,666
Oh, come on, now, son.
202
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:04,377
Moving those hips a little,
it is not going to kill you.
203
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,796
Now, let's do this
math problem again.
204
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,673
Oh, what's
the turkey farmer's name?
205
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,716
Hank? Yes!
206
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,009
Alright.
207
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,011
♪ Hank has two turkeys ♪
208
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,180
♪ He gets two more ♪
209
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,207
♪ How many turkeys? ♪
210
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:23,771
♪ Hank has two turkeys ♪
211
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:25,856
♪ He gets two more ♪
212
00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,983
♪ How many turkeys? ♪
213
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,985
[ Off-key ] ♪ He has four ♪
214
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,655
[ Laughing ] Ah! Yes! [ Silly
voice ] Or six if one of the turkeys
215
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,324
is pregnant with twins.
[ Silly laugh ]
216
00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:38,160
[ Normal voice ] See? Who told
you learning can't be fun?
217
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,829
Mm. Mm-hmm.
218
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,122
Hey, guys.
219
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,040
Oh, you look a m...
220
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,583
Wait a minute. [ Sniffs ]
221
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:47,044
What is that smell?
222
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,587
Is that...
223
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,590
Danny Wok's makes the best
chicken in all of Philly.
224
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:55,511
I don't know what Danny puts
in that chicken, but it woks.
225
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,555
Mmm, that was very thoughtful
of you.
226
00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:59,223
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
227
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,350
If you want the "Wok"...
[ Thunder crashes ]
228
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,543
...you gotta talk.
229
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,148
Okay, so, I thought we all
could play a little game
230
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,483
to get to know each
other better. [ All sigh ]
231
00:09:09,507 --> 00:09:11,402
This text said
that you had Danny Wok.
232
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,362
That's the only reason
I'm here, Dork Dash.
233
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:16,866
It's a simple, fun game where
we write down a little fact
234
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,576
about ourselves on these cards,
235
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,327
something you think
no one else knows.
236
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,912
Then the cards are shuffled,
237
00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,414
and we try to figure out
who each secret belongs to.
238
00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:24,832
It's so fun.
239
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:26,667
When do we get the chicken?
When you tell a secret.
240
00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,419
My cousin turned down the hit
on Bobby Kennedy.
241
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,588
Not that kind of secret,
and we write it down.
242
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,923
Janine, please,
just give me the food.
243
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:36,761
Guys, you get the wings
when you say the things.
244
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,095
Okay.
245
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,139
[ Indistinct whispering ]
246
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,600
Don't love being left out
of huddles.
247
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:45,019
Okay.
248
00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:48,272
Oh, I can feel us
getting closer already.
249
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,233
Okay, Sister Sledge,
let's get this over with.
250
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,445
Alright, so, "I once drank
three cups of coffee,
251
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,072
thinking it was decaf,
252
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,407
and started tap-dancing
in front of my students"?
253
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,284
Melissa: Wasn't me.
Okay, I no longer
254
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,536
keep tap shoes in my
classroom. Janine: Okay.
255
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:07,833
"I won a bronze medal for hammer
throw in the 1976 Olympics."
256
00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,252
What can I say?
257
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,254
The rumors about
the Olympic Village are true.
258
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:14,173
Let's move on.
259
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,300
"I once impersonated Jill Scott
260
00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,845
to get free bottle service
at Xfinity Live!"
261
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,306
You don't even
look like Jill Scott.
262
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,266
To white people
in South Philly I do.
263
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,227
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
Sorry, I got to take this.
264
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,562
Okay, hurry back.
265
00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:30,439
Hey, Pop.
266
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:33,067
Gregory... you get a chance
267
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,486
to look at those job listings
I e-mailed you?
268
00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:37,488
You know, I-I haven't... I
haven't gotten around to it yet.
269
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,240
Get around to it.
270
00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,117
When you gonna quit
your babysitting gig,
271
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,244
get yourself a real job?
272
00:10:43,268 --> 00:10:45,621
You know who else could
teach a first grader?
273
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,498
A second grader.
274
00:10:47,522 --> 00:10:49,166
[ Chuckles ] That's funny, sir.
275
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,086
I actually, um, applied to a few
other principal jobs at other schools.
276
00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:53,671
I'm just waiting to hear back.
277
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,340
Why don't you come work at the
landscaping company with me?
278
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,843
This school idea,
I don't get it.
279
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,386
You've been trying
to become a principal
280
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,012
since you left college.
281
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:05,516
Come do a real man's job.
Time to grow up, Gregory.
282
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:09,854
[ Clicks tongue ]
I will consider that, sir.
283
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:11,647
I'll take it. [ Chuckles ]
284
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,940
Alright.
285
00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:14,507
[ Cellphone chimes ]
286
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,322
[ Sighs ]
287
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,324
You loved "Green Book"?
288
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,660
It is a well-made film, okay?
289
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,454
Do I think it's the most astute
observation on race relations?
290
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:30,875
No. But did I cry at the end?
Almost.
291
00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,502
Okay, um, Gregory,
why don't you pull a card?
292
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,921
Uh, I think I'll pass
on this one, thanks.
293
00:11:35,945 --> 00:11:37,756
Okay, no chicken for you.
294
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,175
Alright, so I'll go.
295
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,343
This mystery person says,
296
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:44,221
"I've been dating my boyfriend
since eighth grade."
297
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:46,765
[ Chuckles ] Ooh,
I wonder who this could be.
298
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,185
Wait, like, off and on?
299
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,645
Well, who says it's me?
But, no, just on.
300
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,856
The whole time? Yeah.
301
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,216
But you've dated lots
of other people? Nope.
302
00:11:58,009 --> 00:11:59,862
Why are you all
looking at me like that?
303
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,405
Janine, sweetheart,
304
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,366
you have only dated one man
your entire life?
305
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,659
Yeah.
306
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:08,204
No women? Nobody else, ever?
307
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,080
That just answers
so many things. I mean...
308
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,291
[ Laughs ]
Somebody get me a chair.
309
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,752
[ Laughs ]
310
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,754
[ Thud ]
311
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:19,089
Is... Is the guy rich?
312
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:22,885
No, not monetarily.
He's an aspiring musician.
313
00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:25,137
So he broke?
Somebody get me a fresh chair.
314
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,764
Look, you don't know Tariq.
315
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:29,767
He's sweet. He's caring.
He's ambitious.
316
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:31,101
Jacob knows.
317
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,853
Oh, I've...
318
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,188
He's very spirited.
319
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,689
Spirited?
320
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,733
I could use a little bit
more help than that, Jacob.
321
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,760
You know, he's... confident.
322
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:45,241
And, um, he's a real
extemporaneous thinker.
323
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,700
Barbara: Hmm!
324
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,244
I-I'm still getting to
know him, I guess.
325
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,745
Et tu, work friend?
326
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,247
You were beatboxing with him
this morning.
327
00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:52,581
Did that mean nothing?
328
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,083
[ Beatboxing ]
329
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,751
One joystick.
[ Imitates record scratching ]
330
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,795
Wait, does that mean that
you're, like, secretly Mormon?
331
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,129
No. Oh.
332
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,798
You should be
'cause you need more men.
333
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,800
Can I get it? [
Laughs ] Barbara!
334
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,344
I'm sorry, Janine, but that
was actually very clever.
335
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,638
Look, this is the man
I'm going to marry.
336
00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:10,975
Janine, when people get married,
they try a lot of cakes.
337
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:13,811
Have you had two slices of cake
at one time?
338
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:16,313
I can tell you, when I was
at the Olympic Village...
339
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,965
You know what? He is a good guy,
and I love him.
340
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,445
But how do you know if this has only been the
one guy? But haven't you ever worri... wondered,
341
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:24,780
like, what... who else is out
there? I mean, you've only...
342
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,407
Janine, you need to grow up.
343
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:29,976
The whole time, one guy? Ohh!
344
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,022
Oh.
345
00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:43,173
Oh. Hold on.
You're gonna get drenched.
346
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,009
Thanks.
347
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,510
You okay?
348
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,846
Yeah, are they still in there
making fun of me?
349
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,807
It's only been a few seconds,
so, yeah, probably.
350
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,475
Look, you can't care about
351
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,185
what other people think
about your choices
352
00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:56,603
'cause, at the end of the day,
you're the one
353
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,880
who got to live with them.
354
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,486
My dad doesn't want me
to be a teacher.
355
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,321
What?
356
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:08,365
But teaching's the best job
in the world.
357
00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:10,325
Well, Lieutenant Colonel
Martin Eddie
358
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,535
doesn't see it that way.
359
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,662
But it shouldn't matter
what he thinks, right?
360
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,831
It should be about
what makes me happy?
361
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,982
Does teaching make you happy?
362
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,903
It could.
363
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,951
Does Tariq make you happy?
364
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,894
Hey! What y'all doing out here?
365
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:39,021
It's raining harder
than an Usher video!
366
00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,523
Um... We're just
here to greet you.
367
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:43,484
I'm Gregory.
Oh, what's up, Gregory?
368
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,486
Are you the talent handler?
369
00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,321
Sure.
370
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:49,097
I need some bananas
in the green room.
371
00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:55,537
[ Vocalizing ]
372
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,414
Hey, baby.
Hey. [ Clears throat ]
373
00:14:57,438 --> 00:14:58,791
Everything okay? You seem off.
374
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:01,627
Uh, yeah. No,
I'm just nervous for you.
375
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,087
Don't be nervous.
This is gonna be like
376
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,922
when Lil Nas X performed
at that school.
377
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:06,757
Mm. Except it's not a surprise,
378
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:10,094
and they don't know the words,
and I'm very straight.
379
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:11,804
But come on, come
on. Bring it in. Yeah.
380
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,472
Yeah. Okay.
381
00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:15,808
Lord, thank you for giving me
this opportunity
382
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:18,435
to blow the impressionable minds
of these young children.
383
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,728
Amen. Amen.
384
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:20,920
Okay. Alright, come on.
385
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:27,945
Oh, yeah, get it, get it,
get it, hey, let's go, go!
386
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:29,947
Okay, I love you, baby.
I love you, baby.
387
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,907
Let's get it! Yeah!
388
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:34,576
Yeah, it's really hard breaking
into the industry right now.
389
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,579
Nobody's in that anti-drug,
anti-alcohol lane, you know?
390
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,332
Don't nobody rap about stuff
that's good for you.
391
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,585
You never heard a song
called, like..."Broccoli."
392
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,254
Except that one song
called "Broccoli,"
393
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,422
but that's still about drugs,
so... Uh-oh.
394
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,466
Stage manager pulling me away,
y'all.
395
00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,968
Tour life. You feel me?
396
00:15:50,992 --> 00:15:53,011
Hey, you got them Tastykakes,
my man?
397
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,430
I'm a girl!
398
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:57,474
Uh, okay, shawty,
where is my dessert?
399
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,333
[ Chuckles ]
400
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:04,565
Make some noise,
Abbott Elementary!
401
00:16:04,589 --> 00:16:06,733
[ Cheers and applause ] Yeah!
402
00:16:06,757 --> 00:16:08,110
Let's get it going!
403
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:10,612
Yo, yo, yo, drop that beat.
404
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,782
♪ Crack, weed, dope, meth,
y'all don't want no smoke ♪
405
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,077
♪ Oxy, Percs, Vic, bleep them
pills, you don't wanna choke ♪
406
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:20,289
♪ Stay in school and stack them
M's, bleep you can get a boat ♪
407
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,666
♪ I'm bleeping your girl on
a Jet Ski, bleep, bleep, bleep ♪
408
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,668
♪ She tryna float ♪
This is the one?
409
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,503
♪ Let's go, okay ♪
You know what?
410
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,046
♪ Yeah ♪
I kinda get it.
411
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,840
♪ Ugh ♪
He got bars.
412
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:32,050
♪ Hey, kids, don't be hypnotic,
the flow is iconic ♪
413
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:33,844
♪ I touched that girl once,
now she feeling aquatic ♪
414
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,512
♪ Drugs are a no-no,
we ready to go-go ♪
415
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,014
♪ Don't sling weed,
it'll make you a slow-poke ♪
416
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:38,473
♪ Oh, my God,
I'm feeling lucky ♪
417
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:40,017
♪ Spending that bleep
like it's funny ♪
418
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,518
♪ Did you know shrooms
hurt your tummy? ♪
419
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:42,978
♪ Bleep that bleep,
we getting money ♪
420
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,188
♪ Like fifties and hundreds ♪
Yeah!
421
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:46,648
Come on!
Get your little hands up!
422
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:50,110
Yeah! Yeah,
get your tiny hands up!
423
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:51,945
Okay! Alright, okay.
424
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,363
Hey, Janine.
425
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,324
Bounce, bounce, yeah.
426
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,117
Hey, I-I would like to apologize
427
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,994
for saying that we're
just work friends.
428
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,788
We are totally friends.
You know that, right?
429
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:04,166
I know. If I were
just your coworker,
430
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,542
would I know
you like to fall asleep
431
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,919
to "Last Man Standing"
every night?
432
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,879
Hey, Tim Allen and that family
433
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,547
have gotten me
through some dark times.
434
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,491
Yeah, "Last Man Standing" is
basically your "Green Book."
435
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:18,412
But why didn't you tell me you
had a boyfriend this whole time?
436
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,767
I don't know. I...
437
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:23,769
I think I thought
438
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,854
if I kept you out of
my relationship business,
439
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:29,691
I wouldn't have to
weigh in on yours.
440
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,653
Yeah, Abbott Elementary,
y'all don't hear me, man!
441
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,364
Y'all don't hear me,
Abbott Elementary! Hold on!
442
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,533
I need y'all to pay close
attention, Abbott Elementary.
443
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,661
What if this little stage manager
shawty died from drugs right now?
444
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,704
That'd be pretty messed up,
wouldn't it?
445
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,248
That was like
an artistic interlude.
446
00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:45,874
Alright, let's get back
to the music, yeah!
447
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,710
♪ I'm a sober guy,
I don't get high ♪
448
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:52,256
♪ If you take drugs,
then you might die ♪
449
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,258
Let's go!
450
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:57,594
Come on! Bounce, bounce, yeah!
451
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,931
♪ If you smoke and drink,
don't come next to me ♪
452
00:18:00,955 --> 00:18:02,683
♪ 'Cause I'm high off life ♪
453
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:04,434
♪ Don't take no LSD ♪
454
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,728
Yeah! Bounce, bounce!
455
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:09,064
Yeah! Bounce, bounce.
456
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,358
Come on! Yeah!
457
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,986
Open up that mosh pit!
Let me see you!
458
00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,988
Bounce, bounce!
459
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,907
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
460
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,242
Let's go.
461
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,827
Oh, let's go.
462
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,579
Oh, okay, I see you,
talent handler!
463
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,747
Oh, he going crazy! Yeah!
464
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,624
He going crazy! Oh!
465
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:30,961
Okay, wow. Gregory dances.
466
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:34,464
I don't think I've ever seen him
experience... joy before.
467
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:37,884
It's weird.
468
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,553
♪ At the party,
I'm taking pics ♪
469
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,138
♪ Do my dance
and eat some chips ♪
470
00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:42,889
♪ Drinkin' water,
not taking hits ♪
471
00:18:42,913 --> 00:18:44,391
♪ Ecstasy gives you
swollen lips ♪
472
00:18:44,415 --> 00:18:45,642
Yeah!
473
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,561
Hey, uh, hold on,
hold on, hold on.
474
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,438
I-I want to do
a quick shout-out.
475
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,273
Shout-out
to a very special person
476
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,358
and the... and the whole reason
that I'm here.
477
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,903
This woman is my everything,
my ride or die since day one.
478
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:59,114
He means that literally,
like out the womb.
479
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,949
To the most amazing
second grade teacher
480
00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,951
and the most amazing teacher
in this whole place
481
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,037
and the only woman
I ever been with. Oh.
482
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:07,164
Janine Teagues,
I love you, baby.
483
00:19:07,188 --> 00:19:08,832
Love you, too.
484
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,251
[ Applause ] Yeah!
485
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:14,671
♪ If somebody try to give you
drugs, punch 'em in the face ♪
486
00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,798
♪ If somebody try
to give you drugs ♪
487
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:18,866
♪ Punch 'em in the face like ♪
488
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:25,682
So, um, tell me, as a friend,
489
00:19:25,706 --> 00:19:29,043
what do you really think
of Tariq?
490
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:34,983
I had an ex back home that I was
certain I would be with forever.
491
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,777
What happened?
492
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:38,612
I realized I outgrew him.
493
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,656
You know, it was no one's fault.
494
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,909
But I realized I couldn't be
the best Jacob I could be.
495
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,786
Was it hard to let go?
496
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:47,996
Extremely.
497
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,956
But if I hadn't,
I wouldn't have met Zach.
498
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,126
Ah, yes, Zach, boyfriend of two
years that I knew nothing about.
499
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:55,545
[ Chuckles ] He's 5'9".
500
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:58,840
He loves dogs. He spells
his name with a "ch."
501
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:00,884
Alright, well, that's a start.
502
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:02,678
I'd love to meet him one day.
503
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,222
Unless, you know,
we're not there yet.
504
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,558
I'll bring him around.
505
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,686
Hey, whatever you do,
you should know
506
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,605
that I love and support you
as a friend.
507
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:16,358
And, most importantly,
508
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:20,696
maybe give yourself a chance to
be the best Janine you can be.
509
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,364
Let's go, let's go.
510
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,199
Yeah, let's go.
511
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,367
Whoo!
512
00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:31,147
♪♪
513
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:35,669
Okay, this is gonna be on
your assessment, so let's focus.
514
00:20:35,693 --> 00:20:38,255
If there are 12 bikes
and Riley buys 4,
515
00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:41,842
how many bikes
are left in the store?
516
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,160
Why does Riley
need so many bikes?
517
00:20:45,828 --> 00:20:48,515
That is a good question.
For his friends.
518
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,142
Is he in a bicycle gang?
519
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:51,810
Yes.
520
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:54,563
Then there's 8 bikes left.
521
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,106
That's correct.
522
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,858
Can you do the dance?
523
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,651
What did I say?
524
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:02,320
You get this right,
then we dancin'.
525
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,239
Come on, y'all. Get up with it.
526
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,324
Hey, okay.
527
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,493
Okay. Alright.
528
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,037
Let's go, hey, oh, oh.
529
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:13,290
[ Children laughing ] Oh!
530
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,208
Hey, oh!
531
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,210
Hey!
532
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:18,486
[ Laughs ]