1 00:00:00,959 --> 00:00:02,687 And it's been almost a year, okay? 2 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:03,938 It is beyond time that they reboot "Spider-Man" again. 3 00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:05,440 Yeah, you're right. I love it. 4 00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:06,691 But who can replace Tom Holland? 5 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,610 I'll tell you who... That little magical cutie, 6 00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,195 that Harry Potter. 7 00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:11,279 Daniel Radcliffe? Yeah. 8 00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,405 He's already in a franchise. 9 00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:14,324 You can't just swing from franchise to franchise. 10 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,701 Then why do I have to see Chris Pratt everywhere? It's okay. 11 00:00:16,725 --> 00:00:19,412 No, I want a thicc Spider-Man, like 50 Cent. 12 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,789 Should be Black anyways. Costume got a built-in durag. 13 00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,000 Well, if they do go with a Black actor, 14 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:28,087 I hope they go with that Mr. Brian Austin Green. 15 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:31,633 I'm so proud of that young man and all of his success. 16 00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:33,343 Uh... Tuh-tuh-tuh! 17 00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,345 So, there are a bunch of white celebrities 18 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,597 who Barbara thinks are Black. 19 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:40,767 Like, Brian Austin Green would be Brian Tyree Henry. 20 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:43,436 Ooh, I see you, little Carrie Underwood. 21 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,521 Good morning. 22 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,605 Kerry Washington. 23 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,232 I'm going straight home, 24 00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:50,235 put on a little Millie Bobby Brown. 25 00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:51,277 Bobby Brown. 26 00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,737 No one's done more for Black actors 27 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,406 than Tommy Lee Jones. 28 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:56,449 James Earl Jones. 29 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,743 And we just let her keep thinking that. 30 00:00:58,767 --> 00:00:59,744 It's easier. 31 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,246 And if they go with a woman, 32 00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:04,540 you cannot go wrong with the splendid, 33 00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:07,460 the wonderful Michelle Williams. 34 00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,586 Mm-mm-mm! 35 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:11,714 Now, that is one talented diva. 36 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,425 Mm, yes. Mm-hmm. 37 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:16,719 She is arguably the third best child of Destiny. 38 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,514 And all the way to the Academy Awards 39 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:21,599 from "Dawson's Creek." 40 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,977 Oh, yes, Michelle. Mm. 41 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,311 So close. 42 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:28,314 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 43 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:37,490 ♪♪ 44 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,284 Summer's supposed to be over. 45 00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,660 Are we sure this AC is on? 46 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:43,329 Oh, it is on, but that thing is older than Mr. Johnson. 47 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,373 Yeah, and they both have emphysema. 48 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,041 This is last year's calendar. 49 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,167 No! [ Coughs ] 50 00:01:48,191 --> 00:01:49,210 [ Coughs ] 51 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:51,045 And that is why we had that up there. 52 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:53,548 Yeah, now put it back. It's a load-bearing calendar. 53 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,717 Maybe we can use some of the grant money to fix that. 54 00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,927 We already decided that we were gonna use that money 55 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,304 for cleaning supplies. 56 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,306 This school is just filthy. 57 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,099 Are my ears burning? Huh? 58 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,435 Mm. 59 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,811 You know what? 60 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:08,813 I respect Barbara and her lil' daughter Taylor too much 61 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,189 to hit on you publicly. 62 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,882 Nice arms, though. 63 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,280 Me and Taylor? 64 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:19,407 Oh, um, it's... it's fine. 65 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:21,075 It's okay. 66 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,036 It's a bit of an awkward situation. 67 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:26,623 You know that saying, don't, you know, where you eat? 68 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,459 They should also say, don't do that where her mother eats. 69 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:31,461 Okay, which one of y'all ordered this big stack 70 00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,629 of social studies books? 71 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,923 Ooh! Oh, my goodness, they're only a few years old. 72 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,634 Oh, my God, they have Brexit! 73 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,969 And the Flint water crisis. And "Hamilton." 74 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,554 These aren't for Abbott Elementary. 75 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,057 They're for Addington Elementary. 76 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,100 Oh, the school down the street? 77 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:47,602 New books... one of the perks 78 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,437 of turning into a charter school. 79 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:50,605 They went charter and went up. 80 00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:53,858 From 2012 Khloé K to 2022 Khloé K like that. 81 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,234 Unrecognizable. 82 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,570 I heard they got a lot of good stuff over there. 83 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,906 Well, that building was made by the same World War II architect 84 00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,991 as this one, so can't be that great. 85 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,451 Why don't we walk over there 86 00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,329 and find out for ourselves during lunch? 87 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,705 Need to get my steps in, 88 00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,832 and it's closer to the cheesesteak spot... 89 00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,042 Another perk. 90 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,754 Only like a block closer, but, yeah, let's do it. 91 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:16,589 Well, y'all have fun. 92 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:17,864 I'll be here at work, working. 93 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,410 What? My followers aren't gonna influence themselves. 94 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,848 Ooh, do y'all feel that? 95 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,476 That is some good AC. 96 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,019 They got a young Mr. Johnson. 97 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,187 W... Hi. 98 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,564 These walls, the paint's not chipped. 99 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:36,234 And they have color. Do you smell that? 100 00:03:36,258 --> 00:03:37,735 I don't smell anything. 101 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:38,986 Exactly. 102 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,822 [ Chuckles ] You know what? No. 103 00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:42,156 Guys, it's not that great here. 104 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,242 I mean, look, the ceilings are smooth. 105 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,369 Isn't that what floors are for? 106 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,287 Because they don't have asbestos. 107 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,665 Ah, they cheaped out on asbestos. 108 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:53,292 Look, Janine, the school's just better, alright? 109 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,628 You don't have to lie about it. The cops ain't askin'. 110 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:58,005 - Hey! - Tina! 111 00:03:58,029 --> 00:04:00,216 Oh, what? 112 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,301 That's Ms. Schwartz, the teacher you replaced. 113 00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:03,386 The one who kicked a student? 114 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,595 Oh, I don't do that anymore. [ Laughs ] 115 00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:06,722 Because of therapy and anger management. 116 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,516 Also, at a charter school, 117 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:10,601 there's a lot less oversight in the hiring process, 118 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:11,644 so it's been pretty sweet. 119 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,146 Well, sweetheart, it's good to see you, 120 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,189 and the school is wonderful. 121 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:16,858 Yeah. Are those my books? 122 00:04:16,882 --> 00:04:18,526 Oh, yeah. Ohh! 123 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,611 I've been kicking myself for losing them. 124 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,530 [ Laughter ] 125 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,490 Something funny? 126 00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,575 No. 127 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,576 You guys want a little tour? 128 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,537 Yes. Okay, so... 129 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,664 this is the language lab. 130 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,124 The kids are currently learning French. 131 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,333 Bonjour! 132 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:35,585 Together: Bonjour! 133 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,962 Aww! Ohh. 134 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,591 Yeah. Over there are our restrooms, which are awesome 135 00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:44,385 because the baños don't attack you here. 136 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,387 Oh, I fixed that toilet, so... Okay. 137 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:49,015 Uh, the music teacher comes ♪ twice a week ♪ 138 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:51,434 ♪ Abbott's comes twice a week, as well ♪ 139 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,019 Just lying. I... 140 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,980 And this little diddly is our computer lab. [ Gasps ] 141 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,107 You know, the kids love it, and it's improved 142 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,693 reading scores just across the board. 143 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,487 Is that Mavis Beacon? 144 00:05:02,511 --> 00:05:04,697 Yeah, this place is the best. [ Chuckles ] 145 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:05,990 We did have a little mice problem, 146 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:09,327 but we called people to humanely get rid of them, so... 147 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,912 Instead of chasing them with sticks, you know? 148 00:05:10,936 --> 00:05:12,747 [ Chuckles awkwardly ] That's so great. 149 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,040 It really is great! 150 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,292 It's so great here! It's really great at Abbott, too! 151 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:20,111 Oh, hey, Kya, you gagootz, keep it movin'! 152 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,657 [ Scoffs ] 153 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,803 Okay, come on. 154 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,304 Let's get out of here, come on. 155 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,597 Melissa, that's... that's like 156 00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:30,973 your charter school doppelganger. 157 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,683 I said let's go! 158 00:05:32,707 --> 00:05:33,643 Um... 159 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,646 Open your ears, listen with your minds. 160 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,649 Assuming everybody here has seen "Pocahontas," 161 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,609 the original "Avatar." 162 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:43,444 Really? [ Knock on door ] 163 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,446 Oh, class, this is Mr. Eddie. 164 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,657 This is the guy I was telling you about. 165 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,283 What have you been telling them? 166 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,661 N-Never mind. Can I talk to you for a minute? 167 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,246 Okay, everyone, give a couple besties 168 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,855 a moment to, uh, flap the gums. 169 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,441 Whoa! You look hot. 170 00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,462 Warm. Y-You're sweating. 171 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,089 Yeah, my classroom is sweltering, 172 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,590 and I can't remember the way Barbara showed us 173 00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:05,716 how to open up the windows. 174 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,759 How do you do that again? 175 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:09,053 Oh, well, I am flattered you thought to ask me first, 176 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,305 but that's definitely more of a Barbara question. 177 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,390 That's what Janine said. 178 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,599 Oh, so I wasn't first. 179 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:14,976 You know, it's fine. 180 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,227 Sweating is good for the students. 181 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:17,687 It stimulates the brain. 182 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,564 Wait, wait. Why aren't you just asking Barbara? 183 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:20,940 Is there something else going on? 184 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,817 Don't worry about it. Okay, but I will worry about it, 185 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:23,985 you know, and every time I see you, 186 00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,778 I'll be thinking about it and want to talk about it. 187 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,364 Okay, fine, look, I'm avoiding Barbara right now 188 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:32,076 because things with Taylor aren't going... great, okay? 189 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,828 We're not meshing, and I'll talk to Barbara eventually. 190 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:36,497 I just have to figure out a plan for this whole Taylor situation. 191 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,416 Girl problems, young blood? 192 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,691 I cannot relate. 193 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:41,818 I have to go. 194 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,298 Hmm? Students: Eh. 195 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:48,134 Ooh, I didn't know Jazz Band was a color. 196 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,886 Abbott is my home, and I take pride in it, 197 00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,889 so I've decided to brighten up the place myself. 198 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:57,727 And it'll be as good as anywhere else. 199 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,312 Addington who? 200 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,896 Ms. Teagues is pleased. 201 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,565 [ Applause ] Yeah! 202 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,649 Yeah, we're gonna go Jazz Band. 203 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,860 I think that's a real reflection of our room, right? 204 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:06,861 You play bass. 205 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:08,571 Uh, what do you think you're doing? 206 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:11,616 Oh, um, just sprucing up the place. 207 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,701 That charter school had that fresh coat of paint, 208 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:14,994 so if we just... We're not Addington. 209 00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,788 We're an actual public school, and you can't paint the walls. 210 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,915 Classroom decor is set by the Philadelphia Department 211 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,251 of Education, Animal Shelters, and Traffic. 212 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,795 Well... Trust me, the blue looks worse. 213 00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:26,589 My brother gets to go to Addington. 214 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,924 They take a field trip every month. 215 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,927 Is it true that they have a computer lab? 216 00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:35,848 Yep, and you can Google stuff. 217 00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:36,665 Dang. 218 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,227 [ Door opens ] [ Breathing heavily ] 219 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,729 I know how we can spend the grant money. 220 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,649 Janine, didn't you get your breathing checked over the summer? 221 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:46,692 We already agreed we're spending it on baby wipes 222 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,319 and cleaning supplies. 223 00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,863 Look, I know it's not sexy, but we just need the basics here. 224 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,615 But the basics aren't good enough. 225 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,742 These kids need to be uplifted. 226 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:57,870 We can turn the library into a computer lab. 227 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,121 Get a bunch of computers... 228 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,666 You mean computer. The "S" makes it expensive. 229 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,709 Fine. Computer for the library. 230 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,879 We don't even have a librarian for the library. 231 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,173 It would be nice to get some plants for the classrooms. 232 00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:10,716 Or some air freshener. 233 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:12,551 A computer. Why are we even debating this? 234 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:13,969 I can't believe you don't want to do more for our kids. 235 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,346 That's not what it's about, Janine. 236 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:16,722 Then what is it about? 237 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:19,684 Look, we should not be competing with any school. 238 00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,645 We should be doing our best for this one. 239 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:25,898 Yeah, no, I'm not saying ...Yeah. [ Indistinct talking ] 240 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,358 Sounds like y'all got some different ideas 241 00:08:27,382 --> 00:08:28,734 about the grant money. 242 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,528 We need to come up with a fair and responsible way 243 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,029 to figure out what to do with the rest of that cash. 244 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:32,738 - Dear God. - Like what? 245 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,031 The only tried-and-true way 246 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:37,034 that any sound financial decisions are made. 247 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,661 Y'all ever seen "Shark Tank"? 248 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:42,731 [ Humming "Shark Tank" theme ] 249 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:48,087 Ah, all dressed up for your big dip in the Shark Tank today? 250 00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:48,921 What? No. 251 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,089 I got to go to court later 252 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,924 for throwing a corn cob at Ben Simmons. 253 00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,884 Wait, so you're not gonna make a presentation? 254 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,220 No! I'm not gonna humiliate myself, 255 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,097 and I don't know anybody else who would, either. 256 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,850 I stayed up all night making my presentation. 257 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,101 Of course you did. 258 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:03,561 I'm gonna win that grant money 259 00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,980 and turn Abbott into a crown jewel of the neighborhood. 260 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,273 Crown jewel? 261 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:10,985 It'll be us and that corner store that still sells loosies. 262 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,154 You know, in the end times, it's just gonna be cockroaches 263 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:15,698 roaming the empty streets and Janine holding up a sign 264 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:17,974 that says "Turn that frown upside down." 265 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,299 Whoa, that was awkward. 266 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,842 Hey, I hope whatever's going on 267 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,218 with you and Taylor can be fixed. 268 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,929 Unfortunately, I don't think so. 269 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,931 I cannot do another dinner at a restaurant 270 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,850 that does small plates with a unique flare. 271 00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:44,185 Small plates? 272 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,394 Oh, you have to break up. 273 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,271 Just call her right now, rip off the Band-Aid. 274 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,815 Normally I would, but I don't think I can be the one to end this one. 275 00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,901 If I hurt Taylor, I hurt Barbara. 276 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,652 You best not go hurtin' Barbara. 277 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,237 You want my advice? No. 278 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:59,033 Mail a certified letter telling her you got drafted. 279 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:02,036 Or you could just let it peter out. 280 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,079 What do you mean, peter out? 281 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:05,122 You can't ghost. That's too harsh. 282 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,666 But petering is gentle. It's nice. 283 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,960 I've... I've done it a bunch of times. 284 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,880 You just stop using exclamation points, okay? 285 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:14,965 You start taking a few hours to respond, 286 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,051 and then, you know, before you know it, 287 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,886 it's been a few weeks since you've gotten a text that says, 288 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,930 "Good morning, handsome." 289 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,474 It's risky, but it could work. 290 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:26,018 And you probably won't get your tires slashed. 291 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,229 You ever heard of Martha and the Vandellas? 292 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,856 Well, I dumped Martha, but I'm pretty sure 293 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,842 the Vandellas vandalized my car. 294 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,989 I would like to not have my tires slashed, so... 295 00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,741 Thanks for being here, Courtney. 296 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:42,368 I think of you like a young me. 297 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:44,537 I think of you like an old me. 298 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,914 This ain't "A Star Is Born." I'll shut your tiny ass down. 299 00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,124 Let's get going. 300 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,584 There's dust bunnies in the gym with my name on it. 301 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,795 [ "Shark Tank" theme music plays ] 302 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:58,717 ♪♪ 303 00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,094 Shanae: Hello, Sharks. 304 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:03,055 You all know me as the Lunch Lady. 305 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,391 'Cause none of you had the decency to ask my name. 306 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:06,684 Yes, continue, Lunch Lady. 307 00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:08,352 My name is Shanae. 308 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,354 And I'm looking for a 100% investment 309 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:12,064 of the grant money for our kitchen. 310 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,358 We need cutlery, a bunch of tongs, and hair nets, 311 00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:16,235 'cause I know y'all are tired of stray hair in your food. 312 00:11:16,259 --> 00:11:18,445 I thought that was a new kind of soup. 313 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,613 Ava: Thank you for your presentation, 314 00:11:19,637 --> 00:11:20,948 but I don't see how any of this 315 00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,033 benefits me personally in any way, 316 00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,517 and for that reason, I am out. 317 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,043 Hey, Ava. Do you work here? 318 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,128 For nine years! 319 00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,839 Damn, this is embarrassing... For you. 320 00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,465 You should really try to stand out more. 321 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,176 [ Sighs ] 322 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,094 I haven't been impressed with the pitches so far. 323 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,137 They're trash. 324 00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,638 It's like they don't even want it. 325 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,849 Can't believe I get to miss class for this. 326 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,082 Okay, who's next? 327 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,229 Oh, thank God. 328 00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,106 I thought you had some kind of twin janitor. 329 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,733 That was freaky. Hello, Sharks. 330 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:58,152 My name is Mr. Johnson, and I'm here to pitch you 331 00:11:58,176 --> 00:12:01,512 on janitorial work in the 21st century. 332 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:03,991 Behold. 333 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,117 Okay. 334 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,911 With 100% of that grant money, 335 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:09,747 I could become the 007 of janitors, 336 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,356 Agent 409. 337 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,132 Welcome to the Tank. What do you have for us? 338 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:23,219 Uh, we're just here to retrieve some books. 339 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,887 'Cause this is, you know, a library. 340 00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:27,181 You both are annoying me, and for that reason, I'm out. 341 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:28,349 We don't want to be in! 342 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,267 Nevertheless, it's a no. 343 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:34,188 And that is why I'm seeking the entire sum of the grant 344 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:36,523 so that we can grant... 345 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:38,108 our kids a brighter future. 346 00:12:38,132 --> 00:12:40,653 Thank you. [ Chuckles ] 347 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,738 No. No? 348 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,990 I don't know. It's a bit much. 349 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,660 But a bit much is kind of my brand. 350 00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,787 I know, but I think it'll be more effective 351 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:52,605 if we limit the theatrics and just keep it grounded. 352 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,920 See, that is why I came to you. 353 00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,214 Because Jacob just would've lied to my face 354 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,549 and told me it was amazing. 355 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:06,136 Man, see, you're such an honest, straight-up guy. 356 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,597 You're right. 357 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,100 I am straight up. And honest. 358 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,227 It's kind of my brand. 359 00:13:13,251 --> 00:13:15,354 Well, it's not really your brand. 360 00:13:15,378 --> 00:13:16,671 Yeah, it is. 361 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:19,441 See? 362 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,527 Okay, then. Well, I'm going shark diving. 363 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:22,885 Wish me luck. 364 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:28,951 So, if I get the seed money, 365 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,036 I'll be able to have my water ice truck all year round. 366 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,955 What does this have to do with the school? 367 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,373 This about the school? 368 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,166 I thought y'all was just giving out money. 369 00:13:36,190 --> 00:13:37,418 Get out. 370 00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:39,044 Courtney: He's got my vote. 371 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,839 It's so hot, I could really go for a water ice right now. 372 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,132 Oh, we don't take bribes... 373 00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,991 That aren't in the form of money. 374 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,181 Hi, Sharks. I'm Janine Teagues from Philadelphia. 375 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,725 Girl, we already know who you are. 376 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,767 Get to it. 377 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,979 See? This is why I was bored in her class. 378 00:13:57,003 --> 00:14:00,190 Today I am seeking an investment of the full grant 379 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,359 to brighten and better our school. 380 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,863 I'm talking computer... 381 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,906 the gateway to the future. 382 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,241 One second. 383 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:10,784 Gregory was right. This was too much. 384 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,202 Ava: Let's go to commercial break. 385 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,163 I'm reserving judgment till you can answer this question. 386 00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,289 You got one in my size? 387 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,291 I do! 388 00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,334 T-shirt, T-shirt, T-shirt. 389 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,920 So you want us to look just as dorky as you. 390 00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:26,341 A lot of our kids don't have access to the Internet at home. 391 00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,927 Plus, I believe this will boost morale, 392 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:32,056 which positively affects learning, 393 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,223 according to certain studies. 394 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,475 Are those peer reviewed? 395 00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:36,602 I prefer the pitch Mr. Johnson gave. 396 00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,063 Look, we can prove that we're not just as good 397 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:40,731 as any charter school, 398 00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:42,882 we're better! 399 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,653 Stay tuned and find out who we'll be making a deal with 400 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,238 after this next break. 401 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,741 Who are you talking to? 402 00:14:50,765 --> 00:14:52,284 This is always my favorite part, 403 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,244 when we let the losers know who they are. 404 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,746 Yeah. Sorry, Mr. Hill. 405 00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:57,539 What? I didn't even pitch. 406 00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,874 Because morale is important, 407 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,085 and because I got outvoted two to one, 408 00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:02,169 the winner is... 409 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,588 Janine. 410 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,632 Wait. Wait a minute. I'm Janine. 411 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,592 Wait, I won? Oh, my gosh, this feels amazing. 412 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,677 I usually only get this feeling watching movies. 413 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:11,678 Ugh. 414 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,013 Congrats, girl. 415 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:14,389 You're getting your computer. 416 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,557 Student: Aah! What is that? 417 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,768 You guys got to see what's in the cafeteria! 418 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,585 [ Students screaming ] 419 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,401 Hello, friend. 420 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:27,677 For real? 421 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,281 This is why we need new tongs. 422 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,991 The mice are just slipping through the old ones. 423 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,743 [ Gasping ] 424 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,370 Don't worry. I figured out the problem. 425 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,996 W-W-What is it, Mr. Johnson? 426 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,248 There's a bunch of mice runnin' around. 427 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,916 We know that, Mr. Johnson! 428 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,209 Oh. 429 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:43,818 You're up to speed, then. 430 00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,134 Melissa: I don't know. We'll just... Here he is. 431 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,426 Seems that when they chased the mice from that charter school, 432 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,512 they roamed the streets looking for somewhere else to go. 433 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,805 Abbott was the most delicious. 434 00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:56,265 Congrats, Janine. 435 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,684 I guess Abbott is better than Addington at something. 436 00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,060 Well, can you get rid of them or not? 437 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,979 This job is too big for one Mr. Johnson. 438 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:04,857 Oh, exterminators are expensive. 439 00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:05,941 Melissa: The grant money. 440 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,401 Yeah, I don't really think we got a choice. 441 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,193 No. 442 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,444 But I won. 443 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,305 Well, sorry, hon. Abbott is undefeated. 444 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:14,867 [ Window rattling ] 445 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,161 Oh, uh, Mrs. Howard. 446 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,996 Can you please help me with this window? 447 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,123 Oh, sure. 448 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,917 They don't call me the Window Whisperer for nothing. 449 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,128 Alright. 450 00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:29,298 Okay, now, press directly here and release the pressure. 451 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:33,343 [ Grunts ] Ah, there you go. 452 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,845 That all? 453 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,723 Um, no, actually, it's not. 454 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,600 I don't know why I avoided it for so long. 455 00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:42,436 I'm not a peter-out kind of guy. 456 00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:44,313 I'm happy Janine reminded me of that. 457 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,273 I actually wanted to talk to you about something. 458 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:49,401 [ Sighs ] And I wanted to talk to you, too. 459 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,028 I just want to say I'm sorry 460 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,346 things didn't work out between you and Taylor. 461 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,409 Oh! 462 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,369 Oh, don't tell me I'm breaking the news. Uh... 463 00:16:59,393 --> 00:17:02,080 Ooh! I told that child, 464 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,333 "You have got to be straightforward." 465 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,460 Petering out is just not of the Lord. 466 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,337 Mnh-mnh! 467 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,631 Wait, so she was petering out on me? 468 00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:11,840 Do you know why? 469 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:16,410 Well, I think she said you a "broke bwah." 470 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:22,500 I think she's saying I'm a broke boi. 471 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,354 Oh. 472 00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,420 No. 473 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,820 I can't believe we have rats in this school. 474 00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:36,448 Well, they're actually mice, which are better than rats 475 00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:38,033 'cause they're less intrusive. 476 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:41,245 This lady trying to put a positive spin on rats. 477 00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:45,541 Don't get it twisted. This is a mouse house now. 478 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,167 Look. 479 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:49,378 Barbara and I weren't trying to be mean. 480 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,880 It's just the kind of stuff we got to deal with around here. 481 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,091 And that's why, when we can get anything, 482 00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,300 we just want the basics. 483 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:56,969 No, I get it. I do. 484 00:17:56,993 --> 00:18:00,222 You know, I just saw Addington and freaked. 485 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,391 Just wanted to get something special for Abbott 486 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,434 so that we don't feel like an afterthought. 487 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,937 Mm. Wanted us to feel just as good, 488 00:18:06,961 --> 00:18:09,439 even though maybe that just isn't true. 489 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:12,276 And now it looks like we won't be getting any of that stuff. 490 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,986 Yeah, even if I can cut a deal with the rat guy, 491 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,988 we're only gonna have like 350 bucks left. 492 00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,574 Yep. Okay, let's just get wipes. 493 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,242 There you go. Yeah. 494 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:23,269 The kids don't need to feel special. 495 00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:29,793 Well, if that's all you want, 496 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,920 I can make somebody feel special for less than $350. 497 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,631 Ava, I've said I do not want to go to a strip club with you. 498 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,092 That wasn't an invitation, girl. I just needed some ones. 499 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,344 And lots of 'em. [ Laughs ] 500 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:42,139 But, no, I have another idea. 501 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:46,059 Thank you, Sharks, for this one-time cash infusion. 502 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,270 This is awesome! 503 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,837 Abbott for the win! 504 00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:53,525 Whoa, they got water ice? 505 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:55,485 That's right. Water ice at Abbott. 506 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:56,612 Keep it moving. 507 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,072 What do you have, a computer lab? 508 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,324 Dweebs. 509 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:02,200 [ Laughs ] 510 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,785 Yeah, you heard the baby shark. 511 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:08,415 Keep it movin', and quit staring us down with that lazy eye. 512 00:19:08,439 --> 00:19:09,916 Who you think you're talkin' to? 513 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,378 A woman with Jersey mall hair and too much makeup. 514 00:19:13,402 --> 00:19:15,339 Now take that sfigato ass down the street. 515 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:16,340 Oh. 516 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,133 Melissa! 517 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,135 I don't even know what "sfigato" means 518 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,386 and I know that was too much. 519 00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,013 It's a very small cup of coffee. 520 00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:24,931 That's not even close, and I can say whatever I want 521 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,290 to my stupid sister. 522 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,562 Sister? As in the woman that works at the other school? 523 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:32,606 You have the same mom? Y-Your sister? 524 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:34,524 Yeah, yeah, good, you know what having a sister means. 525 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,152 Glad you're making good use of that Penn education. 526 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,489 Wait... And, no, I'm not saying another word about this. 527 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,326 Well, um, hey, you got to hand it to Ava. 528 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,119 This is... This is a blast. Yeah. 529 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:49,831 And it is so good that the kids can feel special today. 530 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,668 Oh, are you saying that I was right, Barbara? 531 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,485 Uh... no. 532 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,674 [ Sighs ] Oh, this is so fun. 533 00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,385 Yeah. I just wish Gregory could enjoy it. 534 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:02,552 What's wrong with Gregory? 535 00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,805 Well, you didn't hear it from me, 536 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:07,623 but I think he and Taylor are on the outs. 537 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:12,354 That's too bad. 538 00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:13,504 Yeah. 539 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,300 Hey, Devin, can I get a piña colada? 540 00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:25,742 Hey. Hey. 541 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,577 You okay? 542 00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,394 I will be. 543 00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:32,999 Thank you. 544 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:35,127 You are so welcome. 545 00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,586 You're all welcome! 546 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,213 I really killed that today. 547 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:41,216 Kids happy, Janine quiet, Gregory fine. 548 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,051 I feel like I got a real knack for this, 549 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,221 like I could be president or maybe even mayor of a school. 550 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,455 What would you call that? 551 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,935 How's that petering out going? 552 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:55,689 Well, it turns out that Taylor was actually petering out on me. 553 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:58,483 Whoa, she petered? 554 00:20:58,507 --> 00:20:59,860 That's amazing. 555 00:20:59,884 --> 00:21:01,486 How is that amazing? 556 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,697 Because, man, that's what people used to do to me. 557 00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:06,491 Huh? Just one more thing we have in common. 558 00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,701 Don't take it so hard. 559 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,369 Everybody gets dumped. 560 00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:10,912 If it can happen to Michael B. Jordan, 561 00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,414 it can happen to you. 562 00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:15,041 Now, that white boy sure can act. 563 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:19,570 Ooh! I love those "Back to the Future" movies. 564 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,758 Together: Michael J. Fox. 565 00:21:22,782 --> 00:21:24,033 Hmm?