1
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:05,398
I, for one, loathe that
we live in a surveillance state,

2
00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,150
but is there any chance
there is a security camera

3
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,610
pointed towards the bike rack?

4
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,737
No. Our camera is pointed
at the drop-off line

5
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,572
so I can see
which dads have nice cars.

6
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,325
Why? A bike has gone missing.

7
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:16,993
Who would steal a child's bike?

8
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,412
Well, maybe not a child's,
but an adult's.

9
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,914
Your bike got stolen?

10
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:23,708
[ Laughs ]

11
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:28,463
I saw an unfamiliar man milling
about the rack this morning.

12
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:30,280
Okay, well,
what did he look like?

13
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,388
U-Uh, I would say he had a,
you know,

14
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:41,392
somewhat curly
and spherical haircut.

15
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,644
An afro?

16
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,062
It was... Some might call it...

17
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:45,438
You know what,
this feels reductive.

18
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,524
No, no, no! No,
let's get to the bottom of this.

19
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,150
Would you describe this person

20
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,362
as someone who might
have difficulty getting a loan?

21
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,821
You know what? It's fine.
[ Laughs ]

22
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,032
Was it really ever my bike,
anyways?

23
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,826
You know, does anyone
really own anything?

24
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:03,456
I will, uh, leave you
to ponder that query,

25
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,483
and, uh, adieu.

26
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:10,279
I suppose I won't
be needing this.

27
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:14,259
[ Laughs ]

28
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:17,929
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]

29
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:25,252
♪♪

30
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,065
After reading the material
and looking at the data

31
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,858
from the past five years,

32
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:32,277
I have to agree with the
nutritional board of Missouri

33
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:34,195
that small changes
like a beverage

34
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,114
can lead to seismic shifts.

35
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:37,949
Guys, this juice is the future.

36
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,534
You don't need to stand
when you talk.

37
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,954
You don't need to talk, period.

38
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,622
Devin: Once a year,
the lunch crew has a meeting

39
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:47,208
to discuss new menu options
from the school district.

40
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,252
This year it was about juice.

41
00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,838
Now, the meeting is technically
open to all staff,

42
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,631
but most teachers take the hint

43
00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:56,175
and leave it
to the professionals.

44
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:59,429
One teacher wouldn't know a hint
if it closed a door in her face.

45
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,055
Twice.

46
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,641
You guys missed
a great lunch committee meeting.

47
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,435
They don't want teachers there.

48
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:08,187
Oh, so they just say "all
are welcome" as a formality?

49
00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:09,939
Yeah, right. [ Chuckles ]

50
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,317
Oh, God. Anyway, someone had
to get the scoop

51
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,402
on this hot new juice.

52
00:02:14,426 --> 00:02:16,195
It's two more ounces than the
juice the kids are drinking now

53
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:18,698
and five percent
more real juice.

54
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,033
That's 10 percent more juice.

55
00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:22,577
Okay, math!
Yes, it's less sugar.

56
00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:24,245
It's better all around.

57
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,205
It's a really easy low-lift win
for our kids.

58
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,582
So what do you guys think?

59
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,916
Less sugar is compelling.
Mm-hmm.

60
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,168
I'm not really
a big fan of juice.

61
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,086
I prefer nature's juice...

62
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,297
Water.

63
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,382
What do you think, Barbara?

64
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,135
I say no.
The kids aren't complaining.

65
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,888
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

66
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,181
I'm with Barbara.

67
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,766
Okay, well, I'm for it,

68
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,351
but I would love
to discuss further.

69
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,478
I have been here a long time,
Janine.

70
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:49,604
Trust me.

71
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,939
New projects mean new problems.

72
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,191
Mm-hmm. [ Scoffs ]

73
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,276
What problems could there
possibly be?

74
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,195
"Oh, no, help me. I'm hurting..."

75
00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,780
From getting too much
of my daily recommended

76
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:00,114
fruit servings.

77
00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,158
[ Laughter ]

78
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,576
There's no downside here.

79
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,828
It seems like you have
made up your mind.

80
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,290
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got to go teach my children

81
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,418
what happens
if you give a moose a muffin.

82
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,878
It does not end well.

83
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,713
New juice it is.

84
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:19,133
Okay, so if you have a dollar,
and your brother,

85
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,385
who already owes you 10 grand

86
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,303
'cause he keeps
backing the Jets,

87
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:24,806
wants to borrow 75 cents...

88
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,349
Where are my quarters?

89
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,392
[ Change rattles ] Ashley: Whoo!

90
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:29,602
[ Children cheering ]

91
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,230
Ashley Garcia,
Frankford, Philly.

92
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,400
Old enough to know better,
young enough to sheesh.

93
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,026
And I'm here at Abbott
as an aide

94
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,861
'cause I'm helpful as hell.

95
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:40,988
That's why I've been at
four schools in four months.

96
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,824
'Cause everyone wants a piece.

97
00:03:42,848 --> 00:03:44,826
Hey, are those mine?

98
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,369
Hey, you want your own quarters,

99
00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,121
date your own
vending machine guy.

100
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:51,416
I'm using them for my
science lesson on momentum.

101
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,376
Oh! If it's heads,
I get to keep it.

102
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:54,901
It's tails.

103
00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:01,342
[ Indistinct conversations ]

104
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,511
Would you look at this?
The kids love it,

105
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,513
and the juice
is flying off the trays.

106
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:08,433
Yeah, maybe next year
we could get real meat.

107
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:10,560
Mmm.

108
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,937
Mm. What's that I taste?

109
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:16,107
Is that the nectar
of sweet victory?

110
00:04:16,131 --> 00:04:18,317
Yeah, the kids are having
more juice,

111
00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,653
but less sugar,
and they seem very happy.

112
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,156
That's nice, dear.

113
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,074
You gotta admit this was
a good idea.

114
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,076
You know, your kids
are probably loving it.

115
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,078
Well, I guess we'll never know

116
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,623
because I did not opt in
for this juice.

117
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,125
Why not?

118
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:35,793
Because my class will be
sticking with the juice

119
00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:39,130
that has been working
for the past 20 years.

120
00:04:39,154 --> 00:04:41,758
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

121
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:42,925
All right, you know what?
I think they should change

122
00:04:42,949 --> 00:04:44,844
that phrase to
"If it ain't broke,

123
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,888
do fix it sometimes

124
00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,431
because it might
make it better."

125
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,225
So you want to fix
an unbroken phrase

126
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:54,187
that has been used
effectively for generations?

127
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,856
If it makes it better, then yes.

128
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,275
Ugh.

129
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,319
Don't worry.
Chapter books will be a breeze.

130
00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,112
Most books are based
off movies anyway,

131
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,238
so you can watch instead of...

132
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:07,700
No, no! No.

133
00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,953
Ashley is more easily distracted
than my second graders.

134
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,538
But I got a plan.

135
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,874
I figure if we organize
her work, it'd help,

136
00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,293
so I made her a to-do list,

137
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,337
which is different
from my to-do list,

138
00:05:19,361 --> 00:05:22,048
which includes
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

139
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,758
Or Jon "The Rock" Bon Jovi.

140
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,469
Yeah, so where are youse
on that checklist?

141
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,845
Oh.

142
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:29,555
Ashley. Checklist.

143
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,224
Oh, you meant me?

144
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,642
Right. Good! Great.

145
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,477
I mean, I lost it. Of course.

146
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,020
Okay, so you're supposed
to be working on words

147
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:39,732
with H's after P's. 'Kay?

148
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:42,235
H's after D's? That's weird.

149
00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:44,237
No. H's after P.

150
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:47,406
P. [ Snorts ]

151
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,908
You said pee-pee.

152
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:52,036
[ Laughter ]

153
00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,081
Hot, right?
So this is vintage 2019 Zara,

154
00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,167
previously loved. I'm gonna
start this listing at $20.

155
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,961
Okay, I see you @moolahbaybee.

156
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:01,671
Can I get $25?

157
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,923
Ava, it's urgent.

158
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:05,675
Okay, sold to @moolahbaybee.

159
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:09,637
You better count your blessings,
fan, 'cause this is a steal.

160
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:10,763
[ Cellphone chimes ]

161
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,348
Okay, y'all, I gotta run.

162
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:13,850
Remember, my live pop-up sales
only happen

163
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,018
Monday through Friday,
9:00 a. M. To 3:00 p. m..

164
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,603
Otherwise, I'm pretty busy.

165
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,021
Peace.

166
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,982
Administrative business.
What's going on?

167
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:22,608
Ashley's gotta go. Who?

168
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:24,819
My new aide. I want her gone.

169
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,195
Oh, what exactly is the problem?

170
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,446
She's giving me agita.

171
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:28,948
We can't fire people for that.

172
00:06:28,972 --> 00:06:30,449
I tried to get Jacob fired
his first year

173
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,827
for buying me a reusable
water bottle for Christmas.

174
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,144
I found it passive aggressive.

175
00:06:35,729 --> 00:06:37,540
And yet he's still here.

176
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,791
You gotta have a paper trail
of bad behavior.

177
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,376
This is a bureaucracy.

178
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,836
Yeah, but she's a huge pain
in my ass.

179
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,838
I'm actually getting less work
done with her here.

180
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,256
Okay, damn.
I'll come to your class

181
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,674
and monitor her myself.

182
00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,676
You will? Yes!

183
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,428
Why does everybody get so
surprised when I say I'll help?

184
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,846
I'm a professional.

185
00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,472
No, that's... that's great.

186
00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:55,725
Thank you.

187
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,894
Now, what does one wear
to monitor?

188
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,980
Three-ninths is complicated.

189
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,523
A little full of itself.

190
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:04,191
It's not my favorite,
but some people...

191
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:07,153
Oh. Kalan, Armonni,
welcome back.

192
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:09,405
You took so long I thought
you fell in the toilet,

193
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,906
but now it's time to fall

194
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,617
into the wonderful world
of fractions.

195
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:15,369
I have to go to the bathroom,
too, Miss Teagues.

196
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:19,582
Okay, um, who else needs
to go to the bathroom?

197
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,126
Well, looks like
I need to go, too,

198
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,444
so I guess it's time
to take a little field trip.

199
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:29,175
Dang, this line is longer
than Saweetie's nails.

200
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,509
Is there some kind of
free-before-ten special

201
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:31,927
going on that
I don't know about?

202
00:07:31,951 --> 00:07:33,012
We've been in line
for 15 minutes.

203
00:07:33,036 --> 00:07:34,847
It's been like this all day.

204
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,432
Has it? That's wild.

205
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,892
'Cause I've been so busy
working, you know,

206
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,268
I didn't notice.

207
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:41,562
Whoa, I thought it was
just my class.

208
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:42,772
What is going on?

209
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,273
It's this new juice.

210
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,816
It's busting their bladders.

211
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,151
Oh, but that can't be it.

212
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:48,903
I mean, it's only
two more ounces.

213
00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:51,072
Well, I guess two more ounces
adds up to 200 more trips

214
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:53,866
to the bathroom.

215
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,618
Well, this is a good thing

216
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,787
because more trips
to the bathroom

217
00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,623
means more liquid flushing
through their tiny bodies

218
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,042
and cleansing
their tiny little cells.

219
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,377
Hydration.

220
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:06,921
This is good. Mm.

221
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:10,091
[ Thud, toilet flushing ]

222
00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:12,909
Uh-oh.
I think the bathroom broke.

223
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,723
[ Sighs heavily ]

224
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,017
All the first floor bathrooms
are broken.

225
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,435
Until reinforcements arrive,

226
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,688
everyone has to use
the upstairs bathroom.

227
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,190
And I pray to
the Mario Brothers they hold.

228
00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:29,485
If I didn't have so much class,
I'd say "I told you so."

229
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,863
Ugh! You did not tell me
that changing juices

230
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,532
would make the kids
drink so much

231
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,658
that they peed the bathrooms
out of commission.

232
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,201
I told you that there was
no need

233
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,412
to fix something
that wasn't broken.

234
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,331
But no, that wasn't enough
for Janine.

235
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,041
You should have just
listened to me.

236
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,710
How are we even supposed
to teach?

237
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,795
My first graders have never even
been to the second floor before.

238
00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,422
And it takes me 45 seconds

239
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,840
at a brisk pace
to get all the way up there.

240
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,800
It will take the kids forever.

241
00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:54,885
You time yourself going
to the second floor?

242
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,512
You don't? Uh, while I admit

243
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,472
this is an unfortunate
circumstance,

244
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,808
it will be nice to have
some extra pairs of feet

245
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,893
up in the penthouses.

246
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,062
That's what we non-ground floor
teachers call it.

247
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,480
Wait, Barbara, is your
kindergarten bathroom

248
00:09:06,504 --> 00:09:09,692
still working?

249
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,778
Yes, my private facilities
are intact,

250
00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:16,490
due to my responsible
juice decision.

251
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,159
Can our kids use it, Barbara?

252
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,077
Please? It's a close call
getting them

253
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,579
to the first floor bathroom
as it is.

254
00:09:21,603 --> 00:09:23,122
And first graders have

255
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:25,750
the second most combustible
bladders. Okay, fine.

256
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:28,377
The kindergarten bathroom
may be used in emergencies.

257
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,129
Oh, thank goodness.

258
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,505
I meant the kids.

259
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,423
I'm a kid at heart.

260
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,966
You...

261
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:36,093
Thank you. Thank you.

262
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,429
Your lipstick... pretty. Those
pants are creased real well.

263
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:42,099
Okay, kids. How many yards are
in one Manute Bol?

264
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:44,018
Jessica.

265
00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:45,311
Three?

266
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,271
Not quite. Anybody else?

267
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:51,150
I'm Meg Thee Skeleton and it's
time to learn about our bones.

268
00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:54,195
Eh! [ Children laughing ]

269
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,113
Good news is, now that I have
Ashley helping out in my class,

270
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,865
I can teach two lessons at once.

271
00:09:57,889 --> 00:10:01,327
Bad news is, I now have
Ashley in my class.

272
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,287
[ Children laughing ]

273
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,997
How y'all doing?
Don't worry about me.

274
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,957
I'm not even here.

275
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,126
Alright. So, um... I'm here to
teach you about the human...

276
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,962
♪ Body-ody-ody-ody-ody-ody ♪

277
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,882
♪ Bones, blood, meat, you! ♪
Okay.

278
00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:16,675
Hey. Hi, my class.
[ Children laugh ]

279
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,969
You guys would know this
if you did your homework.

280
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,305
Hello. Right up here, guys.
Right up here.

281
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:24,183
Girl, is that my shirt?
Oh, this?

282
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,143
I got it off a popular
Depop page.

283
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,646
@AvaFlaaaaaaaaaav with 10 A's?

284
00:10:28,670 --> 00:10:30,689
Oh, my God. That's you?

285
00:10:30,713 --> 00:10:31,816
I love your clothes.

286
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,318
Thank you.

287
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,945
I closed that account down
for tax reasons,

288
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,863
but I do live auctions now.

289
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,324
Here, scan this QR code
and hit follow,

290
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,492
and make sure you turn
on the notifications

291
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,493
so you don't miss anything.

292
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,661
The good stuff goes fast.

293
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,496
Oh, my gosh. That's so smart.

294
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,915
You know, way better than
some piece of paper I'd lose.

295
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:48,958
Business cards are for gum,
girl.

296
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,751
This is the future. Yes.

297
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:54,255
Okay, how many feet
are in a yard?

298
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,340
Melissa, do you mind?

299
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,676
We talking business back here.

300
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,386
Okay, here's another one.

301
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:03,389
If I were to break
this yard stick in half

302
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:06,183
out of anger,
how long would each piece be?

303
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:09,603
The human...
♪ Body-ody-ody-ody-ody ♪

304
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:10,813
[ Class singing along ]

305
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:13,732
♪ Bones, blood, meat, you ♪

306
00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,359
[ Laughter ]

307
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:18,821
What clothes do we wear
in the winter time?

308
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,156
[ Class shouting "Me" ]

309
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:21,198
- Coat! - Mittens!
- Pajamas!

310
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,533
Very good.

311
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:23,784
[ Class shouting indistinctly ]

312
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,745
Hi, Keta. Hi, Hayley. Hi, Fred.

313
00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:28,455
I'm sorry, Mrs. Howard.
We'll be quick.

314
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,833
Come on.

315
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,334
All right, now.

316
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,986
And in what seasons
do we wear...

317
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:39,383
Sorry, Mrs. Howard.

318
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:42,887
In what seasons
do we wear pajamas?

319
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:45,389
My pajamas
have racecars on them!

320
00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:46,682
Yes.

321
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:47,766
Bathroom's over there.

322
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,125
Oh, thanks, girl.

323
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:51,920
Buddy system.

324
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:58,235
Pajamas are actually
year-round attire.

325
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,446
Mrs. Howard, I have to go potty.

326
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:01,739
All right. Get in line.

327
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:04,116
But it's a memergency.

328
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,868
Well, come on. Come on.

329
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,995
Let's go.

330
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:10,164
Hey! No cutting!

331
00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:12,875
Excuse me.
My children are kindergartners

332
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,169
and they need the bathroom
more than anyone.

333
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,504
Not more than me.
I had 10 juices.

334
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,089
You know what?

335
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:20,674
From now on, you all need
to use the bathroom

336
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,509
on the second floor.

337
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:23,928
But, Mrs. Howard,
that's not fair.

338
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,512
You know what's not fair?

339
00:12:25,536 --> 00:12:29,016
My children having to pay
for your juice mistakes.

340
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:32,102
Now, please get out.

341
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,812
That way! Okay.

342
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:35,272
C-Come on. Sorry.

343
00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,399
You trippin'. Ashley is a star.

344
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,901
I'm trying to run a classroom,

345
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:41,237
and she's actively
working against that.

346
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,738
I can't even hear myself think
over the kids

347
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,157
singing body-wody-whatever.

348
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,117
See, that's not even
how the song goes.

349
00:12:47,141 --> 00:12:48,661
I thought you was
one of them spicy Whites.

350
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:49,745
I hate being wrong.

351
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,872
Ava, she is a menace.

352
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:54,792
She painted eyeballs on her lids
so she could nap during class.

353
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:57,086
[ Laughs ] Ava!

354
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,129
She's supposed to be
prepping right now during lunch.

355
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,297
I don't even know where she is.

356
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,466
No. She's perfect.
Like a little mini-me.

357
00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,718
Hold on.

358
00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:07,972
Ashley, make a note in my
Halloween costumes ideas folder

359
00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:10,724
for a Mini-Me
and a sexy Dr. Evil.

360
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,768
Ashley: Copy. Ashley.

361
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,478
Where are you?

362
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,981
Getting water for
Ava's clothes steamer.

363
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,482
She wanted to steam them.

364
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:21,318
Can you go back to prepping
in my classroom, please?

365
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,320
Okay, you're kinda throwing
a lot at me here.

366
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,490
Ashley, go back to my classroom.

367
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,535
What? I already did my prep.

368
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:30,869
I do it while I'm teaching.

369
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,497
I call it preaching.

370
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,708
Single file.
Just line up right here.

371
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,167
All right? Bathroom?

372
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:39,253
Yeah. This is so inconvenient,

373
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:40,671
I can barely find
a silver lining.

374
00:13:40,695 --> 00:13:42,006
You found one?

375
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,465
We're getting good exercise.

376
00:13:43,489 --> 00:13:45,592
It don't count
if I don't got my FitBit on.

377
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:48,178
We cannot be expected to keep
hauling our entire classes

378
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:51,140
up the stairs
every five seconds.

379
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,224
We would help Barbara
if she needed it, right?

380
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,518
Yeah. Absolutely.

381
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,895
Because it is her free period
right now.

382
00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,465
[ Indistinct conversations ]

383
00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:04,194
And it's not like we'd be
disrupting her class.

384
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,779
Right? And I bet if I asked her,

385
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,638
she'd want us
to use her bathroom.

386
00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:10,576
Come on kids. Yeah, right.

387
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,036
Let's be quiet. Everyone, shhh.

388
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,204
Get low. Well, really,
just Mr. Eddie get low.

389
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,272
[ Whispering ] Get low. Get low.
Okay, come on.

390
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,043
Gregory: What's taking
that kid so long?

391
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,836
Who's even in there?

392
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,256
Um, everything okay?

393
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,591
You know, Gregory, you try it.

394
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,426
I've been told
I knock like a ghost.

395
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,951
Could y... I know. Just...

396
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:34,332
Girl: Hi, Mrs. Howard.

397
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,063
I distinctly remember
telling both of you

398
00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:41,356
that my bathroom was off limits.

399
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:43,233
Yes. Yes. But then I remembered

400
00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:45,110
how if you needed help,
I would give it to you.

401
00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,279
And that's lovely,
but I said no.

402
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,697
Barbara, look,
it's your free period.

403
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,032
Your kids are at the gym.

404
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:52,326
I don't care what period it is.

405
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:56,538
I said no, and I do not need
to explain my reasoning to you.

406
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,458
When I say something, that is
the end of the discussion.

407
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:04,880
There is a period at the end
of each of my sentences.

408
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,673
That felt like an
exclamation point. Mnh-mnh.

409
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:08,592
I'm sorry.

410
00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,552
Barbara, we are sorry,
but we will be done in a minute.

411
00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:12,054
The kids will be out,
and it will be like

412
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,388
we were ever here.

413
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:17,059
[ Pipes groan, water bubbling ]

414
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:19,019
I think it's broken.

415
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,878
[ Pipes groan ]

416
00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:26,360
Man, this is messier
than Temple Homecoming '74.

417
00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,694
The kindergarten toilet
somehow took out

418
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,196
all the second floor
toilets with it.

419
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,156
Third floor bathroom
is all we got now.

420
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,699
And I just got off the phone
with the city.

421
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:35,744
They said they can't do
anything until next week.

422
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,454
Thank you, Janine.

423
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:41,083
I was hoping I could take
my entire class

424
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,919
up and down the stairs
all day long.

425
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:47,422
And since one of my students
can't use the stairs,

426
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,676
I'll have to drop Johnny off
with another teacher.

427
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:51,909
Thank you.

428
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:55,681
[ Thumping rhythmically ]
Ah! Yeah.

429
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,016
You know, when you think
about it, "Grindin'" by Clipse

430
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,810
was kind of
the original Cup Song.

431
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,103
Mm. Oh, my God.

432
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,063
I never thought about it
like that.

433
00:16:03,087 --> 00:16:05,173
Anna Kendrick is such a fraud!

434
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:08,861
Oh, hi, Ashley.

435
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,238
Glad to see you hard
at not-work.

436
00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:13,365
I'm sure you finished that
to-do list I gave you?

437
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,576
Nar.

438
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,203
But I did write it all down
in my Notes app this time.

439
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,621
I'll get right on it.

440
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,899
Jacob, more on
Anna Kendrick later.

441
00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,086
Ava, status update.

442
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:28,088
All orders have been packaged
for shipping.

443
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,798
Oh, never thought the district
would send someone

444
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,550
so enterprising.

445
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:32,491
Thank you.

446
00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:39,057
I haven't seen you this mad
since the bartender cut you off

447
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,602
at the batting cages.

448
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,812
I can't get this girl
to put caps back on markers,

449
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:47,816
and here she is helping Ava run
an entire pyramid scheme.

450
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,195
Just tossing it out there,
feel free to toss it right back,

451
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:55,866
but maybe it's because
Ava actually engages with her.

452
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,368
This is a job.
It's not a meet and greet.

453
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:01,914
I'm just saying, it might help
if you got to know her.

454
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,332
Or... Or, you know,
carry on as is.

455
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:05,042
Whatever you...
Whatever you like.

456
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,877
Barbara: Let's get in line.
Thank you.

457
00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:10,505
[ Breathing heavily ]

458
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,424
[ Sighs ]

459
00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:13,967
Air is thin up here
on the third floor.

460
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,303
Mm-hmm.

461
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,638
Barbara, I owe you an apology

462
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:18,847
just as s-soon
as I catch my breath.

463
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:19,932
Mm-hmm.

464
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,475
[ Sighs ] Thank you.

465
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,685
I know you didn't mean
to ruin my day, Janine.

466
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,187
But I did.

467
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,939
You did.

468
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:30,651
I tried to tell you no,
but you wouldn't listen.

469
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:35,739
All day long I have 5-year-olds
asking me why this, why that.

470
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:39,409
I do not have the time
for a bunch of 20-somethings

471
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,619
doing the same thing.

472
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:43,247
I hear you. I do.

473
00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,374
But, Barbara, we need
to know the why.

474
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,750
If you just tell us the answer,

475
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:49,836
we'll never learn how
to solve the problems.

476
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,755
We need you to show
your work, too.

477
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,131
Look, when you were first
starting out,

478
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:54,591
didn't you have someone
who, like,

479
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,759
walked you through everything

480
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,427
and showed you
the tricks of the trade?

481
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,888
I did not.

482
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:04,351
Oh. Okay.

483
00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,562
I can't believe that
they won't come out for a week

484
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,356
just because we have
one working bathroom left.

485
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,525
Phew.

486
00:18:11,549 --> 00:18:15,821
Janine, now is when
you fix something.

487
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,781
When it's broken.

488
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,283
You see how that works?

489
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:22,160
I mean [chuckles] yeah,
unless you're the city.

490
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:25,706
I will be right back.
Watch my class. Thank you.

491
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,790
Excuse me.

492
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:30,335
[ Thumping rhythmically ]

493
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:33,255
So, uh, what's
this little number called?

494
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,382
Oh, the "Grindin'" beat.
My older sister taught it to me.

495
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:37,926
Kids love it.

496
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,761
It's kinda like the Cup Song.

497
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:42,079
Oh, we have so much to discuss.

498
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,791
♪ Signing ♪

499
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,605
Wanna try?

500
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,189
Yeah, you know what,
I'm good for now.

501
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,608
But how about this?
How about we make time

502
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,401
for you to teach
something cool like this

503
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:55,527
to the kids every week?
'Cause they're loving it.

504
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,195
Really? Absolutely.

505
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,572
And for now, why don't you
start grindin' away

506
00:18:58,596 --> 00:18:59,906
on that math test?

507
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:02,117
Can do, boss. All right.

508
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,620
Melissa, I need
your baseball bat.

509
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,330
Taped under my desk. Mm-hmm.

510
00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,373
Oh, wipe it down when
you're done. Got it.

511
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:10,626
Wait, can I get a baseball bat?

512
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:12,068
When you're older.

513
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,797
Come on, guys.
Good job washing your hands.

514
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,257
Go sit down on the stairs.

515
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:18,800
Janine: Who else has to go?
Come on up...

516
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,260
Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa!

517
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:21,595
We're sorry. We're sorry.
Barbara, what?!

518
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:23,597
Did everyone get a chance
to use the bathroom?

519
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,015
I pooped.

520
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:25,998
That's great, sweetheart.

521
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,811
Um, okay... Come on,
y'all. Let's take a step back.

522
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,439
Everybody step behind me.
Just stand behind me.

523
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,232
Just... behind us. Come on.

524
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,234
[ Clang, rattling,
water rushing ]

525
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,427
Oh, my God.

526
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,826
Whew.

527
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:49,623
[ Panting ] Well, this bathroom
is out of commission.

528
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,626
We will have to inform
the district that our situation

529
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:57,297
is now officially an emergency.

530
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,800
Barbara! This is why I always
want to meet up

531
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:01,343
with you and talk things out,

532
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:03,387
because you know how
to handle every situation.

533
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,223
And clearly, I do not.

534
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,142
Well, I didn't have anybody
to show me the ropes.

535
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:12,062
You were right.
It would have been a big help.

536
00:20:12,086 --> 00:20:13,980
Why don't I set aside some time

537
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:18,068
so anyone wanting to know
how I handled a situation

538
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:21,071
and why can come...
Build community.

539
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,864
Talk to me.

540
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,658
Like office hours. Office hour.

541
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:28,328
Got it. Once a week.
Once a month.

542
00:20:28,352 --> 00:20:30,455
Deal.

543
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:32,416
Deal.

544
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,334
I have one thing
to ask in return.

545
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,627
Yeah?

546
00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,837
Get rid of this for me.

547
00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:38,296
Oh, um... Thank you.

548
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,424
I don't wanna... Come on.

549
00:20:40,448 --> 00:20:41,490
...be a part of...this.
Come on. Let's go, class.

550
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,847
I had to go over
to the corner store

551
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:48,724
and they wouldn't give me
the bathroom code

552
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,875
without a purchase, so
I panic-bought some scratchers.

553
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,187
Come on, early retirement.

554
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:57,023
Yeah, same. So terrible.

555
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,151
Couldn't pee anywhere all day.

556
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,926
It was bananas.

557
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,120
[ Keypad beeps ]

558
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:11,037
I know y'all didn't think
I was using them

559
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:12,706
little kiddie toilets up there.

560
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:16,484
[ Soothing music plays ]

561
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,504
Unh-unh.
No cameras in the bathroom.

562
00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,881
But if you're wondering
if I have a bidet,

563
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,382
you bet I bi-do.

564
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:23,365
♪♪

565
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:29,288
...Captions by VITAC...