1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:04,314 ♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪ 2 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:08,234 ♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,029 ♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪ 4 00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:12,363 Zach, what are you doing here? 5 00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:14,949 ♪ That Jesus Christ is born ♪ 6 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,659 Oh, he's in a flow state. 7 00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,245 He's not gonna answer unless it's in the form of a song. 8 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:22,457 ♪ Since when are you working here? ♪ 9 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,877 ♪ I'm volunteering once a week ♪ 10 00:00:25,901 --> 00:00:27,795 ♪ Working for free ♪ 11 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,172 ♪ Working for free ♪ 12 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:29,923 ♪ Free ♪ 13 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:32,342 Oh, that is so cool. 14 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,552 He is really good. [ Vocalizing ] 15 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,554 His family takes caroling very seriously. 16 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,389 Nobody is guaranteed a part. 17 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:41,476 ♪ Last year, Grandma had throat surgery ♪ 18 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,853 ♪ And we put her on backup bells ♪ 19 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,104 Together: Backup bells! 20 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,564 ♪ Rang out the angels' choir... ♪ 21 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,775 Yeah, which is why you should be glad I am not coming. 22 00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,735 My voice is meant for spoken word. 23 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,528 Oh, wow. Jacob, I can't believe 24 00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,364 you're passing up the opportunity... 2, 3, 4! 25 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:55,949 ...to go to Pittsburgh and sing carols. 26 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,659 I don't want to risk being put on backup bells. 27 00:00:57,683 --> 00:01:00,703 ♪ ...that Jesus Christ is born ♪ 28 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:05,708 ♪ That Jesus Christ is [Singing off-key] boooorn ♪ 29 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,461 Okay, I feel way better about you not coming now. 30 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,921 2, 3, 4. 31 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:13,800 ♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪ 32 00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:17,220 ♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪ 33 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,472 [ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ] 34 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:24,561 ♪♪ 35 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:29,649 ♪♪ 36 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,277 And Christmas for you... 37 00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:35,446 So, it's the last day of school before Christmas... 38 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,323 Sorry. Holiday break. 39 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,118 And then I think Kwanzaa for you, Ariel. 40 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:41,578 Not everyone celebrates Christmas, 41 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,496 and I acknowledge that in my classroom. 42 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,373 And Randall. 43 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:48,209 Happy holidays. 44 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,128 Randall's a Jehovah's Witness. 45 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:51,963 Honestly, the students are mostly 46 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,464 just celebrating the religious practice 47 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:54,966 of not coming to school for two weeks. 48 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:56,592 The staff, too. 49 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,636 Everyone's been working hard. 50 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,388 It's gonna be nice to get some time off 51 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:02,098 and just let loose a little bit. 52 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,100 That's my plan, anyway. 53 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,768 This is my first single holiday, 54 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:07,270 and Erika is gonna straighten my hair, 55 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,688 and we got new clothes, 56 00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,523 and she says it's cold out 57 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:13,067 and guys need something to "rub up on." 58 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,278 So, we're gonna go out to a hookah bar tonight. 59 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:19,282 And who knows? Maybe I'll "hoook" up with someone. 60 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,618 But anyway, I'm just excited to get out of my work bubble 61 00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,537 and meet new people with my new look 62 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,789 and get my "ho" on. 63 00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:28,124 Those are Erika's words. 64 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,585 Not mine. I'm a teacher. 65 00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:33,671 "On, Dancer, on, Prancer, on, Donner and Blitzen. 66 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:38,092 She slays holidays, it's the sweet Christmas Vixen." 67 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:39,844 Seasons greetings, Ava's elves! 68 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,596 It is I, Principal Coleman Claus! 69 00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:43,681 Santa Claus just had a heart attack. 70 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,391 It's time for the gift exchange. 71 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:47,852 Let's find out who's been naughty and who's been nice. 72 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:51,105 And, remember, I only reward the naughty. 73 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,441 Everyone who picked a name out of Mr. Johnson's ice skate 74 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,151 last week, please gather 'round. 75 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,445 Dorothy Hamill and I used to be a thing. 76 00:02:57,469 --> 00:02:59,072 This is all I have left of her. 77 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:02,241 Okay, I hope you guys all stuck to the $25 minimum. 78 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,868 Um, I thought that was a maximum. 79 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,453 Stop limiting yourself. 80 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:07,330 Thinking small's what's got you in a dead-end job 81 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:08,706 in a poorly run school. 82 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,833 - Can't argue with that. - Um, can I go first? 83 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:13,211 I got Mr. Johnson. 84 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:16,005 So, you told me, against my will, 85 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,840 that back when you were a nude art model, 86 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:19,634 you didn't get to keep any of the things 87 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,094 made in your likeness. 88 00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,847 So, I had a local artist make this, 89 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,432 and only this, for you. 90 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,267 - Wow! - Love it. 91 00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,602 Yeah. Woman: Aww. 92 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:31,729 "To clean, or not to clean? That is the question." 93 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,356 [ Laughter ] 94 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,733 Alright, put your creepy little head down. 95 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,151 It's your turn to gift. 96 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,736 Merry Christmas, Melissa. 97 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:40,113 Ah, for me. 98 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,739 Okay, let's see. 99 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,199 Dallas Cowboy bobbleheads? 100 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,535 Yours to destroy in any way you see fit. 101 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,912 Oh! I can finally break out my blowtorch. 102 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,206 Yes! Okay, okay. 103 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,667 Ava, I got you. Wait a minute, are you sure? 104 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:53,918 Because I got Ava. 105 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,503 Uh, I did, too. 106 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:56,963 Yeah, I put my name in a few times 107 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:58,339 'cause I knew all of your mediocre gifts 108 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,198 would add up to one decent gift. 109 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,095 Seventeen dollars to The Office Loft? 110 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:05,954 I didn't think it would be yours, Gregory. 111 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:10,226 Merry Capitalism to you all. 112 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,437 Barbara, although I did not participate 113 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,896 in the gift exchange, I did get you 114 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,399 the humanely harvested poinsettia you asked for. 115 00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,067 Merry Christmas. 116 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,445 Jacob. 117 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,530 It's beautiful. 118 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:26,617 And perfect for Melissa and my annual Christmas Lounge dinner. 119 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,035 Every year, it's our tradition, 120 00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,954 on the last day of school before break... 121 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:31,038 We bring in some food. 122 00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,373 Yeah, have a little wine. Mm-hmm. 123 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:34,417 It's our own little slice of heaven, 124 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:38,671 you know, in between school madness and family chaos. 125 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,923 Oh, actually, I remember you guys doing that last year, 126 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,259 when Zach and I were headed out on our Wildwood vacation. 127 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,719 Where are you two headed this year? 128 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,179 Oh, well, he's going to be with family, 129 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,514 so it's just me here. 130 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,641 Alone. By myself. 131 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,226 Well, that sounds fun. Come on, Barb. 132 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:54,812 What in the world? 133 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:57,589 Looks like it's just you, me... and me. 134 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,112 [ "Carol of the Bells" plays ] 135 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,157 Hey. You leaving? Yeah. 136 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,617 You don't want to stick around to see 137 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:08,951 if Barbara drinks enough fun punch to do the heel-toe? 138 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,537 Oh, no, I definitely do. 139 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,914 But, um, I'm meeting Erika. 140 00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:15,041 So, I gotta go get ready. 141 00:05:15,065 --> 00:05:17,043 Oh. Leaving a school function early? 142 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:19,170 That's new. It is new. 143 00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:20,671 I am having a life outside of school. 144 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,298 Well, that's nice. 145 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,342 I'm also going out with some friends tonight. 146 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:25,968 Okay, cool. Well... 147 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:30,306 I hope you have a good time, and enjoy your break. 148 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,641 Yeah. You, too. 149 00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,684 Yeah. And I'll, um, see you next year? 150 00:05:33,708 --> 00:05:36,896 See you next year. Alright. 151 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,816 Yeah, I'm gonna miss Gregory, but I'm gonna miss everybody. 152 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,235 And that includes Gregory. 153 00:05:42,259 --> 00:05:45,613 And, you know, we've become really good friends this year. 154 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:50,326 And he's doing so well with teaching and dating Amber. 155 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,037 Okay, Mr. Johnson's gonna be here in a few. 156 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,331 We got food. We got... 157 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,374 Wine. Yeah. 158 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,959 We got... 159 00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,043 Jacob. 160 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,420 Did someone call Nine-Fun-Fun? 161 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:02,839 You didn't. I did. 162 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:03,965 I'm very grateful to you. 163 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,424 Ooh. Don't worry. 164 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:08,636 You will barely even notice I am here. 165 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:11,097 Did you get my dietary restrictions? 166 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,099 Melissa: I love Jacob. I do. 167 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,892 But, you know what? He's a lot like paint fumes. 168 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:18,271 Like, small doses... fine, even somewhat enjoyable. 169 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:20,106 But too much just gives you a headache. 170 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:22,817 Damn! 171 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,444 It's early, and there's already fine-ass men in the line. 172 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:28,155 Imagine how stupid fine the late ones gonna be. 173 00:06:28,179 --> 00:06:30,908 Okay, so, will they just, like, come up to us, or... 174 00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:32,159 Like, how will they know we're thirsty? 175 00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:33,619 Should we pant? Oh, no. 176 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,538 Not thirsty. Just cute. 177 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:36,789 Okay. Okay? 178 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:37,790 Okay. Trust me. 179 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,668 They'll know. Okay. 180 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,336 If you stop doing that booby dance. 181 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,462 Girl, save that for the club. 182 00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:44,255 Okay. Relax. 183 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,172 Yes. Relax. Yeah. 184 00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:46,674 Calm, cool, chill. 185 00:06:46,698 --> 00:06:48,009 Single, hot. Yeah. 186 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,011 Look, you left Teacher Janine at home. 187 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,013 Yeah. Tonight, we getting turnt. 188 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:53,139 That's right. 189 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:54,307 I'm Turnt Janine! 190 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,891 Don't have to make it an adjective. 191 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,042 Okay. Okay? We cool. 192 00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,937 Maurice: How y'all ladies doin' tonight? 193 00:06:59,961 --> 00:07:02,356 Ooh. Fine. Thank you. Mm. 194 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:04,900 - Janine? - Gregory? 195 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,736 S... J... Um, you're here. 196 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,987 I am here. 197 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,281 Sorry. Do you, um... 198 00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,033 You come here often, or... I'm sorry. 199 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,284 That sounds like a pickup line, 200 00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:14,619 but in this case, I'm being genuine. 201 00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:16,912 I mean, yeah, sometimes with friends. 202 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,372 - Hi. - You look... 203 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:19,498 Yeah. 204 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,208 You also look, um... 205 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,376 I'm so sorry. 206 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,794 I just was not expecting to see 207 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,046 anyone from work here to... 208 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,256 Ava? Ava's here? 209 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,966 Sorry. I don't speak line. 210 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:30,700 Ladies, don't look at them. 211 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:39,435 ♪ All of the other reindeer ♪ 212 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,062 ♪ Used to laugh and call him names ♪ 213 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,814 ♪ They never let poor Rudolph ♪ 214 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,317 ♪ Join in any reindeer games ♪ 215 00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:47,777 ♪ Then one foggy Christmas Eve... ♪ 216 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,820 Girl, what's going on? 217 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,739 You're giving very chaperone energy. 218 00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:54,241 Just, I was... 219 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,494 I was excited about coming out and, you know, letting loose, 220 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:59,580 but now my coworkers are here, and my boss. 221 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:02,375 You are a grown-ass woman. 222 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:05,878 It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. 223 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,256 Uh, and I'm certain your boss not gonna give a damn. 224 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:12,259 Mm. That's an impressive circle twerk. 225 00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,762 Oh. I think that's my ex-boyfriend over there. 226 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,222 I'm-a go say hi. 227 00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,598 That's your ex? 228 00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,266 Yeah, after I introduce myself, you know, 229 00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,768 start dating, get super clingy, 230 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,061 and go through his phone, he might be. 231 00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,271 Have fun. 232 00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:26,607 ♪ Then all the reindeer loved him ♪ 233 00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:29,443 ♪ As they shouted out with glee ♪ 234 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,654 ♪ "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer ♪ 235 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,364 ♪ You'll go down in history" ♪ 236 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,157 ♪ Forever ♪♪ 237 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,909 ♪ Now bring us some figgy pudding... ♪ Here you go. 238 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,578 Ugh, I'm sorry, but Zach has been singing this song nonstop, 239 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,205 and I just cannot anymore. 240 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,207 Okay, I get charity during the holidays, 241 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,834 but, Barb, this is Mother Teresa level. 242 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,168 Can we not? 243 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,503 Are you talking about Mother Teresa? 244 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:51,048 Did you know she was actually a huge racist? 245 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:55,177 Hey, thanks again for including me in your tradition. 246 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,263 And we are happy to have you, Jacob. 247 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,640 I'm sure you already know that Christmas was essentially 248 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,143 invented by Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol," right? 249 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:03,394 Maybe we can just focus on... 250 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:04,520 It's because of him that this time of year 251 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,689 has turned into such a materialist bacchanal. 252 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,941 Oh, that guy sounds really annoying. 253 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:11,110 Beyond. He took a great tradition 254 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,611 and turned it into something miserable. 255 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,697 Can't imagine why anybody would do something like that. 256 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,615 Me neither. Some people, you know? 257 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:17,491 Yeah, I sure do. 258 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:18,784 Melissa. 259 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,244 I'm agreeing with him. 260 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,746 Maurice: Hey, it looks like your coworker 261 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:22,997 needs somebody to talk to. 262 00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,248 Ah, no. I don't think I should. 263 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:26,500 We was just at work... I'm talking about me. 264 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,461 Yeah, she's super cute. Short, too. 265 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,546 Just my type. 266 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,715 But is she tall enough to ride all of the rides? 267 00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,633 Let's find out. Ah, no, no, Mo. 268 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,385 You don't want to do that. You don't. 269 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,928 She's... She's more of a relationship type. 270 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,013 And I know that's not what you're looking for. 271 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:40,890 Oh. Whatever. Yeah. 272 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:41,891 There's plenty of fish in the sea. 273 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,143 What about her? 274 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,312 She kinda tall. That's also my type. 275 00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:48,606 She can definitely ride all the rides. 276 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:50,316 I mean, you're gonna regret it. That's perfect. 277 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:52,568 No, no, no, no. Okay, Mo, come here. 278 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,446 Look, how about anybody other than my coworkers? 279 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:57,698 Anybody else. 280 00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,033 Whatever, man. Anybody else. 281 00:09:59,057 --> 00:10:01,744 Ooh, hey. See? 282 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,996 ♪ Make it bounce like her booty do, booty do ♪ 283 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,457 ♪ She make it bounce like her booty do, booty do ♪ 284 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,833 ♪ I told her bounce like her booty do ♪ 285 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:09,418 Man: Okay. ♪ I keep bread at all times ♪ 286 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,795 ♪ Pigeon food ♪ 287 00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,546 ♪ Comin' to the stage, shawty tryna see ♪ 288 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,173 ♪ Shawty make it pump like 35 on 3 ♪ 289 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:15,549 ♪ Nah'Tum'Bout ♪ 290 00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,468 ♪ Promissory cake for the D ♪ 291 00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:18,886 ♪ Big spenders wit' ya stash times three ♪ 292 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,429 ♪ Nah'Tum'Bout ♪ 293 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,639 ♪ Shawty use to dance on da weekend ♪ 294 00:10:21,663 --> 00:10:23,974 Hey. Hey. 295 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,810 How about half of Abbott Elementary being here? 296 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,311 Is Barbara here? Oh, my God, I'm gonna throw up. 297 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,271 No. No, no, no, no. She's not here. 298 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,481 There's too much sinning going on. 299 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,400 Oh. Just Ava alone is... 300 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,736 Yeah. 301 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,238 So, where's Amber? 302 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,198 Oh, she's at home. Oh, okay. 303 00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:42,118 Um... Uh, at her... her home, not my... We don't... 304 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,786 We don't live together. I'm... I'm... 305 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,621 I didn't think that you... I'm just having a boys' night out. 306 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,748 Okay. Yeah. With... Yo. 307 00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:49,416 Yeah, he's great. 308 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,043 ♪ I told her bounce like her booty do ♪ 309 00:10:51,067 --> 00:10:52,336 Yo, it seems like we're the only ones not, 310 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:55,172 like, dancing or mingling. 311 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,508 I know. I know. We are weird. 312 00:10:57,532 --> 00:11:00,052 Sh... Should we go out there and be normal together? 313 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,512 Yeah. 314 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,430 I enjoy the act of being normal. 315 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:04,765 I love it. Yeah. Then let's... let's be normal. 316 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:05,766 Okay. Yeah. Yeah. 317 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:06,809 Two people dancing. 318 00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:07,810 - Uh-huh. - Mingling. 319 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:08,894 Yeah. Being normal. 320 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,813 After you. Okay. 321 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,940 ♪ Drug dealer, thug or overseas ♪ 322 00:11:12,964 --> 00:11:15,693 All I'm saying is, like a lot of things, 323 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:18,028 Christmas trees are stolen pagan traditions. 324 00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,239 That doesn't bother you? Like... 325 00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,949 You know what? It really does. 326 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,743 I'm gonna head outside and see if I can't get over it. 327 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,203 What a lovely idea. 328 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:29,081 But... it's 30 degrees out. 329 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,357 My liquor coat will make it a toasty 42. 330 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:36,297 You know, while I got you, Rudolph... 331 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,715 Created by advertisers. 332 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:38,883 To sell what? 333 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,593 Red noses? 334 00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,035 Boy, you sound ridiculous. 335 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:47,892 ♪ Two bad broads looking like they down right ♪ 336 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:50,019 ♪ Baby, tell me, is you down right? ♪ 337 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,879 ♪ My squad, real stop, messing with them clowns right ♪ 338 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,400 Huh? What'd you say? 339 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:58,569 I didn't say anything. [ Laughs ] 340 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,136 Yeah, that was funny. 341 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,866 Do you like this song? 342 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,492 Oh, I don't dance to songs I don't like. 343 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,244 I don't want the DJ to get the wrong idea. 344 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,495 You know what? I don't like it that much, either. 345 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,206 [ Laughs ] Yeah, me, too. 346 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,124 [ Laughing ] Can I grab her real quick? 347 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,983 - Huh? - Thank you. 348 00:12:15,026 --> 00:12:16,212 Hey, girl. Hey. 349 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,047 You having fun? I am. 350 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,340 Doing a little step touch? 351 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,549 You know it. Getting freaky. 352 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,468 Okay. No! 353 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,345 Girl, you acting like you got a man at home, 354 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:26,639 and last time I checked, you don't. 355 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,515 I thought you was supposed to be turning up tonight. 356 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:29,725 Yeah, I know. 357 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:30,851 I'm just... I'm working up to it. 358 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,145 You've been working up to it for months. 359 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:34,605 Turn that ass up! 360 00:12:34,629 --> 00:12:35,814 Okay. I-I will. 361 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,733 You will what? 362 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:38,776 I need to hear you say it. 363 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,110 I will... Come on. Say it, baby girl. 364 00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:41,862 I will... You will what? 365 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,405 I will turn that ass up! 366 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,407 That's right. Now go ahead and make Juvenile proud. 367 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:46,975 Come on. Okay. 368 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:50,287 Hey. Hey. 369 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,622 Will you try the cake I brought? 370 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:52,957 No one has even touched it. 371 00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:54,833 You're ruining Christmas, man. Oh, come on. 372 00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,418 My cake can't be that bad, can it? 373 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,003 [ Laughs ] 374 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,256 Oh. I'm not talking about the cake. 375 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,259 Listen, I don't like Christmas either. 376 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,344 You know what tinsel can do to a vacuum? 377 00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:07,972 But you don't see me raining on everyone's parade. 378 00:13:07,996 --> 00:13:09,223 Oh, I think Barbara and Melissa 379 00:13:09,247 --> 00:13:11,558 enjoy my withering takes on, uh... 380 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:15,229 They chose frostbite over your withering takes. 381 00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,815 Yeah, I mean... okay, 382 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:21,026 I guess I could dial back the anti-Kringle rhetoric a bit. 383 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:22,319 You gotta do more than that. 384 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:24,446 This is over the top. What is your deal? 385 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:26,240 There is no deal, man. I... 386 00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,117 You can't lie to a janitor. 387 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,452 Plumbers, on the other hand... 388 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,663 [ Sighs ] 389 00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:35,499 Look, Christmas is not my favorite thing, okay? 390 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,751 I don't have a lot of good memories around it. 391 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,169 Well, you had a good chance to make a good 392 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,588 Christmas memory tonight, and you blew it. 393 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:43,799 This is the only time these ladies really get a break, 394 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:46,034 and you're grinching up the place. 395 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,972 You know what? 396 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,641 Night's not over yet. 397 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,518 [ Sighs ] 398 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:57,604 Finally get to enjoy this nasty ass cake in silence. 399 00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:02,651 Okay, next year, we'll go back to just you and me. 400 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,695 You sure you won't miss being visited 401 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:06,721 by the ghost of NPR's past? 402 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,283 Ooh! Ladies! Don't move! 403 00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:10,409 I'll be right back! 404 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,411 Or you can move. Just, uh, don't leave. 405 00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,204 [ Tires screech, horn honks ] 406 00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:16,540 Merry Christmas to you, too, buddy! 407 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:17,916 That boy! 408 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,586 Let's go back inside now. Ugh. 409 00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,005 ♪ Pull up in the back ♪ 410 00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,673 ♪ Jump out that coupe ♪ 411 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:25,883 - Ooh. - You good? 412 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,176 Yep. 413 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,094 You sure? Yeah. 414 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,387 ♪ I'm stating the facts ♪ 415 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,764 ♪ Better stomp that yard ♪ 416 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,974 ♪ Before you ever try to step to this cat ♪ 417 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,934 ♪ Yeah, want to ride for the team? ♪ 418 00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:36,935 ♪ She like, "Hell yeah" ♪ 419 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,562 What the... 420 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,315 Not my work husband grinding on my work nemesis. 421 00:14:41,339 --> 00:14:43,132 Pour me something cheap so I can spit it out. 422 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,781 Hit me again. 423 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,098 ♪ I don't really care if you knocking my style ♪ 424 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,244 ♪ I could just stare at those curves ♪ 425 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:56,455 ♪ Hanging on every word ♪ 426 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,957 ♪ You wear that thing that I like ♪ 427 00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,959 ♪ Bottle of Ace on some ice ♪ 428 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,169 ♪ Close as we ever been ♪ 429 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,879 Damn, Janine. 430 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,507 Why you can't move like that during step practice? 431 00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:08,092 Gregory, no notes. 432 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:11,053 You know, I'm-a go get some air. 433 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,138 Yeah, I'm-a... I'm-a join you. Okay. 434 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,790 Gregory, you still owe me a body shot. 435 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,377 Merry Christmas! 436 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,731 [ Tires screech, horn honks ] 437 00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:24,048 Seriously?! 438 00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,070 [ Door rattling ] 439 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,447 Oh, no, no, no, no! 440 00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,014 Oh, God. 441 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,828 Ooh! 442 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:36,954 What are you doing? 443 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,413 Saving Christmas! 444 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,815 Run! Run, Forrest, run! 445 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:44,962 No, wait! Wait, don't go yet. 446 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:47,548 Jacob, I'm sorry, but I can't hear one more story 447 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,925 about how Santa's the devil himself. 448 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,426 Well, actually, in some cultures... 449 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,553 You know, never mind. 450 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:56,431 Uh, you both love Christmas so much, 451 00:15:56,455 --> 00:16:00,561 and I have been nothing but a real grinch all night. 452 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:04,690 I come to you with gifts, as a token of my humble apology. 453 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:06,984 Tastykakes, candy... 454 00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:08,652 scratchers? Ooh. Yes. 455 00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:09,820 They were out of hot chocolate, 456 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,280 but I got room-temperature Yoohoo. 457 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,073 I will stick with the candy. 458 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:16,076 This has been, like, one of the greatest Christmas experiences 459 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,536 I've ever had. 460 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,037 Greatest? [ Scoffs ] 461 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,123 No wonder you hate Christmas so much. 462 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:27,296 ♪♪ 463 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,383 Look, the holidays are a tough time for me. 464 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,968 Okay? 465 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,221 I got a lot of bad memories around Christmas. 466 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:39,308 It's usually a lot of fighting, a lot of dysfunction. 467 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:43,645 So, I'm... I'm really sorry I ruined it for both of you. 468 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,856 Oh. 469 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,483 Thank you for sharing, Jacob. 470 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:49,943 And thank you for the gifts. 471 00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,612 That was very thoughtful. 472 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,615 And you see, Melissa, the spirit of Christmas 473 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,450 has worked its magic after all. 474 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:58,160 Yeah, and I won 3 bucks. 475 00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,727 Merry Jacob-mas. 476 00:17:01,479 --> 00:17:05,209 Whew! There's not a lot of ventilation in there. 477 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:06,543 Yeah, which is what you want when you're inhaling 478 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,586 a lot of secondhand smoke. 479 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,421 [ Both laugh ] 480 00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:12,531 Okay. [ Shivers ] 481 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,219 That was a fun dance. 482 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,303 That was fun. 483 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:17,429 Yeah. It was fun. Right? 484 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:19,389 Yeah. It's... I haven't done that in a while. 485 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,957 Yeah. Yeah. 486 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:26,355 Oh. Wow. 487 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,381 Snow? 488 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:31,735 Beautiful. 489 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:39,284 ♪♪ 490 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:46,833 ♪♪ 491 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:50,128 [ Cellphone vibrates ] 492 00:17:50,152 --> 00:17:52,923 Um... 493 00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,800 Is that Amber? 494 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,386 Yeah. Um, she decided to come out. 495 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,680 And I guess she's at a bar around the corner. 496 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,723 Oh. She wants me to meet her. 497 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,725 Yeah. 498 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:04,810 Yeah, no, for sure. 499 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,271 You should go. 500 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,898 Adiós, mi amigos. 501 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:11,858 Feliz cumpleaños. 502 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:13,277 That's Happy Birthday. 503 00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:14,319 I know. 504 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:17,138 I don't know why I'm speaking Spanish. 505 00:18:18,723 --> 00:18:20,141 You gonna be good if I, um... 506 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,021 Have a good break, Gregory. 507 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,750 [ Chuckles ] 508 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,335 Have a good break, Janine. 509 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:36,174 ♪♪ 510 00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:42,014 ♪♪ 511 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:44,874 Hey. Have you seen Gregory? 512 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:49,062 I'm sorry. Looks like you're in deep thought. 513 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,964 No, it's... Gregory just left. 514 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:56,903 Hey, you know what's crazy? 515 00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,322 It takes, like, an hour for a snowflake 516 00:18:58,346 --> 00:18:59,823 to go from cloud to ground. 517 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:02,284 That's cool. How'd you know that? 518 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:06,038 I drink a lot of Snapple, so I kinda know some facts. 519 00:19:06,062 --> 00:19:08,498 I figured you would like it 'cause it's science. 520 00:19:08,522 --> 00:19:11,335 Gregory told me about the egg drop you did for your students. 521 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,128 He told you about that? 522 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,047 I work at UPS, so it's kind of like 523 00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,632 an egg drop every day, you know? 524 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,301 We drop packages and... [ Laughs ] 525 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,886 I'm Maurice. 526 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,888 You're Janine, right? 527 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,163 Yeah. 528 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:30,979 Um, look, I was thinking I would come to Pittsburgh after all. 529 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:36,234 I cannot wait to eat endless ham and sing those carols. 530 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:39,529 Well, maybe I could just, like, hum along. 531 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,073 Me, too. Alright, great. 532 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:43,575 Bye. 533 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,912 ♪ Good tidings we bring ♪ 534 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:50,082 ♪ To you and your kin ♪ 535 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,166 ♪ Good tid... ♪ 536 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,251 Woman: Alright, bye, girl. 537 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,963 Ava: Bye, child. See you later. 538 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,507 What are you doing out here? 539 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:01,051 You know short people freeze the fastest. 540 00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,427 Where's your friend? 541 00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:05,263 She's otherwise occupied. 542 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,432 So, you're just standing out here by yourself? 543 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,767 Did you even meet anybody tonight, 544 00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:11,311 or did you waste all your time dancing with Gregory? 545 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,523 I actually did meet somebody. 546 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:18,193 But I think I'm gonna call it a night and go home, so... 547 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,195 Well, me and my boyfriend are going to another bar, 548 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,781 and you all dressed up and looking good. 549 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,367 God knows when that's gonna happen again, so... 550 00:20:25,391 --> 00:20:26,827 you're coming with us. 551 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,019 That actually sounds fun. Thank you. 552 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,041 Wait, you have a boyfriend? 553 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,626 You thought I was single? 554 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,901 [ Scoffs ] 555 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,174 So, who is this boyfriend of yours? 556 00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:42,342 And, like, how long has it been? And what's his name? 557 00:20:42,366 --> 00:20:43,593 Janine, I know we're not in school 558 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:45,762 and it's the holidays, but I'll still fire you. 559 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,931 Okay, just start with how long you've been dating him. 560 00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,808 Well, he's been dating me for five years, 561 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,500 but I've only been dating him for two. 562 00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:56,314 You ready, babe? 563 00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:57,816 Hope you're not too tired from all that dancing. 564 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,527 Just got a second wind. 565 00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:03,864 Are you three-time NBA champion Andre Iguodala? 566 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,866 Four-time. Oh. 567 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,118 You must be Janine. I am. 568 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,828 You're even shorter than Ava said. 569 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:10,787 Call me Iggy. 570 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,831 Don't call him anything. 571 00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:14,374 She's so funny. 572 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:15,500 [ Squeals ] 573 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,836 Wow. 574 00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,421 Oh. 575 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,840 Yeah, I'll just get in on the other side. 576 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,365 [ Laughs ] 577 00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:28,913 ...Captions by VITAC...