1
00:00:01,793 --> 00:00:03,170
[ Telephone ringing ]
2
00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:05,231
What was that? Nothing.
3
00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:08,818
Did I see your last name on it?
4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,904
It's a flier for my dad's
landscaping company.
5
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:14,490
Aww. Uh, is that your brother?
6
00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:15,950
No, I'm actually an only child,
7
00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:17,869
but apparently appearing
to be a family business
8
00:00:17,893 --> 00:00:19,454
helps bring in customers.
9
00:00:19,478 --> 00:00:22,749
That's... Sorry, so your...
Your dad, he hired an actor
10
00:00:22,773 --> 00:00:24,876
to play his son
instead of just asking you?
11
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,711
Yeah.
12
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:27,962
I think I'm confused.
13
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,964
You're not.
14
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:32,425
Well, he fine. Can I have your
fake brother's real number?
15
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,427
I'd like to climb
that family tree.
16
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,786
[ Giggles ]
17
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,684
[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
18
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:51,402
♪♪
19
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,613
Okay, so the writing prompt
is as follows...
20
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:57,200
You're gonna write a paragraph
about a cat with a silly job.
21
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,827
I know.
It's silly, but it's fun.
22
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:02,330
And then after we're finished,
you're gonna read them aloud...
23
00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,040
Um, sorry, Zara and Joya,
24
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,542
why are you guys
not in your assigned seats?
25
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,961
Well, she keeps taking all
the stickers off my folder
26
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,170
and then putting them on hers.
27
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,547
No, I'm not.
28
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,799
She keeps hitting me
and taking my pencil.
29
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,175
That was my pencil, dummy.
30
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,261
Oh! Okay. No.
31
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,554
That's enough.
32
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,390
We will treat each other
with kindness.
33
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,600
Now, please, get up and go
back to your regular seats.
34
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,769
You don't get to decide
where you sit.
35
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,938
So, Zara and Joya don't get
along the best,
36
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:29,566
and lately,
it's been getting worse.
37
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,985
Kids rub each other the wrong
way from time to time,
38
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,195
but it's okay, no problem.
39
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,697
I know how to handle
these things.
40
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,575
I've watched so many unlikely
animal friend videos
41
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,393
that I don't even know
what "unlikely" means anymore.
42
00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:46,332
I'll beat you up.
43
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:49,043
I'm pretty sure that was
"I'll beam you up."
44
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:51,629
Like, clearly, she's a Trekkie.
45
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:54,590
She wants to beam her up
on her ship.
46
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,199
Her friend-ship.
47
00:02:11,006 --> 00:02:13,192
My dad's in town
for a big landscaping job,
48
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,737
and he wanted to stop by
to see where I work.
49
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,989
Probably so he could tell me
what he finds unsatisfactory
50
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,199
about it to my face...
51
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,016
with love.
52
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,079
Dang, can you blink?
53
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,539
Is this one of those
"Stranger Things"?
54
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:30,335
What's your favorite song,
Gregory?! [ Laughs ]
55
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,253
Dad. Hello. Welcome to Abbott.
56
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,088
Thank you for having me, son.
57
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,923
I'm Lt. Colonel Martin Eddie.
58
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,532
Ten hut. At ease.
59
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,387
Here's my business card.
60
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:43,181
Let me know if you have
any landscaping needs.
61
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:44,682
Eddie Lawn and Care
can take care of any job
62
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:45,767
during any season.
63
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,560
Mm.
64
00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,729
Don't look at me like that.
He gave me his number.
65
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:51,254
Let me get you checked in,
and then I'll show you around.
66
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:55,985
Your Hotmail account
is very brave, Mr. Eddie.
67
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:59,012
I wouldn't trust a landscaper
with any other e-mail service.
68
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,098
[ Mouthing words ]
69
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,828
You doing your taxes?
70
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,330
You know you can claim
stray cats as dependents?
71
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,999
[ Scoffs ] Taxes.
People still doing that?
72
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,334
No, I'm trying to crunch
the numbers
73
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:13,044
on my fantasy football squad
to find out
74
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,004
why Mr. Johnson beat me.
75
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,631
It was that damn Garoppolo.
76
00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,366
That's the last time
I draft based on hotness.
77
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,346
What are you doing?
You already took that.
78
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,098
Looking for your fantasy
football team,
79
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:26,641
'cause it's trash.
80
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,226
Well, now you about
to face me in the finals,
81
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,685
and I do not respect my elders.
82
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,479
[ Whistling ]
83
00:03:31,503 --> 00:03:33,231
[ Chuckles ]
84
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,482
There's only two things
I'm scared of...
85
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,359
Facing Mr. Johnson
and having to kill my granny
86
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,610
during the zombie apocalypse.
87
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,445
You know, Mr. Johnson's
always the first
88
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,114
to claim a player
on the waiver wire.
89
00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,907
That's why he's been
cleaning up.
90
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:43,991
They should make him
the new Mr. Clean.
91
00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:45,284
He's already bald.
92
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:46,494
[ Scoffs ]
93
00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:49,497
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
94
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:50,832
Ooh.
95
00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,107
Double trouble.
96
00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:56,754
Dad, this is Melissa.
Melissa, this is my father.
97
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:58,947
You got a good end-season
management strategy?
98
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,074
I'm busy.
99
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,719
So, this is your lounge?
100
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:05,012
Yeah. Yeah.
101
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,472
You need some plants in here.
102
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:09,183
[ Inhales deeply ]
The air is stale.
103
00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,060
Uh, don't mind us.
104
00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:12,395
We're just green-thumbing
through.
105
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,772
"Better Hoods and Gardens,"
looking for ideas.
106
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,316
Dad, these are my coworkers,
Jacob and Barbara.
107
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,111
Mr. Eddie,
wonderful to meet you.
108
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,571
The caretakers of
the flourishing.
109
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,240
Abbott Elementary Garden
welcome you.
110
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,367
I could have sworn I saw
the plants getting protected
111
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,536
from frost using
cut two-liter bottles.
112
00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,163
A classic Eddie family method,
113
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:33,249
except someone improved
slightly on the design.
114
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,792
Y-You say "improved"?
115
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,295
Well, gotta give it up
for my girl Barb for that one.
116
00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:38,713
Well, that and Sprite.
117
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:40,423
Ah, no, no, Mr. Hill.
118
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,342
That was all you,
that ingenious invention.
119
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,886
No... No, it wasn't.
120
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,722
I thought you did it after you
put all that mulch in?
121
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,307
Huh?
122
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,767
Well, what about the cute
little labels
123
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,935
letting us know
what everything is?
124
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,045
Not me. I don't know
how to write in cursive.
125
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,611
Gregory. Hmm?
126
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,887
Have you been secretly
tending to the garden?
127
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:06,908
Yes.
128
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,034
For how long? [ Gasps ]
129
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:10,328
The entire time.
130
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,079
But I planted the daffodils.
131
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,415
You did. Just wrong.
132
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,250
They were crowding each other
out, so I had to replant them.
133
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,586
Look at you,
showing a little initiative.
134
00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,714
Well... Well, what about
the collard greens I planted?
135
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,842
That was spinach, which is not
an easy mistake to make.
136
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:26,803
Not tolerating incompetence.
137
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,179
I like that.
138
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,263
Thank you, Dad.
139
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,265
Gregory, why would you
sow secretly?
140
00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:33,392
Why would you prune privately?
141
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:36,145
Why would you
cull clandestinely?
142
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,231
Hidden hoe-ing and whatnot?
Are you done?
143
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:40,566
Barbara, hit him one more time.
144
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:43,510
Why would you be tight-lipped
about tilling?
145
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,240
Everything we planted was a lie?
146
00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:48,699
No, no, no, no.
147
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,202
Some of those, um,
weeds were yours.
148
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:55,039
Oh. So, you just silly, huh?
149
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,416
I knew nothing could keep you
out of the dirt.
150
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,733
[ Chuckles ]
151
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,550
And he has been secretly
tending the garden
152
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,761
this whole time,
like some sort of
153
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,137
plant Santa Claus.
154
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:13,266
Like a Planta Claus.
155
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,142
Uh, Janine, there's
a skirmish developing
156
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,269
that needs your attention.
157
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,020
Yes, uh, Zara and Joya?
158
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,772
I am aware. It's in process.
159
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,107
They weren't getting
along earlier,
160
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,359
so I made them buddies
for the week.
161
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,444
Quality time will nurture
understanding,
162
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,905
and, you know, it'll lead
to a beautiful,
163
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,575
blossoming flower
of a friendship.
164
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,410
I say "flower" because we were
talking about the garden.
165
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,496
I thought it was because
you're dressed like a peony.
166
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,373
Anyway, trust the process.
167
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,041
Before you know it,
those two will be inseparable,
168
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:43,004
like peas and pods and...
169
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:44,005
[ Grunts ]
170
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,006
[ Child and Janine gasp ]
171
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,592
Dang! You got milked!
172
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:49,719
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Nope, nope, nope! Nope!
173
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,928
No, no.
174
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,680
Yeah, just trust the process.
175
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:54,289
[ Children grunting
and arguing ]
176
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,145
So, I heard one of your kids
got hit in a milk-by.
177
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:01,314
Just kicking the dust
off their friendship.
178
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,857
I don't think they like
each other.
179
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,275
Okay, guys, you know what?
180
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,985
These kids should be able
to get along,
181
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,612
and I can get them there.
182
00:07:07,636 --> 00:07:09,989
Yes. Look, my mom and sister
used to fight all the time,
183
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,490
and I would mediate.
184
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,701
I was both the crisis negotiator
and the hostage.
185
00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,244
I was Jack Bauer and Jack Bauer.
186
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,954
And now they're closer
than ever.
187
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:19,206
Doesn't your sister live
in Colorado?
188
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,208
Physically, but emotionally,
she never left.
189
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,710
I don't know. Some people
just hate each other,
190
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:24,211
and that's fine.
191
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:26,255
That's right. I don't like
Janine, and it's going great.
192
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,673
Well, I'm a pacifist.
193
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,259
You mess with me, I'm-a pass
a fist across your face.
194
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,178
Well, I don't hate anyone.
195
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,764
Except for
Jimmy Dontel-Anderson.
196
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,223
Goodnight. Yeah, in sixth grade,
197
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,350
he threw a handful
of grapes at me
198
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,602
while I was doing my solo
in "Moulin Rouge Jr."
199
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,104
One went right into my mouth,
straight down my throat,
200
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,732
and I had to give myself
the Heimlich.
201
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:46,609
Our chorus teacher didn't even
stop playing.
202
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,444
She just...
203
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,095
You know, the show must go on.
204
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,575
Okay, Sophia, you're up to read
the family tree report.
205
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,995
Melissa, I have something
urgent to discuss with you.
206
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,456
Be right back. What's going on?
207
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,291
It's about the fantasy football
championships.
208
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,542
Why'd I even ask?
209
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,044
At the end of his sermon,
I heard my pastor
210
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:07,254
say that Christian McCaffrey
might not play this weekend.
211
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,506
Then he said some nonsense
about gambling
212
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,508
not being of the Lord,
but I was on my way out.
213
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:12,802
McCaffrey is Mr. Johnson's
best player.
214
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,221
Exactly. And if I pick up
his backup first,
215
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,639
like a Black woman
on "The Voice,"
216
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:17,890
he has no chance of winning.
217
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,059
Waiver wire opens at 2:00.
You distract him,
218
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,227
and then I'll pick up
McCaffrey's backup.
219
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:23,020
Uh-huh. What's in it for me?
220
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,522
4% of my fantasy winnings.
221
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,774
20%, and your shelf
in the fridge.
222
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:29,008
Damn. That's where I keep
my various mustards.
223
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,449
The Buddy System was too
surface-level for Joya and Zara.
224
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,993
They need to know what's going
on internally with each other,
225
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,829
truly empathize.
226
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:42,456
So, I'm having them do a project
where they trace one another
227
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,958
and then fill it in
with all the things
228
00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,167
that make their partner special.
229
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,211
So... Yeah.
230
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,255
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
231
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,589
It looks like fun.
232
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,049
I wish somebody would trace me.
233
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,552
I think I'd be like 95%
"Family Matters" re-runs
234
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,805
and then 5% Dunkaroos.
235
00:08:57,829 --> 00:09:01,475
In conclusion, it was very nice
getting to know Quagmire.
236
00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:03,102
It's Quahir.
237
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,770
Okay. Alright, guys.
That's good.
238
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,981
[ Applause ]
239
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,816
Alright, um, you know what?
240
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,528
Let's have Joya and Zara
go next.
241
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,095
Come on up.
242
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,833
Here you can see that Joya
is full of poop,
243
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:28,586
not just where
you expect poop to be...
244
00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,547
Everywhere,
especially her big head.
245
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,965
Alright, you know what, Zara?
246
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,133
That was not the assignment.
247
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:37,511
Unlike Zara, I actually
did the assignment.
248
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:41,974
You can see she likes gum,
Gucci flip flops, and Roblox.
249
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:43,350
Okay, now, that was actually
what I was...
250
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,435
I'm not done.
251
00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,353
I want to talk
about the outside, too.
252
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:50,483
Smelly breath, smelly farts,
smelly pits,
253
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,777
because she stinks.
254
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,153
Whoa!
255
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:56,655
You know what?
That's the final straw.
256
00:09:56,679 --> 00:09:59,158
Do you two want to watch
"Toy Story" tomorrow?
257
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,619
Which one? I can't do 3 again.
258
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,412
Alright, well, you're not
gonna be watching any of them
259
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,623
unless you guys find a way
to settle this.
260
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,708
If you're mature enough
to make the graphic drawings,
261
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:09,877
then you're mature enough
to work this out.
262
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:13,297
Find a solution or you'll be
in the library for Movie Friday.
263
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:14,924
And we are watching
the first "Toy Story."
264
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,509
The third one makes me cry.
265
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:18,701
So, get back to your seats,
please. Thank you.
266
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,916
[ Cellphone vibrating ]
267
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,604
Oh, hey, Pop. I mean, uh, sir.
268
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,980
Yeah, you're funny.
269
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,190
I just wanted to tell you
how proud I was
270
00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,900
of your little gardening method.
271
00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,527
Sorry? Don't be.
272
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,986
Frankly, I'm quite impressed
you continued
273
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,322
our landscaping legacy.
274
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,866
Well, I couldn't let
those plants just die.
275
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,536
If you're available,
come help me out on this job.
276
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,579
Earn some extra cash,
maybe take that Amber girl
277
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,541
out on a proper date
to a French restaurant
278
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,085
that you can't pronounce.
279
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,128
You want my input?
280
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,671
Oui, oui.
281
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:56,173
Uh, o-okay. Yeah, sure.
282
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,300
I'll take it.
[ Cellphone chimes ]
283
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,720
So, you're taking
your gardening skills
284
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,764
out into the broad daylight,
285
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,516
Mr. "What We Do In The Shadows"?
286
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:06,684
It's just for
a little extra cash.
287
00:11:06,708 --> 00:11:07,417
Mm.
288
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:13,440
You look like you're trying
to mute a smile.
289
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:14,984
I am?
290
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,445
Mm-hmm.
291
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:20,239
I don't think my dad's
ever asked for my input
292
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:21,448
on anything before,
except for that time
293
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:23,183
when he asked
if I thought I was being funny.
294
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:26,579
You caught me.
295
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,289
I'm happy.
296
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,707
I think I'm experiencing
what they refer to
297
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:31,983
as Black boy joy,
even though I am a man.
298
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,256
You see that?
They're getting along.
299
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,424
I haven't had a problem
the entire morning.
300
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,176
Hey!
301
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,511
Are you the girl
I'm supposed to beat up?
302
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,846
You a little small
for an eighth grader,
303
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,098
but I don't discriminate.
304
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,391
Hey.
305
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,559
There she is.
306
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,769
That's the girl who said
she's gonna beat you up.
307
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,730
I heard your sister been saying
that my sister's full of poop.
308
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:54,064
Wait, no one's been saying
anyone is...
309
00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,858
And I heard your sister's been
saying my sister's smelly.
310
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,651
Well, smells like your
whole family smelling smelly.
311
00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,403
Fight!
312
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,305
[ Children shouting ]
313
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,537
Come at me, sis!
No, I ain't scared!
314
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,288
And don't hide behind
that eighth grader!
315
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,331
She can't help you!
316
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,582
Okay, I am a full grown woman,
317
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:12,541
and there is a better way
to handle this, girls.
318
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:13,542
Below the belt, Keke!
319
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:16,295
Smash her like
she smashed my milk!
320
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,255
Stop! You guys!
Yeah, Ava, get them.
321
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,840
Only in America. [ Laughs ]
322
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,884
Hey, hey, relax.
This is designer.
323
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:26,722
What in the Earth, Wind,
and Fire is going on here?
324
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,349
Yeah, I don't know.
325
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:31,060
Zara, Joya, I asked you guys
to handle this
326
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,519
and you said you came
to an agreement.
327
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,004
Yeah, we agreed that our sisters
would fight each other.
328
00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:40,069
Shame to see my queens fight.
329
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,762
But I thought Ms. Teagues
was gonna get molly-whopped.
330
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,515
[ Melissa gasps ]
331
00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,994
Hey, Tasia, come here.
332
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,996
Can you do Ms. Schemmenti
a favor?
333
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,749
Can you take this tub of dirty
paint water and empty it out
334
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,459
in the sink in the bathroom
at the end of the hall?
335
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:57,277
I doubt it, but I'll try.
336
00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:02,323
Oh.
337
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:06,679
Operation Splash Interference
is in effect.
338
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:10,432
Ms. Schemmenti,
I spilled all over the bathroom.
339
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,558
I'm sorry.
340
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,418
You did great, kid.
341
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:22,695
Ava: Attention Abbott Custodian,
A. K. A. Mr. Johnson.
342
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,739
We have a drop and mop.
Drop what you're doing and mop.
343
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,992
Report to the girls' bathroom
at the east end hallway,
344
00:13:28,016 --> 00:13:30,327
ASAPington.
345
00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,912
I haven't seen a mess like this
346
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,147
since the Playboy Mansion
in '86.
347
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,130
Okay, everybody knows
that bathroom is a dead zone
348
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,090
for cell service,
and he still got an Obama phone.
349
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,466
Okay, well, hurry up,
because it's 2:00
350
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,260
and he mops at a rate
of 4 SPMs...
351
00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,012
Squeegees per minute.
352
00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,138
What the... What's the matter?
353
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,222
Did you get him? He's gone.
354
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:51,265
He picked up the backup.
355
00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,975
But the waiver wire just opened
356
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:54,685
and he's in the middle
of cell hell.
357
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,395
Well, that old man's mop bucket
must have Ethernet,
358
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,479
because he got him.
359
00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,398
[ Crying ]
360
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,066
[ Inhales deeply ]
361
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,009
There's no crying
in fantasy football.
362
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,197
Martin: Ground's still
a bit frozen.
363
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,807
Make sure you use that good
Eddie musculature I gave you.
364
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,287
[ Chuckles ]
Don't work so hard, son.
365
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,621
You know what happened
to John Henry.
366
00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:15,938
[ Chuckles ]
367
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,462
You know, uh, I've been
giving it some thought.
368
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,548
What if I added an "and son"
to Eddie Lawn and Care?
369
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,091
Eddie and Son and Lawn and Care?
370
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,926
No.
371
00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:30,161
Eddie and Son Lawn Care.
372
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:36,435
What about your, uh,
your fake son from the flier?
373
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:37,853
Great model.
374
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,937
Terrible gardener.
375
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,065
[ Chuckles ]
What are you trying to say, Dad?
376
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,107
I mean, we've talked about me
working for you.
377
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,776
You tell me to do something,
I do it,
378
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,611
you say, "Nope, not like that."
379
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,363
I then correct it, and you go,
"No, that's still not it."
380
00:14:48,387 --> 00:14:50,407
Then you say, "Fine,
I'll just do it myself."
381
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,367
Then I watch you do
exactly what I did,
382
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,578
and then you say,
"What an improvement."
383
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,247
I'm not asking you
to work for me.
384
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,107
I'm asking you to work with me.
385
00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,044
Why now?
386
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,504
Look, I'm trying to get into
business with you,
387
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,090
and eventually, I'm gonna retire
and leave it to you,
388
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,425
but first, I just needed to know
you could carry your own weight,
389
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,177
and you can.
390
00:15:10,201 --> 00:15:11,536
I've never seen you
more confident.
391
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,103
Ooh.
392
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,564
What a wonderful drawing of a...
A poop head.
393
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,691
Yeah. My fighting students.
394
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,235
Oh.
395
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,278
Well, I see that you signed up
for my office hour.
396
00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,404
Oh, yeah, yeah.
397
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,097
So, I'll see you in a week
and a half.
398
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,576
And what do you know?
399
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,161
Just like that,
a spot opened up.
400
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:39,414
Hmm.
401
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:41,250
Okay.
402
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,461
Alright, so, I'm upset
with myself
403
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,422
about how things turned out
with Zara and Joya.
404
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:50,467
I feel like all of my solutions
just created more problems.
405
00:15:50,491 --> 00:15:52,719
I feel like I really got my math
wrong with this one.
406
00:15:52,743 --> 00:15:55,514
Janine, this isn't math.
407
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:58,767
The two of them just don't
enjoy each other's company.
408
00:15:58,791 --> 00:15:59,977
What's wrong with that?
409
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:03,522
I'm... [ Sighs ] I'm not sure.
410
00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:06,316
Just people not getting along,
it makes me uncomfortable.
411
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:10,195
Well, have you reflected
on why that is?
412
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,281
No, but I have tried journaling.
413
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:13,490
Janine, has there ever been
a time
414
00:16:13,514 --> 00:16:17,244
where you've had
to sit with conflict?
415
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,746
Well, yeah, my mom used to do
these things
416
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:22,624
that would really upset
my sister,
417
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,670
and, you know, they kind of
would get into their squabbles,
418
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:30,424
and I would get put in
the middle of their squabbles,
419
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:32,217
and they would want me
to choose sides,
420
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,386
and I just wanted it to stop.
421
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,264
Mm. It was awful.
422
00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,600
Even now, when my sister
comes to visit,
423
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,435
she doesn't want my mom to know.
424
00:16:41,459 --> 00:16:44,396
And if she does,
they get all squabbly.
425
00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:47,649
And as difficult as that sounds,
I have to tell you,
426
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:49,234
this is not about them.
427
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:50,694
This is about you.
428
00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:54,698
You need to become comfortable
being uncomfortable.
429
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:58,243
Sometimes, two people just
don't like each other,
430
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:01,163
like me and that usher
at church.
431
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,875
I'll sit
where I want to sit. Mm.
432
00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:06,418
Hey, Barbara? Hmm?
433
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,170
See you next week
for office hour?
434
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,630
Wait a minute,
I thought this was...
435
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:12,507
[ Chuckles ] Oh, Barbara.
I'm gonna have a ton of problems
436
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,800
by then, too.
437
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:17,179
Janine, don't make me call
a 7th grader to beat you up.
438
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,931
[ Laughs ] Not funny.
439
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:21,850
Now that we have our jar
and our wet paper towel,
440
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:22,976
we're gonna take the seed
441
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,728
and put it inside
the wet paper towel
442
00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,356
so that it can germinate
inside the jar.
443
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,650
But remember that the seeds
are very fragile,
444
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:32,152
so we have to take
extra special care
445
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,695
to make sure that they can grow.
446
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:35,930
Look, Mr. Eddie, I'm Jason.
447
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,494
Okay. Now, Jordan Peele
that off your face
448
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,704
so we can go through
the steps of germination.
449
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,332
Wow, look at you.
450
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:46,833
Got your fingers in the mud
with your pops
451
00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,943
and it inspired you
to embrace your roots.
452
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,382
It went well with your dad,
though?
453
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,259
He actually asked me
to run the company with him.
454
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:58,011
Mama told me
there'd be days like this.
455
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,012
I'm not leaving Abbott, Jacob.
456
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:01,765
I said no.
457
00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,183
Obviously. Yeah.
458
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,435
No, I never...
I never thought you would.
459
00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:08,105
Actually, he, uh...
Noticed how confident I seemed,
460
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,523
and I said it's because
I'm at Abbott.
461
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,775
First time I've been at a place
that I love,
462
00:18:11,799 --> 00:18:13,026
doing something that I love.
463
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,111
Yeah, with people that you love?
464
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,445
No, I didn't say that.
465
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,406
But this job
did give me confidence.
466
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,865
You know, I never liked
gardening before,
467
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:21,618
but I like doing it here.
468
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,412
Well, I, for one,
am happy to know
469
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,746
that we will be
gardening together.
470
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,999
Green thumb buddies.
471
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:29,835
Mr. Eddie,
I accidentally dropped my seed
472
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,546
into my mouth and then
I accidentally ate it.
473
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:35,215
Am I going to have a lemon tree
grow inside my belly?
474
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,341
Well, let's think about it.
475
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:38,343
Did you also swallow
a wet paper towel?
476
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,785
Yes.
477
00:18:42,330 --> 00:18:44,433
Alright, let's go to the nurse.
478
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,060
[ "You've Got a Friend in Me"
playing ]
479
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,062
♪ You've got a friend in me ♪
480
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,440
♪♪
481
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,233
♪ You've got a friend in me ♪
482
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,776
♪♪
483
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,404
Is it hard when people I care
about don't like each other?
484
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,531
Of course. If I had it my way,
Woody and Buzz
485
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:01,450
would have started out friends,
yeah.
486
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:02,951
But I have to learn to accept
487
00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,621
that what my students
are feeling is real.
488
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:09,124
'Cause this is real life
and not Pixar.
489
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,917
♪ ...rough ahead ♪
490
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,337
♪ And you're miles and miles
from your nice, warm bed ♪
491
00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:15,589
Oh.
492
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:18,216
♪ You just remember
what your old pal said ♪
493
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:24,139
♪ You've got a friend in me ♪
494
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,724
[ Laughs ]
495
00:19:25,748 --> 00:19:27,351
♪ Just reme... ♪
I don't...
496
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,644
I don't know
the rest of the lyrics.
497
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,979
See ya. Whoa.
498
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,189
Uh, what are you two doing here?
499
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,565
We're here to pick up
our sisters.
500
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,275
Oh.
501
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,195
Okay, so you just happened
to be here at the same time,
502
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,114
and you're getting along very...
Very cordial?
503
00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,783
Cordial? Nah, we friends.
504
00:19:42,807 --> 00:19:44,201
Yeah. Friends?
505
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:46,745
Yeah. After you stopped us from
fighting, we got to talking.
506
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,747
Seems like we have
some common interests.
507
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,207
We both love butterflies.
508
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,166
Aww.
509
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,834
And beating people up.
510
00:19:52,858 --> 00:19:55,295
Okay. Well, you know what?
511
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:56,630
That's wonderful, girls.
512
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,256
Really. It is.
513
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,257
Have a good night, okay?
514
00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,425
You, too. Bye.
515
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:02,952
Bye.
516
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,543
[ Sighs ]
517
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,315
[ Line ringing ]
518
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,150
Ayesha: Hey, it's Ayesha.
You know what to do.
519
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,151
[ Voicemail beeps ]
520
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,695
Hey, Ayesha.
521
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,072
It's me. Um...
522
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,907
I was wondering if
you were gonna still come visit,
523
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:26,952
because I think you should.
524
00:20:26,976 --> 00:20:28,370
And don't worry.
525
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:29,705
I won't tell Mom.
526
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,540
I promise.
527
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:35,001
So, just give me a call back.
528
00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,569
Okay.
529
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:38,904
[ Click ]
530
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,219
The champ is here. [ Laughs ]
531
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,388
Start calling me Sir Johnson,
532
00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,516
as I have been knighted
by the Queen of Trash herself,
533
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:54,521
Ava's fantasy football roster.
Oh!
534
00:20:54,545 --> 00:20:56,815
You only won 'cause you got on
the waiver wire before I could.
535
00:20:56,839 --> 00:20:58,275
Which, by the way,
how is that even possible?
536
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,693
Didn't you have a spill
to clean up?
537
00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:02,154
[ Laughing ]
Yeah, on aisle three-peat.
538
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,614
Hey, here's your cut. What?!
539
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,283
You're helping him out?
540
00:21:06,307 --> 00:21:08,201
You were the one jumping
on the waiver wire.
541
00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:10,829
Yeah, I thought you had
a moral objection to the NFL.
542
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,373
And while those
moral objections still stand,
543
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,691
I will do anything
to see my man smile.
544
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:22,948
[ Blows, imitates bird cawing ]
545
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,579
- - Captions by VITAC...