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Field trip worksheets!
Hot off the press!
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00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,631
What in the hot hell is this?
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00:00:05,631 --> 00:00:08,133
Today is thee day... two E's...
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00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,093
that we go to
Smith Memorial Playground.
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We're not gonna be
the only school there,
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00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,430
but we did snag
the last reservations.
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And I made worksheets
so that it can be educational.
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This is gonna be,
like, the best field trip ever.
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Jacob, nobody needs this.
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You pulled off a field trip
with no money and no help.
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Baby, relax.
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Yeah, we're going to the park.
Kids don't wanna work.
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Mnh-mnh. We don't wanna work.
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Ava definitely don't wanna work.
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I never do.
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And today, I get to not work
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while lounging in my air chair.
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I love furniture that rhymes.
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Yeah, so knock it off
with the worksheets
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or you're gonna ruin this trip.
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Ah! Morton.
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For all your flaws,
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I know you appreciate
the value of education.
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Thanks, buddy.
You're a lifesaver.
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[ Maker's "Hold'em" playing ]
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♪
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One for you.
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Oh, here we go.
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Thank you. Mm-hmm.
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I'll see you. Okay.
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Gregory.
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I just witnessed
that interaction
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between you and Janine.
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Putting on her coat for her
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was practically pornographic.
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00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:33,176
What's going on, man?
Am I... Did I miss something?
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I'm gonna tell her
how I feel. Yay!
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When I find the
exact right time. Boo!
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Look, I want it to go well
this time.
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Wait. Is there a chance
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00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,227
you might do it
on the field trip?
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When the time is right,
the time is right.
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Whenever that may be.
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Oh. On my field trip.
[ Chuckles ]
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That's a little like proposing
at somebody else's wedding,
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but, you know, lucky for you,
I'm not that kind of bride.
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[ Sighs ]
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None of the kids
want to sit with me.
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You confiscate one water balloon
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and you are persona non grata
around here.
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00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,874
Uh, well, as much as
I love a bus buddy,
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maybe there's another open seat
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you'd prefer to sit in.
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What are you talking about?
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Let's just say a little birdie
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[coughs] named Gregory
told me that
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he may have some very
serious feelings for you.
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Jacob, I need you to tell me
the truth right now.
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Did Gregory say that,
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or do you have a bird
named Gregory?
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My bird's name is Peter,
and you would know that
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if you ever came over
to meet her.
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Basically... Janine.
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Just admit it.
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You still like him, right?
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Maybe.
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Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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But I already tried to tell him
at the beginning of the year.
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Okay, well, you were
different people then.
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We all were.
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I was in a relationship
and unhappy.
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And now look at me.
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I'm... I'm single and...
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you know, I'm fine.
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Just... [ Clears throat ]
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Just go talk to him. Trust me.
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Okay.
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Hey. Oh.
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Come here often? [ Chuckles ]
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About once a year.
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Me too. Me too.
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These field trips,
they usually end in disaster.
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It's crazy.
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Well, maybe this year's
field trip
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can break our unlucky streak.
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[ School bus engine starts ]
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Next stop... the park!
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Whoo!
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Nice to finally have
some peace and quiet, huh?
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In my head, things are
as loud as ever.
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With no kids around,
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I can finally take care
of my to-do list.
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But most pressing of all?
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All these damn keys
weighing my pants down.
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I got duplicates,
triplicates, four...
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plicates.
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My belt loops are rated
50 pounds or less
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and suspenders are for freaks.
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00:03:52,357 --> 00:03:54,401
And if you think
the seesaw is cool,
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you should check out
the fun facts section of your...
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Okay, no one's listening.
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00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,617
My air chair needs air,
and there's no wind.
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00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:03,994
Try running north to south.
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00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,413
Ms. Schemmenti! A kid pushed me!
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00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:08,415
Oh, no. Are you okay, kiddo?
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Which kid? That kid over there
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from the other school.
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Oh. Oh.
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Hey. How you doing?
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So, um, I just was made
to understand
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that there was
some sort of incident
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where your kid pushed my kid.
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00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,098
Well, actually, I was told that
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your student
shoved my student first, so...
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Oh. Well, that's unfortunate.
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Why don't we just have
them apologize to each other?
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Okay. W... Sure.
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I mean, I guess that's
the right thing to do,
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no matter who shoved
the other one first. Go ahead.
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Sorry. Sorry.
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Huh? Yeah.
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[ Chuckles ]
It's gonna be a great day.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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Melissa: Oh, yeah,
it can get like that
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between kids
on the playground sometimes.
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Especially right before
snack time.
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It's like a less violent version
of the "Squid Game."
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Gotta tell you,
I'm not loving the 'tude
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coming off that teacher, though.
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00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,219
Alex, be careful.
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Your shoes are untied!
Oh! [ Thuds ]
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And he's down. I got Band-Aids.
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00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:06,139
Oh, no, he's back up.
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00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,265
It's alright.
He's running it off.
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That's good.
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We did a pretty good job of
getting him to like school.
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"Like" is a strong word,
but he's here.
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What kid would miss
field trip day?
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Uh, well... actually,
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I hated field trips as a kid.
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It meant missing class.
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Oh, right.
I forgot you're a nerd.
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00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,537
You sing Randy Newman songs
to your plants,
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so who's the nerd, really?
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[ Chuckles ] You
heard that? Yeah.
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[ Both laugh ]
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Do you mind, um,
taking a picture
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00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,715
of me with my kids
in the background?
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I barely have any
from the year, so...
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Right. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. Thank you.
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00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,471
Okay, ready?
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00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:47,889
[ Cellphone chimes ]
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[ Camera shutter clicking ]
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Janine: Got it?
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Yeah. Yeah?
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Thank you.
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00:06:00,860 --> 00:06:03,029
Um...
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00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,614
Hey, are you a swinger?
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00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,157
What?
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00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:07,909
Do you want to go on the swings?
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00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,286
Oh, yes. Yeah.
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00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,162
I swing on the swings. Swings.
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00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,581
Yeah. Do you want to do them?
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00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,540
The swings? Yeah.
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Okay.
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00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:16,918
Melissa: Look at 'em.
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Those Liberty kids
keep cutting our kids in line.
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Oh. It's just kids being kids.
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See, my student Torian,
he's right up front.
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Nobody's cutting...
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Ooh, just wait a
minute now. Hey.
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Hold on a second. Okay, let's...
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let's not let this ruin
my big day.
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Okay, but you didn't see
what happened
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between me and one of
the Liberty teachers earlier.
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I am sensing a pattern here.
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00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,646
Melissa. Hmm?
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00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,898
I'm going to need some muscle
and a sharp tongue.
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Well, let's go then. Come on.
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[ Sighs ] Hey.
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00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,777
Nice to see you again. Listen.
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Your kids are
on strike two, okay?
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'Cause they seem to keep
cutting our kids in line.
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What? That is so interesting
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because, see,
our kids are saying
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that your kids are hogging
all the saddle spinners.
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So, I don't know.
Teach your kids to share.
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[ Chuckles ]
No need to get snippy here.
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Oh, no.
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00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,630
I see where
these Liberty students
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00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:02,797
get their manners. Mm-hmm.
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What was that? Nothing.
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00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:05,467
Why don't you watch
your students?
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00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,052
Why don't you, huh?
Yeah, we just,
195
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,595
you know,
want to keep things fair.
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00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,721
Melissa: All right?
Alright, yeah, well, you know,
197
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,097
life's not fair. Right?
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00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,849
You have to teach at
Abbott, so... [ Snickers ]
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00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,059
Excuse you? The audacity!
200
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:16,186
No, we get to teach at Abbott.
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00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,855
Huh. Yeah, I get to
be lactose intolerant.
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00:07:18,855 --> 00:07:20,607
[ Barbara sighs ]
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00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,567
Jacob: She was being
rude. I get it now. Thank you.
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00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,111
Okay. I shouldn't punch
someone in the park, right? No.
205
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,699
Liberty everywhere you look.
206
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:30,742
Do they not understand the
meaning of the word "public"?
207
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:32,077
I'm riled up.
208
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,578
You know, I thought
if anyone was gonna ruin
209
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,081
this field trip for the kids,
it was gonna be you.
210
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,999
Hey, Morton.
Are your students having
211
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,876
any trouble with
these Liberty kids today?
212
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,586
I honestly have no idea.
213
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,338
I've been angrily texting
my ex-wife all morning.
214
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,215
She thinks she should
get the grill.
215
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,800
What's a woman gonna
do with a grill?
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00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,426
You're scum.
217
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,388
Listen, these Liberty teachers
must be stopped.
218
00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,806
Ava: [ Scoffs ]
Y'all need to let it go.
219
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,516
It's not that deep.
220
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,059
I'm trying to listen to
an oral history
221
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,477
on the history
of oral histories,
222
00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:59,354
and I can't hear it
over all y'all pettiness.
223
00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:00,563
Oh.
224
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,981
Liberty Teacher: Little help?
225
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:04,109
Hey, uh, that's our ball.
Toss it back.
226
00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:05,443
Just as far as you can.
227
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,779
I don't want you
to hurt yourself.
228
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:10,448
It has got to be done.
229
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:14,285
- Whoa!
- Come on.
230
00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:16,121
Seriously? Melissa: Slow down.
231
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,790
You don't want to hurt yourself.
232
00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:20,333
[ Laughs ]
233
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,168
How have we
not talked about this?
234
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,503
We haven't? No.
235
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,004
Yeah, my favorite color
is green.
236
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,339
I'm a green guy. Wow.
237
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,299
Green for your green
thumb? Mm-hmm.
238
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,301
Okay. And my favorite color
is blue.
239
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,303
Uh-huh. No synthetic, though.
240
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,222
Okay. You know, blue,
like, found in nature.
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00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,891
Like fish or Smurfs.
242
00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,977
Can we get a turn?
243
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,353
Yeah. Sorry. Oh, yeah.
244
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,396
Okay.
245
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,777
Will only be a while.
246
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,199
You know, if you could go
faster, that would be great.
247
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,577
I'm all the way down
to no excuses.
248
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,413
Oh. Ugh.
249
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,331
Bug.
250
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,296
Take your time and be safe.
251
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,089
You want to keep your momentum
going so you don't get stuck.
252
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,383
You know what? A little bit of
help here, please. Oh. Alright.
253
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,427
Here you go. Okay.
254
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,304
Thank you.
255
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,306
Whew! Saved my life.
256
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,308
I don't know about
that. No, you did.
257
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:19,684
With my height,
that's the equivalent
258
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,770
of a two-story fall. Okay.
259
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,813
I guess I did save your
life then. [ Chuckles ] Yeah.
260
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:26,816
Pick that up from that EMT
you've been hanging out with?
261
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,611
Maybe. Is that bad?
262
00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,197
No. Happy you learned something.
263
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:36,785
It's nice to just have
a day with the kids and Gregory.
264
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,870
Feels good.
265
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,039
Feels great.
266
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,416
Ava doesn't like anyone
going down there.
267
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,251
The basement? Why?
268
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,586
I don't know.
269
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,004
But I see her going down
there all the time.
270
00:09:57,263 --> 00:10:00,475
Keys were bad enough,
now we've got numbers?
271
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:04,229
What the hell. Let's try...
272
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,272
6-9-6-9.
273
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,274
[ Door unlocks ] [ Chuckles ]
274
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:11,986
69% of the time
it works 69% of the time.
275
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,449
Well, I'll be.
276
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,201
[ Chimes ]
277
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,370
Robot Toilet:
Hello, Ms. Coleman.
278
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,579
It's Mr. Johnson,
but you're gonna learn that
279
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:22,997
the hard way.
280
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,082
[ Chuckles ]
281
00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,130
Okay, kiddos, come on, let's go
282
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,589
get us our lunch
and get in the shade.
283
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:34,134
Oh, thank goodness.
Let's get out of this sun.
284
00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,262
Oh!
285
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:40,014
We had to move
your little lunches.
286
00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:42,100
I hope it's not a problem.
287
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,185
Student: Oh!
288
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:47,230
That was supposed
to be our spot.
289
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:50,400
They threw our lunches
into the sun!
290
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,027
I have never known
evil like that,
291
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,196
and I have been
to a Cowboys home game.
292
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,866
You two! Where have you been?
293
00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,284
We're at war here.
294
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,119
War? With the park?
295
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:03,329
Gregory, uh, walk with me
for a moment.
296
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,706
I could... I could use some air.
297
00:11:04,706 --> 00:11:05,915
We're already outside.
298
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,458
Well, then it won't take long.
299
00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,878
Gregory: Okay, so what's this
about a war?
300
00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,046
You're a peacetime teacher,
Gregory. This isn't for you.
301
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,048
I merely wanted you alone to ask
302
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,550
how the bus chat went.
303
00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:17,594
Was it the right time?
No, not yet.
304
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,429
We were having a really good
time by the swings,
305
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,889
but then, while I was
taking a picture of her,
306
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:23,099
Manny sent her a text
asking her to go to dinner.
307
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,601
Oh, no. Not the beard.
308
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,103
That's what's different.
I don't care about the text.
309
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,398
If anything, it just motivates
me more to tell her how I feel.
310
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,649
My man.
311
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,151
So...
312
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:38,448
Next time we're alone,
it's happening.
313
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,241
Wow.
314
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,910
It's like a Hallmark movie.
315
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,286
Janine is the city girl,
316
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:44,746
and you're
the rough-and-tumble guy
317
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:45,663
who tends a garden,
318
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:48,124
and I am the guy...
319
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,626
watching that movie.
320
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,673
You know, hot PB&J
is considered a delicacy
321
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:56,883
in a lot of places.
322
00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,177
It's like a panini, basically.
323
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:01,471
[ Muffled ]
So, we're being fancy.
324
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,973
Ha! Y'all did this
to y'all selves.
325
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,267
Ava, you're deflating.
326
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,354
Hey, how are your warm,
toasty sandwiches?
327
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,230
What'd you say
about our sandwiches?
328
00:12:11,230 --> 00:12:13,316
You know what?
Why don't we just not interact
329
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,360
for the rest of the afternoon?
330
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,445
We are about to take
our students to the slide.
331
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,989
So you all have a nice day.
332
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,659
Actually, we're going to
the slide right now, so...
333
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:24,118
Say what? Ava: Oh, my God.
334
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:25,828
Let it go.
335
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:27,413
This is stupid playground beef.
336
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:29,290
Y'all are being more childish
than the kids.
337
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,125
Soror!
338
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,086
Crystal?
339
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,923
Crystal. This is your school?
340
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,466
This is my school.
341
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,593
Okay, let's fight these bitches.
342
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,637
A soror war.
343
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:45,264
You and your teachers have been
messing with my school all day.
344
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:48,309
Before, when it had no effect
on me, I was disengaged.
345
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,686
But now that my podcast
has ended
346
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,813
and my chair is deflated,
this is personal.
347
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,189
It's time to end this.
348
00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,691
And how do you suppose
we do that?
349
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:55,942
Relay race!
350
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,236
[ Students cheering ]
351
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,196
Winner takes all!
352
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,282
The slide and the pride!
353
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,119
Yeah! So just those two things!
354
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,455
I guess you're forgetting
I was on the track team.
355
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,791
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
I know you a runner.
356
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,459
That's a Chicago term for a ho.
357
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,253
I didn't know that. Yeah.
358
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,046
Ebonics, or AAVE, it changes
from state to state. Jacob, mnh-mnh.
359
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,718
Today, these two crews...
Abbott Elementary...
360
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,803
And Liberty Rings!
361
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:27,724
[ Liberty students cheering ]
[ Abbott students booing ]
362
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,225
...will battle it out...
363
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:32,270
will battle it out park style.
364
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,439
A relay race through
the playground.
365
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:36,107
You all know the risks.
366
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:37,442
It's what you signed up for.
367
00:13:37,442 --> 00:13:41,446
And winner gets dibs
on the big wooden slide.
368
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,239
[ All students cheering ] Yes!
369
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:47,702
Alright, here we go.
Here we go. Let's go.
370
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:50,079
Why?! You don't know how
to light it! This is kinda nice.
371
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:51,664
Big slide all to ourselves. Mm.
372
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,584
Our kids are so excited
about the relay race.
373
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,461
So are our adults. [ Chuckles ]
374
00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,796
So... should we slide?
375
00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,715
Yeah. [ Chuckles ]
376
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,966
Yeah, use the oven. Whatever.
377
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,384
Janine: Thanks.
378
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,094
Have you sliden before?
379
00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,637
Um, no. Oh!
380
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,014
No, I don't typically.
381
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,932
Clear eyes, full hearts,
382
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,517
elbows out, hip checks,
whatever it takes.
383
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,935
Mm-hmm. Let's be
aggressive out there.
384
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,353
Wait. Where's
Janine and Gregory?
385
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:16,022
Oh, who cares? Janine will
just slow us down.
386
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,356
She's got little limbs.
387
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,442
And let's be real... Gregory's
never really been one of us.
388
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,195
Look. We need everybody.
389
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,614
I can't carry this team
all by myself.
390
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,532
Alright.
Fine. I'll go find them.
391
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,242
Thank you.
392
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,661
You ready? Born ready.
393
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:34,040
[ Both laugh ]
394
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,003
[ Sighs ]
395
00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:53,101
Look, Janine, um...
396
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,727
I wanted to tell you...
397
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,064
Now, what the hell's
going on here?
398
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,691
Sorry. I had to take a call
from my ex-wife.
399
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,193
I wasn't talking to you.
400
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,695
Ugh. Never date someone
you work with.
401
00:15:04,695 --> 00:15:06,656
Wait. What'd you say?
It's a long story.
402
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,533
No, please.
403
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,368
Some of us need to hear it.
404
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:12,912
Well, me and my ex-wife,
we were both teachers.
405
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,539
Our classes were right next
to each other.
406
00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:15,998
We eventually got there.
407
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,959
Ooh. Sounds so familiar.
408
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,502
Did you take it to HR?
409
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:20,878
'Cause when I used to date
the other cashier
410
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:22,797
at Cold Stone Creamery,
policy stated
411
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:25,007
if we didn't report it, they
wouldn't like it or love it.
412
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:27,718
In fact, they gotta have it
reported to HR.
413
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,012
Or it would have been berry,
berry, berry bad.
414
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:31,806
Well, we did.
415
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,808
And they warned us,
but we ignored it. Mm.
416
00:15:33,808 --> 00:15:35,977
And at first, everything
was wonderful, a dream.
417
00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:37,812
But then things got rocky.
418
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,814
We fought, and there was
no escape from it.
419
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,315
That's right.
420
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,609
Home, school,
the lunch room, recess,
421
00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,612
field trips, parks, slides.
422
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,447
She was just there.
423
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,907
Always there.
424
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,201
I eventually had to
change schools,
425
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:54,412
take less money,
crappy studio apartment,
426
00:15:54,412 --> 00:15:55,830
forced to work
with Mr. Hill. Oof.
427
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:57,832
I feel that.
428
00:15:57,832 --> 00:16:00,626
And now I have several ulcers.
429
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,044
Mm-hmm.
430
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,796
All because I dated a coworker.
431
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,549
Mm, mm, mm.
Thank you, Mr. Morton.
432
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,302
It was illuminating
for all of us.
433
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:12,096
Now, if you two will stop acting
like a couple of school kids,
434
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,015
we gotta go win a relay race.
435
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:27,069
Thanks.
436
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,070
Yeah.
437
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:31,365
I've been thinking
so much about it going right,
438
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,577
I made the mistake of
not considering it going wrong.
439
00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,497
So I have to hold off.
440
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,085
But Jacob's right, though.
Morton sucks.
441
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,671
I'm 20 pounds lighter
and finally done.
442
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,216
My pants won't have to
sag anymore.
443
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:50,134
I couldn't find a match
for this last one.
444
00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,053
So it's going in the trash.
445
00:16:57,099 --> 00:17:00,353
Oops. Forgot my car keys.
446
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,071
[ Sighs ] [Bleep]
447
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,197
Everyone know
what they're doing?
448
00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,199
Wait. I want the monkey bars.
449
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,576
What, you got a bet
on the other team or something?
450
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,578
Janine, I really don't
think... No, no, no, I can do it.
451
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,247
She can.
452
00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:21,207
Fine. Gregory, you got
the tricycle thing.
453
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,042
So "tri-not" to mess it up.
454
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,919
Melissa: Okay, okay, okay.
455
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,254
Let's get it!
456
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:28,256
Let's have a good, clean race.
457
00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:30,424
Clean? Girl, I knew you
in college.
458
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,927
On your mark... get set...
459
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,011
go!
460
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,012
[ Screams ]
461
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:37,265
[ Indistinct shouting ]
462
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:39,642
Hey, wait a second!
Wait a second!
463
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,936
Ava!
464
00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,230
[ Screams ]
465
00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:46,774
[ Indistinct shouting ]
466
00:17:46,774 --> 00:17:47,900
[ Cheers and applause ]
467
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,068
One, two...
468
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,654
Whooooa!
469
00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,906
Okay, go, go, go, go!
470
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:57,118
[ Cheers and applause ]
471
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,161
Janine: Slap his hand, Jacob!
472
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,122
Come on, Gregory, let's go!
473
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,958
Jacob: Go, Greg! Go, Greg!
474
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:08,462
[ Cheering continues ]
475
00:18:08,462 --> 00:18:10,339
That's it! Don't fall!
476
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,758
Oh, yes, Melissa!
477
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,135
Gregory: Yes, beautiful!
478
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:15,886
[ Chuckles ]
479
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,514
Go! Go! Go!
Here we go! Here we go!
480
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,598
Go, Janine!
481
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:20,891
She good!
482
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,311
Fly, Janine, fly!
483
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,438
You got it. Yes!
484
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,440
Melissa: Go, Janine! You got it!
485
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,691
Go, Janine!
486
00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:31,027
Come on, Janine, come on!
Put it all into it!
487
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:33,362
I'm not physical in this way.
488
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,281
One more, Janine! One more!
489
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,283
Okay. [ Grunts ]
490
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,577
Alright, now.
491
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,746
Stop dancing, Janine! Stop!
492
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,956
Sorry! Thank you!
493
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,125
Barb! Jacob: You got this!
494
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:50,630
[ Cheering ]
495
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,298
Go, Barb, go!
496
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:54,467
- Oh, no, you didn't!
- Go, Barb!
497
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,137
[ Indistinct shouting ]
498
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,972
Satan right behind you, girl!
499
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:02,600
[ Cheers and applause ]
500
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:05,144
Yeah! [ Laughs ]
501
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,316
You're welcome, kids!
502
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:11,359
Yes.
503
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,860
Kids?
504
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,321
Wait. Where'd all the kids go?
505
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:18,366
[ Playful shouting, laughter ]
506
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,117
Barbara: Looks like the children
can get along
507
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:21,535
quite well without us.
508
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,204
Well, okay, but her kid
shoved my kid.
509
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,289
No, your kid did shove
my kid. We're done.
510
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:29,585
I guess the adults are
to blame here.
511
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,129
I'm sorry, soror.
512
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:33,839
And I'm sorry...
513
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,175
that we had to beat your ass!
514
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,968
[ Laughter ]
515
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:39,220
Whoo!
516
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,806
Boom! Ooh! Sorry.
517
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,183
[ Playful shouting, laughter ]
518
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,188
Took you long enough.
519
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,232
Mr. Johnson,
what you doing outside?
520
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:53,609
While I was thinning out
my keys, I locked myself out.
521
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:56,320
No way back in, so I guess
there's no more school forever.
522
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:59,115
[ Students cheering ]
523
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:01,992
If it was that easy, I'd have
locked us out years ago.
524
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,578
Outta my way. I gotta pee.
525
00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,123
Lucky for me, I found that
brand-new bathroom to use.
526
00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:08,958
Please tell me
you didn't use it.
527
00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,710
Use it? Baby, I abused it.
528
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,213
No. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
529
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,006
Jacob.
530
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,466
I gotta hand it to you, man.
531
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,468
I thought this whole field trip
was gonna be terrible.
532
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,345
Just a bad idea
from start to finish.
533
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,764
But best field trip ever?
534
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:26,100
Best field trip ever!
[ Students cheering ]
535
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,852
Smith Playground champions,
baby!
536
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,937
That's right.
537
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,772
Look, I said you're
not getting the grill.
538
00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:36,026
Okay, um, I guess
it's time to go inside.
539
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,822
Cool. I'm gonna see if Jacob
needs help with anything.
540
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,532
Okay.
541
00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:43,075
I'll see you tomorrow?
542
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,952
Yeah.
543
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:51,834
You a little sore?
544
00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,502
[ Chuckles ]
Forget a Charley Horse,
545
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,756
I got a Charley Polo Team
in my hamstrings.
546
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,551
Charley Polo Team.
547
00:21:00,551 --> 00:21:02,011
Like Ralph Lauren.
548
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,515
Shut up, Gregory.
549
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,975
I said nothing.
550
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,894
But I did tell you
all to stretch.
551
00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:12,897
You all look ridiculous.
552
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,774
Us? What about you?
553
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:18,152
Where does your waist end and
your neck begin? [ Ava chuckles ]
554
00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,321
If that's supposed
to be a pickup line...
555
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:21,697
it's working.
556
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:25,784
Delicious.