1
00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:02,877
Hey, y'all. Just a reminder,
2
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,046
until the leak in the gym is fixed,
it's off-limits.
3
00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:07,591
Last thing we need is a parent slipping
and suing the school.
4
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:11,010
You guys, I'm trying to do printouts
for the open house tomorrow
5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,553
and my laptop keeps crashing.
6
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:15,473
Does anybody have a functioning computer
I can jump on?
7
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,767
- Nope.
- Mine crashed twice this morning.
8
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:20,603
Yes, but you have to tap
my monitor three times
9
00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:22,898
and say a little prayer
for the Wi-Fi to work.
10
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:26,734
Yeah, so because the district
took away all of our stuff
11
00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:30,071
from the golf course
and Ava gave away our funds
12
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,740
to other schools at the budget meeting,
13
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,534
Abbott's back to square one.
14
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,245
Not my favorite shape.
I'm more of a triangle girlie.
15
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,747
I actually played a triangle
in high school, if you...
16
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,624
Anyway, we have a plan.
17
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:45,546
As part of the open house this year,
we are having a car wash to raise money.
18
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:51,842
Okay, before I blast this on socials that
I don't have to pay to be verified on,
19
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,302
how much are we charging for the car wash?
20
00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:57,556
Ah, we are not charging anything
and relying purely on donations.
21
00:00:57,557 --> 00:01:00,685
You know, when you rely
on the kindness in people's hearts,
22
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,437
you start to realize there is no kindness
in people's hearts.
23
00:01:03,438 --> 00:01:07,024
No, look, we lure people in
with a free car wash,
24
00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:10,861
but then they see the cute kids
and us working extremely hard,
25
00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:12,113
and they feel guilty.
26
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,782
And people will pay anything
to get rid of the guilt.
27
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,577
Hmm. Well, donations work wonders
for my church.
28
00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,079
- Mm-hmm.
- My church promised me my own planet.
29
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,205
They better pay up.
30
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,749
Great, and are we...
are we still gonna call it A.V.A. Fest,
31
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,042
- you know, to pay homage to Ava?
- Aw.
32
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:28,672
Yeah, if you want to pay homage
and a hefty licensing fee.
33
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,300
She trademarked A.V.A. Fest,
and she sent a cease and desist.
34
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,635
- Mmm.
- How?
35
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,263
Girlfriend.
36
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:51,319
Thank you
for bringing me in today.
37
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,237
{\an8}Tell Johnny I'm sorry
he had to ride on the ladder.
38
00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:55,614
{\an8}Ah, he's used to it.
Plus, he's rooting for us.
39
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,241
{\an8}Aw.
40
00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,743
{\an8}- Oh, duty calls.
- Oh.
41
00:01:58,744 --> 00:02:00,661
{\an8}Try not to pull any fire alarms
today, Mel.
42
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:02,330
{\an8}I'll try. No promises.
43
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:04,373
{\an8}Hey. What are you doing?
44
00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:06,584
{\an8}I'm getting my stuff ready
for the car wash.
45
00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:09,796
{\an8}I hope they put me on cupholders.
They're always so nasty.
46
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:15,009
{\an8}Dia, can you have Mr. Johnson
disinfect the admin desk regularly?
47
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,678
{\an8}The kids touch this,
and we've seen what they can do.
48
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,139
{\an8}First of all, Mr. Johnson
is not my jurisdiction.
49
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,141
{\an8}Second of all, it's open house.
50
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,061
{\an8} Right. I used to get
so stressed out about talking to parents,
51
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:28,356
{\an8}but the full-time sub is
taking over my class,
52
00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:29,982
{\an8}which is such a relief.
53
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:33,319
{\an8}Okay, yeah, but some of the parents
are gonna wanna talk to the principal,
54
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,488
{\an8}- not just the teachers.
- Yep.
55
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:38,240
{\an8}It's like when you go to the store
and you wanna speak to the manager.
56
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,451
Yeah, never done that.
I've always been able to find a resolution
57
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,745
without escalating the situation.
58
00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:45,581
But Ava never talked to anybody.
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00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,333
Ava can get away with that. You ain't Ava.
60
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:48,417
No.
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00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,044
{\an8}The parents are gonna wanna talk to you,
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00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:52,797
{\an8}and they are gonna have
a lot of questions.
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00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:56,885
{\an8}Well, I don't love the sound of that.
What should I prepare for?
64
00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,595
{\an8}Prepare.
65
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,932
{\an8}You can't prepare.
No, they're gonna throw everything at you.
66
00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:07,895
{\an8}Complaints, concerns, compliments.
But mostly complaints and concerns.
67
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,732
{\an8}You're saying there's... there's nothing
I can do to plan for this?
68
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:17,113
I am Greg-bot.
I cannot deviate from my plans.
69
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,573
That's you.
70
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:20,991
And here you go.
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00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,202
{\an8}I'm not tall enough
to reach the top of the car.
72
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,162
{\an8}Oh, that's okay. I'll get those spots.
73
00:03:25,163 --> 00:03:27,957
{\an8} You're like
a inch taller than me.
74
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,709
{\an8} Okay, everyone.
75
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,587
{\an8}If you don't have a parent,
then you're on car wash duty,
76
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,172
{\an8}and we'll keep rotating, right?
77
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:36,924
{\an8}- Are we ready?
- Yes.
78
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,552
{\an8}Guess what... Guess...
Guess what I found in the basement.
79
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,012
{\an8}Last person who should have a megaphone.
80
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:44,683
{\an8}I haven't got the timing down yet,
but I will when it's showtime.
81
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,017
{\an8}Oh, my God.
82
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:50,771
{\an8}Let it be known that I will not
be a scrubbing, rubbing or a dubbing,
83
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,274
{\an8}and the only thing I buff are my nails.
84
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:57,154
But if you want somebody
to count your donations,
85
00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,822
- I'm your gal.
- Okay.
86
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,532
Speaking of which, I made this
87
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:03,826
so we could keep track of all the dough
we make today, all right?
88
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:05,661
- Yes.
- Remember, we ain't doing this for free.
89
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,415
- Well, technically, we--
- It is a highly suggested donation, okay?
90
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,000
And by "highly suggested,"
91
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,586
I mean you hold that tip jar
right up into their face
92
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,296
until it gets uncomfortable,
93
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:18,048
- which also works with divorce papers too.
- Mmm.
94
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:21,010
{\an8}And I also invited all of the members
from my church,
95
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,512
{\an8}and you will never believe who is--
96
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,681
{\an8}I blew dirt on all the cars
in the neighborhood
97
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,433
and the ones at the golf course too.
98
00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,311
And don't worry, I wore a disguise.
99
00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:32,021
{\an8}Call me Mr. Morton.
100
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,939
Uh, hey, should we be worried
about the weather?
101
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,483
It says there's a high chance of rain.
102
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:39,069
The only thing there's a high chance of
is success.
103
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,322
- Guys, let's fill this thermometer.
- Yeah.
104
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,574
- Yeah!
- That's right!
105
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,160
Welcome to Abbott.
Hello, I'm Interim Principal Eddie.
106
00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:48,287
Welcome to Abbott.
Hello, I'm Interim Principal Eddie.
107
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,874
Well, Mr. Interim Principal,
show 'em what you got.
108
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:54,418
Hi. Uh, welcome to Abbott.
I'm Interim Principal Eddie.
109
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,546
Are you the new principal?
110
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,506
I'm the interim principal, yeah.
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00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:01,509
You'll do.
Listen, my child is in 5th grade now,
112
00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:04,261
and I have been
to every open house, A.V.A. Fest
113
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:07,056
or... ...whatever you guys
are calling it these days,
114
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,391
and no one has been able
to answer my question.
115
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,726
Okay, well, I'll do my best,
116
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:13,854
but I just wanna reiterate
that I am the interim principal.
117
00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,024
I know what interim means. Is he for real?
118
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,276
The school website does not explain
119
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,446
what any
of the extracurricular activities are.
120
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,074
Like, what is a garden goofball?
121
00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:28,619
I'm really glad that you asked.
I actually run that after-school program.
122
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,912
Um...
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00:05:29,913 --> 00:05:32,665
It teaches the students responsibility
while also learning about horticulture.
124
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,709
Right now, we're harvesting
strawberries, tomatoes, cabbage--
125
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:36,794
- Cabbage?
- Yeah.
126
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:42,049
And sensory plants like scented herbs,
and lavender and a mimosa plant for touch.
127
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:45,719
Well, thank you, Interim Principal.
128
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,055
Yeah, no problem.
I'll make a note to update the website.
129
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,765
Mm-hmm.
130
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,100
I think I'm getting better at this.
131
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,520
Well, she did ask the one thing you know.
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00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:57,274
This whole time I've been
giving you the benefit of the doubt.
133
00:05:58,233 --> 00:06:01,819
Um... Oh. Hey, Gregory,
could you please come out right away?
134
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:03,237
Oh, no, what, is it raining?
135
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:05,781
No, just come outside.
We got a situation, so...
136
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,284
Okay, stay on the ground.
137
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:12,162
Hey! We don't have all day.
138
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,247
Ooh.
139
00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,791
I know I prayed for a good turnout,
140
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:19,044
but these hands were made
for praying, not for spraying.
141
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,088
I think we're gonna need more chamois.
142
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:24,843
Oh. Oh. Oh.
143
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,387
Morton, why aren't you helping?
144
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,389
And is this a sleeping bag?
145
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,224
Yeah, I just leased this all-electric car.
146
00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,727
It's actually not a bad place to sleep,
which is really helpful
147
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,854
when you don't know if you're welcome
at home each night.
148
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,940
Okay, well, you're gonna get out
and finish it yourself.
149
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,568
Ava? Oh, my God, Ava.
150
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,820
Hey, what are you doing here?
151
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,780
I just finished
a speaking engagement in Jersey,
152
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,575
so... ...obviously,
I need a car wash.
153
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:53,330
I heard someone here had the dumb idea
to raise money by washing cars for free.
154
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:57,249
Well, that someone would disagree.
155
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,584
Listen, if you need the cash,
156
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,544
I have a list
of high-net-worth potential donors
157
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,046
in the top drawer of my old desk.
158
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,131
- You should hit 'em up.
- I don't think we'll need to.
159
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,968
We've got cars lined up around the block.
I think we're gonna be just fine.
160
00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:13,015
Okay, well, if you wanna turn down
good money... ...be my guest.
161
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:15,351
But wait a second,
we haven't even washed your car yet.
162
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,102
Y'all not touching my car
with them linen rags.
163
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,022
Try microfiber. Ugh.
What would y'all do without me?
164
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,106
That's a good idea.
165
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,399
Well, I will talk to the cafeteria
166
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,402
and let them know they don't need
to use MSG in everything, okay?
167
00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:27,155
- Y'all have a good night.
- Thank you.
168
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,450
Hmm.
169
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:35,913
Amber. Hi. Um...
Welcome to the open house.
170
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:36,997
Mm-hmm.
171
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,334
{\an8}"Interim Principal Eddie."
Interim about sums you up.
172
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,506
I heard your boring ass is
dating a teacher now.
173
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:46,383
That's a power imbalance.
174
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,759
You know what? That's a good point.
175
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:52,471
You know what? I actually have
to, um, go attend to something.
176
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,683
Wait. I recognize that slinking.
177
00:07:55,684 --> 00:07:58,852
You dropped off a pizza to us
a couple weeks ago.
178
00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,437
Left it on the sidewalk.
179
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:03,691
You know I got a doorbell cam.
Looking like Bigfoot.
180
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,903
Okay, listen,
so I didn't come to your door
181
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:10,948
because I wanted to wait
until tonight's open house
182
00:08:10,949 --> 00:08:13,159
to tell you just how great Joel
and Megan have been doing.
183
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:14,910
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
184
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:17,287
They're really thriving
in Ms. Cooper's class.
185
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,039
You should see their project
on the Constitution.
186
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,208
It's actually better than our current one.
187
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:25,630
Okay, I guess I'll check it out.
Thanks, Interim Principal Eddie.
188
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:33,971
That was a close call,
but you handled it well.
189
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:35,264
Thank you.
190
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:39,769
Even though you walk
like the alien in Signs.
191
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:44,816
Is she still doing it?
192
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,487
Okay. Just...
193
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,780
We got another tip.
194
00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:53,949
- Yeah.
- Oh, all right.
195
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,785
Awesome. Let's tally up our bounty
and see where we're at.
196
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,912
Okay. Whoo.
197
00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,041
Well, Mr. Johnson,
you wanna do the honors?
198
00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:08,172
No, no. Mr. J, you've gotta do the line
above the zero, not below.
199
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:10,050
Y'all owe the thermometer money.
200
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,884
- Wait, what?
- Huh?
201
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,762
What do you mean? How is that possible?
We've been working our butts off.
202
00:09:14,763 --> 00:09:19,058
He's right. We've spent $275 on supplies.
203
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:24,938
We only made $163 in donations,
and 100 of that came from Ava.
204
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,649
Those damn gentrifiers
haven't been tipping.
205
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,986
Yeah, well, we should've expected that.
It's in their nature to be cheap.
206
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,322
All right, well, I will go, uh...
207
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,490
- Drum up some more business.
- Ow!
208
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,701
Sorry. [through megaphone] Sorry.
209
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:38,869
Bye.
210
00:09:38,870 --> 00:09:41,914
Gregory, we are losing money
on the car wash.
211
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,958
- What? What about the tips?
- Apparently, people think we're in Europe.
212
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,376
And we only have a couple of hours left,
213
00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:48,253
and I don't think
we're even gonna break even.
214
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,588
Mm-mmm.
215
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,382
Oh. Wait a minute.
216
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:55,385
Ava said she had a list
of high-net-worth potential donors.
217
00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:57,596
She probably was collecting them
as eligible bachelors,
218
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,889
but maybe we can reach out.
219
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:02,392
Right. Yeah, that's worth a shot.
And if that doesn't work, we're screwed.
220
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:03,561
Mm-hmm.
221
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,855
- I'm just being realistic.
- Mmm.
222
00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:10,734
You know, there's some pretty high-profile
people who attend my church--
223
00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,195
Barbara, is it Jesus?
224
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,363
Well, he's one of them.
225
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:15,906
Okay, well, let's take a beat on that,
226
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,826
and just focus on the ones
with phone numbers.
227
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,452
Okay.
228
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:25,791
Free car wash and a chance
to help children in need. Be a hero.
229
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:29,795
Hey, turn that thing down!
You're driving away my business!
230
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,171
Yep. Okay.
231
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:34,591
Um. Oh.
232
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,678
- Ah. Hello. Oh.
- What's good?
233
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,471
I got the text message
about the fundraiser.
234
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,723
That's an interesting wallet.
235
00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:43,183
Happy to support.
236
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:47,062
God bless you and your generous donation.
Thank you very much.
237
00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:49,606
It's working.
238
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,568
Ava's list of high-net-worth donors
are actually coming through.
239
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:53,652
Ooh.
240
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,405
- These guys are drug dealers.
- What?
241
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:59,283
Don't ask me how I know without
my lawyer being present, but it's true.
242
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,285
Hey, stay out of the trunk.
243
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,579
Yeah, maybe he's just
a private person, you know.
244
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:05,831
I don't want anyone snoopin'
in my trunk either.
245
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,541
Exactly. And we shouldn't profile anyone.
246
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:10,627
I mean, just because they have
a lot of money and nice cars...
247
00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:12,963
Hey, did you guys know these things
have a siren on 'em?
248
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:24,516
Yeah, these guys are drug dealers.
249
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:25,601
Told you.
250
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:28,395
And that's what we're doing
to improve all of your children's
251
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,022
reading comprehension levels.
252
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,149
- It's been quite efficacious.
- Efficacious.
253
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,194
Well, it takes a village, truly.
254
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:37,029
Thank you. You know, as interim principal,
255
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:41,366
I really wanna cultivate a workplace
rooted in mutual respect, and--
256
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,619
'Sup, bitch?
257
00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:46,914
You let my son down.
258
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:54,046
Maybe this is where drug money should
be going. Back into the community.
259
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,631
Absolutely not.
260
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,926
Barb, you know,
you take away the drug dealer part,
261
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,928
- they're just small business owners.
- Mm-hmm.
262
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,012
She's got a point.
263
00:12:02,013 --> 00:12:04,973
They don't say anything
about not smoking weed in the Bible.
264
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,768
They do say something
about a burning bush, though.
265
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,981
Okay, I'm sorry. You're right. Okay?
266
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,733
But we're in the worst shape
we've ever been in,
267
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,694
and now we're not even gonna make enough
to build back what we lost.
268
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,573
So, how'd you guys do?
269
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,534
Based on those sad faces
and that icy thermometer,
270
00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:25,620
I'm guessing not well?
271
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,913
Did you guys text
the drug dealers I told you about?
272
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,123
'Cause one thing about them is
they gonna text back fast.
273
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,960
We did... ...but Barbara
won't let us to keep the money.
274
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,044
Mm-mmm.
275
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:36,838
Man, Barb, can't you just throw
some holy water on it or something?
276
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:40,008
Well, I guess we just wait
for the next budget meeting
277
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,718
and hope that luck is on our side.
278
00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:45,264
Nah, we can make this work.
279
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,308
Uh, how?
We've only got an hour of daylight left.
280
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,603
See, this is what's wrong with y'all.
You're always thinking too small.
281
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,772
This presents us
with the opportunity to pivot.
282
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,482
A night car wash?
283
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,567
No.
284
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,488
Block party. Tear up that cease
and desist, y'all.
285
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,864
'Cause A.V.A. Fest is back.
286
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,658
That's what we should've done
to begin with.
287
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,201
- All right! I love it.
- A.V.A. Fest.
288
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,577
You're welcome.
289
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:12,250
Oh. I think the man upstairs has
something to say about that.
290
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,004
Well, so much for the block party.
291
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,256
Are you really gonna let
a little rain shut down A.V.A. Fest?
292
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:22,259
I'm so glad I didn't license it to y'all.
You'd have killed the brand.
293
00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,762
All we need to do is
move the block inside.
294
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,764
But it's practically raining
in the gym too.
295
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:30,559
That's the beauty of a block party.
It can happen anywhere.
296
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,185
Classrooms, hallways.
297
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,062
Now all we need are some attractions.
298
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,982
I'm a caricature artist.
Did it for 20 years on Coney Island.
299
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,317
What? Twenty years?
300
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,944
Well, might have been an afternoon,
seemed like 20 years.
301
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,989
Okay. There we go. Who else can do things?
302
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:47,034
- I can do tarot readings.
- Hmm. Predictable.
303
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:50,287
Janine, what about you?
Do you have a single money-making skill?
304
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:51,455
Um...
305
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:54,499
I like to draw cute things
on the kids' tests,
306
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,668
so maybe I can do face painting.
307
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,171
Okay, I've seen those, so that'll be free.
308
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,256
But we could get Wendell
and the cafeteria staff
309
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:04,217
to put out food and drinks
and up charge the hell out of everybody.
310
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:07,262
Now the only thing left is a showstopper,
which I can make happen.
311
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,599
Ooh, oh. I've got someone
who can stop any show. He's--
312
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,309
Sure, Barb,
bring your little church friend.
313
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,936
Just make sure they get out of the way
when I get Stevie Wonder to show up.
314
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,731
Ava, quit trying to trick the blind.
315
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,734
It almost worked two years ago when
I told him this was the Staples Center.
316
00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,611
I'll get somebody. Are y'all in or not?
317
00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:23,695
- Yes.
- Yeah.
318
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:27,783
Yeah. But if it's Bon Jovi, someone tell
Captain Robinson it's been fun.
319
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,076
Girl...
320
00:14:29,077 --> 00:14:30,202
Let's get to it.
321
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:33,997
I told you if his grades start slipping,
I was coming back for round two.
322
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,373
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
323
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,335
Did his grades actually slip?
Last time I checked, they were great.
324
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:42,672
Jabari had an A+ in spelling.
Now he's down to an A.
325
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:46,593
Says it's 'cause he misses you.
So yeah, that's on you, playboy.
326
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,596
Look, I had to step away from my class
to take over the interim principal job.
327
00:14:49,597 --> 00:14:51,431
- That's not a real job. You made that up.
- It is.
328
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:52,557
I'm temporarily the principal right now,
329
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,976
but I still make sure to check in
with Jabari,
330
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,353
along with the rest of my students.
331
00:14:56,354 --> 00:15:00,690
No, no, no, you built a bond with Jabari,
and now you let him down.
332
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:03,693
Do you know what that does
to his abandonment issues?
333
00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:07,240
Darnell. I give you my word.
334
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:11,159
I will always be there for Jabari,
and I know you will too
335
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,913
considering how many times you done come
around here threatening to beat my ass.
336
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:20,711
And with both of us on Team Jabari,
I am certain he will be all right.
337
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:28,093
- Okay. Okay. But if his grades slip again...
- Mm-hmm. Really.
338
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:30,512
No, no, I'm playing. I'm playing, right?
339
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:32,013
- That was funny.
- Yeah. That was good.
340
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,515
- Okay? Yeah. You all right, man.
- Uh-huh.
341
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:37,520
It's okay. Hey, but you gotta stop
pushing my buttons, man.
342
00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:41,023
You better not be looking
at that camera, I sw...
343
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:46,528
- Nah, I'm playing again. Seriously.
- There you go with that. Doing callbacks.
344
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:47,613
Perfect.
345
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,241
Step right up!
346
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:56,121
See your true nature in a caricature
or have a sorceress tell you your fortune.
347
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,750
Or pay me $20 to roast your outfit,
30 if you want me to compliment it.
348
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,336
That shirt is ugly. First one's free.
349
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:04,296
How's it looking? Getting any warmer?
350
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,131
Yeah, it's better than the car wash,
351
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,426
but without a big closer,
we're not gonna make it.
352
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:12,180
Damn, Fergie booked
another national anthem.
353
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:15,515
Jacob, quick, put on a wig
and pretend you're Kevin Bacon.
354
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,727
Like Footloose Kevin Bacon
or modern day car commercial Kevin?
355
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,020
I don't...
356
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:23,398
My church contact came through.
Ava, did you book a closer?
357
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,525
I didn't, Barb, but Gerald doing
a Sunday school puppet show
358
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,194
about the great flood might not be enough.
359
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:29,863
Gerald's with his men's group
this evening.
360
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,823
- Actually, I got--
- Hi.
361
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,283
Hi.
362
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:35,869
Miss Jill Scott.
363
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:36,953
Hi.
364
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:40,624
Thank you so much for making this happen
with such short notice.
365
00:16:40,625 --> 00:16:43,376
This lady has gone above and beyond
366
00:16:43,377 --> 00:16:48,925
to make my godmother feel welcome
in the choir, and she can't even sing.
367
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:51,509
It's the least I could do.
368
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,678
And who's this fine fella with you? Hello.
369
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,015
Oh. This is Jax. He's my security.
370
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,976
I don't go anywhere without him.
There are a lot of weirdos out there.
371
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,311
- Yeah.
- Sure are.
372
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,855
You know, somebody went
in my dressing room
373
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,649
and stole my ear monitors.
374
00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:07,567
- What?
- What you gonna do with ear monitors?
375
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:09,611
- Yeah, that's weird.
- It's weird.
376
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:11,613
Well, welcome to Abbott Elementary.
377
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,032
And, um...
378
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,619
- Jacob will take you somewhere.
- To somewhere. Yeah.
379
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,247
- You can go to... Yeah.
- To the, um... Yep. We go right this way.
380
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:21,414
- Thank you.
- Bye.
381
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,582
Thank you for coming.
382
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:23,708
Oh, my God.
383
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,835
I cannot believe you got Jill Scott.
384
00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,713
- Well, the Lord--
- Works in mysterious ways.
385
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,006
- Right, Barbara?
- Mm-hmm.
386
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,132
- That's good.
- Yeah.
387
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,759
I knew he had a plan when he brought
388
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,845
Jill Scott's godmother
to our church choir,
389
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,432
and it wasn't
because we needed a crackly soprano.
390
00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,809
Yeah! Whoo!
391
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,190
It's so good to be here with you.
392
00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,109
You're charging more
than a Jill Scott concert.
393
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:52,154
Yeah. 'Cause this isn't
a Jill Scott concert. It's A.V.A. Fest.
394
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,115
Looks like the fire department's here
to shut us down.
395
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,199
Nah, he's with me.
396
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,617
Did I miss her sing-along walk?
397
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,911
I left Johnny alone with a kitchen fire
to get here on time.
398
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,246
No, not yet.
399
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:07,003
Get up. Everybody get up.
400
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:13,967
♪ I'm taking my freedom
Pulling it off the shelf ♪
401
00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:17,887
♪ Putting it on my chain
Wear it around my neck ♪
402
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:23,101
♪ I'm taking my freedom
Putting it in my car ♪
403
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,896
♪ Wherever I choose to go, yeah
It will take me far ♪
404
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:31,026
♪ I am, am, am... ♪
405
00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:34,946
We did it. We did it.
Ava, this is amazing.
406
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,074
Honestly, some of my best work.
407
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,785
I'm just curious though.
What made you come back?
408
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,830
You guys were spinning your wheels
with a car wash.
409
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,333
Robots replaced sponges years ago.
410
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:48,752
Okay. I thought we would've been
the least of your concerns.
411
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:51,088
What, with your success
and the talks and all.
412
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,466
Yeah, I make a lot of money. Just...
413
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,595
It just doesn't make me feel...
414
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,263
Fulfilled?
415
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,057
Shut up, Janine.
416
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,642
♪ Letting the joy unfold ♪
417
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:06,437
For some really annoying reason
that I can't explain,
418
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,606
I miss it here.
419
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,528
Ava, do you wanna come back?
420
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:18,198
That's not an option, okay?
That door is closed.
421
00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:20,075
Okay, but maybe it doesn't have to be.
422
00:19:20,076 --> 00:19:21,618
Look, a very wise person once said,
423
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:24,455
"Every new beginning comes
from some other beginning's end."
424
00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,541
Okay.
425
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:32,880
Look, if you wanna come back,
we can find a way to make it happen.
426
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,301
♪ Like it's golden, golden ♪
427
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,553
♪ Like it's important
Like it matters ♪
428
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,224
♪ Like it's blessed
Yeah, yeah ♪
429
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:46,601
I wanna come back.
430
00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:52,982
♪ I am, am, am
Living my life like it's golden ♪
431
00:19:52,983 --> 00:19:54,735
♪ Golden ♪
432
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,821
♪ Golden ♪
433
00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,031
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
434
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,908
Abbott Elementary!
435
00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:09,290
There was a lot of energy.
436
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:12,585
Miss Scott, before you go, I was wondering
if I could have your autograph.
437
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:13,670
I'm a huge fan.
438
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:15,131
Okay. No problem.
439
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:20,428
I heard you were coming,
so I went home and I grabbed these.
440
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:29,227
Is that my...
Is that my scarf and my ear monitors?
441
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,604
Oh, those are hearing aids.
442
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,399
Hold up. I remember you.
443
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,608
You do?
444
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:39,738
You're the guy who came
to 37 of my shows in one year.
445
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:41,781
You saw my Instagram stories. Wow.
446
00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:46,578
No. Artists are alerted whenever someone
attends ten or more of their shows.
447
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:50,123
I see. So you never saw my tags. Noted.
448
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:54,335
You rushed my stage in Pittsburgh in '05,
449
00:20:54,336 --> 00:20:59,591
and you stole my scarf...
that scarf... off of my neck.
450
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,093
{\an8}You're the whole reason I hired Jax.
451
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,971
{\an8}You're welcome for the job, Jax.
452
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,599
{\an8}Okay. I'm out.
453
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:09,101
{\an8}Hey, wait, I made you something.
454
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:16,609
{\an8}Jax?
455
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:21,321
{\an8}♪ Livin' my life like it's golden
Livin' my life like it's golden ♪
456
00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,908
{\an8}♪ Livin' my life like it's golden
Golden ♪