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Good morning and happy, my second
favorite holiday after Christmas,
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Development Day every...
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Ooh. Donuts. Come on.
4
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Oh, that's nice, but I am cutting today,
so I will just have a yogurt.
5
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Hmm, how am I feeling today, right?
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Am I feeling sophisticated
or am I feeling nutty?
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Am I feeling chocolate frosted?
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- Janine.
- Oh.
9
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Classic. Thank you.
You know me well, Mel Mel. Hmm.
10
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Well, six years will do that to you.
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Oh, did you guys hear
about the ceiling falling in at Addington?
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- Mmm.
- And that building was built after ours.
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- Really? Wow.
- Mmm.
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Morning, y'all. I did get finer.
We don't have to talk about it.
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And thanks to whoever
brought in these donuts.
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- I thought you did.
- Now, why would I do that?
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They were here when I came
to get my coffee this morning.
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Hmm. "Donut worry about a thing."
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Oh, that place is great.
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Remember I brought donuts
for the last day of school last year.
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- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
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But none of us got any
because we were determined
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to clean our classrooms and get the hell
out of here before rush hour.
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Mr. Johnson, um,
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you cleaned out the kitchen
at the end of last year, right?
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Yeah.
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- Wait, did you say last year?
- Yeah.
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Nah.
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Be kidding.
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Guys, this year's still gonna be great.
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Whoa!
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I wasn't living here.
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Ooh, donuts.
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{\an8}Welcome back lolly? Okay.
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{\an8}Y'all know what time it is.
It's Development Day.
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Some of the, uh, "grown-ups" are
dreading school starting,
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but let me be the first to say
"welcome back" with a lollipop.
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{\an8}- Here you go.
- Thank you.
39
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{\an8}Melissa.
40
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{\an8}My lolly.
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{\an8}Barbara, you don't want
a welcome-back lollipop, do you?
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{\an8}I'd love one. Thank you.
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{\an8}Oh, I'm elated to be back.
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{\an8}At the end of the last school year,
45
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{\an8}I really found a groove
with the music class,
46
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{\an8}so I spent all summer lesson planning
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{\an8}and familiarizing myself with the music
that the students love these days.
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{\an8}I've just been re-energized.
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It's a new chapter in the book of Barbara.
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Can y'all come take a look
at something real quick?
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Like this?
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See we won't be having any fun
this school year.
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{\an8}Somehow the stove got all out of place.
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{\an8}We cannot have the hookups
exposed like that.
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{\an8}Not my jurisdiction.
I'll have someone come check it out.
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{\an8}Oh, please.
You don't got to call anybody.
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{\an8}Step aside. I got this.
It just needs a little... love.
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The rumors are true. I'm in love.
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His name is O'Shon, and he works in tech.
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You know, when we first started dating,
everybody was against us.
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The district even fired me
to try to break up our relationship,
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and Janine tried to keep me
from getting my job back.
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But... [chuckles] ...in spite of it all,
we... we made it through.
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{\an8}In summary, I go above and beyond
because I'm in love and O'Shoned.
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{\an8}Ava, for the dozenth time,
you really shouldn't show us that stuff.
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{\an8}It is an HR violation.
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{\an8}So is your shirt.
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{\an8}Okay. What else? New counselor coming.
Boring.
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{\an8}Oh. Everyone, please welcome our new
fourth-grade teacher, Dominic Clark.
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Where do I know that name...
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{\an8}- I don't know.
- Dominic Clark.
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{\an8}Did you star in that new Tyler Perry movie
Madea's Destination Wedding?
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{\an8}No, Mrs. Howard. It's me Dominic.
I was in your kindergarten class.
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{\an8}Dominic, how could I forget?
You colored everything red.
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Still do. I'm just playing.
I don't do that anymore.
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00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,537
It's just an honor
to be your new colleague.
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My new colleague.
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00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:08,790
- Hi, everyone.
- Hey, how you doing?
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Wow, imagine that.
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00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:16,465
My kindergarten student of nearly, whoo,
20 years ago is my new colleague.
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Which is crazy, Barbara,
because you guys look the exact same age.
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Yes, we do. Uh...
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{\an8}This is not gonna be good.
This is a minefield, okay?
84
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:28,018
That guy is gonna set Barbara
back to old grumpy Barb.
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Yeah, no, I'm on this.
86
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All right. Due to an increase
in middle school students,
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Ms. Schemmenti will no
longer be teaching second grade.
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She'll be moving up
to teach middle school math in homeroom.
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00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,449
No, no, it's all right. I already knew.
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00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,535
And, you know, every app is
like sports betting these days,
91
00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:49,623
so I figured that this is an opportunity
for me to refresh my percentages skills.
92
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,167
And since there aren't enough
second graders for two classes,
93
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Ms. Teagues will now have 40 students.
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I, for one, am excited
to see if it will break her.
95
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It won't.
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- It might.
- Okay, now you're just doing crowd work.
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00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:02,052
We're gonna go finish
setting up our classrooms.
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00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,554
Yep, Development Day over. Good job, team.
99
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,973
Well, did someone say "team"?
100
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,267
- Who's the suit?
- Oh. Right.
101
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:13,271
This paper skeleton is Craig.
The district sent him for some reason.
102
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Uh, yes. Good morning,
Abbott Elementary, and welcome back.
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- All right!
- There it is.
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Uh, Principal Coleman is right.
I am here for a reason.
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The district thinks Abbott is
a very special school,
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and we wanted to make it more special
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by reaffirming
some core district principles
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and moral guidelines
through team building.
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This is a result
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of their no-longer-trusting-us
because of last year's lying.
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Extortion of businesses.
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Yep, and our annual tradition
of unpermitted shows and festivities.
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Maybe. Yes.
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So, this is a punishment couched
in team building activities?
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Yes. To show we're all one big team
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and rebuild the trust
between the district and Abbott
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that you all shattered,
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I will be leading everyone in a day
of mandatory team building activities.
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So without further ado,
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let's all obligatorily
scoot to the library.
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Whoo.
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Oh, come on, everybody.
A few team building games might be fun.
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Oh, not games, activities.
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So, when I was in your
kindergarten class 20 years ago--
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Let me stop you right there, Dominic.
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Oh. Uh-oh. Here we go.
Um, hey, Dom, you should probably--
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You know, I'm trying to keep my cool.
128
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But you got me so excited.
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My former student is now my colleague.
Oh, what a blessed day to be alive.
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- Yes!
- Hey, poindexter.
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Whatever this is, can we hurry it up?
Some of us got real jobs to get back to.
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Yeah, okay.
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Uh, to start us off,
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you're gonna share
something people know about you,
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and something they don't.
136
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So, I'll start.
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Uh, something people do know
about me is that I love my job.
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Uh, something you don't know is
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that I wear a cross,
but I don't believe in God.
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But he believes in you.
141
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I'm Barbara Howard,
and one thing you all know about me is
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I have a very strong and loving
relationship with God and Gerald.
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Oh, but one thing you don't know is
I never use the Lord's name in vain.
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Mm-mmm.
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Melissa.
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- Sweet baby Jesus...
- It doesn't count 'cause it's a baby.
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So, sure.
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Uh, something that you know about me is
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you already know everything
you need to know about me.
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Something you might not know about me is
that I will smack you in the mouth.
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Okay.
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Uh, Mr. Johnson.
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Something you know about me is
I used to work at Chippendales.
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Hey, hey, hey.
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Something you don't know is
I swam an entire triathlon.
156
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- Well, that's just an "athalon."
- Wait, why swam?
157
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,736
Easier than riding a kite.
158
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I think you mean a bike.
159
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,324
I wouldn't know. Never rode one.
That's why I swam the whole thing.
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00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:12,575
What do you mean you never rode one?
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You have a Tour de France trophy
in your closet.
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That's for culture,
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which you'd know if you...
if you took the time to admire it.
164
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I'm sorry to interrupt,
but w-what's that smell?
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- I love this game.
- Oh, yeah.
166
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Uh, it smells like dead squirrel.
167
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,174
- Ah, y-yeah.
- No, it's raccoons.
168
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:29,467
- It's raccoons.
- Oh, no.
169
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I... I know what that smell is. It's Morton.
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It's not me.
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Although it does smell like gas.
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I told you a professional needs
to look at that stove.
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Probably is Morton's nasty ass,
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but I'll go check it out.
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Well, I smell a little somethin'-somethin'
but nothing too crazy, right?
176
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Right?
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Oh, damn.
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00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:03,835
Oh, damn!
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00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,463
Okay, who would like to go next?
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00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:09,257
Nobody panic, but I'm gonna need
everybody to leave with love.
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Outside. Immediately, lovingly.
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Did I mention I was in love?
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00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:14,846
Who else got something to live for?
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00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:16,264
- What?
- Let's go. Come on.
185
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:22,145
All right. So, the district will have
someone out here to fix the gas leak,
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00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,980
but what it won't be able to fix is
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00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:27,442
the fractured moral infrastructure
of this school.
188
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,986
Now, split up into five groups.
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00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:34,324
Each one will have a different activity
that I will walk you through.
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00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,327
Look, the sooner we finish this,
191
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,996
the sooner you'll be able
to get back to your day.
192
00:09:40,497 --> 00:09:42,874
All right, so what is this?
Some kind of metaphor
193
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,043
about how we need
to jump-start our school year?
194
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,754
No, I just didn't realize
how many people there would be,
195
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,047
and those were in my trunk.
196
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:56,012
You are welcome to come to me
with any problem or concern.
197
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,348
Big or small, I am here to help.
198
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,100
She does have an office hour though.
199
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:03,853
So, you might wanna, you know, store
a bunch of problems over several weeks.
200
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:07,148
But if I'm in the office,
those hours are open.
201
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,567
In fact, let me just give you my cell.
202
00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:12,320
What the heck?
Just giving that sucker away for free?
203
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,155
What?
204
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:17,033
You mad 'cause your real mom left you,
and now your fake mom is leaving you too?
205
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,743
No, it's just...
206
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:22,247
Barb's all happy now, which is great,
207
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:25,458
but this guy is getting the Barb
I had to work three years for.
208
00:10:26,084 --> 00:10:28,795
Besides, I'm supposed to be the recipient
to her mentorship, you know.
209
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,797
The up-and-comer to her veteran ways.
210
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,634
The Scrappy-Doo to her Scoobs.
Now, he's Scrappy? I just...
211
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,969
Ooh!
212
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:41,432
Way to go, hoopers. A fun new wrinkle is
to try with your eyes closed.
213
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:44,102
And what else is left up for grabs
in the Mystery Gang, you know?
214
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:49,524
Because Gregory's Fred,
and Jacob is Velma, and Melissa's Daphne.
215
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:53,778
I'm Daphne. Oh, my God, Janine.
Your perception is damningly awful.
216
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,114
My point is, who am I at Abbott now?
217
00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,033
Who am I?
218
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:04,664
Hey. You know, I was thinking
about what you said about the triathlon.
219
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:08,459
- You really can't ride a bike?
- Never had time to learn.
220
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,379
That is wild.
You've lived such a full life.
221
00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:13,673
I just don't know
how riding a bike got skipped over.
222
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:15,592
I worked a lot as a kid.
223
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:19,012
Well, if you want,
I can teach you how to ride a bike.
224
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,139
It's never too late to learn.
225
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,725
- What about your group?
- They're fine.
226
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:26,853
Gregory, um, which direction do I turn?
227
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,479
Uh, Gregory?
228
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:29,981
Middle schoolers, huh?
229
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,400
Surprised you didn't mention it
all summer since, you know,
230
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:34,736
I teach middle school
and, well, we live together,
231
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,112
so we see each other every day.
232
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,615
Well, what's to mention? Kids are kids.
The only difference is the math.
233
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,658
I spent the summer learning
to do that, so...
234
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,869
Well, there's a lot more
to it than math, okay?
235
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:46,039
Preteens are very different
than second graders.
236
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,791
Uh, not really.
Just add a few years and puberty.
237
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,044
I talk to the older girls all the time.
238
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:55,673
Talking is great. Talking is fun.
But teaching...
239
00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:59,260
The second you become their teacher,
you become their enemy. Right, Morton?
240
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:00,720
They're gonna eat you alive.
241
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:05,183
Okay, no offense,
but this sounds like a you two problem.
242
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:09,729
Okay, well,
you have no idea what they're capable of.
243
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,689
Yeah, you want a taste?
244
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:15,902
Aight, gross, but yeah. Do your worst.
245
00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:21,241
Yeah! Craig, we finished in what
I can only imagine is record time.
246
00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:24,244
Amazing.
You'll never guess what level two is.
247
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,162
Don't tell me. It's reverse.
248
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,538
It's reverse.
249
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:31,292
Yeah! Look alive, people.
Reverse, reverse.
250
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:34,254
Okay. So, I'm young enough
to be the ingenue,
251
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,797
but that's been usurped.
252
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,967
Barbara's doing
the optimistic-and-positive thing.
253
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,346
There's not a grump on the first floor.
I could be the downstairs grump.
254
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,266
Now see, if you had a better personality,
you wouldn't have to search for one.
255
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,268
You could use that time to find a man.
256
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:51,020
Okay, you know that I'm dating Gregory.
257
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,356
That's still happening?
258
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,067
Sorry, I haven't been able to keep up
ever since I started dating
259
00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,570
the world's only real man, O'Shon.
260
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,906
Good for you. No one cares.
261
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,701
That was my attempt
at being a grump.
262
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,286
I may have overshot it a bit.
263
00:13:06,869 --> 00:13:09,706
All right. I got us a bike.
264
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,541
Okay, Mr. Johnson, get on up here.
265
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,918
Maybe not right now.
My knees aren't feeling so good.
266
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,878
It's actually better
for your knees than walking.
267
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:18,589
Well, I forgot my baseball card
to put in the spokes.
268
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,969
All right, come on, no excuses, okay?
269
00:13:23,052 --> 00:13:25,263
I'll even hold on
until you get the hang of it.
270
00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:29,058
Okay? Here we go. Yeah, there you go.
271
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,437
All right, there it is.
272
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,856
- Promise not to let go.
- I promise.
273
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,608
Okay.
274
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:39,235
Pinky promise?
275
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,112
Well, I can't now,
I'm holding on to the bike.
276
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,699
Look, these kids are mean.
277
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:47,118
One told me,
"That's why your bitch left you, bitch."
278
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,454
I think you're overdoing it on the B-word.
279
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:50,872
I don't think he's doing it enough.
280
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,124
Hey, why'd you rat out your brother
and get him locked up?
281
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,834
What? That never happened.
282
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,669
And scene. I was being a kid.
283
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:00,089
We live in a post-truth landscape
and these kids hit below the belt.
284
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,592
Which is where you haven't been touched
in years, snitch,
285
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:03,676
unless you count Sweet Cheeks.
286
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,137
You keep my son's name
out your filthy mouth.
287
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,265
And don't even think about talking back
to them, or you will get written up.
288
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,726
Every day is
like an episode of Scared Straight!
289
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:12,810
Take your shoes off!
290
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:15,521
- Okay, who are we in this scenario?
- Everyone.
291
00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,107
You still got me?
292
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:19,525
Hey, I got you. I got you.
293
00:14:19,609 --> 00:14:21,694
And you have to handle
all of this while teaching.
294
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:25,281
And if even one kid gets the best of you,
that could be a wrap for the period.
295
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,116
- Or the year.
- Oh, no. Uh-uh.
296
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,743
These kids are gonna... [bleep] ...respect me.
297
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,745
Uh-uh, don't curse. They will report ya.
298
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,498
- Yeah, I'll... [bleep] ...report you.
- He just cursed.
299
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:35,500
He can do that, you see.
He's a little boy.
300
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,543
Actually, I'm a little girl.
You ain't hard, homey!
301
00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,837
- Okay.
- That's right. You ain't hard.
302
00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,589
Just keep moving forward!
303
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,257
- What?
- You're doing great!
304
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,801
- Eight.
- Eh, a seven.
305
00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:47,053
- What are we doing now?
- Rating you to your face.
306
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:50,431
Have you ever been called a one
on a day you just knew you were a ten?
307
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,141
- You're a one!
- One.
308
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,684
- One!
- Okay, stop it!
309
00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,394
- Stop!
- Stop?
310
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,188
No, no, no.
Don't stop. Walk forward.
311
00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,273
- There you go. You got it.
- No, I told you...
312
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,733
- Turn left!
- Left?
313
00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,277
No, no, no. Go-Go right.
Go right! No, that...
314
00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:09,742
You promised.
You promised you wouldn't let me fall.
315
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,746
Looks like we're gonna be here all day.
316
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,289
Mm-mmm-mmm.
317
00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:17,416
New year, same old Abbott.
318
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:21,462
Mm-mmm... No, just at the top.
I don't have to do it twice.
319
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,924
You a organ donor, Gregory?
320
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,635
- Why?
- 'Cause whatever I break,
321
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,555
you're gonna donate to me,
and I like those shoulders, Gregory.
322
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:33,599
Well, today was supposed
to be about building trust
323
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,726
and working together as a team,
324
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:39,105
and the only thing
you accomplished together is
325
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,065
how to fail in unique ways.
326
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,316
Progress.
327
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,027
And now you get to start over
and do it again.
328
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:48,156
Well, I, for one, can't stand this.
329
00:15:48,239 --> 00:15:49,740
Right? 'Cause this guy sucks.
330
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:53,661
You all suck.
And this whole day sucks, right, guys?
331
00:15:53,744 --> 00:15:56,789
Well, it may suck,
but if we don't finish today,
332
00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,667
we can always come back on the weekend.
333
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,961
- No.
- Oh, okay.
334
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,088
Hey, Ava, listen up. Um...
335
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,632
You know, I was thinking
about this whole grade switch thing,
336
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:09,802
and I think it might be better
if Janine did the swap instead of me,
337
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,680
'cause, uh, Sweet Cheeks is
afraid of heights,
338
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:15,892
so for him it's ground floor or nothing.
339
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,562
Um, no, guinea pigs are from the Andes.
They're not afraid of heights.
340
00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,231
All right, listen. I...
341
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:29,280
A change this big, I just don't know
if I'm, like, exactly up for it.
342
00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:34,577
"Zero problem whatsoever. Bring it on.
343
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,246
Those kids are about to get
a lesson in learning lessons,
344
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,623
and you can quote me on that."
345
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,584
That's what you said in June
when I asked you about this.
346
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,587
There's no going back.
Here, this will cheer you up.
347
00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,675
- That's O'Shon shirtless in Wildwood.
- It is.
348
00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,136
No, actually it kinda helps.
349
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,348
- It sure does.
- Good job.
350
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:58,226
Hey, Mel. So, about before...
351
00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:01,854
You were totally busting my chops
about how the sixth graders act, right?
352
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,564
- I knew it.
- No, we weren't.
353
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:07,360
And those were just the experiences
that I haven't repressed yet.
354
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,195
Morton...
355
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,947
Sorry.
356
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:14,742
Janine. I could really use
a positive spin on my situation.
357
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:15,952
You're screwed.
358
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,788
- You are not the two, you are the...
- One.
359
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,083
Girlfriend, I have
seen you handle challenges
360
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,544
far more difficult
than a bunch of sixth graders.
361
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:26,963
You got this.
362
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,924
Thanks, Barb. I appreciate it.
363
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:33,177
Hey, you wouldn't wanna take a shot
at the sixth grade this year, would you?
364
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,431
I'd rather retire.
365
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:41,227
I'm so lucky to be around
such a veteran like Ms. Howard.
366
00:17:41,310 --> 00:17:44,021
- Duh. She's the greatest teacher ever.
- Right?
367
00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,691
I just wish I could ask her
a couple more questions.
368
00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:49,110
But I don't want to keep bothering her.
369
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,196
You think maybe I could text her later?
370
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,907
Oh, my God, we get it.
You have her cell phone number.
371
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,164
What'd you wanna ask her?
372
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:05,126
Ah, it's pretty basic. I just...
373
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,879
Should I take roll
as soon as class starts in the morning?
374
00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:11,716
Oh, no. Ten-minute grace period.
375
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:14,677
A lot of the kids take SEPTA.
It's a whole thing.
376
00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,263
I learned the hard way in my first year.
377
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,807
I'm sure I'm gonna have to learn
the hard way a thousand times.
378
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,684
Oh, yeah. You definitely will.
379
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:25,855
And you're gonna wanna scream
and contemplate your life choices, and...
380
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,356
it's all normal.
381
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,152
If you have any more questions
and-and Barbara's busy,
382
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,029
you can always just ask me.
383
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,239
I appreciate that.
384
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:36,490
It's what I'm here for.
385
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,328
That is who I am now.
I don't have to be a grump.
386
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:42,580
I can be me and be a mentor.
387
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,374
I'm gonna put the me in m-mentor.
388
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:48,711
"Me-ntor." The teacher has become...
389
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:50,755
the teacher.
390
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,757
I need to get out of the sun.
391
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,592
I just can't ride a bike, okay?
392
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:57,678
Look, they say you fall down seven times,
you stand up eight.
393
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,430
I gotta fall six more times?
394
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,308
Hey, how's it going over here?
395
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:04,602
- Bad.
- He's scared to get back on the bike.
396
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:08,731
Okay, well, I could help.
I'm a brand new me.
397
00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,400
- What you mean? You sound the same.
- Oh. You missed a whole thing.
398
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,903
I went through a bunch of different
personalities, landed here.
399
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,821
- You still sound the same.
- Uh, I'll tell you about it later.
400
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,406
- Okay.
- But, Mr. Johnson,
401
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:22,036
I know you can ride the bike,
because I believe in you.
402
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,414
I know what to do.
403
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:28,709
Uh, everyone, stop what you're doing
right now and come over here.
404
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,544
Mr. Johnson needs our help.
405
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:33,464
No, no, please don't do that. Please.
406
00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:36,634
If we don't finish,
you have to come in on the weekend.
407
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:39,512
You look like a guy
that loves coming in on weekends.
408
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,098
Monday through Friday,
the best days of the week to you, huh?
409
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,017
- No, my weekends rule.
- Yeah, okay.
410
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,894
All right, let's go, Mr. J.
411
00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:48,729
Yeah, what's the worst that could happen?
412
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:50,022
I fall over and die.
413
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:52,566
Well, that's just... fair.
414
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:57,655
Look, Mr. Johnson, if you fall,
we will catch you. I promise.
415
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:59,281
Okay? All right.
416
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,701
Ready to get back up on this horse?
417
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,620
Riding a horse is easy.
It's bikes I'm afraid of.
418
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,747
Hey, you got this, all right?
419
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:09,667
All right, here we go. Ready? Here...
420
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,961
- Come on, Mr. J.
- Go, Mr. J.
421
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,676
Yay!
422
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,053
Yeah!
423
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,514
Go, Mr. J!
424
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,641
Go, Mr. J!
425
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,978
Uh, I feel like we're starting
to lose focus.
426
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:32,189
You all need to prove your virtuousness.
427
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,274
Craig.
428
00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,653
Isn't that
what we're doing right here, huh?
429
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:40,406
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
430
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:44,368
Well, maybe this qualifies
as completion of team building.
431
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:46,078
- Wait, really?
- Yes.
432
00:20:46,162 --> 00:20:48,456
Also, I have tickets
to the Ren Faire this weekend,
433
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,499
so I'm gonna need this to count.
434
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,042
Okay.
435
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,503
Fixed the leak.
436
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,798
Good news,
killed a bunch of mice in your walls.
437
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,009
Bad news, ain't my job to get rid of 'em.
438
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:03,804
{\an8}Worst news,
I noticed you have HVAC issues.
439
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:05,598
{\an8}You mean, like, AC and heating stuff?
440
00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:10,019
{\an8}Yep, and you're not gonna have any of that
if you don't get a specialist in here.
441
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,520
{\an8}You got someone to handle this?
442
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,232
{\an8}Well, I'm sure Mr. Johnson's on top of it.
He's around here somewhere.
443
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,236
{\an8}Gregory didn't teach me how to stop!
444
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,491
{\an8}- Just use the handlebar brake!
- It's a fixie! Just stop pedaling!