1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,502 Duck, duck, duck... 2 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:05,588 Listen, I know it's a lot to commit to, Barb, but seriously, you're missing out. 3 00:00:05,589 --> 00:00:08,591 Melissa, I cannot possibly watch 500 episodes 4 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:10,343 of a British reality show, 5 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,512 even if it does deal with my favorite emotion, love, 6 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,390 on my favorite landform, an island. 7 00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:17,934 Duck, duck, goose is the perfect game. 8 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:20,144 Yeah, first of all, contained to a small area. 9 00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:22,021 - Only one kid talks every round. - Yeah. 10 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:25,316 And then they tire themselves out running around in a circle two at a time. 11 00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:27,318 Plus we can watch them and catch up at the same time. 12 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,778 - Yeah, perfect game. - Perfect. 13 00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:31,906 Ladies, can we please stop leaving our windows open. 14 00:00:31,907 --> 00:00:33,032 There's a bird in the hallway. 15 00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,911 We are in the gym. I think that's a hallway problem. 16 00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:39,330 Duck, duck, duck... 17 00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:42,708 - Can you please just pick one? - Duck... Bird! 18 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:46,504 It's okay. It's okay. 19 00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,298 What the hell? 20 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,343 And now it is a kitchen problem. 21 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,470 And then every once in a while, the hottest piece 22 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:57,515 you have ever seen in your life enters the villa. 23 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:58,849 These are called bombshells. 24 00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,727 This is Callum. 25 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:02,353 Hang on. Hang on. 26 00:01:15,367 --> 00:01:17,243 - My water broke. - I told y'all she's pregnant. 27 00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:22,081 No. Okay, let me clarify, the water in my apartment is not working. 28 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,916 Something about the pipes. 29 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,419 Game night's canceled. 30 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,254 {\an8}Not so fast, milady. I can host. 31 00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,797 {\an8}- No, you can't. - No, I can't. 32 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:32,009 {\an8}What did we talk about? Go stand up for yourself. 33 00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:35,636 {\an8}Melissa, I can do what I want in my room. 34 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:37,138 {\an8}- It's my room. - It's her room. 35 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,640 {\an8}Damn it. Oh, God, this sucks. 36 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,892 {\an8}I was really looking forward to hanging out with Elijah. 37 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:43,728 {\an8} It's a classic love story. 38 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,813 {\an8}Boy sees ex at karaoke bar. 39 00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,524 {\an8}Boy meets new boy. Boy brings that boy to game night. 40 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,985 {\an8} Somebody write the movie already. 41 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:52,654 {\an8}You know what? I'll host. 42 00:01:53,363 --> 00:01:55,614 {\an8}But you said you don't believe in friendship in the home. 43 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,701 {\an8}I know, but I'm a little bit more open now, and Janine has said that 44 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,494 {\an8}my apartment should be in Architectural Digest. 45 00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:05,082 {\an8}Yes, my second favorite magazine to read at the dentist's office after Highlights. 46 00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:06,209 {\an8}I've decided to be excited. 47 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,338 {\an8}Additionally, I have decided this is going to be great. 48 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,340 {\an8}Whoo. 49 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,551 {\an8}Okay, so Gregory's home is very Architectural Digest 50 00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:18,012 {\an8}in that there are several bowls of limes 51 00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,598 {\an8}and it looks like maybe no one's ever lived there. 52 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:23,142 {\an8} And the furniture, it's very firm. 53 00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:26,063 {\an8}Oh, I think we can all survive some firm-iture. 54 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:31,108 {\an8} It's not just the furniture, you know, it's just not that cozy. 55 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:33,235 {\an8}And I never said anything because how do you tell someone that 56 00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,779 {\an8}- when you first start dating? - No, you don't. 57 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,114 {\an8}- You ignore it and hope it'll go away. - Exactly. 58 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,908 {\an8}But now it's too late to say anything. 59 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,576 {\an8}Well, it's a big deal that he invited people over. 60 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,911 {\an8}You don't want to scare him out of it. 61 00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,371 {\an8}Right. And I won't. I won't. 62 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,456 {\an8}I'll just make a few light suggestions, right? 63 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:48,167 {\an8}Some here and theres, bits and bobs... ...pots and pans 64 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,835 {\an8}'cause he doesn't have any. 65 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,296 {\an8}Well, just be gentle. You know he is so babygirl. 66 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:53,382 {\an8} Yes. 67 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,717 {\an8} Rain next week. 68 00:02:56,718 --> 00:02:59,095 {\an8}- Glad I won't be here. - Where do you think you're going? 69 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,097 Nobody told me trash was taking a week off. 70 00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:04,558 I'm going to New Orleans tomorrow, as I've told you several times. 71 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,269 What I wouldn't give for a vacation in New Orleans. 72 00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:10,773 Beignet in one hand, Irish coffee in the other. 73 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:15,528 By the way, only thing the Irish ever got right besides red hair and Colin Farrell. 74 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,863 - What about your brother Seamus? - Meh. 75 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:21,325 My first vacation in 30 years. I made sure to secure a middle seat. 76 00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,119 Two different shoulders to nap on. 77 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,537 Well, do you have a REAL ID? 78 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,497 You have to have one to fly now. 79 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:28,040 Of course my ID is real. 80 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,376 I look like a 16-year-old trying to buy a BuzzBall? 81 00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,878 No, they're talking about these fancy new IDs 82 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,297 that you have to go down to the DMV and get them. 83 00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:37,633 Oh, man, it's always something. I'll go down there after work. 84 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:40,177 I'll call my pickleball league, tell them I can't make it. 85 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:42,012 Well, Gerald and I are traveling for the holidays, 86 00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,722 and I've been putting off getting mine, 87 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:46,851 so why don't we go down to the DMV together and just get it out the way. 88 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,227 Yeah, I might as well do it too. 89 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,146 I mean, misery now or misery later, right? 90 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,440 I'll go too. I'm looking scrumptious today, 91 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,900 and my ID is expiring soon, so time for a new pic. 92 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,527 - I'll drive. - Dibs. 93 00:03:56,528 --> 00:03:59,614 - Shotgun! - Dibs on shotgun. Amateurs. 94 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,075 All right, you guys, have a good day. 95 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,535 Um, Gregory. Hi. 96 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,704 Uh, Jacob wanted to know what to bring. 97 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:09,582 Um, I told him he could bring cups. He said cake. 98 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,792 We settled on cupcake, but I just wanted to double-check with you. 99 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,295 Um, he doesn't need to bring anything. I got it covered. 100 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,088 I'm sending out a Google form to everyone now. 101 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,717 Oh, fun. Everybody loves a pre-party form. 102 00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,553 Maybe I can come by a little bit earlier and help set up. 103 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:26,640 No need. I'm going to the store after work and the apartment's already clean. 104 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,559 - I got this. - Oh, no, I know. 105 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:31,437 Just hosting can be really overwhelming. 106 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,147 Just wanna make sure you don't overlook anything. 107 00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,732 Oh, I won't. According to my calculations, 108 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:38,068 I have three extra minutes for silent contemplation of game strategy. 109 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:41,573 All right. Maybe I'll bring a couple of throw pillows. Or a candle. 110 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,408 I feel like if I need it, it's in my checklist. 111 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,744 You know, I'm actually really surprised I've never hosted before. 112 00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,205 It's so many logistics. 113 00:04:48,747 --> 00:04:50,164 - Loving it. - I love chips. 114 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,541 - Chips are so good. - Yeah. I know. 115 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,376 You think you're gonna have any chips at the party? 116 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,711 - Come on now. - Okay. 117 00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:58,005 What kind of party would it be without chickpea chips. 118 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,632 Chickpea what? 119 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,425 You know there's three grams of protein per serving? 120 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,927 - No, I didn't know that. - Mm-hmm. 121 00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,011 - Ah. - Mm-hmm. 122 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,555 Love to learn. 123 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,767 B10. 124 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,686 Read it and weep, suckers. 125 00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:14,730 I'm B12. They're already at B10. 126 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:19,276 Mr. Johnson, are you sure that you have all of the proper documentation? 127 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,904 Yeah, 'cause one of those folders is just signed headshots. 128 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,864 I got everything I could ever need to prove I am 129 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,991 who the American government thinks I am. 130 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:28,410 I, for one, I'm very proud of you for taking this vacation. 131 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:32,665 It's very easy for us older folks to get wrapped up in the work 132 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,668 that we forget to make time for ourselves. 133 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,961 And you need the rest. 134 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:39,421 Thank you, but I won't be resting. 135 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:41,215 I will be tearing it up. 136 00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:44,135 Ah. I hate it when he tries to sound like the kids. 137 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,095 B15. 138 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:49,056 - Oh. That's me. - What the helly? 139 00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:52,977 Hello, I'm Mr. Johnson. 140 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:54,895 - You got a first name, Mr. Johnson? - It's-- 141 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:57,231 Never mind. I see it, but this isn't gonna work. 142 00:05:57,232 --> 00:05:58,983 You filled this out with blue ink. 143 00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:01,735 - Please fill it out again with black ink. - Lady, I got arthritis. 144 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,863 I don't know how many forms I got left in me. 145 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,990 Did the arthritis keep you from following the instructions? 146 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,950 - Next. - So rude. 147 00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,245 - What is this, the post office? - You watch your mouth. 148 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,788 Welcome to Gregory's goofy game night. 149 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:13,873 Aw. 150 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,416 I-I actually have my party shirt on already. 151 00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:17,418 It's... it looks black, but it's actually really dark blue. 152 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,920 Oh, I see. 153 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,255 Oh. 154 00:06:21,256 --> 00:06:23,841 I should have come early. Yeah, it's okay. 155 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,551 We still have enough time to get things ready. 156 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,136 What do you mean? It is ready. 157 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,221 - I-I have the three S's. - Oh. 158 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:32,726 - Seating, snacks and sounds. - Ah. 159 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,352 These are binaural beats for concentration. 160 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:38,023 - Oh. Okay. It's great. - Yeah. 161 00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:43,736 Do you think there are enough seats for everyone? 'Cause it's just the couple... 162 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,738 Uh. Yeah. We have... The other chair rolled away. 163 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:46,865 Oh. 164 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,742 - Ah. - Skrrt. 165 00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:50,826 - Crossover. - Mm-hmm. 166 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,910 Oh. 167 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,912 Uh, can you make sure the other chair doesn't roll away? 168 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:54,955 - The ball? - Yeah, yeah. 169 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,498 - Just put a hand on it. - Okay. Yeah. 170 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,666 Okay, well. 171 00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,084 - Erika. - Hey, Gregory. 172 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,503 - Hey, girl. - Hey. 173 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:04,131 - So this is your place. - Yeah, yeah. 174 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,092 - So, um, sterile. - Mmm. 175 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,345 - Almost like a facility. - Thank you. 176 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,555 - Uh, can I get you anything to drink? - Oh, I would love one. 177 00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,475 - Filtered or bottled? - Filtered alcohol? 178 00:07:14,684 --> 00:07:16,810 - Oh. You're funny. You're really funny. - Ah. 179 00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:19,188 People tell you you're funny all the time, don't they? 180 00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:20,773 Look, since you don't have a preference, 181 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:24,693 I will bring you both filtered and bottled because that's the kind of host I am. 182 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,862 - Great host. - But keep the jokes coming. 183 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,656 Yes, I'm looking at you for the funny tonight. 184 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,616 She's hilarious. 185 00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,076 Girl, what the hell is going on? 186 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,661 This is Gregory's first time hosting. 187 00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:35,663 I don't want to discourage him. Please be nice. 188 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:38,082 So don't tell him his apartment is the physical embodiment 189 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,501 of Edvard Munch's The Scream? 190 00:07:40,585 --> 00:07:42,294 What? A bitch can't like art? 191 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,421 No, you can. 192 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,714 B11. 193 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,675 Ooh. I gotta be next. 194 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,135 Are you looking at mug shots for inspiration? 195 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,971 Well, they use the same camera and lighting setup here as they do 196 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:55,724 when you get booked, so mug shots are the perfect reference photos. 197 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:56,892 G26. 198 00:07:56,893 --> 00:08:00,187 Finished. I'm gonna turn the Big Easy into the big sneezy. 199 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,773 Wait, how... how are you next? It's supposed to be me. 200 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:05,359 You people on some kind of bingo system? 201 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,153 Pretty privilege. 202 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,364 Finished, in black ink. 203 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,658 - You want a cookie? - I'll take two. 204 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,744 Paper looks good and I see your document from list A, 205 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,037 but where's something from list B? 206 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,206 Only brought documents from list A. 207 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,333 You need one document from list A and list B, 208 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,627 or one document from list C. It's and/or. 209 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,796 I haven't seen Andor. It's a Rogue One. 210 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:27,548 So you're unprepared and uncultured. 211 00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,508 If you can't produce that document, 212 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,594 we won't be able to get you your REAL ID today. 213 00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,095 Next. 214 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:35,849 Looks like the only jazz I'll be singing is the blues. 215 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,351 That was pretty good. 216 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,730 This is administrative injustice. 217 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:44,940 - It's all right, ladies. - Oh, it is not all right. 218 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:48,819 You know they can't close until the last person leaves, and we are staying. 219 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:52,656 Well, I'm not really invested, but Barb's my ride, so... 220 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,824 M44. 221 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,035 Oh, that's me. 222 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,120 You are getting on that plane, Mr. Johnson, 223 00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,582 or my name isn't Barbara Howard. 224 00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,042 I ought to run for office. 225 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,711 She got my two votes. 226 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:07,756 Hello. 227 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,383 You know, while I have you here, 228 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,888 I'd like to talk to you about my friend, Mr. Johnson. 229 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:18,974 That man, he needs a break. 230 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,809 Ma'am, you're gonna need to take the written exam. 231 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,561 - Line's over there. - Excuse me? 232 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,689 Your license expired two years ago. 233 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:26,648 Excuse me. 234 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,485 Are you holding car keys right now? 235 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,320 Did you drive here? 236 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,780 Excuse me? 237 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,073 Oh, you can't hear me? 238 00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:36,659 I'm gonna put you down for a hearing test as well. 239 00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:43,457 Oh, where did you get this firm couch, Gregory? 240 00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:48,253 I got it from this place in Baltimore, but when I first got it, it was way too soft, 241 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,923 so I just went in there and removed some of the unnecessary filling. 242 00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,425 - It's firm. - So you unupholstered it? 243 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:57,514 I don't wanna make it sound fancier than it was, but, yeah, I guess I did. 244 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,724 Well, I'll tell you what, I am having a blast. 245 00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,935 Okay, well, uh, maybe now is a good time. 246 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:06,021 I saw this thing online. They said it was really good for parties. 247 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,315 Jacob and Elijah, I feel like you guys are really gonna love this. 248 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:12,278 I wasn't sure if it would be ready in time, but I just checked and it's, uh... 249 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,197 It's smelling pretty ripe. 250 00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:17,574 - Did he just say ripe or right? - I don't know. 251 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,868 And, Erika, you're gonna love this, okay? It's got alcohol in it. 252 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,620 Ooh, thank God. 253 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,580 It's homemade kombucha. 254 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,873 Right? So who wants some? 255 00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,291 - I do. - Okay. 256 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:30,087 I'm low-key kind of offended by that question 'cause 257 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,005 of course I want some. 258 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,549 Where is the kombucha? 259 00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:36,678 - Come on, now. This is my guy. - Yeah! 260 00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,929 Jacob, thank you so much for filling him in 261 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:41,140 - on the whole being chill thing. - Oh, I didn't say anything. 262 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,976 His social and emotional IQ is through the roof. 263 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,310 - Oh. - Either that or he's way weirder 264 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,395 than I thought. 265 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,355 Should I just bring a pitcher out? Yeah? 266 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,357 - Yeah, babe, bring a pitcher out. - Right. For everybody? 267 00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,861 - You want some? I'ma get you some. - Bring it out. Yes! 268 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,322 Now, who is that? 269 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,577 - Gregory! - Simon. 270 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,744 Didn't match my energy, but, yeah, it's me. 271 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,746 That's because you didn't fill out the attendance form. 272 00:11:04,747 --> 00:11:07,125 - That's okay. - There's my queen. 273 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,334 Be nice. 274 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,420 We're trying to pretend like this is all normal and good. 275 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,463 Okay, great, and you guys can read Simon the rules. 276 00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,215 - Yeah? That'll be fun. - Yeah, definitely. 277 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:16,675 Unless you've already played Soil Erosion. 278 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,844 Is that on Xbox? 279 00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:20,971 - You are hilarious. - I told you. 280 00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:23,141 - The two of y'all are... Right? - I told you. 281 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:26,351 You're so funny. I see why this works. 282 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:31,148 "At a crosswalk, you must: A, increase your speed." 283 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,317 Yep, that's it. First one's always "A." 284 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,236 I don't know about you two, but I am not getting back into Barb's car. 285 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:38,447 She just said you should speed up at the crosswalk. 286 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,657 It's only a problem if you're in a crosswalk. 287 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:41,867 12B. 288 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,660 Oh, that's me. 289 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:47,122 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know where you think you're going, buddy. 290 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:51,419 No, no, no, I'm 12B. You're B12, like the vitamin. 291 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:54,463 - This place hates Italians. - I'm Italian. 292 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,048 This place hates women. 293 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,466 12C. 294 00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:01,053 - Oh. Sorry, Mellie Mel, that's me. - Sell me your ticket. 295 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,639 No. I've always wanted a mug shot, but they will never catch your girl, 296 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,225 so... ...this is the next best thing. 297 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:06,850 Don't you worry, Mr. J. 298 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,144 I will talk to them and get you on that flight to New England. 299 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:10,647 - New Orleans. - Wherever. 300 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,317 They won't say no to me. This face card never declines. 301 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,987 "If you see livestock on the road, you should..." 302 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,240 Now why in the world would I be driving on a farm? 303 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,242 Thanks for making room for me, Gregory. 304 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,912 Now I get to sit next to E baby on this, uh, weight bench. 305 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:31,833 Hey, as a heads-up, bathroom's out of paper towels. 306 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,169 Well, there's always the environmentally conscious move 307 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,504 of putting out a hand towel. 308 00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:37,965 Multiple sets of hands on one towel is crazy, 309 00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,134 but I can't believe I ran out of paper towels. 310 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,637 Um. You know what? It's okay. 311 00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:46,306 Just go ahead and, uh, wipe your hands on my shirt. 312 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,391 It's terry cloth. It's fine. 313 00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,352 - Oh, I don't wanna do that. - Do it. 314 00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:52,021 So, you're just gonna be a hand towel? 315 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:54,231 What's up, Jeff? 316 00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,942 While I'm here, I wanted to talk to you about an employee of mine. 317 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,652 That is not a sentient bowling ball. 318 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:01,446 That is Mr. Johnson, and he has a flight to catch tomorrow 319 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,531 and the only thing stopping him 320 00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,158 from a much needed vacation in New Hampshire is a REAL ID. 321 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:06,452 So if you could just help me-- 322 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,870 You didn't just take a picture without a countdown. 323 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,038 - Next. - No. 324 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,082 Go ahead and delete that one 'cause we're gonna do it again. 325 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:13,458 Three... 326 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,835 You didn't even get to two! 327 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,086 I've got a long line, ma'am. 328 00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,047 And it's gonna get longer if you don't "three, two, one" another picture. 329 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,634 Hey, yo, stop playing with me. What the-- 330 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,388 Okay. "While you were asleep, a rogue farmer snuck in and tilled your fields. 331 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:28,056 Go back three spaces." Damn it. 332 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:30,058 Are you tired of seeing crack 333 00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,893 just because you want your water back? 334 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,229 At Gentleman's Plumbing, all of our plumbers wear belts, 335 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:35,772 and that's a guarantee. 336 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,775 - It's free if there's ads. - I mean, money ain't gonna save itself. 337 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:40,902 Yeah, and you know, a lot of the times I think 338 00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,906 that the ads are better than the music. 339 00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:47,117 Okay, I know. 340 00:13:47,118 --> 00:13:50,620 When I get up there, I'm gonna handle it, okay? I promise. 341 00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:54,499 I try not to be that kind of Karen white woman, 342 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,379 but every once in a while, the universe just... ...forces my hand. 343 00:13:58,963 --> 00:14:00,882 Now calling circle four dot. 344 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:04,092 What the... "Circle four dot"? 345 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:08,180 What in the Fred Flintstone... ...is that? It's not a number. 346 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,683 - I'm gonna burn this place to the ground. - That works for me. 347 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:14,352 Oh, what a wicked machine. 348 00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:17,397 Come on, man. Just take another picture. 349 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,107 You think my man can't hack this little system? 350 00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,402 - That would be a federal offense. - So? He's a member of Anonymous, 351 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,404 but he's so fine they won't even let him wear a mask. 352 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:26,907 Oh, you think I can't jump over this counter? 353 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:28,950 Y'all said you could help me get to New Orleans, 354 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:31,036 but you're just a bunch of jambalayas. 355 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:33,498 Damn... ...I'm on fire. 356 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,875 - Oh. You got jokes. - Gotta have jokes in here. 357 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:41,213 I think I'm gonna use my soil coins to buy another cow. 358 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,715 As Doja Cat once said, "Mooo!" 359 00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:48,596 - Oh. What was that? - Uh. It's my air quality monitor. 360 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,931 Yeah, the CO2 levels are a little high. 361 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,308 I think the addition of Simon increased the concentration levels. 362 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,103 Oh, no. Why don't you tell your man to stop breathing so hard. 363 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:58,146 Why don't you tell your man to get a damn grip. 364 00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:00,148 - It's all right. I'll just open a window. - It's October. 365 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,525 Yeah, it's already 60 degrees in here. 366 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,693 If we're anti-window, I can get everybody masks. 367 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,320 - Just open the... ...window. - Okay. 368 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,405 Big money, big money, big money! 369 00:15:07,406 --> 00:15:09,867 Hey, this is fun, right? 370 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,077 Oh. 371 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,203 Oh, my God! What? 372 00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,705 Oh. Not again! 373 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,124 Let me take out my Merlin app. 374 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,084 Oh. Rock pigeon. 375 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:20,627 You didn't know that's a pigeon? 376 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,421 Okay, I got a game we can play. Two truths and a lie. 377 00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,507 Kombucha is not real alcohol, 378 00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:28,260 it's too damn cold in here, and this party sucks. 379 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:29,386 Erika. 380 00:15:29,387 --> 00:15:31,347 That's too many truths. She has to start over now. 381 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,598 Does my party suck? 382 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,726 No. No. 383 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,187 Big money, big money, big money. 384 00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:44,401 Why didn't you tell me you didn't think I should host? 385 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:46,987 You said I should have gone back-to-back in the Apartment of the Year Awards. 386 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:50,282 I know, and that doesn't even exist. It just... You seemed so excited to do it. 387 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:52,242 I'm not a kid. You can be honest with me. 388 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:55,203 - I want you to be comfortable here. - I-I am comfortable here. 389 00:15:55,204 --> 00:16:00,959 It's just I do think that you could use real chairs and consider a pillow. 390 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,461 And I think Jacob was onto something with that hand towel thing. 391 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,590 I just wish that I would just let you help from the beginning. 392 00:16:06,591 --> 00:16:09,176 If I just listened to you, maybe people would actually have fun. 393 00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:12,263 Well, it's okay because I listen to me. 394 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,098 I'm looking forward to finding out what that means. 395 00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,641 Come with me. 396 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,728 Oh, my God. Um, okay, it is a fun party. 397 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,688 - Uh. Oh. - Jesus. 398 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:22,939 Hey, guys. 399 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,691 - I wish you had more rooms. - Enjoy. 400 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,651 - B12. - That's me! 401 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:29,112 Okay, okay. I'm coming, I'm coming. 402 00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:31,156 Well, this was a bust. 403 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,867 Can't believe I let y'all talk me into wasting my time like this. 404 00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:37,537 Mr. Johnson, I'm sorry you're not gonna be able to take your vacation. 405 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,707 It's okay. I've gone 30 years without one. What's another 30? 406 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:46,963 Ticket, please. 407 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:50,342 Oh. Yes, yes, I had it in my pocket. 408 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,177 Sorry, but without a ticket, I can't help you. 409 00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:56,056 No, no, no, I'm B12. Please, please, you have to believe me. 410 00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:59,017 My mind is fractured. My soul is broken. 411 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,229 Darkness reigns supreme. 412 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:03,980 Welcome to the DMV. 413 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,900 Come on. It was... Oh, it's right there. 414 00:17:06,901 --> 00:17:10,111 Okay. No. No! 415 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:11,863 Excuse me. Excuse me, sir. 416 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,866 I'm going to need you to please empty out that vacuum cleaner. 417 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,826 No can do. That's trash. 418 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,287 - Mr. Ronson. - Mr. Johnson. 419 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:20,914 How you doing, man? 420 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,833 You left the school district and took your talents to the DMV? 421 00:17:23,834 --> 00:17:26,711 You know, it's a pretty good gig aside from all the red tape I have to vacuum up. 422 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,672 You two know each other. 423 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,549 I owe everything to this man standing right here. 424 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,217 When he found me, I was in a dark place. 425 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,468 He sure was. 426 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,178 Cleaning up the basement of a Sears. 427 00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:37,055 So what brings you to my sweeping ground? 428 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,890 Supposed to go on a little getaway tomorrow. 429 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:42,519 It'd be my first in 30 years, but they won't give me my REAL ID... 430 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,020 'cause I need some document. 431 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,648 Mr. Ronson, might it be possible for you 432 00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:49,402 to, uh, talk with your coworker over there? 433 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:51,611 Okay. 434 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,655 Hey, Tammy, what do you say 435 00:17:53,656 --> 00:17:55,282 - you'd help an old pal of mine out? - No. 436 00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:57,200 Well, that settles it. Let's get out of here. 437 00:17:57,201 --> 00:18:01,079 Okay. How about I tell everyone it was you that clogged the toilet. 438 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,249 Ooh. Damn, girl. 439 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,210 - You wouldn't. - Try me. 440 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:12,674 Oh. Looks like you've been approved for a REAL ID. 441 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:17,178 So, sir, if you just head over there, Jeff will take your photo. Okay? 442 00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,182 Wow, you're going to Newfoundland after all. 443 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:27,188 Tammy, might it be possible for you to look the other way on my written exam? 444 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,400 - I'm predisposed to failing. - No. 445 00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,611 You're gonna need to retake that. 446 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,822 You're driving, Melissa. 447 00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:38,576 - Some people, right? So... - No. 448 00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:41,120 I will see you in hell. 449 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,247 I'm already there. 450 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:47,792 - Add Britney, add Gaga, add Beyoncé. - Okay. Okay, could you slow down? 451 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:48,877 Oh. 452 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,462 Oh, Björk. 453 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,340 I'm finally starting to feel my fingers again. 454 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:55,050 How'd you get this into the car by yourself? 455 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,052 Oh. I didn't. I asked a stranger for help. 456 00:18:57,053 --> 00:18:58,178 Oh. I don't like that at all. 457 00:18:58,179 --> 00:18:59,512 There you go. 458 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:00,972 - Ooh. - Oh. 459 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,391 - Ladies first. - Jacob, I like this one. 460 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:04,601 And I do too. 461 00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:08,813 Hi, I'm your new best friend... ...and we have to be locked in for life now. 462 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,690 It's an honor, but don't shake unless you're ready. 463 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,526 Hey, did you bring any better games? 464 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:15,946 Uh, no. I didn't because I think you brought the perfect one. 465 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:17,989 - Great. - Yeah. 466 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,367 You think I should fire up some bison burgers on the Foreman? 467 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,910 I don't think that you should. 468 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:25,080 I think maybe we should order some pizzas for everyone. 469 00:19:25,081 --> 00:19:26,831 - Oh, someone said pizza. - I said pizza. 470 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,792 - See how it-- - Yeah, sure. 471 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,835 - It's a crowd-pleaser, right? - I guess. Yeah. 472 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:32,630 - Thank you for asking my advice. - Mm-hmm. 473 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,466 You just got a little something on here. 474 00:19:36,467 --> 00:19:38,636 Three, two, one... 475 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,472 Oh. Now he can count. 476 00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,473 Oh, that's stunning. 477 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:45,392 Well, at least one of us got what we came for. 478 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:50,021 Mr. Johnson, you better have the best vacation ever. 479 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:54,150 Oh, I intend to. Now that I have a REAL ID and a passport, the world is my clam. 480 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:56,611 - What? - I'm allergic to oysters. 481 00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:59,072 - Wait, you have a passport? - Yeah. 482 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,448 You silly son of a bitch. 483 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:03,869 Mr. Johnson, you could have just used your passport. 484 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:08,082 You call yourselves educators? New Orleans is in the country. 485 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,587 You know, after the initial hiccups, it feels like tonight was a success. 486 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,048 I agree. Can't wait to do it again. 487 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,760 Yeah, but maybe next time at your place. 488 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:23,388 Yeah. 489 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,933 - Maybe we can host together. - Okay. 490 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,561 Oh, I almost forgot the pillows. 491 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,645 Um. 492 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:34,399 Actually, maybe you leave those, if that's okay with you? 493 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,234 - Really? - Yeah. 494 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,613 - Oh. - But definitely not that one. 495 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,159 - Okay. Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. 496 00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:45,493 - It's more my place. - Yeah. Yeah. 497 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,662 Yeah. 498 00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:53,084 News flash. You know those big yellow humps in the middle of the road? 499 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,461 You mean speed bumps? 500 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:57,172 Turns out you're supposed to slow down for them. 501 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,798 Who knew? 502 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,217 - Um, y'all not too old to get fired. - What? 503 00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,261 {\an8}Get to class before this becomes a former teacher's lounge. 504 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,345 {\an8}Oh. 505 00:21:04,346 --> 00:21:05,639 {\an8}- Let's go. - Hang on. 506 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:11,728 {\an8}A Philadelphia man stunned New Orleans today when he wrestled seven alligators 507 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:16,149 {\an8}in under ten minutes, breaking his own record from 30 years ago. 508 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:19,152 {\an8}They're calling him the Bayou Bruiser, and-- 509 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:20,361 {\an8} 510 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:24,366 {\an8}Okay, there is a... a bird in the studio. We have to go to break.