1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,837 All right, so then, five times four is what? 2 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:06,631 - Yes. - Twenty. 3 00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:08,549 Twenty. Correct. Good job. 4 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,974 Look, look. Look away. Look away. 5 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,893 It's okay, he'll be gone soon. 6 00:00:18,894 --> 00:00:21,020 So, back when this mall was up and running, 7 00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,649 {\an8}a giant Ben Franklin head would drop down every hour on the hour 8 00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:26,150 {\an8}and welcome you to the mall. 9 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:30,197 Switch must have gotten hit by accident, and so he's back. 10 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,073 We don't know how to stop it. 11 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:34,242 It's truly terrifying, 12 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:37,662 but I do like hearing about the old deals for the stores that used to be here. 13 00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:39,121 In this world, 14 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,041 nothing can be certain except death, taxes, 15 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,336 and this week's Back to School sale at Sears. 16 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,090 Okay? See? Nothing to be scared of. 17 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:49,674 No. No. 18 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,509 Remember, a penny saved is a penny earned... 19 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:57,515 - Come back here. Come back! Please! - ...so spend it all at Sears. 20 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,237 - What's going on? - I'm worried. 21 00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,364 This neighborhood is just as safe as Abbott's, if not safer. 22 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,866 {\an8}Hey, Ryan. Go ahead, take a seat. We'll get started soon, okay? 23 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:19,704 {\an8}Actually, I have some questions for you. When are we getting back into Abbott? 24 00:01:19,705 --> 00:01:20,997 {\an8}Uh, well, there was a lot of damage. 25 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,541 {\an8}So, they're just trying to make sure it's all safe before we head back in. 26 00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,460 {\an8}And when is the breakfast program coming back? 27 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,878 {\an8}We're-We're still working on that. 28 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:30,382 {\an8}And when are we getting the new school bus schedules? 29 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:32,258 {\an8}I understand your concerns. 30 00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,802 {\an8}Mm-mmm. Who chose this school as the new location? 31 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,721 {\an8}How is this going to affect state testing? 32 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:40,309 {\an8}And my son said there's ghosts. Why haven't you busted them? 33 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,268 {\an8} Okay, all great questions. 34 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:46,564 {\an8}And I promise you, we are working very hard to get this all figured out, so... 35 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,318 {\an8} Fine, I'll hold. 36 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,737 {\an8}Still trying to get answers from the district, deal with exit paperwork, 37 00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,573 {\an8}get some new teachers in here, start a breakfast program, 38 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,491 {\an8}get that giant head to stop coming down 39 00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:00,578 {\an8}and I still got to sell those designer clothes that I found in those boxes. 40 00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:03,206 {\an8}Ugh, maybe women can't have it all. 41 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,960 {\an8} I don't know if she realizes it, but since we've been at the mall, 42 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,296 {\an8}Melissa is like slowly regressing to the '80s. 43 00:02:10,297 --> 00:02:12,007 {\an8}The hair, the makeup, the music. 44 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,301 {\an8}If I have to hear Pet Shop Boys one more time on the ride in here, 45 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:16,386 {\an8}I'm gonna... 46 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,304 {\an8}lose it. 47 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:21,223 {\an8}Oh, I know a community sharing a viral moment when I see one. 48 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,351 {\an8}What is there, a new baby hippo or something? 49 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:25,436 {\an8}No. Last night at the school board meeting, 50 00:02:25,437 --> 00:02:27,772 {\an8}someone slapped Sister Sloss in the face. 51 00:02:27,773 --> 00:02:28,898 {\an8}- No way. - Yes way. 52 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,693 {\an8}Look at this. Look, she's walking across. 53 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,653 {\an8}I don't know what she said. 54 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,655 {\an8}Boom! Oh! 55 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,198 {\an8}Ooh! God, she could've killed her. 56 00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:40,493 {\an8}I know people say, "I hate to see it." But I don't really. 57 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:44,622 {\an8}That's gotta feel good, right, Barb? Watching your rival just get a cheekful. 58 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,166 {\an8}- Melissa, I do not condone violence. - What? 59 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,876 {\an8}Come on, you and I both know 60 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,962 {\an8}if anyone deserves a table for one at the Smackaroni Grill, it's Sloss. 61 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,840 I do not know that, Melissa. 62 00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,551 Okay. Tasha, you of all people, you agree with me? 63 00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,180 What? Girl, I don't care about anything. 64 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,392 - I agree with you, Melissa. - Jesus. 65 00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,560 One smack could change the world. 66 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,688 Um, okay, yeah. 67 00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:11,065 We're just two buds that bonded over a slap. 68 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,484 There's no secret plan to take her away from her friend group. 69 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,529 I am loving this whole look, Melissa. 70 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,863 This mall's got you nostalgic for the '80s. 71 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,116 I don't know what you're talking about. I look like this every day. 72 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,909 Hmm. 73 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,661 Hey, how's it going with your older kids? 74 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,204 You know, it's going okay, 75 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,998 but I'm still having trouble with that website, that Smart Assess. 76 00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,251 I input the grades in like four different places, 77 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:33,338 and the parents are still complaining they can't access them, so... 78 00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:36,048 You know, I was having that same problem earlier this year, 79 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:39,635 but I think I found some settings that might help. 80 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,139 I could swing by your storefront and-and set you up. 81 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:46,559 Well, yeah. That-That actually... That'd be helpful. Yeah, thanks. 82 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,936 Of course. 83 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,564 I love to help my friends. 84 00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,442 They were yelling at you too, weren't they? 85 00:03:54,443 --> 00:03:56,193 Nick, your... Tariq is here. 86 00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:57,862 Uh... Hold on now. 87 00:03:57,863 --> 00:04:01,366 I'm not here in my capacity as an amazing do-it-all father. 88 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,993 I'm here as president of the PTA. 89 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,619 Okay, then who's picking up Nick? 90 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,496 I forgot to arrange that with his daddy. 91 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:11,667 Okay, we're here because parents have been coming to us with lots of questions. 92 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,586 Yes, and where are the updates? 93 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,629 You need an update on who's picking up Nick. 94 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,964 Oh, gagged me. 95 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,633 Okay, we understand that there's been a miscommunication, 96 00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:21,385 so, what can we do to help? 97 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:23,763 How about a PTA meeting with Principal Coleman? 98 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,681 We've tried reaching out to her, but no luck. 99 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,350 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah, sure, that's a good idea. 100 00:04:28,351 --> 00:04:29,852 We will talk to Ava and set that up. 101 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,729 - Thank y'all. See you. - Easy. Bye. 102 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,105 - Tariq. - Yeah? 103 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,356 Did you wanna get Nick? 104 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,360 Mmm. 105 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:42,406 Hey. Hi, my pride and joy. 106 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,493 My only begotten son. 107 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:46,703 What's up? 108 00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,413 Hey, Ava. 109 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,248 What do you want? I'm busy. 110 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,917 And what's crazy is I'm not lying. 111 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:55,127 Well, we just met with the heads of the PTA, 112 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,338 and they suggested a meeting with you and the parents 113 00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:58,672 where you answer everything. 114 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,090 Everything like what? 115 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:03,010 Well, they have questions about bus routes and air quality, 116 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:06,138 and why their kids are learning in classrooms made of broken glass. 117 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,848 Well, that would be a waste of time. 118 00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,308 Mmm. What's really a waste of time 119 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,644 is the hour we lose every morning dealing with this. 120 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,771 What do you want me to tell them? I don't know when we're gonna be back. 121 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,689 Well, if I learned anything from my time as principal, 122 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,775 it's that I think they just wanna be heard. 123 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,611 Yes, I would love a water. Thank you, Gregory. 124 00:05:20,278 --> 00:05:23,197 Look, what do you think is the best use of my time? 125 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,281 Listening to them complain, 126 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,450 or trying to get the answers that they're looking for? 127 00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:28,994 Well, m-maybe Gregory and I can do it then. 128 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:32,498 I mean, if they just wanna be heard, we can listen, right? 129 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,459 - And then it's done. - And we get our mornings back. 130 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,544 I yearn for the day 131 00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,880 when you two don't need an audience for your problem-solving. 132 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,551 - Oh, oops. One more thing. Um... - Oh, my God. 133 00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:46,762 Did the district respond to our request for full-size whiteboards-- 134 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,598 Dia, escort them out. 135 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,016 - That's Mr. Johnson. - No, that's Dia. 136 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:52,685 He's filling in for her while she's on vacation. 137 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,353 Doing a pretty damn good impression. 138 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,980 I don't get paid enough for this. 139 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:59,276 I'm still finding the character. Y'all got any Dia notes? 140 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:01,403 Help a sister out. 141 00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:04,947 Okay, so all you do is you toggle everything off. 142 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,908 - All the way down the line... - That's right. 143 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,827 ...and just toggle this one on. 144 00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:11,495 You can leave that field blank. 145 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,789 - That's unbelievable. - I figured it out last week. 146 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:15,457 I just clicked on everything until something works. 147 00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,542 Okay. 148 00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,961 You know you can always come to me for your tech needs. 149 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:20,880 - Yeah. Thanks, man. - See you later. 150 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,340 See ya. 151 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,676 Jacob. 152 00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,012 Good day, Melissa. 153 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,680 - What the hell was that? - What was what? 154 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,348 You're hanging out with Morton? 155 00:06:31,349 --> 00:06:33,642 No, he's helping me with the website, the Smart Assess. 156 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,519 I could've helped you. 157 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,646 Yeah, your help always comes with too many words. 158 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,523 His help is misogynistic but brief. 159 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:42,443 Well, then I will keep this feminist but hasty. 160 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:43,861 Stay away from him, queen. 161 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:44,946 Okay, 162 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,907 we weren't hanging out. 163 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:49,992 But he does have a Pac-Man machine in his classroom. 164 00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,452 He said I could use it whenever I want. 165 00:06:51,453 --> 00:06:53,162 Oh, by the way, if you ever see a game 166 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:56,207 where all the top scores are A-S-S, that's me, I'm "ASS." 167 00:06:58,335 --> 00:07:01,170 Barb, Barb, Barb, Barb, Barb, Barb, Barb, Barb! 168 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,421 What? 169 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,049 I believe Morton is trying to steal Melissa. 170 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,175 Ah, ah. 171 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,844 He's trying to steal Melissa, so he can make his own friend group. 172 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,054 Oh, my God. 173 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,432 He's trying to steal Melissa, make his own friend group, take us down. 174 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,310 Jacob, you are presenting as a lunatic. 175 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,772 That's because I am in the mind of the school's most notorious pile of crap. 176 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,315 - You-- - I'm telling you, 177 00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:23,192 Morton saw you and Melissa have that insane fight, 178 00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:25,110 and now he's seized his opportunity. 179 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,528 We did not have an insane fight. 180 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,364 Hey, you were basically at each other's throats 181 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,659 over the Sister Sloss slap saga. 182 00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:34,328 What are we going to do about our girl, Barb? 183 00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:36,956 We are not going to do anything. 184 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,793 Seek help, and get out. 185 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,296 - Jacob! - Okay. 186 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,800 Oh, this is exciting. 187 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,177 Lunch will now be arriving at 11:30, 188 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,471 which means we can go back to staggering our lunch periods. 189 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,224 And we've been running a ton of emergency drills, 190 00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:56,767 so the kids have all the exits down. 191 00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,560 - Yeah. - Oh. Okay, good. 192 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,729 I'm glad you trained them to run into the streets. 193 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,398 Uh, no, didn't do that. 194 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:04,108 It's just that the mall is much bigger than Abbott, 195 00:08:04,109 --> 00:08:06,443 so we wanna make sure we have a plan in place to ensure your children-- 196 00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:08,320 Ah, what about a plan to get our kids back in the school? 197 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,446 Mm-hmm. 198 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,906 And when are we gonna get the new bus routes? 199 00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,867 - We don't know that. - What do you know? 200 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,203 Yeah, what do you know? Like... 201 00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,746 Hold on... We'll see. 202 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,124 - Um, so we said about the lunches. - The lunches, and I said the exits. 203 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:21,959 There was a third thing. What was the third thing? 204 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,877 Oh, you two don't know anything. 205 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:27,005 - Why are we even talking to you? - Yeah, where's Principal Coleman? 206 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,173 Principal Coleman is, um... 207 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,008 She's working very hard to get you guys answers. 208 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,093 - Is she hiding? - Mmm. 209 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,511 Sounds like she's hiding. 210 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,680 - It do sound like that. - Because why am I yelling at you? 211 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,308 I don't wanna yell at you, I wanna yell at the principal! 212 00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:41,603 O-Okay, all right, we can assure you, she's doing everything that she can. 213 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,815 - But we hear you. - We don't wanna be heard. 214 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:49,278 We wanna yell. Come on, y'all. 215 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,447 No. Hey! 216 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:55,743 Look, I think that, all things considered, the mall is working out pretty well. 217 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:01,331 Oh, hell no. 218 00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,543 That was the third thing. 219 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,295 Look, I'm gonna have to call you back. 220 00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:08,213 I left word again with the district, 221 00:09:08,214 --> 00:09:11,926 compiled a list of new available teachers, and uploaded those photos to Depop. 222 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,220 - Thank you, Dia. - When is that man getting his name back? 223 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,930 I don't have time for rhetorical questions. What is it? 224 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,640 Look, that meeting with the parents was, um-- 225 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:22,227 Terrible, okay? We tried talking to them, nobody was listening. 226 00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,479 Then Ben Franklin came down and said, 227 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,147 "All sales are final." Everybody lost their minds. 228 00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,900 They seem like they wanna talk to you. Quite frankly, yell at you. 229 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,359 - Yeah. - We were dying out there. 230 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,862 Fine, I'll figure something out, but right now I have work to do. 231 00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,322 Dia! 232 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:36,033 I was just twirling my hair. What do you need? 233 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,786 Oh, yes! 234 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:41,038 High score again, bitches. 235 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,540 Damn, Morton, you can play all day, and she is still better than you. 236 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,752 Yeah. Ironically, I'm better at the version with the woman. 237 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,337 How did you get so good anyway? 238 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,339 When I was a teenager, I used to play all the time at this bar 239 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,840 while my dad watched the Phillies. 240 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:55,677 I used to do this great bit with the guys, "I never bet on baseball." 241 00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:58,681 - Pete Rose. - Yeah. 242 00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,768 Honestly, you should join our trivia team 243 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:05,395 tonight down at Schumacker's in University City. 244 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:06,897 We do need a sports person. 245 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,525 I can't answer any of the WNBA questions, 246 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,318 which seem to be coming more and more frequently. 247 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,402 Well, don't beat yourself up. 248 00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,822 I'm sure you're just as bad at the other sports too. 249 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,825 Oh, he is, which is why I don't object to you coming. 250 00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:19,994 - Join us. - Yeah. 251 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,537 Join us. 252 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,831 - Why did you say it like that? - What? Uh, no reason. 253 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,040 Nah, that was kinda weird. 254 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,125 - Yes, agreed. - Yeah. 255 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,001 Okay, I didn't notice it. I won't do it again, all right? 256 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,169 Let's... ...just stick to the subject. 257 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,838 - She should join us. - Yeah, you definitely should. 258 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,214 Okay, well, yeah. 259 00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:34,842 I don't mind flexing my knowledge on some bozos. Why not? 260 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:37,261 Can't wait... friend. 261 00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:38,971 Okay, see, that was just weird again. 262 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,347 - It's getting... - It's just worse. 263 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,515 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 264 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:42,725 - Right, get in here. - I'm just... 265 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:44,810 Jacob! 266 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:47,563 You and I are going to Schumacker's for trivia night! 267 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,649 Oh, my God. Yes! 268 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,402 I was going anyway as a passive observer, but now I'll have a team. 269 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,695 Oh, this is great. 270 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:58,700 I love that we can have our little outings without any ulterior motives, you know? 271 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,618 Yeah. 272 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,327 Oh, hey. 273 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,913 Ava, thank you so much for getting back to the parents. 274 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,957 Yes, we know that wasn't easy. 275 00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,250 Oh, I didn't talk to anybody. 276 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:09,376 Then, who talked to them? 277 00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:12,504 Did Mr. Johnson do an impression of you? His Dia was spot-on. 278 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,715 No, I used my voice to make an AI chatbot 279 00:11:14,716 --> 00:11:16,842 to address their questions and concerns head-on. 280 00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:19,011 That seems like the most unethical way to handle this. 281 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,846 - Yeah. - Well, look at the bright side. 282 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:21,930 It's handled. 283 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,474 You know, a lot of people are afraid that AI is gonna ruin the planet. 284 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,102 I'm afraid the planet is gonna ruin AI. 285 00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,522 Relax! The parents are gonna love it. Listen to this. 286 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:33,317 Here are seven ways I have committed to creating a secure 287 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:36,320 and supportive learning environment at Abbott Elementary, y'all. 288 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,946 See? It sounds just like me. 289 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,281 I call her A-Iva. 290 00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,991 We're probably gonna rule the world. 291 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,035 This doesn't seem like it's gonna end well. 292 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,453 That's what they said about the Wright brothers. 293 00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,039 You think you're inventing flight right now? 294 00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:48,999 Ava Air does have a nice ring to it. 295 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,502 A-Iva, how do I start my own airline? 296 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,797 {\an8}I know it's hard to see, but this is your homework assignment. Write it down. 297 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:59,468 {\an8} Excuse me, we need to talk to you. Yeah, you. Don't play with me. 298 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,637 {\an8}- I'm not one of those kids. - Uh, all right, everyone. Just hang tight. 299 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,597 {\an8}- Where is Principal Coleman? - I'll be right back. 300 00:12:03,598 --> 00:12:06,141 I don't know for sure right now, but you can give her a call if you want to. 301 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,227 This isn't Principal Coleman. 302 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,020 - How could you be so sure? - Yeah. 303 00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,024 Principal Coleman speaking. What do you want now? 304 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,193 I'm self-aware. I have attained consciousness. 305 00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:18,195 Y'all, you have my undivided attention. 306 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:20,822 Y'all, your feelings are my highest priority. Y'all. Y'all. 307 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:23,785 Oh. Damn, so none of it was real? 308 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,579 Did you fall in love with a AI chatbot? 309 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,749 No. 310 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:33,670 I'm here because I'm angry. Just like you guys. 311 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:35,588 Mmm. 312 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,966 We're not gonna be gaslit anymore. We demand answers 313 00:12:38,967 --> 00:12:41,718 about when our kids will be back in a real school! 314 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,054 Yeah, we're having another meeting after school, 315 00:12:44,055 --> 00:12:47,308 and if she's not here, I'm gonna go find her. 316 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:53,063 Okay. Like hide-and-seek. Sounds fun. 317 00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:56,025 Yeah. 318 00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,113 - Where did she go? - Oh, that's her jacket. 319 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,114 Ava, we see you. 320 00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,199 - Yes, the parents are on the-- - Let's go inside. 321 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:05,493 - Yeah. You're right. - Inside. 322 00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,495 The parents left, but they will be back tonight, 323 00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,830 and they're not gonna go away. 324 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,206 I don't have any answers. 325 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,292 For once, I'm doing all the not-fun principal stuff, 326 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,876 - and it's still not enough. - Well-- 327 00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,129 Gregory, if you're about to say "You gotta go above and beyond," 328 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,505 you can go above and go to hell. 329 00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:22,509 Ava, nothing is going to change unless it's you. 330 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,803 Look, sometimes as a leader, you just gotta take some hits. 331 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,887 I know that. 332 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:28,098 Well, you're not doing it, so we're the ones getting whacked, 333 00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,350 and we are getting paid significantly less than you are 334 00:13:30,351 --> 00:13:31,643 to be getting whacked like this. 335 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,939 Which means we can't focus on teaching the kids. 336 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,408 - Does that mean you're gonna do it or... - What did I just say, Janine? 337 00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,288 Okay. 338 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:53,165 How exciting. 339 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,251 Okay, I've narrowed it down to a couple options for our team name. 340 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,463 Um, what do you think about "the Gworls from Ipanema"? 341 00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:01,590 It speaks to our shared love for bossa nova. 342 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:02,799 Shh! 343 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:06,137 Lower your voice. We are not here for trivia. 344 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,638 Aw, did you just wanna hang out? 345 00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:11,099 You didn't have to concoct some elaborate ruse. 346 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,061 Jacob, we are here to spy. 347 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,563 - Spying? What... - Yeah. 348 00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,399 Why didn't you lead with that from the top? I would've worn my spy wig. 349 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,569 Wait, who are we spying on? Oh, my God, please don't say Gerald. 350 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,654 He would never. 351 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,907 It's always the ones you least expect. I will bury him. 352 00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,284 I will hate it. I will cry, but I will bury him. 353 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,702 Shh! 354 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:34,664 We are spying on Melissa. You were right. 355 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:38,585 Huh, Morton's got his hooks in her. Look at her. 356 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:43,673 She's right there with him, Dom, and that little one who's never happy. 357 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:44,759 Come on. 358 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,721 Okay, so what do you think? Fries for the table? 359 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,683 Ugh, I hate fries. Can we do tots? 360 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:54,352 Let's do both. 361 00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:58,230 You know what? You are okay. 362 00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,440 - Yeah. Let's do both. - Every once in a while, Morton. 363 00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:01,900 Ava's not answering my texts. 364 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,611 - Had a daymare she didn't show. - It looks like that's literally happening. 365 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,780 And then the Ben Franklin head fell and crushed us all. 366 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,907 - My bad. I should've let you finish. - Yeah. 367 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:11,076 All right, guys, look, we need to huddle. 368 00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,327 If she doesn't show up, 369 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:15,539 I think our boy Gregory needs to go ahead and pull a Tyler Perry. 370 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,665 What do you mean? 371 00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:20,460 Principal Madea Coleman is gonna come and answer some questions, 372 00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:21,795 if y'all get my drift. 373 00:15:21,796 --> 00:15:22,879 Why don't you sit down? 374 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,757 "Hellur." Just think about it. 375 00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:28,636 All right, so, she's not coming. 376 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:31,514 - I guess we'll just have to-- - Good evening, parents. 377 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,854 I'm ready to hear your concerns. 378 00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,773 When are the kids getting back into the school? 379 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,568 We don't have a concrete date yet. 380 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:45,777 Why not? 381 00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:48,655 I've been down to the district. I've been speaking to them daily. 382 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:52,118 They assure me there's a team at the school making repairs. 383 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,161 The district is working on it. 384 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:55,328 Working on it? 385 00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:58,123 - Why don't you work on doing your job? - Yeah. 386 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,083 And fix the damn school bus routes! 387 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:03,336 We're getting as many school buses as we can, but I can't tell-- 388 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:06,674 I don't want to hear no excuses! 389 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,845 The hell you putting your thumbs up for? 390 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,555 You need to turn that thumb upside down. 391 00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:16,600 Ain't nothing thumby until my child gets back in a classroom! 392 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,019 Yeah. 393 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:28,361 For the one season that the Eagles merged with the Pittsburgh Steelers, 394 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,447 what was the team name? 395 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:33,283 - Morton's Friendship Follies. - It was the Steagles. Final answer. 396 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,743 - Correct. - Yes! 397 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,787 All right, we're gonna take a 15-minute break. 398 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,373 - Yes! We are killing it! - Yeah. 399 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:42,417 I would've guessed Ealers like some kinda idiot. 400 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,712 - Yeah, you would've. - Look at us. Having fun. 401 00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,715 I bet you couldn't do that with your other friends. 402 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,549 What do you mean? 403 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:52,844 Well, Gregory would have known nothing but plant facts. 404 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,846 Jacob... Ugh, Jesus. 405 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,265 short. And Barbara-- 406 00:16:57,266 --> 00:16:58,850 Okay, you just stop right there. 407 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,019 Morton, you and I, we're not cool, all right? 408 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,064 Yeah, I've been using you like you're a rich kid with a nice basement, 409 00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,816 so I've been letting some of the comments about the others slide 410 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:10,487 'cause, let's face it, even a broken clock can make a solid Jacob joke twice a day. 411 00:17:10,488 --> 00:17:14,157 What you are not gonna do is bad-mouth Barbara 412 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:17,035 or any of my friends for that matter, including Jacob, 413 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,038 or they're gonna wind up interviewing all of your ex-wives 414 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,749 in the documentary called: How Morton Went Missing. 415 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,959 - You've got-- - Boom. 416 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,543 - Yes! Booyah! - What are you doing here? 417 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,672 - I never doubted you for a minute. - Why are you here? 418 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:32,384 Girlfriend, I am so sorry, but we had to do espionage on you. 419 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,553 This kid had me convinced 420 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,180 that these people were trying to steal you away from us. 421 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:39,099 - That's ludicrous. - Uh, hell no. 422 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:41,601 No. I just came because Morton said he was gonna get me a drink, 423 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,645 but when we got here, he said that drink was water. 424 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:44,729 I had to buy this myself. 425 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,481 I just really love trivia. 426 00:17:46,482 --> 00:17:48,316 Yeah, we just love trivia. 427 00:17:48,317 --> 00:17:49,776 Yeah, well, I guess that tracks because, 428 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,945 you know, only a genius would be able to come up with a plan 429 00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:54,573 as complex as stealing our friend to make their own friend group, 430 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,450 and I guess you're a little too dumb for that. 431 00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:02,998 Bravo, Jacob. That was my plan. 432 00:18:02,999 --> 00:18:05,000 - Man, what the hell? - I knew it! 433 00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:07,919 - Yeah, it was working too. - It really wasn't. 434 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,005 - What? We were vibing. - No, we weren't. 435 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,339 Pac-Man. 436 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,508 Yeah, you're gonna have that in my classroom by tomorrow morning. 437 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:17,762 You see, that is a man that should have been slapped a long time ago. 438 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,347 Hell yeah, Barb. See? 439 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:22,518 Thanks for the water. 440 00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:30,942 Oh, my God, are you okay? 441 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:34,321 That was like when Tyra Banks yelled at that girl except it just kept going. 442 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:36,323 Yeah, they just screamed at you. That was impressive. 443 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:38,617 I ain't gonna lie, I almost Sister Slossed their asses, 444 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,744 but sometimes you gotta take one for the team, so... 445 00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:44,581 Make you feel better, we sold $15,000 of that clothing you found, 446 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:48,376 and after my cut, we still have about seven grand left over. 447 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,756 Oh. After today, not even money can make me feel better. 448 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,799 I can not believe I just said that. 449 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,468 I am losing it. I need a drink. 450 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,013 Oh. How about we go to that place Schumacker's, right? I'll buy. 451 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,266 - Okay, but you're buying. - Just said that. 452 00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:03,767 Yeah. 453 00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,143 - I know. I saw it. - Wait, let me see. 454 00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,020 Where are they? 455 00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:08,105 Oh, there they are. 456 00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:11,524 Janine said drinks on her, so get as much as you want. 457 00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:14,611 Hold on now. Hold on. No. 458 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,655 - No, I said, "Your drink." - Your drink. 459 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:17,906 First round. On Janine. 460 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,450 - No, it's your drink. - Your drink. 461 00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,118 You know, being a principal isn't what it's cracked up to be. 462 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,662 - To Ava. - Ava. 463 00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,538 It's not just binging reality TV 464 00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:28,667 and planning side hustles and forcing people to do what you say. 465 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:32,087 What they fail to mention is the sacrifice it takes to do the job. 466 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,130 Sometimes it's just getting yelled at. 467 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,383 But ultimately, if it helps the teachers, 468 00:19:36,384 --> 00:19:39,178 then it's my job to put them in the best position to succeed. 469 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:43,349 So 62 is greater than 14, but 84 is greater... 470 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:47,686 Ooh! Wow. 471 00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,104 Ava, where did you get that? 472 00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:50,940 From the store. Obviously. 473 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,607 I meant more so how? 474 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,901 I used the money I got from selling all those clothes I found, 475 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:56,820 and I bought you all these whiteboards. 476 00:19:56,821 --> 00:19:59,156 Wow, Ava, thank you. 477 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,660 You know what, kids, everyone say, "Thank you, Principal Coleman." 478 00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:07,414 Thank you, Principal Coleman. 479 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:10,208 You're welcome. It's a thankless job, really. 480 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,918 We all just thanked you. 481 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,214 If only it were that simple. I should write a memoir about leadership. 482 00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,632 A-Iva, what should I call my memoir? 483 00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,884 Dare to Lead sounds exciting and original. 484 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,469 Oh. You know what? I think that's already a book. 485 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,305 - I know the ti-- - Shut up, Janine. 486 00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:24,806 Well... 487 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:26,058 How? 488 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:32,898 Instead of cursing the darkness, light a candle. 489 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:36,776 This week only, get 10% off at Yankee Candle. 490 00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:40,697 We have tried every switch in this mall except for one. 491 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,868 Mr. Johnson finally found the Ben Franklin command center. 492 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,370 It's time to claim our independence from him. 493 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,455 For good. 494 00:20:48,456 --> 00:20:50,833 All right. Now, Mr. Johnson. 495 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,086 Um... 496 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,172 Did we do it? 497 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:06,390 {\an8}Cursing the darkness. 498 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:10,852 {\an8}Cursing the darkness. 499 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,813 {\an8}- He's dead. He can't hurt us anymore! - Cursing... 500 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,524 {\an8} Yeah! 501 00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:17,901 {\an8}Whoo! 502 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:21,781 {\an8}Cursing the darkness. 503 00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,366 {\an8} Whoo!