1 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,591 - Wow. - Quiet, right? 2 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,009 - Yeah. 3 00:00:10,093 --> 00:00:11,761 - I mean, that's double-paned glass right there. 4 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,097 You could get murdered in here, and no one would know. 5 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,767 - Ooh. [laughs] What about Rita's desk over here? 6 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,602 - Rita? No, are you crazy? 7 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,604 I'm not wasting that view on Rita. 8 00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:23,189 That's your spot. 9 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,734 - Hell, no, I'm getting my own office and my own Tina. 10 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,278 - [chuckles] - His name will be Theodore. 11 00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,863 - Just imagine sitting here 12 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:33,616 with Philip Morris and Seagram's over here, 13 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:35,452 and they're just tripping over themselves 14 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:38,121 to give us all their dough. 15 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,248 - "Sorry, Mr. Hefner. He's in a meeting. 16 00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:41,875 "But sure, you can borrow the jet. 17 00:00:41,958 --> 00:00:43,168 Just make sure you top off the tank..." 18 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:44,753 - Hey! - "Because last time--" 19 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,838 - This is an active work zone. Who let you in? 20 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,339 - Michael Schwartz. 21 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,300 - You got ten seconds before I kick your ass. 22 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,635 - Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Okay, we're going, we're going! 23 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,137 - Leave the hard hats. [laughter] 24 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:57,265 [The Wildweeds' "You Know Your Love"] 25 00:00:57,348 --> 00:00:59,184 ♪ ♪ 26 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:02,228 - ♪ You know that your love ♪ 27 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,648 ♪ Is like a violin ♪ 28 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,943 ♪ Baby, when you kiss me ♪ 29 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,696 [siren wails] ♪ You know the music begins ♪ 30 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,699 [music stops] - Uh... 31 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,701 Hi. Excuse me, Officer. 32 00:01:16,785 --> 00:01:18,244 Hi, is there a problem here? 33 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,830 - Are you an employee of Bottom Dollar, Miss? 34 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,499 - Technically, yes. 35 00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:25,168 But I think of myself more as a creative leader, actually. 36 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:28,338 I just finished the maiden issue of my new magazine. 37 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,464 - Congratulations. 38 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:30,840 - Thank you. - Hey, Kenny. 39 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,759 Help lighten this nice lady's load. 40 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:34,803 - What? [car door closes] 41 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,679 Oh, oh, no, I'm so sorry. 42 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,014 - Ma'am. - Those are mine. 43 00:01:38,097 --> 00:01:39,974 Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 44 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,519 No--okay. Where are you going with those? 45 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,604 [Pretty's "Red Spoon Gravy"] 46 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:45,855 Oh, okay. 47 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,358 Rita. Rita, what is going on? 48 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:49,692 - It's a raid. 49 00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,110 ♪ ♪ 50 00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:54,948 - ♪ I'm gonna hitchhike down the road ♪ 51 00:01:55,031 --> 00:02:01,871 ♪ ♪ 52 00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:06,709 [indistinct chatter, giggling] 53 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,378 - Oh, babes? - Yeah? 54 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,380 - Do me a favor and stuff this in your bra. 55 00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,674 - Why is everyone so calm? We're under siege here. 56 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,218 - Oh, it's no big deal. It happens a few times a year. 57 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,012 The pigs grab our stuff, Doug pays a fine, 58 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,430 and they return it in a day or two. 59 00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,015 - I want those tassels back, Wayne. 60 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,600 - What are we being charged with? 61 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,394 - Aw, it's baby's first raid. 62 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,770 Did you hear what it's for this time? 63 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,230 - I think maybe an underage model. 64 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,149 - We shoot underage models here? 65 00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:30,567 - I'm sure they're of age now. 66 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,235 - Listen, every time they come in, 67 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,570 it's for something else. 68 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,072 A zoning violation, harboring a felon. 69 00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:38,366 The charges are always bullshit, okay? 70 00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:40,785 This is just a racket, a shakedown. 71 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,662 - This is the dirty part of the business. 72 00:02:42,745 --> 00:02:45,081 - Oh. - Okay, is this too much? 73 00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,499 - You look thin but bulgy. 74 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,585 - And I guess these are for the cops now. 75 00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:49,919 - Mm-hmm. 76 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,588 We talked about this, Pete. 77 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:53,256 You don't fuck with my space heater. 78 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,507 - Sorry, T. - Mm-hmm. 79 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,009 - Hey, what happened to the heads-up? 80 00:02:56,092 --> 00:02:57,635 - New councilwoman, new rules. 81 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,095 I'm just a humble servant of the law. 82 00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:00,680 - Oh, don't sell yourself short, Petey. 83 00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:02,599 You're a prince. I'll save a doughnut for you. 84 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,183 When are we gonna be done with this bullshit? 85 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,852 - Around the time we get that jet. 86 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,729 - This is insane-- they just come in here, 87 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,439 and they just take whatever they want. 88 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,691 How do you live like this? - Oh, it's never stopped us 89 00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,819 from getting an issue out before--19 raids and counting. 90 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:17,447 - That is a weird thing to be proud of. 91 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:19,032 [indistinct chatter] 92 00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:21,618 - All right. Happy Monday, everybody. 93 00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,621 Okay, seems we got a new pal at City Hall, 94 00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,623 and I haven't paid her the proper respect. 95 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,958 So we got a spot at the printer in 36 hours. 96 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,668 We need to hold on to it, okay? 97 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,420 Anybody got a title that's ready to go? 98 00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,630 "Rich & Horny," what do you got? 99 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,964 - I saved a roll of film, 100 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,466 a three-iron, and a pearl necklace. 101 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,967 - I'm assuming not the fun kind. 102 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,594 - Negative. - "Milky Moms." 103 00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,763 - They took everything, man, even the dolls. 104 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:43,181 - Animals. - All right. 105 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:44,849 You know what? Let's not do this piecemeal. 106 00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,143 Everybody, everything you got. Put it on the table. 107 00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:50,104 [indistinct chatter] 108 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:53,858 What's wrong with you people? Our magazine is 90% photos. 109 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,652 Did anybody save any negatives? 110 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:58,279 - Well, don't call me a hero, but I got "Minx" in my pants. 111 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,739 - Oh, Richie. 112 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:01,032 - Good stuff. 113 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,992 Hey, kid. Did you, uh, save any boards? 114 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,453 - I fought valiantly, but-- 115 00:04:05,536 --> 00:04:06,704 Oh, my--no, wait. 116 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,915 Uh, I do have mimeographs of the articles. 117 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,500 See, I, um-- 118 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,044 I implemented a backup system after Hurricane Donna 119 00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:16,255 scattered my thesis through the streets of Poughkeepsie. 120 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,715 - Well, congrats, kid, 121 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,842 your release date just got pulled up a month. 122 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,887 [scattered applause] - All right, Joyce. 123 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,932 [upbeat music] 124 00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:33,022 ♪ ♪ 125 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:35,900 - Joyce. - Hmm? 126 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,276 - You have a call. 127 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,864 - It wasn't a real raid. It was a shakedown. 128 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,993 You know, it was selective use of local-- 129 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:46,953 No, uh, no. 130 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,248 Kathy, you know the news always gets this stuff wrong. 131 00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:52,875 It was--please don't get cold feet, okay? 132 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,628 "Minx" will not be the same without your piece. 133 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,298 I'm very sorry to hear that. 134 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,886 [sighs] [phone rings] 135 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,472 I lost every single contributor. 136 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,058 "Degendering Children's Literature," gone. 137 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,020 "The Patriarchal Implications of Breastfeeding," poof. 138 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,397 "A Manifesto on the Virtues of Armpit Hair." 139 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:15,773 - Which are? 140 00:05:15,857 --> 00:05:17,400 - Unconvincing at best. I will admit that. 141 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,736 But half of my magazine has just disappeared. 142 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,529 I cannot go to the printer's tomorrow. 143 00:05:21,612 --> 00:05:23,239 - Oh, you'll figure it out. 144 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,783 - Oh, that--you're done? 145 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,326 That's it? There's no more advice? 146 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:29,245 - Well, look, you've been working on this magazine 147 00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:31,039 since seventh grade, so find some old gems, 148 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:35,001 do a little Joyce-y update, and, wham bam, you're done. 149 00:05:35,084 --> 00:05:38,087 - Yeah, yeah, I suppose I could dip into the archives. 150 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,173 I can't put my name on every single article, though. 151 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,299 That's not professional. 152 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:43,509 - So change them. - What to? 153 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:45,928 - Norman Mailer. Samantha Shortcake. 154 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,097 It doesn't matter. You're the editor. 155 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,266 Edit the magazine. 156 00:05:50,349 --> 00:05:53,394 [Frumpy's "Morning"] 157 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:57,273 ♪ ♪ 158 00:05:57,356 --> 00:05:59,609 - ♪ Morning ♪ 159 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:02,487 ♪ Couldn't sleep after a long night ♪ 160 00:06:02,570 --> 00:06:04,864 ♪ ♪ 161 00:06:04,947 --> 00:06:06,783 ♪ Morning ♪ 162 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,869 ♪ I rolled around, in my nurse-wear tights ♪ 163 00:06:09,952 --> 00:06:12,830 ♪ ♪ 164 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:14,749 - Councilwoman Westbury. 165 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,919 - Oh, you must be Mr. Renetti. You were due ten minutes ago. 166 00:06:18,002 --> 00:06:20,129 - Well, I didn't want to show up empty-handed. 167 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:21,506 - Aw. - Congratulations 168 00:06:21,589 --> 00:06:23,132 on the landslide victory. 169 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,676 - Oh, thank you--I don't accept gifts from constituents. 170 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,346 Also, I grow my own, blue-ribbon winners-- 171 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:29,972 Crown of Thorns, three years running. 172 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,390 [both chuckle] - Very nice. 173 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,558 Well, what's the secret? 174 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,435 - Love. - Oh, that's nice. 175 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:37,563 - Would you mind grabbing that other brown file up there? 176 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,483 It's a little high for me. - It'd be my pleasure. 177 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:43,694 - So I'm assuming that you're here about the raid 178 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,321 conducted on your premises this morning? 179 00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:46,656 - Yeah. 180 00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:50,409 The list of citations was very creative. 181 00:06:50,493 --> 00:06:51,369 - Mm. 182 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:53,621 - Improper ventilation, um, 183 00:06:53,704 --> 00:06:55,623 expired darkroom materials, 184 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:57,500 and, uh, what was my favorite? 185 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,753 Access to egress. What does that even mean? 186 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,839 - Well, safety is job number one. 187 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,216 - Yeah, I agree, absolutely. 188 00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:06,551 You see, in the past, 189 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:09,178 uh, after I paid my fines, of course, 190 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:12,557 I've been able to expedite the release of my materials 191 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,225 by making a personal donation 192 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,811 to the charity of the councilman's choice. 193 00:07:16,894 --> 00:07:18,020 - Ah. - So... 194 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,064 - Wow, yes, some of my predecessors 195 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,066 were colorful characters. 196 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,027 I found a gun in my desk on my first day. 197 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,655 I kept it. - [laughs] 198 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:30,241 Well, maybe a donation to the NRA, then? 199 00:07:30,324 --> 00:07:34,203 - Oh, Mr. Renetti, are you aware that in the Valley, 200 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,498 there are more pornographers than there are pediatricians? 201 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:38,958 - I was not aware. 202 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,127 But if you need a doctor, I got a cousin named-- 203 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,920 - That won't be necessary. - Okay. 204 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:45,590 - You know, I was elected to restore 205 00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,009 the values of this community, so, you know, 206 00:07:48,092 --> 00:07:50,928 that's gonna mean pulling the weeds up by the roots. 207 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,222 Companies that exploit young girls 208 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,558 and drive down property values 209 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:59,896 and lead good men to stumble in their faith. 210 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,732 - The Dirty Dozen-- 211 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,735 Adulty's Bookstore, Romantix Saloon, 212 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,153 The Tickle Corner. 213 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:08,487 - Mm. 214 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:09,989 - [sighs] 215 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:11,908 What are you--what are you trying to do here, 216 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,326 cut out the Valley's heart? 217 00:08:13,409 --> 00:08:15,453 - [laughs] Or its tumor. 218 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:17,079 - Well, Councilwoman, 219 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,832 there's nothing illegal about any of these businesses. 220 00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,668 Despite how distasteful you might find them, 221 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,420 this is still a free country. 222 00:08:24,503 --> 00:08:25,755 - The job of government 223 00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,840 is to protect its citizens from bad actors. 224 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,218 If those actors find my oversight too onerous, 225 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,511 they are free to set up shop elsewhere. 226 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,681 I heard Oxnard is lovely, and it's by the water. 227 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:36,933 - Come on. 228 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,517 - So if you'll excuse me, I have a tea 229 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,561 with the Daughters of the American Revolution. 230 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:43,648 And trust me, you don't want to keep those gals waiting. 231 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:46,025 [chuckles] You can see yourself out. 232 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:51,656 [Carleen & The Groovers' "Hot Pants"] 233 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,282 - This sucks. - Zip it. 234 00:08:53,366 --> 00:09:00,456 ♪ ♪ 235 00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,379 - ♪ Hey, mama ♪ 236 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,673 ♪ ♪ 237 00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:11,133 ♪ Showing up lookin' good ♪ 238 00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,761 ♪ With them skinny legs twisting around ♪ 239 00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:16,305 ♪ In them hot pants ♪ 240 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,016 ♪ Look at that, have mercy ♪ 241 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,726 - Auntie Joyce, I've never seen-- 242 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,478 - Hey, what did I tell you in the car? 243 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,854 Eyes down, mouth shut. 244 00:09:23,938 --> 00:09:26,816 - Tommy, I was not expecting to see you here. 245 00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,693 - And I was not expecting someone 246 00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:30,861 to light his classmate's buttocks on fire. 247 00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,572 - It wasn't his butt. It was his fart. 248 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,282 - Eugene is in the burn ward, Thomas. 249 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,033 I can't even look at you right now. 250 00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:38,411 Rest of the boxes, chop-chop. 251 00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:42,081 [sighs] My God, Joycie, this place is quite an operation. 252 00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:45,293 - Well, trust me, it's held together with masking tape. 253 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:48,504 [gasps] Aw, you ever read this article? 254 00:09:48,587 --> 00:09:51,340 "Out for Blood: The Fight for Menstrual Reckoning." 255 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,009 - Oh, of course, it challenged everything 256 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,136 I thought I knew about menstrual reckonings. 257 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:56,762 - Okay. - Oh, that reminds me. 258 00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:59,098 I got to pick up ketchup. It's meatloaf Monday. 259 00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,058 - Yay, Shelly's here! - Hi. 260 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:02,727 - Do you want a tour? It's kind of my thing. 261 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,270 - Yeah, I want to see everything. 262 00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:05,563 Wait, do I, or-- 263 00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,189 - Yes, you do. Maybe not that corner. 264 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:10,359 - [laughs] - Oh, that's so much fun. 265 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,862 But, um, could you just wait on that, 266 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,239 and instead, could you just help me go through these boxes 267 00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,408 and pick out the best-- you know, the best articles? 268 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:18,909 - Oh. - Okay. 269 00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:21,078 - I mean, I guess I could be here for an hour. 270 00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,371 - Oh, great. 271 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,040 - Where should I park this little pyro? 272 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,042 - Um, the lobby should be fine. - Follow me, cutie. 273 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,794 - Oh, uh, just know that any of the women you see here 274 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,546 appear in our photos voluntarily 275 00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:32,882 and are appropriately compensated, okay? 276 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,051 Oh, but you should also not expect the girls 277 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,888 that you're romantic with to be as open with their sexuality. 278 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:40,556 'Cause--oh, but if they are-- 279 00:10:40,639 --> 00:10:42,058 - Joyce. - Yeah. 280 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:44,226 - He's 13. - Oh, okay. 281 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,187 - You took scout sashes, why? 282 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,689 - Don't know, it was the closest thing to the door. 283 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:52,109 You know what? You take my stuff, I'm taking yours. 284 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,820 - That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. 285 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,447 We got a real problem here. - I know. 286 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,574 I looked in that woman's eyes. She wants to end us. 287 00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,493 Look, we got to get those boards back, 288 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:02,828 show her that we got friends in this community, too. 289 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,246 - And how are we supposed to do that? 290 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:06,082 - I don't know. Beg, borrow, or steal. 291 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:09,168 She thinks she's the Valley. Mm-mm, I'm the Valley. 292 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:10,586 - Okay, slow down, Capone. 293 00:11:10,669 --> 00:11:12,088 It was one thing to do that stuff 294 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:14,256 back in the day when we had nothing to lose. 295 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,009 Got real assets to protect now. 296 00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,594 Got to follow some rules. 297 00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,472 - Yeah, not exactly why I got into porn. 298 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:27,019 - I can call some people, find out who's got her ear, 299 00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:30,314 you know, aboveboard political stuff. 300 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,024 Play the long game. 301 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:36,612 Come out clean, get so big she can't fuck with us anymore. 302 00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:41,784 - Yeah, maybe you're right. 303 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,953 Let's try it your way. 304 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,413 - All right. 305 00:11:46,664 --> 00:11:51,043 - Uh, okay, so, um, which ones were your favorites? 306 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,962 - All of them. 307 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,089 - [crunches] 308 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,590 - Guys, it's okay. [chuckles] 309 00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,467 I'm not married to anything, all right? 310 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,469 Although I am a little in love 311 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,805 with that article on marital rape. 312 00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:05,224 - Oh, yeah. That one was neat. 313 00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:08,477 - You think marital rape is neat? 314 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,979 - [exhales deeply] 315 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,188 - You didn't read it. Okay. 316 00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,982 - Uh, we tried really hard. 317 00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,692 There just wasn't much to latch on to. 318 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,610 - Yeah. - All right, all right. 319 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,988 Uh, Shelly, you must have liked "Home Economics: 320 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,865 The Contretemps on Domestic Expiation"? 321 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,159 - I'm so sorry, Joycie. I couldn't get through it. 322 00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,910 - But I literally wrote it for you. 323 00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,328 It debates whether wives 324 00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,997 should be compensated for their housework. 325 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,498 - How was I supposed to know that? 326 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,625 - "The Contretemps on Domestic Expiation." 327 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,335 I don't know how I could be any clearer. 328 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,004 - Well, uh, what if you called it 329 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,047 "Kids Get Paid For Chores, Shouldn't Moms?" 330 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,757 - Mm. - I would read that. 331 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,177 - Well, yeah, if we want to go for the low-hanging fruit. 332 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:42,970 - For me, it was more, like, an energy thing. 333 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:45,097 It's like the articles didn't want to be read. 334 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:46,849 - Oh, my gosh. You put that so well. 335 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,518 It's like they were angry at me for even trying. 336 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:52,563 Joyce, this is one paragraph. I feel attacked. 337 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,274 - Yeah. - All right, okay. 338 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:58,277 I guess the gloves are off. Go ahead, I can take it. 339 00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,320 - Crabby. - Lifeless. 340 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:00,738 - Pedantic. 341 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:03,115 Yeah, I looked it up. I looked all these up. 342 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,825 I guess I mostly read the dictionary. 343 00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:08,204 - All right, well, um, thank you for your suggestions. 344 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:11,874 I will definitely give them some thought. 345 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,876 - Oh. - Uh, Jo-- 346 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:17,213 - Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Understood. 347 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,298 No, thank you. 348 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,799 Okay. 349 00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:34,939 [music playing softly, indistinct chatter] 350 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,152 - Can I help you with something? 351 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,404 - Oh, I'm just here with my mother. 352 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:45,157 - She a Horny Housewife or Milky Mom? 353 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:48,869 - Neither, I hope. Um, my aunt is an editor here. 354 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:52,206 And I got kicked out of summer school. 355 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:53,832 - Oh, been there. 356 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:58,170 - I'm in a lot of trouble. 357 00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,630 - [chuckles] 358 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,591 Well, let's see if we can brighten your day. 359 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,803 [The Pleasure Seekers' "What a Way to Die"] 360 00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,429 ♪ ♪ 361 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:10,015 - ♪ Well, I love you, baby ♪ 362 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:13,060 ♪ I'm telling you right here ♪ 363 00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:15,396 ♪ But please don't make me decide, baby ♪ 364 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:18,440 ♪ Between you and a bottle of beer ♪ 365 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:22,319 ♪ Baby, come on over ♪ 366 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:26,991 ♪ Come on over to my side, come on, baby ♪ 367 00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:29,535 ♪ My side ♪ 368 00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:32,580 ♪ Well, I may not live past 21 ♪ 369 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:36,542 ♪ But, whoo, what a way to die ♪ 370 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:40,963 ♪ ♪ 371 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:44,133 ♪ Your lovin' fluctuates, baby ♪ 372 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,218 ♪ And everybody knows ♪ 373 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,388 ♪ But the temperature always stays the same ♪ 374 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,807 ♪ On an ice-cold bottle of Stroh's ♪ 375 00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:55,644 ♪ So, baby, come on over ♪ 376 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:58,731 ♪ Oh, come on over to my side ♪ 377 00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:00,649 ♪ Come on over, honey ♪ 378 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,152 ♪ ♪ 379 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,030 ♪ Well, I may not live past 21 ♪ 380 00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:08,365 ♪ But, whoo, what a way... ♪ 381 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:11,619 - Oh, there she is, 382 00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:15,664 the Valley's most eligible bachelorette. 383 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,166 - It's going to take an honest man 384 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,168 to make an honest woman out of me, Dougie. 385 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,462 That rules you out. - [laughs] 386 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:22,963 - This never happened. 387 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,548 - I don't even know what you're talking about. 388 00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:26,592 I will be in and out in no time. 389 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,969 Thank you. 390 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:33,098 - ♪ Oh, come on over to my side, come on ♪ 391 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,435 ♪ ♪ 392 00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:39,229 ♪ Well, I may not live past 21 ♪ 393 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:43,233 ♪ But, whoo, what a way to die ♪ 394 00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:48,447 ♪ ♪ 395 00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:53,744 - Mr. Renetti, after our little meeting today, 396 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,496 I asked around about you. 397 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,206 Ooh, you are quite the rapscallion. 398 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,707 [chuckles] - Okay, listen, lady, 399 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,210 my employees are your constituents, too. 400 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,587 What happens to them if I lose my business? 401 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,048 - Well, I've found Valley folk to be tremendously resilient. 402 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,133 And with the dynamic economy that we're building, 403 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,885 there's gonna be plenty of opportunity 404 00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:12,221 for people to pursue respectable work. 405 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,223 - When are you up for reelection? 406 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:15,766 [both chuckle] 407 00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:17,768 - I'm certain I will have your vote 408 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,436 before that day arrives. 409 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,605 By the way, there was a bag in my office. 410 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,107 It grew feet and scurried off 411 00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:25,109 right about the time you popped by. 412 00:16:25,192 --> 00:16:26,777 Troop 17 has their pictures tonight, 413 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:29,405 and the girls cannot pose without their sashes. 414 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,032 - That is so unfortunate. 415 00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:35,285 Well, it seems like we both need something back, don't we? 416 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,578 - Hmm. 417 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,831 - Keep 'em, Carole. - She won't let me. 418 00:16:40,999 --> 00:16:44,086 [indistinct chatter] 419 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,926 - Hi. - Hi, Joyce, you okay? 420 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,262 - There were 32 different boas stuffed in the corner, 421 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:54,930 so I have organized them now 422 00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:57,599 into color, length, and species. 423 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,643 - Oh. - Oh, looks a lot better. 424 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,228 - Mm-hmm. - It does, mm-hmm. 425 00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:02,271 - Hey, babes. 426 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,398 So we were thinking, you know, 427 00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,233 maybe it wasn't very helpful of us 428 00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:07,693 to criticize your magazine 429 00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:10,154 and not have any ideas of our own. 430 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:13,323 So we came up with some stuff. - Oh. 431 00:17:13,407 --> 00:17:14,992 - Since we need to fill more pages, 432 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:17,453 I tweaked the layout of some of the existing material. 433 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,413 I created a jazzy infographic 434 00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:21,498 based on the birth-control article. 435 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,292 I added a whole page. 436 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,960 - And I changed the headline 437 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:28,922 from "Eisenstadt v. Baird: Reproductive Justice Granted" 438 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,467 to "Hooray, Now Single Gals Can Get the Pill." 439 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,385 See? It's catchy. 440 00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:35,512 - Hmm. That, uh--that is a change. 441 00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,973 - And last but hopefully not least, 442 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,641 I used the reject Polaroids 443 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,936 from the centerfold casting and made this. 444 00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,814 - What am I looking at? - It's a game. 445 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,691 You match the man with the penis. 446 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:48,942 [laughter] - It's cute. 447 00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:50,736 - Why? - Well, first of all, 448 00:17:50,819 --> 00:17:52,529 it's a lot tougher than you think--I mean, try it. 449 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,490 - Yeah, and we thought it might be a little bit shocking 450 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:58,202 to flip from your article on female genital mutilation 451 00:17:58,285 --> 00:18:01,830 straight into a two-page spread of that fireman's dingle dong. 452 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,082 - Yeah, you--you need a transition, kind of, like, 453 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:06,210 a scoop of sorbet in between courses. 454 00:18:06,293 --> 00:18:07,836 - Yeah. - That's good. 455 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,130 - So this is what you've been working on all day? 456 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,590 - And Shelly's hair. - Yes. 457 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:13,175 - And my makeup. - Doesn't she look gorgeous? 458 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,428 - Stop it. - I don't know how to do this. 459 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,181 I don't know how to make you understand 460 00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,724 that this magazine is not a joke. 461 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,351 You know, we don't do bubble letters 462 00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,852 or dumbed-down headlines 463 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,438 or penis games with no redeeming social value. 464 00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:27,815 My God, Doug is making me 465 00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:29,525 do something that is impossible here, 466 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,527 and he is giving me absolutely no support. 467 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,695 - Joycie, w-we're your support. We're trying to help. 468 00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,364 - Yeah, but you can't, 469 00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:38,283 because a real magazine has real writers and real editors, 470 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,785 and it's not cobbled together 471 00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,496 at the last minute like it's Meatloaf Monday. 472 00:18:42,579 --> 00:18:45,833 - You're right. I don't know what we were thinking. 473 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,543 Good luck, Joyce. 474 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,179 - Wow, I've never seen one this big before. 475 00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,849 - Tommy, you're so good with your hands. 476 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,268 - Wow. What is going on in here? 477 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:05,894 No, sir. 478 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,730 - No, uh, he just told us about what happened with Eugene. 479 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:09,982 - Yeah. - Tough break. 480 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,275 - It's so sad. - Just awful. 481 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:12,860 - You know, kids make mistakes. 482 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:13,986 - Mm-hmm. 483 00:19:15,153 --> 00:19:16,572 - Um... 484 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:18,448 thank you. [chuckles] 485 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:19,575 - Sure. 486 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,410 - Okay, let's go. - So good. 487 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,911 - Excuse me. - Okay. 488 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,247 - Bye, Nikki, Jade, Lola, Amber, Roxy, Cherry. 489 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,040 - Bye, Tommy. - Bye. 490 00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:30,043 [rock music] 491 00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:37,009 ♪ ♪ 492 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:38,927 - You got to be kidding me. 493 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:46,101 ♪ ♪ 494 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:55,110 - Okay, Westbury comes out of her house, you know. 495 00:19:55,193 --> 00:19:56,612 Obviously there's your car. 496 00:19:56,695 --> 00:19:59,740 Later in the day, fancy lunch, Antonio's maybe? 497 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,950 There's your car again. 498 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,702 - When do we go in her house? 499 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:05,579 - We're not breaking in. This is intimidation. 500 00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,205 We're just trying to get in her head. 501 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,957 - It would be easier, though, just to kill her. 502 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,793 - Arkady, please, this is a simple plan, no improvising. 503 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,503 We're just trying to intimidate her-- 504 00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,505 [door opens] 505 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:19,384 Oh, what the fuck? Excuse me, gentlemen. 506 00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,011 Joyce. - Hi. 507 00:20:21,094 --> 00:20:22,888 - If you finished early and you're coming in here 508 00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:25,223 to tie one on, boy, have I misjudged you. 509 00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,184 - No, I-I can't finish. - Of course you can finish. 510 00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:29,519 Okay, this is what it means to be a boss--you're just fine. 511 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:30,979 - Well, maybe I'm not cut out 512 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,981 for leadership because I'm not getting... 513 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,442 Who are those guys? - Ah, they're associates. 514 00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:36,985 Nothing to worry about. 515 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:39,154 - Why are they staring at me, then? 516 00:20:39,237 --> 00:20:41,281 - I don't know. They're curious gentlemen. 517 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:42,991 What were you saying? What do you need? 518 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,326 - Are you plotting something? 519 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:46,286 - No, I'm not plotting anything. 520 00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:48,997 Joyce, you handle editorial. I'll handle the business, okay? 521 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,666 - This is business? - Yes, this is business. 522 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,668 I've been dealing with politicians for 15 years. 523 00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,544 They come, and they go. I'm still here. 524 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,004 - Yeah, which is a miracle, frankly. 525 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,256 What, are you gonna kidnap some scouts 526 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,300 or steal their cookies? 527 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:01,802 - [scoffs] So you heard about that? 528 00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:04,012 - Yes. - Look, I don't steal, Joyce... 529 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,347 - [scoffs] 530 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,182 - From people who don't deserve it, okay? 531 00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:09,101 - What I'm trying to do is real, 532 00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,520 and it's hard, and there are no shortcuts. 533 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:13,897 I can see I came to the wrong place for any help. 534 00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,524 - That's enough, okay? 535 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:16,817 How about this? 536 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,569 Do your fucking job, and I'll do mine. 537 00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,282 - Okay, we'll see about that. 538 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,494 [door opens, closes] 539 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,082 - We're good, gentlemen. - Spasibo. 540 00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:33,667 My Svetlana will love these. 541 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,585 - Pozhaluysta. - [laughs] 542 00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:37,754 - Okay, girls. Your attention, please. 543 00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:40,257 I know these aren't real, but if there's one thing 544 00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:43,635 scouts know how to do, it's improvise and stay chaste. 545 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,679 - Councilwoman Westbury. 546 00:21:45,762 --> 00:21:47,848 Hello. Hi, I am Joyce Prigger. 547 00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:49,266 I am a big admirer of yours, 548 00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:52,269 ever since you ran for school board in '65. 549 00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:54,855 - Oh, well, I couldn't just sit back and watch them 550 00:21:54,938 --> 00:21:56,940 teach our kids Salinger, now, could I? 551 00:21:57,024 --> 00:21:58,650 - Certainly not, no. 552 00:21:58,734 --> 00:22:00,736 Um, but you, you're an inspiration-- 553 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,112 the way you've been able 554 00:22:02,195 --> 00:22:04,156 to balance raising a family with a career. 555 00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:06,241 I mean, the first city councilwoman 556 00:22:06,324 --> 00:22:08,201 in all of Southern California. 557 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,494 You're a pioneer. 558 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,621 - Oh, well, I have a bottomless can 559 00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:14,082 of Folgers and a crackerjack all-female staff. 560 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,251 Are you looking to get into politics? 561 00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:18,754 - Oh, uh, no, um, no, I'm just--I'm actually here 562 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:21,256 to, um, return these 563 00:22:21,339 --> 00:22:24,593 with apologies from Doug Renetti. 564 00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:28,722 Okay, well, it seems like you two got off on the wrong foot. 565 00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:33,518 - Mm-hmm. Marian, be a lamb and, um, distribute these 566 00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:35,771 and, uh, organize the girls. 567 00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:37,230 - Ja, fraulein. 568 00:22:37,314 --> 00:22:38,940 - Apologies for my daughter. 569 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:40,609 She has a unique sense of humor. 570 00:22:40,692 --> 00:22:42,235 - Yeah. 571 00:22:42,319 --> 00:22:44,571 Um, I think you got the wrong impression of Bottom Dollar, 572 00:22:44,654 --> 00:22:46,990 and even of Doug Renetti, actually, because, 573 00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:49,076 look, I know he can be a little rough around the edges, 574 00:22:49,159 --> 00:22:50,535 but you know what? 575 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:52,370 He was the only one who would take a chance 576 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:53,955 on publishing my magazine. 577 00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:55,916 It's a road map for the next generation of women, 578 00:22:55,999 --> 00:22:59,544 for girls like yours who will redefine what's possible. 579 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:00,962 - Really? 580 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,298 What kind of articles are in this magazine of yours? 581 00:23:03,381 --> 00:23:05,634 - Oh, well, important topics, you know-- 582 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:07,302 uh, Title IX, ERA. 583 00:23:07,385 --> 00:23:09,805 - Mm, mm-hmm. Annabelle! 584 00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,473 What do you think of the ERA? 585 00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:13,683 - I don't want to get drafted and die in Vietnam. 586 00:23:13,767 --> 00:23:15,018 - Hmm. - Oh. 587 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,311 - Julie, would you like to weigh in? 588 00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:17,646 - If I get divorced, 589 00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:19,606 I don't want to pay my husband alimony. 590 00:23:19,689 --> 00:23:20,816 - Even if he raises the kids 591 00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:23,318 while you attend medical school? 592 00:23:23,401 --> 00:23:24,653 All right, well, what about the right 593 00:23:24,736 --> 00:23:26,071 to join a male scout group 594 00:23:26,154 --> 00:23:27,697 if you want to learn about wood carving 595 00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,491 and wilderness survival, instead of-- 596 00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:31,785 - Do you carve a lot of wood? 597 00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:34,996 - No, but I do believe that I should have the right to. 598 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,749 - This one has a turtleneck. - I just--I don't know. 599 00:23:37,833 --> 00:23:39,376 It's a lot harder than it looks. 600 00:23:39,459 --> 00:23:40,794 - Oh, my God. 601 00:23:40,877 --> 00:23:43,130 - Where's the answer key? - Give that to me! 602 00:23:43,213 --> 00:23:45,048 Oh, my gosh. - Oh, it-- 603 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,758 - Is this your road map? 604 00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,844 I'm fairly certain that leads straight to hell. 605 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:51,012 - Oh, for Pete's sake, they're just penises, 606 00:23:51,096 --> 00:23:53,932 minding their own business-- it's silly, and it's fun. 607 00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:55,767 And there's something to be said 608 00:23:55,851 --> 00:23:58,353 for not taking oneself so seriously. 609 00:23:58,436 --> 00:24:00,522 - Ah, well, we clearly have very different ideas 610 00:24:00,605 --> 00:24:02,107 about how to shape the minds of young women. 611 00:24:02,190 --> 00:24:03,942 And if you've already aligned yourself 612 00:24:04,025 --> 00:24:06,361 with the likes of Mr. Renetti, I can assure you that your days 613 00:24:06,444 --> 00:24:08,780 in the San Fernando Valley are numbered. 614 00:24:08,864 --> 00:24:10,490 Okay, girls, enough monkey business. 615 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:13,285 Form up! Don't dawdle. Let's go. 616 00:24:13,368 --> 00:24:16,663 Now, I want big smiles, straight spines, 617 00:24:16,746 --> 00:24:18,582 and flat tummies. 618 00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:20,292 Suck it in, Ruth. 619 00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:23,336 [rock music] 620 00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:25,755 - Oh, thank God you're still here. 621 00:24:25,839 --> 00:24:27,465 Okay. We have a magazine to make. 622 00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:28,884 - Oh, we? 623 00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:31,011 - Look I am so, so sorry about today, okay? 624 00:24:31,094 --> 00:24:33,555 You came in with enthusiasm and ideas, 625 00:24:33,638 --> 00:24:35,765 and I just stole your joie de vivre. 626 00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:39,102 The truth is, I am in way over my head 627 00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:40,896 but I have to figure it out. 628 00:24:40,979 --> 00:24:42,564 We have to figure it out, 629 00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:45,108 if not for us, then for the girls who come next, 630 00:24:45,192 --> 00:24:49,070 because I have seen the future, and it is terrifying. 631 00:24:49,154 --> 00:24:50,739 - Like you at 4:00 p.m.? 632 00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:52,741 - Oh, scarier. 633 00:24:52,824 --> 00:24:58,038 ♪ ♪ 634 00:24:58,121 --> 00:25:01,625 - Let's get to work, boss. - Oh, okay. 635 00:25:01,708 --> 00:25:02,876 Oh, my God. 636 00:25:02,959 --> 00:25:05,921 - ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪ 637 00:25:06,004 --> 00:25:07,380 [indistinct chatter] 638 00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:09,090 ♪ I remember ♪ 639 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:12,886 ♪ when we first met we said we'd never part ♪ 640 00:25:12,969 --> 00:25:14,554 - ♪ We'd never part ♪ 641 00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:17,557 - ♪ Darling, we both understood that ♪ 642 00:25:17,641 --> 00:25:20,101 ♪ Everything was good about you ♪ 643 00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,020 ♪ I can't live without you ♪ 644 00:25:22,103 --> 00:25:24,397 ♪ Now that we are broken up, darling ♪ 645 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:26,274 ♪ My life is nothing without you ♪ 646 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:27,525 - ♪ We... ♪ 647 00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:30,070 - This layout, was it Curt? - Richie. 648 00:25:30,153 --> 00:25:33,531 It's not just photography. He has a real eye for design. 649 00:25:33,615 --> 00:25:35,659 - Great. The game is new. 650 00:25:35,742 --> 00:25:37,869 - It's fun. Bambi's fun. 651 00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:39,621 - She loves her mix and match. 652 00:25:39,704 --> 00:25:41,414 Look, I don't know how you did it, 653 00:25:41,498 --> 00:25:44,209 but this is the best version of this rag I've seen so far. 654 00:25:44,292 --> 00:25:45,961 - Right? 655 00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:47,754 Yeah, it really came together. 656 00:25:47,837 --> 00:25:51,007 - Ah, even Samantha Shortcake got a piece in it. 657 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,884 - Samantha Short is a nom de plume 658 00:25:52,968 --> 00:25:54,636 I will use very proudly. 659 00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:56,596 - Great, good stuff. 660 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:58,974 ♪ ♪ 661 00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:02,686 - You know, Doug, in your own way... 662 00:26:02,769 --> 00:26:05,272 you're actually a really good boss. 663 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:08,858 I just--I want to say thank you for giving "Minx" a chance. 664 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:11,111 - Are you trying to get in my pants, Prigger? 665 00:26:11,194 --> 00:26:13,154 'Cause I don't put out in the office anymore. 666 00:26:13,238 --> 00:26:14,447 - Okay. 667 00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:17,158 - I learned that lesson many times. 668 00:26:17,242 --> 00:26:19,828 Oh, by the way, I love the new headlines. 669 00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:21,579 They're punchy and understandable, 670 00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:24,332 which I didn't know you could be. 671 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:25,709 Good work. 672 00:26:25,792 --> 00:26:31,798 ♪ ♪ 673 00:26:31,881 --> 00:26:34,884 [vacuum whirring] 674 00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,052 - Tommy! 675 00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:37,929 - It was Bobby. - Yeah, was it? 676 00:26:38,013 --> 00:26:39,764 That was my grandmother's owl! [doorbell rings] 677 00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:42,017 [muffled talking on TV] Turn it down! 678 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:44,019 Okay, the Hendersons have their own TV. 679 00:26:44,102 --> 00:26:46,021 They don't want to hear ours. 680 00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:47,147 [crash] 681 00:26:47,230 --> 00:26:48,773 Jesus Christ! 682 00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:51,693 Do you know why babies come out looking like the dad? 683 00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:53,778 It's some, like, evolutionary thing, 684 00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:55,488 so men won't eat their young. 685 00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:58,992 But was does biology do for the moms, Joyce? 686 00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:03,246 - I have kind of a crazy idea. 687 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:05,623 - Oh, no. I already tried Quaaludes. 688 00:27:05,707 --> 00:27:08,084 - No, what if you came to work for "Minx"? 689 00:27:08,168 --> 00:27:09,878 I mean, mornings or a few times a week, 690 00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,671 whatever's good for you. 691 00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:13,840 - What, because yesterday went so well? 692 00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,508 - Okay. I know I was not at my best. 693 00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:17,761 - You know, just because people can't do what you do 694 00:27:17,844 --> 00:27:20,347 doesn't mean they can't do something. 695 00:27:20,430 --> 00:27:22,515 - See, yeah, that right there, that's what I need. 696 00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:26,061 You're so good with Bambi and Tina and Richie. 697 00:27:26,144 --> 00:27:28,480 It's--and you've always been funnier than me. 698 00:27:28,563 --> 00:27:31,399 - Low bar. - Okay, thank you. 699 00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:32,901 I mean, when you think about it, 700 00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:35,653 making a magazine isn't entirely different 701 00:27:35,737 --> 00:27:37,489 from making a meatloaf. [thud on window] 702 00:27:37,572 --> 00:27:40,075 Oh, my God. Jesus, Tommy! 703 00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,118 - Oh, no, that's Bobby. 704 00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:44,496 His anus is bluer. 705 00:27:44,579 --> 00:27:47,457 - Okay, you really, really need to get out of your house. 706 00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:50,710 [upbeat rock music] 707 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:52,170 - Hey, Barb. 708 00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:54,506 Yeah, give me a Maker's and a banana daiquiri. 709 00:27:54,589 --> 00:27:57,092 - Sure thing, baby cakes. - Thanks. 710 00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:58,259 You seen "Minx"? 711 00:27:58,343 --> 00:28:00,261 - Looks good, bumpy ride. 712 00:28:00,345 --> 00:28:02,138 - Yeah, kid pulled it off. It's great. 713 00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:04,766 - Barely. But bought us 24 to 36 hours. 714 00:28:04,849 --> 00:28:07,477 - Well, it looks like we won't be getting that jet 715 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,020 until next year, huh? 716 00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:15,402 ♪ ♪ 717 00:28:15,485 --> 00:28:18,196 - Yep, seems our new councilwoman has a few secrets 718 00:28:18,279 --> 00:28:20,073 of her own. 719 00:28:20,156 --> 00:28:21,783 - I mean, we show her this, 720 00:28:21,866 --> 00:28:24,411 she moves on to someone else right away. 721 00:28:24,494 --> 00:28:26,287 - Mm-hmm. 722 00:28:26,371 --> 00:28:27,664 - Man... 723 00:28:27,747 --> 00:28:28,998 ♪ ♪ 724 00:28:29,082 --> 00:28:30,333 How'd you get this? 725 00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:33,086 I had a favor to call in, and I used it. 726 00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:35,130 That's all you need to know. 727 00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:37,424 - Great. 728 00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:40,051 [scoffs] 729 00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:44,639 ♪ ♪ 730 00:28:44,722 --> 00:28:47,016 Put that somewhere where I can't get it. 731 00:28:47,100 --> 00:28:48,935 - Here you go, hon. 732 00:28:49,018 --> 00:28:51,062 - Hey, do me a favor. 733 00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,356 Stay straight. That's how this works. 734 00:28:53,440 --> 00:29:00,530 ♪ ♪ 735 00:29:14,252 --> 00:29:15,670 - One, two. 736 00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:18,965 [The Cooperettes' "Satisfaction"] 737 00:29:19,048 --> 00:29:26,139 ♪ ♪ 738 00:29:30,018 --> 00:29:34,647 - ♪ Satisfaction ♪ 739 00:29:34,731 --> 00:29:39,360 ♪ Satisfaction is what I want ♪ 740 00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:43,490 ♪ Satisfaction ♪ 741 00:29:43,573 --> 00:29:47,744 ♪ Satisfaction is what I ♪ 742 00:29:47,827 --> 00:29:51,873 ♪ I'm tired of being the one that love passes by ♪ 743 00:29:51,956 --> 00:29:54,459 - ♪ I want to be satisfied ♪ - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 744 00:29:54,542 --> 00:29:56,753 ♪ There's nothing I won't try ♪ 745 00:29:56,836 --> 00:29:58,755 ♪ If I could get a chance ♪ 746 00:29:58,838 --> 00:30:03,176 ♪ Then I would have romance, if I had it once ♪ 747 00:30:03,259 --> 00:30:06,513 ♪ 'Cause satisfaction is what I want ♪ 748 00:30:06,596 --> 00:30:09,224 - ♪ Satisfaction ♪ 749 00:30:09,307 --> 00:30:12,060 - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ - ♪ Satisfaction ♪ 750 00:30:12,143 --> 00:30:15,480 - ♪ Oh, yeah, is what I want ♪ 751 00:30:15,563 --> 00:30:17,232 ♪ ♪ 752 00:30:17,315 --> 00:30:19,692 ♪ Love is passing ♪ 753 00:30:19,776 --> 00:30:23,905 ♪ Satisfaction ♪ 754 00:30:23,988 --> 00:30:26,991 ♪ No one gives you, what did I do? ♪ 755 00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:28,493 - ♪ I didn't do nothing ♪ 756 00:30:28,576 --> 00:30:30,495 ♪ Don't deserve the sun coming in ♪ 757 00:30:30,578 --> 00:30:31,996 - ♪ If I could get one chance ♪ 758 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,831 - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 759 00:30:33,915 --> 00:30:36,459 ♪ To prove that I'm worthy, to be qualified ♪ 760 00:30:36,543 --> 00:30:41,172 ♪ To have love desired, if I had a chance ♪ 761 00:30:41,256 --> 00:30:44,259 ♪ Satisfaction is what I want ♪ 762 00:30:44,342 --> 00:30:48,805 - ♪ I'm just hopin' ♪ - ♪ For your company ♪ 763 00:30:48,888 --> 00:30:52,225 - ♪ If I hold on ♪ - ♪ It will surely come... ♪