1 00:00:10,261 --> 00:00:12,722 [Doug] You really gonna leave all this for business school? 2 00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:13,931 I was thinkin' about it. 3 00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:15,307 Well, don't. 4 00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:17,268 The best is yet to come. 5 00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:18,894 [Lenny] Hey, honey, I'm home. 6 00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,813 You know, I was thinking about you and Bambi, 7 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,021 seeing you two together like that... 8 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,399 Like what? 9 00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,276 But she came to, um... 10 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,570 Over to, uh, borrow this bra. 11 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:28,779 - [Bambi] Oh, yes. - Mm-hmm. 12 00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,865 I lost mine in a well. 13 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:32,324 [Doug] Constance Papadopoulos. 14 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:33,451 - I love it. - [Doug] I pitched her 15 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:34,827 on investing in Bottom Dollar. 16 00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:36,954 No, look, she's-she's retired from shipping. 17 00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,581 She... no. She has zero publishing experience. 18 00:00:38,748 --> 00:00:40,374 I just hear "deep pockets 19 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:42,543 with no big ideas of what to do with a magazine." 20 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:44,044 Why didn't I think of that? 21 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,629 You don't have to. That's why you got me. 22 00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,631 Maybe I have one good chapter left. 23 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:50,176 I cannot believe he was right. 24 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,261 [Constance] Yes, he was. But do we need him? 25 00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,807 [T. Rex's "Children of the Revolution" playing] 26 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,184 [camera shutters snapping] 27 00:00:58,350 --> 00:01:01,145 ♪ ♪ 28 00:01:02,188 --> 00:01:03,606 [singer] ♪ Yeah ♪ 29 00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:07,985 [crowd cheering] 30 00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:11,322 [singer] ♪ Well, you can bump And grind... ♪ 31 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,157 [crowd chanting] 32 00:01:13,324 --> 00:01:15,910 ♪ It's good for your mind ♪ 33 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,578 ♪ Well, you... ♪ 34 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,497 Now this is what I call a comeback, huh? 35 00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,916 Yeah, baby. 36 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,126 [singer] ♪ No, you won't fool ♪ 37 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,754 ♪ The children Of the revolution ♪ 38 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,297 ♪ No, no... ♪ 39 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,383 When I bought this company three weeks ago, 40 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:34,178 this is exactly the kind of cultural happening 41 00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:35,888 that I hoped to become a part of. 42 00:01:36,055 --> 00:01:39,391 And I have this man and his global vision 43 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,685 to thank for pulling me out of a premature retirement 44 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:44,897 and hosting this historic event. 45 00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:48,067 You know, a lot of people counted us out. 46 00:01:48,234 --> 00:01:52,363 But we are back, and we are better than ever 47 00:01:52,530 --> 00:01:54,281 with the hottest new movie 48 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,867 to launch the hottest new company, BDP. 49 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,910 Remember that name. 50 00:01:59,078 --> 00:02:01,247 We're becoming a major player in media. 51 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,165 And, sure, Minx is our flagship, 52 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,544 but we're gonna be so much more than just one magazine. 53 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,796 I'm CFO, chief fun officer. 54 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:11,090 And I'm art director, which is an actual title. 55 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:13,092 We're building a catalog of new magazines. 56 00:02:13,259 --> 00:02:15,343 Hosting fancy parties like this one. 57 00:02:15,511 --> 00:02:16,762 There might even be some merchandise 58 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:18,222 - coming your way. - [camera shutter snaps] 59 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:20,099 You said you wanted splashy. 60 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:21,934 - Is this splashy enough? - Well, it's a beginning. 61 00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:23,811 Where's our star editor? Not here yet? 62 00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:25,020 Oh, Joyce? Uh, she's coming. 63 00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:26,230 She loves red carpets. 64 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:27,648 She absolutely loves them. 65 00:02:27,815 --> 00:02:32,278 [protesters shouting "Porn-no"] 66 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:33,988 [protesters] Faith not filth. Faith not filth. 67 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,740 Faith not filth. Faith not filth! 68 00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:39,076 [streaker] Whoo! Yeah. 69 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,709 [camera shutters snapping] 70 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,129 - Hello! - Where were you? 71 00:02:50,296 --> 00:02:52,298 [Joyce] Oh, sorry. The 101 was crazy. 72 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,799 No, it wasn't. That's how we got here. 73 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,759 Okay, fine. I was writing my editor's letter. 74 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,261 A fine thank-you for giving her the bigger office. 75 00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:58,554 They're the same size. 76 00:02:58,721 --> 00:02:59,930 The glass creates an optical illusion. 77 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,307 - They are not. - [Joyce] Look, it's 78 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,391 the first issue with the new owner. 79 00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:04,476 I wanted to make the right statement, okay? 80 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:08,647 And, um, speaking of, are we sure that Deep Throat 81 00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,816 is really putting our best foot forward? 82 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,484 Oh, I think so. It's a really feminist tale. 83 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:13,986 It's about a woman searching for an orgasm. 84 00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:16,030 Yeah, which she finds via a clitoris 85 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,657 conveniently located inside of her mouth? 86 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:19,867 It's always in the last place you look. 87 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,452 [both chuckle] 88 00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:22,912 This is our big launch, Joycey, 89 00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,371 just smile and make us look good. 90 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,623 - Have a little fun. - All right. 91 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,124 This is a big win for us. 92 00:03:27,291 --> 00:03:28,500 - [Joyce] Yeah. - Oh, my gosh, 93 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:29,835 there are so many fabulous people here. 94 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,086 Any new names on the, uh, guest list? 95 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:34,506 Red Buttons, the Alans... Alda and Arkin... 96 00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:35,841 And, you're never gonna believe this, 97 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:37,551 Warren frickin' Beatty. 98 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,345 - [chuckles] - Connie's gonna love this. 99 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:40,971 Porn has gone mainstream. We should have 100 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,264 - an after-party, right? - Yes. 101 00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:43,265 - [Joyce] No. No. - [Doug] Yes, let's do 102 00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,682 - an after-party. - God no. 103 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,560 The second this is over, I'm at home in the bath. 104 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,770 Joan Didion has a new piece in the Paris Review. 105 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,480 I've been saving it. 106 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,857 - It's 7,000 words, no pictures. - It's a quick read. 107 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,317 - [camera shutters snapping] - [screaming] 108 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:54,401 [Doug] Rich, go take some photos. 109 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,861 Bambs, mingle. 110 00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,488 When you see Warren Beatty, let me know. 111 00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,657 - I wanna meet him. - Definitely. 112 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:00,824 What about me? 113 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,576 You're management, baby. 114 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,119 You're not lifting a finger. You just enjoy your night. 115 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,665 Well, we are certainly a long way from Seneca Falls. 116 00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,041 [chuckles nervously] Yeah. 117 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:10,209 [Constance] Come have a drink with me. 118 00:04:10,376 --> 00:04:11,668 - With pleasure. - You guys have fun. 119 00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,420 We will. Nice cane, by the way. 120 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,964 It's a walking stick. Churchill had one. 121 00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,298 So did Willy Wonka. 122 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,133 Oh, let him have his moment. 123 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,010 Poor man already feels like an appendage. 124 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,428 - [Timmy] Mr. Renetti... - What? 125 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,680 [Timmy] ...I'm Timmy, the projectionist. 126 00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,098 [Doug] Okay. 127 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,849 [Timmy] Sorry, sir, we have a problem. 128 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,267 Deep Throat is missing. 129 00:04:27,434 --> 00:04:29,353 [camera shutters snapping] 130 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:32,064 [Pretty's "Funhouse" playing] 131 00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:34,817 ♪ ♪ 132 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:37,778 [singer] ♪ Uhn, ahh ♪ 133 00:04:38,988 --> 00:04:41,365 [Doug] Okay. [Indistinct] 134 00:04:41,532 --> 00:04:42,908 Why are you freakin' me out, Timmy? 135 00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,619 - They're right here. - Yes, the canisters. 136 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:46,996 [Doug] Okay? 137 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,874 What am I lookin' at here? 138 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,668 That's Bedknobs and Broomsticks, 139 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,837 a five-time Academy Award nominated musical fantasy 140 00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,714 set during World War II. 141 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,382 Three adorable moppets are placed in the care 142 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,384 of an apprentice witch played by Angela Lansbury. 143 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,302 Apprentice? The woman's nearly 70 years old. 144 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,512 - [sighs] - [Timmy] Miss Lansbury's 145 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:05,389 in her early 40s. 146 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:06,765 She just has one of those faces. 147 00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,600 Well, unless somebody comes on that face 148 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:09,935 in the second act, 149 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:11,854 this audience is gonna eat me alive. 150 00:05:12,021 --> 00:05:13,105 What can I say, Doug? 151 00:05:13,272 --> 00:05:14,690 My old lady made me hire her son. 152 00:05:14,857 --> 00:05:17,443 He's a fuckin' moron. 153 00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,528 Yeah, Dwight, I'm talkin' about you. 154 00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,447 Aw, you really fucked me on this one, you know that? 155 00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:22,781 [Cliff] You think you got it bad? 156 00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,074 I'd hate to be at that birthday party 157 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,200 in Palos Verdes. 158 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,368 [person] I'm gonna slide 159 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,412 up and down the banister. 160 00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:30,456 I thought the bed was gonna fly. 161 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,332 I guess you could drive over there. 162 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,625 [Doug] It's a two-hour drive. 163 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,252 Jesus fucking Christ. 164 00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:36,754 I have a theater full of people. 165 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,047 My boss is here. 166 00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:40,507 You are in luck. 167 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,760 There's another copy of the film nearby. 168 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,261 Bob Evans been sittin' on it. 169 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,596 [Tina] Who the hell is Bob Evans? 170 00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:46,764 [Doug] He's some Hollywood hotshot, 171 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,015 and I think he did The Godfather. 172 00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,099 Here, give me that. Give me that. Come here. 173 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,642 - [Joyce] Director? - [Doug] Uh, no. 174 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:51,727 - [Joyce] Writer? - [Doug] I-I don't know. 175 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,937 All I know is, he's been spankin' it to this movie 176 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,481 - for two weeks straight. - [Richie] Ali MacGraw 177 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:57,316 left him for Steve McQueen. Cut the guy some slack. 178 00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:58,776 [Tina] Doug, what the hell are we doin'? 179 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,903 It's 30 minutes there. It's 30 minutes back. 180 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,404 Please... I'll-I'll vamp for the crowd. 181 00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,864 Just please do this for me. 182 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:05,365 [Richie] Thomas Guide? 183 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:06,784 [Doug] It's in the back seat. 184 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,911 And, please, easy on the brakes. 185 00:06:09,078 --> 00:06:11,330 It's a very expensive car. 186 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:12,456 Thank you, guys. I love you, I love you, 187 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:14,124 I love you. 188 00:06:14,291 --> 00:06:16,919 [protesters shouting "Porn-no"] 189 00:06:20,422 --> 00:06:21,840 [exhales] 190 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,133 - Everything all right? - Oh, with me? 191 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,843 Fantastic. Thank you for asking. 192 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,846 ♪ ♪ 193 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,642 Who's that? Who's that? 194 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,727 - Hmm? - Who was that? 195 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,521 - I don't know. Is he famous? - [Bambi] Hi! 196 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:36,313 - [Lenny] Hey. - I didn't think you guys 197 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,606 were gonna show. 198 00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:39,024 [Shelly] Yeah, me neither, 199 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:40,567 especially after I buried the first invitation 200 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:42,653 at the bottom of the trash can. 201 00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:43,862 But then the second one showed up 202 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:44,947 and this one got his hands on it, 203 00:06:45,114 --> 00:06:46,322 so here we are. 204 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,283 This scene is wild. 205 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,701 - [Shelly clears throat] - You know what? I am. 206 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:50,828 I'm gonna unbutton the second button. 207 00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:51,954 - Yes, fun. - [Shelly] No, no, no. 208 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:53,580 You have that eczema patch. 209 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,873 Oh, just put the chain over it. It'll be foxy. 210 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,708 [Shelly] No, no, no. I got it. I got it. 211 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:57,793 - I got it. It's okay. - [Bambi giggles] 212 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:58,961 That's perfect. Thank you. 213 00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,504 You guys, drinkies. 214 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:01,839 I'm Chief Fun Offering my services. 215 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,007 Um, uh, two Jack and Cokes, 216 00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,300 unless you have anything stronger. 217 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,844 Um, I'll see what they have. 218 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:08,303 - Mm-hmm. - [Joyce] Oh, my God. 219 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,721 Thank God you're here. 220 00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,014 You can keep me company at this bacchanal. 221 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,892 - [sighs] - Is that... uh, is that... 222 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,561 is that... no, don't... Is it Telly Savalas? 223 00:07:15,727 --> 00:07:16,687 [Shelly] That could be any bald head. 224 00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:17,980 [Lenny] No, no. Look at the gleam. 225 00:07:18,147 --> 00:07:19,398 That's him. That's Telly Savalas. 226 00:07:19,565 --> 00:07:20,899 - I know it. - [Joyce] God, the Lamberts 227 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,192 at Deep Throat. 228 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,861 What is the world coming to? 229 00:07:24,027 --> 00:07:26,196 Well, this film is the talk of the dental community. 230 00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:28,282 Yeah, if that smug Peter Strom wants to brag 231 00:07:28,447 --> 00:07:30,909 about his porcelain veneers again, then I'm gonna say, 232 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,619 "Oh, really? Well, guess what I got to see. 233 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:34,037 I got to see"... Yul Brynner. 234 00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:35,414 - Oh, is it? - [gasps] I knew 235 00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:36,456 - it was a celebrity skull. - I do like Yul. 236 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,667 [bell clanging] 237 00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,043 Now the movie's gonna start and I didn't say hi. 238 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,879 Uh, you can talk to him after. 239 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:42,796 - Shall we do this? - [Lenny] Maybe we're sitting 240 00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,214 - by him. - [Joyce] All right... 241 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,298 - Are we sitting by him? - [Shelly] No, we're 242 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,341 definitely not. We're not seated by him. 243 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:47,926 - How do you know? - Please don't. Please don't. 244 00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:49,928 [Bambi] That's such a snazzy jacket, Lenny. 245 00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,430 - [Lenny] Thank you. - [Bambi giggles] 246 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,223 I don't get to, uh, trot it out very often, 247 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,224 - but... - [Shelly] You know what? 248 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,559 Let's be close to the aisle. 249 00:07:55,726 --> 00:07:57,186 - [Doug] Okay. Ooh. - [Shelly] Yeah? 250 00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:58,187 - [Lenny] You want me to go... - [Bambi] Oh, that's so cute. 251 00:07:58,353 --> 00:07:59,438 Your bladder's the size of a pea. 252 00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:00,814 - [Shelly] Uh, Joyce... - [Joyce] Yeah. 253 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,149 [Shelly] You know what? You need to sit here. 254 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,775 - We have sister business. - [Bambi] Oh, okay. 255 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:05,110 Prigger! Joyce! 256 00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:06,737 Can I talk to you for a second? Now? 257 00:08:08,113 --> 00:08:09,281 - [Shelly sighs] - [Joyce] I'm so sorry, Bambi. 258 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,991 [Bambi] Okay. Yup. 259 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,576 Okay. Sorry. Excuse us. 260 00:08:12,743 --> 00:08:14,786 -[Bambi giggles] Sorry. 261 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:16,580 - Just scootch that on over. - [Shelly] Oh. 262 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:17,581 [Bambi] Okay, what do you think? 263 00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,082 Popcorn, nachos, dog of corn? 264 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,376 Oh, uh, nachos, please. 265 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,378 I have seen popcorn hulls get jammed 266 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:24,755 right up into the gumline. 267 00:08:24,922 --> 00:08:26,673 - Yeah. - Your job is so interesting. 268 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,467 Oh. 269 00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:29,760 Do you judge people when they get cavities, 270 00:08:29,927 --> 00:08:31,887 or is it nice to feel needed? 271 00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:33,847 Well, is it crazy if I say 272 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,724 - it's a little bit of both? - [both chuckle] 273 00:08:35,891 --> 00:08:37,935 - [laughs] - [Bambi] No. 274 00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:39,019 No, well, that's what I was saying... 275 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,604 [Joyce] Oh, no. 276 00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:42,481 Something gone awry with your mob-distributed 277 00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:44,316 - illegal film? - Okay, listen, Joyce, 278 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:46,068 I-I might have to get up there and vamp a little bit 279 00:08:46,235 --> 00:08:48,320 for the crowd, and-and-and I might pull you up, okay? 280 00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:49,988 And I'm gonna need you, if you get up there, 281 00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,615 to talk about the... Kind of the lady Minx 282 00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:52,658 perspective of the movie to keep people going. 283 00:08:52,824 --> 00:08:53,867 All right, the Minx perspective is gonna 284 00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:56,203 be quite happy in her seat, eating Nonpareils, okay? 285 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:57,955 - Want one? - No, I don't want a Nonpareil. 286 00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,748 Those are disgusting. 287 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:03,377 - Fuck. - [tires screech] 288 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,795 [car doors close] 289 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,049 - [intercom buzzes] - [garbled voice] What? 290 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,509 [Tina] We're here for the reels. 291 00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:13,345 [garbled voice] 292 00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:14,888 [Tina] No. Not Lady Sings the Blues. 293 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,766 - Deep Throat. - [voice speaking indistinctly] 294 00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:20,060 Okay, thank you. You too. 295 00:09:21,270 --> 00:09:23,855 - Kevin's coming down. - [Richie] If you say so. 296 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:26,608 [Doug] Welcome, everybody, to the biggest and baddest 297 00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,653 social event of 1973. 298 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,739 [cheers and applause] 299 00:09:32,905 --> 00:09:35,033 This movie is too hot for New York City. 300 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,868 They couldn't handle it. 301 00:09:37,035 --> 00:09:39,162 - Chicago couldn't handle it. - [laughter] 302 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,164 But this is LA, baby. 303 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:45,377 - Can we handle it? - [Timmy mutters] 304 00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,087 Oh. 305 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,469 But first, I wanna introduce. 306 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,139 Minx's own Joyce Prigger. 307 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:59,516 Come on up, Joycey. 308 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:01,810 You're gonna love her. I know I do. 309 00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:04,021 Get up, Joycey. 310 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,565 [Bambi] Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! Joyce! 311 00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:09,568 Joyce! Joyce! Whoo! 312 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,903 Whoo! 313 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,281 Surely we can work something out, guys. 314 00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,408 Shutting this down seems to be an extreme reaction 315 00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,701 to this situation. 316 00:10:17,868 --> 00:10:19,411 You placed ads on billboards. 317 00:10:19,578 --> 00:10:20,704 You got those drive time idiots 318 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:22,372 to yammer about it on the radio. 319 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,583 Then you wave your klieg lights across the city 320 00:10:24,750 --> 00:10:26,501 for a movie that's banned in half the country. 321 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:27,919 You tied the DA's hands. 322 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:31,006 Friends, you're killin' me right now. 323 00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,591 [Joyce] As we're all aware, 324 00:10:32,758 --> 00:10:35,761 Michelangelo was repulsed by the female form. 325 00:10:35,927 --> 00:10:38,305 - Um... uh... - [audience muttering] 326 00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,766 Uh, his greatest depictions... [chuckles weakly] 327 00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:44,102 ...were of virginal, untouched Mary. 328 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,812 [chuckles weakly] 329 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:50,817 - [feedback whines] - Uh... 330 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,402 Have you guys seen the movie? 331 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,488 It's more arthouse than it is porn. 332 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,781 You know what it's about? It's about a woman 333 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,324 - searching for pleasure... - Mr. Renetti, 334 00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,950 this is not a negotiation. 335 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,202 If a single frame of Deep Throat 336 00:11:00,369 --> 00:11:01,661 hits that screen, 337 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,082 we're gonna arrest you and everyone here. 338 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,626 [canisters clatter] 339 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:10,045 You guys really know how to rain 340 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:12,297 on someone's parade, you know that? 341 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:13,757 I just don't know what I'm gonna tell 342 00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:15,050 all those people in the theater. 343 00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:16,426 I got no Deep Throat now 'cause of you. 344 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,136 Well, better you say it here 345 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,304 than from the inside of a jail cell. 346 00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,517 [second cop] Good night, Mr. Renetti. 347 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,353 [Doug] I got egg all over my face, officers. 348 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,438 You win again. 349 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:30,023 - I lose again. - [engine rumbles] 350 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,691 Thanks for nothin', officers. 351 00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:34,361 [engine revs] 352 00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:39,449 [Richie] Deep dish pizza, 353 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,119 a lake as big as an ocean, 354 00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:43,203 - the Cubbies... - Is that a haiku? 355 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,288 [Richie] No. 356 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:46,832 I was just listing all the things 357 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,458 that you missed out on by turning down 358 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:51,169 - the University of Chicago. - [sighs] Don't start. 359 00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,088 Running Minx is my business school. 360 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,757 Tina, you're not running Minx. You're running errands. 361 00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,301 Doug can distract us with all the new titles he wants, 362 00:11:58,468 --> 00:12:01,012 but we're still his gofers. 363 00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:03,932 - [Kevin clears throat] - [Tina] Oh. 364 00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:05,350 There's supposed to be six. 365 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:06,726 Yeah. [Sighs] Bob wanted to give 366 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,395 the last three one more viewing. 367 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:09,688 - He's had it for a week. - [Kevin] I don't know, man. 368 00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:11,064 The engagement sequence cheers him up. 369 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,357 All right, I'll drive back with the first set. 370 00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:13,525 You stay and take a cab with the rest. 371 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:14,526 [Richie] Wha... 372 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,863 Oh, Porn Schlepping 101. I love that MBA program. 373 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,408 - [exhales] - [Kevin] Is that grass? 374 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,285 No. 375 00:12:23,452 --> 00:12:25,912 [The Screaming Gyspy Bandits' "Prematurely" playing] 376 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,665 [brakes screech] 377 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,208 - [Doug] Do you have 'em? - [Tina] Yes. 378 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,418 Yes. 379 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,255 Oh, Tina, hallelujah. 380 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,882 [both chuckle] 381 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:37,966 Tell me you weren't ridin' the brakes 382 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:39,009 like that the whole time. 383 00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,385 [Tina] Would you quit worrying? 384 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:41,845 [Doug] You kill the brakes when you do that. 385 00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,972 Uh, very good guess, but no, that is the perineum. 386 00:12:44,139 --> 00:12:45,974 [audience chuckles] 387 00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:49,352 Warren, for the 12th time, I know you know, all right? 388 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:53,064 We all know you now. Right? 389 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:56,526 Gentlemen, does any man in this room 390 00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:59,738 besides Warren Beatty over there, 391 00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:02,157 know where the clitoris is on a female body? 392 00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,034 [Shelly] Absolutely not. 393 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,535 Yes, good sir. 394 00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,913 The little nubbin under the beret. 395 00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:10,707 Ew. Jeez. 396 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,959 - But yes. Yes, yes. - [applause] 397 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,961 It's the nubbin. 398 00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,506 The nubbin, everybody. All right, now, let's... 399 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:22,093 Hey-hey, ladies and gentlemen, you've had enough of me. 400 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:24,596 Are you ready for the absurdist 401 00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:27,307 cinematic spectacle of our time, 402 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,850 Deep Throat? 403 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,728 [cheers and applause] 404 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:37,609 [funky music playing] 405 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,446 [cheers and applause] 406 00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,449 ♪ ♪ 407 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,453 [crickets chirping] 408 00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:49,788 [Richie] So do all of Bob's assistants 409 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:51,915 have to wait for him to jerk off? 410 00:13:52,082 --> 00:13:53,458 I'm actually a VP at Paramount. 411 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,960 [Richie chuckles] 412 00:13:55,126 --> 00:13:56,628 But I started as his assistant, 413 00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,588 and he can't stop thinkin' of me that way. 414 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,258 [sighs] The things he makes me do. 415 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:05,303 [chuckles] You know, if I ever have an assistant, 416 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:08,473 I swear I'm gonna be so nice to him. 417 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,475 - I do have an assistant. - [Richie] Mm. 418 00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:11,601 [Kevin] Who do you think is standing 419 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,979 - outside Bob's door right now? - [Richie giggles] 420 00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,400 No. No. I'm getting loopier by the second, so... 421 00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,570 And if I like you loopy? 422 00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,535 [Bob] Kevin, I'm done. I need 423 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:29,995 - a strawberry milkshake... - [Kevin sighs] 424 00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,162 [Bob] ...and a menthol cigarette. 425 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,290 Also, I, uh, fired your assistant. 426 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:34,666 He won't stop crying. 427 00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,251 - Duty calls. - Mm. 428 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:39,838 Can you get me a cab? 429 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:42,966 I have a better idea. 430 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:45,468 [tires squeal] 431 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:46,845 [doctor] Listen, having a clitoris 432 00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:48,388 deep down at the bottom of your throat 433 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,181 is better than having no clitoris at all. 434 00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:54,102 That's easy for you to say. [weeps] 435 00:14:54,269 --> 00:14:56,396 Suppose your balls were in your ear. 436 00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:00,650 Why, then I could hear myself coming. 437 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,612 [laughter] 438 00:15:04,863 --> 00:15:06,906 Listen, we have the problem solved. 439 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,867 All we have to do now is find a solution. 440 00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,994 - [both chuckle] - [Linda] Like what? 441 00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:12,329 - [Lenny chuckles] - [Linda weeps] 442 00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,664 [doctor] Like-like deep throat. 443 00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:15,999 [Shelly] Sorry, sorry, sorry. 444 00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:17,125 - Oh, my God. - [Linda] Deep what? 445 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,710 [doctor] Deep throat. 446 00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,378 [Linda] You make it sound so easy. 447 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,881 [doctor] Well, it is. 448 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:25,717 Try it. You'll like it. 449 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:28,219 [Linda] Well, what have I got to lose? 450 00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,137 - [doctor] Come dear. - [Doug] How much time 451 00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:30,513 we got left, Timmy? 452 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,766 Seven, maybe eight minutes. 453 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,768 [Doug] Well, it-it's better to give the audience 454 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,728 some Deep Throat than no Deep Throat, right? 455 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,688 No. It's way worse. 456 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,440 - See this crack? - [Doug] Yeah. 457 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,692 [Timmy] Sound of Music, '66. We spooled out 458 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:44,277 right as the Nazis rushed in. 459 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,570 [Doug] All right, so we are about to give blue balls 460 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:46,946 to this entire theater. 461 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:47,989 Is that what you're telling me right now? 462 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:49,949 Yes, sir. 463 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,786 [Doug] Teens? Teens? Please. 464 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:54,621 I need you. 465 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,373 I need you to go find Richie and figure out 466 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,707 what the holdup is. 467 00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:58,958 By the time I get there and back, 468 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:00,502 this reel'll be long done. It doesn't IN... 469 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:01,628 No, I have a plan for that. I have a plan for that. 470 00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:02,629 I'm gonna have Joyce go up there 471 00:16:02,796 --> 00:16:03,880 and tap dance a little bit. 472 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:05,465 - Please. Please. - Okay, but it... 473 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:06,633 - it just doesn't make sense. - [Doug] I-I-I need you 474 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,969 to go, please. 475 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:12,305 - I'm begging you. - Ooh, okay. Yep. 476 00:16:14,224 --> 00:16:15,809 [sighs] Oh, God. 477 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:21,189 It's a lot. Right? 478 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:22,774 I've mostly been watching the crowd 479 00:16:22,941 --> 00:16:24,442 - instead of the screen. - What? Oh, no. 480 00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:26,861 I-I-I had a large cola. 481 00:16:27,028 --> 00:16:28,822 You know, after three kids, whoosh, goes right through ya. 482 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,280 Well, Lenny seems to be having a good time. 483 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,908 [Shelly] Oh, yeah. Mark my words, 484 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:33,368 he's in there workshopping a Deep Throat joke 485 00:16:33,535 --> 00:16:34,703 he'll be telling for years. 486 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,289 [mutters indistinctly] 487 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,250 [Shelly] Huh? Ow! 488 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:42,544 What's wrong with you? 489 00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:44,921 [mutters indistinctly] 490 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:46,464 - Joan Didion? - Oh, my God. 491 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,134 Is it the auth... Joan Didion? Is she here? 492 00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,763 - [Joyce] Hi. Hi. - [Shelly] Oh, God. 493 00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,015 - I'm, uh... I'm Joyce... - [Joan] Joyce Prigger, yeah. 494 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,517 I enjoyed your little performance. 495 00:16:57,684 --> 00:17:00,729 Oh, God. Blech. [Chuckles] 496 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,063 What are you doing here? 497 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,357 Forming an opinion. 498 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,777 I wanted to see what all the... the fuss was about. 499 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,487 Well, people are here. [chuckles] 500 00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,614 You know, and people are really laughing. 501 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:12,906 But I-I think that's because 502 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:15,117 of the collective anxiety 503 00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,746 of watching something so unsettling on screen. 504 00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:21,207 The laughter's a nervous release, you know? 505 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,042 [chuckles] 506 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,335 I think they're laughing 'cause it's a comedy. 507 00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:26,171 Yes. I-I agree. 508 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,756 Well, I don't think it was their intent, 509 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,841 but, uh, regardless, 510 00:17:30,008 --> 00:17:32,010 they seem to have stumbled onto something. 511 00:17:32,177 --> 00:17:33,303 And will you excuse me? 512 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,641 [mouthing words] 513 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,813 Hey, Joan? 514 00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:47,317 Um, fun idea just occurred to me. 515 00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,610 - [Joan peeing] - What if you wrote 516 00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,236 about this for Minx? 517 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,488 [Joan] Uh... 518 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,406 Just some small musings, really. 519 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,449 Just you... just your thoughts 520 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,868 on what it all means. 521 00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:59,537 [Joan] It is possible to continue this conversation 522 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:01,664 at another time? 523 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,667 [Joyce] Well, uh, actually, 524 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:08,838 um, we're having an after-party, 525 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,466 um, which you should come to. 526 00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,593 Um, and we can... we can chat there 527 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,678 if you like and talk about life 528 00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:18,890 and star signs and... [chuckles] 529 00:18:19,057 --> 00:18:20,183 - Um... - [Joan] Oh. 530 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,560 - There you go. - [Joan] Yeah. 531 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:24,646 Is this in the valley? 532 00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,358 - [projector whirring] - [bang on door] 533 00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,401 Help me push this against the door. 534 00:18:30,568 --> 00:18:31,903 - It might buy us some time. - [Doug] Stop it. 535 00:18:36,074 --> 00:18:37,492 [Joyce] Her-her-her eyes were smiling. 536 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:38,910 You know? Like-like-like, 537 00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:42,121 - from ear to ear. Oh! - [canisters clatter] 538 00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:45,416 [Doug] Oh, God, no! [Groans] 539 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,876 - [Shelly] Oh! Oh, God. - [Doug grunts] 540 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,044 [Shelly] Oh, that's terrible. 541 00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:49,629 [Doug] Find reel four. 542 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,797 - [Joyce] All right. Jesus. - [Richie] Oh, okay. 543 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,298 I haven't seen any of it. How am I supposed to know 544 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,591 - what's in reel four? - [Doug] Shout it out. 545 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:54,551 - I'll know. - [Richie] I've got, uh, 546 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,177 pubic shaving. 547 00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:57,762 Is this the nurse making whoopie? 548 00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,806 There's a straw coming out of her vagina. 549 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,850 That's Coke dildo. [Pants] 550 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:03,184 Coke dildo starts reel four. 551 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,227 [Doug] All right, give me reel four. 552 00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:06,187 It's reel four. Give it to me. 553 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:07,730 Thank you. Come on. 554 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,691 [Joyce] Oh, my God. Give me that. 555 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,025 - Come on. - [Doug] Fuck! 556 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:14,112 [upbeat music plays] 557 00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:15,947 [singer] ♪ Something's wrong ♪ 558 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,116 - [both yell] - [Joyce] Je... God, reel four. 559 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,577 ♪ ♪ 560 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,037 [doctor] Case 358. Albert Finster. Age 25. 561 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:24,873 Bachelor. 562 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:26,499 Has an obsession in finding out 563 00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:29,127 that things really do go better with Coke. 564 00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:31,671 - Relax your muscles... - [projector whirs] 565 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,506 [projector beeps] 566 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,425 [singer] ♪ I'd like to try ♪ 567 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,052 [laughter] 568 00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,973 ♪ Please don't think Less of me ♪ 569 00:19:42,140 --> 00:19:44,559 ♪ I'd like to drink A little Coke ♪ 570 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,561 [Joyce] All right. 571 00:19:46,728 --> 00:19:49,022 Oh. Thank you. [Chuckles] You're very kind. 572 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,690 Thank you. 573 00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,942 Hi, hello. 574 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,736 Did you enjoy it? Love your boa. 575 00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:56,487 'Kay, thank you. Great to meet you. 576 00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:58,990 Thank you. Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me. 577 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,658 All right, you should put some ice on that, 578 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:02,410 because we have an after-party to host. 579 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,329 Thought you nixed that. Who was it, Joyce Carol Oates 580 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:06,080 in the bathtub, reading a book or something? 581 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:08,541 No, it's Joan Didion, and she's coming to the party, okay? 582 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,043 She might actually be writing about Deep Throat 583 00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,545 for our magazine. 584 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,505 Oh, God, this really is a cultural phenomenon. 585 00:20:14,672 --> 00:20:16,090 - Uh... it's not gonna happen. - [Joyce] Hi. 586 00:20:16,257 --> 00:20:17,508 We don't have time to throw a party. 587 00:20:17,675 --> 00:20:19,177 What? No, it's fine. Constance is all over it. 588 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,637 She's got a caterer on retainer. 589 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,388 - Constance... - [Joyce] Yeah. 590 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,474 ...is gonna stock the booze for one of our parties? 591 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:25,850 - Yeah. - [Doug chuckling] No. 592 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,185 - [Joyce] Why? - No, no, if we're gonna do it, 593 00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:28,519 it's gotta be Tina. I'll send Tina. 594 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:29,771 - She knows what good... - Tina! Where is Tina? 595 00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:31,564 I haven't seen her all evening. Thank you. 596 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,067 Hi! Oh, my God, hi. 597 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:37,695 ["If It's Alright, It's Gonna Be All Night" playing] 598 00:20:37,862 --> 00:20:39,197 [Bambi chuckles] Enjoy! 599 00:20:39,364 --> 00:20:42,492 ♪ ♪ 600 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,119 - Great choice. - [singer] ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 601 00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,288 ♪ If it's all right... ♪ 602 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:48,706 [Lenny] No, no, I liked it. I liked it. 603 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:51,000 Of course, I've had a lot of women patients, 604 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,210 but the only thing I've ever found 605 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:53,294 in the back of a woman's throat 606 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:54,671 is esophageal cancer. 607 00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:55,964 - [chuckling] - So another... oh, yeah. 608 00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,548 Hey, you're driving. 609 00:20:57,715 --> 00:20:59,050 [Bambi] Oh, the green ones are for focus. 610 00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:01,177 Astronauts take them to survive reentry. 611 00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:03,721 - You can have half. - [Bambi] Ooh. 612 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:04,597 - Give it. - [Kevin] I love what you did 613 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:05,807 with the lens flare. It makes you feel 614 00:21:05,974 --> 00:21:06,849 like someone's looking. 615 00:21:07,016 --> 00:21:08,059 [Richie] Most people get derailed 616 00:21:08,226 --> 00:21:09,852 - by the monster cock. - [chuckles] 617 00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,896 Oh. Funny and talented. 618 00:21:12,063 --> 00:21:13,564 Hope you're ready to hit the big time. 619 00:21:13,731 --> 00:21:15,274 - [Richie chuckles] Okay. - [glasses clink] 620 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:17,944 [Doug] Well, the difference is, cane's got a crook, 621 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:20,238 whereas this baby right here... check that out. 622 00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:23,741 Nepalese fire opal. 623 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:26,202 - They say it's cursed. - [laughter] 624 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,788 [chuckles] I say it's expensive. 625 00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:30,581 - [Bambi] Ahem. - [Doug] A great piece. 626 00:21:30,748 --> 00:21:34,293 [singer] ♪ I know you're gonna Make it all right ♪ 627 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:37,255 [laughter] 628 00:21:42,260 --> 00:21:43,720 [person] Oh, yeah? When I was a kid, 629 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:45,263 I thought a blow job was someone 630 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:47,015 literally blowing on your dick. 631 00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:48,891 No, the first time I saw a penis, 632 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:51,144 I thought it was a long belly button. 633 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:54,397 What kind of wackos send these unsolicited? 634 00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:56,649 Aw, grandpa thinks he belongs in a magazine. 635 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,276 [laughter] 636 00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,111 That's Wayne. He has a purple heart. 637 00:22:00,278 --> 00:22:01,571 [Joyce] Yeah. And a purple penis. 638 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:05,908 Um... 639 00:22:06,075 --> 00:22:07,493 [person] Hey, can I get a refill? 640 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,495 [laughter] 641 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,039 [singer] ♪ Now, I know That when I take you... ♪ 642 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,044 [Constance] Ah, nothing more attractive 643 00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:18,629 than a man doing the dishes. 644 00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:20,631 You know, if you were 20 years younger, 645 00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:22,300 I might just lock you away in my tower. 646 00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:23,968 [Doug] Well, if you were ten years older, 647 00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:25,595 - I might let ya. - [Constance chuckles] 648 00:22:25,762 --> 00:22:27,138 I'm just sayin' my goodbyes. 649 00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:28,598 Not bad for our maiden voyage, huh? 650 00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:29,974 What do you think? You happy? 651 00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:31,768 I especially appreciate the way you handled 652 00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,519 the debacle with the missing reels 653 00:22:33,686 --> 00:22:35,438 and the police. 654 00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:37,148 - What police? - [Constance] Mm-hmm. 655 00:22:37,315 --> 00:22:38,149 I know that you're used to taking care 656 00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:41,277 of all these things by yourself, but use me. 657 00:22:41,444 --> 00:22:44,322 I was the DA's third-largest donor, 658 00:22:44,489 --> 00:22:46,199 and that prickly son of a bitch owes me. 659 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,825 Good to know. 660 00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:50,161 But I like what I saw tonight, Douglas. 661 00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:52,288 I'm very excited to roll up our sleeves 662 00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:53,998 and see where this is gonna go. 663 00:22:54,165 --> 00:22:55,083 Me too. 664 00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,001 Oh, and by the way, 665 00:22:57,168 --> 00:23:00,671 awfully generous of you to give Joyce the larger office. 666 00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:02,173 You are a gentleman. 667 00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,428 [Doug sighs] 668 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,599 Your car is on Mulholland 669 00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:12,725 somewhere between Coldwater 670 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:14,393 and Laurel Canyon. 671 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,062 That Rolls is a piece of shit, and so are you. 672 00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:17,480 I shouldn't have sent you, 673 00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:18,439 but there was no way I could have reached... 674 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:19,982 Laurel and Coldwater? 675 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:21,400 That's a two-mile stretch, Teens. 676 00:23:21,567 --> 00:23:22,944 [Tina] Tough shit. 677 00:23:23,111 --> 00:23:24,153 I just walked into a big-ass party 678 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,780 that I wasn't invited to 679 00:23:25,947 --> 00:23:28,282 for a movie I didn't get to see. 680 00:23:28,449 --> 00:23:29,325 [Doug] Go back to the party, guys. 681 00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:31,494 Have fun. Tina, please, 682 00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:32,662 you think that was my intention? 683 00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:34,038 There was no way I could reach you. 684 00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:36,249 [Tina] Résumés for my replacement. 685 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:38,668 I am the managing editor, Doug, not your secretary. 686 00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:40,878 If you need me, I'll be drinking 687 00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,172 your secret Scotch in Joyce's office. 688 00:23:43,339 --> 00:23:44,715 That's where the fun seems to be. 689 00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:48,511 - [laughter] - The-the-the only thing 690 00:23:48,678 --> 00:23:49,846 I've found at the back of a woman's throat 691 00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:52,515 - is a swollen uvula. - [all laugh] 692 00:23:53,724 --> 00:23:55,309 Okay, these pills are definitely making me funnier. 693 00:23:55,476 --> 00:23:57,061 - Can I have the other half now? - [Shelly] No. It's 2:00 a.IN. 694 00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:58,688 The sitter probably thinks we're dead. 695 00:23:58,855 --> 00:24:00,481 Okay, so what's another hour? 696 00:24:00,648 --> 00:24:02,275 You've had enough, okay? 697 00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:05,278 Y-you can tell all your friends tomorrow at the club 698 00:24:05,444 --> 00:24:08,781 about your big party with the porn stars. 699 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:11,576 That's what you think this night is about? 700 00:24:11,742 --> 00:24:13,369 Shell... 701 00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,832 Something is going on with you, and I don't know what. 702 00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:19,542 And I-I don't quite know why, but I just figured 703 00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:20,501 it would be good for us to get away 704 00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:21,502 from the kids and the house 705 00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:22,628 and the responsibilities, 706 00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:23,796 try to have a little fun together? 707 00:24:25,423 --> 00:24:26,799 I would like that, too, 708 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,760 to have some fun with you. 709 00:24:30,303 --> 00:24:32,555 Look, I love you. 710 00:24:32,722 --> 00:24:34,223 And-and whatever this is, 711 00:24:34,390 --> 00:24:35,933 I wanna figure it out with you. 712 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:37,101 Do whatever it takes. 713 00:24:39,437 --> 00:24:41,189 I do still have that other half, so... 714 00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:44,942 [Lenny chuckles] 715 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,694 [singer] ♪ ...to your lips, darlin' ♪ 716 00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:52,033 ♪ It's poison to some ♪ 717 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:53,409 [Shelly sighs] Come with me. 718 00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:54,619 I know a place. 719 00:24:56,329 --> 00:24:58,122 [indistinct] kiss. 720 00:24:58,915 --> 00:25:00,791 - [both] Oh. - [Richie] Watch out, 721 00:25:00,958 --> 00:25:02,251 the cabinet on the left is a little wobbly. 722 00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:04,462 - [Shelly] Okay. - [Richie chuckles] 723 00:25:07,798 --> 00:25:09,175 [Joan] You're the belle of the ball. 724 00:25:09,342 --> 00:25:11,469 [Joyce] Joan! Hi. 725 00:25:11,636 --> 00:25:13,554 I didn't know you were here. Hi. 726 00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:15,014 [Joan] That's by design. 727 00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:16,015 [Joyce] Oh. 728 00:25:17,725 --> 00:25:19,685 Is that your notebook? 729 00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:22,104 Are you-are you considering writing the piece? 730 00:25:22,271 --> 00:25:25,066 [sighs] I don't think I have much to say about Deep Throat. 731 00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:28,486 Oh. Really? 732 00:25:28,653 --> 00:25:30,154 Mm. 733 00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:32,490 But doesn't it seem like people are longing 734 00:25:32,657 --> 00:25:36,327 for a way to be more open about sexuality 735 00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:40,498 and-and to ask questions without feeling shame? 736 00:25:40,665 --> 00:25:42,416 And so they've turned this ridiculous movie 737 00:25:42,583 --> 00:25:43,834 into this spectacle 738 00:25:44,001 --> 00:25:46,754 to give themselves a way to do just that. 739 00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:48,464 And, do you know, I don't think it stops there. 740 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:50,549 I-I think... I don't know. 741 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,593 This feels like the beginning of something. 742 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,054 [singer] ♪ It's poison for some ♪ 743 00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,139 Sounds like you've already started writing it. 744 00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:59,475 [singer] ♪ So wait like a lady ♪ 745 00:25:59,642 --> 00:26:03,688 ♪ Lady, lady, lady Lady, lady, lady ♪ 746 00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:05,815 ♪ Wait like a lady Wait like a lady ♪ 747 00:26:05,982 --> 00:26:08,067 ♪ Lady, lady, lady... ♪ 748 00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,778 [Doug sighs] 749 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,781 - [Bambi] Hey. - [Doug] Hey. 750 00:26:13,948 --> 00:26:15,616 Well, this is the biggest party we've ever thrown. 751 00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:17,076 [Doug] Oh, by far. 752 00:26:18,995 --> 00:26:20,329 Ernest Borgnine and Warren Beatty 753 00:26:20,496 --> 00:26:21,706 came to blows in the parking lot. 754 00:26:21,872 --> 00:26:24,333 What? Why didn't anybody come tell me? 755 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,711 It wasn't a fair fight. 756 00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:28,254 Ernie dropped with one punch. 757 00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,548 Ugh, I fucking missed everything. 758 00:26:34,093 --> 00:26:35,886 I think I like the old parties better. 759 00:26:36,053 --> 00:26:38,139 Yeah. Porn's gone mainstream. 760 00:26:40,516 --> 00:26:44,895 [typewriter clacking] 761 00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,649 [groans] 762 00:26:50,401 --> 00:26:51,569 [typewriter dings] 763 00:26:53,195 --> 00:26:55,906 ["Number One" playing] 764 00:26:56,073 --> 00:26:58,909 ♪ ♪ 765 00:27:00,536 --> 00:27:04,749 [singer] ♪ My daddy said ♪ 766 00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:11,922 ♪ Son, the time's done come ♪ 767 00:27:13,758 --> 00:27:16,844 ♪ I'm gonna turn you loose And let go your hand ♪ 768 00:27:17,011 --> 00:27:20,806 ♪ You got to go in the world And prove yourself a man ♪ 769 00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:25,019 ♪ 'Cause you been Put down here ♪ 770 00:27:25,186 --> 00:27:26,812 ♪ To be number one ♪ 771 00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:28,689 ♪ You've got to rise In the morning ♪ 772 00:27:28,856 --> 00:27:30,691 ♪ And meet the sun ♪ 773 00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:33,694 ♪ You gotta sit at the table And break the bread ♪ 774 00:27:33,861 --> 00:27:35,363 ♪ And if the blood In your veins ♪ 775 00:27:35,529 --> 00:27:37,281 ♪ Is runnin' red ♪ 776 00:27:37,448 --> 00:27:39,158 ♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪ 777 00:27:39,325 --> 00:27:41,994 ♪ Or you might as well Be dead ♪ 778 00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:44,997 ♪ ♪ 779 00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:52,088 ♪ My daddy said ♪ 780 00:27:54,507 --> 00:27:58,552 ♪ Son, the time's done come ♪ 781 00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:04,642 ♪ You got to look all around Find a solid stone ♪ 782 00:28:04,809 --> 00:28:06,310 ♪ You got to make Things ready ♪ 783 00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:10,398 ♪ And build yourself a home ♪ 784 00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:12,608 ♪ 'Cause you been Put down here ♪ 785 00:28:12,775 --> 00:28:14,652 ♪ To be number one ♪ 786 00:28:14,819 --> 00:28:16,070 ♪ You got to rise In the morning ♪ 787 00:28:16,237 --> 00:28:18,406 ♪ And meet the sun ♪ 788 00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:21,158 ♪ You got to sit at the table And break the bread ♪ 789 00:28:21,325 --> 00:28:23,244 ♪ And if the blood In your veins ♪ 790 00:28:23,411 --> 00:28:25,037 ♪ Is runnin' red ♪ 791 00:28:25,204 --> 00:28:26,539 ♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪ 792 00:28:26,705 --> 00:28:28,541 ♪ Or you might as well Be dead ♪ 793 00:28:28,707 --> 00:28:30,334 [Doug] Eighteen. 794 00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:34,880 Motherfuck. 795 00:28:35,631 --> 00:28:39,176 [singer] ♪ My daddy said ♪ 796 00:28:42,471 --> 00:28:46,475 ♪ Son, the time's done come ♪ 797 00:28:48,686 --> 00:28:50,271 ♪ You got To find you a woman ♪ 798 00:28:50,438 --> 00:28:52,606 ♪ And treat her good ♪ 799 00:28:52,773 --> 00:28:55,693 ♪ Do your duty Like you know you should ♪ 800 00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:59,155 ♪ You'll never have to worry 'Bout bein' alone ♪ 801 00:28:59,321 --> 00:29:02,241 ♪ The woman's gonna make you A happy home ♪ 802 00:29:04,952 --> 00:29:06,829 ♪ 'Cause you been Put down here ♪ 803 00:29:06,996 --> 00:29:08,789 ♪ To be number one ♪ 804 00:29:08,956 --> 00:29:10,624 ♪ You got to rise In the morning ♪ 805 00:29:10,791 --> 00:29:12,626 ♪ And meet the sun ♪ 806 00:29:12,793 --> 00:29:15,588 ♪ You got to sit at the table And break the bread ♪ 807 00:29:15,754 --> 00:29:17,131 ♪ And if the blood In your veins ♪ 808 00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,924 ♪ Is runnin' red ♪ 809 00:29:19,091 --> 00:29:21,051 ♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪ 810 00:29:21,218 --> 00:29:25,598 ♪ Or you might as well Be dead ♪ 811 00:29:30,352 --> 00:29:33,230 ♪ Then you ought to be a man ♪ 812 00:29:33,397 --> 00:29:38,861 ♪ Or you might as well Be dead ♪ 813 00:29:44,700 --> 00:29:47,495 ♪ ♪