1 00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:11,044 [* "Shoot Down" by The Prodigy playing] 2 00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:19,319 [pencil scratching] 3 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,194 ♪ 4 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,575 ♪ Shoot the gun ♪ 5 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:48,580 ♪ Shoot the gun to the bang, bang, bang ♪ 6 00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:50,683 ♪ Shoot the gun ♪ 7 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,451 [inaudible] 8 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:55,689 ♪ Shoot the gun to the bang, bang, bang ♪ 9 00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:58,224 ♪ 10 00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,203 [teacher] Thank you, Stephanie. 11 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:12,505 You're welcome, Ms. Dee. 12 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,407 Thank you for saying thank you. 13 00:01:16,643 --> 00:01:18,578 ♪ Sorry face ♪ 14 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:22,882 [Ms. Dee] Spelling bee today. 15 00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:26,619 First place worth 20 gold stars. 16 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,725 [children chattering] 17 00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:34,861 Hey, Joseph, pick a card. 18 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,896 Okay, um, maybe this one. 19 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:39,232 Joseph? 20 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:42,635 Three of hearts, five of diamonds. 21 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:45,538 [Ms. Dee] Spell "metamorphosis." 22 00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:51,243 M-E-A-T-- 23 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:54,414 [Ms. Dee] Oh, I'm sorry. That's incorrect. 24 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,149 "Twelve." 25 00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:57,583 D? 26 00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:58,917 - [Ms. Dee] D? - W. 27 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:01,287 [Ms. Dee] No, Noah, I'm sorry. 28 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:06,292 H-O-C-U-S 29 00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:07,560 space 30 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,297 P-O-C-U-S. 31 00:02:11,664 --> 00:02:12,831 Hocus pocus. 32 00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:14,733 [Ms. Dee] Awesome! Okay. Back in line. 33 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,202 "Leprechaun." 34 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,705 [crying] 35 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:21,174 Why? 36 00:02:24,377 --> 00:02:28,181 [Ms. Dee] The next word is "Abracadabra." 37 00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:33,519 But that's an onomatopoeia. 38 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,322 - It's not a word. - [Ms. Dee] It is a word. 39 00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:38,991 No, it's an onomatopoeia. 40 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,493 - [Ms. Dee] It is a real word. - Onomatopoeia. 41 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,395 - [Ms. Dee] Stephanie. - Onomatopoeia! 42 00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,831 - [Ms. Dee] Okay. - I demand a real word. 43 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,966 What is this? Anarchy? Are we beasts? 44 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:49,703 [Ms. Dee] It is a word, Stephanie. 45 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,738 Okay? Just give it a try. 46 00:02:57,477 --> 00:02:58,478 A... 47 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:00,480 B... 48 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,282 R... 49 00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:03,783 A... 50 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,652 - K. - [Ms. Dee] Mm. 51 00:03:06,653 --> 00:03:07,519 [Ms. Dee clicks tongue] 52 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,757 Sorry, Stephanie. That's incorrect. 53 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,867 Sit down, Stephanie. Please. 54 00:03:21,167 --> 00:03:22,602 [echoing] You're out... 55 00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:32,579 Elijah, spell the word "Abracadabra." 56 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:36,749 [Elijah Turner] A-B-R-A... 57 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:40,453 C-A-D-A... 58 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,790 B-R-A. 59 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,560 [all cheering] 60 00:03:48,461 --> 00:03:50,496 [student] Yeah, he won! 61 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:53,766 [Ms. Dee] Great job, Elijah! You're catching up. 62 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,269 [children applauding] 63 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,739 Hey, Stephanie. 64 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,641 It's alright, okay? 65 00:04:02,642 --> 00:04:04,510 We still have the talent show coming up. 66 00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:08,682 I'm sure you'll show off one of your many skills there. 67 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,482 You're right, Ms. Dee. 68 00:04:10,483 --> 00:04:12,819 Everyone deserves their chance in the spotlight. 69 00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,524 [* "Spitfire" by The Prodigy playing] 70 00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:23,462 [Ms. Dee] The winner of the talent show gets 30 gold stars! 71 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:27,567 Yeah! Make sure you practice. 72 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,538 [keys jingling] 73 00:04:57,997 --> 00:05:01,334 [* "Spitfire" continues] 74 00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,873 {\an8}♪ If I was in World War II, they'd call me "Spitfire" ♪ 75 00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:15,448 {\an8}♪ If I was in World War II, they'd call me "Spitfire" ♪ 76 00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:23,757 {\an8}[* cheery piano music playing] 77 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:37,804 {\an8}Ladies and gentlemen, 78 00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:42,642 {\an8}I will now make Joseph disappear! 79 00:05:43,209 --> 00:05:44,711 {\an8}[wood slides] 80 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:54,988 {\an8}Ready? 81 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,625 [mallet thuds] 82 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,774 {\an8}[janitor laughing] 83 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:18,411 {\an8}[applauding] 84 00:06:19,079 --> 00:06:20,612 {\an8}[janitor] Wow, man. 85 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,214 {\an8}You are a real magician. 86 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,950 {\an8}That was really great, bud. 87 00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:27,620 {\an8}[* ominous music playing] 88 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:33,827 {\an8}He's good. 89 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,488 [keys jingling] 90 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,532 [door lock clicking] 91 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,609 [keys clatter] 92 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:44,864 [button thuds] 93 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,849 [camera shutter clicks] 94 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,190 [microphone squeals] 95 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:13,892 [announcer] Welcome to the Good Hope Academy Talent Show. 96 00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:17,530 [audience cheering and applauding] 97 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:23,335 And a big thank you to Stephanie Pearce 98 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,872 {\an8}for putting the slideshow together. 99 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,640 [static crackling] 100 00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:29,975 [clears throat] Okay. 101 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:33,947 Uh, first up, we have Mildred Sandstone 102 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,016 reciting the alphabet backwards. 103 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,586 [audience applauding] 104 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,622 Z. 105 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,190 Y. 106 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,325 [Ms. Dee] [whispering] Shh, shh, shh. 107 00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:47,626 - Backstage voices. - [Mildred Sandstone] X. 108 00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:48,660 Backstage voices, okay? 109 00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:50,129 [Mildred] W. 110 00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,730 [indistinct chatter] 111 00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:52,899 V. 112 00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:56,970 [Stephanie Pearce] You're very photogenic, Elijah. 113 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,872 Photo what? 114 00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:01,107 As in you take a nice picture. 115 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,942 I like your magician outfit, 116 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:06,079 but aren't you forgetting your diaper? 117 00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:08,982 How do you know about that picture? 118 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,317 Knock 'em dead out there, baby. 119 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,720 [Mildred] O. 120 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,355 N. 121 00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,758 [* dramatic music playing] 122 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,136 I. 123 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,673 H. 124 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,609 G. 125 00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:39,946 F. 126 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,750 E. 127 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,153 [in slow-motion] D. 128 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,123 C. 129 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,660 B. 130 00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:58,063 - A. - [audience applauding] 131 00:09:58,064 --> 00:09:59,732 [announcer] Thank you. 132 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,967 {\an8}Up next, we have Elijah Turner 133 00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,803 {\an8}with a death-defying magic trick. 134 00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:08,008 [audience applauding, cheering] 135 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,417 [* cheery piano music playing] 136 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,086 [cart rattling] 137 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:33,098 [audience gasping] 138 00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,668 [mallet thuds] 139 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:42,175 [audience] Aww! 140 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:47,080 [Elijah] It's okay, Joseph. 141 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,086 Ladies and gentlemen, 142 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:58,090 I will now make Joseph disappear! 143 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,793 [audience gasps] 144 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,095 [air whooshes] 145 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:12,238 [* dramatic music playing] 146 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,095 [mallet thuds] 147 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,966 [blood splattering] 148 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,839 [children screaming] 149 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,043 [* dramatic music playing] 150 00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,985 [music fades] 151 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,257 [trucker] [on radio] Now, wait a minute. 152 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,961 They want you to sign what kind of document? 153 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,498 [Charlie Cale] Uh, yeah, it's some kind of honor pledge, Good Buddy. 154 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,799 I don't know, I guess if I don't sign it 155 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,368 by the end of the week, I get fired. 156 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,936 [Good Buddy] Now, listen here, Pretty Vacant. 157 00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,805 Do not sign that paper. 158 00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,074 The government cannot legislate the morals of-- 159 00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:24,810 Alright, look, it's, it's, it's a private school. 160 00:12:24,811 --> 00:12:26,045 [Good Buddy] So they say. 161 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,212 Don't underestimate the scope 162 00:12:27,213 --> 00:12:30,949 of the modern indoctrinational-industrial complex. 163 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,452 Alright, Bukowski. Relax. 164 00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:34,553 I mean, it's, uh, 165 00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:37,156 it's just like a private schoolhouse type of deal. 166 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,091 I mean, yeah, it's a bit strict, but who knows? 167 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,360 Maybe a little bit of structure will be a welcome change. 168 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,328 [Good Buddy] So it's change you're looking for. 169 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:46,198 Well, I don't know. Or, uh, escapism maybe. 170 00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,566 You know, get out of the world of men, 171 00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,101 get into the world of kids, uh. 172 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,436 Get back some of that childlike wonder, 173 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,839 that love, that trust, that, uh, whole antediluvian era 174 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,107 of innocence and honesty. 175 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,377 That sounds kind of nice, right? 176 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,913 [Good Buddy] That sounds very nice. 177 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:04,184 Okay, what? 178 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,186 - [Good Buddy] Nothin'. - No, what? 179 00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:09,923 [Good Buddy] You spend much time around kids? 180 00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,257 Yeah. Me? 181 00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,193 Yeah. You know, sure. 182 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,428 Pssh. Sure. 183 00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:17,931 [Good Buddy] Alright. Good luck. 184 00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:19,298 Okay. 185 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,134 Good luck. Over. 186 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:22,369 [radio clatters] 187 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,603 Here you go. 188 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:28,041 That's a yummy yummy for your tummy tummy. 189 00:13:28,575 --> 00:13:30,042 Hi-de-ho. 190 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,945 A little Sloppy Joe. 191 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,346 Uh. Buns are up. 192 00:13:34,347 --> 00:13:35,448 You look tired. 193 00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,917 How about you keep it moving, huh? 194 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:45,291 We don't encourage staff interaction with our students. 195 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,427 Have you signed your honor pledge? 196 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:49,928 Ah, yes, yes. 197 00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,897 Uh, yes, I have. Here it is. 198 00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:55,434 Uh, sorry about that, Principal... Ma'am. 199 00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,937 It's Hamm, not "Ma'am." 200 00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:00,340 Dr. Hamm, actually. 201 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:02,975 Ah. 202 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,210 Dr. Hamm. 203 00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:06,545 Works for me. 204 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,014 Alright. 205 00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,456 J.B., my man. 206 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:20,993 You got any, uh, industrial-strength garbage bags? 207 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,495 I got something of a Sloppy Joe calamity 208 00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:24,563 happening in the kitchen. 209 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:25,931 Charlie, my dude. 210 00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:27,366 I got you covered. 211 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,535 Thanks. 212 00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:30,303 Hey, uh... 213 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,505 is it just me or is there, uh, 214 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,107 something of a petty tyrant 215 00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,042 workplace situation happening around here? 216 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,143 [Dr. Hamm clears throat] 217 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:40,512 [Charlie] Oh. Oh, great. Dr. Hamm. 218 00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,715 Hi. It's great to see you. I love saying that name. 219 00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,150 Dr. Hamm just brings me joy. Don't know why. 220 00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,486 Well, petty cash is short again. 221 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,555 $20 this time. 222 00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:52,057 Now, I know our students and teachers didn't steal it, 223 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,095 so I'm asking all of our staff. 224 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,262 Empty your pockets, please. 225 00:14:57,263 --> 00:15:01,201 - [J.B. clears throat] - Uh, Doc, you can't be serious. 226 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,202 Don't I look like I'm serious? 227 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:04,303 Well, yeah, perpetually. 228 00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,271 But, I mean, come on, it's a little bit insulting. 229 00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:07,639 It's a little more than a little insulting. 230 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:10,209 - It's actually like... - But we'd be happy to do it. 231 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,412 - Right, Charlie? - Okay, sure, uh. 232 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,383 - [keys thud] - My keys. 233 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:21,221 Mm. [groans] 234 00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:23,689 Alright then. 235 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,258 Let's keep it this way. 236 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,128 Gosh, man. 237 00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:31,663 I mean, thanks for intervening so I didn't get fired 238 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,533 but, like, holy cannoli. 239 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,402 That's some real bullshit you're putting up with. 240 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,270 - Uh, how do you do it? - It's easy. 241 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:40,739 I just remind myself that this is the best private school 242 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,308 in the Tri-County area. 243 00:15:42,676 --> 00:15:43,575 Right. [snaps fingers] 244 00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:45,444 Your, um, your kid goes here, of course. 245 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,080 Yeah. As long as I have this job, his tuition is free. 246 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,582 So, yeah, if I have to swallow my pride, uh, 247 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,318 when Hamm's on the warpath, yeah, so be it. 248 00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:56,021 I'm-- Look, ever since his mom... 249 00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:57,357 [clears throat] ...died, 250 00:15:57,724 --> 00:15:59,491 Elijah's been in his own world 251 00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:03,162 and he's been doing magic alone in his room. 252 00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:06,298 His best friend at this school is the class gerbil. 253 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,766 - [chuckles] - It's not good, but, uh, 254 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,768 lately he's been blossoming, you know? 255 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:11,637 He won the spelling bee today. 256 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,305 - Oh. - Yeah, and tomorrow, 257 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,441 he's doing his magic act for the talent show, so. 258 00:16:15,442 --> 00:16:17,309 You know what it's like as a parent 259 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,611 to see your kid grow like that? 260 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:23,082 To, to do something scary and still get a win? 261 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:25,485 Yeah. I can only imagine. No, that's cool. 262 00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:27,354 Wow. 263 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,227 [Charlie sighs] 264 00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,365 Oh! 265 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:40,165 Wow. 266 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,401 Hey, hey! Lookin' sharp. 267 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:44,737 Elijah's debuting his magic act. 268 00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:45,739 I better look sharp. 269 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:49,776 - Work it. - [announcer] [on speakers] Up next, we have Elijah Turner 270 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,244 with a death-defying magic act. 271 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:55,348 [audience cheering and applauding] 272 00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:00,620 [Charlie] You show 'em, Mini Houdini. 273 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:03,656 Mini Houdini. 274 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,192 Houdini. 275 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,329 Ah! What a guy. 276 00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,670 - [mallet thuds] - [children screaming] 277 00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:19,838 Oh, ooh, okay. 278 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,641 Sounds like somebody's a hit. 279 00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,276 - [door thuds] - [children screaming] 280 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,345 Quickly. Nobody-- [gags] 281 00:17:26,346 --> 00:17:28,113 - Nobody-- [gags] - [children screaming] 282 00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,515 Oh, gosh. Ms. Dee. 283 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,251 Ms. Dee, what happened? What's wrong? 284 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,352 Geez. 285 00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:35,254 - Just give me a minute, okay? - Yeah. 286 00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:36,889 What the hell kind of magic trick was it? 287 00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,223 [Ms. Dee] It wasn't a magic trick. 288 00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:39,358 Elijah just killed Joseph 289 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:40,526 in front of the entire school. 290 00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,528 Wait, J.B.'s kid killed another kid? 291 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,397 No. No. Joseph is the class gerbil. 292 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:48,600 Elijah put him in some kind of lantern thing and... 293 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,302 Wait a minute, are you telling me 294 00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:53,172 that the class pet's name is Joseph Gerbils? 295 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,442 Yeah. What? 296 00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:57,142 Nah-- Uh, nothing. 297 00:17:57,143 --> 00:17:58,544 But anyway, it must have been some 298 00:17:58,545 --> 00:17:59,879 kind of mix-up because... 299 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:03,515 well, Elijah crushed Joseph with the hammer. 300 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:04,750 [Elijah] I checked the box! 301 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,218 - Oh, no. - Yeah. 302 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:07,920 Just-- Ugh. Blood splattered everywhere. 303 00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,288 The entire front row is gonna need 304 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,724 some serious therapy after this one. 305 00:18:11,024 --> 00:18:12,358 Look, I gotta get these kids, okay? 306 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,595 - Yeah, yeah. Of course. - [Ms. Dee] Come back this way, please. 307 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,701 Ah, sheesh. 308 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,442 - Charlie? - Hey, hey. 309 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,644 I found this in the, uh, parking lot. 310 00:18:32,645 --> 00:18:34,680 I thought Elijah might want it back. 311 00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:35,749 [sighs] 312 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,549 Thanks. 313 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:42,555 Oh, and, uh, I thought you might need this. 314 00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:44,957 Ta-da! 315 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,393 Abracadabra. 316 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,628 So, uh, how's he doing? 317 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,462 Have a listen. 318 00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,597 [Elijah] Never get out of the boat. 319 00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,767 Never get out of the boat. Never get out of the boat. 320 00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:56,802 [J.B. Turner] And he's been like that since he's been home. 321 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,737 He won't eat. He, he won't leave his room. 322 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:00,773 He wants me to burn all of his magic stuff. 323 00:19:00,774 --> 00:19:03,643 All the progress he's made. We've made. 324 00:19:04,044 --> 00:19:05,511 It's all disappeared just like that. 325 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,613 [sighs] I don't understand. 326 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,615 D-Don't kids forget everything that happened, 327 00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:10,716 like, 12 seconds afterwards? 328 00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:13,720 Uh, something about too much water in their brains? 329 00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:16,389 I think you're thinking of goldfish. 330 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,426 I am. 331 00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,494 No, I don't think he's ever gonna live this down. 332 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:24,363 The video of the talent show is online, 333 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,898 and some parents have been commenting. 334 00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:28,500 And one of them even suggested that they start a petition 335 00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,537 to expel Elijah from school. 336 00:19:31,705 --> 00:19:33,572 I'm sorry, don't, don't they understand 337 00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:35,974 that this is just a terrible accident? 338 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,677 - [scoffs] - What? 339 00:19:38,712 --> 00:19:39,679 No. 340 00:19:39,979 --> 00:19:41,947 No, come on. You wanna say something, say it. 341 00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:44,416 No, no, no. Nothing. You're right. You're right. 342 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:45,951 It was probably all just a, 343 00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,554 just a terrible accident. 344 00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:48,955 Bullshit. 345 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:52,959 Fine. 346 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:57,429 There was a box under the lantern. 347 00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,433 It had a hole in it. That's how the trick works. 348 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,270 Yeah, so Elijah waves a wand with one hand, 349 00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:07,673 and with the other hand, he secretly pulls a string. 350 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:10,709 The gerbil drops through onto a little cushion. 351 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,312 That way, when Elijah swings the mallet, 352 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,581 there's nothing there. 353 00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,317 Okay. 354 00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,051 Yeah, well, the box was turned upside down. 355 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:22,421 There was no hole for the gerbil to fall through. 356 00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:25,258 And that's when, when everything went wrong. 357 00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:26,992 [mallet thuds] 358 00:20:26,993 --> 00:20:29,462 So, Elijah, 359 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,665 he, uh, turned the box the wrong way? 360 00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:35,568 That gerbil was his best friend. 361 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,771 He would've, he would've double, triple checked 362 00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:41,608 to make sure that it was safe. 363 00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,743 Listen, I know my son. 364 00:20:44,878 --> 00:20:47,681 Someone sabotaged his magic trick. 365 00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,017 Yes, okay. You think I'm crazy. 366 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,986 [exhales sharply] Nah, man, I just, uh... 367 00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:55,854 You know, I think maybe it was something 368 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,925 a little bit less diabolical than all that. 369 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,593 Ah. 370 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:03,697 Hey, look, I-I-I'm sorry, pal. 371 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:04,963 Having kids seems rough. 372 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:07,801 I just-- Is there anything that I can do to help? 373 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:10,936 Well, um, yeah. 374 00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:14,373 I mean, if you wouldn't mind feeding the, uh, 375 00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:15,741 surviving gerbils. 376 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:18,477 - It, uh... - Mm. Yeah, sure. 377 00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:19,913 [J.B.] ...it was Elijah's job. 378 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,349 The food is in my office. 379 00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,850 Keys to the kingdom. 380 00:21:24,851 --> 00:21:26,618 Yeah, no, try not to lose those. 381 00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,354 'Cause the only other person that has keys 382 00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:30,389 to my office is Dr. Hamm, so. 383 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:31,690 [Charlie] Dr. Hamm. 384 00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:32,925 You know, I think I like that name 385 00:21:32,926 --> 00:21:36,462 because it reminds me of a cartoon doctor pig, 386 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:38,897 uh, wearing a stethoscope. 387 00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:40,333 Paging Dr. Hamm. 388 00:21:43,536 --> 00:21:45,939 Ah. Uh, look... 389 00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,509 Elijah's gonna bounce back, okay? 390 00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:53,045 And the other kids are gonna come around. 391 00:21:53,046 --> 00:21:54,413 [J.B.] Yeah, I don't know. 392 00:21:54,414 --> 00:21:55,714 Kids live in a different world than we do, 393 00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:57,583 and it's a lot bigger, and it's a lot louder, 394 00:21:57,584 --> 00:21:59,085 and it's a lot meaner. 395 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:01,721 It's a jungle down there. 396 00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:06,425 [keys jingling] 397 00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:07,727 Take it easy. 398 00:22:07,961 --> 00:22:09,661 I'm sorry, man. 399 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,430 [Elijah] Never get out of the boat. 400 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:12,631 Never get out of the boat. 401 00:22:12,632 --> 00:22:14,668 Never get out of the boat. 402 00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:21,141 [cart rattling] 403 00:22:23,009 --> 00:22:25,144 [Ms. Dee] Oh, my God. Thank goodness. 404 00:22:25,145 --> 00:22:27,579 The kids could really use a distraction. 405 00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:28,882 Right here's good. 406 00:22:30,750 --> 00:22:31,984 [Charlie] Here goes nothing. 407 00:22:31,985 --> 00:22:33,118 - [kids screaming] - [Ms. Dee] Oh, no, no, no. 408 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:35,120 Okay, maybe, uh, start at the corners. 409 00:22:35,121 --> 00:22:37,122 - Uh, uh, sorry. - [child] Uh, Ms. Dee, we need some help. 410 00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:38,757 Oh, geez, um. Okay, I'll be right back. 411 00:22:38,758 --> 00:22:39,958 I got a nosebleed at 7 o'clock. 412 00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:41,627 No, lean forward. Not backwards. 413 00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:42,761 You'll choke. 414 00:22:42,762 --> 00:22:45,965 [children crying] 415 00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:49,035 [* dramatic music playing] 416 00:23:14,060 --> 00:23:15,160 [air whooshing] 417 00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:18,097 Hey, uh, what's the story with pigtails over there? 418 00:23:18,098 --> 00:23:19,498 Oh, Stephanie? 419 00:23:19,499 --> 00:23:20,733 Oh, she might be the most upset 420 00:23:20,734 --> 00:23:21,934 about what happened. 421 00:23:21,935 --> 00:23:23,602 This morning, she even asked me if we'd do 422 00:23:23,603 --> 00:23:25,471 a class prayer on Joseph's behalf. 423 00:23:25,472 --> 00:23:27,840 Geez. Uh, that's very thoughtful of her. 424 00:23:27,841 --> 00:23:29,541 Yeah, I thought so too. 425 00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:31,243 I gave her two gold stars for it. 426 00:23:31,244 --> 00:23:32,544 Oh. 427 00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:34,880 She's our star student. Literally. 428 00:23:34,881 --> 00:23:37,850 Holy Toledo. So, like, she just, uh, wins everything? 429 00:23:37,851 --> 00:23:38,917 Well, almost. 430 00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:41,520 I mean, technically, no one won the talent show. 431 00:23:41,521 --> 00:23:43,589 And she lost the spelling bee. 432 00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:44,790 Oh, uh, right. 433 00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:45,858 To, um... [clicks tongue] 434 00:23:45,859 --> 00:23:47,993 - ...uh, J.B.'s kid, right? - Yeah. 435 00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:49,862 - Uh, Elijah-- - Ah! No, no. 436 00:23:49,863 --> 00:23:54,166 Maybe don't say his name out loud just yet. 437 00:23:54,167 --> 00:23:55,201 Give it some time. 438 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:01,207 [Charlie] Huh. 439 00:24:11,217 --> 00:24:13,219 [children playing] 440 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:17,624 Wow. Stephanie, right? 441 00:24:18,758 --> 00:24:20,560 That's right. Can I help you? 442 00:24:21,027 --> 00:24:22,828 You're a real achiever, huh? 443 00:24:22,829 --> 00:24:24,196 [giggles] Says who? 444 00:24:24,197 --> 00:24:25,097 Well, says you. 445 00:24:25,098 --> 00:24:26,732 According to you, you love to achieve. 446 00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:27,866 I do. 447 00:24:27,867 --> 00:24:30,837 I just wanna be the best me possible. [giggles] 448 00:24:31,338 --> 00:24:32,805 Huh. 449 00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:34,140 Hey, uh... 450 00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:37,676 so, uh, what does that mean? 451 00:24:37,677 --> 00:24:39,945 Uh, like, having the most gold stars? 452 00:24:39,946 --> 00:24:42,715 Not to brag, but that makes me the best me 453 00:24:42,716 --> 00:24:44,016 and the best kid in the class. 454 00:24:44,017 --> 00:24:46,719 Well, I mean, except for spelling, right? 455 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,787 Like, Elijah is the best at spelling. 456 00:24:48,788 --> 00:24:50,789 He's also the best at murdering animals 457 00:24:50,790 --> 00:24:52,592 and giving everyone nightmares. 458 00:24:52,826 --> 00:24:54,093 Does that make you upset 459 00:24:54,094 --> 00:24:55,894 that Elijah's better than you at spelling? 460 00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:57,196 Not at all. 461 00:24:57,197 --> 00:24:59,265 Everyone deserves a chance to shine. 462 00:24:59,532 --> 00:25:02,201 Well, somehow, I, uh, 463 00:25:02,202 --> 00:25:04,236 well, I don't think you believe that. 464 00:25:04,237 --> 00:25:06,038 [Stephanie] Whatever do you mean? 465 00:25:06,039 --> 00:25:09,608 Well, uh, I can see that you're a gifted kid. 466 00:25:09,609 --> 00:25:12,111 And, believe it or not, I'm a little gifted too. 467 00:25:12,112 --> 00:25:14,681 At what? Smelling like wet beef? 468 00:25:15,148 --> 00:25:17,951 That, and I can tell if somebody is lying. 469 00:25:18,284 --> 00:25:20,653 Okay, wow. Neato. 470 00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:24,023 Alright, how about we just, uh, 471 00:25:24,024 --> 00:25:26,292 slow down on this thing so I don't vomit. 472 00:25:26,826 --> 00:25:30,262 Now, I think that maybe you were a little bit upset 473 00:25:30,263 --> 00:25:32,698 because Elijah was gaining on you, right, 474 00:25:32,699 --> 00:25:34,033 with those gold stars? 475 00:25:34,034 --> 00:25:37,270 So, you sabotaged his magic trick. Am I right? 476 00:25:37,604 --> 00:25:39,973 - No. - Bull... 477 00:25:41,241 --> 00:25:42,275 shoot. 478 00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:44,611 Bull shoot. [chuckles] 479 00:25:44,878 --> 00:25:49,615 I, uh, well, I happened to find this in the, uh, custodian's office, 480 00:25:49,616 --> 00:25:52,918 and, uh, that's where Elijah keeps his magic kit. 481 00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:55,621 So, it's very hard proof that you were in there. 482 00:25:55,622 --> 00:25:57,690 And, well, [scoffs] 483 00:25:57,691 --> 00:25:58,691 I think you and I both know 484 00:25:58,692 --> 00:26:01,026 that Elijah didn't kill that gerbil on purpose. 485 00:26:01,027 --> 00:26:03,796 It only happened because you messed with his magic trick. 486 00:26:03,797 --> 00:26:06,965 Now, you, you have a chance here, okay, 487 00:26:06,966 --> 00:26:09,034 to do the right thing, I mean, the brave thing, 488 00:26:09,035 --> 00:26:11,271 and just clear Elijah's name. 489 00:26:12,105 --> 00:26:13,373 What do you say, kid? 490 00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:16,943 I say... 491 00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:21,313 [gulps] 492 00:26:21,314 --> 00:26:22,181 What the hell? 493 00:26:22,182 --> 00:26:24,684 Just try and prove it now. Good luck. 494 00:26:28,822 --> 00:26:29,989 [scoffs] 495 00:26:33,059 --> 00:26:35,695 [Elijah] [on video] ...now Joseph disappear! 496 00:26:36,029 --> 00:26:38,732 - [mallet thuds] - [children screaming] 497 00:26:39,132 --> 00:26:40,866 - [mallet thuds] - I know you missed something, 498 00:26:40,867 --> 00:26:43,135 you pigtailed demon child, 499 00:26:43,136 --> 00:26:45,371 and I'm gonna find it. 500 00:26:45,372 --> 00:26:46,405 [clicks tongue] 501 00:26:46,406 --> 00:26:49,876 ♪ 502 00:26:56,149 --> 00:26:59,852 Hey, kiddo, so who's the resident computer whiz around here? 503 00:26:59,853 --> 00:27:03,155 Oh, um, I guess I am. 504 00:27:03,156 --> 00:27:05,958 [Charlie] Oh, cool. So, what do you say? You wanna log me on? 505 00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:07,860 I'll make it worth your while. 506 00:27:07,861 --> 00:27:12,131 Okay, uh, so this is the entire video 507 00:27:12,132 --> 00:27:13,699 of the talent show. 508 00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,701 Alright. Okay. What can we find? 509 00:27:15,702 --> 00:27:17,436 - Alright. - [video speeding] 510 00:27:17,437 --> 00:27:19,238 Uh-huh, okay. 511 00:27:19,239 --> 00:27:21,373 Snoozefest. 512 00:27:21,374 --> 00:27:22,976 - Huh. - [key clicks] 513 00:27:24,411 --> 00:27:26,845 Okay, so Elijah runs off stage. 514 00:27:26,846 --> 00:27:28,113 Then when he comes back, 515 00:27:28,114 --> 00:27:31,151 his picture is missing from the slideshow. 516 00:27:31,451 --> 00:27:33,286 {\an8}Which Stephanie made. 517 00:27:33,586 --> 00:27:35,220 Hey, uh, do you know 518 00:27:35,221 --> 00:27:38,290 i-i-is this the exact computer that Stephanie used 519 00:27:38,291 --> 00:27:39,826 to make those slides? 520 00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:42,295 [child snoring] 521 00:27:43,096 --> 00:27:44,263 [sighs] Okay. 522 00:27:44,264 --> 00:27:46,899 Um, let's take a peek here. 523 00:27:46,900 --> 00:27:49,435 - [mouse clicking] - Uh, great. 524 00:27:49,436 --> 00:27:53,939 Okay, alright, here's her presentation and the slideshow pictures. 525 00:27:53,940 --> 00:27:56,976 - Aww. - [child laughing] 526 00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:00,279 Oh, my God. 527 00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,114 Hey. Hey, what's so funny? 528 00:28:02,115 --> 00:28:03,982 That's just a cute little baby picture. 529 00:28:03,983 --> 00:28:06,518 Look at Elijah. Dumb diaper baby. 530 00:28:06,519 --> 00:28:08,821 - Oh, my God. - [Charlie] Wait, wait, wait. 531 00:28:08,822 --> 00:28:10,155 This is embarrassing? 532 00:28:10,156 --> 00:28:11,424 [child laughing] 533 00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:16,161 Huh. So, is that why Stephanie went into J.B.'s office? 534 00:28:16,162 --> 00:28:20,299 To, to, to, to create some kind of distraction? 535 00:28:20,300 --> 00:28:21,834 [Dr. Hamm] [on PA system] Will Charlie Cale 536 00:28:21,835 --> 00:28:23,936 report to the principal's office, please? 537 00:28:23,937 --> 00:28:25,537 - Charlie Cale. - Yeesh McGeesh. 538 00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,539 I'm like a grown-ass man. 539 00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:30,476 Why, why did that just make me terrified? 540 00:28:30,477 --> 00:28:32,511 Hey, you really shouldn't say A-S-S 541 00:28:32,512 --> 00:28:34,514 unless it's like a donkey in the Bible. 542 00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:36,482 Oh, okay. 543 00:28:36,483 --> 00:28:38,150 I'll-I'll amend that behavior. 544 00:28:38,151 --> 00:28:40,519 I'm not really supposed to have sugar. 545 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:41,920 [Charlie] Oh. 546 00:28:41,921 --> 00:28:43,956 Look, I'm aware that I may come across 547 00:28:43,957 --> 00:28:45,258 as somewhat inflexible. 548 00:28:45,759 --> 00:28:47,826 Uh, but you have to understand the position I'm in 549 00:28:47,827 --> 00:28:50,362 as the head of an elite preparatory academy. 550 00:28:50,363 --> 00:28:53,232 I have multiple competing stakeholder groups 551 00:28:53,233 --> 00:28:55,502 that I have to deal with on a daily basis. 552 00:28:55,802 --> 00:28:57,970 The children, their parents, 553 00:28:57,971 --> 00:28:59,838 uh, the board of trustees. 554 00:28:59,839 --> 00:29:02,776 Not to mention the teachers and staff. 555 00:29:03,143 --> 00:29:05,978 What's best for one group might not necessarily be 556 00:29:05,979 --> 00:29:08,013 what's most pleasing to the others. 557 00:29:08,014 --> 00:29:11,950 That means, every day, I have to make hard decisions 558 00:29:11,951 --> 00:29:15,955 that will ultimately make somebody unhappy. 559 00:29:17,557 --> 00:29:18,590 Are you firing me? 560 00:29:18,591 --> 00:29:20,026 Yes. 561 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,361 Uh, I am so sorry. 562 00:29:22,362 --> 00:29:23,897 Might I ask why? 563 00:29:24,197 --> 00:29:26,999 I can't have a cafeteria worker 564 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,867 harassing a student 565 00:29:28,868 --> 00:29:32,471 or calling her a "pigtailed demon child." 566 00:29:32,472 --> 00:29:35,107 Stephanie? No, no, no. 567 00:29:35,108 --> 00:29:37,276 I was not harassing her. 568 00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:39,345 [Dr. Hamm] Well, she showed me a video. 569 00:29:39,346 --> 00:29:40,412 Oh, yeah? 570 00:29:40,413 --> 00:29:42,581 Well, look, uh, if anything, 571 00:29:42,582 --> 00:29:44,917 Stephanie was harassing Elijah. 572 00:29:44,918 --> 00:29:46,885 That's preposterous. 573 00:29:46,886 --> 00:29:49,222 Stephanie is our star student. 574 00:29:49,723 --> 00:29:52,891 She sabotaged Elijah's magic trick. 575 00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:56,529 And that is how the class gerbil went belly up. 576 00:29:56,863 --> 00:29:59,899 Well, that's a very harsh accusation. 577 00:30:00,300 --> 00:30:03,002 Well, in the first place, she had a motive. 578 00:30:03,003 --> 00:30:06,305 Elijah was, uh, gaining on her with these gold stars. 579 00:30:06,306 --> 00:30:07,406 She didn't like that. 580 00:30:07,407 --> 00:30:10,210 And next, opportunity. 581 00:30:10,877 --> 00:30:12,378 Elijah had to leave the stage 582 00:30:12,379 --> 00:30:15,581 when he saw that really embarrassing picture 583 00:30:15,582 --> 00:30:17,049 that Stephanie put in the slideshow. 584 00:30:17,050 --> 00:30:18,550 And, uh, well, 585 00:30:18,551 --> 00:30:20,886 that gave her a perfect window 586 00:30:20,887 --> 00:30:23,023 to just mess with his magic trick. 587 00:30:24,324 --> 00:30:25,458 Do you have proof? 588 00:30:25,625 --> 00:30:27,359 I did have proof, 589 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,463 but that little demon-haired bitch ate it. 590 00:30:31,231 --> 00:30:33,499 Look, do you wanna help Elijah or not? 591 00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:37,037 Because, man, this kid, he could really use our help. 592 00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:38,438 And... 593 00:30:39,105 --> 00:30:41,875 Wait, now that I'm thinking about it, I... 594 00:30:42,242 --> 00:30:44,343 How the hell did Stephanie get into that custodian closet? 595 00:30:44,344 --> 00:30:46,612 There's only two people that have keys, right? 596 00:30:46,613 --> 00:30:49,148 It's you. It's, uh, J.B., of course. 597 00:30:49,149 --> 00:30:50,249 - So, uh-- - [desk thudding] 598 00:30:50,250 --> 00:30:52,951 We are not here to discuss my keys 599 00:30:52,952 --> 00:30:55,255 or my friendship bracelet. 600 00:30:58,425 --> 00:30:59,526 Uh... 601 00:31:01,227 --> 00:31:05,398 I was not discussing your friendship bracelet. 602 00:31:09,669 --> 00:31:14,206 Uh, unless you want me to talk to you 603 00:31:14,207 --> 00:31:15,974 about your friendship bracelet? 604 00:31:15,975 --> 00:31:18,144 I suggest you leave my office. 605 00:31:20,046 --> 00:31:21,548 Well, okay. 606 00:31:22,415 --> 00:31:23,148 [sighs] 607 00:31:23,149 --> 00:31:25,518 And go to the restroom downstairs. 608 00:31:26,353 --> 00:31:27,286 Huh? 609 00:31:27,287 --> 00:31:29,322 Second stall from the back. 610 00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:34,027 [Charlie] Uh. 611 00:31:37,597 --> 00:31:39,032 Okay. 612 00:31:46,406 --> 00:31:48,575 [* suspenseful music playing] 613 00:31:54,047 --> 00:31:55,181 [door closes] 614 00:32:06,092 --> 00:32:07,494 Okay. Uh... 615 00:32:11,698 --> 00:32:13,565 Oh, shit. 616 00:32:13,566 --> 00:32:16,468 So, you're the cash box thief? 617 00:32:16,469 --> 00:32:18,570 Shh. Quiet! 618 00:32:18,571 --> 00:32:20,340 This is humiliating enough. 619 00:32:20,774 --> 00:32:22,275 Go to page six. 620 00:32:23,476 --> 00:32:24,743 [Charlie] Okay. 621 00:32:24,744 --> 00:32:26,311 [Dr. Hamm] I've developed a bit of a, 622 00:32:26,312 --> 00:32:28,447 of a gambling habit, okay? 623 00:32:28,448 --> 00:32:31,183 Which means, sometimes, I don't have much cash on me. 624 00:32:31,184 --> 00:32:33,686 So, sometimes, I grab a little. 625 00:32:33,687 --> 00:32:37,022 [Charlie] Well, not exactly role model behavior, Dr. Hamm. 626 00:32:37,023 --> 00:32:39,758 [Dr. Hamm] Well, I always put the cash back the next day. 627 00:32:39,759 --> 00:32:42,696 But one time, Stephanie caught me. 628 00:32:44,130 --> 00:32:45,632 - [lid thuds] - Oh God, her, 629 00:32:45,965 --> 00:32:50,369 her parents manage Beavers' Corners Casino. 630 00:32:50,370 --> 00:32:53,539 She's been blackmailing me ever since. 631 00:32:53,540 --> 00:32:56,409 That's how she got the keys to J.B.'s office. 632 00:32:56,676 --> 00:32:58,377 My hands are tied. 633 00:32:58,378 --> 00:33:00,145 [Stephanie] Wear this as a reminder. 634 00:33:00,146 --> 00:33:03,149 If you ever cross me, you're out of a job. 635 00:33:03,683 --> 00:33:06,752 [Charlie] Hey, not to go out on a flying broomstick or anything, 636 00:33:06,753 --> 00:33:09,621 but, uh, I mean, you're talking about a little girl 637 00:33:09,622 --> 00:33:11,590 and a couple of bucks here, 638 00:33:11,591 --> 00:33:14,226 a few dollars there out of a cash box. 639 00:33:14,227 --> 00:33:15,394 I mean, it just can't be that big of a deal. 640 00:33:15,395 --> 00:33:17,629 [Dr. Hamm] Well, well, t-tell that to the kids' parents. 641 00:33:17,630 --> 00:33:21,401 They pay 30 grand a year for an elite education. 642 00:33:21,935 --> 00:33:24,404 I mean, it's all about appearances. 643 00:33:24,704 --> 00:33:26,473 So, how's this gonna look? 644 00:33:27,173 --> 00:33:28,742 Oh. Yeah, sure. 645 00:33:29,409 --> 00:33:32,511 - Uh, I-I-I-I'm sorry. - [Dr. Hamm sighs] 646 00:33:32,512 --> 00:33:34,246 So, you're just gonna let pigtails 647 00:33:34,247 --> 00:33:35,782 run Elijah out of the school? 648 00:33:36,116 --> 00:33:38,384 Changing schools might be the best thing for Elijah. 649 00:33:38,385 --> 00:33:40,587 Better than being in Stephanie's crosshairs. 650 00:33:40,887 --> 00:33:43,489 - [sighs] - Stephanie is untouchable. 651 00:33:43,490 --> 00:33:44,323 Trust me. 652 00:33:44,324 --> 00:33:47,126 Save yourself and just walk away. 653 00:33:47,127 --> 00:33:48,561 [door opens] 654 00:33:56,436 --> 00:33:59,172 [* ominous music playing] 655 00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:02,342 [door creaking] 656 00:34:10,183 --> 00:34:11,785 [knocking on door] 657 00:34:16,690 --> 00:34:18,625 [door creaking] 658 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:23,162 Too bad they don't give out gold stars 659 00:34:23,163 --> 00:34:25,364 for outsmarting the lunch lady. 660 00:34:25,365 --> 00:34:27,801 Or should I say ex-lunch lady? 661 00:34:28,101 --> 00:34:31,404 Huh. Gold stars. Yada, yada. 662 00:34:32,072 --> 00:34:34,440 Gold stars go to the best student, 663 00:34:34,441 --> 00:34:37,142 not the class weirdo who's only at this school 664 00:34:37,143 --> 00:34:38,711 because his dad cleans the potties. 665 00:34:38,712 --> 00:34:40,480 Alright, kid, listen to me. 666 00:34:41,014 --> 00:34:43,382 If you keep this up, you just-- 667 00:34:43,383 --> 00:34:45,485 you're not gonna have a lot of friends. 668 00:34:46,619 --> 00:34:48,221 I don't need friends. 669 00:34:49,022 --> 00:34:51,724 Hey, look, there's this expression, right? 670 00:34:51,725 --> 00:34:53,359 Goes like this: 671 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:55,594 "It's lonely at the top." 672 00:34:55,595 --> 00:34:58,230 Meaning, everybody needs friends. 673 00:34:58,231 --> 00:34:59,466 Even you. 674 00:35:04,404 --> 00:35:07,574 [Stephanie crying] 675 00:35:08,274 --> 00:35:10,509 Hey, hey, hey. 676 00:35:10,510 --> 00:35:11,944 It's alright. What's wrong? 677 00:35:11,945 --> 00:35:13,879 It's gonna be okay. It's okay. 678 00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:15,382 You okay? 679 00:35:16,449 --> 00:35:18,651 Maybe I say I don't need friends... 680 00:35:19,252 --> 00:35:22,255 because they're the one thing I want the most. 681 00:35:23,923 --> 00:35:25,625 And I act out because... 682 00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:28,528 I just want someone to like me. 683 00:35:34,668 --> 00:35:35,669 Bullshoot. 684 00:35:36,469 --> 00:35:38,505 [* ominous sting] 685 00:35:41,608 --> 00:35:44,643 [sings] ♪ It's lovely at the top, it's lovely at the top ♪ 686 00:35:44,644 --> 00:35:47,346 ♪ It's lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely lovely at the top ♪ 687 00:35:47,347 --> 00:35:49,248 - Fucking kid. - ♪ Lovely at the top ♪ 688 00:35:49,249 --> 00:35:51,418 - ♪ Lovely at the top ♪ - [door slams] 689 00:35:55,488 --> 00:35:56,522 [door opens] 690 00:35:56,523 --> 00:35:57,856 [Charlie] Hey, hey. 691 00:35:57,857 --> 00:35:58,958 Hey. 692 00:36:00,293 --> 00:36:01,327 Whoa, uh... 693 00:36:03,329 --> 00:36:05,331 I'm actually on my way out, uh. 694 00:36:05,699 --> 00:36:07,700 Well, turns out, kids aren't really my bag. 695 00:36:07,701 --> 00:36:10,770 But, uh, I wanna feed the gerbils before I go. 696 00:36:11,638 --> 00:36:13,272 Knock yourself out. 697 00:36:13,273 --> 00:36:14,773 I just wish, uh, 698 00:36:14,774 --> 00:36:16,675 could've figured out a way to help Elijah out. 699 00:36:16,676 --> 00:36:19,245 Oh, yeah. Yeah, me too. 700 00:36:20,347 --> 00:36:21,848 I thought I was helping. 701 00:36:22,415 --> 00:36:23,883 Between me and you... 702 00:36:25,618 --> 00:36:26,952 I was giving him all magic-related 703 00:36:26,953 --> 00:36:28,687 spelling bee words on purpose. 704 00:36:28,688 --> 00:36:31,591 I mean, that kid's got so much potential. 705 00:36:31,958 --> 00:36:35,461 I thought all he needed was just a nice little victory 706 00:36:35,462 --> 00:36:36,695 to help him come out of his shell. 707 00:36:36,696 --> 00:36:38,597 [Charlie] [chuckles] Well, uh, 708 00:36:38,598 --> 00:36:39,631 that's very teacherly of you. 709 00:36:39,632 --> 00:36:42,968 Yeah, I also thought it'd be good for Stephanie 710 00:36:42,969 --> 00:36:45,371 to learn how to deal with a little disappointment. 711 00:36:45,372 --> 00:36:48,708 Yeah. No gold stars for pigtails on that front. 712 00:36:49,576 --> 00:36:50,777 Ah. 713 00:36:51,311 --> 00:36:52,578 Ah! 714 00:36:52,579 --> 00:36:54,346 God, man, were-were kids this mean 715 00:36:54,347 --> 00:36:55,447 when we were growing up? 716 00:36:55,448 --> 00:36:57,516 [Ms. Dee] Oh, yeah. Definitely. 717 00:36:57,517 --> 00:36:58,817 I mean, on some level, they know that 718 00:36:58,818 --> 00:37:01,487 adolescence is just around the corner, 719 00:37:01,488 --> 00:37:03,956 and it's gonna be total warfare. 720 00:37:03,957 --> 00:37:05,758 So, they're, they're testing boundaries 721 00:37:05,759 --> 00:37:08,360 and building up walls, 722 00:37:08,361 --> 00:37:09,862 often as early as second grade. 723 00:37:09,863 --> 00:37:11,931 But, you know, at the same time... 724 00:37:12,999 --> 00:37:13,866 [sighs] 725 00:37:13,867 --> 00:37:15,367 ...they still have these, 726 00:37:15,368 --> 00:37:18,937 these little kid hearts. 727 00:37:18,938 --> 00:37:20,939 They wanna love each other. 728 00:37:20,940 --> 00:37:22,042 Yeah. 729 00:37:22,342 --> 00:37:24,710 Childhood. The worst. 730 00:37:24,711 --> 00:37:26,011 [Ms. Dee] Mm. 731 00:37:26,012 --> 00:37:27,613 I tell you, I don't blame Elijah 732 00:37:27,614 --> 00:37:28,781 for wanting to hang out with the gerbils 733 00:37:28,782 --> 00:37:30,316 instead of his classmates. 734 00:37:31,785 --> 00:37:35,422 Everything's so much simpler down there. 735 00:37:40,493 --> 00:37:41,695 Hmm. 736 00:37:42,696 --> 00:37:44,297 The boat. 737 00:37:45,031 --> 00:37:49,436 Elijah kept saying, uh, "Never get out of the boat." 738 00:37:50,770 --> 00:37:52,072 And I get it. 739 00:37:52,405 --> 00:37:53,840 I mean, look at these guys. 740 00:37:54,341 --> 00:37:56,809 Yeah, no gold stars, 741 00:37:56,810 --> 00:37:58,711 no competition, no cruelty. 742 00:37:58,712 --> 00:38:02,014 Just, well, taking care of each other 743 00:38:02,015 --> 00:38:03,983 and loving each other no matter what. 744 00:38:04,250 --> 00:38:06,753 [Ms. Dee] Mm. Most of the kids get that. 745 00:38:08,121 --> 00:38:09,322 Yeah. 746 00:38:10,090 --> 00:38:13,727 But, uh, not Stephanie, huh? 747 00:38:14,260 --> 00:38:16,329 Well, not yet at least. 748 00:38:18,932 --> 00:38:21,800 Hey, I... I've got an idea 749 00:38:21,801 --> 00:38:24,871 for how we could, uh, you know, help Elijah out, uh. 750 00:38:26,106 --> 00:38:28,574 But we're gonna need a bigger boat. 751 00:38:28,575 --> 00:38:31,844 [bell ringing] 752 00:38:31,845 --> 00:38:34,114 [J.B.] You're doing great, bud. You'll be just fine. 753 00:38:35,148 --> 00:38:36,483 Dad, I'm scared. 754 00:38:36,750 --> 00:38:38,351 They're all gonna hate me. 755 00:38:38,651 --> 00:38:39,852 [J.B.] No. No, they're not. 756 00:38:39,853 --> 00:38:41,153 No one's gonna hate you. 757 00:38:41,154 --> 00:38:44,390 Hey, listen, you're doing it, okay? 758 00:38:44,391 --> 00:38:46,558 You're-- And I'm right here with you. 759 00:38:46,559 --> 00:38:47,994 I'm so proud of you, bud. 760 00:38:50,163 --> 00:38:51,498 Okay. [sniffles] 761 00:38:52,866 --> 00:38:54,067 [door clicking] 762 00:38:54,567 --> 00:38:56,869 [children] Welcome back, Elijah! 763 00:38:56,870 --> 00:38:58,604 We missed you. 764 00:38:58,605 --> 00:39:00,939 - We love you. - What is this? 765 00:39:00,940 --> 00:39:02,708 [Ms. Dee] We wanted to show you that we love you 766 00:39:02,709 --> 00:39:04,576 and that we're all in the same boat. 767 00:39:04,577 --> 00:39:06,812 [J.B.] You hear that, bud? Everybody's so happy to see you. 768 00:39:06,813 --> 00:39:07,980 Yes, they are. 769 00:39:07,981 --> 00:39:10,883 [Ms. Dee] And we have some very special news to share. 770 00:39:10,884 --> 00:39:12,752 We were able to revive Joseph. 771 00:39:13,053 --> 00:39:16,422 - He's all better now. - [children applauding] 772 00:39:16,423 --> 00:39:19,024 - Are you crazy? - I can't believe it. 773 00:39:19,025 --> 00:39:21,026 You know Joseph's still dead, right? 774 00:39:21,027 --> 00:39:22,728 [Ms. Dee] We're all together again! 775 00:39:22,729 --> 00:39:24,897 [children cheering] 776 00:39:24,898 --> 00:39:26,632 That's an imposter. 777 00:39:26,633 --> 00:39:27,966 [children applauding] 778 00:39:27,967 --> 00:39:29,601 Joseph Gerbils is still dead. 779 00:39:29,602 --> 00:39:30,804 That's not your gerbil husband. 780 00:39:31,171 --> 00:39:33,038 [Ms. Dee] That's enough, Stephanie. 781 00:39:33,039 --> 00:39:34,773 Hey, you know what, I love Elijah so much, 782 00:39:34,774 --> 00:39:36,642 I'm gonna give him all my gold stars. 783 00:39:36,643 --> 00:39:37,776 [children cheering] 784 00:39:37,777 --> 00:39:38,911 What?! 785 00:39:38,912 --> 00:39:40,646 - No! - [children] Elijah! Elijah! 786 00:39:40,647 --> 00:39:43,450 - [Stephanie] Put those back. - [children] Elijah! Elijah! 787 00:39:43,717 --> 00:39:46,419 That's... that's... 788 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:50,556 that's socialism! 789 00:39:50,557 --> 00:39:53,093 [* upbeat rock music playing] 790 00:39:58,131 --> 00:39:59,898 [panting] 791 00:39:59,899 --> 00:40:01,568 No running, please. 792 00:40:02,802 --> 00:40:04,971 [* suspenseful music playing] 793 00:40:05,805 --> 00:40:07,207 [keys jingling] 794 00:40:24,557 --> 00:40:25,858 [camera shutter clicks] 795 00:40:25,859 --> 00:40:27,760 Now, that's one for the slideshow. 796 00:40:27,761 --> 00:40:29,561 What are you doing here? You're fired. 797 00:40:29,562 --> 00:40:31,998 I should be asking you the same question. 798 00:40:33,933 --> 00:40:35,534 But, look, 799 00:40:35,535 --> 00:40:38,504 Elijah's dad is a thief, a cash box thief. 800 00:40:38,505 --> 00:40:39,738 Wow. 801 00:40:39,739 --> 00:40:41,874 Trying to get Elijah kicked out of school 802 00:40:41,875 --> 00:40:42,975 by gettin' his dad fired. 803 00:40:42,976 --> 00:40:44,878 I mean, that's low even for you. 804 00:40:45,145 --> 00:40:47,880 So? What are you gonna do about it? 805 00:40:47,881 --> 00:40:50,215 Oh, me? Me, nothing. 806 00:40:50,216 --> 00:40:52,718 But a force greater than either of us 807 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:53,886 is coming for you, kid. 808 00:40:53,887 --> 00:40:55,587 Oh, no. The police? 809 00:40:55,588 --> 00:40:56,889 Puberty. 810 00:40:56,890 --> 00:40:59,024 Now, here's how this is gonna go down. 811 00:40:59,025 --> 00:41:01,093 Your little reign of terror? Oh, it's over. 812 00:41:01,094 --> 00:41:02,961 No more bracelets. No more blackmail. 813 00:41:02,962 --> 00:41:04,763 Or else this photo's gonna wind up 814 00:41:04,764 --> 00:41:07,232 in not just your parents' inbox but also the admissions office 815 00:41:07,233 --> 00:41:10,136 of every elite boarding school on the East Coast. 816 00:41:10,770 --> 00:41:12,105 Shake on it. 817 00:41:16,776 --> 00:41:18,610 Yep. 818 00:41:18,611 --> 00:41:20,647 Wow. Best friends forever. 819 00:41:21,314 --> 00:41:23,949 [* "Pass It On" by Julius Larosa playing] 820 00:41:23,950 --> 00:41:25,518 ♪ Pass it on ♪ 821 00:41:25,919 --> 00:41:28,253 ♪ When you get that happy feeling ♪ 822 00:41:28,254 --> 00:41:30,289 They're nice animals. Treat them with respect. 823 00:41:30,290 --> 00:41:33,158 Be gentle. That's one of the main things. You have to be gentle. 824 00:41:33,159 --> 00:41:35,694 ♪ And if you want to keep that feeling, pass it on ♪ 825 00:41:35,695 --> 00:41:36,996 ♪ Pass it on ♪ 826 00:41:37,297 --> 00:41:40,132 - ♪ Chase away your neighbor's sadness ♪ - [sighs] 827 00:41:40,133 --> 00:41:42,801 ♪ And it'll fill your heart with gladness ♪ 828 00:41:42,802 --> 00:41:46,772 ♪ So when you get that happy feeling, pass it on ♪ 829 00:41:46,773 --> 00:41:49,174 - ♪ Pass it on ♪ - ♪ And when your cup is running over ♪ 830 00:41:49,175 --> 00:41:51,110 It's perfect, Dad. Thank you. 831 00:41:51,111 --> 00:41:53,912 ♪ Pass it on ♪ 832 00:41:53,913 --> 00:41:56,682 ♪ And if you want to stay in clover... ♪ 833 00:41:56,683 --> 00:41:58,050 [shredder whirring] 834 00:41:58,051 --> 00:41:59,585 ♪ Pass it on ♪ 835 00:41:59,586 --> 00:42:02,287 ♪ You can bet it's worth the trouble ♪ 836 00:42:02,288 --> 00:42:05,024 ♪ 'Cause what you give you get back double ♪ 837 00:42:05,025 --> 00:42:07,626 ♪ And when your cup is running over ♪ 838 00:42:07,627 --> 00:42:10,629 ♪ And when you get that happy feeling ♪ 839 00:42:10,630 --> 00:42:14,833 - ♪ Pass it on ♪ - [school bell ringing] 840 00:42:14,834 --> 00:42:16,069 ♪ Pass it on ♪ 841 00:42:16,369 --> 00:42:18,303 So, yeah, I mean, it turns out 842 00:42:18,304 --> 00:42:21,373 that a bunch of 8-year-olds didn't have all the answers. 843 00:42:21,374 --> 00:42:23,842 [Good Buddy] [on radio] Who knew? Oh yeah, I knew. 844 00:42:23,843 --> 00:42:25,178 Ah, right. 845 00:42:27,247 --> 00:42:28,581 Ah. 846 00:42:28,848 --> 00:42:31,351 But I will tell you something. 847 00:42:31,885 --> 00:42:34,953 I mean, they will always find a way to surprise you. 848 00:42:34,954 --> 00:42:36,188 [clicks tongue] 849 00:42:36,189 --> 00:42:37,690 Over. 850 00:42:37,691 --> 00:42:38,791 [radio clatters] 851 00:42:38,792 --> 00:42:39,892 [Charlie laughs] 852 00:42:39,893 --> 00:42:42,762 [* ominous music playing] 853 00:42:45,131 --> 00:42:48,268 [* "Spitfire" by The Prodigy playing] 854 00:42:53,139 --> 00:42:56,109 [tires squealing] 855 00:43:01,381 --> 00:43:03,383 ♪ 856 00:43:16,896 --> 00:43:21,101 ♪ If I was in World War II, they'd call me Spitfire ♪ 857 00:43:24,971 --> 00:43:28,842 ♪ If I was in World War II, they'd call me Spitfire ♪ 858 00:43:32,946 --> 00:43:37,050 ♪ If I was in World War II, they'd call me Spitfire ♪ 859 00:43:41,187 --> 00:43:44,157 ♪ If I was in World War II, they'd call me... ♪ 860 00:43:44,791 --> 00:43:45,792 ♪ Fire ♪ 861 00:43:49,029 --> 00:43:50,263 ♪ Fire ♪ 862 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,143 [* song ends]